My MIL stole my kitchen!!!

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

 

[dakcp2001]

Yikes. That is pretty horrid. Maybe wait and see how it turns out and then tweak your design! She can be the rough draft.

 

[TLSnell1981]

.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

 

[minkydog]

It would take a lot more than that to horrify me. This wouldn't even be a blip on my radar

 

[EMom]

When I was about 6, the families of two girls I was in class with each built a house located next to each other. The first mom picked out exactly what she wanted in colors, decorating features, etc. The second mom's house was a bit behind hers schedule-wise. When the second mom's house started to be built, the first mom went to see it and it was TOTALLY done in every single thing Mom #1 had selected. Different floor plan, but everything that could be selected was identical. She gritched about that for years and I can see why.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I did this to my mom. She had her kitchen remodeled in 2003. When I built my townhouse in 2005 I picked similar cabinets and a similar looking countertop. It helped my transition from there house to my house and made my new place feel more like home.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

That's what hubby says. I'm trying.

It would take a lot more than that to horrify me. This wouldn't even be a blip on my radar

If you knew MIL... if this was the only thing she had done.... It's not worth my time/energy to say anymore about her though.

 

[mamacatnv]

I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc.

I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that"

 

[tvguy]

I have no problem with that. Now, a friend's mother has a habit of "borrowing" items from her kitchen that never seem to make it back. You'd think that a 75 year old woman who raised 3 kids would have every pot and pan she needed, especially now that she lives alone, but apparently not.

My favorite was 2 years ago, she "borrowed" her daughter's Christmas tree.

 

[Janepod]

I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc.

I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that"

I agree. If she bought the same clothes you wanted (meaning, there would be a chance of the two of you showing up in the same outfit), then maybe there's something to get annoyed about. But the same kitchen in two different houses? No big deal.

 

[Robbi]

My friend had tiles custom painted for her kitchen. Her SIL asked if it was ok to bring her mom over to see the quality of the painting. The mom got another artist to paint the identical tiles for her kitchen. It was not a pretty scene between the SILs for a while. I told friend to back off because her SIL had zero idea that her mom would do this.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.

 

[wiigirl]

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

Agreed...but still no one likes a copycat.

 

[SAT887]

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

A lot of people. Always has weirded me out, mostly because when it has been done to me it's a weird competitive thing. Currently in a declining friendship for similar reasons - I the list is outrageous to the point I stopped telling her about purchases, vacation plans, remodel plans, hair cuts even....

However even if its not the case- just think of it as a compliment because you have great taste I am betting this us the easiest way to go bc it's your MIL

Yikes. That is pretty horrid. Maybe wait and see how it turns out and then tweak your design! She can be the rough draft.

I like this idea!

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

...

 

[Poohforyou]

I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.

If she's so horrible why are you sharing the details of your life with her?

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

If she's so horrible why are you sharing the details of your life with her?

Nevermind.

 

[Sabeking]

I can understand...you did some planning on something special and she kind of stole your thunder.

 

[Jennasis]

I get it OP. I'd be cheesed off too. Luckily, my MIL and I have tastes that aren't even remotely similar so I don't think that would ever happen. She has however taken back furniture she gave us when DH and I bought our house...7 years later. She claimed she needed it more than we did (it was dining room furniture but she wanted to use it for display purposes in her new antique shop...which lasted a month before she was broke and had to close shop). So we then had no dining room furniture.

She also decided to take (at the same time she took the furniture...AND while I wasn't home) a bridal shower gift she had given me 5 years prior. They were two vases. She claimed "You weren't using them"...they were displayed on the dining room buffet she took.

We don't really talk to her anymore.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

I can understand...you did some planning on something special and she kind of stole your thunder.

I get it OP. I'd be cheesed off too. Luckily, my MIL and I have tastes that aren't even remotely similar so I don't think that would ever happen. She has however taken back furniture she gave us when DH and I bought our house...7 years later. She claimed she needed it more than we did (it was dining room furniture but she wanted to use it for display purposes in her new antique shop...which lasted a month before she was broke and had to close shop). So we then had no dining room furniture.

She also decided to take (at the same time she took the furniture...AND while I wasn't home) a bridal shower gift she had given me 5 years prior. They were two vases. She claimed "You weren't using them"...they were displayed on the dining room buffet she took.

We don't really talk to her anymore.

Thank you - she is a hard person to take and I just needed to vent. I cannot believe your MIL did that to you! Well, I kind of can.. ours took back the baby clothes she gave us when we had DS so she could sell them in her garage sale.