"Girls" sizes vs. "Junior" sizes - Update Post #34

[Robbi]

It's hard to say because 2 people can be the same height and weight yet wear different sizes. OP, I'd send the clothes to her. She'll be thrilled whether the clothes fit now or not. It will be something new to her. It may give her mother the hint that she needs to shop for her daughter.

 

[Marionnette]

It's hard to say because 2 people can be the same height and weight yet wear different sizes. OP, I'd send the clothes to her. She'll be thrilled whether the clothes fit now or not. It will be something new to her. It may give her mother the hint that she needs to shop for her daughter.

Knowing my former SIL, she will take the clothes that don't fit to a consignment shop and pocket the money! If anything, it will give her reason to think that she doesn't need to buy any clothes for my niece.

This whole conversation came about because my brother was driving his daughter to school the other morning and she was going on and on about needing clothes that fit. Then she (my niece) asked if he could pay the child support early because "we need to pay the rent". Who puts a child in the middle of child support discussions?!!!!

This is after my brother scraped together the money to pay all of February's child support two weeks ago because his ex was behind on the rent for December and January and then bought my niece two new pairs of jeans following the incident at school. He doesn't have the spare cash to pay for March's child support or even get new sneakers for the kids - which my niece also needs and I'm suggesting that my parents take her out for her upcoming birthday to get them.

 

[Robbi]

Knowing my former SIL, she will take the clothes that don't fit to a consignment shop and pocket the money! If anything, it will give her reason to think that she doesn't need to buy any clothes for my niece.

This whole conversation came about because my brother was driving his daughter to school the other morning and she was going on and on about needing clothes that fit. Then she (my niece) asked if he could pay the child support early because "we need to pay the rent". Who puts a child in the middle of child support discussions?!!!!

This is after my brother scraped together the money to pay all of February's child support two weeks ago because his ex was behind on the rent for December and January and then bought my niece two new pairs of jeans following the incident at school. He doesn't have the spare cash to pay for March's child support or even get new sneakers for the kids - which my niece also needs and I'm suggesting that my parents take her out for her upcoming birthday to get them.

This is so sad for your niece. If her mother is neglectful, maybe your brother could try to get custody.

 

[gwynne]

Thank for all of the input. In looking back, my daughter says that she never wore a 00 or 0 size. She went from wearing Girls 14 slims to wearing Junior size 3 and XS. Her memory is much better than mine!

I guess that I'll just send whatever I have and let my niece pick through them. I told her if there is anything that doesn't fit or isn't in keeping with her taste, I want her to drop them in the clothing box at church.

Now to find a box big enough to hold everything and to check UPS shipping costs!

I second the idea of the USPS boxes. You can fit quite a bit in those.
The clothes you are sending have been washed, and that can affect size, too. Great idea to just send 'em all, and let her have fun trying them on.

 

[daughtersrus]

My DD(23) is about 5'4 and weighs about 125lbs.

She normally wears a size 9-10 in juniors. At Christmas, we were shopping for some gifts in the girls section at JCPenney. On a whim, she tried on a pair of girls size 12 1/2. She was shocked that they were actually too big on her. Especially in the butt. I'm not sure how much extra room they put in with their 1/2 sizes.

DD did say that when she needs new jeans, she going to try a girls 10 1/2 and see if they fit. Their much cheaper than junior sizes.

 

[sookie]

Just send the junior sized clothes. My DD is about 75 lbs and in 6th grade and I put her in size 12 at justice. So I don't think that this girl is a size 12 since she has about 20-25lbs on my DD... so maybe the clothes WILL fit her. If they don't, they will in the future.

If you want to send $$, maybe send a gift card?

 

[sookie]

My DD(23) is about 5'4 and weighs about 125lbs.

She normally wears a size 9-10 in juniors. At Christmas, we were shopping for some gifts in the girls section at JCPenney. On a whim, she tried on a pair of girls size 12 1/2. She was shocked that they were actually too big on her. Especially in the butt. I'm not sure how much extra room they put in with their 1/2 sizes.

DD did say that when she needs new jeans, she going to try a girls 10 1/2 and see if they fit. Their much cheaper than junior sizes.

Generally, a girls 10-1/2 is equivalent to a 12 in the waist but shorter in the length. My DD was buying those last year because she was shorter, and they fit her better in the waist. Now my DD is taller but her waist is the same - so we go with the 12. She hasn't really gained weight but has gotten taller. Of course - every manufacturer is different.

I would scrap this idea.

 

[NotUrsula]

I'd send some money as well (because if her clothing is too small, her underclothing will be, too, poor kid), but with your ESIL so inclined to re-appropriate funds, I wouldn't send a check, but a gift card to a place that mostly only sells clothing. Old Navy or Kohl's would probably be a good option.

If the shirts/sweaters or skirts that you send are a bit too large, she can probably still wear them, but that is harder to do with pants because of the length. I'd also consider sending a kit of sewing basics that she can use to take a tuck here or there if needed. (Even if she doesn't really know how to sew, necessity is the mother of invention, and the odds are she will speak to her friends and find her own way to alter them in a way that works for her needs.)

Also, tell your brother that unless he is paying the support through a court-verified holding account, he needs to be getting receipts for those advance payments that state that they were advances on regular support payments, because it will be very easy for her to claim that those payments were extra gifts for DD's needed clothing, and that the regular support in the following months was not paid.

As to who puts a kid in the middle of support discussions, I'm guessing that might not really have been the case. It may be that she overheard her mother talking to someone about the rent situation. As a kid she can't really earn money of her own very easily, but she knows that her dad pays her mom support, so that could just be DN trying on her own to help keep the roof overhead.

 

[gwynne]

I'd send some money as well (because if her clothing is too small, her underclothing will be, too, poor kid), but with your ESIL so inclined to re-appropriate funds, I wouldn't send a check, but a gift card to a place that mostly only sells clothing. Old Navy or Kohl's would probably be a good option.

Also, tell your brother that unless he is paying the support through a court-verified holding account, he needs to be getting receipts for those advance payments that state that they were advances on regular support payments, because it will be very easy for her to claim that those payments were extra gifts for DD's needed clothing, and that the regular support in the following months was not paid.

BBM, This was something I thought of, too. He also probably needs to be thinking about what to do in the future. This problem may become a regular thing.

 

[HelenePA]

My 12yr old is in a 3 juniors. She is about 5'1" 85 pounds. Now my 10 yr old is in a size 12 slim in girls.. she is about 4'10 and 55 pound (yes she is VERY VERY slim) There is NO way my 12 yr old could fit into her sisters clothes... they'd NEVER button! Even in a reg 12! She will fit into the juniors.. if your afraid of mom putting them up for consignment cut the tags out of them and write the size in with a sharpie.

 

[Marionnette]

I'd send some money as well (because if her clothing is too small, her underclothing will be, too, poor kid), but with your ESIL so inclined to re-appropriate funds, I wouldn't send a check, but a gift card to a place that mostly only sells clothing. Old Navy or Kohl's would probably be a good option.

If the shirts/sweaters or skirts that you send are a bit too large, she can probably still wear them, but that is harder to do with pants because of the length. I'd also consider sending a kit of sewing basics that she can use to take a tuck here or there if needed. (Even if she doesn't really know how to sew, necessity is the mother of invention, and the odds are she will speak to her friends and find her own way to alter them in a way that works for her needs.)

Also, tell your brother that unless he is paying the support through a court-verified holding account, he needs to be getting receipts for those advance payments that state that they were advances on regular support payments, because it will be very easy for her to claim that those payments were extra gifts for DD's needed clothing, and that the regular support in the following months was not paid.

As to who puts a kid in the middle of support discussions, I'm guessing that might not really have been the case. It may be that she overheard her mother talking to someone about the rent situation. As a kid she can't really earn money of her own very easily, but she knows that her dad pays her mom support, so that could just be DN trying on her own to help keep the roof overhead.

Good idea about the undergarments. I didn't think about her outgrowing those as well, so I'm sure that my brother didn't even give it a passing thought. I think that I'll send money to my parents so that Grandma can take her lingerie shopping some weekend. A gift card to ANY store becomes a shopping spree for the ex. She even told my brother to purchase pants with a 27" waist and Misses size small tops for my niece. There's no way that the kid wears a Misses size in anything, but her mother does. The ex has even been known to return gifts for the children for store credit and then spend it on herself. That's one of the reasons that I'm not sending anything new for my niece.

My brother is not paying support through the court. The support agreement is that he writes a check to his ex every two weeks. He writes "child support for dd/mm/yy" in the comments. I don't know if this covers his butt well enough or not. He tells me that he is paying more than the state mandated amount for his income level because his lawyer did not want my brother to deal with child support being revisited.

Full custody is another story and way too complicated to get into.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Knowing my former SIL, she will take the clothes that don't fit to a consignment shop and pocket the money! If anything, it will give her reason to think that she doesn't need to buy any clothes for my niece.

This whole conversation came about because my brother was driving his daughter to school the other morning and she was going on and on about needing clothes that fit. Then she (my niece) asked if he could pay the child support early because "we need to pay the rent". Who puts a child in the middle of child support discussions?!!!!

This is after my brother scraped together the money to pay all of February's child support two weeks ago because his ex was behind on the rent for December and January and then bought my niece two new pairs of jeans following the incident at school. He doesn't have the spare cash to pay for March's child support or even get new sneakers for the kids - which my niece also needs and I'm suggesting that my parents take her out for her upcoming birthday to get them.

(bolding mine) That is so sad!!

It sounds like your BIL lives close enough to get the things to her, so I would go ahead and the send the clothes to HIS address, and just let her go through them while she is visiting him and see what fits/what she likes. As you said, they can always save things for her to grow into or donate anything she can't wear.

 

[gwynne]

Good idea about the undergarments. I didn't think about her outgrowing those as well, so I'm sure that my brother didn't even give it a passing thought. I think that I'll send money to my parents so that Grandma can take her lingerie shopping some weekend. A gift card to ANY store becomes a shopping spree for the ex. She even told my brother to purchase pants with a 27" waist and Misses size small tops for my niece. There's no way that the kid wears a Misses size in anything, but her mother does. The ex has even been known to return gifts for the children for store credit and then spend it on herself. That's one of the reasons that I'm not sending anything new for my niece.

My brother is not paying support through the court. The support agreement is that he writes a check to his ex every two weeks. He writes "child support for dd/mm/yy" in the comments. I don't know if this covers his butt well enough or not. He tells me that he is paying more than the state mandated amount for his income level because his lawyer did not want my brother to deal with child support being revisited.

Full custody is another story and way too complicated to get into.

BBM. He may want to have a brief visit with his attorney to:
1. Update on current situation (ex is requesting advance support)
2. Make certain that the payment arrangements he is currently using are adequate to cover him as proof he has paid support.
3. Get advice on how to handle future requests for advance support

 

[Marionnette]

I just wanted to post an update. I ended up sending some Girl's Size 14 and 14-Slim clothing out for my niece. My daughter is a bit of a clotheshorse and she had almost a dozen pairs of jeans in those sizes.

My brother texted me that my niece took the clothes back to her mother's house after her weekend with him. She tried them on this afternoon and informed him that the jeans were too big but the tops fit okay. I had also sent out some gently-used sneakers in her size but she told him that the shoes were too big and "floppy". Of course, she wants new Chuck Taylors and jeans from Juicy Couture, so I'm thinking that those labels might be contributing to her size issues.

My brother is appreciative of the help but I don't know if I'll go through the effort of washing, folding and shipping another parcel of clothes out for her. In many ways, she is her mother's daughter. I do love my niece, but I'm thinking that the clothes would find better use if I take them to the clothing donation bin at my church.

But I do want to thank everyone who offered advice on sizes. I don't know if my ex-SIL was clueless about the child's sizes and measurements or if she intentionally mislead my brother when he asked her. Either way, he's no better off than he was before I sent the clothes out. In fact, it has re-opened the "I need to go clothes shopping" dialogue with my niece. And that's a conversation that he is tired of having.