I knew this was going to turn into a bash each other thread before it even started. Wow.
Anyhow, when thinking of how stressed out people get when learning they may be diagnosed with something such as autism or just about any other type of health issue be it mental, emotional, physical, etc.
What does a diagnosis do? It doesn't change the person. The diagnosis can be very helpful (as long as its not a misdiagnosis - my personal example would be a doctor saying I had anxiety and possible asthma and prescribed antidepressants and an inhaler when my actual problem was my thyroid and that was never addressed until I saw a cardiologist because it was causing cardiac issues.. this was my 3rd misdx due to this.. first was cardiac when I was 19, put on heart meds, found out I was pregnant -they assumed it was all due to pregnancy, then the above)
Sorry to get off topic. The OP wanted to know about each of your and your personal experiences. If she is new to AS/AD, then she needed to be reassured in sort of way. Not that you need to sugar coat anything but just that her child, if diagnosed, isn't somehow going to be a different person.
To OP: Whether your child is diagnosed or not, he will still be your child. Only difference is, now you can [hopefully] get the assistance that he's been possibly lacking. That's a good thing, right?? You life may get a lot busier and even hectic at times, but that would have happened anyway. As children age, their needs change. All have different attitudes, different likes/dislikes, quirks, skills (some academic, some sports, etc). ALL people (typical/nontypical) are different... some just more so than others.
Honestly, I have 3 kids...
My oldest (13yr old boy) has ADHD/ODD - it was a 'nightmare' when he was little (climbed on top of a 3 story apt building when he was 4, would run out of his school, store, etc into the parking lot from 4 up until about 8yrs old.. he pooped his pants until 8(it was always on purpose)... but he also had anxiety and depression due to a lot of things going on around him. We moved a lot, he switched schools, his dad is in the army and was deployed almost from the day we moved back to the US in 2002 (he was 2 at the time - this is when his behavior took a major turn for the worse). However, he's a very kind, sweet, considerate young man that has anger outbursts when his anxiety gets too high. Visiting with a psychologist seemed to help him with his anger outbursts. He just needed a place to be able to let out his feelings or aggression. All people do this differently. One child that I keep in the afternoons does this by writing and drawing his feelings.
Now, at 13 he still has all the same issues, but they are less and he's learned over time to known when they are flaring up. Sometimes he has to stand to play a board game with us or stand to do work at school. We've also noticed, for him, diet and nutrition (adding certain vits/mins) play a huge role. I can tell, for example, if he's eaten junk at school. Unfortunately, the school took out the salad bar and that used to be what he ate almost everyday. Now he's eating what they serve in the hot line and his ADHD/ODD is flaring up more frequently.
My daughter (11yrs old, middle child), is what you would call NT. She's definitely got her own unique personality and quirks. She's had digestive issues which has led her to be chronically underweight. Also has scoliosis. We believe this was the major contributing factor to her digestive issues. A wonderful chiropractor has just about succeeded to 'straightening her out' LOL. Anyhow, very little foot/leg/back pain, almost no digestion (constipation) issues and her last visit to Vandy showed her spine is near perfect!! Since puberty hit, she's turning into a sassy monster at times, but what do you expect? Oh I forgot.. she has a ton of med & food allergies.
My little guy (4yr old) - he's being referred for AS/AD eval. I've always known he was different, BUT its because I had experience and knew what to look for, etc. If he's officially diagnosed then it won't change HIM. He's the sweetest kid I know. His co-morbidities are more concern for me... Seizures, sleep apnea, sensory processing disorder, lactose intolerance, digestion issues and who knows what else.
I think the biggest problems (now please correct me if I'm wrong - but no bashing, that's not what this thread was about) are the co-morbids. I was just reading an article the other day about the prevalence of seizures as a co-morbid.... ever heard of absent seizures for instance... there are some types of neurological disruptions or even seizures that can be viewed as 'typical autistic behaviors'.
Ok, back to MY main topic. Please stop bashing each other for their personal experiences. Could just be that the negative experiences are more recent and still a raw spot that needs some reassurance, some kind words, understanding and hugs??? If you were having a rough time with things would you rather people bash you or reach out to you??? We all get so caught up in caring for our children that we often forget to take care of ourselves. I'm definitely one of those people, esp since I'm also a single mom and their dads are basically absent (one by choice, the other by army orders-lives in another country). I really hope all of you can find support within your local communities, church, mom's group, etc. Boards like this are great, but having someone you can lean on in real life is even better sometimes
Aspergers is as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or my gender. It would be impossible to choose which parts of my personality come from the way I am wired and which have come from the life I have lived. Thank goodness my parents never considered me or anything about me to be such a nasty, ugly, destructive thing. Goodness knows I don't feel like a victim of anything. 
