No Buy ~ January 2013 edition

[Reddy]

I love the Zoo membership

I will have to buy the new cup for the year - where it is $1 to get refills - we usually buy 2 & share

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

I have a DD who is 12 too. We don't pay for grades either. It's do your best- she is a straight A student. If she is struggling with something she usually lets us know. I am still friends with a lot of her elementary teachers, I tried to keep the lines of communication open so that if there was issues I would know. This year I have stepped back a bit since its junior high, but I have emailed them to let them know we would be out of town and to request homework. I have always taken the sink or swim approach with her- these are your responsibilities and they need to be done or its your issue. Its not my fault if you don't do your homework when you're told and now its bed time and it wont be ready for turn in tomorrow. Luckily we don't usually have that, she is good about coming home and getting it done right away.

DD#2 is in first grade and she is the opposite of DD#1- she could care less about school. Its a social place for her and nothing more. the only 4 she got which is the equivalent of an A was in PE, the rest were 2's and 3's. She struggles a lot and has to be put back on task a lot, I've been discussing with her teacher on how to make things stick.

As far as online stuff, I know what they are up too at all times. DD knows that I check her phone messages on a regular basis to see what she's up too and whats being said.

 

[Deffenm]

So far doing really well this month. I have to go to grocery store tonight which I am always afraid of as I always go over budget. I WILL stick to my list and not pick up that package of cookies that I don't need.

I will also not go to Target no matter how good the toy clearance is. My kids do not need toys.

I have only spent money on bills, groceries, and gas so far this month. My budget for Gas is $400 and I have spent $139.47. My grocery budget is $600 and I have spent $86.40. I hope to spend less then $150 but it will be tough as we are out of everything.

I am thankful that my kids are still some what young and my biggest expense is sports. DS12 plays hockey which is $700 a season, DS13 plays school sports and it is $75 per sport, and DD9 she is my book worm she doesn't really like to play sports. Although we will have the 8th grade DC trip coming up in Oct. for oldest DS. That is when it all starts.

We do have a 529 plan started as well as the grandparents have accounts set up to help pay for college when that time comes. Our oldest has severe learning disabilities so we will be very happy if he is able to learn a trade. Our middle DS12 is smart but has some mental health issues that gets in his way of reaching his full potential. We pray everyday that he just grows up to become a producitve member of society. Our DD wants to be a vet and she reminds us of it all the time. So who knows what our future holds but whatever it is we are making sure we are financially prepared and not spending money on useless things is one way for us to get there, so thanks again for starting this thread.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Oh, I have doled out sports fees for years (since the kids were 4!)... I was so glad when they hit school sports and I only paid what was needed for required fundraising amounts.. I don't like fundraising so we just pay the amount ourselves.. (although when we sold car wash tickets, I used them as stocking stuffers!)... The only sports fees I have now is for DS12 (soccer season x 2) and DS16's spring soccer... (due to rules HS'ers can not play in the fall due to HS team sports)... DD plays intermurals at college so she pays for shirts or whatever they need from her monthly allotment... (which she is saver, if it's not a NEED she does without and then pleads "the poor college kid" act.. LOL).. Which reminds me.. I need to sign the boys up for soccer yet this month...wonder when I will get that email...

 

[JJ&JHsmom]

My oldest DS was the same way. Everything came easily to him and so he formed NO STUDY HABITS. That was great until junior and senior year when he took the AP classes that were actually a challenge and needed to put in the effort, but didn't know how. If I can stress one thing, make him learn good study & organization habits now so it doesn't come back to bite him when the grades REALLY count. Junior year was very stressful for both of us!

I will second this! It is very difficult to learn good habits later on.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

NO buy day was a success!!

 

[princess stich]

NO buy day was a success!!

Yeah!


I had to pay dance competition fees for my daughter- not fun!

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

No buy day here! Dbf even tried to get me to cave and buy dinner. He was informed last night I wasn't cooking dinner since I had loads of work, plus the new dance schedule.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I am glad to know that everyone with 12 year old boys seem to be in the same situation with the video games. It is a daily battle here that the ds &/or ipod do NOT go to school....still not sure why they are allowed at lunch, but they are & the kids get no recess. It is not the "norm" for our area, but not much about our school district is. I am the "meanie" who says no video games during school week & limits time on weekends too. I am going to implement the 2pm Sunday rule; I will be popular this weekend.
DS12 is my oldest, so flying blind. Another question about grades, if you don't mind. When you look at grade for class, is it solely number or does nature of assignment matter? This semester lowest grade in 2 classes, really pulling overall grade down is a "coloring/drawing" project part. All of the written examples are correct, but coloring/drawing doesn't look like what it should. So test is 100, coloring project 80 makes average 90.
I appreciate all the advice & guidance. You all seem to be on top of things with your kids. I do not find that to be true in my "real" life. I have been told "I cannot, & frankly do not want to even try, to keep track of what my kids do online. Between the itouch, iphone, ipad & computer it would be too much." Somedays I feel like I am crazy, but I do not want to end up blindsided by trouble. There is way too much out there, kwim? Thanks in advance & sorry for long post. I got carried away, but editted out a ton! LOL!

I can pretty much second everything Nancy said. I don't pay for grades, we also have a sink or swim policy in the house, however if you sink I take away all entertainment. For DS11 his DSi, TV, and basketball are his currency. For DS12 Drama club was his currency, for DS16 it's his phone.
As for grades, if they lost 10 points for coloring I don't care, if they lose 10 points for grammar and spelling we have an issue. I care about the meat and bones of a paper, assignment, project. Personally I think coloring is stupid beyond 4th grade. About the only thing I care about for coloring is mapping, but you'd better know where Tennessee is before you worry about what color it is.

I will tell you I am not popular with the boys friends because I am a mom, not a friend. My kids know and have known from day 1. I will snoop in your room, I read texts, I check browser history. I pay for that crap, it's my house, it's my rules. I note times the kids are on the computer and I will check the history. If it's been deleted DH will do a forensic sweep of my laptop and find what you hid.
I will walk up to DS16 and put my hand out, and he knows give mom the phone right now.

Who told you you can't know what they are doing online?? Sure as hell better not be your kids. My money paid for those devices, I can make them disappear. You don't "need" an iPad, phone or computer. Hell, DS16 just got internet access and the camera on his phone 2 months ago. I shut all that crap off and put an admin password on his phone. I also pay $5 a month at ATT to have smart limits on DS's phone. I limit how many texts he can send a month. yeah, we have unlimited texting but it's about learning self control.

lemme go dig something up for you I found on Pinterest.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

 

[PrincessNancy96]

DS12 just did something w/ his phone.. the buttons are all wonky... he went and pulled DS16's old phone.. then DH said "we could get him a new phone".. UH, no hand-me-downs are pefect for a 12yo... He doesn't need something with all the bells and whistles.. heck we don't even have phones with internet access... (now talk to me later this year we may...but gotta get rid of some chumps first! LOL)...

Just was told tonight if DS16 advances in his competition next weekend we have to chuck up some money for state conferences oh in 2 weeks... then if he advances in state he could go to nationals at WDW S&D.... oh, the price for him alone is 1K.... I love you boy but the dates are not good for us!!! (it's the days we are to move PJ home from college....)

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

You're nice!! DS12 doesn't have a phone at all!!! They get that when they graduate 8th grade, and only if they do after school activities.

 

[Reddy]

Buffy that is perfect - I need it on facebook

 

[PrincessNancy96]

We only have it for him because of school sports/activities...
Dang, just got the fees for the boys' spring soccer 250.00... we have never paid that much (even when we paid for all 5 kids to play)..and DS12 uses the same uniform for spring as he had in fall so there is NO reason to pay for that uniform again... DH has an email out but that sets me off... there is NO excuse for fees to be that high for 8 games... that's all we played last year.. 8 games....

 

[Reddy]

where do they think parents come up with this money???
for $250 you better own that

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Not sure...we had 200 budgeted...because I based it off of last year... I hope it was just an oversight and that those who played in the fall get a little bit of a discount... fingers crossed... if not, this might be the last season we play here...

 

[JJ&JHsmom]

Nan, hope it is just an oversight, I used to get so frustrated when fees would jump that much between seasons!

 

[dsneprincess]

I am so glad for all the smart sane advice here. We do not pay for grades, they are expected. Other kids get paid good for them. DS12 doesn't have a phone, no activities that aren't on school grounds & there is a phone there in teachers room to use. We have an uncool home phone still, use that!! The jump in soccer fees is crazy! Although, I wish ds could still play, (all outside school end at 6th grade, whether you make school team or not which is kindof sad) I may just go put that extra $200 I just "saved" into savings! I love the pinterest saying.
I am glad to see that I am not the only house that has rules. I swear, most of the people around us either don't have them or don't enforce them. Either way is bad. BTW, it was other parents that told me "no time or interest to police the devices" I am like the mom with the iphone that had her son sign the contract & hand over ever night, except I keep the 3ds, & itouch in my control. No tv in bedroom either. He has a friend whose mom says he doesn't sleep at night, but plays games & watches tv (she says Storage Wars & Pawn Stars for learning?, ds says kid has seen every Family Guy episode she says he doesn't watch). She then wonders why my ds is on honor roll & hers isn't. Can you see why my perception is skewed a little? ROTFL!!!
On thread, I am hoping for a no-buy weekend, which is unrealistic because it is DHs weekend off, so I am going to go low buy. There will be no clutter purchased & hopefully a LOT of purging here. I made some progress in that area & things are going, not coming!! I am determined! Oh yeah, & the Christmas lights HAVE to be dug out of the snow while we are at a lull. I know there is more coming......it's out there.....

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

1/8- $0
1/9- Fred Meyer $9.54 groceries $41.58 kid stuff (ds snowpants on clearance-should get 2 years out of them, undies for the DD's and a pair of leggings for DD#2 all on clearance) went looking for crocs for DS I got some last year for $5 and he loves them. Safeway- $62.12 more meat and pasta $0.50 a box. Gas was $2.99 a gallon with my rewards -$58.99 and a $66 dollar trip to J's (but it was all business stuff, cant cut out things without mats and blades)
1/10-$0
1/11
1/12
1/13

Bummer about those fees! DD#2 has decided that she would like to try Hockey- but first we must learn to Hockey skate.... so.much.fun.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Whew!! The fees are the same as I budgeted!! !!! The form email doesn't distinguised between the season in case someone is playing and needs a uniform..
So, I will take care of them next Friday with the regular bills...

We have no TVs in the kids' rooms here... we are the worst parents ever.. DD was so excited when she found out she could have one in her college dorm.. LOL You would have thought she hit the lottery!


Oh learning to hockey skate should be fun!! Good Luck!!

Ok, I'm off to bed.. it's late... the boys have to go to school and we have to get DD's car loaded to return to school.