Amy18
Eternal DISnerd
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2012
LOL! I'm right there with you! My family and co-workers are telling me to put my big girl panties on and suck it up!
I am just not myself right now
DH keeps trying to console me, but I keep telling him "don't, just don't"
I don't think I am going to feel better until I have a good cry and unload.
But I am not there yet. Still angry.
I feel very disappointed in myself right now, and like I let my family down. Hubby was already fantasizing about what trip we would choose for the MP compensation. I told him not to jump the gun, that the odds were not in my favor, but he was just certain I had it.
I am just feeling very inadequate, like they didn't see in me what others did.
I was told my passion "oozes right out of me".
Apparently, I am just not good enough.
Not a pity party at all. Just feeling like that is reality for me. It has been a very rough year, cancer, some other very serious illnesses, and I have my third surgery in the past year next Wednesday. So I just feel like I have been dealt a S$%T hand in life. I know it could be so much worse. I was just praying that getting on the MP would be the "break" that I needed, the one positive thing to come out of this year, heck - the past 6 years.
Now I have 6 more vacations to plan for friends and family the next two weeks, I promised I would do it and make it fantastic. But my heart is just not in it right now. I think I will take a few days to find that passion again, and then get back to it.
Congrats again to all the Round 3's, I am truly happy and excited for you guys, and I will be here to cheer you on! I can't wait to hear all about the rest of your journey, and I just know some of you are going to make the MP for sure!