The daily mail is not exactly the most newsworthy paper. In fact any story I read I usually check with other sources but I have never seen an article written by a "journalist" that has shocked or disgusted me as much as this woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTIWWupaaZE
I have a very good friend, whom I will call Chris. We have been close since our teens. I trust Chris absolutely, as one of the most truthful people I know. So I know for a certainty that everything Chris has told me is true.
Chris and I have another friend whom Ill call Peter. We knew Peter independently: we are part of the same circle of friends.
Before I knew either of them, Peter acted in many ways like a father to Chris whose own father was often absent. I always suspected the relationship was controlling. Peter objected strongly to Chriss marriage, though it was to someone with whom Chris is still very happy.
Peter was so angry about their relationship continuing after he had forbidden it that for some years he broke off all contact.
In the light of subsequent events, I suspect Peter never intended Chris to marry. There was a sense in which he had groomed Chris to stay single.
Long ago, Chris told me that there had also been sexual abuse. It wasnt described as such the account was matter-of-fact, almost as if there was nothing wrong but that is certainly what it was. It was conducted as a discipline: if Chris did or didnt behave in a certain way, there would be sexual acts required to be performed.
Chris was a minor; Peter many years older. He was then, and to some extent still is, in a position of authority over other teenagers. I dont suppose for a moment that Chris was his only victim.
Peters conduct is ironic, given that he publicly disapproves of both sex outside marriage and homosexual civil partnerships.
Why on earth didnt I urge my friend to go to the police? The really shocking thing is, it simply never occurred to me. And, to be more honest than I am at all comfortable with, it is still almost unthinkable. I come back to the question again. Why?
Wall of silence: Savile's abuse was apparently an open secret, so why did no one act on warnings or report his abuse, thus preventing more vulnerable children becoming victims? (Posed by model)
The first and only decent reason is because of my love for my friend. It never occurred to Chris to report the incidents. I was not told about them with this purpose in mind. So it would be an extreme violation of friendship and confidence to do so on my own initiative, and I will never do this without Chriss permission.
But this still begs the question, why has Chris not done so? And what are the other reasons that prevented me from even thinking of it? Because of who Peter is. He is a member of a very highly regarded profession. Many people look up to him, and would acknowledge the benefit they derive from his work. To expose him would be devastating to an entire community.
I know, I know; this is no reason at all. I am not attempting to excuse myself, but merely explain. When Peter dies I have little doubt there will be a thousand mourners at his memorial, giving tribute to his beneficial influence. And what he has done for young people as well as for adults. Just like Jimmy Savile.
So what? These were criminal acts. Surely there is nothing for me to be afraid of? Oh, but there is. Many would perhaps question my motives, if I said anything; still more, my veracity. I can picture it now: friends Ive known for decades saying to me: It cant have been you, surely, who spread this wicked story? What were you thinking?
Of course, social disapproval pales into insignificance compared with what Peter has done. He has perpetrated considerable harm. I know other victims of his though I cannot be sure of any other criminal activity.
One friend walked away from a man she was very much in love with, who was very much in love with her: I heard various explanations for the split, from mutual friends.
A year or two ago I asked her myself, and heard the true reason: There were three people in our relationship. The third was Peter. Her boyfriend was so under his control she decided she couldnt compete. He has only recently got engaged, in middle age, over two decades later.
Another friend was also under Peters influence as a teenager, at the same time as Chris. He was later dismissed from his job for an inappropriate sexual relationship with a school pupil.
Held in high regard: The alleged abuser, whose identity is protected, is in a position of authority and a member of a highly regarded profession. (Posed by model)
Is there a connection? Our eldest daughter, in her 20s who knows the full story certainly considers it possible. She believes Peter should be behind bars. A few months ago, she asked me if I thought he was still a risk to young people.
I dont know, I said honestly, after much consideration. I dont think so. But how can you ever be sure? How indeed. And is it the point, anyway?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTIWWupaaZE
I have a very good friend, whom I will call Chris. We have been close since our teens. I trust Chris absolutely, as one of the most truthful people I know. So I know for a certainty that everything Chris has told me is true.
Chris and I have another friend whom Ill call Peter. We knew Peter independently: we are part of the same circle of friends.
Before I knew either of them, Peter acted in many ways like a father to Chris whose own father was often absent. I always suspected the relationship was controlling. Peter objected strongly to Chriss marriage, though it was to someone with whom Chris is still very happy.
Peter was so angry about their relationship continuing after he had forbidden it that for some years he broke off all contact.
In the light of subsequent events, I suspect Peter never intended Chris to marry. There was a sense in which he had groomed Chris to stay single.
Long ago, Chris told me that there had also been sexual abuse. It wasnt described as such the account was matter-of-fact, almost as if there was nothing wrong but that is certainly what it was. It was conducted as a discipline: if Chris did or didnt behave in a certain way, there would be sexual acts required to be performed.
Chris was a minor; Peter many years older. He was then, and to some extent still is, in a position of authority over other teenagers. I dont suppose for a moment that Chris was his only victim.
Peters conduct is ironic, given that he publicly disapproves of both sex outside marriage and homosexual civil partnerships.
Why on earth didnt I urge my friend to go to the police? The really shocking thing is, it simply never occurred to me. And, to be more honest than I am at all comfortable with, it is still almost unthinkable. I come back to the question again. Why?
Wall of silence: Savile's abuse was apparently an open secret, so why did no one act on warnings or report his abuse, thus preventing more vulnerable children becoming victims? (Posed by model)
The first and only decent reason is because of my love for my friend. It never occurred to Chris to report the incidents. I was not told about them with this purpose in mind. So it would be an extreme violation of friendship and confidence to do so on my own initiative, and I will never do this without Chriss permission.
But this still begs the question, why has Chris not done so? And what are the other reasons that prevented me from even thinking of it? Because of who Peter is. He is a member of a very highly regarded profession. Many people look up to him, and would acknowledge the benefit they derive from his work. To expose him would be devastating to an entire community.
I know, I know; this is no reason at all. I am not attempting to excuse myself, but merely explain. When Peter dies I have little doubt there will be a thousand mourners at his memorial, giving tribute to his beneficial influence. And what he has done for young people as well as for adults. Just like Jimmy Savile.
So what? These were criminal acts. Surely there is nothing for me to be afraid of? Oh, but there is. Many would perhaps question my motives, if I said anything; still more, my veracity. I can picture it now: friends Ive known for decades saying to me: It cant have been you, surely, who spread this wicked story? What were you thinking?
Of course, social disapproval pales into insignificance compared with what Peter has done. He has perpetrated considerable harm. I know other victims of his though I cannot be sure of any other criminal activity.
One friend walked away from a man she was very much in love with, who was very much in love with her: I heard various explanations for the split, from mutual friends.
A year or two ago I asked her myself, and heard the true reason: There were three people in our relationship. The third was Peter. Her boyfriend was so under his control she decided she couldnt compete. He has only recently got engaged, in middle age, over two decades later.
Another friend was also under Peters influence as a teenager, at the same time as Chris. He was later dismissed from his job for an inappropriate sexual relationship with a school pupil.
Held in high regard: The alleged abuser, whose identity is protected, is in a position of authority and a member of a highly regarded profession. (Posed by model)
Is there a connection? Our eldest daughter, in her 20s who knows the full story certainly considers it possible. She believes Peter should be behind bars. A few months ago, she asked me if I thought he was still a risk to young people.
I dont know, I said honestly, after much consideration. I dont think so. But how can you ever be sure? How indeed. And is it the point, anyway?
