7 months pregnant and husband having an affair...what now?

[Mkrop]

Wow what a royal jerk!

I am so glad to hear that you are doing well healthwise, and that your mom is coming to get you. Get on that plane, girlfriend and leave him in the dust. he doesnt deserve you or your wonderful son!

Hugs to all of you and if possible please let us know when you are safely in Canada.

 

[DVCJones]

In my rage I forgot to mention, that after reading about him being on the computer, (is this a shared computer?) PLEASE be sure to erase your history and cookies after EVERY time you use it!

 

[CarolAnnC]

Another quick update.

The Dr appointment went well and my Dr told me to go ahead and fly, but to do it sooner rather than later. So my parents are looking for flights right now - we're looking for a nonstop flight so I don't have to worry about a layover. I'm not going to say on here when I'm planning on leaving, just in case, but once I'm in Canada, I will let you guys know I'm there. My mom is flying over the day before and staying in a hotel, that way DH won't know she's here and hopefully won't suspect anything is going on. To be honest, my mom is really coming in case I freak out about leaving and want to stay - I've told her that, no matter how hard it is or how upset I get, she needs to make me get on that flight. I'm going to leave DH a note telling him where I am, contact information and my attorney's information with regard to the money I'm leaving to cover my share of bills.

The cats are going to stay for now - I know DH won't hurt them, he adores them and he's a big animal lover, I'm confident they'll be safe. Additionally to that, my attorney advised against taking things that are considered joint property and, as horrible as it sounds, pets are considered property.

I appreciate people saying how strong I am, but I certainly don't feel it. I manage OK throughout the day, but at night I'm a mess. I got really upset last night when I realized DH would come home to an empty house and no inkling that I would be gone. It reminded me of when we first moved in together and we'd be so excited to come home to each other after work at the end of the day. I just get so sad sometimes that it's truly over

Oh, and obviously, DH didn't move out like he said he would. He's still in the guest room. The other night I needed the laptop to get some work done, and went to ask DH if he had it - he was on Skype with the other girl and when she saw me in the background, she flipped out and started screaming "WHY is SHE here, she needs to LEAVE, I hate her so much, look how fat she's gotten with the baby, she's disgusting." I (stupidly) waited to see if DH might defend me, especially about the fat comments, but his response to her was "it's OK baby, don't let her upset you."

Agree with the PP's who say print this out! In fact give it to your mom to read to you if you start to second guess your decision.

You deserve much better, and you and your baby will have a wonderful future with good things ahead for you both, I really believe this. He is not deserving of you nor your baby. He apparently wants to "raise" a 19 year old instead...

We won't worry here if we do not hear from you, but please check in once you are settled back home so we know you are ok. Keeping you in my prayers...

 

[goofyintoronto]

Re this:

and

Ugh. I think you should write his "it's OK baby, don't let her upset you" sentence down on a piece of paper and anytime you feel like you want to stay you should take that out and reread it.

Still so sorry you are going through this. But it sounds like they both deserve each other, and when you are out of the picture they can go ahead and make each others lives miserable. You just know that's how it will be too. Karma with a capital B.

Love this post! Lol. I was gonna suggest the same thing! write it down and refer to it each time you find yourself missing him. You should be proud of yourself for seeing thru his bull and turning him down when he said he wanted you back. Not many women would do that, pregnant or not. so i gotta give you props for that. you're an incredibly strong woman, stronger than you realize. your doing all the right things.

im so happy to hear youre moving to Canada. Smart thinking about bringing your mom over. thanks for the update. please continue to keep us posted! and be careful with your computer history and cookies! you don't need him finding these posts and discovering your plans!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Oh my! Thanks for the update... I'm so glad that your Mom will be headed this way to make sure you get back safely!!

As for the last paragraph... I voiced a very non-disney word to which I shouldn't have but what a JERK!!! He has some nerve...

You are a very strong woman...and that precious one will appreciate everything you did to protect him from those two worthless individuals.

 

[mrsksomeday]

I believe that everything happens for a reason. You hearing your soon to be ex-husband say"it's OK baby, don't let her upset you" was the universes way of showing you that you are doing the right thing.

You are stronger than you think you are. I am glad your Mom is coming to help. When you are safe let us know.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

In my rage I forgot to mention, that after reading about him being on the computer, (is this a shared computer?) PLEASE be sure to erase your history and cookies after EVERY time you use it!

Yes! If you are sharing you need to erase all the above.


OP, you are a very strong person and you can do this for you and your child. Just remember, you deserve someone who will treat you well and your child well. You will find a loving man who will be a true father to your son. Now, get on that plane and don't look back! Good Luck!

 

[DisneyBelle99]

After reading your latest update, I keep thinking two things:
1) You have a good Mother, she is doing what all good Mothers do. Coming to the side of her child in a time of crisis. God Bless her and you, and your baby!

2) I think a few people have told you Maya Angelou's words, "If someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!" That Skype scene is very telling, those two deserve each other.

You will continue to be in my prayers.

 

[Mary*Poppins]

I've been reading this thread too and haven't commented, I just wanted you to know OP that I've been thinking of you and saying prayers for you and your baby. Remember to take care of yourself and that it's ok to get upset.

 

[LuLuO]

OP I too have been following your updates and just wanted to let you know that I am sending positive thoughts your way. You are a very strong woman with a very bright future ahead for you and your child. Take care of yourself.

 

[Fly4free]

After reading your latest update, I keep thinking two things:
1) You have a good Mother, she is doing what all good Mothers do. Coming to the side of her child in a time of crisis. God Bless her and you, and your baby!

2) I think a few people have told you Maya Angelou's words, "If someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!" That Skype scene is very telling, those two deserve each other.

You will continue to be in my prayers.

You are very strong and also a good mother. I'm so happy to hear your mom is coming to help you. Stay strong, you are doing the right thing! Will be praying for a safe trip for you. God bless!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

After reading your latest update, I keep thinking two things:
1) You have a good Mother, she is doing what all good Mothers do. Coming to the side of her child in a time of crisis. God Bless her and you, and your baby!

2) I think a few people have told you Maya Angelou's words, "If someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!" That Skype scene is very telling, those two deserve each other.

You will continue to be in my prayers.

Amen!

 

[SallySkelington]

Just read the latest update OP.

Please know that you are strong, you may not feel it but you are. I would have busted that man in his jaw for telling me all that BS he told you and then watching him turn around and cower at that child's feet on skype.
You ARE strong.

Sending so much love and happy thoughts to you and your baby.

 

[Fly4free]

OP, one more thing to think about, can you have an OB lined up before you arrive in CA? Your mom can probably ask around for you. I'm sure your'd feel better having that out of the way, if possible, before your arrival.

Safe travels.

 

[minniecarousel]

....and of course you're sad. You had a life once with this man - you were happy together at some point. He changed. But that's all behind you now. You've seen his true colors.

Hang in there. A lot of us here are praying for you and your baby. Remember that (seems wierd though, doesn't it - strangers caring?!)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thinking of you OP! Many hugs and STAY SAFE!!!

 

[SLCborn]

Thanks for the update OP! I'm sitting here today with many mixed emotions...it was 9 years ago today that my now ex moved out. I still get sad but I have decided that I'm not sad that he's gone I'm actually just sad and miss what I thought I had for all of those years.

Hang in there and I'm so glad your mom is coming to help you. As for the last comment in your post I found that the way my now ex husband coped with all that he had done was to deflect everything to me, make me feel like the bad guy, make me feel guilty for being me. In truth it was his own shortcomings that made him say,do,act the way he was.

Go home with your parents, have that beautiful baby and know that you are an amazing person and a strong mother!!

 

[Lynne M]

OP, just some random thoughts....

Loved the Maya Angelou quote from a PP...that Skype episode showed you exactly who he is, loud and clear. A complete, utter failure as a husband and a man. Always remember that. This is his failure, not yours.

You mentioned that you feel horrible that he chose her over you. As hard as this is to believe right now, it's not really about you. It's about his weakness, his inability to be a responsible husband, father and adult. He chose her because she's easy. There's no responsibility, no baby on the way that has to be cared for and has to be provided for. No adult relationship to maintain. She makes him feel like he's back in high school, where nothing matters but having fun.

And she reassures him that he's still "got it", and probably thinks that all his guy friends are impressed that he's got this hot teenager. I dunno, a friend's (now ex-) husband did pretty much the same thing and his friends were mortified and thought he was an idiot. Most of them have dropped him; he's an embarrassment.

Remember, too, that you have nowhere to go but forward. You're going to have a happy, successful life with your beautiful baby, and you're going to meet a wonderful guy who'll cherish you both. Your man-child ex, on the other hand, is going to have a series of increasingly pathetic flings with high school and college girls. He'll be the guy in his forties hanging out at the bar with the coeds, who'll be laughing at him behind his back.

You don't want to let yourself be consumed by anger, it's not good for you or the baby. But right now, let the anger give you the strength you need to end this. When you worry about him coming home to an empty house, remember the voice of his little friend calling you disgusting....and him not defending you. He's not worrying about you for one minute.....don't you waste any time worrying about him.

Best of luck to you....it's going to get better, I promise.

 

[Heidict]

I haven't posted until now, but have been following the thread since the beginning.

So glad to see that heading back to Canada, doing what is best for yourself and your son. I am 7 months pregnant myself and can't imagine what you are going through. I would be beyond devastated. It must seem so overwhelming. It sounds like you have wonderful and supportive parents though.

 

[Kewz1]

I've been reading this thread too and haven't commented, I just wanted you to know OP that I've been thinking of you and saying prayers for you and your baby. Remember to take care of yourself and that it's ok to get upset.

Same here! Stay strong, OP. It sounds like you have a great family who will help you.
Praying for you and your precious little one.

Kristen