Kids and prank calls - would you call the other parents?

[goofyintoronto]

Prank calling is, to me, the minor issue. Grabbing someone else's property is more serious. You want to prank call from your own phone? Fine. You want to get someone else in trouble for it? Not so fine. And if the kid had broken the cell phone? Still no big deal?

Tell the parents. For all you know, this may not be the first problem. Since the kid is 11, the parents still have time to nip problems in the bud.

yes totally agree! This kid needs a lesson in manners.

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[SweetJoy]

I'm not defending the parent driver, but what did you expect him to do? Should he have pulled the car over and grabbed the phone out of the kids hand? Should he have done that as he was driving a van full of other people's kids?
If it were me, I would have told him to knock it off and give the phone back, but if it wasn't my kid there would be nothing I could do to make him do that. I would mention it to his parent when they picked him up or I dropped him off, and let them deal with him.

OP, did your ds say the driver told him to stop, or did he say he did absolutely nothing?

I asked my son and he said that the driver didn't say anything. He also said that he was telling his friend 'give it back' loud enough that the parent could intervene on his behalf, because at this point that's what my son wanted.

I would call the parent, as noted in a "Just wanted you to know" type way. They're at an age where "boys will be boys" pranks can escalate easily and quickly into bullying, sexting, and other troublesome electronic behaviors. (No, I'm not saying that this behavior will always escalate, or that every boy who does this will become a bully or a serial killer. But these are things that parents need to keep an eye on.)

Prank calling is, to me, the minor issue. Grabbing someone else's property is more serious. You want to prank call from your own phone? Fine. You want to get someone else in trouble for it? Not so fine. And if the kid had broken the cell phone? Still no big deal?

Tell the parents. For all you know, this may not be the first problem. Since the kid is 11, the parents still have time to nip problems in the bud.

This is what my husband's problem with the situation is, right there. The fact that the boy grabbed the phone and wouldn't give it back - plus the fact that one of the persons pranked happened to call the phone back. When I asked DS what the person said, he didn't know, because he still didn't have the phone back yet.

 

[teacup princess]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would not be calling the kids parents or the adult driver. Kids think prank calling at that age is funny. Definately not something to get worked up over. Yeah, the kid should have given the phone back when asked. It's a great lesson that you've taught your child to be more assertive with his property, but it's not your job to tell the other parents what lessons you think they should be teaching their child. Nor do I think it's your job to reprimand the driver for in retrospect not acting like you would have in that situation.

No one's safety was at risk. If some kids parents called me to reprimand me for such a minor situation, I'd think they were an overprotective loon and I'd be steering my kid away from any future interaction with their child.

 

[Hannathy]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would not be calling the kids parents or the adult driver. Kids think prank calling at that age is funny. Definately not something to get worked up over. Yeah, the kid should have given the phone back when asked. It's a great lesson that you've taught your child to be more assertive with his property, but it's not your job to tell the other parents what lessons you think they should be teaching their child. Nor do I think it's your job to reprimand the driver for in retrospect not acting like you would have in that situation.

No one's safety was at risk. If some kids parents called me to reprimand me for such a minor situation, I'd think they were an overprotective loon and I'd be steering my kid away from any future interaction with their child.

Thank You that is what I said also.

I really don't get the way over the top reaction to a few prank calls!

And OP did your son say Hey Mr Z, Billy took my phone, please tell him to give it back? When I'm driving kids I would ignore them just saying to each other "hey give me my phone" I don't interfere with kids until I"m asked, they need to work things out among themselves at that age.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would not be calling the kids parents or the adult driver. Kids think prank calling at that age is funny. Definately not something to get worked up over. Yeah, the kid should have given the phone back when asked. It's a great lesson that you've taught your child to be more assertive with his property, but it's not your job to tell the other parents what lessons you think they should be teaching their child. Nor do I think it's your job to reprimand the driver for in retrospect not acting like you would have in that situation.

No one's safety was at risk. If some kids parents called me to reprimand me for such a minor situation, I'd think they were an overprotective loon and I'd be steering my kid away from any future interaction with their child.

 

[Disneyland1084]

I'd let it go this time, unless it keeps up. Good thing in my days of prank calling, there was no *69 or caller ID.

 

[shortbun]

what the hell? what is wrong with that parent? I would not allow that to happen. How he or she can sit there and say nothing is beyond me. I wonder what else this kid gets away with at home!? in this case, you bet I would call the parent and ask why he or she allowed this to happen with your sons phone, why didn't he/she step in. ridiculous!

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This-this is the parent I would call. Ask them about the incident. Tell them the pranked people called back on your son's phone and HE is in trouble. Ask the parent what he or she thought was going on. They, the parent driving, are idiots. Any parent not calling for good behavior from 11yo children should not be allowed to supervise your child again.

 

[shortbun]

Thank You that is what I said also.

I really don't get the way over the top reaction to a few prank calls!

And OP did your son say Hey Mr Z, Billy took my phone, please tell him to give it back? When I'm driving kids I would ignore them just saying to each other "hey give me my phone" I don't interfere with kids until I"m asked, they need to work things out among themselves at that age.

A cell phone is an expensive item and as an adult, you should step in. It's not like it's a mechanical pencil or knit cap. As an adult, you just say, 'cut the crap boys, give the phone back now.' Then instruct the owner to put the phone away and not get it out again, firmly. 11 yo boys need guidance and boundaries. They take lack of supervision as permission to have bad behavior.
As someone who has had charge of as many as 65 kids at one time, over and over, they respond best to rules. In the end, they actually like knowing bullying will not be tolerated. Would you just throw them in a pen and let them fight it out? Sounds like it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm not defending the parent driver, but what did you expect him to do? Should he have pulled the car over and grabbed the phone out of the kids hand? Yes . Should he have done that as he was driving a van full of other people's kids? No, he should have, as you said, pulled the car over and taken the phone from his son and taken control of the situation. If it were me, I would have told him to knock it off and give the phone back, but if it wasn't my kid there would be nothing I could do to make him do that. Sure you could. You could stop the car and embarrass the heck out of the kid. I would mention it to his parent when they picked him up or I dropped him off, and let them deal with him.

OP, did your ds say the driver told him to stop, or did he say he did absolutely nothing?

It doesn't matter whether it's his kid or not. He is the adult in charge of the children.

Any child that i was ever responsible for was made it understand that I was in charge and therefore I make the rules while they are with me.

But I wouldn't be calling the other kid's parents. In the grand scheme of things a couple of prank phone calls is no biggie. I'd also be thinking twice about letting my kid go with this parent who can't seem to control some 11 year old boys in a car.

 

[Hannathy]

A cell phone is an expensive item and as an adult, you should step in. It's not like it's a mechanical pencil or knit cap. As an adult, you just say, 'cut the crap boys, give the phone back now.' Then instruct the owner to put the phone away and not get it out again, firmly. 11 yo boys need guidance and boundaries. They take lack of supervision as permission to have bad behavior.
As someone who has had charge of as many as 65 kids at one time, over and over, they respond best to rules. In the end, they actually like knowing bullying will not be tolerated. Would you just throw them in a pen and let them fight it out? Sounds like it.

I'm not listening to everything they say!!! for heavens sake they were probably in the back and who listens to all their yacking?

Seriously you listen intently to all the conversation going on in your car when you take kids? I can guarantee you won't be the preferred mode of transportation as they get older.

Again I ask if the OP's son asked the parent to intervene? I'm not butting into 2 boys squabbling over something, sorry.

And I don't need a lecture on supervising kids. a school group etc is a lot different than a few boys in my car.

 

[SweetJoy]

I'm not listening to everything they say!!! for heavens sake they were probably in the back and who listens to all their yacking?

Seriously you listen intently to all the conversation going on in your car when you take kids? I can guarantee you won't be the preferred mode of transportation as they get older.

Again I ask if the OP's son asked the parent to intervene? I'm not butting into 2 boys squabbling over something, sorry.

And I don't need a lecture on supervising kids. a school group etc is a lot different than a few boys in my car.

No, unfortunately my son didn't ask the other parent to intervene. That's one of the things we had a long talk about - asserting himself and saying "Mr. So-and-so, xxxx has my phone and is making prank calls with it. I've asked for it and he won't give it back". My DS thought that by saying 'give it back' loudly a few times, the other parent would step in. Honestly if I were the driver - I would have. I have no problem telling misbehaving kids to knock it off.
I mentioned earlier in the thread that the boy with the phone took a short video clip of the hijinks - you can hear my son demanding the phone back and the boy - who is in the front seat - laughing. I would imagine (from what I saw) that this would have been very distracting to the driver. At any rate, I'm not going to call the other boy's mom. Hopefully a lesson learned for my son!

 

[teacup princess]

A cell phone is an expensive item and as an adult, you should step in. It's not like it's a mechanical pencil or knit cap. As an adult, you just say, 'cut the crap boys, give the phone back now.' Then instruct the owner to put the phone away and not get it out again, firmly. 11 yo boys need guidance and boundaries. They take lack of supervision as permission to have bad behavior.
As someone who has had charge of as many as 65 kids at one time, over and over, they respond best to rules. In the end, they actually like knowing bullying will not be tolerated. Would you just throw them in a pen and let them fight it out? Sounds like it.

Do you really think it is this other parents job to guard a child's expensive electronic equipment? Maybe this parent felt it was a greater use of his attention to focus on the ROAD and protect the LIVES of his passengers rather than focus on some stupid cell phone that he probably didn't know the kid had anyway. If you give a child an expensive electronic device then you're taking a risk that it's going to get broken or misused. If he brought it with him then it's his responsibility to use it properly and protect it.

 

[SweetJoy]

Do you really think it is this other parents job to guard a child's expensive electronic equipment? Maybe this parent felt it was a greater use of his attention to focus on the ROAD and protect the LIVES of his passengers rather than focus on some stupid cell phone. If you give a child an expensive electronic device that's then you're taking a risk that it's going to get broken or misused. If he brought it with him then it's his responsibility to use it properly and protect it.

I agree with this. The boy who took the phone is the 'leader' and my son the 'follower' in this friendship, and I want my son to develop the tools to change that dynamic. Maybe this was a good thing, if he learns to deal with it a different way next time.

 

[codimouse]

I would want to know if my child was not acting appropriately.

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[TEENEE]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would not be calling the kids parents or the adult driver. Kids think prank calling at that age is funny. Definately not something to get worked up over. Yeah, the kid should have given the phone back when asked. It's a great lesson that you've taught your child to be more assertive with his property, but it's not your job to tell the other parents what lessons you think they should be teaching their child. Nor do I think it's your job to reprimand the driver for in retrospect not acting like you would have in that situation.

No one's safety was at risk. If some kids parents called me to reprimand me for such a minor situation, I'd think they were an overprotective loon and I'd be steering my kid away from any future interaction with their child.

I couldn't have said it better.

 

[Hannathy]

I agree with this. The boy who took the phone is the 'leader' and my son the 'follower' in this friendship, and I want my son to develop the tools to change that dynamic. Maybe this was a good thing, if he learns to deal with it a different way next time.

Exactly! That is what childhood and growing up should be learning, and trial and error. Except we have taken that away from kids now by solving all their problems and never letting them learn to solve them on their own.

Your son has learned a lot more from this that will serve him the rest of his life than if the other parent would have told the kid to give it back.

Problem solving is learned and developed not an automatic.

Later in life it could be the keys from a friend to drunk to drive! and he will know what to do.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our yard was tp'd last night, and ds14 saw who did it. It's a prank - I'm not calling the parent, I'm not mad at all. Now, if the calls involved personal threats or vulgar language, then I might say something. But if he just asked if their refridgerator was running? Yes, I know I'm dating myself with that!

 

[luvmy3]

It doesn't matter whether it's his kid or not. He is the adult in charge of the children.

Any child that i was ever responsible for was made it understand that I was in charge and therefore I make the rules while they are with me.

But I wouldn't be calling the other kid's parents. In the grand scheme of things a couple of prank phone calls is no biggie. I'd also be thinking twice about letting my kid go with this parent who can't seem to control some 11 year old boys in a car.

Okay, that is you but not every parent would do the same. I would not pull my car over and I wouldn't grab the phone from the kid's hand. I would let their parent know and let their parent deal with them. I'd probably mention it to the parent of the phone owner so they can deal with it the way they want. I just don't see it as that big of a deal, like someone said its not like someone was getting beat up in the car.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I'm not listening to everything they say!!! for heavens sake they were probably in the back and who listens to all their yacking?

Seriously you listen intently to all the conversation going on in your car when you take kids? I can guarantee you won't be the preferred mode of transportation as they get older.

Yes i actually do listen to what the kids are talking about in the car. Its not hard. We're all in the same vehicle. I have intervened when my son and his friend had a disagreement in the car. Not always mind you. I like to see how he handles the situation himself. but there have been times when it was necessary (his friend was being very inappropriate).

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[Disney Doll]

I wonder when parents stoppped being parents?