Inheritance advice needed :(

[joolz1910]

When my Mum died, she left her house to me and my brother. My brother doesn't want to sell the house (because he lives there) and I want to sell it because the money from the sale would (hopefully) pay my mortgage off.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? What did you do?

My brother isn't in a position to buy me out as he hasn't worked in 12 years.

 

[lmbcdb]

He needs to pay you off or sell the house. He is getting use out of the inheritance you and you are not. Maybe you need to get some legal help?

 

[joolz1910]

He needs to pay you off or sell the house. He is getting use out of the inheritance you and you are not. Maybe you need to get some legal help?

I am thinking that too. I have told him that I will not bring up the subject of selling the house for a few months to give him time to come to terms with it. He says that by selling the house, I will be making him homeless. He has lived rent-free with my parents for his entire life, so this is a reality check for him! He is 38.

 

[lmbcdb]

I am thinking that too. I have told him that I will not bring up the subject of selling the house for a few months to give him time to come to terms with it. He says that by selling the house, I will be making him homeless. He has lived rent-free with my parents for his entire life, so this is a reality check for him! He is 38.

He hasn't worked in 12 years and lives rent free? How does he buy food and pay utilities?

You won't be leaving him homeless. He can take his share of the money and get an apartment and a job. Not your responsibility to take care of a 38 year old.

 

[jen_uk]

I don't want to sound harsh but I think that at 38 your brother finally needs to grow up! He cannot expect to continue to live rent free, its amazing that he has managed to go so long in life doing so already. He needs to either sell the house or take out a mortgage and buy you out. Don't let him guilt trip you into letting him stay rent free. Hope you get it sorted

 

[joolz1910]

He hasn't worked in 12 years and lives rent free? How does he buy food and pay utilities?

You won't be leaving him homeless. He can take his share of the money and get an apartment and a job. Not your responsibility to take care of a 38 year old.

He has never had to pay for anything - my Mum paid. He is starting to worry about paying bills because he is having to dip into his savings. We are so different. I left home at 18 and have ALWAYS stood on my own two feet, he has done the opposite. I think I will have to sue him to force the sale.

I don't want to sound harsh but I think that at 38 your brother finally needs to grow up! He cannot expect to continue to live rent free, its amazing that he has managed to go so long in life doing so already. He needs to either sell the house or take out a mortgage and buy you out. Don't let him guilt trip you into letting him stay rent free. Hope you get it sorted

You are not being harsh - my brother is a free-loader. He suffers from depression, so the whole family has always treated him with kid gloves. I worry that he will run the house into the ground. When my Mum died, he actually considered getting a cleaner. That is the level of idiocy I am dealing with lol.

 

[queendisney]

Its all a legal mine field...you have to get legal help on this one. Surely his half of the house will buy him a flat somewhere, hopefully in walking distance to the job centre! Hope you get it sorted. Its a difficult situation for you though as its your brother. The thought that popped into my mind was if he starts paying the bills and running up debts are you legally responsible for half of them as it is legally half your house?

 

[joolz1910]

Its all a legal mine field...you have to get legal help on this one. Surely his half of the house will buy him a flat somewhere, hopefully in walking distance to the job centre! Hope you get it sorted. Its a difficult situation for you though as its your brother. The thought that popped into my mind was if he starts paying the bills and running up debts are you legally responsible for half of them as it is legally half your house?

That is something I am worried about. There is a small mortgage on the property and my brother was thinking about borrowing on it. I contacted the building society and they said that he couldn't do that. Thank goodness.

I worry that he will run up debts, not pay bills etc. I told him that he could live off the money that our parents left him. His reply? Mum and Dad didn't leave that money so that I could pay bills!

I am giving him until the end of November as I want the house on the market in the new year. If he still stonewalls me, I will pay a solicitor to deal with it. I've seen this coming for many years, I always knew it would be inevitable

 

[queendisney]

That is something I am worried about. There is a small mortgage on the property and my brother was thinking about borrowing on it. I contacted the building society and they said that he couldn't do that. Thank goodness.

I worry that he will run up debts, not pay bills etc. I told him that he could live off the money that our parents left him. His reply? Mum and Dad didn't leave that money so that I could pay bills!

I am giving him until the end of November as I want the house on the market in the new year. If he still stonewalls me, I will pay a solicitor to deal with it. I've seen this coming for many years, I always knew it would be inevitable

oh dear he really does need a reality check doesn't he. Its such a shame when it comes to this with a sibbling. I know what you mean about you could see it coming, we are going to have problems like that in the future too and I seem to be the only one that can see it..DH and his sister just won't approach their mum about her will...its gonna cost them (and me) a lot of heartache and money in the future.
I hope you brother sees sense by November but sort of think by what you've said that its not gonna happen...

 

[joolz1910]

oh dear he really does need a reality check doesn't he. Its such a shame when it comes to this with a sibbling. I know what you mean about you could see it coming, we are going to have problems like that in the future too and I seem to be the only one that can see it..DH and his sister just won't approach their mum about her will...its gonna cost them (and me) a lot of heartache and money in the future.
I hope you brother sees sense by November but sort of think by what you've said that its not gonna happen...

By the time the house goes on the market in January, he will have lived there for 6 months - I think that's plenty of time for him to sort himself out. He hasn't even started looking for somewhere to live, so goodness knows what would happen if it sold quickly.

 

[bazzanoid]

At the end of the day, in the nicest possible way, it's not your problem. The house was left to both of you, you are entitled to do what you like with your half. If that means selling then so be it, he cannot be allowed to simply live there for free as instead of living off your mum's money he's effectively living off yours!!!

His options are: Buy you out, or move out. From a legal point of view you can force the sale, he will be expected by the government to live off his savings, inheritance and house sale, it will be more than sufficient to find somewhere to rent. He can then apply for Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit to cover the majority of those costs but the total cash in the bank will affect what he gets, and rightly so. He needs to move on, move out and get a job like the rest of us adults.

 

[MrRomance]

Legally, he has no option but to buy you out or sell up. Morally, it's a different issue, but I don't see why you should feel in anyway guilty for wanting your share of the property.

I would assume that it will all need to go through probate and once that is settled you can force him to sell. The problem with that is that if he is living there, he'll do everything he can to put off any potential buyer.

It's a difficult situation for sure. Are you in a position to buy him out? That would be your best solution, to buy him out then sell the house and pay off the mortgage on your house and the inherited house.

 

[cherjp]

make sure that all utility bills are changed to his name only , surely then he is liable for them. Get legal advise fast and dont mess around with him you can get the ball rolling now as these things usually end up costing you money and you dont want to waste time. What all the other posters have said is great advice , he is a freeloader and you need to make sure he sorts himself out.

sorry if this sounds harsh , to for having to deal with this.

 

[disneychic2]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mum. Adding to the heartbreak is your brother. If I were you, I wouldn't wait until November. Nothing is going to change by then. He'll just have burrowed in more deeply. I feel as others do that you should get legal council as soon as possible. He would definitely try to submarine a potential buyer. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck.

 

[bazzanoid]

make sure that all utility bills are changed to his name only , surely then he is liable for them. Get legal advise fast and dont mess around with him you can get the ball rolling now as these things usually end up costing you money and you dont want to waste time. What all the other posters have said is great advice , he is a freeloader and you need to make sure he sorts himself out.

sorry if this sounds harsh , to for having to deal with this.

Precisely. Have you written to the council to tell them off your mum's death and that he is now the only resident there? Send that same letter to all the utility co's along with a copy of the death certificate, they will change the details immediately and he will be the only person responsible for the bills. A landlord is not responsible for their tenant's debts, after all, unless his/her name is on the bill as well.

 

[tennisfan]

Have you tried talking to the solicitor who has held the will for you mum? they should be able to give you some advice. Also remember you need to have probate in place before you can put the house on the market.

Its easier & cheaper to do yourself, its around £100 and you have to fill in the forms yourself rather then pay a solicitor £££ to do it for you.

 

[dolphingirl47]

I have only just got home from work and discussed this with my husband, who is a specialist probate lawyer. His first piece of advise was to get a solicitor local to you as soon as possible. He also said that you should start proceedings to quit straightaway as the longer you wait, the harder it will be to bring this to a resolution. Failure to act now could be seen as consent further down the line.

Corinna

 

[joolz1910]

Thank you to everyone for their advice. This is what I have done so far:

I arranged probate, as I realised that we could save money doing it ourselves. We have an appointment to do this on Thursday.

I have insisted that he changed all of the utility bills into his name. I made it clear that he was responsible for all the bills while living there.

Once probate has been granted, the money left to us will be split 50/50. I will also see a solicitor to change the deeds of the house into our joint names.

We will need to decide whether to pay off the mortgage from our inheritance or pay it off once the house is sold.

I will give him until the end of November before I start the ball rolling. I know that nothing will change in that time. I suspect that he will feel even more 'entitled' to the house, which he insists on calling 'my home' to guilt trip me. I jst want to be reasonable, even if he isn't.

In November, I will get the property valued and start the process of clearing the house - which I am absolutely dreading. My Mum and Dad lived there fro 40 years. It is my childhood home.

In January, the house WILL go on the market.

 

[Ware Bears]

I really feel for you - it's hard enough losing a parent without this.

I think you should see a solicitor asap as Corinna recommended. Even if you don't want to set the ball rolling until November (which I can understand as you've got your holiday coming up and you don't want that spoiled by any of this) it'll mean your intentions will have been documented and dated by your solicitor in the event that any delay does cause a problem.

 

[joolz1910]

I really feel for you - it's hard enough losing a parent without this.

I think you should see a solicitor asap as Corinna recommended. Even if you don't want to set the ball rolling until November (which I can understand as you've got your holiday coming up and you don't want that spoiled by any of this) it'll mean your intentions will have been documented and dated by your solicitor in the event that any delay does cause a problem.

Yes, I think I will have to. I think it will get very messy and unpleasant. I need to find out what my legal position is. I'm pretty certain I can force a sale but I wonder how difficult that will prove to do in practise.