Alligator Roadkill Was Just The Beginning!!! Updated 2nd May!!

[Aussiesalad]

Wow! This road trip sounds like a movie.

It really started to feel like one too! Felt like there must be hidden cameras!

It just gets better. I love how you’re in pajamas to boot!

I'm sure the passers by enjoyed the pyjamas too!

This is making me so angry. This all seems so unnecessary and rather bullying.

Yeah, it was a little silly because it was literally the same two questions.
Although I met Josh in a shop- so maybe that doesn't sounds believable to some?

Oh, they were mocking.

Yeahhhh I assumed as much...

Who do you submit a bill to? This is so upsetting. No wonder you moved back to Australia.

I know, they really should have got us new pillows!
Aw no I love America- I miss it so much!
I can tell you now that a roadtrip in Australia is a lot less exciting!

Gack! Not Denny’s again! It’s bringing back painful memories.

And by that you mean wonderful greasy 3 am memories...

Seriously. This could be a movie. It reminds me of that movie After Hours from the 80s.



Would love to know what you were chatting about.

Oh gosh we talked about so much! They were so lovely!!
Some of the topics they brought up were a bit 'un-disboardish' though

Ahh, noticed on your comment that you had a TR link, and I HAD to check it out. So glad I did!

Your adventures sound, I don't wanna say fun, because being searched by border patrol and encountering something straight out of the Hitcher isn't exactly barrels of laughter, so I'll go with memorable!

And now I'm curious to see what happens when you make it into the backwoods of America. (Louisiana and MS) I've lived in both those states and know that they make Texas look like paradise.


I also have to say, I used to joke about road tripping with friends, reading your TR makes me want to spontaneously go on one now!

Aww yay welcome!!!! I'm glad you did too

Haha well it was fun- in the non scary bits! And everything is hilarious in hindsight right? But yes it was very very memorable!!

Yeahh we had some very interesting times in those states.

You should do it! It's the best fun! Just maybe stay off highway 10

Oh my goodness! It sounds like this trip is turning out to be quite an adventure! Car sickness, hitchikers, stretches of nothingness and now a search by border patrol. Are you sure we aren't related because I thought those sorts of "adventures" only happened to our family.

I know!! We had a pretty crazy trip! At least it wasn't boring?
Maybe we are related, weird 'adventures' seem to happen regularly to me!

Hmmmmm....if this picture was taken as you were driving up to the inspection station, I might now understand why you were pulled over!

Haha now the truth comes out
Actually this happened when we were far far away from the inspection station in a victory 'take that' kind of moment. I promise

I just got all caught up, and, um, I love this trip report. So entertaining!

I have to say, I'm extremely jealous of your spontanious road trip. It's those kind of trips that you end up remembering forever, and give you some amazing stories to tell.

Though I have to say, how did you have any energy left for Disney World? I have a hard time recovering after a 5 hour red eye flight!

Can't wait to see what happens next!

It really is a trip we will always remember! I mean who could forget the all this insane stuff! Really made us even closer friends too (near death experiences do that )

Oh we had a day of zombie-ing around our accomodation not even moving or talking- pure recovery mode

I keep checking back for an update i'm withdrawals LOL

Haha later tonight I promise

I'm so IN !!! What a grand adventure you are having already !! Oh eM Gee !! I can't wait to see what happens next

Welcome!! Hooray!!!
Yes the adventures came hard and fast in this trip!
Get the popcorn ready as you're about to find out

Wow, now THIS is entertainment!! I went on a roadtrip with friends 10 hrs each way last week and I thought that was rough (7 people, 1 SUV ) I can't imagine non-stop cross country. The memories are the kind of crazy stuff that I'll remember forever though, just like all of this crazy goodness you've included in this TR so far!!

Mary

Oh my!! 7 people would be insane! We went crazy with 4!

Exactly, we really got the most amazing memories from this trip.
And all these crazy stories we can share forever!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Chapter Four

How To Terrify A Truck Driver And Realllly Test Your Brakes!!

Before I get on with the next update I will clear up a few things about the failing driving schedule that I had worked so hard at.
Now for anyone keeping track Josh had driven 4 hours right at the beginning before becoming quite nauseous and dizzy. Tim had driven 2 hours just after moth city I believe (his shift was cut short for reasons that will soon be explained) and I had driven the rest.
Which means so far I had driven about 16 hours .
One thing I have yet to address is why Bek had not driven yet.
She was as enthusiastic as anything and very happy to drive until she arrived in America and was completely freaked out by the wrong side of the road thing. She attempted to have a few laps in a parking lot the day before we left and she was completely spooked by it. I would never put someone behind the wheel who was terrified, so she was scrapped from the schedule.[

WARNING I also feel the need to put out a warning that this next lot of photos are disgusting. We truly look like we have been in a sweaty car for days and there is no hiding it. We don't usually look like this I promise!

So when we left off we had just shared a hearty 4am meal with some ladies of the night at our favourite middle of the night dinning establishment Denny's.
So at this point after climbing under a table and spitting a drink on myself I realized I should have a little rest from driving. So I tried to have a power nap while Tim drove us through Houston. You know what doesn’t help power naps? Wet dog smelling pillows…
Yeah still a little bitter about that whole ordeal.
Here is a re-enactment we did of the nap when the sun came up as our night photos didn't work!

Anyway I tried to drift off thought about how nice it would be to wake up NOT in Texas!!! Mmmmmmm

I was awoken by the smell of exhaust and also the fact my legs were dripping wet with freezing water!?! I woke up in such a state of confusion it took me a while to process what was going on. I was conscious enough to read a road sign which said….



HOUSTON…



WHAT?????


I checked the time and I had been asleep for about a couple of hours and we had pretty much gone nowhere!!!! We were stuck in early morning traffic and it was bumper to bumper and horrible!!! Tim told me it had been crawling along for a while and just seemed to be getting worse! The sun was coming up and the heat was already insane.

To top it off the air conditioner-which had been on non stop since we left California, had decided it wanted to have a little break and drip water everywhere. Well just on my outstretched legs but still.
It was coming down from kind of behind the glove box?
Not sure if anyone else has ever experienced this- but it was the strangest thing!
So it was decided we would just pull in and have some Starbucks and a morning break while the traffic cleared up.

Morning Josh!

So we crawlled along in traffic for another decade until the next large exit slowly appeared. We also had switched off the air-con due to its incontinence issues so it was pretty much a sauna on wheels at this stage.
Finally after sweating off a couple of pounds we pulled into a complex that had a gas station, a large grocery store and a Starbucks. It was in quite a nice fancy area by the looks of things and it was positively brimming full of smart business yuppy types grabbing their pre work caffeine fix.
We parked and strolled into Starbucks and it was only after we had sat down with our beverages that we realized everyone seemed to be looking at us strangely. Now at first- I am a little ashamed to admit this- I thought it was because they saw our caifornia license plates when we parked out side and so we were the ‘cool’ out of towners…
Yeahhhh it took a couple of minutes before it hit us- we looked terrible… really terrible. We all had oily skin, greasy crazy hair, gross car tripping clothes, bloodshot eyes AND I am fairly sure we had quite a pungent smell surrounding us that was a mix of car sweat and wet dog. And we were quite hyperactive and hysterical due to the lack of sleep and amounts of caffeine.
So yeah, that was most likely why we were attracting stares.
After we had our coffee, we went to fill up the car and use the bathroom.

Now at this stage my coffee had not kicked in and I wandered into the bathroom at the gas station without really paying attention. Well…that wasn’t the ladies. It was only a few steps in when I literally crashed into a truck driver. He let off a high pitched yelp, but in a manly truck driverish way and I full out screamed in his face. Then we both stood there for a second before I slowly backed out of the door and turned back towards the ladies. Now this situation is quite strange because Bek and I were walking right next to each other into the bathroom area . So I still don’t know 1. How I veered off into the male toilets and 2. Why she didn’t stop me or say anything? Apparently she thought I was after a change of bathroom scenery

At least scaring the truck driver really woke me up, even moreso than the Starbucks.

So we were back on our road.

The rest of Texas was fairly mundane.

Until we hit the border into Louisiana!!

Then we had a leaving Texas party. We screamed and yelled and ‘hoorayed’ and threw confetti (read clothes and rubbish) in the air in celebration!!!! YEHAWWWWWW!

So the next state we hit was Louisiana. Now not too far in we went on a ridculously long bridge that went over a mass of water (once again feel free to chime in with names)

It was really pretty BUT the animals from this water seemed to be on some sort of suicidal mission as they seemed to be literally crawling out of the water and onto the road. Like the old school video game with the frog crossing the road…Froggit? We saw some tires on the road ahead and went to swerve. Then they stuck their heads out...turtles??? Just chillin in the middle of a 6 lane freeway. BRAKKEEEE!!! It literally was a turtle suicide pact or that’s at least what it felt like.
So this is when we had a few more issues arise with Tim’s driving and he was quite promptly ‘banned’ for lack of a better word. Firstly within a few minutes of Tim being in Louisiana, he hit a large turtle. Ugghhh Tim

Now this would have been more acceptable if it was a small turtle in the middle of the road. But it wasn’t, it was large..and right at the edge. There were tears from all of us. I won't go into it, but it was strike one against Tim’s driving. As well as the fact he couldn't figure out the cruise control (he literally would get so annoyed at the cruise control button he would be yelling at it and smashing his hands on the wheel at the same time), he almost hit another few animals, and he seemed to really enjoy driving along that bumpy line that warns you you're going off the road. oh Tim we love you, just not your driving. His driving was quite erratic and unpredictable and there were far too many animal fatalities! So after all these incidents Bek and Josh both whispered to me that they couldn’t really relax with Tim driving and if I could just do a little bit more they would be more than appreciative.
So we pulled over and switched and then continued down this road (aka turtle suicide alley) trying to keep to casualties to a minimum. We drove along with Tim and I chatting the front and Bek and Josh sleeping in the back. Suddenly something caught both of our eyes on the road ahead, as we went past it I couldn’t believe my eyes. What the heck? "Was that an alligator????" Tim screamed "yes!!!!!!" I screamed back.
Just picture this guy- but halved.

So maybe for people who live in areas where you see alligators that wouldn't be a big deal but for a Californian and an Australian it was. Ok so maybe it was more like 3/4 of an alligator as it had already met a sticky end via a semi trailer but nonetheless he was a big boy it was pretty much on of the most interesting piece of roadkill I have seen on a road.

Next up

THE Most Awkward Bathroom Experience And Trust Falls!!

 

[cheekypoppins]

OMG I'm not alone LOL,I too have accidentally walked in the mens room......I was at walmart with my bestie and she also went into the right one!!!I walked into the mens room Right past the urinals not even thinking,then after when I was washing my hands I happened to look in the mirror and noticed urinals behind me!!! I burst out laughing so much i had tears in my eyes.my friend had walked back into the ladies room to see what I was so hysterical about only I wasn't in there ofcourse.I finished washing and drying my hands and then casually walked out

 

[shan23877]

Wow. I feel terrible for you guys! Border Patrol sounds downright scary, but your description of your friend's outfit had me cracking up.

Ladies of the night huh? Awesome. I'm so glad that Laura sent me over here!

So after Houston you'd slept for 2 hours, and they made you drive again?!? You poor thing.

Love the trucker story

Frogger was one of my favorite video games growing up, not sure I'd like to play a real life version though. That's some road kill!!!

 

[mickeystoontown]

Oh you poor thing, you were so tired that you walked right into the men's restroom! I am sure that you were quite embarassed but at least it made for a funny story.

As a gal from Louisiana, I never really thought about just how many dead animals I see on the side of the road, or in the middle of the road for that matter, on a daily basis. At least you only saw frogs, turtles and a half an alligator. I usually see frogs, beaver, raccoons, squirrels, deer and turtles. When you stop and think about it, I'm surprised there are any animals left in the State of Louisiana.

 

[jedijill]

The 80's video game was Frogger.

You are such a great writer...I totally feel like I'm right there in the hot and sweaty, dog smelling car.

I would freak out about driving in Australia too! You guys drive on the wrong side!

Jill in CO

 

[glennbo123]

WARNING I also feel the need to put out a warning that this next lot of photos are disgusting. We truly look like we have been in a sweaty car for days and there is no hiding it. We don't usually look like this I promise!

When you start writing a trip report, you soon realize that a few warts are going to have to be bared.

Another great chapter!

 

[SoNotAPrincess]

Oh my great freakin' goodness!

OK, I admit that I, too, have wandered mistakenly (as opposed to on purpose) into the men's room. It happens!

Ah, Louisiana wildlife...so sorry you had to see half an alligator. Here in Florida, we are home to Alligator Alley, and it's not uncommon to see gators sunning themselves on the side of the road, and I've had to stop for gator crossing. But I've never seen a partial gator. Grisly!

Even though I know you arrived alive (you are writing a trip report after all), I'm worried about you driving with so little sleep!!

 

[GrimGrinningStitch]

Oh thank god for Starbucks! If I had to drive as much as you did, I would have requested an IV drip of coffee to keep me going. I'm on the borderline of needing that daily as it is. Or maybe just a bearded trucker I continually run into in the most awkward way possible.

Also, the idea of an alligator in the middle of the road is terrifying! I mean, even though it didn't work out well for the gator, I can't imagine driving along and suddenly seeing a prehistoric reptile just hanging out, sunning itself in the middle of the road.

 

[danimaroo]

Okay, I HAVE to comment because I just read all of your updates now and was quite literally laughing out loud at my computer at some of the things that have happened (and got really sad at the turtle death, as they're my favorite animal, but let's just not chat about that!)...

Anyway! This is ridiculously entertaining. I can't believe you guys just decided to drive cross country though... amazing!

GrimGrinningStitch is my husband (aka Matt in my TR/PTRs), and when he heard me laughing over here he kept asking what part I'd just read after I told him I was reading your TR. I died at the pillow/wallet part, and the trucker, hahaha.

Can't wait to read more of your TR!

 

[E-P-C-O-T]

Ok, most entertaining trip report... EVER! and you haven't even arrived at WDW...

 

[teedee]

Another great update! And I am quite sure I hope I NEVER see alligator roadkill!

You're definitely not the only female to ever walk into a men's restroom. I did it on my first day of high school! I am still traumatized!

Terri

 

[Kristi391]

I just found your report and spent the last hour catching up! It is the funniest trip report I have ever read!!! I have been laughing/completely horrified through the entire thing! The wet dog smell on the new pillows kills me!

This is making me want to go on a road trip...but not through Texas!

I can't wait to read more!

 

[eandesmom]

Signing up, this looks like a hoot and a half!

Ok, I'm all caught up and wow. Just wow. I'm traumatized just reading about wet dog on your pillows, murdering roadside crazies and the concept of living on cliff bars, denny's and caffeine. Loving every minute of it!

Driving through Texas sounds a bit like Montana. It goes on, and on and on and on and just when you think you might be done...nope, you are still in Montana. I've done Seattle to Chicago in 3 days, and Chicago to Boston in 2 but confess to sleeping in the car at a rest stop on both trips at least for a few hours. And we thought that was a little crazy.

My question is, though apparently there wasn't the signing involved you might have wished for...does the roadtrip have a soundtrack yet?

 

[Aussiesalad]

Your TR is awesome! It's something I had wanted to do, but never got around to while living in SoCal.

Aw thanks! It really was so much fun!!
Does that mean you live in Hawaii now?
I went there in January and loved it!! ...Although not really big enough for crazy roadtrips I guess?

OMG I'm not alone LOL,I too have accidentally walked in the mens room......I was at walmart with my bestie and she also went into the right one!!!I walked into the mens room Right past the urinals not even thinking,then after when I was washing my hands I happened to look in the mirror and noticed urinals behind me!!! I burst out laughing so much i had tears in my eyes.my friend had walked back into the ladies room to see what I was so hysterical about only I wasn't in there ofcourse.I finished washing and drying my hands and then casually walked out

That is too funny!!!
Sometimes you've just got to keep going and follow through, not leave hastily
Glad I'm not alone!

Wow. I feel terrible for you guys! Border Patrol sounds downright scary, but your description of your friend's outfit had me cracking up.

It was terrifying at the time, but in hindsight it is so funny!
We made fun of Tim's outfit so much! Still to this day, we blame it all on what he wore

Ladies of the night huh? Awesome. I'm so glad that Laura sent me over here!

I'm glad she did too Yeah those ladies sure were something!

So after Houston you'd slept for 2 hours, and they made you drive again?!? You poor thing.

Oh yes, not exactly a wise choice but you will see the consequences of that very shortly...

Love the trucker story

:rotfl: I'm not sure he appreciated someone screaming right at his face first thing in the morning...

Frogger was one of my favorite video games growing up, not sure I'd like to play a real life version though. That's some road kill!!!

I know! Such a great game! I can tell you now that the real life version is a lot less fun...and a lot more crunchy

Oh you poor thing, you were so tired that you walked right into the men's restroom! I am sure that you were quite embarassed but at least it made for a funny story.

You know I don't think I was awake enough to be embarrassed, I was more confused and scared when I came face to face with a big beefy truck driver.

As a gal from Louisiana, I never really thought about just how many dead animals I see on the side of the road, or in the middle of the road for that matter, on a daily basis. At least you only saw frogs, turtles and a half an alligator. I usually see frogs, beaver, raccoons, squirrels, deer and turtles. When you stop and think about it, I'm surprised there are any animals left in the State of Louisiana.

Exactly!! Your state has SO MANY DEAD ANIMALS!!!
It was sad being from Australia too and never seeing most of the animals before. My first experience is when they are roadkill.
It really did feel like they all had a death wish, just crawling onto the road like that! I actually surprised there are any still living too!

 

[Aussiesalad]

The 80's video game was Frogger.

That's right! It's been a while It's not as fun in real life though....

You are such a great writer...I totally feel like I'm right there in the hot and sweaty, dog smelling car.

Awh thanks! That is so sweet. I am glad you are right there with us experiencing the beautiful aroma that is car sweat and wet dog combined...

I would freak out about driving in Australia too! You guys drive on the wrong side!
Jill in CO

Haha I believe it is you guys that drive on the wrong side my friend

When you start writing a trip report, you soon realize that a few warts are going to have to be bared.

Another great chapter

Haha I am discovering this! I saw Bek yesterday for coffee and she pleaded we put a real life update soon with a normal picture of us. To prove that we don't look like hobos ALL the time...

Thanks!!

Oh my great freakin' goodness!

OK, I admit that I, too, have wandered mistakenly (as opposed to on purpose) into the men's room. It happens!

thanks for clarifying! I would be worried if you were doing it on purpose!
But I'm glad I'm not alone!!

Ah, Louisiana wildlife...so sorry you had to see half an alligator. Here in Florida, we are home to Alligator Alley, and it's not uncommon to see gators sunning themselves on the side of the road, and I've had to stop for gator crossing. But I've never seen a partial gator. Grisly!

Yikes that is INSANE!!! That was my one and only gator encounter and it wasn't pretty. That is actually pretty awesome that you've had to stop for a gator crossing! I guess they need more of those crossings in Louisiana...

Even though I know you arrived alive (you are writing a trip report after all), I'm worried about you driving with so little sleep!!

Yeahhhh you'll see what trouble that gets me in very shortly

Oh thank god for Starbucks! If I had to drive as much as you did, I would have requested an IV drip of coffee to keep me going. I'm on the borderline of needing that daily as it is. Or maybe just a bearded trucker I continually run into in the most awkward way possible.

Ahhhh Starbucks literally made the drive soooo much better
If getting an IV drip was an option I would have jumped at the chance!

You know, the trucker worked so much better than the beverage.
Maybe Starbucks can start offering that on their menu? A Truckerchinno?
They can have a trucker that just hides behind the counter and frightens the guests awake for 4.95 a pop?

Also, the idea of an alligator in the middle of the road is terrifying! I mean, even though it didn't work out well for the gator, I can't imagine driving along and suddenly seeing a prehistoric reptile just hanging out, sunning itself in the middle of the road.

Ahhh it was absolutely insane, it was NOT what I was expecting to see at all!

Okay, I HAVE to comment because I just read all of your updates now and was quite literally laughing out loud at my computer at some of the things that have happened (and got really sad at the turtle death, as they're my favorite animal, but let's just not chat about that!)...

Yay I'm so glad you did! It was quite a hilarious trip!!
Oh the turtle was SO sad, that's why I didn't go into it. Me and Bek cried for a while

Anyway! This is ridiculously entertaining. I can't believe you guys just decided to drive cross country though... amazing!

Thanks! It really wasn't planned very well at all...but I guess that's what makes it entertaining!! It was such an experience!!

GrimGrinningStitch is my husband (aka Matt in my TR/PTRs), and when he heard me laughing over here he kept asking what part I'd just read after I told him I was reading your TR. I died at the pillow/wallet part, and the trucker, hahaha.

Awh that is so cute! The pillow and wallet was a miracle!!!!!
I still have no idea how that happened!!!??
And the poor trucker. I just feel bad for screaming so loudly in his face!

Can't wait to read more of your TR!

Thanks!! next chapter should be up shortly!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Ok, most entertaining trip report... EVER! and you haven't even arrived at WDW...

Ever?? Wowzers!
I know, you just wait until we get there!!

Another great update! And I am quite sure I hope I NEVER see alligator roadkill!

Thanks!!! Yeah I wouldn't wish it on anyone! It was massive and so gross

You're definitely not the only female to ever walk into a men's restroom. I did it on my first day of high school! I am still traumatized!

Oh No!!!! That is probably the worst time ever to do it!!! You poor thing!

Terri

I just found your report and spent the last hour catching up! It is the funniest trip report I have ever read!!! I have been laughing/completely horrified through the entire thing! The wet dog smell on the new pillows kills me!

This is making me want to go on a road trip...but not through Texas!

I can't wait to read more!

Yay!! Welcome!!! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!! It was quite a horrifying/hilarious ordeal. I still can't believe how much the pillows smelt! It literally smelt like the dogs had slept on them for days, not just walked on them for a few minutes. Not cool

Haha Texas is fine, just maybe not highway 10!! That is unless you like hours and hours of nothing split up with near death experiences...

Yay- next chapter should be up soon!

Signing up, this looks like a hoot and a half!

Welcome!! I hope you enjoy it!!

Ok, I'm all caught up and wow. Just wow. I'm traumatized just reading about wet dog on your pillows, murdering roadside crazies and the concept of living on cliff bars, denny's and caffeine. Loving every minute of it!

Oh dear, I hope I didn't traumatize you too much!! It was quite a crazy experience. I've never feared for my life so much, and yet laughed so much at the same time! In Australia we don't have cliff bars, Denny's or starbucks... so actually miss those things like crazy now, even after overdosing

Driving through Texas sounds a bit like Montana. It goes on, and on and on and on and just when you think you might be done...nope, you are still in Montana. I've done Seattle to Chicago in 3 days, and Chicago to Boston in 2 but confess to sleeping in the car at a rest stop on both trips at least for a few hours. And we thought that was a little crazy.

Wow that sounds crazy too! Texas was really like that... you keep thinking you're done...but no. NEVER!
I think all the rest stops we passed when we were super tired were really not safe looking at all. Or maybe we were just paranoid from the previous experiences of the trip...?

My question is, though apparently there wasn't the signing involved you might have wished for...does the roadtrip have a soundtrack yet?

Oh good question! I think I go into that in the next chapter.
There is much midnight singing aka screaming at the top of our lungs coming up Everyone knows how important the roadtrip soundtrack is!

 

[LuvindisCruiser]

Oh, I wish I had found this report later, when it was all done.

It is SO hard to wait for the next installment.

This is hilarious, I have been at the Las Cruces border control.
We havn't had to pull over, but it is intimidating !

And, I can smell that wet dog pillow smell every time you mention it. Yuck !

Can't wait for more ! thanks for sharing !

 

[Aussiesalad]

Oh, I wish I had found this report later, when it was all done.

It is SO hard to wait for the next installment.

This is hilarious, I have been at the Las Cruces border control.
We havn't had to pull over, but it is intimidating !

And, I can smell that wet dog pillow smell every time you mention it. Yuck !

Can't wait for more ! thanks for sharing !

Awh thanks!! Sorry to leave you in suspense!

The border control was so scary!! They really gave us a grilling!! We never really found out why either?
Just don't dress like Tim and you should be fine

Ughh the pillows smelt so bad! Its so hard to try and sleep on a wet dog smelling pillow! Seriously not cool

Thanks for reading!! Should have the next bit up later tonight

 

[Aussiesalad]

Chapter Five

THE Most Awkward Bathroom Experience and Trust Falls!

Now would be a good time to mention that, yes I am aware that this is the third bathroom story I have told. No, I do not have any sort of obsession with bathrooms and I get no real thrill from mentioning them so regularly. In my everyday life I rarely tell a bathroom related story! HOWEVER, if you drive this far in one go, bathrooms become a big part of the journey. And a lot of strange things happen which are worth mentioning....

You may notice a lack of proper photos in this update and the next. I can assure you this is for your own safety. If you have ever seen someone that has been in a car non-stop for 3 days, you will understand!

The talk of the alligator roadkill kept us entertained for the next while, making up terrible dad jokes such as a few hundred variations of "why did the alligator cross the road". I kept chugging red bulls and coffee and lollies in good faith that sugar and caffeine was all I needed in life. So on we drove towards our destination ...

We all sang along to broadway and Glee and Disney soundtracks... We sang the classics like Sinatra, and the Beach Boys, The Beatles and we sang along to ‘love song dedications’. We then played a game where we had to try and sing along to the country songs that we had never heard before. We all love singing obnoxiously loudly so this singalong went for hours and hours, all of us belting our hearts out. Except Josh.

I actually really appreciate the fact my husband doesn't sing along to the whole Wicked soundtrack or know all the words to "Part Of Your World" I mean he listens and applauds when I do, what more could a girl want? So on we drove... now we had been stopping approximately every four hours for gas, snacks and bathroom breaks. We stopped at a large gas station somewhere near the New Orleans turn off and when we got out of the car it was the most humid and muggy I have ever felt. It was insane!!!

We decided drinking a large slushhee/slurpee type drink would be the best way to cool down. This quickly escalated into a good old ‘girls vs boys’ battle to chug as fast as we could. Now this is all very well and good, except when you have 4 hours until the next toilet break. It was not our finest hour. By hour one our bladders were almost to the point of busting and there was nothing in site. No turn offs, no gas stations NOTHING! We crossed our legs, we sang ever louder, we talked about non-liquidy topics and tried to keep our minds off the fact we were almost bursting with slushee. It was hopeless, we were going to have to stop!
But where?? We decided to take a risk and veer off highway 10 in hopes of coming across...well anything!! We travelled down a deserted middle of nowhere road. Nothing....Nothing..and then off in the distance we saw the most glorious site! A small old gas station! Hallelujah! I have never been happier to reach one in my life. We screeched into the parking area and rushed to the toilets aaannnnd they were LOCKED! What?
We ran to the door of the shop part…LOCKED!!!
I was fighting back tears! Noooooo! The sign on the door said back in 5 minutes. What? This isn’t Donut King! PEOPLE NEED BATHROOMS!!!!

This was not funny, we were at such a point of desperation!
So Bek and I did what any private school raised young women would do… we decided to …well use the deserted field next to the station for a good cause.
We wandered into the field and looked around for some shrubbery.
When all of a sudden…

“HEYYYYYWHATAREYOUDOING???”

Startled we looked around and there was the gas station attendant walking towards us holding the keys looking at us very suspiciously.
Now not to be crude but our pants were up, no one had squatted. But we were hobbling around in his field, legs crossed with pained looks on our faces, looking at the ground very closely and scoping out suitable areas if worse came to worst. We screamed with joy and ran over to him and squealed some sort of untranslatable version of ‘arggghhhhhwereallyneedtogotothetoiletbutyouwerenthereandweweresoscaredwewouldhavetouseyourfieldbutwewouldneverusuallydothatbecausewearentlikethatandwearesosorrybutCANWEPLEASEHAVEYOURKEYS!???!!!!!!
He let us in and it was a magical moment. I have never been happier to see a disgusting rarely cleaned gas station bathroom EVER!
We really learnt that super large slushees are not a roatrippers friend. No sir.
So back on the road we went until….
Finally we had reached the golden state... Wait is Florida the golden state or the sunshine state? Either way... We had reached the magical, golden, sun shine filled, happiest state on earth...where dreams come true!! There were tears of joy...they may have been effected by the lack of sleep and large quantity of caffiene, but there was weeping. And not silent subtle weeping. Foolishly I thought ...we are almost there!!! Did I mention we didn't have a reliable map at any stage of this trip? We had a few weird free postcardish looking ones which were far from accurate. We did have an older very tempremental second hand GPS. It had lead us astray a few times already on the trip and we did not trust her! The gps still said quite a few hours were left but it's Florida... Surely Disney is around the corner. The GPS must be lying...what does Brigette know? (we named the GPS Brigette so we had a name to yell at it when it was wrong) we started on our Disney repertoire again and got ready to curse Brigette when we arrived way ahead of her estimated time. HA! Such naive minds. Once again this kind of thinking could be due to the amount of caffeine, but anyway the sun went down and the night started to drag on and on. And there was Brigette, smugly looking down on us from the dashboard. Gloating. Dammit Brigette! So by this stage if you're counting we had been driving for over 40 hours and been on the road in the same awkward cramped positions, eating gas station food and annoying each other for days.
We needed something to cheer us up, to make us all happy again.
My caffeinated brain had a wonderful idea. Now here is Australia we have very few tv stations…it’s quite sad compared to what you guys have!
We literally have 5… so whatever is on, we generally watch. Some people have cable but it’s really not the norm at all. So we honestly watch whatever is on and there REALLY isn’t much. What I am getting to is my unhealthy obsession with Conan O'Brien. For years he was the only show on (aside from the news) when I was drifting off to sleep and thus began my love of Conan.
So on his show one night he hailed a taxi in New York and got the unsuspecting taxi driver to drive him to Canada. The camera came with them and captured the whole trip. I don’t remember much but he made the poor foreign taxi driver get out in the middle of nowhere and do trust falls with him. You know where one person falls back and the other has to catch them. It’s not that funny right? Well caffiented lack-of-sleep Sally found it a hilarious idea and proceeded to pull over and encouraged (read forcebly made ) everyone to have a nice session of trust falls… So there we were, a dirty truck stop on highway 10… falling blindly into each others arms.

If you don’t find this amusing that is perfectly normal.
Go and have 70 cups of coffee and sit in your car for the next 3 days…
Then come back and read that part again.
We found it hilarious, we were in hysterics almost crying, falling all over each other.
All this while putting on a nice little show for the passing motorists.
With that out of our systems it was back in the car and on with the show.
I believe we were onto the Aladdin hour in our singalong at this stage.
We were so close I could feel it!!! Only a few hours left... but then... the unthinkable happened!!!!


Coming Up

A Shower raffle and I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!