Alligator Roadkill Was Just The Beginning!!! Updated 2nd May!!

[Aussiesalad]

I'm totally enthralled!

And I know what you mean about Texas - Texans are nice and all, but I avoid that state like the plague.

At the end I literally gasped aloud and whispered, "Ohhh, did somebody get arrested?"

Can't wait.

Texans are lovely and I actually can't wait to go back there and explore some of the cities I am interested in. I probably just won't drive through it again on highway 10....

Hmmm you will have to wait and see That's too funny that you reacted out loud. I am always making noises when I read trip reports... Josh thinks I am a little crazy but at least you guys understand!

 

[Z28KatCar]

I'm in! This is one of the most entertaining TR I've read. Road trips can be very interesting, looking forward to your next installment!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Love your report so far! I'm eager to hear about a non-stop cross country journey and I think you may be crazy. But I like crazy.

I would classify myself as quite crazy so I am glad you approve
Makes life a little more interesting...

Some things:

My husband and I also got married in Vegas but I opted to not have Elvis marry us. Elvis was not happy.

Oh my gosh, our Elvis was the biggest jerk!! He did NOT want to be there.
It actually made the day even more amazing and hilarious- we could not stop laughing at his disinterest in the whole event. Even in our photos you can even see how much he had just 'checked out'. I can totally see the appeal of the no Elvis wedding haha

I am also a bad trip reporter (um, you can click the link at the bottom if anyone wants to, just saying) and didn't take pictures of food. But really there are so many, so why add to the mass?

Totally checking yours out when I finish this! You are right, so many amazing food pictures on here already. Also I am vegetarian, gluten free with limited dairy so a lot of people aren't exactly enthralled by the type of foods I eat

Moth City? EEEEEK! I would have remained in the car.

I honestly think if the moths are taking up every inch of air at your gas station you should offer some other method of filling up cars...

I CANNOT believe the wallet and pillow were recovered! Amazing! Will that be good karma for the rest of the trip? Hmmm. Trying to decide if good things happening or bad things happening make a better trip report. I'm sure you'll make either funny.

I honestly can't believe it either!! It was a nice little taste of good luck before all the bad luck that followed unfortunately! But it is hilarious bad luck which is always good in hindsight. That's so sweet! Thank you!!

Many, many years ago I worked at Denny's. I'm sorry.

Don't ever apologise for that! Denny's saved us many a time when nothing was open and our stomachs were screaming for mountains of food!

Why do men think beef jerky is good traveling food? My husband thinks so and also thought it would be good waiting-for-the-birth-of-our-daughter food. He was wrong.

Ok men here is a hint: If it makes the car smell like musty beef for hours after consumption,it's not the ideal car trip food.... or pre birth of your child food for that matter!

Do 5-hour energy drinks work?

Um yes and no... the no is a very dramatic chapter all on it's own.

So scary that the hitchhiker showed up again. Are you sure this isn't the plot for Harold and Kuman Go to White Castle?

SO SCARY! Who picked him up??
It's starting to sound that way isn't it.

Can't wait for more. I love your writing style. I'll give you a plug on my report (did I mention I have one?). Maybe you'll get two more readers.

Thank you so much for the plug!! That is the sweetest thing!! I'm excited to check your TR out too

 

[Aussiesalad]

I'm so in.....Laura recruited me!

Jill in CO

Welcome!!! Hope you enjoy it!!
And yay Laura, that is awesome

 

[Aussiesalad]

I'm love with the trip report so far! I don't know that I would ever attempt a 45 hour drive from California to Florida! I must agree with you that Texas is a horrible gosh-forsaken State to drive through/across Been there, done that on a 26 hour drive from Louisiana to Colorado. Just miles and miles of nothingness.

Awh thank you!!!
It really is something to drive that far without stopping properly, and the Texas part was soooo long!
I think there were tears of joy when we finally got out!
But in all seriousness it's mainly just the route it takes through Texas. On our way back we took a different route and we thoroughly enjoyed Texas.
My beef is all with highway 10!!!

It was great to hear that you escaped the wrath of the hitchiker at the gas station. What kind of idiot gave him a lift in the first place? Don't they read the road signs?

I DON'T KNOW!!! Who would pick someone like that up?
Come one people, read your road signs and leave the murderers to the professionals...

I'm in also! Couldn't resist your TR name. I currently live in Texas (but wasn't born or raised her so don't consider myself a Texan). I live just outside of San Antonio (super fun town, but not very exciting as seen from interstate 10) and have made the trip from San Antonio to El Paso several times in the past year (its a long story, but the short version is that it is for school) and that trip goes on for FOREVER. The wind farms are cool though and you can't beat the fact that the speed limit goes up to 80 mph out in West Texas!! Talk about burning up the miles

Welcome!! Aw thanks! The alligator part is coming up and it is really one of those mental images that never leaves!!
Actually my sister works in the sleep/medical industry and they just had their international conference in San Antonio and her pictures were stunning! She stayed right along the riverwalk and every morning she just wandered down there to get coffee. Looks so so pretty!

It literally did feel like forever! Haha I know, you can really fly

Loving the road trip ! We are from New Mexico and can just picture your excitement over the rocks !

Have driven through Texas a few times and can understand it can go on forever !
I can't wait to hear about the other states you travel through !

This is gonna be a fun trip, can't wait !

Haha glad you understand! The rocks literally made us squeal and shriek with delight a little too much.
When rocks start having that effect on you, you know you have been driving for a little too long.
And YES Texas really really dragged!

What are these 'other states' you speak of? All I remember is Texas!!

Fun times are ahead, I can promise you that!!

Laura bribed her readers, BTW. Anyway, she got me here. Great report so far.

Welcome!!! Happy to have you along for the ride!
Good work to Laura! I am all for old fashioned bribery

 

[Aussiesalad]

I'm in! This is one of the most entertaining TR I've read. Road trips can be very interesting, looking forward to your next installment!

Welcome!!! That is so sweet of you to say!!

This road trip ended up being VERY interesting with all the crazy shenanigans that went on

Should be putting the next part up tomorrow

 

[Aussiesalad]

Hi! Laura sent me too!

I'm loving the TR so far! You're hilarious and I can't wait to read more.

Awh thank you! Glad you are enjoying it!!

Moth City, Hitchhiker--both very creepy. I would have died!

These are both situations where death seemed imminent! Seriously the stuff horror movies are made of!]

I have such great memories of road trips with friends. My favorite was a non-stop drive from Chicago to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. I also got stuck with most of the driving-especially overnight. However my show tunes wingman fell asleep and deserted me. Very disappointing.

[Wow that is a trek. Come on show tunes wingman!!! That is VERY disappointing.
People need to realize that the 'back up car singer' is just as important as the driver in road trip situations!

There was so much more that I wanted to comment on, but it's late and I'm old. I've forgotten.

this sentence made me do a weird laugh/snort and choke on my dinner!

 

[cheekypoppins]

Thats one cool (_!_) wedding photo!!!

 

[jane2073]

Loving your trip report!
I love road trips just about as much as I love Disney! We always travel by car and go out of our way to stop a crazy roadside attractions. The older and more run down, the better!
I have seen alligator road kill! It is not pretty!!

Can't wait to read more!!

 

[__disneygirl]

OMG I can't believe the pillow and wallet was still on the roof after driving on the highway!

"Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers As They Are Most Likely Escaped Inmates"

... Wow. LOL.

Now I'm not trying to be mean, but you know how some people just look like murderers?

Yes... yes, I do.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAW HIM AGAIN, OMG. I can't believe someone picked him up even! Wow! That is so crazy.

 

[lilsk8nmac]

I'm so in. You are hilarious!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Thats one cool (_!_) wedding photo!!!

Thanks! It was such a fun day, even with jerky Elvis!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Loving your trip report!
I love road trips just about as much as I love Disney! We always travel by car and go out of our way to stop a crazy roadside attractions. The older and more run down, the better!
I have seen alligator road kill! It is not pretty!!

Can't wait to read more!!

ME TOO!!! Aren't roadtrips the best?!
You make so many memories and have the best adventures with them!
It's so funny to see what is the main "attraction" of some towns.

Ew I know! Not pretty at all! (but still kind of exciting, for an Australian at least)

 

[Aussiesalad]

OMG I can't believe the pillow and wallet was still on the roof after driving on the highway!

It was amazing!!! I'm pretty sure Bek kissed the car roof and thanked it after that ordeal!

... Wow. LOL.

I know, that's the kind of sign you love to see while driving...

Yes... yes, I do.

Good! Glad you know how to identify a murderer as well

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAW HIM AGAIN, OMG. I can't believe someone picked him up even! Wow! That is so crazy.

ARGHHH I KNOW! What kind of person would pick him up???
All I can think of is another crazy murderer?!

 

[Aussiesalad]

I'm so in. You are hilarious!

Awh thank you! And a very big welcome to you!!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Chapter Three

“Please Get Out Of The Car And Place Your Hands Where I Can See Them"

So we left the last chapter narrowly escaping the murderer for the second time.

Please excuse the lack of photos in this update, it clearly would have been inappropriate and probably would gotten us arrested! So I used a little help from google

Soon after this encounter we across border control that happens just outside of Las Cruces? (please feel free to correct me if that's not the right name) as highway 10 comes very close to the Mexican border.

We were pulled over, 3 harmless looking 20 something's just having a nice road trip. I say three because for some reason Tim’s driving attire consisted of his most dirty torn drug-dealing looking singlet, a backwards baseball hat and dirty shorts combo. He is one of the best dressed guys I know, but while in roadtrip mode- Tim's look turned a little scary. Now I love Tim, we all do, but we are still convinced to this day that he is the reason border security gave us a tough time. So they came over to the vehicle and asked us some questions. Now I still can’t tell you when things went south but all of a sudden it was decided that we looked suspicious. We were made us drive into a special area with a team of officers and scary looking sniffer dogs

They then demanded we get out of the car and place our hands where they could see them!! Now this was quite worrying as we had been in the queue to go through the checkpoint for ages due to traffic and we had not seen anyone forced out of their car! So we climbed out of car as quickly as our 'havent been stretched for a few hours' legs could carry us. I might add at this point that about an hour earlier Bek and I had changed into our pyjama shorts to be more comfortable. These shorts were bright pink and blue- mine with sushi on it and her with clouds and rainbows. So there we were on the side of the road in pyjama shorts feeling a little (read VERY) terrified!

They took us each aside separately and asked us 300 times how we knew each other and if we had drugs in the car. This whole process actually took some time... All the while standing in our 'very obviously pyjama pants' or 'ghetto drug dealing attire' on the side of the busy road (Actually Josh was dressed normally, good work husband ) I wish 300 was an exaggeration but it wasn't apparently those two were the questions of the day. They then made us empty our pockets and inspect what we took out, now for some reason Tim had some sort of crumbly cookie powderish remnants in his short pockets which created another round of awkward invasive questions. I believe it was at this point that it started to rain... Were we offered shelter? Ha of course not. Apparently they were still not happy with our answers so they sent their massive scary drug sniffing dogs into the car while we stood on the side of the road.

Can we note how friendly this sniffer dog looks? Ours did not!

All of this while the passing cars mocked us. Well we never heard any mocking ...but if situations were reversed we would mock so it's pretty safe to assume. I mean this visual would have been too good to pass up! FINALLY they let us go and we had a wonderful surprise in the car. The sniffer dogs had walked mud ALL OVER the car AND the new pillows. Yay, also because it had been raining the car now had the lovely aroma of wet dog which is always a hit!
Because everyone knows the number one smell you want in your car when you are stuck in it for days at a time is wet dog…


So on we drove through Texas, and on and on and on. Later that night we were meant to stop for dinner around 8. However 8 came and went and there was nothing around, so did 9, and 10.... Finally at 4am we stopped for dinner once again at….. Denny's!

We had finally reached Houston! Why didn't we stop at San Antonio for dinner you ask... good question. I will take the blame for that one. Houston looked a LOT closer on our unreliable free gas station map I made the call to just kept driving and have dinner a little later.... Ahhh the lessons we learn along the way
We were getting through Texas at a snails pace. But we were getting through it. Back to Denny's! Wooo! You know you're in for a classy meal when there are cats hanging out in the parking lot. Yessss sir you heard me!
We sat down in Denny's and we were pretty much the only ones there until a couple of minutes later some ladies and their gentleman friend came in and were seated right next to us.
Now here is the part I have to word delicately, from the attire of the ladies and their gentleman friend, the conversations we overheard and a little bit of common sense it became apparent that these were ‘ladies of the night’
Ok. There is not a doubt in my mind that they were. No problems here. Just saying we know....you know?
They were quite intimidating though and kept looking over at us, a couple of minutes after we ordered Bek and I started to head to the bathroom and two of the women got up and started to follow us in there. Now call me crazy but things like that make me a little paranoid, especially when no one else is around and we had already had one close murder call of the day. They followed us right in and then came right up to us – close enough we could smell their breath and…. asked if we had a lighter
Well that serves us right for judging a book by its cover!!!
So these ladies and their man friend were actually really lovely and asked us where we were going. The answer "Disneyyyyyyyworllllllllld" never gets old and always gets a smile out of people. They were all so lovely that we sort of moved our tables together and shared a nice middle of the night meal. So we chatted with the ladies and their friend and this is where things got a little strange…well stranger, can't remember what started it but the tired deliriousness of the day had caught up a little. I remember crawling under a strangers table (ohhhh dear) and Tim making a wonderful napkin hat that he put on and refused to take off... I also remember Bek and I spitting juice all over ourselves in a laughing fit. Nice one.

Now as I mentioned, these situations weren't exactly photo friendly so here are a few nice ones from non eventful driving between insane events.

Next up

How To Terrify A Truck Driver And Realllly Test Your Brakes!!

 

[mmeb144]

Sounds like fun, visiting with the border patrol in Texas. Not! Glad you escaped.

Now, what is this pic supposed to be of? Just wondering...

 

[jane2073]

Did they at least appologize when they realized you weren't smuggling drugs???
Check and question if you have to, but there also needs to be a level of common courtesy too! You have my admiration for not letting that put a huge damper on your trip!

 

[cheekypoppins]

OMg I wanna go to WDW with u guys you seem so fun!!!

 

[teedee]

I'm more of a lurker than a poster, but I just had to let you know how much I'm enjoying your trip report! I keep getting strange looks from my dh because I am literally laughing out loud while reading! I can't wait for more.

Terri