Tweens and independence on the ships?

[disneymagicgirl]

At what age are you comfortable with letting your kids roam the ship by themselves? I am probably overprotective, but it makes me nervous for my DD12 to walk around by herself or stay in the room alone. I am sure I am being ridiculous. I know I'd feel better if she had a friend with her or a sibling closer to her age. I looked into bringing her friend, but we can't afford to pay for it so I did not want to invite her and have the friend pay...seems rude.

 

[Texas Disney Fan]

The wave phones really help. We were on the ship in June and our DS had just turned 12. We gave him certain instructions and that he was to call if he wanted to do anything outside the plan. He did great and loved the independence.

We are letting him stay home this summer by himself. Of course each child is different. You have to do what is right for your family.

 

[flexsmom]

Same here with my DD who just turned 12. She was so happy to have the Wave Phone. She was not allowed to have anyone into our room, or to go into anyone else's, no matter what. She was allowed to go to Edge, or the movies, or to a scheduled activity - and always let me know when she was in transit on with a text. I did the same by keeping her posted about where I was. Oh - and she wasn't allowed to be "nowhere", if that makes sense. In other words, no aimless hanging around, even on deck. If she wanted to just "hang out" with other kids her age, she could do that in the Edge or at an Edge-related activity, rather than join in some of the stair-sitting crowds or other groups that started to form around some of the deck-lounge areas.

All of that said, we probably spent more than half our days together and the other half she was out and about.

 

[4HOLIDAYS]

We went throught this with our 2 sons on prior trips before wave phones. We just made sure to check in often,the only slight panic was when our DS,11 at the time)was with the group activ on CC and they did not come back on time. With the wave phone , I would not worry as long as the rules you set are followed. We felt the boys were safe on the ship, and they have good common sense.

 

[ALSBC91]

We will be in the same boat. Our DD will be 11 on our cruise next April. Her older brothers will be able to hang together (15 & 17), but she will be solo. We are hoping she makes some friends to hang with. She will be allowed to roam with a "buddy", no rooms though. Having grown up in her older brother's scouting world, she is totally fine with the "buddy system", even at their age, the boys tend to follow it, all on their own, if we go somewhere and turn them loose. The WAVE phones will help as well though.

 

[momof2minnies]

At what age are you comfortable with letting your kids roam the ship by themselves? I am probably overprotective, but it makes me nervous for my DD12 to walk around by herself or stay in the room alone. I am sure I am being ridiculous. I know I'd feel better if she had a friend with her or a sibling closer to her age. I looked into bringing her friend, but we can't afford to pay for it so I did not want to invite her and have the friend pay...seems rude.

My DDs are 17 and 19 and I still worry.The phrase" overprotective parent" was devised by people who suck at being parents to make themselves feel better.You are not over protective you are a good parent.

Have a great cruise.


Linda

 

[madmum63]

We were on the panama canal crossing when they changed the age groups and I was not happy. DS then 11 (DD then 8 was ok as she was secure in club). The first week of the cruise was not good as I could not settle and kept sending my DH and going myself in turn to check different areas of the ship to see he was OK. So after a week of ruined holiday I decided to chill a little and give him a chance. We gave him strict guidelines for times to return and told him if he was late that the punishment would be that he had to stay with us for the whole of the next day.

He was never late and to our knowledge stayed in the "safe" areas (Not Cabin areas)

We have cruised DCL several times since and are going again on Wednesday. I have just bought new watches for DS 14 and DD 11 so that there is no excuse for being late. We will lay DS clothing out for him and tell him where to meet and what time for Dinner. We tell them where we are going to be and it has has been great. This year is the first time for DD (aaaaaarghh) we have set the same rules and boundaries but I will still be looking out for them. They have both been talking to other children on the same cruise so they already have friends with things in common and are meeting in the terminal.

Having said all that, I think I will worry about them till the day I die. Its just that the thing you worry about changes as they get older. But we always want them to be safe.

 

[Anal Annie]

Last time we cruised was back in 2008 & DS was 11. We gave him a watch with an alarm so we could say check in with us at blah, blah time or be back to the room to shower for dinner at 7:00 & he could set the alarm to remind himself. We also got a litttle magnetic dry erase board in our FE which was great - we put that on the door & he could leave us messages like "went to a movie" or whatever. Likewise we could leave a note for him that said "at the pool" for example. We also got notes on it from other DIS'ers from our meet thread like "martini tasting at 5:00". We will do the same again this summer and he's 14 now. The rule about not letting anyone into the room & not going into anyone else's room is a good one to push too.

 

[Ladyshopper]

I think everyone has their different comfort levels. My two children were 12 and 13 on the cruise, so both in Edge. My rules were that they they didn't have any kids in our cabin, and didn't go into others. Also that one of them had to carry the wave phone. Other than that it was a strict time they had to be back for dinner. Daughter was late one night, and was not allowed to the Edge or out for the rest of the night - funnily enough she wasn't late again!

They also had to be in by midnight, although 1 night I let them stay out until 1am.

I was comfortable with the above, and so were they, but I appreciate others might not be. I do think a little independence is good, hence they have a key at home and are on there own around 30 minutes before I finish work in the evening, but I also leave them when going grocery shopping etc. They are sensible kids, and I'm a police officer so more than aware of the dangers out there, and because of that they're possibly more aware than others their age.

They had a great time, made lots of new friends who they still keep in touch with now, and I will be using similar rules when we go on our cruise next year, as it worked well for us.

Edited to add, also had a magnetic dry wipe board on the cabin door so we could leave notes for each other, this also worked very well.

 

[Blanche_Neige]

I think everyone has their different comfort levels. My two children were 12 and 13 on the cruise, so both in Edge. My rules were that they they didn't have any kids in our cabin, and didn't go into others. Also that one of them had to carry the wave phone. Other than that it was a strict time they had to be back for dinner. Daughter was late one night, and was not allowed to the Edge or out for the rest of the night - funnily enough she wasn't late again!

They also had to be in by midnight, although 1 night I let them stay out until 1am.

I was comfortable with the above, and so were they, but I appreciate others might not be. I do think a little independence is good, hence they have a key at home and are on there own around 30 minutes before I finish work in the evening, but I also leave them when going grocery shopping etc. They are sensible kids, and I'm a police officer so more than aware of the dangers out there, and because of that they're possibly more aware than others their age.

They had a great time, made lots of new friends who they still keep in touch with now, and I will be using similar rules when we go on our cruise next year, as it worked well for us.

Edited to add, also had a magnetic dry wipe board on the cabin door so we could leave notes for each other, this also worked very well.

My DS is 11 years old, I am currently writing the "rules" about being out and about on the ship. This will be his first time being able to be independent on the ship.

I will ask him to have a wave phone with him. Which brings up the question where/what does he do with it if he goes swimming or on the aquaduck?

I have read some many post of people moving even dumping the towel and personal belonging off a chair into the dirty towel bins. How do I tell him to keep the phone safe?

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

My DDs are 17 and 19 and I still worry.The phrase" overprotective parent" was devised by people who suck at being parents to make themselves feel better.You are not over protective you are a good parent.

Have a great cruise.


Linda

I've got to disagree (and the phrase "suck at being parents" really? There are some of us who don't suck, but also don't let our kids act like rabid howler-monkeys either). Worrying is natural, everyone is going to do it, it's when the worrying prevents you from letting your child experience greater levels of responsibility and freedom that it hurts them. That's where the phrase "overprotective parent" comes in.

OP, with Wave Phones, and strict rules, and then check up on them to ensure that they're where they say they're going to be, your kiddos should be fine. If you're not comfortable, then don't do it.

My DD is 10, almost 11, and she'll have sign in/sign out priviledges on the boat, we're going to look into Edge, but if the makeup is more 12 and 13 year olds on our cruise, she'll be in the clubs, but still have sign in/out. She knows she'd better be where she says, and no signing out to "hang out", getting pizza, going to a movie in the theater, going to watch TV in the room by herself, all are OK, but no "hanging out" except in the club. She had those priviledges last year, and did really well at following them. I admit, we did hide around the corner the first time to make sure she went right back to the cabin, but since she's shown her ability to handle that, I'll give her a little bit more freedom.

Will I worry? Probably, she's my daughter, but I'll still let her do it. I have a "Tween Contract" that I downloaded from an older post, I'll put it in the next post as this one is long enough!

 

[Blanche_Neige]

My DD is 10, almost 11, and she'll have sign in/sign out priviledges on the boat, we're going to look into Edge, but if the makeup is more 12 and 13 year olds on our cruise, she'll be in the clubs, but still have sign in/out. She knows she'd better be where she says, and no signing out to "hang out", getting pizza, going to a movie in the theater, going to watch TV in the room by herself, all are OK, but no "hanging out" except in the club. She had those priviledges last year, and did really well at following them. I admit, we did hide around the corner the first time to make sure she went right back to the cabin, but since she's shown her ability to handle that, I'll give her a little bit more freedom.

Will I worry? Probably, she's my daughter, but I'll still let her do it. I have a "Tween Contract" that I downloaded from an older post, I'll put it in the next post as this one is long enough!

Looking forward to seeing that "tween contract"

if it's too long could you PM me

TY

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Here's the contract, I have a horrible memory so don't remember who to credit with it's creation, but I'm not the author. I'll make a few updates before I have DD sign it (I don't want her in the pool if I'm not there...):

The Rules:

1. When you are not with us, you are expected to behave in a responsible and courteous manner. You will not be rude to other guests and you will behave as ladies/gentlemen. In other words, don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want us to see you doing.

2. You must be together with brother/sister/friends from ship any time you are not in the Lab. This won't apply to DD as it's just she and I on this cruise.

3. You will send a text to my Wavephone whenever you leave the lab for any reason with where you are going and why.

4. No one else may enter our room.

5. You may not enter anyone else’s room.

6. You must have your room key and watch with you at all times. You cannot charge items to Card unless agreed in advance with Dad/Mom.

7. If you sign yourself out of the Lab, you may only go to or move between the following places:

A. Deck 9, Mickey/Goofy Pool area
B. Pluto’s/Pinocchio’s/Goofy’s snacks/the beverage station/Game room/Restroom
C. Deck 4 Shops/Photos, Promenade walk around the ship.
D. Deck 3 Guest services
E. Deck 10 Sports Deck
F. Our room
G. Buena Vista Theater

G. You may also go to a movie or show IF you text us first to tell us you are going and you check in with us as soon as the movie or show ends.

8. You will check in/text with Mom/Dad at agreed upon times and places throughout the day. Always back in Stateroom by 5pm each day, to prepare for Dinner.

9. Do not play with the elevators. We recommend taking the stairs!

10. No snacking after 3.30 p.m. Any food you get you must eat. If you do not finish the food, do not order more until after the next meal.

11. No room service ordering without our permission.

12. After dinner, you will be allowed in the following places without Mom or Dad:

A. the Lab
B. our room
C. Movie

13. No swimming w/o Sun cream/shirt I'm going to remove this one

14. No hanging on the stairs! In fact no "hanging" anywhere other than the arcade, lab, Quest, or Stack. –Or outside Palo window, even if we are in there.

15. You will meet us for meals as follows:
Lunch – Sea days Topsiders 12 noon.
Dinner – Stateroom 5pm

16. If someone in your group does something wrong, you can get in trouble too.

17. Do not argue, or fight at any times, and in particular at Meal times.

The Consequences:
Your sign out privileges will be suspended the first time we (or anyone else - remember, I have friends on board!) see you somewhere you are not supposed to be or doing something you are not supposed to be doing.

I, the undersigned, agree to the above rules and consequences.

 

[mousefan5]

Thanks for posting the contract. I will need to save it to a file until our cruise next March.

 

[Blanche_Neige]

Here's the contract, I have a horrible memory so don't remember who to credit with it's creation, but I'm not the author. I'll make a few updates before I have DD sign it (I don't want her in the pool if I'm not there...):

The Rules:

1. When you are not with us, you are expected to behave in a responsible and courteous manner. You will not be rude to other guests and you will behave as ladies/gentlemen. In other words, don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want us to see you doing.

.
.
.
16. If someone in your group does something wrong, you can get in trouble too.

17. Do not argue, or fight at any times, and in particular at Meal times.

The Consequences:
Your sign out privileges will be suspended the first time we (or anyone else - remember, I have friends on board!) see you somewhere you are not supposed to be or doing something you are not supposed to be doing.

I, the undersigned, agree to the above rules and consequences.

Thank you for posting, it should be in the sticky I will use it as a template and modify it to fit our needs.

I like the part that says "or anyone else - remember, I have friends on board!"

 

[DisneyBasket]

Having said all that, I think I will worry about them till the day I die. Its just that the thing you worry about changes as they get older. But we always want them to be safe.

I am north of age 50, and my dear mother is north of 80. When my siblings and I were well into adulthood, (married, with families), we told her she could stop worrying about us now....she opened her coat and demanded "Show me where the "OFF" button is!" Now that I have my own twenty-something children, I understand exactly what she meant.

You are quite right, we will never stop worrying/thinking about them, just WHAT changes as time passes by. We're mothers, it's what we do!

It sounds to me like you all have a fine plan for allowing your tweens some independence and protecting them as well. I hope you and your families have a wonderful vacation.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Thanks for posting the contract. I will need to save it to a file until our cruise next March.

That's exactly what I did with it! Thankfully I had it so could repost for you guys! Hang on to it, and pay it forward.

Thank you for posting, it should be in the sticky I will use it as a template and modify it to fit our needs.

I like the part that says "or anyone else - remember, I have friends on board!"

There was also a bit in there about wearing your DIS bracelet at all times, which I took out, but I like the idea, that way anyone who's on the DISmeet board for that cruise can easily see that it's a DIS kid, and then you're really busted!

 

[Blanche_Neige]

There was also a bit in there about wearing your DIS bracelet at all times, which I took out, but I like the idea, that way anyone who's on the DISmeet board for that cruise can easily see that it's a DIS kid, and then you're really busted!

I have sons, they are generally well behaved but I have notice that when you put many of them together things happen...

I just don't want my child doing this
http://youtu.be/oIbnnFI4vjs

 

[madmum63]

I am north of age 50, and my dear mother is north of 80. When my siblings and I were well into adulthood, (married, with families), we told her she could stop worrying about us now....she opened her coat and demanded "Show me where the "OFF" button is!" Now that I have my own twenty-something children, I understand exactly what she meant.

You are quite right, we will never stop worrying/thinking about them, just WHAT changes as time passes by. We're mothers, it's what we do!

It sounds to me like you all have a fine plan for allowing your tweens some independence and protecting them as well. I hope you and your families have a wonderful vacation.

Thank you If only there was a book. We can only go by example of our elders and thankfully mine, though no longer here were both fantastic in my eyes. If I can be half as good as they were, my children should be ok.

 

[erocrobro]

The phrase" overprotective parent" was devised by people who suck at being parents to make themselves feel better.You are not over protective you are a good parent.
Linda

Amen!