Hey fellow Jersey Girl!!!! As to the rope drops I didn't find them to be so bad. I did one by myself at MGM just to see what it was like while the rest of my group slept in. I would rate it as controlled chaos. The only "problem" I saw was one man who led the cavalry charge to TSM to get fastpasses and even that wasn't horrible (although the FPs were wiped out for the day within an hour). I really enjoyed the entertainment before the rope drop, and the Streetmosphere actors go out of their way to get everyone involved. Lots of fun laughs and no mean, nasty, cranky, shoving people. The "Charge of the Light Brigade" could be summed up as a competitive race walk. The CMs don't allow any running.
Did one at MK with my kids last time we were there and it too wasn't horrendous. Crowded: yes, beastly: no. The opening ceremony, in my opinion, should NOT be missed by anyone. And when the rope dropped, people hustled to where they wanted to go. My kids and I started in Adventureland and worked our way to Tomorrowland and did every single ride from here to there with no waiting in lines. Total bliss.
So from my point of view, they're not to be passed up. You can get so much accomplished in 2 to 2.5 hours before the parks get unbearable. We go in August (PS - just booked our trip!!!) so we're done and gone by the time the sun starts beating down on our pointy little heads. And if you try one and don't like it, at least you tried it. And I don't like being pushed around, either!!