Has anyone ever complained about your kids at the parks?

[minniebride]

"I'm sorry"

Such a simple phrase that, when used, can defuse some of the worst situations. If your kid does something to negatively impact the people around them, as simple "I'm sorry" would do wonders. Did the kid swing the line rope while you were distracted for that one moment and hit someone? "I'm sorry my child did that" would be a huge step in the right direction. Did the kid get a little too excited with their sword and accidentally hit someone? "I'm sorry he hit you" is the correct response.

Pretty much I think it comes down to two really simple ideas. One, if your child does something to someone, apologize. Two, if it's ongoing and negatively effects all those around you, go somewhere else until it can be calmed down.

What I mean by two is the dreaded tantrum in a restaurant, show, or ride line (or really any confined space). There are numerous people all in a (relatively) small location. As such, if your child is doing something to impact the enjoyment of others, then you need to remove them. If they are screaming during the show, then leave. If they are running around and yelling in the restaurant, then leave. If they continue to ignore you about swinging on the ropes, then leave. There is no reason to allow your child to bother a large number of people by their behavior.

Now, on my 2007 trip, I did complain about kids twice. They were even the same kids. Once I complained to a CM because the parents were allowing their children to run around in the landscaping (not the grass... the landscaping) and did nothing when they started to pull up grass and flowers. I spoke to a CM about that because they were destroying that I knew people had worked on. The CM asked them to keep the kids out of the landscaping and the parents did seem to listen (but didn't apologize).

The second time I complained to the waitress because these kids were being allowed to run around the restaurant and were causing a dangerous situation (it was a buffet, CP to be exact). Well, before the CM could do anything, the kids ran INTO Tigger. Smack dab into him while he was spending time with another family. Lets just say the family was firmly escorted out of the restaurant after that...

Not once did I complain about a general meltdown, because the parents were doing what they could every time I saw one. Not once did I complain about a kid being "loud" because they were excited about seeing Mickey. Not once did I complain about a kid wandering in front of me because they were so caught up with what was going on around them. No, there is a HUGE difference in those things compared to the 2 incidents I DID complain about.

So, all I ask of parents is... at least TRY to do something. Don't sit there and ignore it and allow it to impact other people. If you are trying, then people have a lot more patience then they would otherwise.

Great post!!!

 

[j&j620]

They are intentionally swinging the chain. If it hits someone it is the parent of the child's fault for letting them do it. It is not about what they think swinging the chain is; it is about what swinging the chain can do.

So let me ask you this. If a 4 year old thinks it is fun to walk up to people and spit on them because he is bored, is that acceptable? According to you he is not thinking about hitting someone he is just amusing himself because he is bored.

This type of action is beyond the "typical meltdown" type stuff.

Well, that's exactly what a young child would think. Try Googling "Egocentrism" and "Piaget." Interesting stuff.

 

[stepdisney]

Interesting thread. I was at MK last week in the Laugh show with Mike W. The woman behind me had a child who was crying loudly throughout the show. She also had a little one (maybe 2) who was running back and forth. She kept saying "do you want to leave?" She was also loud. She stood up holding the baby who was crying and kept saying "do you want to leave or see the rest of the show. She BECAME the show. My question, why wouldn't you leave if your children were crying or screaming during a show? If you are in a show and your child has a melt down, to answer the OP, yes, I think you should leave, I should leave, whomever should grab the child quickly and head to the nearest door to quiet the child. Of course those of us with children know to have treats, cool drinks, etc. handy when you feel one coming on. If you can't stop it, move the child to another location and handle your business like a parent. Ignoring it when you are walking through the park pushing the stroller is understandable, (IMHO) but you shouldn't ignore it if everyone is watching a show. JMHO

 

[minniebride]

No kidding. We were all kids once. And plenty of childless or childfree people work as teachers, nannies and the like.

I have to agree here. I am actually a behavior specialist for young children with autism and behavioral disorders. I've worked with a wide variety of kids in their schools, in their homes, and in the community for over 13 years-working directly with children, training parents, and training teachers. I feel pretty confident that, not only can I offer advice about managing a child's behaviors, I can offer them without parental emotions getting in the way. & I can tell you what the research says, with regards to what generally works/does not work. Not trying to sound arrogant, I'm just saying that you don't need to have children to understand behavior management.

So, just because you don't have children, it doesn't necessarily mean you don't know how to manage behaviors. Don't forget that many people on here, aside from being WDW fanatics, are professionals in various fields, some in the area of child behavior management!

 

[Withacy]

So anyway. I am a parent who tends to believe in kids making their own decisions (within reason) and reaping the consequences of those decisions (again within reason). So she had made a decision to wear this dress, and the consequence was that she was now uncomfortable. No, I was NOT going to leave the park and punish all of us because of that. I was NOT going to remove her back to the room just so some people would not have to listen to her tantrum.

So basically you're going to punish everyone else around you? I'm all for teaching your child a lesson, but if your priority was teaching her a lesson about consiquences wouldn't "You chose to wear this dress, now you don't want to - so we'll go back and change, but that will make you miss lunch with the princesses" be a valid one too? But that would inconvenience you. So you chose the consiquence that just happened to work out best for you.

I actually had a similar situation arise with an itchy pirate costume & a 7 year old at the Magic Kingdom. When he started whining, before it escallated, I sat him down, looked him in the eye and said "What do you want to do?" He was kind of surprised by that (I'm his godmother - I don't know how his mother deals with those situations). "If you don't want to wear it, we'll leave the park, go back to the hotel and you can change." HE decided to stay, and that was pretty much the end of it. Though I did end up carrying all the parts that were removable.

 

[churchpilot]

Two different experiences stand out....Buzz Lightyear this past April---a young boy (7-8) and his mom were in line and she was pulling him along by his arm. He would pull against her, but not say anything. I thought this was odd, but upon reflection, I do believe he probably had some sort of sensory issues, etc. All of a sudden he yanked loose and tried to run off. She grabbed him and took him to the ground to try and control him. We were all a little shocked and not sure what to do. All of a sudden he got up and took off running. He whizzed right past us and the mom screamed his name over and over (he was headed out, not toward the ride). She was having a harder time getting by people and catching up with him and her face was loaded with fear, despair, etc. My husband took off after him at that point and the mom just crumpled to the ground and started crying and saying "I can't do it anymore....." It was so sad and more than a few of us were crying and hurting for her. My husband did catch up to him and got him in a bear hug and finally managed to call me and ask what to do next. We told mom that my husband had her son and she got up and apologized, said "thank you" and I walked out with her. They were reunited and everything seemed to be okay at that point. The other one.................happened in May. A little boy who looked to be about 3 nutted up on his parents outside POTC and started kicking, hitting, pinching, and screaming at his mom and dad. I couldn't understand him (he was Asian) but you knew he was mad. They both spoke to him in calm voices and tried to placate him. Not working. Then he made a mistake---spit in his mothers face and then spit at his Dad but hit our stroller instead. My husband's turn to nut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He bent down and put his finger in the little angels face and did his deepest, meanest man voice and said "no". You would have thought he poured ice water on the little tot. He turned beet red and ran to mom and started wailing. My husband walked over to the mom, bent down again and repeated "no, and said stop". He did...........poor kid---with passive parents like that you wonder if he won't turn out to be the most disliked child on the planet.

 

[luckyprincess]

Just because someone does not have children of thier own does not mean that they have no experience with children.

Thank you! My mother always said in response to how difficult it is to raise kids: 'it's not rocket science, you just need common sense and love'. Of course those were the days before parenting books, validating tantrums and negotiating good behavior

I've experience with little ones, tweens and teens and of course there are blips in behavior - it's how you respond to that which matters. Some people just get defensive about any advice at all and make up reasons why not to take it, I think

 

[NLD]

So basically you're going to punish everyone else around you? I'm all for teaching your child a lesson, but if your priority was teaching her a lesson about consiquences wouldn't "You chose to wear this dress, now you don't want to - so we'll go back and change, but that will make you miss lunch with the princesses" be a valid one too? But that would inconvenience you. So you chose the consiquence that just happened to work out best for you.

I actually had a similar situation arise with an itchy pirate costume & a 7 year old at the Magic Kingdom. When he started whining, before it escallated, I sat him down, looked him in the eye and said "What do you want to do?" He was kind of surprised by that (I'm his godmother - I don't know how his mother deals with those situations). "If you don't want to wear it, we'll leave the park, go back to the hotel and you can change." HE decided to stay, and that was pretty much the end of it. Though I did end up carrying all the parts that were removable.

Ummmm, no. As I said we were not in the queue while she was being bothersome. So yes, we took other people into account.

However I don't see how it's "punishing everyone else" to pull her to the side until she calmed down. And that is my point exactly. It seems like some people have this unreasonable expectation that they won't ever have to hear a crying kid in the parks. We were not in a show, we were not in line. But what I gather from some of these posts is that I should have removed my crying child from Epcot altogether. Now how does that work? If I bring my screaming child on the bus to go back to the resort because that is what some people think is the appropriate consequence for having a tantrum in public, am I not inconveniencing the people on the bus now?

We tried the whole "What do you want to do?" question. She was in that stage where anything we said made her more mad and made her louder. I know my child and I know that at that point, I have to give her space to calm herself down. So that is what we did--not in a show, not in a line, not in close quarters to others where they couldn't get away from us--but yes, in the park.

Once she calmed herself down I again asked what she wanted to do. By that point she was calmer but still pouty and refusing to answer, so she was told to think about it and she could tell us after Soarin'. (She was quiet by that point so we entered the queue.) After Soarin' she perked up and was happy again and decided she did not need new clothes and could live with her dress until after lunch, and we had a wonderful rest of the day with no more incidents.

So all of that to say is... sometimes parents DO know their kids best and DO know how to handle a situation, and just because a kid is screaming in the parks doesn't mean the automatic answer is to remove them completely from the park. It's a judgment call.

I understand what everyone is saying about parents who literally WATCH their kids do naughty things to other people (like kicking the back of someone's seat) without doing anything. That bugs me too, and I would not allow DD to do something like that! But I'm also sayingthat just because a kid is crying and the parents appear to be "ignoring" it doesn't mean they've necessarily "taken a vacation from parenting."

 

[Suellen]

Ahhhhh I'd be hard pressed to sit by and let your husband talk to my children in an disciple type manner.

To those that don't have kids but know a lot about it. It is totally different when you are the one responsible for them for 24/7 365. I'd be the best parent in the world if I only had to spend 6 hours a day with my kids.

But get woken up 5 times a night, still be up at 7AM with them, wash them, clothe them, feed them, entertain them, teach them, discipline them for 24 hours a day 7 days a week in "real" life (i.e. not on vacation) and then you can tell me what I am doing wrong with my kids. As a matter of fact that isn't necessarily true because you would have to do all those things for my specific kids before you can have an opinion on them. Every kid kid is different.

Not every parent is perfect. Not every parent is the same. Not every technique works for every kid. As has been proven in this thread you have NO IDEA what other issues a child may have.

I have a 5 year old with OCD ~ so what you "may" see as a bad behavior tantrum may in fact be a panic attack that could last hours or could last 5 seconds.

So the best advice you can give a parent is: know your own kids and what they can and can't handle. Beyond that ~ your really have no idea.

 

[tink20]

I don't think they have ever bothered anyone else, if they did, then I apologize. But they sure have gotten of my nerves a few times. I usually try to be more patient when we are on vacation, but I will give an evil look or with DD, I would start correcting her loudly (which would embarrass her) but that was when she was like 12/13, she is fine now.

DS was whiny on our first trip, I would just remove him from the area, and go talk to him in private. He was scared to go on the rides. I would try to talk him into going, and if he didn't want to, then DH and I would take turns with DD.

Now, last summer (June 09) We brought DD's two friends (all three were 15 yrs. old) with us, and they would eat lots of sweets at the dinner buffets, and they were hopped up on sugar, they were laughing (one of the girls laughed so hard, she started coughing and gagging) and being very loud and talking to total strangers. I did tell them to settle down, but DH said that one of the girls was almost embarrassing him. They did this like the last 3 nights of the trip. They were just excited and having fun, it was their first time at WDW. I am sure they were bothering someone, but noone ever said anything to them.......but sorry if you were on the monorail that night when they were acting CrAzY!

 

[luckyprincess]

I am just positive that my DD8 turning around and pointing to a young couple kissing at Le Cellier and exclaining "EWWWWWWWWW" loudly was not welcomed and got some comments from nearby tables, but none directly to us.

Lol!!! My bf and I would burst out laughing if she did that to us!

 

[Azree]

Let me preface this by saying that I neither have nor want children (this in no way invalidates anyones choice to have any) so my bf and I definetly notice when children are misbehaving. We notice even more when parents are ignoring it. I'm sorry, but just because you are on your vacay doesn't mean you get to take a vacation from parenting Please don't tell yourself that most people have kids, most people sympathise, most people don't mind, or whatever if your kid melts down. The polite thing to do is to remove them from any enclosed area (if you are in a line, leave the line, if you are in a theatre, leave the theatre, if you are in a restaurant, leave the restaurant) to calm your little one down and deal with them.
Also please, please, please discipline them the same way you would at home! To not do that lets them know you are a push over on vacation and they can do as they please with no consequences. Just because it may inconvenence you doesn't mean you should skip it. If you usually do a time out - do it! It gives your child much needed structure and lets them know that you expect good behavior, even at a theme park. We can't tell you how many times we were annoyed by people letting their kids run wild at the expense of others. The one family that stood out to us the most as the best parents ever were the ones that actually gave their kids a time out for their tantrum at having to leave Dinoland. The kids were wailing and slapping and kicking at their dad and they sat them down and made them sit for a time out. It worked and the kids left sniffling and parents seemed calm. Kudos to them!

I'm sorry, it seems like most of you have let this one go, but I just can't. I feel the overwhelming need to paraphrase this post - here goes:

"I don't have kids, and don't want any, but I WILL tell you how to properly parent the ones YOU have."

That about right?



Further...

1. Disney is a place for children of all ages. Therefore, you will encounter many of them while touring the parks.

2. Children (of all ages) behave in VASTLY different ways, from one child to the next, and from one moment to the next.

3. Parents discipline and handle their children in VASTLY different ways, from one child to the next, and from one moment to the next.

4. As long as there are no signs of abuse, it is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell another parent how to discipline their children.

5. Is it rude to allow children to bother other park guests? Absolutely. But is it just as rude to interfere with/scold/comment to a parent who is dealing with (or not dealing with) their own children? Absolutely.

I know enough about my kids and they know enough about my expectations that I will remove them from public situations in which they act inappropriately. But other people to not handle their kids the same way, and I would never presume to know what's best for their families.


As parents, I am sure most here would agree that we have dealt with many, many stressful parenting situations, including those in which we are not particularly proud of our responses.

To assume that we are not handling our children "correctly" or up to your expectations is unfair and presumptuous.

Last visit, I sat with my kids in the back row of a boat on Splash Mountain and watched the single mother of four (ages around 5 to 10-11) in front of us beg, plead, holler, and cry to her children to sit down and behave on the ride. She was at her wit's end, and, while I initially thought some pretty ugly thoughts, by the end of the 10 minute ride I had been reminded well enough that her job is tough enough without some random stranger looking down his nose at her and jumping to conclusions. For her, this may have been the trip of a lifetime and she was trying to hold together the crumbling remnants of her dream vacation. Fact is, it wasn't my place to judge. That's somebody else's job. [/rant]


Sorry if this post comes off as rude - I'm trying to be as gentle as possible and get my point across.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that people without kids have the right to say something here. They aren't parents of course but they can sure be inconvenienced by people refusing to parent. While we may not know the full story when we see a kid acting up we can often tell when the parents aren't doing what they're supposed to.

 

[fairestoneofall]

I think that people without kids have the right to say something here. They aren't parents of course but they can sure be inconvenienced by people refusing to parent. While we may not know the full story when we see a kid acting up we can often tell when the parents aren't doing what they're supposed to.

nobody said that. i believe what has been said is that, if you are not a parent, do not tell someone who IS a parent HOW to parent. because you just don't know until you've walked in the same shoes.

i AM a parent, but i would not ever tell someone else how to parent. their kids might do better with a different form of discipline than what works for my kids. heck. my kids don't respond the same way to the same discipline. DD is more headstrong and stubborn. with DS, sometimes a stern look is all it takes to get him to straighten up. sometimes, it takes more. all that to say that each child is different. and you cannot look at a child you aren't around all the time and make the judgement call on what type of discipline will work.

the title of this thread is, "Has anyone ever complained about your kids at the parks?" i don't know why that has opened up for everyone to start judging everyone else's parenting styles. but i guess this is the Dis.

 

[CTDisneyfan816]

I have no kids, but I was one once and I have been around friends with kids a lot so just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my opinion on kids is any less valid. That being said I would never tell or even suggest to someone how to raise their kid. That being said when I go out in public, whether it be to a restaurant or in this case to Disney, there are going to be children. And more times than not there will be crying babies/children. Misbehaving children, downright loud and unruly children. If you can accept that fact, that's half the battle. And ask yourself a question, do you think the kids parents hate hearing the noise any less than you do? Sometimes the worst thing you can do is to address the child because that is exactly what they are looking for. If the know that all they need to do to make the parent drop everything they are doing to focus 100% of their attention on them is to cry or misbehave, guess what? They cry and misbehave! I have yet to have an outing ruined by a child misbehaving (and believe me, I've been around more than my share). Kids all have to learn and that is part of that experience.

As for apologizing, no need to.

 

[luckyprincess]

I'm sorry, it seems like most of you have let this one go, but I just can't. I feel the overwhelming need to paraphrase this post - here goes:

"I don't have kids, and don't want any, but I WILL tell you how to properly parent the ones YOU have."

That about right?

No, and you're the only one that posted it because you're the only one that apparently added extra words and intentions to my post....once again, this is a great example of someone just resenting anyone noticing people NOT doing a great job parenting - of which plenty of people on here have shared stories



Further...

1. Disney is a place for children of all ages. Therefore, you will encounter many of them while touring the parks. When did I or anyone else say that they didn't expect to see children? Again - totally defensive for no reason.

2. Children (of all ages) behave in VASTLY different ways, from one child to the next, and from one moment to the next. Uh huh, again, no one said otherwise

3. Parents discipline and handle their children in VASTLY different ways, from one child to the next, and from one moment to the next. See above..
4. As long as there are no signs of abuse, it is NOT YOUR PLACE to tell another parent how to discipline their children. When exactly did I or anyone else do that? Except for the person that disciplined the kid that spit on his baby stroller (which was the correct thing to do, imo) no one has talked about going up to someone and telling them how to discipline your kids.

5. Is it rude to allow children to bother other park guests? Absolutely. But is it just as rude to interfere with/scold/comment to a parent who is dealing with (or not dealing with) their own children? Absolutely. Again - how many times do I have to write (and others) that if you are dealing with it then great - if you are going to ignore a screaming fit that is surely annoying others and ruining their enjoyment then you are in the wrong. period.

I know enough about my kids and they know enough about my expectations that I will remove them from public situations in which they act inappropriately. But other people to not handle their kids the same way, and I would never presume to know what's best for their families.
Of course you only care about the families of the kids behaving poorly, in your scenarios What about what is best for the families that are being dragged into a families behavior issues because they refuse to address the child? You presume to know what's best for them, apparently, in this sceanrio


As parents, I am sure most here would agree that we have dealt with many, many stressful parenting situations, including those in which we are not particularly proud of our responses.

To assume that we are not handling our children "correctly" or up to your expectations is unfair and presumptuous.
Here - let me cut to the chase and give you my expectations of your children and how you handle them:
1. If they scream at a show, restaurant, line - remove them from other innocent people until it's done/is handled.
2. If they kick/hit/push/punch/spit/knock over a park guest tell them to apologize and tell them to stop the poor behavior.
3. If they hurt an animal, tear up landscaping or destroy property tell them to apologize and tell them to stop the poor behavior.
Wow - you're right! That's so unreasonable, unfair and presumptous!:confused3
Last visit, I sat with my kids in the back row of a boat on Splash Mountain and watched the single mother of four (ages around 5 to 10-11) in front of us beg, plead, holler, and cry to her children to sit down and behave on the ride. She was at her wit's end, and, while I initially thought some pretty ugly thoughts, by the end of the 10 minute ride I had been reminded well enough that her job is tough enough without some random stranger looking down his nose at her and jumping to conclusions. For her, this may have been the trip of a lifetime and she was trying to hold together the crumbling remnants of her dream vacation. Fact is, it wasn't my place to judge. That's somebody else's job. [/rant]

I always hear the trip of a lifetime reasoning as an excuse to some pretty poor behavior by ALL guests of ALL ages. My parents could have never afforded a trip to Disney for us - they still can't. But when we did go places my Dad usually had to work overtime for it, my mom picked up extra sewing and they scrimped and saved for a trip to the shore for a week in a motel. And if we were to act like the kids you explained, they would have packed us up and gone home. Regardless of how expensive it was, how 'special' it was - they meant what they said. And we always thank them for teaching us those lessons.
Sorry if this post comes off as rude - I'm trying to be as gentle as possible and get my point across.

Me too.

 

[churchpilot]

"Ahhhhh I'd be hard pressed to sit by and let your husband talk to my children in an disciple type manner."

Your child spits on our stroller after terrorizing you and your husband, I can assure you my husband will have something to say about it. He did make eye contact with both parents after the incident and they refused to acknowledge it happened, and since we were still within firing range, he nipped it in the bud. Dealing with parental fallout at that point was the least of our worries!

 

[JenM]

My friend's kids broke out into a fistfight over an autograph book in front of Snow White at Magic Kingdom a few years back. Once she settled them down, she apologized to Snow White and said "You live with seven men, so you understand, right?"

 

[Suellen]

"Ahhhhh I'd be hard pressed to sit by and let your husband talk to my children in an disciple type manner."

Your child spits on our stroller after terrorizing you and your husband, I can assure you my husband will have something to say about it. He did make eye contact with both parents after the incident and they refused to acknowledge it happened, and since we were still within firing range, he nipped it in the bud. Dealing with parental fallout at that point was the least of our worries!

Then he can deal with me and NOT intimidate my child or point his finger in her face. And trust me if he does get all up in my childs face he will be dealing with me.

Totally INAPPROPRIATE!

I'm sure your stroller and day was just completely ruined.

 

[LilyWDW]

luckyprincess, you don't seem so lucky if you don't have kids, and dont want them. And you are not very Mickeyish for those that do. You post on the subject but do not have the experiance to post on what you don't know. I wish you better than a house full of cats.

Okay, that is out of line and ridicules. Just because someone does not want children does not mean they will end up with a house full of cats. It doesn't mean they will have less of a life. It is their personal wants for their lives. You don't know why someone doesn't want kids, so get your nose out of their business about it.

And luckyprincess is a wonderful and sweet person. However, like many other people, she has an opinion. Obviously her opinion is not the same as yours and, as it happens WAY too much around here, that means she's a horrible person.

Well guess what? Just because someone thinks differently then you doesn't make them a bad person.