Seven days. Seven.
One. Week.
One week until I'm standing in the lobby of my beautiful Grand Floridian, probably misting over and getting all teary-eyed with pregnancy hormone induced emotions...uh oh, there it goes now LOL...thinking of the last time I was there and how far I've come.
The last time I stayed at the Grand Flo, I was young. I was 22, I'd just gotten married, and I was sharing the most incredible honeymoon with my DH.
Now, I'm 30. In June, we'll have been married for eight years. We have a beautiful son, and a baby on the way. We live in an apartment I love, in a town I love, in a place where family is never too far away.
I may not work on my painting (I have a BFA in Painting for those of you who don't know) or draw consistently, but I write. I write in my journal, and I write on the DIS, and when I can express my creativity by making a Halloween costume for my son or coming up with fun crafts for us to do, I feel good. I should get back to painting, but that will come in time. Life's focus can shift, and for now, it's about family.
The little peanut, and the bean on the way. And my wonderful DH. A man who works two jobs to support us, who will go to Disney every year because he loves it just as much as I do. A man who thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and attractive no matter how fat and pregnant I may feel, who loves me and loves our children and takes care of me. Just like I take care of him, take care of all of us.
It's amazing how far you can come in eight years. If you'd told me then, that naive but happy 22 year old that I was, that we would go through what we've been through, I wouldn't have believed you. If you'd told me there would be a point in time when DH and I would both lose our jobs, I would have been shocked.
But it was that turning point (when my son was about a year old) that brought us to where we are today. And it's been quite a journey. It's impossible not to think of these things when you go to Disney, because as much as home is part of your history, Disney is part of it too.
It is a part of you in a way that nothing else is. It is your happy place. You've had good and bad times there, but you always go back to it. You always want one more piece of that magic.
I should tell you right now, we did not get the condo. The seller accepted the other offer.
And you know what? I'm glad. I'm glad and I'm relieved. For one, I know I can sleep tonight! But most importantly, I know that we're meant to be where we are right now, and where we are right now, I am happy with. I am happy in this apartment and happy with our plans for here. I know we will make our child care work out and I know things will be fine. I have faith in the plan, and faith in us.
And you know what else? Buying a home right now would have been doable but there would have been absolutely no wiggle room in our budget. That would have gone by the wayside to condo fees and heating bills and home repairs.
And that great thing about not having to pay for any of those things, about renting and living where we are right now is that I don't have to worry so much. There is wiggle room in our budget, and there will be more trips to Disney.
That, I think, more than anything else scared me. It may sound selfish, or weird, but my trips to Disney are my life raft. My vacation there once a year is what we save for, it's what we look forward to, what we plan in great detail. We love them, we cherish them, we wait for them. And when we think it's appropriate and right for us, I will so look forward to taking the bean for the first time. To seeing my son be a big brother in Disney. To watching him share the magic with his baby brother or sister. That will be a whole new magic all its own.
I will think about all of this when I set foot in the Grand Floridian lobby, and as we slide the key card into our room, and open those doors.
I am here. I have come so far. And I am still home.
Next Chapter
I've never really gone through the buying process. My DH owned our house before we married, so we bought out his roommate.
Make sure you take lots of pictures at the tea, okay? 
I come back for a few minutes to read something that sweet and touching? 
I hope you and your mom have a great time!!! 
Cuz srsly, this is a book. 
