I'm really enjoying your TR. I love your writing style. I am also not close with my soon to be BIL. I see them on holidays but we have never been to their home, nor have they been to our new apartment. We brought the nieces and nephews gifts home from our last WDW trip and we still haven't heard a thank you...or even acknowledgement. I totally get where you are coming from as I am very close with my brother.
Thank you! That is so sweet
Ah...thank you's. Acknowldegment. Two things that go a very very long way and are rarely used by many.
That reminds me that Eric and Kendall both need to write their birthday thank you's, starting tonight! Thanks for the nudge. Sadly it is not common for kids to write them anymore, my kids can't stand it but they will thank me one day as it will be ingrained in them. I am grateful my folks made me do it. Nothing takes the place of a handwritten note! Especially if it is on cute personalized note cards. Yes, I use my kids to feed my obsession with cute and clever correspondence. It never hurts to take a post mortem and ask if the kids liked the items, sometimes that spurs a response! I know my MIL was upset that Kendall hadn't thanked her for some makeup she sent. I didn't even know she'd sent it so couldn't nag Kendall, Jeff seems to think Kendall should just call her grandma (which isn't going to happen) and Sandie was too busy being hurt to call K. Ugh.
Had I known I could have nagged and there would have been a written note but gosh, you can't force a phone relationship with a 13 year old!
You know, I'll take "not close" over high maintenance and difficult any day. I had one of those once, a exSIL who shall not be named. Oh that woman did a number on my wedding. And yet she is STILL mad at me about something else even though we haven't been "related" in 8 years! That's another scary in law story but I'll spare you.
Not close and just "different" is fine with me!
There is a reason I still consider my exMIL an in-law, she doesn't want me to leave her with just exSIL as her only daughter in law. And besides, she is the grandmother of my E's! I know how hard it can be, harder I think when there are kids involved. All you can do is your best, and keep trying. You never know, once you guys have kids things could change, or they might not. Is your DF close to his brother? If so then eventually you probably will be too but if not, that's just their dynamic I guess.
Families are like marriages. Work! But always worth it, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. I think it's too important to just grow farther and farther apart though inaction, although it's much easier that's for sure!
That said. I know my family is rare. We are a clan to be sure. I can't wait to plan another WDW giant trip with them one of these days. It was SUCH a great trip! Blew away the DL trip we did 2 years prior to that. SO much fun!!! I hope to have a girls only trip over the next couple of years, either during F&W or Flower and Garden.
But it is hard on the spouses/fiances. My new BIL to be is still a bit gun shy and freaked out by all of us but I think he will come around. Somehow we all always seem to pick a spouse that only has one sibling and a small extended family. But oh do we have fun! I am very very blessed. So excited to go look at wedding venues with my little sis (and middle sis) later today! btw I updated my bio pics (had to do some photobucket re-orging and broke my links) and you can see my wrap if you want lol.
Hi Cynthia!
Finally made it through, and I must say your introductions are quite detailed, putting mine to the kind of shame one feels when just taken a glug out of the milk carton and gets caught!!
Seems like every family has its minefields and funky dynamics. I'm 42, and just now learning more of the deeper family dirt! Odd how parents can sorta just keep it hidden like something moldy and oozing the back of the fridge you pray won't be found by your MIL when she comes to visit.
Anyway, your family is looks like a great one! I love your detailed descriptions of each one-and it's so very obvious you love them to pieces!
Looking forward to more...
Liesa
Hi Liesa! first of all....
I'm probably oversharing lol! Considering I did virtually NO introductions on my last PTR and TR I'm compensating. And I really enjoy reading others histories and figured with 11 months...I need something to talk about
I LOVE your PTR, don't change a thing.
Better to just get caught drinking out of the jug, then dribbling it all down your front which is usually my style!
And truth be told, it's a lot simpler when it is just your immediate family. You know that dirt and those dynamics like the back of your hand and have years of training of how to deal with it. Or ignore it. Or laugh at it. With inlaws, there is a learning curve!
There are still agendas to be sure but you are the main stakeholder. In a trip like this, we've got a lot of influencing factors which may well equal drama and changes. So I figure better to lay it out up front, so everyone can talk me off a ledge if and when it happens!! I may have great intentions on focusing on moments...on breathing in the pretty colors and breathing out the bad but...I am human. But I do love them to pieces!