Chpt 44 - Wishes at the Poly
In case you’ve just joined us. We were on the last night of our WDW vacation....which coincidentally just happens to be our last chance to catch Wishes. We jumped on the monorail and headed for the Poly.....leaving MK....and common sense safely behind. As we rounded the tracks....I tried to remember exactly what I had read on the Disboards about watching Wishes from the Poly beach. I seemed to recall something about going to the left of the boat dock.....where there were supposed to be speakers that piped in the Wishes music......although I was having a little trouble concentrating because I couldn’t get the mental picture of Gerald Ford wearing one of those Rockette ostrich feather headdresses out of my mind. Anyway, as we approached the stop for the TTC....I made the snap decision to exit there..... instead of riding the monorail all the way to the Polynesian Resort....because earlier in the day I had noticed that the Poly beach was just to the left of the ferry boat dock at the TTC.
Ok.....here’s the problem. This was all taking too much time...and it was getting pretty close to the time when Wishes was supposed to start. We tried walking down to the waters edge at the TTC and then cutting across to the Poly Beach but it was all blocked off with electrified fences topped with razor wire. I have no idea what's going on down there....but apparently its hush-hush. In fact, we got yelled at by some security guard from his little glass house....who I'm pretty sure fired a warning shot across our bow. After we explained our dilemma, he released me from his choke-hold and told us that we would have to walk back up to the top of the TTC area and then cut through the Poly Parking lot.
At this point, my life was in serious danger....because a quick check of the trusty wristwatch indicated that it was nearly showtime. We finally made it to the Poly resort grounds...but it was dark and confusing with trails wandering off in all directions. Plus, I was being distracted by a very vivid memory of being pulled out of a warm bath into a blinding light by a tall man in a white coat who then proceeded to smack my bottom. Oh my gosh! Was that my life flashing before my eyes? That can’t be a good sign. This had only happened to me once before when I had bet a highschool buddy that I could swim to the other side of a small lake....and was only half way across when I realized I was wrong. Did I die? Well, you are probably assuming I didn't because I'm writing this TR. Then again, you probably didn't realize Bruce Willis was dead the whole time in the
Sixth Sense either...now didja.
Anyway, we finally emerged onto the Poly beach.....on the far right hand side....just to the left of the ferry boat dock.....with a couple of minutes to spare. Man, now that had been a close shave. Tinkershell and I grabbed a couple of vacant lounge chairs while the kids plopped down in the sand. By the way, at what age do people start looking for chairs instead of plopping down on the ground? That’s what I wanted to know. You start out in life spending most of your time on the ground.....crawling and rolling and playing.....and then end your life trying to stay off the ground......because if you’re on the ground something bad has happened....and you’re left wishing that you hadn’t been too proud to carry that life-alert gadget somebody had given you last Christmas....because now you’ve fallen and you can’t get up.
Actually, I could have told you the exact age it happened for me.....except my life stopped flashing before my eyes as soon as we caught sight of the beach. In fact, I had only gotten to the part where I was about five years old....and I sat on my grandmother’s cellophane-covered birthday cake that my mom had placed on the floor in the backseat of our car. I knew the cake was there when we started the trip....but then my older sister started telling me a funny story and I lost track of where I was. When my mom carried the cake into Grandma’s party, it had two deep distinct little butt-cheek imprints in the top of it. "Happy Birthday Grandma! I hope you enjoy your butt cake. Love, Peter".
Anyway, it was 6:00 sharp.....so cue the music. Hmmmm, that’s odd. Where’s the music? We started to see tiny fireworks off across the bay....but where was the beautiful Wishes score that was supposed to accompany our tiny fireworks? Which lead me to my next question. Why were the fireworks so tiny? So we all sat there in silence....without any Wishes music....and watched tiny fireworks across the bay. At this point, it was pitch dark on the Poly beach, but I was pretty sure that Tinkershell was feeling around her lounge chair for any type of a large rock that she could bludgeon me with......because it was time to pay the piper. There was nothing I could do about it........I was a dead man walking.
In retrospect, here’s what I think happened.....I’m a moron. But to be more specific, I think that when people on the Disboards were talking about finding a spot on the Poly beach to the left of the boat docks where you could hear the Wishes music, they were referring to the Poly boat dock....not the ferry boat dock. As for the tiny fireworks, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe the beach curves towards the MK so severely that the Poly boat dock is way closer to the fireworks than the TTC boat dock......or maybe they've equiped it with some type of giant magnifying glass that allows you to actually see the fireworks without squinting. I just can’t be sure. Anyway, the kids didn’t seem to mind.....they had a blast playing on the beach. Unfortunately, Tinkershell didn't want sand castles. She wanted Wishes.
Tiny fireworks? What tiny fireworks?
Anyway, we still had our ADR at the Kona Café. My only chance of survival rested in the hope that Tinkershell would find dinner so enjoyable that she would forget her murderous intentions. I was right about one thing.....we did have a very short walk to the restaurant, which was conveniently located on the second floor of the Poly. I briefly considered pointing this out to Tinkershell.....but then thought better of it. I think it was the wild look in her eyes that made me change my mind......that, and the fact that somewhere along the beach she had picked up a large stick.....and was slowly and lovingly wittling one end down to a nasty sharp tip.
After we checked in with the Kona hostess, we took our reservation doo-hickey back outside the restaurant to find a bench along the wall. Tinkershell was too agitated to sit.....so she paced back and forth by the 2nd floor railing.....occasionally glaring in my direction.....as she muttered darkly and repeatedly smashed her fist into her palm. I excused myself to use the restroom, hoping to find a small window that I could crawl through and slip safely into the night. Nuts.....tight as a drum! I briefly considered scrawling a plea for help on the mirror over the sink.....but Tinkershell would see that move coming a mile away....plus I still couldn't remember the number for 911. If only Pal Mickey were here.....I could have sent him through the air vents for help.....like a little furry Tom Cruise in
Mission Impossible. But Pal Mickey was gone. It was at that point that I accepted my fate.....and a deep peace settled over me as I rejoined my family outside the restaurant. Because, it was at this point that I knew that soon I would be reunited with Pal Mickey.
Eventually, our reservation doo-hickey thingamajiggy started to vibrate and flash....which was Kona’s subtle announcement that our table was ready. After we were seated, waitress so-and-so came up and introduced herself....and then asked us if we wanted to start with some drinks. Of course, drinks! Why hadn’t I thought of this earlier. Maybe a couple of drinks would change Tinkershell’s perspective on this whole Wishes fiasco. It had certainly done the trick on the night when I proposed marriage to her....because her initial reaction of "over my dead body" had somehow magically transformed into "til death do us part."
Anyway, after a couple of pre-dinner cocktails (I made the martinis triple-strength......and she feels wonderful), Tinkershell ordered the filet mignon and I had one of the best teriyaki steaks I had ever eaten. Then again, since it was technically my last meal.....you may want to take that review with a grain of salt. For I have heard that your senses are heightened when you are facing imminent death....which I certainly was on that particular evening. And then a miracle happened. Tinkershell was served the kahlua torte for dessert....and she loved it so much that she forgot to murder me for making her miss Wishes. I don’t know what they put in that dessert, but apparently one of the ingredients was forgiveness.
Next up: Chpt 45 - Heading for home
I hope you do find the beach and that Pal Mickey is there on a lounge chair with a drink in one hand and a red head sitting by his side....
It's a good thing that Tinkershell didn't murder you, otherwise I don't think you'd be writing this trip report in the same way you are today. I'm also glad to hear that Kona was a success.
I've heard many TR's sing the praises of Kona's breakfast, but not too many on the dinner side. I think I'd like to try it for lunch, this was my one stipulation to DH that we have at least one sit down meal while we are there, so Kona would be it. Do you have any other suggestions of a place that I should really try?
Stop! Stop! 
