Saturday, October 11th - Fantasia Mini Golf: Threadbare and Somewhat Shabby ... Only Food Can Restore Our Disney Equilibrium.
Breakfast on this sultry, cloudy morning consisted of coffee and leftover Main Street Bakery cinnamon rolls while we discussed at length just how we wanted to spend our valuable vacation time on a Saturday that happened to fall on a holiday weekend. Although I have to admit that I've never really considered Columbus Day a real holiday. I mean, as a member of the financial community ...
don't blame me, I didn't engage in risky lending practices ... I'm always happy to have an extra day off but who among us truly celebrates the discovery of the New World by bored, greedy, germ-laden Europeans? I cant speak for anyone else, but I typically use Columbus Day as an excuse to book extra spa treatments.
And please dont interpret that comment about the European explorers as the revisionist history ravings of a PC Thug. We dont subscribe to that line of thinking and we both hate political correctness
its a little too
1984 for our tastes. Anyway, Jay and I being who we are, the mention of Columbus Day led to a brief discussion of the why behind its observance in the first place. It went something like this:
B: What gives with crediting the discovery to Columbus anyway? He never made it any further than Hispaniola in 1492. Actually, I don't think he ever made it to the actual North American continent, did he?
J: The Vikings made it as far as Nova Scotia about 400 years earlier. Or maybe it was New Foundland. It was one of those cold places that starts with the letter "N".
B: Well then why isn't there a commemorative day for them? Vikings are cool.
J: Leif Ericson Day doesnt have quite the same ring to it.
B: Maybe that old school rhyme doesn't work as well with the Vikings. Hmmmm, let's see ...
In 1003 or 1002
Ericson sailed the ocean blue
A single longship was all he had
Filled with 35 Vikings, all crazy-mad!
J: You may have a way with words but poetry is not your strength ... don't quit your day job.
B: I don't like poetry much anyway. I've never understood the appeal of not really saying what you mean to say while not using enough words to make a complete sentence in the first place. I can appreciate the talent of people like Yeats and Byron and Wadsworth and Burns and so on and so forth, but after about five minutes I just want to hurl the book across the room and scream, "GET TO THE DAMN POINT ALREADY!!!"
Author's note: the irony inherent in the above statement in light of my own ramblings has been duly noted. 
J: You've obviously had too much caffeine and sugar for breakfast. We'd better avoid the crowds and go play miniature golf so that you can burn off some of that aggression."
And just like that the decision was made: Fantasia Gardens it was ... as soon as we caught an Epcot bus, walked through the park to the International Gateway, strolled around the Boardwalk and across the Swolphin Gateway to finally reach our destination. We haven't played the course in something like five years, so we were really looking forward to goofing around and working up an appetite just in time for second breakfast.
There were a few more people playing that morning than we expected but nothing too bad; certainly not anything like the crowds we experienced one summer evening back in 1997 when we tried to take my nephews over for a round of fanciful mini-golf only to be told there was a two-hour wait to start playing.
Once we started our round, Jay and I were saddened to find the course looking a bit threadbare and pardon the pun ... not quite up to par. The colors werent nearly as vibrant as when wed last played there and many of the fountains and water-gags that were supposed to delight us during our game werent working. And perhaps worst of all, the movie score wasn't being played around the course!!!
At least the Sorcerer Mickey topiary is still there to welcome everyone to the course. But doesn't Mickey look like he's posing as a rodent lightning rod? Maybe it's an inside joke ... Sorcerer Mickey is a conductor on more than one level!
Musical conductor or electrical conductor? You be the judge!
My absolute favorite scenes from
Fantasia involve the
Dance of the Hours segment which has been divided into four acts, just like the ballet. I find the whole movement absolutely hysterical but the final two acts are the ones I like best:
The Evening, with the elephants and prima ballerina hippo; and,
The Night, where the caped alligators make their appearance and everything eventually dissolves into a mad chase with gators, hippos, elephants, and ostriches. Every time I watch this part of the movie I find myself wondering what the actual intent of those alligators is. Do they want to:
a) Befriend the other animals?
b) Cross-breed with the other animals?
c) Feast on the other animals?
d) All of the above?
Jay took a picture of me with my favorites: Prima Ballerina Hippo and her dashing Lead Alligator. A funny but not unexpected thing happened here - in order to play this hole with the fewest strokes the player must hit her ball into the alligator's open mouth ... it will roll through his belly and pop out of his tail right next to the cup. It took me four tries to get my ball into the gator's mouth because I kept ricocheting off his jaws. Now I understand why the army doesn't want people with bad vision to have guns.
I'm positively svelte next to her!
Jason consented to have his picture taken with one of the elephants on a different hole. It looks like he's being naughty but he's actually asking where the heck the water is that is supposed to shoot from the elephant's trunk.
I see definite Rococo elements in this sculpture.
We finished the course with scores that were actually pretty close to each other. The pathetic thing about that is that I actually made four hole-in-one shots throughout the 18-hole course, but because of my overall bad play on other holes I still lost the match to Jay. Oh well, I'm comfortable with my suckitude, and besides ... it was time for our second breakfast / first lunch!
Upon re-entering Epcot through the International Gateway from which wed exited about 90 minutes earlier (which earned us a funny look from the same CM who waved us out) we immediately turned right and headed for a flurry of foodnwine snacking to hold us over until Party for the Senseless later that evening.
First Stop: Louisiana!
Hungry is as hungry does, so we ordered the lot: Louisiana Seafood Gumbo, Crawfish Etouffe, and Praline Bread Pudding with Bourbon Caramel Sauce. To wash down the goodness we ordered more water and twelve ounces of Abita Purple Haze beer.
I preferred the gumbo to the etouffe, even though I do like crawfish (mmm, mudbugs); there was too much spice in the etouffe for my taste, so after a bite or two I relinquished it to Jay who was more than happy to polish it off. We thought the Purple Haze paired nicely with both choices - it was a fairly light wheat beer with some fruity elements ... it smelled like raspberries and was very drinkable but not exactly remarkable. The bread pudding was excellent even if it was crawling with pralines - it was warm and moist and the sauce was so good I was tempted to go back and ask for a separate cup ala' Grimace.
The Louisiana exhibit was hosted by the state's Office of Tourism. Along with the food booth, there were daily culinary seminars and a pretty good band playing a nice mix of music. There was also a small area called the French Market which offered regional products like Tobasco Sauce and Beignet Mix at the to-be-expected Disney mark-up. The area was designed to resemble the French Quarter ... sort of. The effect was nice, but that's about all I can say. We probably would have liked it more if there'd been a daiquiri stand.
Once our initial hunger pangs were somewhat alleviated and I'd paid a nostalgic visit to Morocco's bathroom, we found ourselves at our second stop:
New Zealand!
We ordered the Bay Scallops with Baby Greens and Cranberry Vinaigrette along with a Lamb Slider on a Brioche Roll. Our beverage of choice here was Dasani, and it sure hit the spot! The food servings were quite generous - that salad was chock full of tasty little scallops but they were a tad on the chewy side. The lamb was very good - tender and flavorful and while I'm not a fan of gravy in this case it eased the dryness of the roll and made for a lovely little snackable.
Our final food stop of the day was San Francisco, where the line was long and slow and the air was still and heavy.
If you're going to San Francisco be sure to wear some flowers in your hair...
Once again we ordered the lot: Roasted Beet Salad with Goat Cheese, Seared Beef Medallion with Cheddar Cheese Polenta, and California Strawberry Shortcake. Our random alcoholic beverage of choice: Rosenblum Cellars Kathys Cuvee Viognier.
Despite the rather lengthy wait for the food, it was all terrific - a highlight of food booth snackery during our visit. We thought the portion sizes were all generous and everything tasted wonderful. The beet salad was fresh and crisp and the goat cheese was creamy and tart. The cheddar cheese polenta had good flavor even if it was rather gritty at times and the seared beef was tender and juicy. And while I'm not a big strawberry shortcake kind of person, this was lovely ... lots of fresh, slightly tart strawberries tucked between two soft rounds of shortcake and slathered with whipped cream. As for the Cuvee we selected, we both really liked it. Some sparkling wines seem to have a bit of a bite to them but this one was very smooth and while sweet, it wasn't cloying.
Jay and I decided after this last stop that we would head back to the resort and spend the afternoon at the pool before coming back for PFTS. As we were headed up the hill from the San Francisco booth's odd location on the fringes of Japan, we passed into America-town where the fife and drum corps was making an appearance.
Here for the second time in one day Jay and I struggled with our respective inner history geeks. Is Epcots version of America-town supposed to be based upon Colonial Williamsburg? If thats the case then we cant quibble as much with the red coats since at that time everyone in the colonies was a British subject. However, if this is supposed to be a more revolutionary or even post-revolutionary setting then we suspect the color of their coats is all wrong. And even if we dismissed the corps' clothing, we had to take issue with their choice of music:
The Battle Hymn of the Republic. It's an abolitionist song written by Julia Ward Howe in 1861 it became very popular with Union troops during the American
unCivil War. And lest anyone think in our geeky musings we forgot that all Ms. Howe did was re-cast the lyrics to a song published earlier
we did not! The original version of the song was written circa-1855 as a campfire spiritual.
Either way its not an appropriate song for the Colonial-era fife and drum corps to be playing if theyre gunning for authenticity. I turned to Jay and asked him if Disney was growing lazy or if they thought the majority of their guests were ignorant.
Jay paused a moment, his head tilted slightly to the left as he is wont to do when pondering something especially interesting, and then he responded, I think its a little from column A and a little from column B.
On a purely personal note I was disappointed not to hear them perform
Yankee Doodle, but maybe we were too late to catch that tune. Jay was no doubt relieved that we didn't get to hear the song because it would just further encourage bad behavior on my part. But it was already too late ... the lack of musical accompaniment did not prevent me from serenading Jason and any other guests who were unfortunate enough to be within earshot of my less than pleasing vocal stylings.
Jay was on the receiving end of this version of
Yankee Doodle when we honeymooned in Colonial Williamsburg nearly ten years ago (hey, its what history geeks do).
Ahem.
Yankee Doodle came to town,
Riding on chicken;
Stuck a finger up its' butt,
And called it finger-lickin!
And on that disgusting note, we made for Epcot's front entrance and an air conditioned bus back to Saratoga Springs for an afternoon of pool lounging and beverage imbibing. Next up ... Party for the Senseless!
Hi, Joanne!! I know just the place to find the wine and cheese... 
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