Wedding Day Toasts?

[Pomlover2586]

Df and I are having a very simple wedding party.......my sister [who will be under 13] is the MOH and DF almost brother [age 17] will be the BM. Due to the ages of the attendents we are considering not having wedding day toasts. I'm concerned about what they would say as well as the fact that my sister in particular is not a good public speaker.....she's shy and quite and I know this would be a huge stress for her.......The first thing she asked me when I asked her to be my MOH was "Ok.....I don't have to make a speech do I?"

This topic came up tonight and DF's parents both had a fit over the fact that we weren't having speeches......saying "oh well you at least need to let S do his, he'll do a good job!" I told them if one did it the other would have to and it's just not somthing we want. At which point FFIL sai to me "you need to let go of some things or you'll end up being a bridezilla!" Ok.......that was way harsh! So far i've been nothing but polite when saying no to certain ideas and I have no intentions of becomming a bridezilla........

So my question to you all is what do you think? I thought if they wanted they could say somthing on the wedding video instead, that way theres no pressure......Have you ever seen a wedding with no toasts and if so did the bride/groom do somthing in place of it? Like an attendent dance or somthing? Thanks!

 

[DisBride2007]

The first thing she asked me when I asked her to be my MOH was "Ok.....I don't have to make a speech do I?"

when I read this... our BM (DH's brother) said the EXACT same thing! Anyway, there are no "rules" when it comes to this. If your wedding party does not feel comfortable making speeches, I wouldn't have them make a speech. Actually I thought the toast was usually done by the BM, not the MOH. We asked my father to make the toast instead of the BM, but you wouldn't have to have anyone do this if you don't want to. Bottom line is... it's YOUR wedding, so YOU make the rules! Just make sure people understand their role BEFORE the reception begins, then you can relax and enjoy yourself!

 

[sunsh1ne]

hmmm this is hard one?? well i think if i read your words properly the best man wants to? if so he could do one and not the maid of honor if not i do not think it is a big deal if they dont do a speech. now i have only been to two weddings mine will be my third so i do not have much experience but.. maybe you a df can do a speech to your quests instead. i am probubly no help but i try! hehe

i am interested to hear what others say

 

[Pomlover2586]

Thank You Both for your kind responses! The BM didn't seem to want to either.....he was nervous about it and apparently his mother is writing his speech for him! DF is going to call him later this evening and let him know this is not necessary. DF parents are the ones who said we should let the BM make his toast.....but he seems just as nervous as my sister! Thanks again!

 

[hmgolden]

What if one of your parents gave a quick speech instead? Personally, I think the speeches are a way of thanking everyone for coming to wedding, but they aren't necessary. If you don't want them, I don't think you need to have them, and they certainly aren't worth causing anyone any stress over them!

 

[hiwaygal]

What if one of your parents gave a quick speech instead? Personally, I think the speeches are a way of thanking everyone for coming to wedding, but they aren't necessary. If you don't want them, I don't think you need to have them, and they certainly aren't worth causing anyone any stress over them!

I agree with hmgolden...

Another option would be to maybe make a brief speech yourselves...

 

[wendy46001]

I agree with hmgolden...

Another option would be to maybe make a brief speech yourselves...

I like the idea of thanking everyone yourselves...

 

[Glorydaz]

I personally don't think anyone should be pressured into having to make a speech - our BM will be my DF's nephew. we haven't even discussed a toast yet but I do know there are no hard and fast rules. any of your parents can make a speech, as well as any of your friends that wish so or other family members. in our case, I know we plan on saying a short thank-you to our guests and having a small toast to thank them for being a part of our special day....

Michelle

 

[Kismetdreams]

At our wedding, the BM did make a speech, but only because he wanted to. My sister (MOH) did not and no one even noticed. We did make a speech ourselves thanking everyone for coming, tho.

As far as your FFIL saying you could become a bridezilla, I didn't let anyone in my family say how our wedding day should go. They all had thier day the way they wanted it, and this was our day. When someone gave me an opinion or demand on what they wanted, I said "Thank you for your advice/opinion/thoughts, but we have decided that we would like it to be this way for our wedding." Not sure if that will work for you, but it's an option.

 

[Pomlover2586]

I'm sure DF and I will make some type of toast thanking everyone for comming etc. DF spoke to the BM and he too was more then relieved when he told him a speech was not necessary! DF spoke with his mom as well [the one who was writing the speech] and she was fine with it too saying "Well thats good at least he won't be stressing on that." I dunno why FMIL and FFIL were so adament we have toasts.....normally there both fairly easy going................ Oh well at least the BM and MOH know for sure now and we won't have any unwanted toasts. Thanks You all for your help!

 

[Chantelle]

We didn't really know what to do for the cake cutting/toast portion of our wedding so we wrote speeches to each other. I made a toast to my new husband and he did a toast to me. We didnt' write our own vows, but this was kind of the same idea and made for a nice moment together. Plus it saved anyone else from having to worry about writing speeches.