Yesterday I was disappointed. Today I don't know how to feel. (Added pictures 8/1)

[desiab]

Bare with me as this is a long convoluted story.

Deleting the saga since it is causing issues with the family.

 

[FormrCastMbr]

I am sorry you are going through this. I would be very hurt.

At this point, I guess I would be done with it and let them make all the changes - you have worked hard enough. Next time, don't go out of your way.

Again, many .

 

[mcarthur205]

What are they playing at? Its very late in the day to be changing reception venues!

Anyway, I would be absolutely furious and very hurt, and I would probably let them know exactly how I felt! I'd wash my hands of the whole project and let them get on with it, its their loss. You did your best.

CarolAnn.

 

[Glorydaz]

personally, I would tell them as nice as possible how you have extended yourself out of LOVE to make their day go as smooth as possible. I don't think I would change it at this last minute when you have obviously put your heart and soul into this - asking nothing in return.

if they still decide to make the change, let the SIL who found the new place arrange to have everything taken care of, explain the situation as best to the dance studio owner and leave it be.

I would be very hurt and very put out. however, their wedding is this Saturday. I think it's way too late in the game to make this huge a change but the decision is ultimately theirs. I just wouldn't go out of my way at all at this point if they change venues.

just my opinion ... but I do feel very badly for you...

Michelle

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

Man I feel really bad for you!!

This SIL should by bound & gagged until the wedding is over

i believe you went above & beyond to help out the B&G & SIL has managed to completely ruin all your hard work!! what a ^%@#...sorry...i mean why did she have to wait until the LAST minute to pull this stunt!!

Well it seems like there are a few people who dont appreciate you so at this point I would wash my hands of it & tell SIL "its all yours" and hand her the list of changes needed to be done cause she decided to play wedding planner!

again I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you & you can bet if you did this for me....i would have been thanking you & hugging you all the time & acknowledging your hard work by halting SIL

Chin up & keep us posted

 

[desiab]

I am sorry you are going through this. I would be very hurt.

At this point, I guess I would be done with it and let them make all the changes - you have worked hard enough. Next time, don't go out of your way.

Again, many .

My husband warned me beforehand that something was bound to happen because something always does with his sister. After every party I help with I tell myself there isn't going to be a next time and there always is. How dumb am I?

I learned my lesson with this wedding. Thanks for the .

What are they playing at? Its very late in the day to be changing reception venues!

Anyway, I would be absolutely furious and very hurt, and I would probably let them know exactly how I felt! I'd wash my hands of the whole project and let them get on with it, its their loss. You did your best.

CarolAnn.

I am too hurt right now to tell them how I feel, but later down the rode maybe.

personally, I would tell them as nice as possible how you have extended yourself out of LOVE to make their day go as smooth as possible. I don't think I would change it at this last minute when you have obviously put your heart and soul into this - asking nothing in return.

if they still decide to make the change, let the SIL who found the new place arrange to have everything taken care of, explain the situation as best to the dance studio owner and leave it be.

I would be very hurt and very put out. However, their wedding is this Saturday. I think it's way too late in the game to make this huge a change but the decision is ultimately theirs. I just wouldn't go out of my way at all at this point if they change venues.

just my opinion ... but I do feel very badly for you...

Michelle

I am still stunned that they would pull a stunt like this just days before the wedding. They are sticking with their decision to move everything. The groom has tried to call this morning to "take responsibility" for what has happened. I am just not ready to talk to him right now.

Thanks Michelle for your hugs and concern. My other niece and friend that were with me last night both are named Michelle.

 

[Glorydaz]

take a deep breath, stay FAR away from all the last minute planning since you have most definitely done your part!, go to the wedding Saturday, give your niece a huge hug and stick to your guns not to help where this SIL is involved!

I've learned many things in life through our own trials, tribulations and tragedies but the most important is: you cannot go back in time. do not waste time playing the what-if game. take what you've learned from this life lesson and apply if ever needed. oh and always feel free to come here and vent, storm, cry, question. we've all been there in one way or another and this group is incredibly giving!

Michelle

 

[desiab]

Man I feel really bad for you!!

Well it seems like there are a few people who dont appreciate you so at this point I would wash my hands of it & tell SIL "its all yours" and hand her the list of changes needed to be done cause she decided to play wedding planner!

again I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you & you can bet if you did this for me....i would have been thanking you & hugging you all the time & acknowledging your hard work by halting SIL

Chin up & keep us posted

Well I have about 200 seed packets, 400 mini wrapped Hershey's, 20 full-sized wrapped Hershey's, 200 decorated favor bags, a photo guest book and 175 printed & tied programs with their monogram on it. I am sure I could fix it up for you.

My husband just called to say that he talked to the groom and the groom is doing some major apologizing today. I believe that his mom (a corporate event planner) is picking up the pieces to try to salvage what is left of the reception.

My DH also told him that I would not be having anything further to do with the wedding or the reception, as far as working or organizing. We will be there for the rehearsal and wedding because my daughter is in it. But otherwise until I get to the point of not feeling so upset we wouldn't be around much the next few days.

This evening DH is taking all of the stuff I have over to my MIL's for them to pick up. Including all of the food for the reception. I hope I don't sound childish when I say that I am not volunteering any of my serving pieces, plates, platters, or utensils. I am just showing up to the wedding to see my child.

 

[desiab]

take a deep breath, stay FAR away from all the last minute planning since you have most definitely done your part!, go to the wedding Saturday, give your niece a huge hug and stick to your guns not to help where this SIL is involved!

I've learned many things in life through our own trials, tribulations and tragedies but the most important is: you cannot go back in time. do not waste time playing the what-if game. take what you've learned from this life lesson and apply if ever needed. oh and always feel free to come here and vent, storm, cry, question. we've all been there in one way or another and this group is incredibly giving!

Michelle

That sounds a lot like what my husband has been telling me and what he told the groom today.

 

[theantibride]

BIG HUGS coming at ya! It sounds like your SIL just steamrolled over everything and the bride & groom didn't want a fight. I mean, 4 days before the big day I can't imagine trying to fight someone on a venue location I'd probably do the same as they did and throw int he towel cause at that point I think my stress level will be up to here! I think the whole thing could have been handled better, yes. But the groom is TRYING to make amends with you and you should let him. Even if it hurts. Because at this point in time an unaccepted apology is just one more thing hanging over their heads that they don't need. So hear him out and accept his apology and then just explain that you are exhausted from what you had done before everything got changed and you cannot help anywhere. It's a perfect excuse and you don't have to go into detail about hurt feelings or anything at that point intime. And at the wedding show up, smile, try to enjoy yourself, and take along a muzzle for your SIL!

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

That is mild compared to the things I said last night! I offered to buy my BIL a couple of choke collars for my SIL because she has started a fight with the family every day since she came into town. I don't understand what has to be going on in her head to make her think that her behavior is acceptable. My husband said that he was really embarrassed at the way she is acting.



Well I have about 200 seed packets, 400 mini wrapped Hershey's, 20 full-sized wrapped Hershey's, 200 decorated favor bags, a photo guest book and 175 printed & tied programs with their monogram on it. I am sure I could fix it up for you.

My husband just called to say that he talked to the groom and the groom is doing some major apologizing today. I believe that his mom (a corporate event planner) is picking up the pieces to try to salvage what is left of the reception.

My DH also told him that I would not be having anything further to do with the wedding or the reception, as far as working or organizing. We will be there for the rehearsal and wedding because my daughter is in it. But otherwise until I get to the point of not feeling so upset we wouldn't be around much the next few days.

This evening DH is taking all of the stuff I have over to my MIL's for them to pick up. Including all of the food for the reception. I hope I don't sound childish when I say that I am not volunteering any of my serving pieces, plates, platters, or utensils. I am just showing up to the wedding to see my child.

you dont sound childish at all....this couldhave been handled better & ALONG time ago
I wouldnt....just back & watch the show & have fun despite the pig-headedness

let us know how it allturned out & take pictures

maybe SIL will get drunk & disappear ...ok im being mean...sorry..hope your DD enjoys it & has fun

 

[Disneygirl0259]

Im so sorry that happened to you. Next time your neice wants your help say no since you did basically everything for them and she goes over with your SIL.

 

[desiab]

BIG HUGS coming at ya! It sounds like your SIL just steamrolled over everything and the bride & groom didn't want a fight. I mean, 4 days before the big day I can't imagine trying to fight someone on a venue location I'd probably do the same as they did and throw int he towel cause at that point I think my stress level will be up to here! I think the whole thing could have been handled better, yes. But the groom is TRYING to make amends with you and you should let him. Even if it hurts. Because at this point in time an unaccepted apology is just one more thing hanging over their heads that they don't need. So hear him out and accept his apology and then just explain that you are exhausted from what you had done before everything got changed and you cannot help anywhere. It's a perfect excuse and you don't have to go into detail about hurt feelings or anything at that point intime. And at the wedding show up, smile, try to enjoy yourself, and take along a muzzle for your SIL!

Thanks for the advice. I will seriously think about everything you said.

The problem I am having is that there were two other nieces present last night when he was trying to call me. He was trying to make amends last night in the hopes that I would still take care of the reception and food. The owner of the second studio (who my husband and I know well) was instructed to talk with me that I was still handling the reception. He told the same thing to my MIL and my friend Michelle this morning.

If he was sincerely wanting to make amends because he feels bad about how they handled it I might be more willing. But to apologize so that I would still do the food is unacceptable.

I don't know. Maybe I am being petty on that point.

 

[Mickey1Fan]

So very sad and inconsiderate.

I hope everything got handed off and now you can enjoy the wedding as a guest and mom of a member of the bridal party.

How old is your daughter?

Just think how much you can now enjoy the reception and not have to worry one little bit about things going wrong.

 

[desiab]

So very sad and inconsiderate.

I hope everything got handed off and now you can enjoy the wedding as a guest and mom of a member of the bridal party.

How old is your daughter?

Just think how much you can now enjoy the reception and not have to worry one little bit about things going wrong.

I have been telling myself all day that it will be nice to go to a family members wedding and just be a guest. This is such a new experience for me that I might get use to it.

My daughter is 2 and she is so excited to be "Cinderella" for the wedding. Everyday this week she has mentioned something about her and her cousin standing in the wedding.

This is her cousin's dress. Hers will be exactly the same except smaller. All of the trim work is not done, but you get the Cinderella idea.

 

[Glorydaz]

Thanks for the advice. I will seriously think about everything you said.

The problem I am having is that there were two other nieces present last night when he was trying to call me. He was trying to make amends last night in the hopes that I would still take care of the reception and food. The owner of the second studio (who my husband and I know well) was instructed to talk with me that I was still handling the reception. He told the same thing to my MIL and my friend Michelle this morning.

If he was sincerely wanting to make amends because he feels bad about how they handled it I might be more willing. But to apologize so that I would still do the food is unacceptable.

I don't know. Maybe I am being petty on that point.

nope, not petty at ALL!!!! stop thinking like that - seriously!!!! you busted a gut to help them - in kind, THEY decide 4 days before the wedding - oh, let's just change everything AND maybe if you say you're sorry, she'll still do the work??!!! sorry, you are NOT being petty - your SIL convinced them her choice was better - let her handle it. they should have been adult enough to stick by your side - they didn't.

don't let the day be ruined for you OR your daughter. they are still getting all of the items you so graciously put time and effort into it, you are still attending the wedding and so is your daughter ( we will need to see photos of her all dressed up! ) ... you are being more than kind .

Michelle

 

[LUV2DZNEE]

OMG!! I'm stunned at how unthoughtful the bride and groom are being. I don't post here often, but I love to read about everyone's wedding plans and have followed all of the love, care and dedication you have put into this wedding. Bless you for your love and generosity!!

I hate to say it, but my advice is to step back, let your SIL handle EVERYTHING from here on out and just watch the train jump the track. It's likely that it will happen when trying to make such a major change at this late date. If the bride and groom don't have enough respect for all the work you have done on their behalf, they don't deserve your efforts! Go to the wedding and enjoy seeing your daughter participate - and smile to yourself when you see your SIL's plans crash and burn.

Again, Bless you for your unconditional love!! The bride and groom should be kissing your feet.

 

[Tabetha]

Wow. Family sure knows how to treat family, eh?

I don't think you're being petty at all. I think that you're well within your rights to just hand over everything you've done so far (along with an invoice, but maybe that's just me) and wash your hands of the whole thing.

How incredibly hurtful, and the kicker is the manipulation factor by the ol' groom. Nice.

I'd almost be tempted to throw the reception myself if I were you. With the food you bought, and the favours you created, and have a nice big party for your friends and the people at the dance studio. You planned a party, you deserve a party! To heck with ungrateful goofs.

 

[Lynn5700]

Aww I am soo sorry that they did that to you.It seems like you do a lot for them and they take you for granted

I love the dress!!!!!! It is so cute and it does look like Cinderella's dress.

 

[Swmhc]

I agree with the others...SIL wants to do the party..it's all hers now. Not petty at all. And the bride and groom should still be kissing your backside for all you have done and they are still benefitting from.