I'm worried now!!

[hisprincess]

Oh man, I just found out all of these different people on here were not happy w/rev. jack day! When I was looking for an officiant, everything I found stated otherwise, and now I am very worried! I am a control freak, there is no way getting around it, and if I sent him the ceremony that I decided on and wanted and he didn't do it I would be Furious because there are little things i added or excluded for personal reasons to us. AAHH

 

[hiwaygal]

If I were in your shoes, I think I would have a conversation with Rev. Jack (either via email or phone). Explain to him about those things that are important to you in your ceremony and why. Let him know that you have heard "less than stellar" reviews and you are concerned. (If he doesn't know there's a problem, he can't fix it! )

If you don't like his response or don't want to do that, you still have time to change your mind and consider another officiant.

Personally, I really think if you let him know about your concerns, he will most likely do whatever he can to make it right for you!

 

[hisprincess]

Thanks, that helps make me feel better. It's not like they are big deal things really, but I guess I look at it as it's my wedding and I feel it should be how I want it. For example, I am sensitive about the way we are introduced as husband and wife and the whole 'giving away' statement. I will definetly make sure that I talk to him, when I originally talked to him over the phone in march, he seemed more than accomodating, so hopefully that continues for myself and DF.

Now that I have read some advice from Karen, I will check and check and check w/him to make sure its right. I'll even bring a copy on the wedding day if neccessary since we don't have a rehearsal dinner!

Oh man, I'm going crazy bridezilla now, arn't I!??

 

[luv4mylittleones]

I feel the same way. I am so nervous. I really cut up the ceremonies he sent and pieced them back together to suit us. I also added a whole ring ceremony for the children...I pray things go according to plan or I'll be devastated.

 

[StitchBride]

If it helps, I cut up all his ceremonies, pieced it back together, added a rabbi and he still did a great job, followed it to the T. I haven't read the other reviews but maybe it was an anomoly

HTH

 

[luv4mylittleones]

If it helps, I cut up all his ceremonies, pieced it back together, added a rabbi and he still did a great job, followed it to the T. I haven't read the other reviews but maybe it was an anomoly

HTH

Thanks so much...that's really reassuring to hear.

 

[DisneyFairy19]

Wow I am really surprised because I have heard nothing but AMAZING things about Rev Day... I hope you get this fixed....

 

[ForKeeps]

I think denise is right on the money. With us, I didn't take my DH's name, so I didn't want to be introduced as "Mr. and Mrs." so I didn't include it in my write up.

BUT I didn't tell him that that was important to me. So he added it in at the end. He just didn't know that I didn't want that. It wasn't a big deal, but it is true that he does take liberties unless you specifically tell him that it's important to stick to the script.

He was very much in control of the situation, which actually made me feel better in the end, because as an intimate, without a rehersal, I was glad to have someone guide me through.

But I remember Fairy Tale Bride didn't like that at all. Like Denise says, have a candid conversation with him and let him know your concerns.

GL!

 

[hisprincess]

If it helps, I cut up all his ceremonies, pieced it back together, added a rabbi and he still did a great job, followed it to the T. I haven't read the other reviews but maybe it was an anomoly

HTH

Thats great to hear, thank you very much!

 

[hisprincess]

I think denise is right on the money. With us, I didn't take my DH's name, so I didn't want to be introduced as "Mr. and Mrs." so I didn't include it in my write up.

BUT I didn't tell him that that was important to me. So he added it in at the end. He just didn't know that I didn't want that. It wasn't a big deal, but it is true that he does take liberties unless you specifically tell him that it's important to stick to the script.

He was very much in control of the situation, which actually made me feel better in the end, because as an intimate, without a rehersal, I was glad to have someone guide me through.

But I remember Fairy Tale Bride didn't like that at all. Like Denise says, have a candid conversation with him and let him know your concerns.

GL!

Thats good to know. That is one thing I am concerned about, I don't want to be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. His name, I feel like it just completely takes away my identity, and I don't want it asked who 'gives me away' because I am a person, not a possesion that can be given away, I am not owned by anybody, HELLO, haha. I'll just have to let him know those things.

 

[purplegirl247]

Thats good to know. That is one thing I am concerned about, I don't want to be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. His name, I feel like it just completely takes away my identity, and I don't want it asked who 'gives me away' because I am a person, not a possesion that can be given away, I am not owned by anybody, HELLO, haha. I'll just have to let him know those things.

I felt the same way about the "who gives this woman" bit. I felt like it was asking my dad to sever our relationship and since I'm SUCH a daddy's girl, I didn't feel comfortable with that. Instead, we had our officiant (not Rev. Day; just a friend of ours with a notary license) say: "The couple asked that we forego the line “who gives this woman” and instead opted for more inclusive wording. To that end, who shares this woman with your family, making her as one of your own? {look to DH's family} Who shares this man with your family, making him as one of your own? {look to my family}" We told everyone ahead of time that they were meant to say "I do" at the appropriate time. Felt like the audience got to have a say as well!

GL with your ceremony!

 

[KT27]

I pieced together ceremonies, added our own touch & he followed it exactly!

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

ok...i feel really dumb right now....i had rev jack when we got married & i cant honestly remember a WORD he said

but then again it WAS 10yrs ago

im sure if you express the importance of some things to him & remind him just before the big day....you should be fine....wow....i just wondered something....if DFTW does over 3000 weddings a year....how many do the officiants do???

Anyway
good luck & im sure it will be fine

 

[Boo0105]

I also had Rev. Day, I pieced together different parts of the ceremony and he did it exactly like I asked. Inside the book that he carries he had a copy of the ceremony that I sent him and it was highlighted and had notes. So if you let him know what you want and don't want it shouldn't be a problem.

 

[hisprincess]

I felt the same way about the "who gives this woman" bit. I felt like it was asking my dad to sever our relationship and since I'm SUCH a daddy's girl, I didn't feel comfortable with that. Instead, we had our officiant (not Rev. Day; just a friend of ours with a notary license) say: "The couple asked that we forego the line “who gives this woman” and instead opted for more inclusive wording. To that end, who shares this woman with your family, making her as one of your own? {look to DH's family} Who shares this man with your family, making him as one of your own? {look to my family}" We told everyone ahead of time that they were meant to say "I do" at the appropriate time. Felt like the audience got to have a say as well!

GL with your ceremony!

Thats a good idea! I am really a daddy's girl too, in fact, sometimes I still call him daddy and I'm 22 years old. Pathetic I know, please don't laugh about it too much! Anyway, I really like that, and if you don't mind, I may do something along those lines for our ceremony.

 

[hisprincess]

ok...i feel really dumb right now....i had rev jack when we got married & i cant honestly remember a WORD he said

but then again it WAS 10yrs ago

im sure if you express the importance of some things to him & remind him just before the big day....you should be fine....wow....i just wondered something....if DFTW does over 3000 weddings a year....how many do the officiants do???

Anyway
good luck & im sure it will be fine

This really brings me back to reality that in 10 years I probably won't remember what exactly was even said, and its not going to be the end of the world or ruin everything if it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Those officiants must be pretty busy! I can't imagine how many weddings they probably end up doing, because I'm sure they may do weddings other than at disney too.

Everybody else, thanks for the support and advice it is greatly appreciated. If you all want to keep this thread alive about concerns or ideas related to officiants, go for it.

 

[purplegirl247]

Thats a good idea! I am really a daddy's girl too, in fact, sometimes I still call him daddy and I'm 22 years old. Pathetic I know, please don't laugh about it too much! Anyway, I really like that, and if you don't mind, I may do something along those lines for our ceremony.

No problem. Consider it a gift from one daddy's girl to another!

 

[pixie08]

We absolutely loved Rev day as did our whole family! We wrote our whole ceremony (uisng parts of his and our own things as well) and he followed it to a tee! We just emailed him our ceremony and brought a hard copy to the rehearsal!

 

[figmentfan814]

I felt the same way about the "who gives this woman" bit. I felt like it was asking my dad to sever our relationship and since I'm SUCH a daddy's girl, I didn't feel comfortable with that. Instead, we had our officiant (not Rev. Day; just a friend of ours with a notary license) say: "The couple asked that we forego the line “who gives this woman” and instead opted for more inclusive wording. To that end, who shares this woman with your family, making her as one of your own? {look to DH's family} Who shares this man with your family, making him as one of your own? {look to my family}" We told everyone ahead of time that they were meant to say "I do" at the appropriate time. Felt like the audience got to have a say as well!

GL with your ceremony!

Even though I'm not using Rev. Day I'm glad I read this posting. (One of our former ministers lives in the Jacksonville area and we are paying for a room for him to come over to perform our ceremony.) My DF and I are suppose to be going over our ceremony options this weekend and these were some areas that I was concerned about for our wedding too.

 

[Luvndisney]

i was completely pleased with Rev jack. we cut and pasted so many different things and he did everything perfectly. the best advice is if there is something that will bother you if it it left out BOLD it and speak to him to make sure he understands its importance.