Cash Bar - Open Bar??

[allisonswonderland]

No I do not mean that anyone who disagrees with me is being arrogant. I deal with undergraduate students on a regular basis and it is hard to see the point of view of other people who are not like you for them. I just forget that it is hard to see things from another's perspective and I do get frustrated by that. When I first read these posts, I thought the responses seemed harsh. All I was saying is could you look at it from another perspective and try to be understanding rather than just saying how inappropriate a cash bar is. To me if they want alcohol they can go down the hall to a lounge and bring it back, then really what would the difference be? It would be more convenient to just have it in the same room..... I am sorry if you thought I was rude.

 

[ObsessedwithWDW]

I say do what you can HONESTLY afford. I had open bar top shelf liquor all evening BUT my dad paid. He can afford to do that. IF I was paying out of my pocket I would have saved to do either cocktail hour, or til the bill hits a certain amount designated by me, or beer and wine is always nice. BUT I firmly believe doing what you can afford is respectable and more than generous. best wishes!

 

[disneyheaven]

Thanks again to everyone's responses. I didnt mean for this to be such a heated debate and it certainly turned into one. But I guess its' all on what works for the individual bride and groom. For my fiance and I, we have decided on open bar for all soft drinks and water, juices, etc for anyone that would like that. This way, we are providing beverages for all of our guests who have, indeed, paid so much to share our day. And although many of you disagree with a cash bar, we have decided that is the best option for us, our guests, and my parents. I just know my family and friends, and I fear that with an open bar, some people would take advantage of it and I do not want anyone sick or making a scene. It is Disney World for goodness sakes, You dont need alcohol to have fun! We will be doing a wine passing or "signiture drink", something fun and fruity to add to the mix but all in all, a lot of people in the family who do drink, drink too much. The other half of the family doesnt drink at all (which is great for us). So after MUCH thought, we will providing soft drinks and non alcoholic refreshments for our guests, but alcohol will be based on a cash bar basis. End of Story I do thank you all for your opinions, but again, sometimes opinions can be a little too strong. We are all on this forum to support one another. Even though we have different opinions, words do not have to be thrown out that could possibly hurt someone else's monetary or family situations. Everyone is coming from different places. But I just wanted to thank you all. I truly believe that we are ALL soooo blessed to be having a Walt Disney World wedding. No matter how big, small, custom, intimate, casual or luxurious, we are all marrying our best friends in the happiest place on earth! Let's not loose sight of that when we are in the planning stages (especially over alcohol! Its just not worth it!) Thanks again!! You all have helped me a great deal.

 

[Janet2k]

I have tried twice today to post in here but real life kept getting in the way (I hate when that happens ). I don't normally share pricing information from my events, but I will share what it cost me for beverages during last year's custom vow renewal. I think it will be helpful for some of you to see how quickly the beverage bill can add up, even at a very small event such as I had. As soon as I have my pricing ready, I will post it.

 

[Janet2k]

I have been married for 21 years. I think that makes me one of the oldest people on this board. And with age, (thankfully) has come a little bit of wisdom. I’ll try to share some of that wisdom here.

On October 27, 2004, my husband and I celebrated 20 years of marriage with a custom vow renewal. Our ceremony was held inside the Wedding Pavilion, and our dinner party was held inside the “Great Movie Ride” at the Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park.

There were 22 guests at my vow renewal dinner party (that included my husband & myself). However, just as dinner was beginning inside the Western Area of the “Great Movie Ride,” my young nephew came down with a touch of diarrhea. That meant that he and his mom (my sister) had to leave the party, thus missing dinner, dessert, Mickey Mouse, dancing, and fireworks (it broke my heart that they had to leave so early in the evening). Another one of my guests left the party immediately after dinner had been completed (she had an early call at work the next morning). I am only mentioning all this so you understand that for some portions of my event there were 22 guests, and for other portions there were only 19 guests. Try to remember that when you view the beverage bill for my dinner party.

I should also note that 3 of my 22 guests were children (my daughter, niece, and nephew). 1 more guest was an "underage" adult (my college-aged son). Of the remaining 18 guests, 3 were in their late 60’s / early 70’s (my Mom, Dad, and Aunt). My parents do not drink and my guess is that held true during my dinner party.

There is one final thing that I should mention before I move onto the beverage charges. When it came to what I drank that night, I had one glass of champagne at the Handprint Ceremony (click here) and one cocktail at another point in time (actually, I only drank half of that cocktail). I didn’t touch anything else that evening. I don’t know why I didn’t; I guess I was just too busy enjoying my guests and the incredible Disney entertainment. If I ever get around to finishing my trip report about my vow renewal, you will learn that I paid dearly for the fact that I only drank 1-1/2 glasses of fluids during an 11-hour span of time. When 3 AM hit, I was so dehydrated that I thought I was going to pass out on the chartered bus ride back to my resort. I was in bad shape. Very bad shape. Shame on me. So when you view the beverage charges below, remember that one guest (me) only had two drinks all night long.

Here are the beverage charges from my final bill. I hope I have typed everything correctly (and I hope I have computed everything correctly too).

- - - - - - -
Cakebread Chardonnay, Napa Valley
$74 per bottle
2 bottles = $148
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$189.14

Fess Parker Riesling, Santa Barbara
$35 per bottle
1 bottle = $35
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$44.73

Franciscan Magnificat, Cabernet Sauvignon
$74 per bottle
2 bottles = $148
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$189.14

Stonestreet, Alex Valley, Cabernet Sauvignon
$50 per bottle
1 bottle = $50
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$63.90

Hosted, Domestic Beer
$4.75 each
9 bottles = $42.75
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$54.63

Hosted, Imported Beer
$5.25 each
7 bottles = $36.75
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$46.97

Hosted, Assorted Sodas
$2.75 each
23 glasses = $63.25
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$80.83

Hosted, Bottled Water
$3.50 each
21 bottles = $73.50
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$93.93

Hosted, Call Brand Cocktails
$6.00 each
9 glasses = $54
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$69.01

Hosted, House Cabernet Sauvignon
$5.75 each
15 glasses = $86.25
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$110.23

Hosted, House Chardonnay
$5.75 each
20 glasses = $115
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$146.97

White Zinfandel, CA
$5.50 each
10 glasses = $55
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$70.29

Iron Horse Fairy Tale Cuvee Brut
$50 per bottle
5 bottles = $250
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$319.50

Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider
$22 per bottle
1 bottle = $22
Plus Gratuity (20%) and Sales Tax (6.5%)
$28.12

Total charges for beverages = $1,507.39
- - - - - - -

If you divide the above total by the number of guests, it works out as follows:

$1,507.39 / 22 guests = $68.52 per guest for beverages

There were no big drinkers at my event. No one got drunk. No one got tipsy. No one needed a cab ride home. And of my 22 guests, 4 were underage (3 children & 1 college guy) and another 3 were senior citizens. And don’t forget that the bride only drank two drinks all night long.

I hope that helped.

==========
I had to edit this post to reflect the fact that my son was underage and thus could not drink alcohol at my event. I thought that was an important point to note.
==========

 

[allisonswonderland]

Wow! Thanks Janet for sharing this info....I just got my date several weeks ago and with all of the planning to come, the thought of paying for alcohol is scary, not knowing how much it could be, now did you pay per drink? Again, thanks so much for sharing this with us, as it is important to know....

 

[Gillian]

Disneyheaven, it sounds like you have worked out a good solution!

I've also been to weddings & events (in the northeast, mostly) where there was everything from an open bar to no alcohol (except for a toast). I think I preferred limited (free) alcohol to a cash bar because it makes sense to me - you still want to provide drinks to your guests but do not want to pay a fortune!

Here in NJ almost every wedding place we looked at had an open bar for the entire time included in the price. We ended up in a venue where we could choose our own caterer and provide our own alcohol. That was fun because we chose exactly what we wanted but didn't pay a premium price. Funny, we still messed up because a guest left to go get Budwiser. We mostly had microbrews.

Thanks Janet2k for posting your drink costs. Wow! I didn't realize that soft drinks cost a lot as well. Very enlightening.

 

[Janet2k]

I just got my date several weeks ago and with all of the planning to come, the thought of paying for alcohol is scary, not knowing how much it could be, now did you pay per drink? Again, thanks so much for sharing this with us, as it is important to know....

Allisonswonderland, gosh, I can't remember how it was stated on my BEO, isn't that silly? My ~guess~ is that it was per drink since my guest list was small.

My vow renewal was on the expensive side due to the location of my dinner party (an after-hours theme park party). I paid the bills for that party last year, and I never really looked at the beverage portion of my final bill. When I pulled that bill out today so that I could share it here, I must say that I was surprised that it was $1,500 for 22 guests (of which 3 were children and 3 were senior citizens). $70 per person for beverages seems a little on the high side to me. I suppose that is because none of my guests were heavy drinkers. Had they been, I shudder to think of what that beverage bill would have been. I can completely understand why some folks here are concerned about their upcoming weddings. Beverages do add up quickly (especially when you add a gratuity and then that gratuity is taxed).

I don't mean to scare anyone off by the sharing of my beverage bill. I simply wanted to show that even for a small dinner party such as the one that I held, the beverage bill is not an insignificant cost.

 

[Janet2k]

There are wedding customs that are specific to certain parts of this country. What is customary, say, on the East Coast, might not necessarily be customary on the West Coast. For example, a few of my East Cost friends have told me that wedding guests normally dance while dinner is being served and eaten. From where I come (the Midwest), guests do not begin dancing until after dinner has been completed and the plates have been taken away.

The same goes for Groom’s Cakes. I have never been to a wedding (or a wedding rehearsal dinner) where such a cake has been served. I never knew about the tradition until I read about it in a magazine several years ago. And yet a Groom’s Cake is very customary in certain parts of this country.

As to the “money dance,” I have been to a few weddings in both the Midwest and also here on the West Coast where the “money dance” has been held. Some wedding guests have been offended by the dance, while other guests have welcomed it with open arms. Luckily, the guests who were offended kept their feelings to themselves and dared not mention them to the bride & groom or their families. As to my own opinion regarding the money dance, as I have aged, my feelings have changed. While I was somewhat off put by it in my younger days, today I find the dance to be a lot of fun due to the sheer joy that I have seen on the faces of those who have chosen to dance with the bride and groom. There really is a lot of love shared during that dance, and that is what a wedding is about. The sharing of love between friends and families.

For those of you who find a Cash Bar standard fare at weddings in your hometown, I bet your guests won’t find it odd if you have a Cash Bar at your Disney wedding. That is something that would work in your favor if you choose to go that route.

Planning a wedding is all about choices – there are aspects that you can cut back on so that you can splurge somewhere else. Please do not ever hesitate to ask your Wedding Planner / Event Manager what your options are, especially if your budget is tight and money is a concern. You are not the first wedding couple to have faced this, and you will not be the last. There probably isn’t anything that you could ask your Wedding Planner / Event Manager that would shock them. They are professionals, and they truly do want to help you make your dreams come true.

 

[allisonswonderland]

Thanks for your encouraging words....I too am from the midwest and they always do a $$$ dance, I never dance with the groom, but at the same time I have never been offended by it either, to each his own. You are right different places have different things. Around here we do not have filling in the wedding cakes, but other places you do! Typically around here, there is a mix about bar, sometimes beer is free and pay for mixed drinks an other times it is all cash...it really just depends. I have also been to weddings that only offer tea - I really do not like tea, would rather have water, but our water is like drinking a mud puddle so they do not offer... Thanks again

 

[Janet2k]

Thanks for your encouraging words....

I'm glad I could help. Planning a wedding is a stressful time. Everyone goes through trials and tribulations. But if they hang in there, things should get better as they find their way.

 

[disneyheaven]

Janet, Your words are encouraging and supportive. A thousand thank-you's!!! You are absoulutly right....everyone needs to make the decision that is right for them. And after so much talk, we have I think our decision is perfect for us as a couple, our family, and our wallets!! But again, if money was no object (Oh we can dream can't we) and alcohol wasnt an issue (Its so sad how some family members/friends CANT control themselves) then we woudl most definatly be open minded about an open bar. But again, I cant change the world, or the circumstances, but I can feel grateful that we are getting married in Disney and doing everything we can do provide every one of our guests a comfortable, memorable, once-in-a-lifetime event!! Thanks again to everyone for your supportive words!!
~Sarah

 

[Laurafoster]

Janet, Your words are encouraging and supportive. A thousand thank-you's!!! You are absoulutly right....everyone needs to make the decision that is right for them. And after so much talk, we have I think our decision is perfect for us as a couple, our family, and our wallets!! But again, if money was no object (Oh we can dream can't we) and alcohol wasnt an issue (Its so sad how some family members/friends CANT control themselves) then we woudl most definatly be open minded about an open bar. But again, I cant change the world, or the circumstances, but I can feel grateful that we are getting married in Disney and doing everything we can do provide every one of our guests a comfortable, memorable, once-in-a-lifetime event!! Thanks again to everyone for your supportive words!!
~Sarah

If thats what you want then thats great! go with that. It doesnt matter what anyone else things at the end of the day its your wedding, your big day that your going to remember so you should do things your way! Good luck with the rest of the planning!

 

[WonderWomanDC]

It's a little late...lol but we opted for beer, wine, and sangria at our wedding (and soda and water). It kept the bill down to what worked for us, and our guests really enjoyed it.
Something about weddings seems to dehydrate me - I think I have four or five bottles of water at every wedding. I had about 8 at my own!! LOL.

 

[Mary626]

Does anyone know if it's possible to get the soda and water package (pre-paid for), but bill-on-consumption for alcohol?

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

There probably isn’t anything that you could ask your Wedding Planner / Event Manager that would shock them. They are professionals, and they truly do want to help you make your dreams come true.

Haha! I managed to shock her: :::Smiles proudly::::

I am very, very traditional. We're having a black-tie wedding with all the trimmings. Initially, the florist tried to talk me into something that I wasn't comfortable with to cut costs. I cam back to the EM and said, "I want the candelabras. I've wanted them since I was in 8th or 9th grade. I have a picture here I found that I pulled out of a magazine while I was waiting to go to Prom. And it wasn't my junior or even senior Prom!" She laughed and said, "It surprised me you choose them seeing how traditional, formal, and conservative you are."

With that said, she just about fell to the ground in hysterics when I asked, "Can we have the cans on the back of the limo with the Just Married! sign?!" She never expectred those word to come out of my mouth. She's never been asked it before and certainly didn't think I would be the one asking. I guess it's a hold over from Little Rascals or something

But, yes, you can shock them. And when you do, it's great! You know you've done or said something they never expected.. and we all know how many weddings they do!

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Does anyone know if it's possible to get the soda and water package (pre-paid for), but bill-on-consumption for alcohol?

Yeppers!

You pay the standard fees for the soft drink and water package per the number of hours for number of people you need.

Then, they will bill you BOC for the other drinks. I believe that they estimate it around 2.5 (which is 3) or 3.5 (which is 4) drinks per person in your budget. If you owe them at the end of the night, they send you a bill. If they owe you at the end of the night, they send you a check. Side note: How nice would it be for Disney to send US a check for a change?!

Just remember that by prepaying for the soft drinks and soda, you are going to have some guests that don't do anything but drink alcohol on you BOC tab. Essentially, you could be paying more becuase you're already paying for that person to have unlimited soft drinks. When they don't, you're then paying the BOC tab for them, too. You might want to talk to your EM and figure out a number that you're likely to break even with. I would also suggest that you be informed when your bar tab has reached a certain amount; or, what the amount is at a certain time(s). That could give you the option of going over to to a cash bar or closing down the alcohol and going back over to your soft drinks and water package.


Good luck!
xoxo

 

[malibuconlee]

Wedding customs do vary widely between different areas. In this area, it is "normal" to have a cash bar at a wedding reception. Usually a keg of beer is provided and guests can pay for anything else they choose to drink. Punch, soda, or both is also usually provided.

We also don't pay $50,000 for a wedding, and we don't give $150/per person for attending an event. If that were expected, no one would show up. I firmly believe in hosting an event you can afford to host.

I chose my reception hall based on many things, one of which was the fact that they had a bar and bar tender to serve drinks which my guests paid for. We provided beer, punch, and I think soda for our guests.

One of my friends got married last spring, it was a small town and it seemed like everyone was invited. She planned for 500-600 people. No way could she have afforded to pay for drinks for all those people. The bar did say they had one of their best nights ever that night.

We did do the $1 dance, but I had told the DJ before hand we weren't going to. The guests asked about it because it's such a tradition.

 

[Janet2k]

I had to edit my prior post to reflect the fact that my son was underage and thus could not drink alcohol at my vow renewal's dinner party. I thought that was an important point to note since I had stated what the pricing was for the beverage portion of my event.

So, out of 22 guests at my vow renewal, 3 were children, 1 was an underage adult, and 3 were senior citizens. 22 - 7 = 15 people for all that alcohol (actually, 14 if you don't count me).

 

[Gillian]

malibuconlee, it's so interesting to hear what people in other parts of the country! You would probably NEVER see a keg at a wedding around here! I can imagine the comments. Is this a frat party, LOL?

I have no idea what that dance is, but I hope I get to see one someday. It sounds fun!

A friend is getting married at 10 AM (in winter) and I asked her what was appropriate to wear. She told me, and also requested no black, "because it's not a funeral". It's very common in this area to wear black for EVERYTHING, and my mom has been bugging me about it. She thinks I can wear black anyway. Well of course I can, but if the bride asked me not to, why shouldn't I look for something else to wear? It's her wedding, her (very simple) request, and just because people often wear black, that doesn't mean I have to.

I guess my point is that if it makes the bride happy, I'm going to try to do it. I love weddings because they are a celebration of love. If I have to buy my own drink, get a beer from a keg, or wear something cheerful, it's not a big deal. I'm not the most important person there.