PDA

View Full Version : HELP..DS just ordered something on Ebay!!


Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 12:31 AM
I have no idea how this happened! I have never ever ordered something off of ebay, but was going to today, so I registered this morning.

When I came in this afternoon, I had received the activation email, so I clicked on it to finish up the registration process. I went back to the ebay store, and was looking around when I had to leave the room, and laid the lap top down. When I got back DS 7, was looking at some things on it, but I thought that was it.

Just now, I went to check my email, and have this congratulations you won a power ranger sleeping bag notice!!! WTH??

Now what do I do?? Dsis says if I don't buy it, I may never be able to buy anything on ebay again.(not that that's the end of the world, but still)

What should I tell the seller?
TIA

ohiominnie
12-10-2005, 12:40 AM
I think I'd tell the seller "I'll Paypal you tonight." It's not the seller's fault your DS got onto the computer. Get the sleeping bag. If it was my kid they'd be forking over their allowance until the thing was paid for.

Be sure to have a tricky password for ebay and always log out! ;)

KarenAylwood
12-10-2005, 12:42 AM
:earseek: Wow. That is pretty crazy!!

:goodvibes your way...

I guess you could email the seller and try to explain what happened. I can't imagine that they would be that understanding (sounds like a good "dog ate my homework" excuse though!!). I'm figuring from your post that you wouldn't just buy the sleeping bag? ....

It's not like you had any feedback so I'm guessing you could just get another account and it wouldn't be that big of a problem. Some other Ebay pro's will step in about this I'm sure.

I think DS needs a little talking to though... :rolleyes:

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 12:51 AM
Just to be clear he did not know he was "buying" something. This isn't even something that he wanted. As best I can tell he was just clicking on pictures to see them bigger, much like he does when we are looking together at toys on say target.com, etc... He doesn't even know how to read yet, so I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did not do this on purpose! If it's anybody's fault it's mine.

I will be more careful from now on, but like I said I had NO idea it was that easy to buy something on ebay or I would have never even left the computer laying around.This is the first time I have ever even been on ebay...believe it or not!

I just emailed the seller and told him the honest truth. Guess I'll have to wait and see. No I do not want this item, but I guess we'll see.

KarenAylwood
12-10-2005, 12:55 AM
Just to be clear he did not know he was "buying" something. This isn't even something that he wanted. As best I can tell he was just clicking on pictures to see them bigger, much like he does when we are looking together at toys on say target.com, etc... He doesn't even know how to read yet, so I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did not do this on purpose! If it's anybody's fault it's mine.

:rotfl:

Awwww. Never thought about it before... but I guess it is pretty easy! Let us know what happens.

Just out of curiosity... did you "buy" it for a lot of money??

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 01:05 AM
It was $35.00 plus $12.00 for shipping. I'm not sure how much they go for in the store. I'll have to ask my mom, she gave my DS one almost just like it last year for Christmas!

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 01:35 AM
He just emailed back. Let's just say he's not happy!

He said that when an item is bought ebay considers that a contract, and the seller automatically gets charged a selling fee. Is this true?

I told him to let me know what it is, and I would pay it. I really do not want this thing, but I don't want my mistake to cost the seller any money!

He says that if I do not pay for the item he will do a Non-paying bidder against my account to get back his fees from EBay. Is there really a need to do this, I offered to pay it. :confused3

He says he will not do a negative feedback if this was an accident but he will have to get some of his fees back.

WatchinCaptKangaroo
12-10-2005, 01:36 AM
So many buyers use their kids as an excuse to explain away buyers remorse that you should be prepared to either buy the bag when the seller says too bad, it's your account you're responsible or start over with a new ID (but you need a new credit card and stuff) and start over.

WatchinCaptKangaroo
12-10-2005, 01:38 AM
He just emailed back. Let's just say he's not happy!

He said that when an item is bought ebay considers that a contract, and the seller automatically gets charged a selling fee. Is this true?

Yes, there is a final value fee that is a percentage of the purchase. He also pays the listing fee.

I told him to let me know what it is, and I would pay it. I really do not want this thing, but I don't want my mistake to cost the seller any money!

That sound fair. Offer to pay his final value fee, his original listing fee and new listing fees.

He says that if I do not pay for the item he will do a Non-paying bidder against my account to get back his fees from EBay. Is there really a need to do this, I offered to pay it. :confused3

He can do it to get his fees back from ebay, but if you pay the fees he shouldn't do a NPB against you.

PrincessJasmine
12-10-2005, 01:51 AM
What I don't get is exactly how he did this if he can't read. You usually have to type in a bid amount, and when I'm buying on Ebay I always get a prompt to re-enter my password when I bid...

Rella Bella
12-10-2005, 01:59 AM
Offer to pay his final value fee, his original listing fee and new listing fees.
If your seller would agree to this and not list you as a Non Paying Buyer or give you bad feedback you would both come out okay.
But if he insists on doing NPB or will give you bad feed back JUST BUY IT!

Just starting out you may not realize that ANY bad feedback will follow you... I'd even say haunt you! I know many Ebay regulars who won't deal with buyers or sellers with bad feedback and until you have a lot of positive transactions people will not trust you.

IMHO It's just not worth it to refuse to buy. Just get it and donate it somewhere or something... don't let it ruin your future with Ebay.

briannesmom
12-10-2005, 02:00 AM
The seller can file the Non Paying Bidder report to get his fees back from ebay. There is an option on a NPB for both parties to mutually agree not to complete sale. This way you won't get a non paying strike on your account and he will get his fees back.
I would do what WatchinCaptKangaroo said and offer to pay his fees for this auction and the new listing fee. If he does leave you negative feedback start over with a new account. You will have a hard time buying anything with feedback of -1.

Amy

WatchinCaptKangaroo
12-10-2005, 02:12 AM
You can also buy it and then re-sell it on ebay. When you list it after the description you can say that you bought it ended up not needing it so you are reselling it.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 02:14 AM
What I don't get is exactly how he did this if he can't read. You usually have to type in a bid amount, and when I'm buying on Ebay I always get a prompt to re-enter my password when I bid...


That's what my sister said! We can't figure it out. I though maybe he just hit a button, but she said it would have to be several buttons. :confused3

As best I can tell, this wasn't an item up for bid, but rather a buy it now item from an ebay store. Does that make it easier?

PrincessJasmine
12-10-2005, 02:24 AM
That's what my sister said! We can't figure it out. I though maybe he just hit a button, but she said it would have to be several buttons. :confused3

As best I can tell, this wasn't an item up for bid, but rather a buy it now item from an ebay store. Does that make it easier?

It does make more sense that way. I would still think a password prompt would come up but I guess it didn't.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 02:30 AM
Ok, I just got another email from him. He doesn't really want me to just pay the fees. He's offered to let me just buy something else from his ebay store for the same price, so I think I'll have another look.

my3kids
12-10-2005, 07:18 AM
It isn't easy to put a bid in on eBay....you have to go through entering the bid, then confirming. It just doesn't happen with clicking on pictures.

I would probably just buy the item. And remember to sign out anytime you put the lap top down. :)

Kimmielee
12-10-2005, 07:28 AM
It does make more sense that way. I would still think a password prompt would come up but I guess it didn't.
I don't get a password prompt unless quite a while has passed since viewing the last item. If you are actively moving around and looking for an item it doesn't prompt you!

tiggger1
12-10-2005, 08:13 AM
i thought you could go into my ebay and cancel a bid if you needed to? it should have been in the congrats email you got. You arent supposed to you it unless it was an accident and since this was, i would try to use it....

aka-mad4themouse
12-10-2005, 08:17 AM
Ok, I just got another email from him. He doesn't really want me to just pay the fees. He's offered to let me just buy something else from his ebay store for the same price, so I think I'll have another look.
I sounds as if he's at least trying to work with you. Either way, you're out the money. :sad:
Two lessons learned from this: Always log out of any website that is connected to you financially (online stores, PayPal, banking, CC sites, etc.) and close the browser window they were in.
Little minds are curious and little hands are fast. I'm sure that your DS now understands that the laptop is not his personal toy and it's only okay to use it when Mom or Dad is supervising. Imagine if he had accidentally stumbled on some "adult" material! :scared1:

imsayin
12-10-2005, 08:19 AM
i thought you could go into my ebay and cancel a bid if you needed to? it should have been in the congrats email you got. You arent supposed to you it unless it was an accident and since this was, i would try to use it....

That is for bids, not buy it now purchases. Once you bid on a buy it now, it is yours. I have to side with the seller on this one. As an Ebay seller, it gets very frustrating at Christmas time with a lot of non-payers and new Ebay buyers making mistakes. This is only made worse by the fact that if you are trying to complete your sales before the holiday, these transactions eat up time and potential profits.

barbeml
12-10-2005, 08:19 AM
Wow, bizarre story.

Maybe it was a "Buy It Now" transaction? That still involves at least two clicks in just the right spot. Maybe your kid is a genius!

poohfriend
12-10-2005, 08:35 AM
then he could have just hit the enter key TWICE.

it's hard to mistakenly order something. there are warnings and verifications. this is why the seller is having difficulty believing your story.

i believe you. hey, just the other day my 2 year old climbed up on the counter top, opened a "child proofed" cabinet, opened a rubbermaid container and poured 5 lbs of flour all over the floor in about 2 minutes. :rotfl: It took 45 minutes to clean up because as I swept part of it, he would run through it...(we live in the South..that's about as close to snow as he'll get!) In the end I just got out the camera and laughed. It was EVERYWHERE! Kithchen and the nearby den.

Hope this will be one of those stories you laugh about with him when he grows up.

I'm sure you don't have the extra money this time of year. If you really don't want to mess with re-listing, offer to paypal the seller $6 and let him re-list. I'm guessling his listing fees are less than $2 and selling fees about the same. If he has a store his listing fee is pennies! Anyway, $6 should cover it and give him something for the aggrevation. He'll probably still file for his fees back with ebay (and just say it was mutually agreed on) so he'd be $6 ahead and sell the sleeping bag again. (I think you might not get the full price back on the sleeping bag by the time you consider selling fees.)

Like others on this board I question someone who charges a lot for shipping. He's trying to sap handling fees. I'm guessing the sleeping bag would be at least half of what he's charging. He's not likely to let you "off the hook for nothing." In his mind, dealing with all the hassle of re-listing is worth something for his time.

Good luck!

Blondiex46
12-10-2005, 08:55 AM
this is what we did when I bid on something (disney world tickets and wanted a 2 day not a 3 day and bid on a 3 day) I apologized profusely, tell them that it was an honest mistake.....and they told e-mail that we mutually agreed not to sell/buy and they didn't have to pay anything and I got no negative feedback, maybe the seller doesn't know that. If he makes you pay it YOU can leave feedback also, explaining what happened for all to look at...

ceecee
12-10-2005, 09:30 AM
What I don't get is exactly how he did this if he can't read. You usually have to type in a bid amount, and when I'm buying on Ebay I always get a prompt to re-enter my password when I bid...
Exactly....How did he know your password? Anyway if it was my DS who did that, we would be the proud owners of a new Power Ranger Sleeping Bag!
As a seller I too would not be pleased, I have heard that excuse just too many times (another one is the sister in law, girlfriend, friend). It is a contract once you bid. I would pay him and have a talk with your DS. Then maybe you can resell it. At the very least pay the fees he is out.

summerrluvv
12-10-2005, 09:30 AM
How did he actually get to the power rangers sleeping bag? I would've thought something had to be typed in to get to that particular item or even to the guy's store, no?

I would just pay the seller's listing fee and be done with it. If he leaves you a negative, just make a new ebay name. You shouldn't have to purchase anything else out of the store to appease him. I think your offer was fair enough.

shades
12-10-2005, 09:52 AM
How did he actually get to the power rangers sleeping bag? I would've thought something had to be typed in to get to that particular item or even to the guy's store, no?

I would just pay the seller's listing fee and be done with it. If he leaves you a negative, just make a new ebay name. You shouldn't have to purchase anything else out of the store to appease him. I think your offer was fair enough.

The guy lost his time - that's it. He can get his fees back by filing a non-paying bidder or cancelling the transaction. If he leaves you negative feedback, then start over with a new ID. Mistakes happen and this guy is trying to guilt trip you into spending $ at his "store." This is all a part of doing business on Ebay. I believe it is possible for your son to click his way through a transaction without being able to read. Once you are logged into Ebay, you do not have to re-enter your password and with a "buy it now" - there is only one more "button" to push and computer savvy kids know to push buttons to get to where they want to be. My 15-yr old nephew recently purchased something off Ebay by "accidentally" (that's his story and he is sticking to it;o) clicking through too many buttons and he immediately had "buyer's remorse" because he didn't have the funds to cover his purchase and got into big trouble;o)

Anyway - my point is - don't let this guy guilt trip into spending $35 plus his shp/hldg fees when it was a mistake in the first place.

Bevin
12-10-2005, 09:54 AM
Like others on this board I question someone who charges a lot for shipping. He's trying to sap handling fees. I'm guessing the sleeping bag would be at least half of what he's charging. He's not likely to let you "off the hook for nothing." In his mind, dealing with all the hassle of re-listing is worth something for his time.

Good luck!

Actually, I just sold a children's sleeping bag on ebay and charged $9 for shipping. It actually ended up costing $11.20 Fed Ex ground from Tx to MA. So $12 for shipping on a child's sleeping bag is not unreasonable. :)

mum4jenn
12-10-2005, 10:10 AM
I can understand the seller not believing the story though because every 7 year old I have been around (I work in a school) knows how to read at that age!!

summerrluvv
12-10-2005, 10:12 AM
I can understand the seller not believing the story though because every 7 year ol I have been around (I work in a schol) knows how to read at that age!!

I know quite a few 7 year olds (and almost 7 year olds, mine included) that can't read well enough to understand an ebay auction.

imsayin
12-10-2005, 10:40 AM
The guy lost his time - that's it.

I disagree with this. First of all, he lost his listing fees. Secondly, at this time of year, you can get a higher price for your merchandise, so if he can't relist the item in a timely manner before the holidays, he may lose money in product value. JMO.

hsmamato2
12-10-2005, 10:40 AM
Eaby works best when people who sell and or bid are trustworthy, and follow through on their obligations. (not saying you're not trustworthy)The op's son bought- she's obligated to buy, even if it is overpriced. Good advice, log off before you let a munchkin play with the buttons. I buy and sell, and have been in both places, when I get something i don't want, I list it again the instant I recieve, and at least recoup some money on an item i didn't want- but if I bought it, I know i have to pay. it's the right thing to do.

CheapMom
12-10-2005, 11:12 AM
I would just pay the seller's listing fee and be done with it. If he leaves you a negative, just make a new ebay name. You shouldn't have to purchase anything else out of the store to appease him. I think your offer was fair enough.
I totally agree- it is a brand new account- it is not like you are messing up a great feedback rating that you have worked hard to create- your offer is fair.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 11:24 AM
The guy lost his time - that's it. He can get his fees back by filing a non-paying bidder or cancelling the transaction. .
No, he can't get back his listing fees, unless this resells on the second try. And then, it's just the listing fee, not the gallery, or buy it now or any other fees. And of course he has to file to get the end of listing fee back. And time (even if that were all he lost) can be valuable..now he has to relist, prob sent you a note about the end of listing, may have removed it from his inventory. It's a pain.

I am always logged into eBay, (I click the keep me logged in) and even if I just placed a bid, it still asks for my password for each and every bid. It really isn't that easy to make a mistake and bid, so I can understand the seller's frustration.

I think he was nice to offer you something comparable, since it still means extra work for him. The bid was made, and if the seller isn't agreeable to you paying just the listing fees, then, the responsibility is yours to purchase. You could start over, but that doesn't erase the unfairness to the seller.

bgirldeb
12-10-2005, 12:02 PM
Wow- you have a smart DS!

If this guy's only issue is because it was a contract- a 7 y/o can not legally enter into a contract. That would not hold up in a court of law.

I wouldn't buy the sleeping bag- certainly not for your DS, since he needs to learn that he can't just go buy things on the computer. I also wouldn't buy anything else from the seller. Paying the seller his fees is more than enough to be fair on your part. You could have DS "pay" you then $ back through extra chores, etc.

And, like the others mentioned, if this affects your rating, just open up a new account. I think you would have done more than enough to reconcile. You should not be pushed into buying something from his store.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 12:05 PM
Believe me, I know this may be hard to believe..heck, it;s even hard for me to believe, but regardless this IS A TRUE STORY!!

Thank you to those that believed me. I mean really..WHY would I just make this up, and then post it here???

Like I said I am VERY new to Ebay. I have never even been on Ebay until yesterday, so forgive me if I was stupid enough to not have my guard up around my DS.

I didn't even know I was logged in! All I know is, I checked my email. I had received my confirmation registration email, so I clicked on the link to fiinsh up the registration process, which then took me back to ebay, and I started looking around. My DS came and got in my lap, and we were looking at pictures together in the buyer ebay store. I had to leave the room for a minute, and sat the lap top down. The was a line of rotating pictures at the bottom of the screen that you could make stop by placing your cursor over it, and then if you wanted to see the bigger picture you click on it.

That is what he did, and then apparantly when he couldn't get back to where the rest of the pictures were, he started clicking buttons. I went back and looked at the page, and the buy it now button is a big gray button beside the picture. I can easily see why he would have clicked on it!

I could NOT careless about the negative feedback issue. I have spent a many a year without ebay, and don't plan to become an ebay shopper now. I only registered yesterday because there was something I wanted to purchase for DS that I couldn't find in the store.

And yes...my DS is 7, and cannot read yet. He just turned 7, his bday was the end of OCT. We homeschool (bring it on :rolleyes: ), and made the decision to not start K5 until he was 6. He is doing great so far, but no he cannot read.

I know it was a accident, MY mistake, and I could even see why the seller would not believe the story, but I know that it's true, and that's all that matters to me. Geez is a little compassion really that much to ask. Believe me, I run my own business, as well as my DH. Things don't always go smoothly. I am just shocked that this is such a big deal.

I have decided to send the seller a check for $15.00. that's half the price of the item which he will still have and be able to resell.
I feel responsible for this mess, but not so much so that I'm going to be guilted into doing something that I don't want to do. He can take the check if he wants, and give me all the negitive feedback he wants. Guess I'll be banned from ebay forever..how will I survive??? :rolleyes:

ohiominnie
12-10-2005, 12:13 PM
And yes...my DS is 7, and cannot read yet. He just turned 7, his bday was the end of OCT. We homeschool (bring it on :rolleyes: ), and made the decision to not start K5 until he was 6. He is doing great so far, but no he cannot read.


I'm trying to think back....I don't think my ds was a great reader at 7. We also homeschool and he was an "almost 6" when we started kdg. He could read *some*....like the beginning reader books, but only those short words that followed every rule. I think, statistically, that boys are later to read than girls and while my dd as reading fluently at age 7, my son was not.

I hope that no one turns this into an issue about homeschooling and kids being able to read. That has nothing to do with it. My nephew struggled to read until he was about 12. Now he's an honor roll student. Public school, btw!

Brier Rose, :hug: !! Do what you can do. If need be, start over on ebay. Talk with your ds about clicking on things he doesn't know what they are (as someone mentioned, adult sites are too easy to get to on the net)

Cheshire Figment
12-10-2005, 12:26 PM
A few years ago my late wife received an e-mail for something similar. Here is what she received, her response, and the reply. The situation is not quite the same, but think about it.
---------------------
dear judy,

i wanna first thank you for selling my daughter the winnie the pooh ornament.... but i have a problem i let my daughter use ebay to buy one thing she wanted but she went on last night and buy 3 items and she dont have the money to pay for them... i told her before that this isnt a game that she can play around with... so i was wondering if you can do me a big favor and let my daughter go and relist your item im really sorry about all this trouble please forgive my daughter.... i dont think she really realize what was going to happen. i hope you understand what happened and do me this really big favor

please let me know how you feel??

steve x

------------------------------

Dear Mr. X:

I am sorry that you feel you are unable to honor your obligation. You have asked that I relist the item for sale. As you may be aware, I have already paid eBay the listing fee, gallery fee, and commission on sale. As the sale has been made, to list this again I would have to pay another listing fee, another gallery fee, and IF it sells, another commission. This is a Christmas-type item, and we basically have passed this year's Christmas season.

My husband, who is the security officer for a large federal accounting system, has told me that normally a person is held responsible for any actions taken with their User ID and Password. If another person enters the system with their User ID and password, it is either with the expectation that the owner will take full responsibility, or that the person hacked or stole the password and will be subject to criminal action. We assume that you do not want to take criminal action against your daughter, and so are willing to accept full responsibility for her actions.

At least she has only obligated you to a small ($9.99 + $5.00 shipping) amount, rather than something in the hundred dollar range. This may be a good time to give her a lesson in taking responsibility for one's actions. We assume that she receives an allowance, and/or has also been putting money away for a particular purpose. She should be aware that she has to use her own money to make the payments, and thus do without something else she wanted to spend money on.

I have noticed that you are a new user, with a positive feedback rating of six. I would hate to have to give you a negative feedback with a statement such as: "States daughter made bid. Refused to pay." as well as reporting this correspondence to eBay's Safe Harbor.

As I said before, I will not release you from this obligation. Please let me know promptly if you will be sending a check, a money order, or making payment by PayPal.

Sincerely yours, Judy T

-------------------------------------

dear judy

first i wanna thank you for being so kind and understanding!!! second ill handle my daughter the way i want ok!!!! you will get you check

merry christmas thanks for being so nice!!!!!

Steve x

bgirldeb
12-10-2005, 12:39 PM
A few years ago my late wife received an e-mail for something similar. Here is what she received, her response, and the reply. The situation is not quite the same, but think about it.


I think that letting your child use ebay to buy something versus them getting on it and clicking on pictures and buying something without your knowledge or their intention should have very different consequences.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 12:40 PM
Thank you to those that believed me. I mean really..WHY would I just make this up, and then post it here???
:
I don't think you made it up that your son somehow placed a bid. I do wonder if perhaps he reads more than you think though, and saw you put in your password.
I understand you feel bitter, but believe me, you are hearing from sellers that get that said to them all the time, so we are explaining to you why the person on the other end is finding it hard to believe. I've had people who had a sudden death (and yet they continue to bid under the dead persons name), their cat pushed the button, their account was stolen, their child, sister aunt, etc bid without permission, etc. Just this week, I had a girlfriend bid (according to the bidder) and he was mad at me, for sending a npb notice. I had no idea..I assumed it was him (he did pay, he'll give the item to her for Christmas). All of these do after a while add up, and so it's hard to know who to believe and who not..so the seller decided he was holding you responsible. I would have just asked for selling fees, and I think you are being more than fair. However, I don't know what has gone on with this seller recently, and for him you may have been the one he decided to make keep the contract (the contract isn't the 7 year old, but the registered ebayer whose password it is). Sorry this has ruined what could be a fun time on eBay for you.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 12:47 PM
[QUOTE=Cheshire Figment]
Dear Mr. X:
I am sorry that you feel you are unable to honor your obligation. You have asked that I relist the item for sale. As you may be aware, I have already paid eBay the listing fee, gallery fee, and commission on sale. As the sale has been made, to list this again I would have to pay another listing fee, another gallery fee, and IF it sells, another commission. This is a Christmas-type item, and we basically have passed this year's Christmas season.
[QUOTE=Cheshire Figment]

I offered to pay his listing fee, gallery fee, and commission fees.

C.Ann
12-10-2005, 12:55 PM
I am always logged into eBay, (I click the keep me logged in) and even if I just placed a bid, it still asks for my password for each and every bid. It really isn't that easy to make a mistake and bid, so I can understand the seller's frustration..
----------------------------------------

Yup.. This is the part I don't understand.. :confused3 I've been purchasing items this morning on ebay and EVERY time I buy something - even with the BIN - I have to type things in..

That's really odd.. Could it be some sort of "scam"? :confused3

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 01:03 PM
I don't think you made it up that your son somehow placed a bid. I do wonder if perhaps he reads more than you think though, and saw you put in your password.
That would be impossible, as I never entered my password other than when I made it up that morning to register. As I said I clicked on the link in my email to finish my registration that afternoon, and that to me back to ebay, and apparantly logged me in. My DS was no where around at this time anyway.


I understand you feel bitter


I do, but only because there are apparantly so many people in the world ready to pull one over on somebody, that nobody believes anybody anymore.

My DH tells me all the time that I live in my own little world where everybody is sweet and nice, honest and trustworthy.
I don't know why I set myself up like that. I always get proved wrong in the end, and it always feels like such a slap in the face.

robinb
12-10-2005, 01:05 PM
The guy lost his time - that's it. He can get his fees back by filing a non-paying bidder or cancelling the transaction. If he leaves you negative feedback, then start over with a new ID. Mistakes happen and this guy is trying to guilt trip you into spending $ at his "store."
{snip}
Anyway - my point is - don't let this guy guilt trip into spending $35 plus his shp/hldg fees when it was a mistake in the first place.

I have to agree with this. You made a mistake by leaving yourself logged in. Your DS made a mistake by clicking on a Buy-It-Now. The seller's original response seemed very fair: file a Non Paying Bidder against you to get his fees back. Then, it seems that he turned greedy.

I know you feel bad, but you contacted him to let him know about the problem right away. $15 is way too much for his fees. At most they are $3 and he would get half of that back if he files a NPB. I would send him $3 cash in the mail and be done with it. If he leaves you a negative, ditch that eBay ID and open up another one. I wouldn't let him hold your feedback hostage. It really isn't worth it since you can start over easily.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 01:07 PM
----------------------------------------

Yup.. This is the part I don't understand.. :confused3 I've been purchasing items this morning on ebay and EVERY time I buy something - even with the BIN - I have to type things in..

That's really odd.. Could it be some sort of "scam"? :confused3


Does it make a difference if it was a buy it now item. This was in an Ebay store and was not an auction item, if that makes a difference.

Like I said, I have never purchased anything on ebay, so I don't know what all he would have to have done. I'm not about to go click on a buy it now button to find out what the next step would have to be!

robinb
12-10-2005, 01:13 PM
Yup.. This is the part I don't understand.. :confused3 I've been purchasing items this morning on ebay and EVERY time I buy something - even with the BIN - I have to type things in..

That's really odd.. Could it be some sort of "scam"? :confused3

I think it depends on the browser you use and how it is set up. I use Firefox and I don't remember having to type in my password with I click on a BIN. Firefox remembers my passwords for me.

JERSEYGIRLINSI
12-10-2005, 01:54 PM
Hi, I'm a ebay seller myself...so I can speak on this side of the experience. When you list an item on ebay you pay a fee according to the detail amount, length of the auction, and a fraction of the actual amount the item ends up selling for. But not only that, if something is purchased as a BUY IT NOW, that removes the item from the auction totally, thus removing it from being seen by other potential buyers. So to just pay the fees for the original listing, and the new listing will never make the person whole. I personally find that people do "use" their children as the reason for mistaken bids. Once you are more familiar with how much you have to do to confirm and place a bid, you'll see why sellers take the "YEAH RIGHT" attitude towards the situation. If your young child did all of that, you have a smart one on your hands! Good luck with the situation, Just my two cents.

robinb
12-10-2005, 02:06 PM
But not only that, if something is purchased as a BUY IT NOW, that removes the item from the auction totally, thus removing it from being seen by other potential buyers. So to just pay the fees for the original listing, and the new listing will never make the person whole.

The seller has lost, at most, one day. He knows that he's not going to sell the sleeping bag to the OP and should have already re-listed it.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 02:32 PM
Hi, I'm a ebay seller myself...so I can speak on this side of the experience. When you list an item on ebay you pay a fee according to the detail amount, length of the auction, and a fraction of the actual amount the item ends up selling for. But not only that, if something is purchased as a BUY IT NOW, that removes the item from the auction totally, thus removing it from being seen by other potential buyers. So to just pay the fees for the original listing, and the new listing will never make the person whole. I personally find that people do "use" their children as the reason for mistaken bids. Once you are more familiar with how much you have to do to confirm and place a bid, you'll see why sellers take the "YEAH RIGHT" attitude towards the situation. If your young child did all of that, you have a smart one on your hands! Good luck with the situation, Just my two cents.

There wasn't an auction at all. It was just a buy it now item, so I'm assuming there would be no length of auction fees, and I did not "take" the item from a potential bidder.

I contacted the seller as soon as I found out what happened...within a matter of hours.

mum4jenn
12-10-2005, 02:38 PM
I imagine there are different ways the browsers let people handle Ebay. I have purchased on Ebay through bidding and Buy it Now and have used 2 or 3 different browsers through the years and if I remember correctly even the BIN there is a confirmation button you have to click after you choose the BIN feature.

With sending him the $15 that should make him more than happy.

I am sorry if my doubting that a 7 year old could read offended you. I guess it is possible for a 7 year old not be able to read but we just don't see it in our school system. I was basing my opinion on my own experience(my dd read simple books in PreK and was reading very well in Kindergarten.) Our system scores well above the state average so I guess I did not take homeschooling and lower performing schools into consideration.


I do hope you give Ebay another chance(with tighter security). It is a great way to get some great merchandise at great prices(or even hard to find items). I was able to find many Harry Potter items for my dd on Ebay that I have not been able to find anywhere else this late in the game!!

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 02:55 PM
I am sorry if my doubting that a 7 year old could read offended you. I guess it is possible for a 7 year old not be able to read but we just don't see it in our school system. I was basing my opinion on my own experience(my dd read simple books in PreK and was reading very well in Kindergarten.) Our system scores well above the state average so I guess I did not take homeschooling and lower performing schools into consideration.



I did not get offended. I just wanted to make it clear that he does not. Not yet anyway. We're working on it, and it's going well. We're taking it at a very slow pace, moving forward when he seems ready. I've never really been into the whole numbers thing...must do X by age Y. He's much more in to math and science than reading right now.

I also homeschool my DD who did know how to read VERY well at that age, so I can see how it might be hard to believe. Sometimes I just have to step back, and remember that just because I know I'm telling the truth doesn't mean someone else does.

cruisnfamily
12-10-2005, 02:58 PM
Just wanted to say that I do NOT need to type in my password every time I place a bid. That would be annoying! I don't know if it's my browser(mozilla) or what but once I'm logged in, I'm logged in and don't need to do it again.

robinb
12-10-2005, 03:16 PM
I did not get offended. I just wanted to make it clear that he does not. Not yet anyway. We're working on it, and it's going well. We're taking it at a very slow pace, moving forward when he seems ready. I've never really been into the whole numbers thing...must do X by age Y. He's much more in to math and science than reading right now.

I'm not a big fan of Homeschooling, but I have to say that you cannot compare the reading skills of children under the age of 7-8. Reading "clicks" with kids when it "clicks". There is no hurrying it. Some kids (like me) read before Kindergarten. Some kids (like the OP and my own DD) do not read until 1st grade. My 6 year old DD is just starting to read while other children in her class read chapter books. I can totally understand that a barely 7 year old would not be able to read and comprehend the instructions for an eBay Buy It Now. It is also no reflection on her DS (or the OP as an educator) that he does not yet read *or* someone else's child because they already read at 5. It all evens out once it "clicks".

DianeV
12-10-2005, 03:28 PM
I see there is a difference in the responses between ebay sellers and those who dont sell. Having someone end an auction with a buy it now is not such an easy thing to have to deal with. It does take away other people the chance to see it and buy it and at this time of year when Christmas is approaching even one day can make the difference in if you sell your item or not. Maybe someone was watching this item and planned on maybe bidding on it the next day or whatever. Now the item is totally gone from the system and the fees are lost along with the amount of exposure the item will get. Sleeping bags especially are big holiday gift sellers and I can totally understand the seller being upset about losing that time. And yes most sellers have heard that same "excuse" before and it makes it that much harder to believe.

I have even had adults say they didnt mean to buy it now, that they were just looking,..there are at least 2 steps to go through before the auction ends with a buy it now so either your son knows more about reading then you think or I dont know what to think.

I certainly wouldnt hold any of this against the seller when the seller didnt do one thing wrong. I understand your frustration but hopefully the $15 you offered will help.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 03:36 PM
I'm not a big fan of Homeschooling, but I have to say that you cannot compare the reading skills of children under the age of 7-8. Reading "clicks" with kids when it "clicks". There is no hurrying it. Some kids (like me) read before Kindergarten. Some kids (like the OP and my own DD) do not read until 1st grade. My 6 year old DD is just starting to read while other children in her class read chapter books. I can totally understand that a barely 7 year old would not be able to read and comprehend the instructions for an eBay Buy It Now. It is also no reflection on her DS (or the OP as an educator) that he does not yet read *or* someone else's child because they already read at 5. It all evens out once it "clicks".

Thank you for that, I needed it.:hug:

summerrluvv
12-10-2005, 03:37 PM
I see there is a difference in the responses between ebay sellers and those who dont sell. Having someone end an auction with a buy it now is not such an easy thing to have to deal with. It does take away other people the chance to see it and buy it and at this time of year when Christmas is approaching even one day can make the difference in if you sell your item or not. Maybe someone was watching this item and planned on maybe bidding on it the next day or whatever. Now the item is totally gone from the system and the fees are lost along with the amount of exposure the item will get. Sleeping bags especially are big holiday gift sellers and I can totally understand the seller being upset about losing that time. And yes most sellers have heard that same "excuse" before and it makes it that much harder to believe.

I have even had adults say they didnt mean to buy it now, that they were just looking,..there are at least 2 steps to go through before the auction ends with a buy it now so either your son knows more about reading then you think or I dont know what to think.

I certainly wouldnt hold any of this against the seller when the seller didnt do one thing wrong. I understand your frustration but hopefully the $15 you offered will help.

I mostly sell on ebay and have a difference of opinion than you I suppose. The seller knows the person doesn't want the sleeping bag so he can relist it immediately. Not much he's losing out on, especially when she offered to cover his fees.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 03:42 PM
I see there is a difference in the responses between ebay sellers and those who dont sell. Having someone end an auction with a buy it now is not such an easy thing to have to deal with. It does take away other people the chance to see it and buy it and at this time of year when Christmas is approaching even one day can make the difference in if you sell your item or not. Maybe someone was watching this item and planned on maybe bidding on it the next day or whatever. Now the item is totally gone from the system and the fees are lost along with the amount of exposure the item will get. Sleeping bags especially are big holiday gift sellers and I can totally understand the seller being upset about losing that time. And yes most sellers have heard that same "excuse" before and it makes it that much harder to believe.

I have even had adults say they didnt mean to buy it now, that they were just looking,..there are at least 2 steps to go through before the auction ends with a buy it now so either your son knows more about reading then you think or I dont know what to think.

I certainly wouldnt hold any of this against the seller when the seller didnt do one thing wrong. I understand your frustration but hopefully the $15 you offered will help.

Again, this was not an ebay auction with a buy it now option. It was simply a buy it now item listed in an ebay store. There were no other people watching or bidding and waiting to see what would happen with this item. I suppose someone else could have looked at it, and wanted to come back and buy it later. :confused3

At most the seller lost a few hours. I immediatly alerted him to the problem as soon as I found out.

I would be VERY happy to know that my DS could read better than I think he can, but that is just not the case here. As for the amount of steps that need to be taken to complete a purchase...don't have a clue. I've never bought anything on ebay in my life.

My DS does not have to "go behind my back", to deviously purchase something on ebay. He KNOWS all he has to do is ask, and I'll most likely get it for him!

dismom24
12-10-2005, 04:07 PM
I am also a seller and can not tell you how many times I have received the "my child bought this" excuse. I am not saying that you are not telling the truth, just that as a seller we get this excuse a lot. It can be very frustating when you depend on ebay for an income, but we are all human and people do make mistakes. You have provided good communication and tried to work out a comprise which seems fair.

The one thing that bothers me the most is that a 7 year old was allowed unsupervised on the computer. If he could click onto a buy it now item, he could just as easily access an inappropriate site. Parental guardian software is great, but none of them are 100%. I am not trying to judge or flame, just reminding that our children need parental monitoring on the internet..

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 04:30 PM
I am also a seller and can not tell you how many times I have received the "my child bought this" excuse. I am not saying that you are not telling the truth, just that as a seller we get this excuse a lot. It can be very frustating when you depend on ebay for an income, but we are all human and people do make mistakes. You have provided good communication and tried to work out a comprise which seems fair.

The one thing that bothers me the most is that a 7 year old was allowed unsupervised on the computer. If he could click onto a buy it now item, he could just as easily access an inappropriate site. Parental guardian software is great, but none of them are 100%. I am not trying to judge or flame, just reminding that our children need parental monitoring on the internet..

I understand what your saying, and I even agree with you. My DS usually never messes with the computer at all. He was only alone with the computer in this instance for about 5 minutes.

I had it on ebay, I was looking at the ebay store, He clicked on one of the pictures. To me that's a long way off from being able to accidentally navigate to an inappropriate site. It's not like he was surfing the internet or anything.

shades
12-10-2005, 05:34 PM
I disagree with this. First of all, he lost his listing fees. Secondly, at this time of year, you can get a higher price for your merchandise, so if he can't relist the item in a timely manner before the holidays, he may lose money in product value. JMO.

He can file a nonpaying bidder complaint and get his fees back - which, is what I stated in the response your are quoting. I assumed (yep, I know what assuming means;) that the buyer contacted the seller immediately - like, as soon as her son purchased the sleeping bag. It would only take the seller a matter of minutes to relist and it also sounds like (based on OP's statement) that he responded fairly quickly to her response.

Anyway - I still think the guy is only out his time...IMO. He may have lost a couple of hours as far as his sleeping bag being available for purchase.

I personally have about 600 feedback comments on my Ebay account. I'm a fairly experienced ebayer - been shopping there since 1998 - back when a majority of the people were fun to deal with. Sadly, I've experienced more bad than good over the past couple of years.

When I shop on Ebay - I'm typically on a shopping binge. I buy 3 or 4 things withing a matter of minutes. If I plan on trying the last second sniping game -I log on Ebay and from that moment on, I do not have to enter my password again because I've clicked the "remember my password" box.

I do believe this incident was a mistake. Heck, I've watched adults click through stuff on accident. Some people are just fast computer clickers. They see the buttons and click away. It would be extremely easy for OP's son to click his way through a purchase purely accidental.

I also really feel bad for the Ebay sellers that have to deal with all of the excuses they more than likely get - but, geez - OP was looking for advice - not flames and accusations :confused3

OP: You need to do what you feel is right for you. The seller will get his final "win" fees returned & he can relist. Even if he paid additional money for services that he will not get reimbursed - well, he would be out that money if the sleeping bag doesn't sell anyway. He knows this when he listed the item for sale. I do feel $15 is too much since this item was only $35. If you truly believe you owe this guy anything - I'd go with $5-6 as another poster recommended.

eam
12-10-2005, 05:46 PM
Hi, I'm a ebay seller myself...so I can speak on this side of the experience. When you list an item on ebay you pay a fee according to the detail amount, length of the auction, and a fraction of the actual amount the item ends up selling for. But not only that, if something is purchased as a BUY IT NOW, that removes the item from the auction totally, thus removing it from being seen by other potential buyers. So to just pay the fees for the original listing, and the new listing will never make the person whole. I personally find that people do "use" their children as the reason for mistaken bids. Once you are more familiar with how much you have to do to confirm and place a bid, you'll see why sellers take the "YEAH RIGHT" attitude towards the situation. If your young child did all of that, you have a smart one on your hands! Good luck with the situation, Just my two cents.

I agree, there is a lot to do to confirm a bid. I would buy the item and always remember to log off ebay in the future.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 06:23 PM
I so agree with this, although I'm both. I hate the time I have to spend on eBay now to make money, and don't want to deal with a deadbeat. Not knowing the person on the other end, I just assume it's a deadbeat. I have some items I have snipes in for as we speak. If someone did a buy it now, my snipes cancel and I would have no way of knowing that the item is stil available. On my own auctions, I have several watchers, and I have no way of knowing if they are planning on sniping.

I see there is a difference in the responses between ebay sellers and those who dont sell. Having someone end an auction with a buy it now is not such an easy thing to have to deal with. It does take away other people the chance to see it and buy it and at this time of year when Christmas is approaching even one day can make the difference in if you sell your item or not. Maybe someone was watching this item and planned on maybe bidding on it the next day or whatever.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 06:26 PM
And have it end on a Saturday? I'd have to hold that until at least Sunday night, more likely Wednesday afternoon, for that type of item. I'd have to know what day the seller had it planned to end..and assume he has a reason for that day for his type of item. Selling for me and my stuff is terrible on Friday and Saturdays.

The seller knows the person doesn't want the sleeping bag so he can relist it immediately. Not much he's losing out on, especially when she offered to cover his fees.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 06:27 PM
Auction buy it nows are also listed in stores. If the ending date is more than 10 days, then you can be sure it's a store item.

Again, this was not an ebay auction with a buy it now option. It was simply a buy it now item listed in an ebay store. !

DMRick
12-10-2005, 06:32 PM
He can file a nonpaying bidder complaint and get his fees back - which, is what I stated in the response your are quoting.

snip


. The seller will get his final "win" fees returned & he can relist. Even if he paid additional money for services that he will not get reimbursed - well, he would be out that money if the sleeping bag doesn't sell anyway. He knows this when he listed the item for sale. I do feel $15 is too much since this item was only $35. If you truly believe you owe this guy anything - I'd go with $5-6 as another poster recommended.

He won't get his listing fees back, unless this was the first time he listed and he sells it the second time. If he doesn't sell it the second time (or this is it's 3rd listing), he has to pay the listing fees for both listings. And as mentioned, he doesn't get the buy it now, or length, or gallery (store items have gallery costs too). And I agree that to cover the listing fees, would make me happy, as long as it's not a time sensative item.

DianeV
12-10-2005, 07:23 PM
I wasnt trying to flame anyone or make any accusations - I was just stating how it is from a sellers viewpoint (and I have over 4000 feedback as does my husband on his account) Alot of time goes into listings and yes when it ends can be a big deal too as mentioned. I just think that some dont take it seriously enough what a seller goes through in the whole process and even a couple hours does make a difference sometimes when you are busy (which many are at this time of year)

DMRick, you know I have had times when I have NOT agreed with you in the past but I see we are both on the same page here this time. :)

kilee
12-10-2005, 07:45 PM
For anyone who thinks the seller isn't loosing out-- they are wrong. He is right after this week the chances he'll sell are much slimer. This is pretty much the final day's for the holiday merchandise to sell. I think the OP bottom line is 100% responsible. She is fully responsible for her ds's actions- accident or not. So, she needs to owe up to that. Doesn't matter if he can read or not. He knew enough to click- and then again to confirm the buy-it-now. It's not an oooppps- "I hit 1 button 1 time now I bought something deal". It takes a bit more than that to buy any ebay item. Mistakes happen- but there are also mistakes that need to be owned up to and made right.

Vickie46
12-10-2005, 08:09 PM
I would just pay for the bag and resell it myself.

sk!mom
12-10-2005, 08:40 PM
For anyone who thinks the seller isn't loosing out-- they are wrong. He is right after this week the chances he'll sell are much slimer. This is pretty much the final day's for the holiday merchandise to sell. I think the OP bottom line is 100% responsible. She is fully responsible for her ds's actions- accident or not. So, she needs to owe up to that. Doesn't matter if he can read or not. He knew enough to click- and then again to confirm the buy-it-now. It's not an oooppps- "I hit 1 button 1 time now I bought something deal". It takes a bit more than that to buy any ebay item. Mistakes happen- but there are also mistakes that need to be owned up to and made right.

I agree with this. You should pay for the item. The mistaken bid was your responsibility- not the sellers.

Give it to your DS for Christmas if he wants it or use this to teach him responsibility by making him do extra chores to earn it since he bought it.

BTW, in 5 years of buying, I nor my children have ever accidentally purchased anything.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 08:40 PM
DMRick, you know I have had times when I have NOT agreed with you in the past but I see we are both on the same page here this time. :)
Heck, my memory is not that good to pay attention to who agrees with me or doesn't LOL. I figure it's just a board and we all have our opinions.

robinb
12-10-2005, 09:16 PM
Well ... I am a seller. A bit on eBay, a bit on Alibris and a lot on Amazon. My thinking is probably skewed by the rules that Amazon makes us follow and the (*gasp*) customer service that we are required to give. Things like shipping within two business days of an order and allowing returns within 1 week of delivery. It seems like customer service is a dirty word for some sellers on eBay. No returns. No exceptions. Too much work. Your first grader bid? You picked the wrong size? It won't fit your gadget? Too bad, so sad. You bid, now fork over the money. I described my item and if you made a mistake it's not my problem. I don't have time to deal with deadbeats like you.

No one wants to be treated like that. This seller started out being understanding. He originally said that he would be happy filing a NPB on the OP to get his fees back. That was reasonable as he could re-list the item within hours with very little trouble. Then, he began to come up with all kinds of ways to keep his grubby hands on her money. If I had a "0" feedback buyer who just started using eBay I would show more compassion. I would not try to figure out how I could bully a new buyer into buying something else from me instead.

summerrluvv
12-10-2005, 09:30 PM
And have it end on a Saturday? I'd have to hold that until at least Sunday night, more likely Wednesday afternoon, for that type of item. I'd have to know what day the seller had it planned to end..and assume he has a reason for that day for his type of item. Selling for me and my stuff is terrible on Friday and Saturdays.

This item was in the seller's store, where they are up for what..a month or so?

DianeV
12-10-2005, 09:31 PM
I dont know how you can call this "bullying" the buyer! Again, obviously you have not dealt with the many excuses sellers get left and right and the kid bidding on an item is one of them. Yes I know the buyer is probably being honest but I guess its one of those the bad ones ruin it for everyone else. You start off being really nice about things like this on ebay and when it happens over and over with all different excuses you lose that "compassion" or whatever you are talking about. I have a problem how the sellers is trying to get their "grubby" hands on something they have a right to get those hands on? I hope the seller eventually works something out but in all honesty they dont have to

RobinMarie
12-10-2005, 09:37 PM
My daughter clicked BUY IT NOW button after she GOOGLED about guinnea pigs. I got an email congratulating me for winning "About Guinnea Pigs" book.

We bought the book.

Donna
12-10-2005, 09:43 PM
I haven't read the last two pages of this thread...but i have been receiving alot of FAKE ebay emails telling me, thanks for your purchase and you owe $$ amount and when i go to MY EBAY WON column, there is nothing there. I didn't think there would be, i haven't bid on anything for awhile prior to this, but i wanted to be sure DS10 didn't somehow go nuts with ebay. I would seriously think about whether someone is scamming you. check your ITEMS WON column in MY EBAY page.

DianeV
12-10-2005, 09:44 PM
LOL, did you have to get a guinea pig now too or was she happy with just the book?


My daughter clicked BUY IT NOW button after she GOOGLED about guinnea pigs. I got an email congratulating me for winning "About Guinnea Pigs" book.

We bought the book.

robinb
12-10-2005, 09:50 PM
I dont know how you can call this "bullying" the buyer!

It's bullying because he said that he would file a NPB on the buyer to get his final value fee back and everything was OK. Then, he thought better of that plan and changed his mind and came up with a scheme to "keep the money". Plus, he's pulling this on a brand-new "0" feedback bidder who really doesn't know a darn thing. He's the expert.

No, I don't get many excuses from people who get cold feet. But when I do, I do as the seller originally suggested. As long as the item has not been shipped, I let the buyer off the hook and file a NPB on them to get my fees back. Sure, I'm out my listing fee, but I see that as a part of doing business. The same as buying bubble wrap and delivery confirmation. Then, I click the little button and relist the item. It's a crap shoot on eBay. Maybe the item will sell for more (yay me!) or it might sell for less (boo!). I have had items not get a minimum bid and when I relisted a bidding war started and I got more than my previous BIN.

DianeV
12-10-2005, 09:55 PM
Perhaps the seller thought about it some more and realized how little time is left for Christmas shoppers? Or perhaps they thought about it and didnt feel something was kosher? Who knows but its certainly not bullying anyone when the bid was placed with their own account. Each person has the right to run their auctions however they want and this is how this seller chose to deal with this one. It doesnt make him a 'bad' person! As I have said all along I do hope the seller works something out but they dont have to in this kind of situation

shades
12-10-2005, 09:56 PM
My daughter clicked BUY IT NOW button after she GOOGLED about guinnea pigs. I got an email congratulating me for winning "About Guinnea Pigs" book.

We bought the book.

:rotfl: :rotfl2: :banana: Too funny!

DMRick
12-10-2005, 10:07 PM
This item was in the seller's store, where they are up for what..a month or so?
I know that auctions are also in the store..that's why I mentioned, if it was listed for more than 10 days it would be a store item. I thought maybe since this was her very first day on eBay, the OP wouldn't have realized that just because it's in the store, it's not necessarily a store only item. Yes, if it's just a store item only and up for a month, the listing costs are low, and it should be able to quickly go back up.

As far as service goes, I do have good service, and my feedback speaks to that. However, I have no way of knowing how many times this seller has been burnt this week. I seldom have NPB's..if I get a few a year, I'm shocked. I have 6 sitting here right now, plus a girlfriend who bid without permission. In most cases, I do believe, that if the item is sized right on the auction, description is complete, I have no reason to spend time with refunds...which in some cases are buyers remorse. Just like an auction you attend locally, my sales, (unless I have made a mistake), are final. I don't happen to get returns (well, I did get one, but she didn't ask, just sent it..still her fault for not reading the auction, but it was easier to accept it, than to argue), but if I did, buyer remorse or a buyer sorry now they got their 6 yr old a size four hoping it would fit..well, nope, I wouldn't take it as a return. I would be fine with a mistaken bid, if they paid my costs..not happy, because I've got work into it, (I wish it was just a button pushed, but by the time someone wins my auctions, I have sent them an end of auction note apart from what eBay sends, within minutes, if I'm on, I've gone into my spreadsheet, filled it out for my income taxes, and pulled the item and addressed it (with a paypal label, if they paid right away), and sent it downstairs to the preship pile..if I pull it back out, I have to back everything out, and put it back into inventory) but I would accept it. This is eBay, and eBay is different from Amazon, and JC Penny's. That's just the way it is.

By the way, the OP said:
I told him to let me know what it is, and I would pay it. I really do not want this thing, but I don't want my mistake to cost the seller any money!

So did the seller assume she was offering to pay for the item? The fees? Somewhere I got confused, I think. I guess I didn't see where he was bullying her, just stating what he would do if she didn't pay..and since she didn't want the sleeping bag, he offered alternatives, trying to work it out for both of them.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 10:56 PM
By the way, the OP said:
So did the seller assume she was offering to pay for the item? The fees? Somewhere I got confused, I think. I guess I didn't see where he was bullying her, just stating what he would do if she didn't pay..and since she didn't want the sleeping bag, he offered alternatives, trying to work it out for both of them.

The seller knows I do not want the item, I told him exactly that, and then I offered to pay his fees because honestly the ONLY thing I feel responsible to cover is that. He responded...


We also have automated our tax books and we can only keep this accurate if
we have the sale taken off, paying the selling fee would only pay that
portion. The gross amount of sell would still be on our books.


and then went on to say that I could get something else in his ebay store for the same value instead.
I thought about, decided I did not want to spend 50.00 on something I had no plans to buy, and decided I would sent him a check for $15.00.

According to what I have learned here, this should cover his fees plus be a little extra for aggravation. Even though he will not just "let me off the hook", he has been very nice about the whole thing actually.

DMRick
12-10-2005, 11:13 PM
According to what I have learned here, this should cover his fees plus be a little extra for aggravation. Even though he will not just "let me off the hook", he has been very nice about the whole thing actually.
I'm glad you feel that way. I wish he had said ok to the fees, since it would have been a better experience for you. Just for my own curiosity..how many days were left on the item..I'm wondering if it was a store item, or an ebay item that went into his store. I thought maybe it was actually an auction item that had limited time and that was why he didn't want to just relist it. If not, then it really would have been nice of him to ok the fees (stores fees are much less for listing, and he would get back end of sale fees just by saying you both backed out). Another scenerio he could have played out, was to relist and "forgive" the fees if it sold.

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 11:20 PM
You know, as I said before, I run my own business, and my DH is self employed as well. We have had people back out of deals before where we had minimal time invested, and it would never occur to either one of us to try and get money out of it. Really, just always considered that a part of doing business.

Now if I had already invested supplies, or was losing money some other way because of a customer, that's different. I would expect to be payed for whatever I had in it. That is why I offered to pay the buyer what he has actually lost.

It's disappointing yes, but you win some, you lose some.

A few threads down there is an ebay buyer that sold something it turns out they didn't have. Amazingly that whole thread consists of nothing but how the buyer should be understanding about the whole thing and let it go, because it's not a big deal...happens all the time.

What if that buyer really wanted that item, and bought from you, thus missing out on other opportunities to purchase from someone, and now lost out the chance to ever own that item? Wouldn't that be a big deal to the buyer? But most sellers think they should just let it go. Seems like a double standard to me.

If I'd had known this thread was going to turn into something like this, I would have never even posted. I just had no idea how ebay works, and was confused about what to do, so first thing I thought was ask the disboards!

Stupid me. The way things have been around here lately I should have known better. I feel like I have gotten everything from being called a liar, to my son being a liar, to what kind of mother am I for letting him get a hold of the computer in the first place.:guilty:

I have no reason on God's green earth to come on here and lie about any aspect of this fiasco. And I am certianly not in denial when it comes to my son. He did not do it on purpose, and at least in THIS house my children have never been, and never will be punished for an accident, so no I won't be making him pay for the item either.

I don't feel I should have to buy the item, I do feel I should have to pay the seller any fees he would be out..end of story.

To those that actually helped me, thank you.

littleshamrock
12-10-2005, 11:22 PM
I say, Just resell it. That's what I would do!!

Brier Rose
12-10-2005, 11:26 PM
I'm glad you feel that way. I wish he had said ok to the fees, since it would have been a better experience for you. Just for my own curiosity..how many days were left on the item..I'm wondering if it was a store item, or an ebay item that went into his store. I thought maybe it was actually an auction item that had limited time and that was why he didn't want to just relist it. If not, then it really would have been nice of him to ok the fees (stores fees are much less for listing, and he would get back end of sale fees just by saying you both backed out). Another scenerio he could have played out, was to relist and "forgive" the fees if it sold.

I honestly don't even know. The whole thing is just such a blur now. I never even saw the item until it showed up in an email that I had bought it.

All I know is this person has an ebay store that has a rotating string of pictures at the bottom of the screen. You can get the line of pictures to stop my placing the curser over it, and then if you want to see a larger picture of it, click on it. This takes you to a screen with a larger picture, and beside it, a buy it now button. The are no places to place a bid, no time left of this item, nothing but a buy it no button. That's all I know.

moniot
12-10-2005, 11:45 PM
With all the spoof email out there before you do anything go to ebay and check your My Ebay. This will confirm an actual sale. This will double check your email just in case. If you have never really used ebay before you would not know about all the fake emails that are going around. I have gotten several about a watch I supposedly bought and never did. Just check before you send anything okay :bitelip:

jetstrip19
12-10-2005, 11:51 PM
I have never got a password prompt when I bid on soemthing for ebay, only when I sign in.

Brier Rose
12-11-2005, 12:03 AM
With all the spoof email out there before you do anything go to ebay and check your My Ebay. This will confirm an actual sale. This will double check your email just in case. If you have never really used ebay before you would not know about all the fake emails that are going around. I have gotten several about a watch I supposedly bought and never did. Just check before you send anything okay :bitelip:

Thank you. Another poster mentioned that earlier also, and then I got sidetracked and forgot to go check.

After I read your post, I went and looked, and unfourtunatly it looks like my DS really did buy it. I really do appreciate your helpful suggestion, that's what I was looking for when I posted here. :)

DMRick
12-11-2005, 12:12 AM
A few threads down there is an ebay buyer that sold something it turns out they didn't have. Amazingly that whole thread consists of nothing but how the buyer should be understanding about the whole thing and let it go, because it's not a big deal...happens all the time..
I wouldn't consider it "not" a big deal. If I did that, I would apologize, offer a discount on something else I had, but there isn't much more I could do. If someone sold something they didn't have, what could they do to fix it? They can't make it appear. No one is out any money. Yes, the buyer will be disappointed, but it isn't costing the buyer any money. Chances are the buyer doesn't hear several times a month, that my aunt, sister, girlfriend bid without my knowing it. I'm sorry this turned sour for you. I think so many of us sellers have had sooo many people give excuses lately, we are less forgiving than we once might have been. I really didn't think people thought you were lying, but I think we (at least I was) were just trying to explain to you why sellers have stopped believing it when they hear excuses. This is a first time for you..your son hasn't done this before. We hear them more and more.
It's good advice given..make sure your son really did bid, before you send money, by logging onto eBay and clicking at the top on My eBay.
I too am self employed, and most of my work is time, but I do bill people, if they don't pay for their item (I generally get a down payment before I start the work, to cover my costs and first hour). I have even sent a couple to a collection agency. I do write it off if they never pay, but luckily, it's not a common problem. As I said before, it is too bad he wouldn't let you just pay costs..but perhaps you were the 10th person this week, and he was frustrated.
Your first note asked what should you do, what should you tell the seller. I think most people answered in their opinion. I don't think they were slamming you, just giving their opinion. It's a message board and we all have lots of opinions when asked.

ohiominnie
12-11-2005, 12:41 AM
Our system scores well above the state average so I guess I did not take homeschooling and lower performing schools into consideration. (bold added by me)

WOW! Interesting juxtaposition of those two things there.

Wow.

Brier Rose
12-11-2005, 12:48 AM
Your first note asked what should you do, what should you tell the seller. I think most people answered in their opinion. I don't think they were slamming you, just giving their opinion. It's a message board and we all have lots of opinions when asked.

Yes, but how many "other" comments did I get?

Everything from my DS should be punished, to the subtle suggestions that this may not be a totally true story, and then even picking apart whether or not my DS can read!

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but feel like I got much more than just opinions on what to do.

I can't believe that I have been at this all day, or that I'm letting it bother me so much. The whole thing just makes me sad. :guilty:

Backing away now.

Samandmom
12-11-2005, 12:57 AM
I read threw most of the posts. I did not see mention of contacting EBAY. Is that possible and explain the situation to them?

DMRick
12-11-2005, 03:57 AM
I found the item, the man would be out .03 if he let her out of the sale and filed for ending fees for mutual withdrawal. These are instant buy it nows, if he put it right back up (he didn't so far) he would have been out a couple of hours. I don't think it would take much time to relist, because he uses Vendio and it's one click for what this is. He'll be out some time on his books, so a couple bucks is all I would send for the time he'd have to spend fixing them (just to ease my own conscience). He'd be foolish to neg her, a 0 as he has 100% high feedback after some mutual neg withdrawals and a few neutrals. I think we all have to assume, somehow it was an accident, she's beat herself up about it enough..she doesn't need me to add to it. She's right IMO, we were willing to let the seller off (who sold something they didn't have) with nothing more than.."I feel your pain". For me, it's time to let this buyer off too. I don't often let buyers who bid off, so this is a biggy for me :rotfl:


edited to add, this particular item has been listed since May in his store. Not sure what that has to do with anything, but I find it interesting.

JennaTX
12-11-2005, 05:05 AM
Wow, as someone who has been researching buying quite a few items on Ebay, I think after reading this my mind has been changed.

My sister has been buying on Ebay for quite a few years and when she heard that DH was looking to buy a new laptop computer, Visio Software, and a plotter, she told me to look on Ebay.

So I have been looking, and some of the prices are great, some are good, some are okay. So then I started looking at feedback, how many months/years they have been selling, etc. Well DH did buy his laptop from Ebay and all went well, and I am glad because it did save us a lot of money.

But after reading this thread, with so many sellers who say "oh, I get the I did not mean to buy it excuse all of the time", " I will leave negative feedback and then you will not be able to buy/sell on Ebay again." I don't think there is any reason to buy from Ebay.

Why put up with all of the "drama" of Ebay sellers just to save a few bucks?? If I buy something at Target, walk out to my car and turn around and walk back in and return it, there will be no problem. They won't say "well you knew that you bought this, so just keep it"

Sorry to the OP for hijacking your thread, but like you I am new to Ebay and was amazed by the responses that you got.

LoriZH
12-11-2005, 09:39 AM
Wow, bizarre story.

Maybe it was a "Buy It Now" transaction? That still involves at least two clicks in just the right spot. Maybe your kid is a genius!

The kid is 7, clicking buy it now, doesn't qualify a 7 year old as a genius, sounds like you're being sarcastic.

To the OP:
It happens especially when it's a buy it now, Ebay doesn't log you out automatically unless you've been away for a long while. I would have handled this somewhere else besides the Disboards due to the remarks like the one above.

DMRick
12-11-2005, 09:44 AM
But after reading this thread, with so many sellers who say "oh, I get the I did not mean to buy it excuse all of the time", " I will leave negative feedback and then you will not be able to buy/sell on Ebay again." I don't think there is any reason to buy from Ebay..
Where do the many sellers from this board say that they would leave a neg so the OP wouldn't be able to buy /sell on eBay again?

peachgirl
12-11-2005, 09:59 AM
Why put up with all of the "drama" of Ebay sellers just to save a few bucks?? If I buy something at Target, walk out to my car and turn around and walk back in and return it, there will be no problem. They won't say "well you knew that you bought this, so just keep it"

I think sometimes people forget that Ebay is not a retail outlet, it's an auction site. Would you expect to go to an auction in person and get the same customer guarantees that you get when you go into Target? I certainly wouldn't.

You can get some incredible buys on Ebay. The down side is that you are bidding on an auction and other than misrepresentation or fraud, it's a buyer beware situation just as it is in a real live auction. When I can get the prices Target can for their merchandise, I'll give the guarantees they give.

If you're not willing to take all the risks associated with buying at an auction, then Ebay isn't for you.


Btw...I'd never, ever bid on computers on Ebay. It's much too risky for my tastes.

C.Ann
12-11-2005, 10:35 AM
Stupid me. The way things have been around here lately I should have known better. I feel like I have gotten everything from being called a liar, to my son being a liar, to what kind of mother am I for letting him get a hold of the computer in the first place.:guilty:.
--------------------------------

I don't think ANY of this at all! I'm still thinking it may have been a "scam".. Unless I'm doing something wrong (I've been buying all weekend - winning auctions and using the BIN feature) it's not that "easy" to just "click" the button and a purchase has been made.. :confused3

I don't think your son made the purchase at all - and being a "bad" mom because your 7 yr. old had access to your computer? Oh please :rolleyes: .....people need to chill out here..

Whatever you decide to do, don't let the negative comments here get under your skin.. They're nonsense as far as I'm concerned..

Donna
12-11-2005, 11:53 AM
I think alot of sellers on this thread are venting their "ebay christmas frustrations" out at the OP's expense. I am a seller as well and yes, i've heard the 'my kid did this by accident' excuse but i have been on the OTHER end as well. My son bid on a Yugioh card once w/o me knowing. i was still signed in. the seller was very nice about it so one good turn deserves another. when someone gave ME that same excuse, i said, no problem, it happens.

mjbaby
12-11-2005, 01:08 PM
I seem to recall from a business and trade law class that contracts may not be legally entered into by minors without a parent's signature. That is, if someone's 17 year old manages to somehow get some cash together to buy a car and drives it away from the seller (let's say it's a used car bought from an individual) and then decides to repudiate the contract, he or she may ask for the money back at any time. And, in some states, the kid doesn't even have to give the car back.

Now, this puts the burden of proving that the OP's son did the clicking without the OP's knowledge but I imagine - depending how far the OP wanted to go with this - if a sort of diary of the day's events could give a level of back up to the story. So, if the OP remembers that she logged on to ebay, made a phone call to Aunt Sally, ran to the grocery store, came home to make another phone call, went to the neighbors to talk about the cookie exchange and came home to the "you win" email, there may just be cause for mediation to consider the case. Judges make awards and decisions all the time on the basis of diaries such as this - one reason that some executives keep their appointment calendars for years in case they're needed for lawsuits and investigations. My dad keeps his calendars for at least five years.

Anyway, it's not a terribly expensive item and so the lesson to be learned here is a cheap one. Still, if the OP feels strongly about the issue and is able to recreate her day to give support - with some level of evidence like store receipts, phone records, statements from friends, etc. - to her claim that she wasn't around when the purchase was made then she can probably get out of it - if she really, really, really wants to.

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 01:12 PM
Still, if the OP feels strongly about the issue and is able to recreate her day to give support - with some level of evidence like store receipts, phone records, statements from friends, etc. - to her claim that she wasn't around when the purchase was made then she can probably get out of it - if she really, really, really wants to.

:rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

Tiffann4k
12-11-2005, 01:25 PM
And yes...my DS is 7, and cannot read yet. He just turned 7, his bday was the end of OCT. We homeschool (bring it on :rolleyes: ), and made the decision to not start K5 until he was 6. He is doing great so far, but no he cannot read.


I am not sure if anyone else has made similar comments but from the looks of the original post ( before it was edited :rotfl: ) this person has no room to speak about a 7 year old not knowing how to read, I am sure they are an adult and they cannot even spell!


Originally Posted by mum4jenn
I can understand the seller not believing the story though because every 7 year ol I have been around (I work in a schol) knows how to read at that age!!

( Taken from Summerrluvv's post )

shades
12-11-2005, 01:34 PM
Now, this puts the burden of proving that the OP's son did the clicking without the OP's knowledge but I imagine - depending how far the OP wanted to go with this - if a sort of diary of the day's events could give a level of back up to the story. So, if the OP remembers that she logged on to ebay, made a phone call to Aunt Sally, ran to the grocery store, came home to make another phone call, went to the neighbors to talk about the cookie exchange and came home to the "you win" email, there may just be cause for mediation to consider the case. Judges make awards and decisions all the time on the basis of diaries such as this - one reason that some executives keep their appointment calendars for years in case they're needed for lawsuits and investigations. My dad keeps his calendars for at least five years.

Anyway, it's not a terribly expensive item and so the lesson to be learned here is a cheap one. Still, if the OP feels strongly about the issue and is able to recreate her day to give support - with some level of evidence like store receipts, phone records, statements from friends, etc. - to her claim that she wasn't around when the purchase was made then she can probably get out of it - if she really, really, really wants to.


:earseek: You are kidding..right?? This is a $35 sleeping bag....

Geez - I know I'm bored - which is why I continue to read this thread that has gone wayyy out of control...but, recreating the scene of the crime is probably wayyyy more energy & effort than OP wants - or, even should put into this issue. Good grief! I'll remember to never post my mistakes on this forum and ask for advice - especially, when it is an EBAY related issue. Now...let the flames begin :teeth:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

mjbaby
12-11-2005, 01:39 PM
:earseek: You are kidding..right?? This is a $35 sleeping bag....

Geez - I know I'm bored - which is why I continue to read this thread that has gone wayyy out of control...but, recreating the scene of the crime is probably wayyyy more energy & effort than OP wants - or, even should put into this issue. Good grief! I'll remember to never post my mistakes on this forum and ask for advice - especially, when it is an EBAY related issue. Now...let the flames begin :teeth:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


Of course I don't think she should do it - that's why I said the lesson to be learned was cheap. My point was, and clearly I didn't make it well, was that the buyer in question is underaged and therefore cannot be held to the contract. So, IF (and it's a big IF) the OP really didn't want to pay then there is most definitely an out. My point was in response to all of the comments that ran along the lines of "well, you're in a contract now" and the OP may not be contracted at all, by the terms of the law (which take precedence over whatever ebay may have to say on the subject).

So, yeah, my tongue was firmly in cheek in the context of my suggestion, but not in the substance of the suggestion itself.

NancyIL
12-11-2005, 03:16 PM
Just pay for the sleeping bag and be done with it.

ceecee
12-11-2005, 04:18 PM
Just pay for the sleeping bag and be done with it.
WELL SAID! That would be the right thing to do. Ebay is not Target and it does say a bid is a binding contract. Buy the sleeping bag and sell it, give it as a gift OR donate it to Toys 4 Tots! It is NOT the seller's fault if anyone lets someone else use the computer or a child bids. Buy it and be glad he didn't buy something more expensive.

DianeV
12-11-2005, 04:20 PM
Why would you even assume or insinuate the poster cannot spell? Perhaps they just arent the best typer? I hate when people get on others about so called spelling ignorance when sometimes its just plain typing too fast!


I am not sure if anyone else has made similar comments but from the looks of the original post ( before it was edited :rotfl: ) this person has no room to speak about a 7 year old not knowing how to read, I am sure they are an adult and they cannot even spell!




( Taken from Summerrluvv's post )

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 04:27 PM
I am not sure if anyone else has made similar comments but from the looks of the original post ( before it was edited :rotfl: ) this person has no room to speak about a 7 year old not knowing how to read, I am sure they are an adult and they cannot even spell!




( Taken from Summerrluvv's post )



IT IS CALLED A TYPING ERROR !!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS WHY I WENT BACK AND EDITED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am an excellent speller however when I type fast and furious at times my fingers miss a key or don't press down hard enough OR my fingers hit two keys at once because I am using a DISNEY keypad and it is made for little kids fingers.

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 04:44 PM
I am not sure if anyone else has made similar comments but from the looks of the original post ( before it was edited :rotfl: ) this person has no room to speak about a 7 year old not knowing how to read, I am sure they are an adult and they cannot even spell!




( Taken from Summerrluvv's post )



And let me add.........HOW DARE YOU insinuate that I do not know how to spell. Should I go back and read every one of your posts to find all of your typing errors and then post them and call YOU stupid?????

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 04:46 PM
I am not sure if anyone else has made similar comments but from the looks of the original post ( before it was edited :rotfl: ) this person has no room to speak about a 7 year old not knowing how to read, I am sure they are an adult and they cannot even spell!




( Taken from Summerrluvv's post )



And by the way check out your profile at the bottom .....that SHOULD be need to LOSE 85 pounds NOT LOOSE!!!!!!! TALK about calling the kettle BLACK!!!!!!!!!!



AND after looking at some of your posts it looks like you are the one with spelling problems. You seem to use "your" instead of "you're" quite a bit as well as other errors...hmmmmmmm.typing mistakes or what???....hmmmmmmm????????????

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 04:52 PM
And let me add.........HOW DARE YOU insinuate that I do not know how to spell. Should I go back and read every one of your posts to find all of your typing errors and then post them and call YOU stupid?????


...and how dare you belittle someone else's child because they cannot read. :rolleyes:

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 04:55 PM
I did not belittle a child. I just have never heard of a 7 year old not able to read.

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 04:59 PM
I did not belittle a child. I just have never heard of a 7 year old not able to read.

Well now you have. Like many others have pointed out, not all 7 year olds can read enough to know what they are clicking on when on ebay. Your comments were snarky and uncalled for, specifically the homeschooling and lower performing schools part. My son will be seven next month and attends a great school, however he does not read yet.

peachgirl
12-11-2005, 05:03 PM
Just pay for the sleeping bag and be done with it.

Wow....Seven pages before someone was able to give the correct answer to the problem in a single sentence.

Nice job!:)

mum4jenn...

Pointing out spelling mistakes is usually done by those who can't spell very well themselves. Funny how it always comes back to bite them in the butt, huh? :teeth: Besides, there's an old rule on the Dis.....the first poster who stoops to playing with the spell checker loses (or looses depending on who is typing;)) the argument.

Just buy the sleeping bag and give it to the Salvation Army. You'll feel better and your child will have ended up doing a good deed!:goodvibes

DianeV
12-11-2005, 05:05 PM
Oh brother..some people are so darn touchy here. You cant say this, you cant say that...the statement was that she hadnt heard of a child 7 years old not being able to read before...did she say this posters child is dumb or stupid? Did she come out and say it was "only" because he is homeschooled? I swear some are so darn defensive its ridiculous

Instead of defending all that why not realize that sometimes our kids make mistakes and its out job as parents to deal with it instead of putting blame on the "victim" who happens to be an honest ebay seller!

MinnieM3
12-11-2005, 05:09 PM
I did not get offended. I just wanted to make it clear that he does not. Not yet anyway. We're working on it, and it's going well. We're taking it at a very slow pace, moving forward when he seems ready. I've never really been into the whole numbers thing...must do X by age Y. He's much more in to math and science than reading right now.

I also homeschool my DD who did know how to read VERY well at that age, so I can see how it might be hard to believe. Sometimes I just have to step back, and remember that just because I know I'm telling the truth doesn't mean someone else does.

I've been in elementary ed for almost 20 years and have never seen a 7 yo that could not read. Weird. I know he can catch up, but most kids I know are reading beginner books by 5yo. I'm sure he'll take off once he's taught. Does he know his letters yet?

MinnieM3
12-11-2005, 05:17 PM
The seller knows I do not want the item, I told him exactly that, and then I offered to pay his fees because honestly the ONLY thing I feel responsible to cover is that. He responded...


We also have automated our tax books and we can only keep this accurate if
we have the sale taken off, paying the selling fee would only pay that
portion. The gross amount of sell would still be on our books.


and then went on to say that I could get something else in his ebay store for the same value instead.
I thought about, decided I did not want to spend 50.00 on something I had no plans to buy, and decided I would sent him a check for $15.00.

According to what I have learned here, this should cover his fees plus be a little extra for aggravation. Even though he will not just "let me off the hook", he has been very nice about the whole thing actually.

Could a compromise be that you could still purchase the sleeping bag and give it to Toys For Tots or a needy child in your area? I'm not sure what the status of the item is now, but just a thought. At least it would serve a worthy purpose.

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 05:21 PM
Well now you have. Like many others have pointed out, not all 7 year olds can read enough to know what they are clicking on when on ebay. Your comments were snarky and uncalled for, specifically the homeschooling and lower performing schools part. My son will be seven next month and attends a great school, however he does not read yet.


And bythe way.......the OP WROTE a reply saying she was NOT offended by my not having heard of 7 year old children unable to read. Go back and read it again.

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 05:39 PM
And bythe way.......the OP WROTE a reply saying she was NOT offended by my not having heard of 7 year old children unable to read. Go back and read it again.

Why do I need to go back and read it again? I read what you typed and still find it snarky. Perhaps that wasn't your intention, however that is how it came across.

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 05:42 PM
I also wanted to add. Those that have children who are having trouble reading, www.starfall.com is a good site. My son loves it. He can read short books like the HOP books, but that's about it. This site is definately helpful.

DMRick
12-11-2005, 05:46 PM
I've been in elementary ed for almost 20 years and have never seen a 7 yo that could not read. Weird. I know he can catch up, but most kids I know are reading beginner books by 5yo.
Well, now I'm getting embarrassed. My college educated daughter couldn't even count past 5 until she was 6 (no matter how hard I worked with her, and she was in public school..oh and she majored in math and is a draftsman now) and my college educated son was barely reading at 7. But their social skills were great! (I did spell check in word..I hope I spelled everything OK). I believe the OP mentioned her decision some time ago, and is satisfied with what she decided.

C.Ann
12-11-2005, 06:11 PM
Good grief! Certainly a lot of "Christmas spirit" on this thread.. :( This is just plain sad...

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 06:12 PM
Why do I need to go back and read it again? I read what you typed and still find it snarky. Perhaps that wasn't your intention, however that is how it came across.


I am unfamiliar with "snarky". I don't have a dictionary handy to see what it means.

Maybe one day there will be a tool for the DIS so readers of the board can tell what "tone of voice" the written word was meant to be taken.

Donna
12-11-2005, 06:13 PM
Good grief! Certainly a lot of "Christmas spirit" on this thread.. :( This is just plain sad...

I was thinking the same thing, C.Ann. Maybe it's time a moderator close this thread before it gets any worse. I'm surprised anyone posts their situations on here anymore for fear of getting cyber-attacked!

mum4jenn
12-11-2005, 06:16 PM
'Tis the season to be jolly....fa la la la la la la la la

Nik's Mom
12-11-2005, 06:23 PM
Wow. All of this fighting over something so simple. Sorry to the op. What a mess. Anyway, lesson to be learned here. Never leave your child unattended on ebay. I'd say keep us posted to the op, but I bet this thread will be locked. Good luck to you, op. :flower:

RobinMarie
12-11-2005, 06:40 PM
LOL, did you have to get a guinea pig now too or was she happy with just the book?

Lucky for me, just the book. Unfortunately she is beyond gps and is now into horses. :earseek:

Brier Rose
12-11-2005, 07:18 PM
All I can say is wow. I am just so hurt over this. I had a question, and the first people I thought of to ask was the dis. After all, what a nice helpful bunch right? What a fool I was.

I would have never thought after several years here, that I would ever be one of those posters that gets their feelings hurt, and runs away from the boards, never to be seen again. Now I'm not so sure. I know there are a lot of good and kind hearted people around here. I heard from several of them, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I'm just so tired of all the nasty.

I can take it when it's directed at me, but the comments against my DS are just too much. I'm sorry you all can't know what a sweet smart little boy he is. Yes, I know I'm biased, I am his mother after all, but I do know he is not a liar, and he his certainly not stupid or "behind". I guess that's my fault for not pushing him to read by a certain age. Chalk another one up to the bad mommy in me I suppose. I am very happy with the choices we have made in the school dept., and I'm not about to start defending them here.

Thanks again to those that cared to help me with my problem. I won't make the mistake of ever posting one here again.

Merry Christmas! :guilty:

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 07:25 PM
All I can say is wow. I am just so hurt over this. I had a question, and the first people I thought of to ask was the dis. After all, what a nice helpful bunch right? What a fool I was.

I would have never thought after several years here, that I would ever be one of those posters that gets their feelings hurt, and runs away from the boards, never to be seen again. Now I'm not so sure. I know there are a lot of good and kind hearted people around here. I heard from several of them, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I'm just so tired of all the nasty.

I can take it when it's directed at me, but the comments against my DS are just too much. I'm sorry you all can't know what a sweet smart little boy he is. Yes, I know I'm biased, I am his mother after all, but I do know he is not a liar, and he his certainly not stupid or "behind". I guess that's my fault for not pushing him to read by a certain age. Chalk another one up to the bad mommy in me I suppose. I am very happy with the choices we have made in the school dept., and I'm not about to start defending them here.

Thanks again to those that cared to help me with my problem. I won't make the mistake of ever posting one here again.

Merry Christmas! :guilty:

:grouphug: :grouphug:

tarheelmjfan
12-11-2005, 07:32 PM
Well, now I'm getting embarrassed.

I too am embarrassed, but it's because of what this thread has turned in to. Discussions should never stoop to this level in an adult world. I'm now sorry I even started reading it. :guilty:

KarenAylwood
12-11-2005, 07:33 PM
Brier Rose~ I haven't read the entirety of this thread since I first posted (I think I was post #3 or something) but had no idea that it would get this nasty.

:hug:

Please don't feel like you can't share stuff on DIS! I'm sorry it got this bad and that you've been insulted the way you were. I just found it humorous is all (the original situation that is)... had no clue anyone would take it like they did.

Kids grow at all different speeds. For Gods sake I sucked on a pacifier until I was like 9 years old. Come on! :rotfl: Your son is doing just fine and this ebay thing will blow over. Sorry it came to this :guilty:

Vijoge
12-11-2005, 07:48 PM
I also wanted to add. Those that have children who are having trouble reading, www.starfall.com is a good site. My son loves it. He can read short books like the HOP books, but that's about it. This site is definately helpful.

Thanks so much for that link.

DMRick
12-11-2005, 07:54 PM
Brier Rose :grouphug: ..please know that what ever pace your son goes at is your business, no one elses (I'm not admitting what age my son started to walk at..he had sisters to fetch for him). Please just forget any hurtful things said, and please don't be afraid of posting questions here. I feel very bad for some of the things said, and if I had any part in hurting you, please accept my apology. You made a good decision (via PM) about what you decided to do, and I'm glad you got some help with the decision.
Hopefully we can get back to enjoying each other.

DianeV
12-11-2005, 07:54 PM
I honestly dont think anyone was intentionally nasty. The OP was the first to bring up about her son not being able to read AND mentioned his age. It was almost like she was using that as an excuse for what happened. People commented on that and she took offense. I'm sorry she took it all that way and I am sorry others did too but I really dont think anyone was calling her son dumb or stupid or anything. But if you are going to bring something like that up and try to use it as an excuse (which is how it sounded) people WILL comment on it.

Nik's Mom
12-11-2005, 08:24 PM
Look, there are some 7 year olds who have trouble reading. Let's stop fighting about that. The main focus should be that the op shouldn't have left ebay unattended while logged in. I think she's learned her lesson. Now, lets stop with the fighting.

Debbie
12-11-2005, 08:31 PM
I guess that's my fault for not pushing him to read by a certain age.
Nope, reading is developmental. Kids learn to talk at different ages. Kids learn to walk at different ages. Kids learn to read at different ages. I teach grade one, and, yes, we have children not reading. We have children not reading in second....and even third grade. They are not quite ready. When they 'click' (it's an educational term :teeth: ), they will usually catch up just fine.

Personally, I would have paid for the thing, learned my lesson and gifted someone. :earsboy: But that is ME, not you. We're different, just like kids....learning to read. :grouphug:

summerrluvv
12-11-2005, 08:36 PM
Thanks so much for that link.

Your welcome. Their workbooks are great too. I got quite a few for free a while ago when they offered them at no charge. I see they charge now, but the prices seem reasonable.

MinnieM3
12-11-2005, 09:02 PM
I also wanted to add. Those that have children who are having trouble reading, www.starfall.com is a good site. My son loves it. He can read short books like the HOP books, but that's about it. This site is definately helpful.

Starfall is a GREAT site!

MinnieM3
12-11-2005, 09:14 PM
Nope, reading is developmental. Kids learn to talk at different ages. Kids learn to walk at different ages. Kids learn to read at different ages. I teach grade one, and, yes, we have children not reading. We have children not reading in second....and even third grade. They are not quite ready. When they 'click' (it's an educational term :teeth: ), they will usually catch up just fine.

Personally, I would have paid for the thing, learned my lesson and gifted someone. :earsboy: But that is ME, not you. We're different, just like kids....learning to read. :grouphug:

Kids DO learn things are different ages. I truly wasn't trying to be nasty, but in my exposure as a teacher, I had not come across a child not reading at age 7. I was curious as to if the OP's son just hadn't been taught yet (which I think is the case, which is totally her right!) or if he he had but just couldn't read.

Years ago, children starting to read later than they do now as far as school goes. It really wasn't a 1st grade critical skill. It was more like age 7 back then. A different world...and not so bad sometimes! Now they HAVE to be reading at the end of 5K at my school. Does seem a bit early.

Sorry to OP if I came across as harsh. I did say that I figured he'd (your son) take off with reading once he learned.

ceecee
12-11-2005, 10:40 PM
So what was the final outcome on the Sleeping Bag???

jessica52877
12-11-2005, 11:39 PM
Even if the guy puts in a NPB notice he doesn't get his listing fees back and the gallery and buy it now are NEVER refunded period. He could get his final value and that is all. Now if it was out of a store then it was just pennies, but I HATE it when someone does this to me. I list things in specific orders so they are in my store that way and then it gets all messed up and there is no way to get it exactly where it was.

It is more then "just" time he lost. I sell a ton of stuff on ebay, am a stay at home mother and don't have time to mess with having to relist, go to ebay to do non paying bidders, on top of it, he has to wait the 7 days. I think it takes alot of clicks to buy something and when someone tells me a story like that 9 times out of 10 I don't believe them (just because I get it all the time). Sure your story is true and it is unfortunate. I am with pay for it and sell it yourself.

tarmand
12-12-2005, 10:37 AM
All I can say is wow. I am just so hurt over this. I had a question, and the first people I thought of to ask was the dis. After all, what a nice helpful bunch right? What a fool I was.

I would have never thought after several years here, that I would ever be one of those posters that gets their feelings hurt, and runs away from the boards, never to be seen again. Now I'm not so sure. I know there are a lot of good and kind hearted people around here. I heard from several of them, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I'm just so tired of all the nasty.

I can take it when it's directed at me, but the comments against my DS are just too much. I'm sorry you all can't know what a sweet smart little boy he is. Yes, I know I'm biased, I am his mother after all, but I do know he is not a liar, and he his certainly not stupid or "behind". I guess that's my fault for not pushing him to read by a certain age. Chalk another one up to the bad mommy in me I suppose. I am very happy with the choices we have made in the school dept., and I'm not about to start defending them here.

Thanks again to those that cared to help me with my problem. I won't make the mistake of ever posting one here again.

Merry Christmas! :guilty:


So sorry that you were hurt. Remember that the DIS is full of good people, but it is equally full of judgemental, self-righteous people. Don't let them get to you. People will say many things from behind a keyboard that they would never have the guts (or lack of tact for that matter) to say in real life. Just let it roll off your back and move on.

DMRick
12-12-2005, 11:32 AM
Now if it was out of a store then it was just pennies, but I HATE it when someone does this to me. I list things in specific orders so they are in my store that way and then it gets all messed up and there is no way to get it exactly where it was.
It was from a store, and it has been listed since last May. I assume he prob had several and just had it keep being relisted. He uses Vendio, so the time would be negligible. I believe the OP settled on a price she thought was fair, and he gets to resell. I understand the seller's frustration (been there), but not everyone has that kind of money to put out because of a mistake, and I think paying the fees and a small amount for his trouble is really all anyone can expect for an accident. Selling it herself would be very difficult, since this was her very first foray onto eBay. No feedback and no knowledge of how to sell.
And actually people do get listing fees back sometimes for auctions. If it didn't sell the first time, but did the second, then the second listing fees are credited. In this case, the listing fees were .02, so for him, I assume his time is more the issue.

The Disney Bunch
12-12-2005, 12:14 PM
As Ebay points out each time there is a transaction - when you bid it is a contract- so whether you bid or your son accidently bid, you entered into a contract. I think you owe it to the buyer - maybe this would be a good lesson to teach your son- you have to honor your obligations even if you regret it afterwards.

This should not be turned into an attack on the OP for how she is raising her son. Each child is different and we all should realize that things are different on the other side of the fence- leave her alone!

etwinchester
12-12-2005, 12:29 PM
Technically, if her son bid, the contract is not binding/legal unless he is 18 or over. I saw an episode of Judge Judy where an eBay seller actually took a buyer to court over an item on ebay (high bid $). Since the Judge decided that the son did do it by accident (she questioned him and all), the buyer/defendant was not held liable.

I know seller's hear this excuse a lot and I'm not defending anyone, just stating what I saw in an episode. I'm sure no one would take someone to court over a small eBay item, but then again, there was a dispute over a $5 ladder that I saw before (totally insane).

mickeyfan2
12-12-2005, 02:33 PM
Yes, but how many "other" comments did I get?

Everything from my DS should be punished, to the subtle suggestions that this may not be a totally true story, and then even picking apart whether or not my DS can read!

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but feel like I got much more than just opinions on what to do.
I am a little confused. I have read every post up to this one and do not remember somebody saying punish your son. Make him pay for the item was stated. Is that the punishment you mean?

I do believe your post to be true. I have never sold on EBAY, but I could see how the buyer could not believe you. The time of the year probably adds to the doubt.

IMHO you should pay for the item. You could then resell it on EBAY, give it to your son or give it to a charity.

hsmamato2
12-12-2005, 03:13 PM
As Ebay points out each time there is a transaction - when you bid it is a contract- so whether you bid or your son accidently bid, you entered into a contract. I think you owe it to the buyer - maybe this would be a good lesson to teach your son- you have to honor your obligations even if you regret it afterwards.

This should not be turned into an attack on the OP for how she is raising her son. Each child is different and we all should realize that things are different on the other side of the fence- leave her alone!
Ditto! how did this turn into an attack? She never bought ebay before, the question was answered- the proper ebay thing to do is pay for a mistake- and yes, all kids learn at their own rates. To suggest anything different is insulting.
That's like saying all grownups know good manners by a certain age. :rotfl:

emh1129
12-12-2005, 03:46 PM
Brier Rose :grouphug:
Primarily, your son is nobody else's business; like a pp said, people say things online that they would never say in real life. I have also worked in an elementary school as a substitute teacher; there is such a wide spectrum of abilities, especially at that age. Your son will learn everything he needs to know~ when he's good and ready ;)

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I think you are being very fair to offer the $15 check. I sell on e-bay a lot and, as a seller, I would be ok with that.
I think offering the $15 is being honest and fair.. I have had buyers just ignore the invoices and never make contact. At least you're reimbursing all of his fees plus some.

And if his sleeping bag was listed since May.. chances are pretty darn good that it wouldn't have sold in this time frame anyway :rotfl: I'm sure that he realizes that.

shades
12-12-2005, 04:05 PM
Technically, if her son bid, the contract is not binding/legal unless he is 18 or over. I saw an episode of Judge Judy where an eBay seller actually took a buyer to court over an item on ebay (high bid $). Since the Judge decided that the son did do it by accident (she questioned him and all), the buyer/defendant was not held liable.

I know seller's hear this excuse a lot and I'm not defending anyone, just stating what I saw in an episode. I'm sure no one would take someone to court over a small eBay item, but then again, there was a dispute over a $5 ladder that I saw before (totally insane).

Thanks for posting! Judge Judy has ruled! The circumstances are similar and the law is on OP's side.

And...good grief...all kid's learn when they learn!

Now....has anybody found any new freebies today, or what?? :rotfl: :banana:

Cheshire Figment
12-12-2005, 05:00 PM
Thanks for posting! Judge Judy has ruled! The circumstances are similar and the law is on OP's side.
No, the law is not on the OP's side.

I was, among other things, The Security Officer for the Central Accounting System of the Federal Courts for about 15 years. Normally a person is held responsible for any actions taken with their User ID and Password. If another person enters the system with their User ID and password, it is either with the expectation that the owner will take full responsibility, or that the person hacked or stole the password and will be subject to criminal action.

We assume the OP does not want to take criminal action against her child so she should be willing to accept full responsibility for the child's actions.

DMRick
12-12-2005, 06:51 PM
I'm not quite sure what a security officer for the CAS, etc, is, (is that a criminal lawyer?)however, this very thing is discussed often on various ebay boards, and I have yet to see a post from someone who was able to make this "contract" stick. She has offered to refund his expenses, plus some. I'm betting it won't go any further than that. I've also never seen a post on criminal action against a child for "bidding" on eBay. I hope she doesn't feel threatened by the thought. Gosh, I wish I could find someone willing to enforce this "contract" on one of my non payers.


No, the law is not on the OP's side.

I was, among other things, The Security Officer for the Central Accounting System of the Federal Courts for about 15 years. Normally a person is held responsible for any actions taken with their User ID and Password. If another person enters the system with their User ID and password, it is either with the expectation that the owner will take full responsibility, or that the person hacked or stole the password and will be subject to criminal action.

We assume the OP does not want to take criminal action against her child so she should be willing to accept full responsibility for the child's actions.