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kaylajr
12-06-2005, 11:52 AM
okay I guess i just need to get this off my chest

When I first read there was an issue with the character swap i figured
Hey I am new here and don't really get all the details so I will let these adult women work it out themselves

Just for the record MeanLaureen has been unavailable for awhile due to work
so I as a newbie did what I thought was best at the time

Then I read that more and more people were getting upset so I pmed KatDisney myself offering help or to at least get and explanation

Did I post here that I PMEd her ?? NO should I have?? :confused3 :confused3 I really don't know but I know some of you think it would have made a differnce

Then time goes by and I confess I did not read the posts everyday
I didn't honestly think I needed to

so one day KatDisney PM's me back
so I come here and check out the thread
I see she aplolgized and the swaps are arriving so i post
let s all move on and be forgiving

than all of a sudden I start getting PM's that I didn't do my job and We Mods should have handled it WHAT???

Only one person said anything to me before KatDisney returned and now that it was seemingly settled the PMS start

so I came again and said it is over lets move on and if we start withthe personal attacks again Iwill close the thread
Imean what good is a thread that breeds hurtful feelings and
some of you take that as a threat Again I am :confused3 :confused3

then I get a PM
and I quote

sometimes over on the cooking/crafting boards you come across as very harsh and it's got to be your way or the highway. I don't get warm and fuzzy from your posts and I try really hard not to post back to them because they make me crazy.

I don't make the no personal attack rule which is the one I was refering to but Yes i do have to enforce it and BTW i do agree with it

So I hear you all lost the warm and Fuzzy feeling here

Why is that ??

because of one swap gone bad??

because I am one of the MODS here??

I guess i am confused

Please share your thoughts here
I would really like to clear the air and try to work together

goofymom/pop
12-06-2005, 12:02 PM
Well I wasn't involved in the swap that had problems...and I certainly haven't had any problems with you or your posts....you have been very helpful with my "secret" post and getting it on the boards for me.

Seems like we need a little pixie dust and a group hug around here.....

MomOf2DisneyKids
12-06-2005, 12:06 PM
Seems like we need a little pixie dust and a group hug around here.....

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

4ltlTinks
12-06-2005, 12:23 PM
I too feel that we need to forgive and move on. I was satisfied once she acknowedged her mistakes and apologized. I was just as upset as everyone else...even posted once during the ordeal, but we all make mistakes. I don't think we would want our mess-ups dwelled on for weeks, so I too feel that it's time to chalk it up as a learning experience and go on.

As far as how you handled the situation...I don't think I would have done it any differently. You hadn't received a response from her either, so I feel it would have just fueled the fire further if you had let us know that she hadn't communicated with you either. Not an easy thing...you'll never make everyone happy. I'm a teacher and have had to accept that fact or drive myself crazy trying to please everyone.

I find these boards to be a very friendly and welcoming place! Thanks to everyone for making it that way! Let's choose to lower our stress levels over the whole situation and move on, OK? Please? (Here I go again...trying to make everyone friends!)

nicki dahling
12-06-2005, 12:27 PM
Ok, I wasn't in the swap ( and at this moment I am thankful I wasn't ). I don't know you from adam, and your post haven't effected me personally but I get what is upsetting some of the ladies here. And frankly I think it started not just with the swap post , but when you and some of the ladies first became mods and all of the uproar over the board being seperated.

I agree with who ever sent the pm that sometimes your post do come off as being less then warm and fuzzy ( especially threatening to change stuff, or shut it down when people were looking for answers to a very upsetting situation. Which included people's hard earned money and time ). But I think that's because knowone here really knows you and it seems like you became a mod for a board that you hadn't even been a part of. ( I don't even know if you scrap or do crafts, because I had never heard of you until you became a mod here ) . And when you did become a part of this particular board it "seemed" as if it was all negative. I'm not saying that's what you intended at all , but its like the stranger marrying into the family ( without notice ) and then that family is asked to welcome them in and the stranger walks in and starts to fuss, and change the furniture around in the family's home without even a how do you do ?

I think your first thought ( which was to let the ladies work it out ) would have been the better route to take. Especially since they seemed to be working it out and your comments seem to come to late. I am a mod on another board, so I understand the position you are in ( I even understand the behind the scenes stuff ). But I'm also a mod who post regular on the board ( that I moderate ) and have tried to establish a relationship with the people there. I think that if you were more "present" here and not just when there is trouble ( once again I am not saying this is what you intended , it's just coming out that way ) you would find that we are a great group of ladies, who sometimes disagree, but usually ( given time ) can work it out among ourselves .

I think the swap situation is under control and most of the ladies just want to move on. And I also think most would except you if you just spent a little time over here really getting to know us. Now that just my 2 cents and I may be totally wrong , but you asked.

Cyndi princess:

WDWMom
12-06-2005, 12:35 PM
I can only speak for myself, but when you posted among the "I received my package, hope you're feeling better threads" it seemed out of place. Your post would have made sense if there were a bunch of negative ones, but there weren't. Now that you explained your post (due to multiple pm's and get out one response to many) I see that it makes sense (but not in that spot). It just didn't make sense among the postive posts.

Now that said. I don't hold any bad feelings toward katdisney. Things are being resolved and everyone is getting their swaps. I also understand what you were trying to do by not getting involved. I thought of pm'ing you, but thought it wouldn't do any good if she was not reading her pm's from others, so I see why you didn't tell us. No problem.

I think we all need to move on and remember what season we are in.

nicurn
12-06-2005, 12:35 PM
kayla, since it's my pm that you are using as your example.... my issue with the swap was the fact that there was no communication. I don't think there were any "personal attacks" made, yes there was speculation as to what happened and yes I was one of the speculators. However, I was actually in the swap and just wanted to know where it was. There were several other threads about it as well and we all were trying to reach her to see a) if she was ok and b) where the swap was. It started to get out of control when people who weren't in the swap started adding their 2 cents, but then the thread had recovered, people were posting that they got their packages... it was all good. As for your response to my pm here on the boards...

So I hear you all lost the warm and Fuzzy feeling here

Why is that ??

because of one swap gone bad??

because I am one of the MODS here??


the lost warm and fuzzy feeling has nothing to do with one swap, it's more the overall tone now. I don't really care who the mods are and it's not a job I'd want or even be good at (since I tend to say exactly what I think). Do I agree with you posting my pm to you here on the message boards? no not really but hey, whatever. If you want to delete the thread, that's fine, it's within your moderating rights. It would have died away by itself. As kim possible would say, "so not the drama". I'm done now. maggie

Spinning
12-06-2005, 12:45 PM
Simple, PM should be kept Private.
I did not PM you I said what I needed to say in the public forum. I think that people may be upset due to the fact you jumped on all of us after the issue had been resolved, by us not by the mods. I am only speculating this is the reason why some people sent you PM.
Also you are saying there were personal attacks. I must have missed those in all threads. I know people speculated what happened to the items and what a person could possibly due with 25 of the same items.
I think this is in poor taste to air this on here. In a public post. And since you aired part of the PM I must say I agree. I know when the changes were happening on this board you were very harsh about it. You came here not knowing any of us or how we worked and pretty much told us to get over it. Thankfully that issue has been put on the back burner and we all moved on.
Now once again I feel like this is a passive aggressive way to say listen to me or else.
So can we just move on? The issue for the swap is over resolved and people have moved on. Now I feel even worse Cathy due to your posting here. To me your new post have now directed everyone to the problems that was caused by the swap so in making it worse.
I really don't care who the mod is on this board and for the most part we never needed one and in a lot of respects don't to resolve our problems.
So I hope you can move on from this and drop it.

kaylajr
12-06-2005, 12:54 PM
kayla, since it's my pm that you are using as your example.... my issue with the swap was the fact that there was no communication. I don't think there were any "personal attacks" made, yes there was speculation as to what happened and yes I was one of the speculators. However, I was actually in the swap and just wanted to know where it was. There were several other threads about it as well and we all were trying to reach her to see a) if she was ok and b) where the swap was. It started to get out of control when people who weren't in the swap started adding their 2 cents, but then the thread had recovered, people were posting that they got their packages... it was all good. As for your response to my pm here on the boards...

So I hear you all lost the warm and Fuzzy feeling here

Why is that ??

because of one swap gone bad??

because I am one of the MODS here??


the lost warm and fuzzy feeling has nothing to do with one swap, it's more the overall tone now. I don't really care who the mods are and it's not a job I'd want or even be good at (since I tend to say exactly what I think). Do I agree with you posting my pm to you here on the message boards? no not really but hey, whatever. If you want to delete the thread, that's fine, it's within your moderating rights. It would have died away by itself. As kim possible would say, "so not the drama". I'm done now. maggie


See no one would have known who the PM was from
but you claimed it
I used yours as an example cause it seemed to get right to the heart of the matter

nicurn
12-06-2005, 12:58 PM
I realise that, but it was a Private Message perhaps you shouldn't have thrown it out there. I stand behind what I said though. maggie

nicki dahling
12-06-2005, 01:00 PM
Your response right there may be part of the reason people don't feel that warm and fuzzy feeling here anymore. Sometimes it really is about the way people say stuff. And in the internet world , words mean even more when you can't see a face.

Cyndi princess:

See no one would have known who the PM was from
but you claimed it
I used yours as an example cause it seemed to get right to the heart of the matter

bubbasmom99
12-06-2005, 01:34 PM
When everything first started, I remember thinking "where are the mods?" but then I just figured that they would let us resolve it amongst ourselves and step in if things got out of hand.

I will admit that some comments about KatDisney could have been borderline attacking but that was just because we were assuming and presuming the worst. My old boss used to say "in the absence of data, people make up S^^^" and it is so true. Without facts, we are left to make up the details as they fit into the picture.

I think the timing of Kayla's follow up post was odd, because it was in the middle of a bunch of "I got mine, everything's great" posts. I think a post earlier on that said "I'm trying to get a hold of her as well -- let's be patient" would have worked much better.... but since everything is in the past and we're trying to move on, I'd be willing to just get on with other things.

Stephres
12-06-2005, 02:38 PM
I don't participate in the swaps so I can't comment on that, but I do know that the changes made here were not made in a kind way. They were announced by people who didn't know us and some of posts seemed condescending to us. This is our home and we felt we had to defend it to people we didn't know. That is not your fault, except that the initial wording could have been explained better and in a kinder way.

A private message should not be shared on the board, unless both parties agree. I do not understand your motivation to do so unless you are trying to make people feel bad or call attention to how you are being wounded. I do not understand why you cannot deal with each message individually instead of making a post to everyone asking why we have lost our "warm and fuzzy" feeling. Different people had different issues that they didn't want aired on the board. I had moved on from the initial problem (implementing changes to this board) and hadn't really thought about it until this post.

So you want our opinion? I agree with Maggie: you do come across as harsh and unbending. On another board, you might not, we might just be extra-sensitive. But that is my opinion in regards to the problems you are having on this board.

Belle0101
12-06-2005, 03:16 PM
I wasn't in the swap mentioned so I don't feel it right to say anything about it.

However, I would be very offended if I had sent a PRIVATE Message to someone and it was aired without my permission. Private does mean secret, personal, not public. Look at it this way - say a co-worker sent me a personal memo about some changes that may happen in the workplace and I took that memo and tacked it to the board in the lunchroom. I really don't think that would go over too well.

This board warm and fuzzy? No, it's more like this :cold: . I used to post more on this board and if I wasn't posting then I was reading posts looking for the next great scrapbook idea. Not anymore, at least not with the frequency I used to. It just doesn't "feel" right anymore. The entire tone is different now and I don't care to be a part of it. Sorry.

pattyT
12-06-2005, 04:05 PM
See no one would have known who the PM was from
but you claimed it
I used yours as an example cause it seemed to get right to the heart of the matter


Thats funny cuz when I first read it i KNEW who it was from -
some of us have been posting here for years and we know eachothers 'tone' and ceratin key words we use...

many you are just lucky Maggie didn't hit you with her other favorite key words! :earseek:

WDWMom
12-06-2005, 04:33 PM
Thats funny cuz when I first read it i KNEW who it was from -
some of us have been posting here for years and we know eachothers 'tone' and ceratin key words we use...

many you are just lucky Maggie didn't hit you with her other favorite key words! :earseek:


:rotfl2: :rotfl2:

Patty I thought the same thing :rotfl2: :rotfl2: I knew it was maggie without a doubt. And your right, I'm surprised she didn't use a few choice words, but they could have been edited :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

nicurn
12-06-2005, 04:50 PM
:rotfl2: y'all are killing me! :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: I didn't post them cause that wouldn't be polite. But since y'all already know my favourite saying, I don't have to post. :rotfl2: maggie

kaylajr
12-06-2005, 04:51 PM
Okay Please read this in a nice tone as that is how it is meant

you all think the board merge was my idea and that is what started the hard feeling well I am Truly sorry about that it was not my idea to begin with

as for the PM yes I used nicurn's but I didn't say who it was from
and I used hers because she so quickly and precisily narrowed done the feeling
so i thought Hey I can't say it better than that
I NEVER would have said who it was from and 99.9 % of all PM"s I do keep private I just thought since she wrote it so well I would use that example

Truely sorry if I offend her or anyone with that

I really don't see myself as Harsh
many of you say you don't know me and for that I apologize
you say you don't know if i even belong here cause you dont' know if i cook or scrap or whatever

well no I don't scrap
I am learning to cook
and as for crafts yes there are some I do
I was really hoping to learn from you all since you all seem so good at what you do

So again I apologize if I offended
I am sorry I am new to the MOD thing and didn't know I should have jumped in earlier and then when i did i guess that made it even worse

I would love to just move on and let it Die as some have suggested but I get the feeling I am unwanted around here
Not saying I am throwing in the towel and leaving but asking a serious
question
how am I suppose to be a Good Mod here
if you all don't want me around and don't want to give me a chance

MomOf2DisneyKids
12-06-2005, 05:00 PM
Hi Kayla :wave:
Thanks for volunteering your time to be a mod ... I couldn't do what you do.

I hope all of this is over soon...for *everyone's* sake. :grouphug:

kaylajr
12-06-2005, 05:03 PM
Okay I have rethunk this all
I know I am a nice person and if I give up you will all be missing out on the chance to get to know me :teeth:

so I am staying and I amgoing to try to remember to add different smilies to all my post so you all will know what tone I am posting in :)

Stephres
12-06-2005, 05:27 PM
I think that is a great start. :)

MomOf2DisneyKids
12-06-2005, 05:48 PM
:cheer2: :cheer2:

goofymom/pop
12-06-2005, 07:17 PM
please stay....:)

and please girls lets talk about fun stuff now.....please:)

KatDisney
12-06-2005, 08:02 PM
I agree, let us just drop the this, get back to what we all love and move on. It's been the drama bomb and now it is time to be defused.

Merry Chritmas and Seasons Greetings to you all

Kat

scrapcreator
12-06-2005, 09:44 PM
I'm a relative newbie around here, with nowhere near the numbers of posts that you have. You've asked for some feedback, so here are my feelings:

The post you added to the lengthy Character swap thread was not in good timing. People had moved on, they were sending "I've received my swap" thanks and concern for her health. To post those comments at that point was not helpful, and to be honest, came off in a punishing tone of voice. It would have been more helpful to post sooner that you were in contact with Kat and everything was going to be worked out (reassuring). Or you could have made a separate, generic post,gently reminding everyone to treat each other with kindness at this time of year.

I am also of the opinion that PM's are personal messages, and that as a moderator you should set an example by not posting them, even if they are great examples. I really don't want to start seeing posts about peoples pm's - I want to see scrapbooking & crafting posts.

That being said, I think adding smilies are a great idea. You'll find that I use way too many, lol! :cool1:

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Jeanne

dreams91
12-07-2005, 01:18 AM
now that it was seemingly settled the PMS starts


Okay, I had a hard time getting past that sentence... took me a while to see that you meant PM's. Not PMS. :confused3 I thought, hmm.... is she saying something here about us ladies... :rotfl:

I'm glad you are staying. It has been a trying time lately, but really, it is a great group of ladies.

PixieDust32
12-07-2005, 03:38 AM
Hi Kayla!

:grouphug:

kaylajr
12-07-2005, 05:49 AM
Okay, I had a hard time getting past that sentence... took me a while to see that you meant PM's. Not PMS. :confused3 I thought, hmm.... is she saying something here about us ladies... :rotfl:

I'm glad you are staying. It has been a trying time lately, but really, it is a great group of ladies.
OMG :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

Yes I meant PM's Not PMS :teeth:

chessie
12-07-2005, 11:08 AM
The title to this post, To all PLEASE READ, in a combination of caps and bold drew me into this post. I was not a part of this swap nor a part of any of the threads concerning this swap. I used to be a regular contributor to this board, but I have been off for some time. I naturally clicked on this thread because I thought it was something important for me to know. It was not. I didn't need to be made a part of this thread. I am going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume that the intentions of this thread was not to bring people into the issue that were not involved and to have them take sides. Maybe a change of title is in order.