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View Full Version : Your Guests Inviting "others" to come along too!


vascubaguy
10-02-2005, 01:35 PM
I just wanted to vent a little (maybe a lot).

When I found out I was going to WDW for a conference in April 2006, I decided to stay an extra week and turn it into a vacation. Since I only had a few DVC points at OKW, I decided that rather than spending a grand or so on hotels I'd just do an SSR add-on. So I did that and then in the excitement told everyone that I was going to be staying at a DVC resort and showed them pictures of the resorts, etc. DBF and I are both pretty giving and we like to have people along with us to share the magic! However, in the last week I think that is changing.

It all started a few months ago when I learned about the conference. I told one of my best friends that I was going down to WDW for a week but was going to head down the week before to turn it into a vacation and stay at the BWV. I sent her links to some pictures and told her that if she wanted to join us, she was welcome to come along because she wouldn't have to pay for a hotel, just airfare, tickets and food. She went with us on our trip earlier this year and we had a blast. Ok, so I booked a std view studio at BWV for the 3 of us during that first week. I figure 3 in a studio wouldn't be too crowded. All was fine and well until this past Friday when she sent me a IM and asked if it would cost extra if a 4th person joined us, becaues she wanted to bring her new bf with us. Let me just add that she lives about 4 hours away from me now so I don't see her that often anymore, so it's not like I can just go over and meet her new bf and get to know him before the trip. Plus, all I know about him is that he is/was involved in illegal drug activities and doesn't have a job. When I found out all of this stuff I couldn't believe what I she was with him to begin with (she has 2 kids!). She has a lot going for her too... just got her MS degree and has a great job. Now this guy... needless to say I don't have a good impression of him and I'm not going to be inviting him along. (I think I need to ask her why she wants to take her bf along and not her 2 kids - who have never been and are almost teenagers!) This isn't the end of the story though!

That is just the first week! The 2nd week of the stay is when I'll be in the conference most of the day (and some evenings). We won't be staying at a DVC but I'm hoping to be able to get work to let me stay at the BWI, BC or YC. Well, my dbf invited one of his co-workers to join us so he wouldn't be alone all day. She's never been and really wants to go. So I said that that she could come down for that 2nd week. Well, that has now expanded a little because she has now decided that she wants to bring her baby along too (she was going to leave the baby with her husband). I think the baby will be 9 months old at that point. Now I love babies, but I just don't think it would work out. I mean we will be in either a regular hotel room or a studio and I have to go to bed semi-early so that I can get up early for the conference....

Okay, so back to my best friend... I am trying to deter her away from the idea of bringing her bf along. So, I told her that we had a 4th person coming along on the trip (but I didn't tell her when they were coming), and she had the nerve to ask me if we could univite that person so that she could bring her bf!

That's for the trip in March 2006.... but in just a couple of week we are heading to Disneyland for our birthdays. Well, my brother and SIL live in San Diego and said they were going to drive up to DL and spend the day with us. My SIL said they might drive up the night before and would get a hotel room. Well, I told her there was no sense in doing that, we had a sofa bed in the hotel they could sleep on that night. So... my brother calls me the other day and says they are bringing a friend of theirs with them. He proceeded to say that they'd just bring their air mattress in case one of them needed to sleep on the floor. To beat all, the night they want to come up is Friday, Oct 21st. I told them numerous times that we were going to be at the Halloween Treat party at DCA, which the tickets for that have been sold-out for awhile now. So I guess they are going to expect to get there and give us a call to leave the party to meet up with them (not going to happen).

I think I'm just completely over inviting people along now, and I'm ready to uninvite everyone that I've already invited! I'm also ready to just stop telling people altogether that we are members of DVC. Everyone seems to believe that they can just come stay with us whenever we go!

I guess I should add this as one of the few "negatives" of DVC membership!

Oh well, even if I unvite them all... I'M STILL GOING! :goodvibes :teeth:

CarolMN
10-02-2005, 01:57 PM
Sorry you are in this mess - but you do know it is a mess because you don't want to say no, right?

Just tell your friend, that you are sorry, but it will not work to bring someone else along. (Don't give a reason - that is an invitation to negotiate/argue, etc.). Say you understand if she doesn't want to come without her new BF and maybe the four of you can travel together another time. (Personally, I would be very uncomfortable sharing a studio with another couple. No privacy and only one bathroom).

You also need to have a talk with your DBF - even if he owns the DVC contracts with you. Neither one of you should invite anyone else to come along on your vacations without clearing it with the other person first.

IMHO, your DBF should rescind his invitation to his coworker unless he or the coworker is paying for an extra room.

FWIW, being alone at WDW isn't all that bad. Would it really be all that terrible to be by yourself during the business trip?

Best wishes -

vascubaguy
10-02-2005, 02:26 PM
Sorry you are in this mess - but you do know it is a mess because you don't want to say no, right?

Just tell your friend, that you are sorry, but it will not work to bring someone else along. (Don't give a reason - that is an invitation to negotiate/argue, etc.). Say you understand if she doesn't want to come without her new BF and maybe the four of you can travel together another time. (Personally, I would be very uncomfortable sharing a studio with another couple. No privacy and only one bathroom).

You also need to have a talk with your DBF - even if he owns the DVC contracts with you. Neither one of you should invite anyone else to come along on your vacations without clearing it with the other person first.

IMHO, your DBF should rescind his invitation to his coworker unless he or the coworker is paying for an extra room.

FWIW, being alone at WDW isn't all that bad. Would it really be all that terrible to be by yourself during the business trip?

Best wishes -

You're right... I don't want to say no or yes. :rotfl2:

I'm not so much worried about the privacy issue, but moreso spending it with someone I don't know, and already have a bad impression about. Oh, and my dbf did ask before he invited his co-worker along. He's not to fond of flying and didn't want to fly down with me and fly back early by himself. He also didn't want to be by himself while I was at the conference. However, he told me that after he thought about it, he thinks he'd be perfectly fine to go to the parks and hang out by himself.

Originally I thought about going solo for the business trip only. I mean several of my co-workers are going down as well and many other people I know from other colleges and universities. So I wouldn't have any trouble socializing with folks after the conference sessions end. I'm sure we'd be hitting up Jellyrolls and going over to DTD. However, I figured if work is going to pay for my airline tickets I might as well take advantage of the trip and turn it into a vacation. My airfare would be covered and my accommodations for that extra week I would use points... so all I'd have to do is cover food and annual passes. The 2nd week work is paying for all my expenses. However, at this point, a solo trip is sounding better and better!

CarolMN
10-02-2005, 02:48 PM
LOL, I understand completely about the not wanting to say yes or no. :teeth:

Hope it all works out to your satisfaction.

vascubaguy
10-02-2005, 03:09 PM
Thanks Carol :wave:

keishashadow
10-02-2005, 03:31 PM
Absurd...your F is offered a free place to stay @ WDW & she think's nothing of inviting another person along? Sounds like an ideal trip to me...nothing like the possibility of someone getting busted for drugs while they're on your reservation.

Additionally, not to pass judgement, but as a mother...what is she thinking? If she gets pulled over for a traffic stop and her significant other is holding any substantial amount of illegal substance(s): her car can be seized, she will wind up in jail & her kids in the care of CYS! Add to the list of "mother felonies" that she'd consider going to WDW by herself, when her teenage children have never had the opportunity! When asked, many pre-teens say it's too kiddie-like, but would have a great time once they're @ WDW (and even better if you take them to Universal for a day).

You're a patient man - IMO there's 2 types of people, "givers" & "takers". I'd compile an itemized bill for 1/4 the cost of the room; including maintenance & hand it to your DBF's "taker"...bet that would be the end of the boyfriend coming along.

Good Luck.

DVC-Don
10-02-2005, 04:34 PM
I invited my sister to stay a few days with us in a 2 bedroom at OKW a couple of years ago. So she shows up with a cousin of ours and his wife without any advance notice and says "I read you can have 8 in here so I figured I'd bring them along." :earseek: ***? I said that there would not be 8 and if they wanted to stay in WDW to call and book a room. They were stunned but called and got a studio at OKW and paid cash for it themselfs. No one takes advantage of me and my sister has not ever been invited again.

Cinderella
10-02-2005, 05:01 PM
Oh dear. What a mess - you are really just going to have to say no to these people. Point out to your friend with the baby that you need uninterrupted sleep for the conference. As for your friend with the druggy boyfriend - you say you live four hours away from her, so just tell her you are no longer going. You could tell her that you do not want the guy to come, but that might cause problems in your friendship. Do tell these people though - you are already stressed and you don't want them spoiling your vacation - that isn't what DVC is all about.

JodyTG
10-02-2005, 05:22 PM
I invited my sister to stay a few days with us in a 2 bedroom at OKW a couple of years ago. So she shows up with a cousin of ours and his wife without any advance notice and says "I read you can have 8 in here so I figured I'd bring them along." :earseek: ***? I said that there would not be 8 and if they wanted to stay in WDW to call and book a room. They were stunned but called and got a studio at OKW and paid cash for it themselfs. No one takes advantage of me and my sister has not ever been invited again.
Way to go! This is exactly what I would have done. I can't believe the nerve of people inviting other's on a trip that they've been invited on.

mckymama
10-02-2005, 06:54 PM
You go DVC Don!!! I am lol at the "***" comment. I've never seen that on these message boards. :rotfl2:

Ducky4Disney
10-02-2005, 07:14 PM
Yeah, I think you might be better off just uninviting folks and starting over with just you and DBF. We got this to we could take family, but now I'm getting guff and guilt about who goes with us when. :rolleyes2

First I took my Dad because he's never been and I don't see him very often. In June we had DH's cousin for a couple nights as a graduation gift for her and because we don't see her very often (this was my second time seeing her in 11 years). Now we have my MIL/FIL coming down for a few days for several reasons. MIL wants to visit family that lives in FL (late husbands sister and fam - see above mentioned cousin) and for the F&W Festival. MIL/FIL will LOVE that, they are such wine freaks.

My Mom has been claiming that I'm never going to take her. Well, she has health problems and is in a wheel chair. She doesn't like to go out in her wheel chair sometimes, so I can't imagine taking her to WDW with it. You never can tell if/when she's going to have surgery or be hospitalized. She's much better now, and if things stay that way, we'll take her next year - as long as my stepfather will ler her go ($$).

Yes, the joys of DVC and family! Sorry I hijacked the thread!

D4D

doubletrouble_vb
10-02-2005, 10:29 PM
Not that you asked for advice but I would suggest that you

a) just uninvite the people you asked or

b) tell each of them that the invitation was for them only. It's a vacation for you and four people in the room is one more than you want to deal with...especially the baby the second week. Be polite but firm...and to the point. "It's my vacation, I don't want to do that" goes a long way towards ending the conversation...no excuses, no explanations, nada.

bavaria
10-02-2005, 10:45 PM
Uh oh, I just wanted to chime in and send you some sympathy... this could end up with bad feelings either way.

I don't know what to tell you, others have given you good advice, but if you don't resolve it you will probably not have as much fun planning your trip as you might without this hanging over it.

Best of luck and hope it works out!

rocketriter
10-03-2005, 12:01 AM
The best advice you're getting--in several posts--is to reshape the trip the way YOU would enjoy it, and not try to get the people you're turning away to agree with you. If you give them a reason with an upturned voice, if you ask them what they think about it, they will disagree and start to shove! Instead, with a downward inflection tell them that this is how it's coming down. Don't worry about their feelings. (They didn't worry about your feelings, after all.)

LisaS
10-03-2005, 12:22 AM
Not that you asked for advice but I would suggest that you

a) just uninvite the people you asked or

b) tell each of them that the invitation was for them only. It's a vacation for you and four people in the room is one more than you want to deal with...especially the baby the second week. Be polite but firm...and to the point. "It's my vacation, I don't want to do that" goes a long way towards ending the conversation...no excuses, no explanations, nada.I agree with this advice, particularly option "b". If I were in this situation, that is the option I would choose. Having someone involved with drugs staying in your room while on vacation and a possibly fussy baby in your room while on a business trip both sound like disasters in the making to me. I would tell these people that the invitation was for them only and that it just isn't workable for them to bring along anyone else.

Vascubaguy, you are such a nice guy to have invited these people in the first place. Just remember, it's OK to set limits with friends and family and say "no" to unreasonable requests, nicely but firmly.

Good luck! And remember, we're going to need closure here. Unless you think that's an unreasonable request, in which case, feel free to say "no". ;)

dianeschlicht
10-03-2005, 06:34 AM
I agree that option B is the best solution so far.

I guess I might uninvite all of them for this time, and tell them there is no room for 4, and you really didn't want to spend your vacation with a stranger, so let's forget it this time, and plan a trip sometime in the future when they can come with as a couple and you can get larger accommodations. As for the co-worker with the baby....pretty presumptive. That one would have to be out too, or maybe they could get their own room. Would DBF be okay with either paying for their room or using points for a seperate studio?

Since you are going to be in a studio, it would not be comfortable or fun to share with another couple when you don't know half of that other couple. I just would NOT do it. By telling your friend she can only come alone this time, and maybe she can bring her DBF next time when you have more room. Of course, I am stupified that she wanted to bring him instead of her kids, who have never been to WDW!!!! I guess I would have invited her and the kids long before I would allow a stranger to come with.

Do you know the co-worker of DBF's? How presumptive is that, to assume you could bring a baby along?!? NO, that one should just be uninvited or told the baby is not welcome. If your DBF is a grown man, he'll survive flying down by himself.

crisi
10-03-2005, 07:40 AM
When we brought my mother in law I was in terror that she would invite my brother in law - which would have been pleasant enough. The real problem is that my now ex-sister in law would certainly have invited herself along. And that would have created a huge mess - first off because I can't stand her. Second because she is whiny and would have spoiled everyone's vacation. When my MILs husband backed out, I suggested her sister - in part to avoid the scenario where "well - we have an extra bed now, how about BIL."

Best wishes in your situtation. I'd probably just say "its a big deal to us to have one extra person we know and really like in the room...neither of us is really comfortable sharing a room with someone we don't know." And to your friend I'd just say "sharing a hotel room with a baby is not a good situation for us this trip, maybe another time."

JFrey4240
10-03-2005, 07:53 AM
I think whatever you do it will not work out happily ever after for any of you. What a mess! Most likely your gf will not come if she can't bring her bf and if she does then you will be resentful and miserable.
As for the coworker and her baby, I can understand why she wants to bring her baby but it is rather strange that she would think having a 9 month old with you two is okay. It would be very hard for me to univite someone but I would if it meant a stressed vacation and future resentment--that is a fast track to a ruined friendship. If you can univite over email even better--the chicken way out. Just hold your breath when you hit send and don't anwer your phone! :goodvibes

vascubaguy
10-03-2005, 08:33 AM
If you can univite over email even better--the chicken way out. Just hold your breath when you hit send and don't anwer your phone! :goodvibes

:rotfl2:

I think the California trip is covered now. My brother told me that over the weekend they had an argument with the person they invited to join us at Disneyland and I told him that it could be a good thing, because there wasn't really enough room for 5 people in the room anyway. Oh, and I told him he had to stay an extra night to take us to the airport at 5am. :rolleyes1

I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to chat with my friend today about bringing her bf, but I'm going to go with opt B.

Oh, I forgot to mention, I was talking to my mom last night and in our conversation it came up that I was going to Florida in March. She said, "oh, we are going back to FL?" I quickly had to throw in that it was a business trip! I love my mom, but with her would come my other brother and nephew.... and I did that trip this year so I need a few years in-between.

Thanks for the advice everyone...

jiggerj
10-03-2005, 09:16 AM
Uuuugghhh! I feel your pain! except I had the opposite. My DMIL (the D not standing for "dear') told me who could NOT come! and the "who" of who "couldn't" come were my 2 dd's! Grrr! :mad: Im sure I have posted this before but...my kids, my points...my decision! Good luck!

Disneyrsh
10-03-2005, 09:23 AM
Some people, you give them an inch and they take the ruler from you and beat you with it.

I think probably about half the fault is yours for just being too nice to people, unfortunately.

If I were in your situation, and I never end up in your situation because I"m a cast iron you know what and have no problem telling people, sorry, no, you can't behave like a two year old, I'd just call everyone, tell them that due to work changes/conference rescheduling, the whole vacation's off, and then re-plan it from scratch with just you and dbf.

The more people you have with you on the vacation, the more exhausting it is, and that was with people we wanted to vacation with in the first place.

emsip
10-03-2005, 02:10 PM
I feel your pain. I went through the whole guests inviting guests situation. Hope everything goes ok. Sending you some pixie dust... :wizard:

CarolMN
10-03-2005, 02:24 PM
I feel your pain. I went through the whole guests inviting guests situation. Hope everything goes ok. Sending you some pixie dust... :wizard:So what did you do? :teeth:

best wishes -

NMW
10-03-2005, 02:58 PM
Reading these types of threads make me want to never, ever invite any family to come with us. Lucky for us, no one in our family seems to WANT to go to Disney, so I think we're safe. ;)

disneykidatheart
10-03-2005, 07:18 PM
Did you give a trip report on your guest dilemma? We are interested.

chrome64
10-04-2005, 03:38 AM
OK, this wasn't at Disney but, it is the same story. It is amazing what some people will do!

Last year my DSIL attended a conference that was located near a beach in Florida. She did not want to go alone so she called the only person that she knew that would be able to go at a moments notice... my step SIL (who by the way was only able to go at a moments notice because she is a good-for-nothing lazy stay at home wife, dropped out of High School, no college, no kids, and has never worked a day in her life. And she is really not a nice person!). A few days before they were suppose to leave, Step SIL called DSIL and announced that Step SIL #2 would be going too! And Oh by the Way, she would be bringing her daughter with her too!

They insisted that DSIL would have to drive since the gas was so expensive! (the room was covered until they suddenly had 4 people and DSIL had to pay the difference to upgrade to a bigger room!) Once they arrived they Step SILs decided that they would be staying in the bed room and that DSIL would sleep on the couch. The Step SILs were terrible to DSIL the entire time and the only reason they were there was because she invited them!!!

I told her that next time she was that desperate, she should call me, I will just take off work!

As for us inviting anyone anywhere with us...

We have a disclaimer attached that states, "If you don't want to do what we are doing or can't keep up then don't come with us!"

We have had several bad expierences because somehow we always end up inviting someone to go with us!

Tarheel Tink
10-04-2005, 08:21 AM
Well, I invited a married couple and their 7 year old daughter to join us this December (they have never been). All was fine but then they asked about a month later after I had booked HDDR,LTT and MVMCP if their oldest son could join us. Son is nice enough BUT has been in trouble numerous times and has been arrested several times. I reluctantly agreed and then rescheduled everything.
Well, now son has moved in with his girlfriend and they just assumed she could join the vacation. :confused3 Well, NO! I've never met her and even if I knew her well I certainly would not invite her. I tried to diplomatically state this and hopefully we have it all cleared up. Not to mention having to rebook things again...
I feel your pain!

Disneyrsh
10-04-2005, 08:47 AM
Wow, until I read this thread I had no idea how many people would invite themselves along on other people's vacations!

To quote Jar Jar Binks: How Wude!

OneMoreTry
10-04-2005, 09:04 AM
IMnotsohumbleO, for the next week or two you need to spend some time exercising. First thing each morning and then when you get home in the evening spend five minutes in front of the mirror. Take a deep breath and, from the diaphragm and chest, inunciate clearly:

"NO!"

Then repeat.

goofy4tink
10-04-2005, 09:38 AM
Wow!!! I, for one, would just tell everyone that things had changed, we're so very sorry, but no one will be able to be with us. We are just devastated. So sorry if this causes any problems but our hands are tied..yada, yada. You get the picture. I just can't imagine the hutzpah of some people...why in heaven's name would someone think it was okay to invite someone else on a trip you were invited on!!! I would un-invite the whole bunch and go and have a wonderful time myself (and dbf).

Jynohn
10-04-2005, 09:54 AM
It's threads like this that make me glad I made the decision NOT to tell families and friends that I bought into DVC! Not even my kids know, I'm afraid they'll spill the beans ;)

My sister has already tried to invite herself, my BIL and my two nephews, whom I love dearly but are very, shall we say, rambunctious, on our upcoming trip. Keep in mind, this trip is to celebrate my husband coming home from Iraq. He's been gone a year and a half, and we want to spend time re-connecting as a FAMILY. These plans do not include my sister and her kids this time around, and she was a little less than understanding when I told her we just wanted to go on our own this year.

I can't imagine how upset she'd be if she found out we're staying in a two bedroom at VWL. Just imagine all the family fun we could have had! :earseek:

I'm sorry you're running into these problems on your upcoming trip. I hope it all works out for you. I know it doesn't help you this time around, but my advice in the future though is to keep the DVC a big secret :teeth:

Mary2816
10-04-2005, 11:46 AM
Sorry, but I couldn't bear to read everyone's reply. I needed to stick my two cents in!! This is the height to rudeness!!! This happened to me once. Years ago (before joining DVC) I invited my DS and her DD to come to WDW with us. Weeks later she asks if it would be okay to invite her friend and her daughter. THE NERVE! DS knew that her friend's DD didn't like my DD. I said, no. She told me that she already asked her friend and she said yes. Needless to say, my DS went with her friend to WDW because I wouldn't budge. Since joining DVC my DS is about to make her 2nd trip with us...she doesn't ask to bring friends with her anymore! Your money, your points, your kindness. Don't get suckered into anything. Good luck!!

cobbler
10-11-2005, 10:51 AM
Yep me and hubby have decided not to let family know that we have bought into DVC either. We went on the tour and my dad knew that we went on it (he was vacationing with us when we went) and he asked if we bought it if he could use our points. I said sure, IF I am not using them and for a price :teeth:

But thankfully we aren't telling anyone.

spiceycat
10-11-2005, 11:10 AM
I only get along with family when I am not there.

So I let my brother use my points once after 5 years or so.

I take my niece more often.

I have brought friends before.

but I don't know about future trips.

the last one - the girl (who I didn't know that well) only complainted the entire time. didn't once say how lovely everything was.....

I have brought friends that I knew well - and to say it politely they get jealous.

I am bringing friends again in Nov - but staying offsite this time. So I am hoping for less complaints.

next year I have two trips planned and they are both Solo!!!!

jaysue
10-11-2005, 11:19 AM
We must be lucky - we actually ask people to go with us and as often as not they say no

Maybe we are not liked???

Not sure which is worse - attracting flies or repelling???

Cheers
jaysue

:rotfl:
:rotfl2:
:confused3

cruise-o-matic
10-11-2005, 11:58 AM
Vascubaguy...you're going to be rich from everyone pitching in their $.02.....and here goes mine:

Invitee #1 needs to be uninvited. PERIOD! Think about it....there are so many red flags here: 1) she doesn't consult you first before mentioning to BF about coming along 2) she obviously has not picked a winner for a bf in the first place...unemployed druggie (or former druggie...which is an oxymoron)......Not only that, but she'd rather take him to WDW instead of her kids??? I don't know how well you know or like this person, but she has not exercised common sense so far. If you take here along, she is just going to be bitter or complain. I don't even think I'd offer to find them a place for themselves because it seems obvious that you don't want to hang around him anyway.

Just tell her that 3 adults in a studio is a squeeze, but 4 would just be too many....especially someone you don't know and have never met. If she asks about Invitee #2, tell her that is for a different week and it's a good friend of DBF's that you know well. If you need to go further, explain that he get's to invite ONE friend for one week and you get to invite ONE for the other.

As for invitee #2....that's a totally different situation b/c her maternal instinct is kicking in and doesn't want to leave her baby behind (unlike #1)....and quite possibly, her husband is not looking towards full-time-baby-duty-with-no-repreive. I wouldn't ask DBF to talk her out of bringing baby. Being a parent of a infant can be stressful and mentioning separation would create more stress. Welcome the baby and just make her aware of your early hours and need for sleep. Maybe, you could look into staying at a mod or value with adjoining rooms in that case or see if you can get a 1BR at OKW for cash...or just add on ;) if you need the points.

Don't mean to sound harsh, but #1 seems to be bad news and would definitely would add stress to YOUR vacation.

gppnj
10-11-2005, 04:53 PM
I haven't even told certain people in my life that I became a DVC member, and your tale reminds me why I did that.

Asuneda
10-11-2005, 05:43 PM
This thread just reaffirms my decision not to tell anyone else about owning DVC...jeesh the nerve of some people. I'd be embarrassed to invite someone else along on an invitation I'd been given.

Cruelladeville
10-11-2005, 09:56 PM
This is bad news :earseek: and we haven't even talked about annoying habits some people have that would make you want to shoot them dead! We invited a wonderful young woman along with us last summer. We have known her and her family all her life, wonderful people, very Disney, a perfect fit...except that she lived with her cell phone to her ear, even took it into the bathroom with her!! She called her family back home with minute by minute up-dates of her vacation: "Mom, guess where I'm walking now? TO THE BUS STOP!! And now I'm sitting on a bench at the bus stop." etc. It ceased to be cute after the first hour or so, and was downright annoying by nightfall. She talked with people back in Michigan, but she never talked to us, and we were in the same room...

No, I really think that you have to figure that anyone you invite along, no matter how terrific they are, will be a jerk while on your vacation. If you have the urge to share the Magic, tell your loved ones to whack you hard on your head until the urge passes... :goodvibes

vascubaguy
10-11-2005, 10:35 PM
This is bad news :earseek: and we haven't even talked about annoying habits some people have that would make you want to shoot them dead! We invited a wonderful young woman along with us last summer. We have known her and her family all her life, wonderful people, very Disney, a perfect fit...except that she lived with her cell phone to her ear, even took it into the bathroom with her!! She called her family back home with minute by minute up-dates of her vacation: "Mom, guess where I'm walking now? TO THE BUS STOP!! And now I'm sitting on a bench at the bus stop." etc. It ceased to be cute after the first hour or so, and was downright annoying by nightfall. She talked with people back in Michigan, but she never talked to us, and we were in the same room...

No, I really think that you have to figure that anyone you invite along, no matter how terrific they are, will be a jerk while on your vacation. If you have the urge to share the Magic, tell your loved ones to whack you hard on your head until the urge passes... :goodvibes

:rotfl2:

Quick update: I told my friend that her boyfriend couldn't come along. I did, however, suggest that maybe she and her new bf could always make plans to go down and get their own accommodations and that it would be a great time for her to take her kids too. However, I made sure to add that I was out of points for the year so I couldn't book her a DVC stay (which is true, I've rented all my current year points and I'm not going to borrow from next year). I have a feeling though that if she ends up still wanting to go w/o her bf that she'll end up like cruella's guest and stay on the phone the whole time. At which point we'll just end up leaving her and going on our own. We have no problem doing our own thing and will still enjoy ourselves. :teeth:

As for my dbf's friend, we haven't heard anything else from her about going so I'm not even sure she is still planning to go. We figure we won't mention it anymore and see if she brings it back up.

Dean
10-12-2005, 05:48 AM
Timeshares tend to bring out the worst in family/friends. Many have the idea that it's free once you've bought in and act accordingly. There have been many similar sob stories over the years but the one that I always remember is the person who planned a WDW trip and invited A who invited B, etc. Eventually B uninvited the original planner.

crisi
10-12-2005, 07:54 AM
Timeshares tend to bring out the worst in family/friends. Many have the idea that it's free once you've bought in and act accordingly. There have been many similar sob stories over the years but the one that I always remember is the person who planned a WDW trip and invited A who invited B, etc. Eventually B uninvited the original planner.

And as unbelievable as it is, and as much as I something think "all you need is a backbone" I think many of us know it isn't always that easy. Things change, things get misinterpreted, some people are more important to us than our DVC points or one vacation and we are willing to put up with the boorish behavior of our mother in law for the sake of our husband.

I do need to thank by proxy those of you who let others use your points. This summer we were lucky enough that friends of ours were told by friends of theirs "go use our beach house - it sits empty - bring some friends - there is plenty of room!" So we were lucky enough to use someone's beautiful home in Mexico - it was fantastic.

JandD Mom
10-12-2005, 02:35 PM
I think you handled it well. However, I must respectfully disagree with cruise-o-matic. As the parent of young children (who were younger not too long ago :goodvibes ) I don't think it is fair for you to have to have a baby with you on vacation. It will change the entire Kharma of your vacation and a child of that age is not so easy. I followed your saga of buying DVC, and know you worked hard for it. I don't think you should take a person who would be presumptive as to take a baby on vacation with 2 child-less guys who want to have some grown-up fun.

I am curious as to why so many people have trouble telling others they own DVC? Why would anyone expect that you have enough points to bring them along? When someone has spoken to me about going, I let them know that I don't have enough points "but I can put them in touch with someone who has enough to rent them to you." That seems to be the end of the story.

Most of my family and friends know I only have enough points to use for our family of 4 for the times we go away. They also know that when we are not using it, we will probably rent it or bank it for a future year.

I am just floored that so many people have a problem with others thinking they are entitled to a free trip. Are there really that many freeloaders in the world?

spiceycat
10-12-2005, 03:24 PM
sorry to say but YES!!!!

most of the people who want to freeload on me have more money than I ever will.

vascubaguy
10-12-2005, 03:41 PM
Another update:

I asked my friend this morning if she was still planning to go with us in March and she said, "I can't go and not bring 'him' along." I replied, "oh ok, I understand, I'll call and have them take your name of the reservation."

I followed up by telling her that if they decide to go on their own, she needs to take her kids too and she agreed. She said they are already talking about getting something together for the summer.

Oh... good news from her dropping out... she has a free airline ticket that she said she'd give to me since she can't use it before it expires in May. Looks like all I might have to cover is AP's!

JodyTG
10-12-2005, 04:55 PM
This IS good news...and free airfare in the bargain. One friend down and one more to go. You do, after all, have to work part of this trip and need rest, relaxation, and lots of fast passes!!!

Have a great time and remember...no good deed goes unpunished. Think twice before even thinking about inviting someone again. And then, if you make the wrong decision and are about to pick up the phone to call someone, kick it instead. :rotfl:

Horizons1
04-24-2007, 03:07 PM
I invited a friend to go with me and my family, and the first thing out of her mouth was how her friend that I have never met lived 3 hours away and should come down and go to the parks with us. And now shes trying to get her brother and his friends to go too !

Call me crazy, but when someone's family invites you to go on their vacation with them, I think its insanely rude to try to get other people to tag along, especially when I've never met them!

I'm going to uninvite her....:mad:

poggs
04-24-2007, 04:58 PM
I invited a friend to go with me and my family, and the first thing out of her mouth was how her friend that I have never met lived 3 hours away and should come down and go to the parks with us. And now shes trying to get her brother and his friends to go too !

Call me crazy, but when someone's family invites you to go on their vacation with them, I think its insanely rude to try to get other people to tag along, especially when I've never met them!

I'm going to uninvite her....:mad:

top quality phoenix like bump. How did you find this thread :confused:

Muushka
04-24-2007, 08:38 PM
Yeah, how did you find this thread? I try to find things from 3 days ago and the search does squat, this thread is 1 1/2 years old!

Horizons1
04-24-2007, 09:56 PM
lol, i don't know. I didn't realize it was so old until after i posted. oh well. i needed a place to vent...;)

elijahpep
04-24-2007, 11:45 PM
top quality phoenix like bump. How did you find this thread :confused:


:lmao: :rotfl: :lmao:

Cee
04-25-2007, 06:37 AM
.....to "uninvite" EVERYONE. :thumbsup2

labst60
04-25-2007, 07:19 AM
Regarding the BF's friend... I can not imagine accepting an invitation to accompany a male coworker and his GF on vacation and leaving my 9 month old baby and Dh behind!! Or even then suggesting that I go -- and stay with -- the coworker and leave my DH behind. That's crazy!

ADP
04-25-2007, 08:39 AM
Just wanted to add congratulations for getting to go to WDW for 2 solid weeks. That would be awesome!

As for advice, I think everyone has covered what I would have said.

MEM
04-25-2007, 09:44 AM
[QUOTE=Jynohn;10139283]It's threads like this that make me glad I made the decision NOT to tell families and friends that I bought into DVC! ]

I was thinking the same thing! The family I was born into (to differentiate them from the family I made with DH) would have no problems inviting themselves on one of our trips, or even better, asking to use our DVC some time we "don't need it". I don't ever lie to my mother but I find myself "leaving out" certain details. She knows we are going down next month and I told her I am staying in a friend's timeshare - I won't be telling her that my dear friend is actually DH.

The sad thing is that we purchased over 500 points so that we could invite friends and family along but when we look at the dynamics of the personalities, it looks like we will be skipping a generation and inviting my nephew and nieces but not their parents, if we ever decide to tell people about DVC!

nbodyhome
04-25-2007, 09:49 AM
I invited my sister to stay a few days with us in a 2 bedroom at OKW a couple of years ago. So she shows up with a cousin of ours and his wife without any advance notice and says "I read you can have 8 in here so I figured I'd bring them along." :earseek: ***? I said that there would not be 8 and if they wanted to stay in WDW to call and book a room. They were stunned but called and got a studio at OKW and paid cash for it themselfs. No one takes advantage of me and my sister has not ever been invited again.


Wow, I think that is great! I can't imaginge bringing someone without even asking. But like with the druggie bf - I would just say no, that I didn't feel comfortable with that.

I hope it didn't hurt your relationship though with your sister.

Lora
04-25-2007, 10:37 AM
We must be lucky - we actually ask people to go with us and as often as not they say no

Maybe we are not liked???

Not sure which is worse - attracting flies or repelling???



This seems to be our problem as well. I can't get my sister to come and can't get dh's parents to come. I had a 2BR last fall for 4 of us and couldn't give the studio portion away to anyone I knew. So, we spread ourselves out and got used to the space. Big uh oh. Now we have 2 BR's for 2 weeks booked for our upcoming trip and we're only planning to share it the first week. What happened to the days we were happy with a studio?? This is getting point-expensive.

I hope your situation works out. Definitely don't let people just walk in and walk over you on the way to the pullout sofa!:scared1:

DVC Grammy
04-25-2007, 10:43 AM
Although friends and family know we own DVC, we have purposely been very vague about how it works re: point ownership. If we get pressured to explain, we suggest they find the information on the internet, since it would be too complicated to describe. :rolleyes1
Luckily, none of them are willing to put in the effort. :thumbsup2

Sooze
04-25-2007, 10:53 AM
Well, since this thread IS so old... I wonder whatever happened to the OP?!?! Are you still there?!.....:confused3

SaratogaShan
04-25-2007, 01:21 PM
Yes,

vascubaguy is still around!

Dean
04-25-2007, 05:27 PM
Wow, I think that is great! I can't imaginge bringing someone without even asking. But like with the druggie bf - I would just say no, that I didn't feel comfortable with that.

I hope it didn't hurt your relationship though with your sister.Having seen these stories come and go on DIS, it's hard to surprise me anymore. One I recall started with Sister A planning a DVC trip and getting their mother involved for the trip who invited sister B without knowledge or permission of sister A, Sister Bo took over and they pushed out sister A from even making the trip.

Califgirl
04-25-2007, 06:14 PM
top quality phoenix like bump. How did you find this thread :confused:

:rotfl2: :rotfl2:
:lmao: wow! So vascubaguy - what ended up happening on this trip. I know it was a year and a half ago, but I'd love it if you searched your memory banks and gave us a mini report. I missed this thread at the time, but I admit that I just read it all the way through, and I was just riveted.

What happened???

Viki
04-25-2007, 06:48 PM
I am so sorry to read stories like this and I hope it never happens to us because at least 50% of the trips we take involve inviting family and friends to join us. In fact, I just spent a happy hour planning our next trip with friends we hosted Dec 05, who are now coming down on their own and bringing two of their friends for the same week we are hosting my parents and DN.

For us, it's just been the more the merrier and we do have family and friends waiting in the wings for their next invite, but no one is pushy and we are very clear about the line up!

Snookies
04-26-2007, 01:49 AM
Having seen these stories come and go on DIS, it's hard to surprise me anymore. One I recall started with Sister A planning a DVC trip and getting their mother involved for the trip who invited sister B without knowledge or permission of sister A, Sister Bo took over and they pushed out sister A from even making the trip.

This post reminds me of some excellent advice Dean posted on a similar thread some time ago. When inviting friends or family on a trip, make sure everyone understands your ground rules before beginning. Namely, "I'll pay for mine, you pay for yours; and I don't wait for you, you don't wait for me." IMO, this is truly wise.

Dean
04-26-2007, 07:44 PM
This post reminds me of some excellent advice Dean posted on a similar thread some time ago. When inviting friends or family on a trip, make sure everyone understands your ground rules before beginning. Namely, "I'll pay for mine, you pay for yours; and I don't wait for you, you don't wait for me." IMO, this is truly wise.Hey, what about the other rule. There may be an occasional alcoholic beverage, if this isn't OK, DON'T GO. Though the truth be known is I only drink when other people are paying for it except for about once a year where I buy a 6 pk on vacation. But if I've promised to anyone you a beer sometime, I'll honor that commitment.

dvc at last !
04-26-2007, 08:10 PM
subscribuing ---- so I can read later when I have more time...

we have all been in this situation -

we get older - we get wiser ! :cool1:

Snookies
04-27-2007, 12:35 AM
Hey, what about the other rule. There may be an occasional alcoholic beverage, if this isn't OK, DON'T GO. Though the truth be known is I only drink when other people are paying for it except for about once a year where I buy a 6 pk on vacation. But if I've promised to anyone you a beer sometime, I'll honor that commitment.

Deanm my apologies for forgetting about this other rule. Truthfully, I faithfully followed this rule in my younger days. Of course, this may explain why I now forget things like this other rule.

dianeschlicht
04-27-2007, 07:08 AM
Boy, this one came up from the basement! We have had very few issues with guests, and we seem to have them most trips. If someone did things like invite others along etc, they probably would NOT be invited back, and would likely get "uninvited" this time! As the old saying goes...."don't look a gift horse in the mouth".