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problemchild718
09-21-2005, 08:22 AM
Hi all, I have a question for you...what kind of bachelor party is your fiance going to have? My FDH friends want to take him to a strip club (all nude) which I don't like but can put up with for one night-however, it's their tradition to buy the groom lap dances. I know my man won't be fooling around with these women, but the thought of it infuriates me and I'm not sure how to handle it. HELP :confused3

dreams91
09-21-2005, 09:26 AM
I can't help you there. Sorry. It would make me furious too. Hugs to you.

pixie08
09-21-2005, 09:36 AM
That would also infuriate me! My DH2B and I sat down and had a talk...just as I don't want him at a strip club he doesn't want me to go to a chippenadale's type place either..lol. So maybe you can show it to him from your prespective. We decided since we will be in disney 2 nights before we would go with our bridal parties to pleasure island and if we want seperate and then meet back up. The next day I am doing a spa thing/gf tea and he and his guys are going fishing and to espn zone or something. Good Luck :grouphug:

Eeyore1928
09-21-2005, 09:39 AM
Since we were in Orlando a week before the wedding and everyone joined us early as well. My Dh went to ESPN for wings, beer and football. While we went to the aftrenoon tea at the Grand and then the spa!

They worked out great and would do it again in a heartbeat. Also the guys had a ball another day at Disneyquest...

Good Luck

Coloradogrl
09-21-2005, 09:45 AM
I would sit down and talk to him....I would not be confortable with this at all they could go to a bar or ESPN zone or something and have some "clean" fun! I think it was Dr. Phil I heard this on but they were discussing this topic on and he told them that "A man that is marrying the love of his life doesnt need to go see naked women dancing around!" There is no reason to start you new marriage with that hanging over your heads! It is a stupid rite of passage that alot of man think they need to go through. Ask him if he is ok with you in the same situtation, or you going to a slummy pick up club!
For me a marriage is between a man, a women, and God.......and strippers dont fit in there!

SORRY I WILL GET OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW :blush:

hmgolden
09-21-2005, 09:55 AM
My DH wasn't into the whole strip club thing for his bachelor party. Instead he and a couple of his guy friends went to ESPN Zone two night before the wedding and watched the yankee game while the girls and I went dancing at Pleasure Island. We both had a blast, and had good clean fun (with perhaps a few too many drinks between us). I personally don't have a problem with DH going to a strip club, but I am not a fan of him getting lap dances. DH knows where the line is and doesn't cross it. I suggest you talk to your DH2B and lay out your concerns/expectations, and also find out from him what he wants for his bachelor party. I'm sure the two of you can find a compromise that will make you both happy.

Tinkerbelle14
09-21-2005, 10:06 AM
I know my fiance's brother/best man would like to take him to a strip club, but that won't happen. Not only would I be extremely hurt, but my fiance doesn't see the need to go. Instead, we are going to have a Stag and Doe (or a Jack and Jill, I'm not sure what you call it in the States). It is a good way for everyone to have fun together and for the bride and groom to make a fair chunk of change! Plus I will have my bridal shower, but no seperate, get drunk, see strippers kind of party.
I agree with some of the other posts. If you are truly happy with the person you are marrying, you don't need to go through the "rite of passage" of going to a strip club. When I look at getting married, I don't think "You know what I really need to do before the wedding, see some naked man, who is not my fiance, dance around".
If it really bothers you, but you think his friends will pressure him into going, sit down and talk to him. Let him know that you trust him and don't believe he would cheat on you with a dirty stripper, but that it is about respecting you and your feelings. Also, ask how he would feel if the situation was reversed. Personally, my fiance knows how I feel, as I made it perfectly clear when his brother half joked about strippers. He respects my feelings enough to risk being made fun of and tell his friends there will be no strippers.
Sorry, I'm a little long winded on the subject due to the fact that I highly disagree with celebrating your last day of "freedom" by watching naked people. The best thing is just be honest with him, you can't help how you feel! :)

Eric-n-Ariel
09-21-2005, 10:31 AM
Personally, it doesn't bother me, but if you have an issue with it (which you're totally allowed to) then you have to tell your fiance. You have to be honest. Even if you agree to "put up with it for one night," you should still tell him it bothers you.

FutureAshleyDukes
09-21-2005, 10:50 AM
I'm sorry to hear that your FDH's friends are pressuring him into that. I'm wondering if they're single? They just might not know better. I haven't really had this come up yet, since most of my FDH's friends are married and I know their wives or girlfriends would put their foot down. About two weeks before were were going to get married in May FDH's FEMALE cousins started calling him wanting to take him to a stripclub... I have never understood these girls, I'm thinking they're just trying to be 'one of the guys,' but FDH really didn't even want to go, so he didn't. I hope this goes well for you.

evedein
09-21-2005, 11:36 AM
Problemchild718
You have a PM.

DisneyMommyMichelle
09-21-2005, 11:44 AM
My DH didn't see a need to have one and said no to his friends, father (a real perv) and brother. They gave him a hard time up until the rehearsal dinner where he stated that his wedding and marriage were going to be the only adventure he needed in life. Talk to him about how you feel, i know i was ready to talk to him if he wanted to do something like that, but it all turned out well.

problemchild718
09-22-2005, 09:48 PM
Thanks everyone for your comments! I guess I just needed to know if I was being unreasonable or if my feelings were in the norm-I feel better and we will have a sit down and try to resolve this before it becomes a problem.

jenm2878
09-23-2005, 05:15 AM
My fiance's friends will take him to a strip club, but it's more for them then him. He is the only one of his work friends to be with someone, so they see it as an excuse to go meet women. I'm not bothered by it. My fiance says he just wants to watch his friends make fools of themselves.

D&R love Disney
09-23-2005, 07:57 AM
Strip clubs don't bother me for bachelor parties, often I think it's more for the other guys than the groom to be. The night before our wedding we had a Wishes fireworks cruise for all our guests. The morning of the wedding while I relaxed and then got ready with my Mom and MOH the guys went off to lunch and founds a go-kart place where they had a blast. They totally enjoyed themselves and barely had enough time to get ready LOL. It was a great day!

supergrrl20
09-24-2005, 08:32 PM
A strip club is the safest place for your man to go. Trust me those girls are not intrested in our guys for anything but money. I knew a stripper once and she referred to her customers as "losers with rent money" lol. Trust me a strip club is safer then a regular bar..all male cliental.lol

ahutton
09-25-2005, 11:21 AM
If you are bothered in any way by the thought of him going, getting dances, or whatever, please tell him so and ask he respect your wishes. I have a problem with these clubs but did not communicate it well to DH. He wishes I had, as I thought I was fine but with all the emotions leading up to our event I was not. We had a very tough few days as I was upset and not communicating well, and I regret that I didn't speak up. It would have made the week before much better.