Ditching the passie? [Archive] - The DIS Discussion Forums

marshallandcartersmo

09-19-2005, 06:40 PM

I feel your pain!! My son was 3 when we finally got rid of his. He also just had his for naps and bedtime. We started with getting rid of the naptime passy---how?? We told him no more passys for naps and it wasn't allowed in the house anymore during the day, so his daddy "take it to work" with him. For a few days daddy would "bring it home" at night so he could have it for bedtime, but one night, daddy "accidently forgot it at work". Since daddy "couldn't go back to get it until the next day", he had to sleep without it. Then the next night, same thing--forgot it at work. Then the next night, the cleaning crew accidently threw it out..........gone forever. Yes, there were some tears, but oddly not until it was "thrown away" and even then they didn't last more then 2 nights. The trick is to stand your ground, and we really found that telling him they weren't in the house anymore (at daddys work) helped too. Good luck!!

Stimpy

09-19-2005, 06:55 PM

zachyandlindsmom

09-19-2005, 06:57 PM

We got rid of my son's pacifier the day before we left for our florida vacation (not a disney one). He was 4 y 1 mos. at the time, very old!!! We did the bed/car only use for a week of so before, and went cold turkey on a Wednesday. He threw it away in Wal Mart in exchange for a Game Boy. Our trip went very well, we were very busy, and he was so exhausted at bedtime that there never really was too much of a fuss when it was gone. I was very surprised at how smooth it went. I would leave it with Buzz, or do as I did and get rid of it just before you leave and maybe the excitement/exhaustion of Disney will help. Good Luck, that's a tough one!

Tracy

Schmeck

09-19-2005, 07:05 PM

Tracy, what a jump - pacifier to a gameboy! :rotfl:

tiggrbaby

09-19-2005, 07:45 PM

Before I would let my son move from the crib to a bed, I took him to a big toy store and let him pick out stuffed toys to sleep with. He had to trade his "binkies" to get them, though. Then he had something new for his big boy bed. He did not have any problems sleeping, which surprised me.

The cashier wanted to know if I wanted to keep the binkies as a memento. I said no thanks!

Mom to Jordan

09-19-2005, 07:52 PM

crisi

09-19-2005, 09:17 PM

If you decide to give the passy to Buzz, I would be sure to do it the last day of the trip just in case it does not go so well. My DS was a blanket kid , not a passy kid but it had to go everywhere. When we were away from home that was when he needed it most and even after he had given it up at home it went on trips. It's last trip was WDW when he was about 8. I love the idea of exchanging it for some really big boy toy! You could also do that the last day of the trip. Only problem might be a LONG ride or flight home of he does not take well to being without it!! Good luck. I am not really big on rushing kids away from comfort items but he might be getting to the point where teeth are soon going to be effected.
Jordans' mom

My husband's blankie (or the shreds that remain) is under his pillow at this moment in time - he is almost 40, well adjusted and successful. It doesn't go everywhere - we don't take it on vacation with us. But I wouldn't throw it away for the world. Sometimes not rushing taking away comfort items just means they go off to college - I knew several girls in college who took worn out well loved teddy bears. (Though none that still used a pacifier).

Its pink. I'm not sure if I find the blankie or the fact its pink funnier.

mcbj

09-19-2005, 09:26 PM

My DS gave his to the Easter Bunny at 3 and has never looked back. Worked great!! Have a fun trip!!

Wendy*Darling

09-19-2005, 10:24 PM

My oldest was 3 when he got rid of his on a WDW vacation. We had already had the "if it comes out of your room, it gets thrown away" rule for a while and had been noticing he didn't "need" it as much. When we went to WDW we of course packed it. He was so wiped out the first night he fell asleep w/o it. We decided to just see if that trend continued. Lo and behold, it did! Naps and bedtime. He was just so tired he fell right off to sleep as soon as it was dark and quiet. After 5 nights we pointed out that he hadn't needed them and we had a celebration because of it. He never looked back!

Servants of Evan

09-19-2005, 10:42 PM

At age two and a half the Binkie Fairy traded it for a really cool Tonka Tow truck. Yep, there are a limited number of Binkies in the world (just like fruitcakes), and the Binkie Fairy was responsible for ensuring the chain continued. Worked just fine...

Servants of Evan

Kitcat

09-19-2005, 10:44 PM

My son was never allowed to take his "ninny" out of the house as he got older he could only have it at bedtime. I told my son he had to give up his "ninny" for his 4th birthday. I gave him about 3 months notice. I kept reminding him he was going to give it up. On his 4th birthday he gave it up and was just sad one or two nights. He is going to be 5 soon and every once in awhile he tells me he misses his ninny. I feel so bad. I tell him I know you do. I wouldn't let him give it up on your trip he may need it being in a strange place. Wait til you get home. Have a great time.

ryan840

09-19-2005, 10:59 PM

We just got our son off of his "bubba" about a month ago, right after he turned two. We simply cut the very tip off of it so that he would no longer be able to get the sucking satisfaction, and when he tried it out he thought it was broken. We told him it was ok if it was broken, he can still have it, and he never shed a tear. He was using it only to sleep, (and very rarely to calm himself down) so he did have issues getting back to sleep at night (he never had a problem going to bed in the first place) for a few nights, then all was well. He does still have his bubba, but it never goes in his mouth so we're fine with it at this age. We did have back up bubbas just in case he didn't react well, we weren't going to push it yet.

LizAgna

09-19-2005, 11:04 PM

The "Sappy" Fairy came when my oldest DD turned 3. We got the idea from one of her little friends at daycare. That little girl turned 3 about 3 months before DD did so we had time to prepare her for her Sappies to disappear. We didn't actually do it on her birthday we did it the day after her birthday party. She cried for 2 nights but after that she never asked for it again.

Now youngest DD is 2 and we said that we wouldn't let her take it this long but we just can't seem to take it away from her quite yet. I guess in a few months we will prepare her for the arrival of the "Bappy" Fairy (Isn't it funny how she woudln't call it the same thing her sister did?)

Personally I wouldn't "leave" it at Disney World or "give" it to Buzz. It would be my luck DD would always remember that that's where she "lost" her Bappy and wouldn't want to go back.

statefan

09-19-2005, 11:46 PM

All of these suggestions are SUPER GREAT, thanks so much. After starting to pack tonight, I realized in my small minded attempt to keep my son happy, I have only been adding to the madness, by of course, buying more passies over the past few months! I keep finding them everywhere, and we are not even in our house! I can just see it now, leaving the passie, only to come back, and him remembering each hiding place, pulling a different one out every day! Now that is the stuff of nightmares!
So, if the Buzz trick doesn't work, I really like the fairy idea. But I do not know what to expect, my ds is hard headed just like my dh! I have even offered every Buzz Lightyear toy we could if he would ditch the pullups!
He wouldn't go for that either! Potty training, the next mission!

Nank

09-20-2005, 07:09 AM

I snipped it. He saw it was broken. It was hard for him to go to bed for 2 nights. He kind of just wandered around a little until he was sooooo tired. After that we were good. Good luck.

VSL

09-20-2005, 08:47 AM

As far as I can remember, my mother just took my dummy (that's what we Brits call them!) out of my mouth one night when I was sleeping and told me that some fairy had taken it away.

I can't remember being upset at all - it wasn't as if I could do anything about it anyway!

crisi

09-20-2005, 09:10 AM

Watch the potty training - it will happen when he is ready.

My daughter was stubborn as well and we had a grand old power struggle about it. I realized the bribes had gone too high when her brother (then four, she was three) said "If you get out of pull ups, Mom will buy you a yellow bug car" (i.e. a VW Beetle).

PatricenPete

09-20-2005, 09:23 AM

Our DS is only 10 1/2 months, but I want to get rid of it early!!! I don't want to wait until he is 2, 3, 4 years old. So far we are off to a great start. He has gone 2 nights without it (he was really only using it to sleep) and yesterday he took his nap without it. We will be bringing a few with us to Disney next month, just as a comfort, just in case, as I am sure he is going to get all off track.

bedgraynexl

09-20-2005, 10:21 AM

Our DD3 gave it up on our trip to Disney World in April. I think we had it with us just in case, but we told her it accidentally got left at home and that she was such a big girl that she would be fine without it. The fact that she and our DS5 went hard and fast they were exhausted, but she never asked for it after that first night, or even on the plane. She has never asked for her Binky since. I have heard that trips are the best way to get rid of it, simply because there is so much to do they forget about the thing.

cruiserkaren

09-20-2005, 12:37 PM

It sounds strange but this worked for us....
We had the Nunny(our word for the pacifier) Fairy come and take it away one night. We told DS when he was about 3 1/2 that the Nunny Fairy comes and leaves a present for kids when they give up their pacifier and gives the nunny to babies that need it now. We didn't do it right away but kept telling him about it and asked him what he would like if he left his pacifier for the Fairy. After a few weeks (ok, not an immediate fix LOL) he found a $5 space set he really wanted. He though about it for 2-3 days and then came to us and said he was ready. We said goodbye and thank you to the nunny, and he left it on his night table. The next morning he had his space set and he was thrilled. He asked about his pacifier a few times but he wasn't really upset that he couldn't get it back. We just explained to him that another baby boy needed it more than he did now that he was a big boy. :wizard:

Fortunately, my DD-17months, never wanted the pacifier at all, but she also doesn't have any kind of "lovey" which makes me a little sad. But that's a whole other topic!

Good Luck to you!!

This is the first I've heard of anyone else calling it a nunny besides my imediate family! I get some crazy looks for calling it that around here! Interesting thread since I have a newly turned 2 year old that goes nowhere without her nunny. I now know that's DH and I's fault as we didn't put limits on it in the first place. (Our first and only kid, I plead ignorance! LOL) I hate those things. It is such a hassle always having to have one, knowing where one is, keeping up with it, ugghh, driving me crazy. We had talked about getting rid of very very soon but now DD has started waking up at night, EVERYNIGHT and wanting me. Her and I haven't slept thru the night in the last 4 weeks. This from a formerly wonderful sleeper. So now I figure I need to get her to sleep again before moving on the nunny thing. Excuses?? Not sure all I know is I'd love to sleep in my bed for an entire night.

Sorry for my rant...needing to get off my chest I guess! :guilty:

auntie k

09-20-2005, 01:09 PM

compared to fairy's, Buzz and the like, this seems mean, but it's what the Pediatrician suggested and it worked. I too was a new mother of one and didn't have any better ideas!

Throw it out the window on the way home and say "gone gone"...they get this concept early - which is easier time to break them.

My son asked for his the first night and I reminded him we threw it out the window and it was gone gone...and he never asked again. Maybe I was just lucky...he was apx 25 months.

trayletha

09-20-2005, 01:10 PM

DD never took a passie - but she would NOT give up her baba; this from a breastfed child, who only got a bottle of water for the fluoride. Once she was weaned and drinking out of a cup, we never gave her anything in it Playtex without the liner – so really just a big pacifier. She was only allowed it at night - we only ever had the one. When she was almost 4 Daddy "forgot" and let her carry it into daycare, she was so embarrassed to be seen by her playmates with it she threw it away herself.

OP - I think you said your family was more focused on this than you are - if you and your DH want it gone and DS is ready ... go for it. But you three are the only ones who count in this decision. Do what's right for the three of you.

statefan

09-20-2005, 10:43 PM

He actually fell asleep on the way home from my MIL's house tonight w/o a passie! Maybe there is hope afterall! We have decided to take a few with us, but toward the first part of the week, only give it to him at nap and bedtime (he usually has them avaible all the time), then hopefuly by the end of the trip, he will be too tired to want it. If not, we will work on it when we get home!
I agree with you on the family! My moher recently passed away on June 1st, and she was the one who constantly harped on getting rid of it. But now my sister (3yrs younger with no children) seems to have taken up the cause even stronger! She will be with us on vacation next week, so it could get interesting!
My DH and I are both ready to get rid of the thing! I just cannot stand the thought of my DS starting school with a big ole Gerber passie in his mouth!

daisyduck123

09-21-2005, 02:25 AM

We did several things when mine were giving up their passies:

1) the Pacifier Fairy came - each nite we would put one of my DD under her pillow & the Pass Fairy would leave a gift.

2) We also told my DD about Toys R Us having a "Pacifier Exchange"...that we could take her last passy to the toy store & turn it in for any toy. (When I briefed the cashier & told her to please play along you should have seen the look on her face...like I must be nuts, but she went along)

3) With my DS...he noticed his pacifiers were getting cracks so one day I just cut the tips off of them. When he tried to use one he threw it down, said "it's broken" & that was it. If I'd known it was going to be that easy & cheap I would've done that with my DD years earlier instead of all that money for the above mentioned Pass Fairy & Toys R Us exchange.

Amyality

09-21-2005, 07:20 AM

When DS was 1-1/2 we went to disney and lost all his nookies! If you find your kid freaking out (and I mean FREAKING out, crying and causing a scene, this was the only time any child of mine has ever thrown a full on fit) in Toontown like mine was, they sell them at the big shop there, they are behind the counter. Just ask a sales accociate. They sell the orthodontic "Nook" brand.

Fast forward to 2-1/2. Again we lost all the nookies, this time at home right before bed. We just toughed it out and he was fine after the following night.

Personally, I would make the switch before vacation. There are enough changes going on. DONT POKE THE BEAR! :earboy2:

mommystieg

09-21-2005, 08:39 AM

I tried lots of these suggestions with DD#1 to no avail. She finally lost the very last passy and we didn't replace it. She did find the missing passy a few months later and we told her that since she was a big girl now she could just throw it away. She threw it away and promptly burst into tears. DD#2's babysitter threw her binkie away one day and she did fine without it--only asking for it occasionally for a couple of days. One suggestion I heard was to take the binkie to Build-A-Bear and put it inside one of the stuffed animals. Don't let other people pressure you into doing something if you don't think your child is ready. Good luck with whatever you decide :flower:

MazdaUK

09-21-2005, 08:56 AM

Make sure your child is ready. Our DS(5) traded his for a cuddly Mike and a Monsters Inc baseball cap in Woolworths when he was about 2 1/2. We had no trouble with him asking for it, but it was harder to get him to take his naps and to go to sleep at night - not because he played up, but because he didn't recognise he was tired! With the dummy, we would hand it to him at bedtime/naptime and as soon as it went in the eyes would droop and off to sleep in a few seconds! (Oh, I miss that little look with droopy eyes and sucky mouth :love: )

I'd wait till the last day of the holiday because with all the excitement you might need it sometimes - especially if something is scary/noisy!

I think its a good idea giving it to a character- perhaps the character could swap it for a small Disney toy (which you sneak them in advance)

princesslily

09-21-2005, 10:24 AM

We traded the passie for a kitten! It worked like a charm! My daughter was 3 1/2. We took her and let her pick it out, name it and everything! She does a great job of taking care of it as well. All I have to say is Madi take care of the kitty and She feeds,waters and brushes him. princess:

robinb

09-21-2005, 10:41 AM

I wouldn't do it at WDW. There are too many things going on and you son will need his pacifier to comfort himself. Do it after you get home. My 6 year old is a thumb sucker. Believe me, it's easier getting rid of a pacifier than a thumb!

newtowdw1

09-21-2005, 11:14 AM

This is the first I've heard of anyone else calling it a nunny besides my imediate family! I get some crazy looks for calling it that around here! Interesting thread since I have a newly turned 2 year old that goes nowhere without her nunny. I now know that's DH and I's fault as we didn't put limits on it in the first place. (Our first and only kid, I plead ignorance! LOL) I hate those things. It is such a hassle always having to have one, knowing where one is, keeping up with it, ugghh, driving me crazy. We had talked about getting rid of very very soon but now DD has started waking up at night, EVERYNIGHT and wanting me. Her and I haven't slept thru the night in the last 4 weeks. This from a formerly wonderful sleeper. So now I figure I need to get her to sleep again before moving on the nunny thing. Excuses?? Not sure all I know is I'd love to sleep in my bed for an entire night.

Sorry for my rant...needing to get off my chest I guess! :guilty:

This is not about pacifiers, but I DO have experience with those, too (see below). When I was about 8 my mom decided that since I could not sleep through the night (although I didn't bother her, I just didn't sleep) maybe I was lonely. She picked out a great big monkey for me at the toy store. I was thrilled for many reasons:
1. My mom loved me enough to realize that I never HAD a comfort item. And she spent the little money they had on a very expensive stuffed toy just for me.
2. I was the third kid, and very unassuming. To have her think about ME and buy ME something was pretty special.
3. When I was awake, at least I knew I was loved.

So, try to pick out a really special stuffed toy for your DD. Tell her that it is her special friend when she is lonely at night. That when she is sad, awake, upset, to hug her special friend, and her special friend will hug her back.
Might not work, but then again...it might.

newtowdw1

09-21-2005, 11:25 AM

This is a strange thread for me. I strongly advocate independence in my kids, but have never had an issue with them having their comfort items.

DD8 had a binky until she was 4! I never worried too much, her dentist wasn't worried, so we let her bring up the fact that no one at the sitter's or preschool had a binky anymore. She only used it for sleeping. Well, one night she decided that she didn't need it anymore. Fortunately for her, the binky fairy (whom she didn't know about) brought her a Barbie doll (her first) the next day! Wow! She must really be a big kid now!

She still has her first stuffed toy, a wonderful Peter Rabbit. He's been joined by his brothers, RePete and NewPete. Old Pete has a special place of honor and is only cuddled when life is REALLY bad (bad school bus day, bad injury, hospital, etc). NewPete went to Disney with us, where he was honored for his old age and obvious wisdom by Isabel, our mousekeeper. Many little bunnies appeared around Pete, and he was found reading to the younger stuffed animals quite frequently.

DS is a thumb sucker. While I wish he would stop (he'll be 5 in two weeks) I sucked my thumb until I was 8 or 9. Some of us just need more comforting than others. He has a special blankie and a kitty that are also comforters. Blankie got left at Grandma's and he's ok with that for now, but I'd never make him get rid of it. Kitty gets left outside on adventures, but still makes it to bed most nights.

I guess binkies and comfort items aren't a big deal to DH and me. We don't go out of our way to make sure that the comfort item is available...that's their responsibility. After all, DH is MY comfort item, and it's my responsibility to take good care of him and not leave him outside in the rain!! Oh, and if I'm sick both kids will leave me a stuffed animal to make me feel better. If Daddy goes away overnight he takes along TravelPete and PillowPuppy so he doesn't miss anyone too much.

I guess we're all just crazy!! :rotfl2:

A,M&Asmom

09-21-2005, 02:17 PM

My daughter is 2 and a few months and I got rid of hers by cutting the tip off with sizzors. I thought she was going to freak out, but she didn't. She just kept saying "mommy broke it"...and she would put it in her mouth and take it right out. She finally just quit trying. :cheer2:

keishashadow

09-21-2005, 02:51 PM

We always called it a "ninney-nooney", no idea why!

The Easter Bunny had a habit of making off w/my DS's ninneys when they were approaching 1 1/2 - 2 years of age. The Bunny brought them lots of other goodies (movies, games, stuffed animals, toys & candy) so not much of a fuss was raised. ;)We told them if they wanted itback, they had to trade in all of their presents - not one of my boys took the offer. They were usually so tired from the day's activities that falling asleep wasn't a problem.

CleveRocks

09-22-2005, 04:18 PM

It sounds strange but this worked for us....
We had the Nunny(our word for the pacifier) Fairy come and take it away one night. We told DS when he was about 3 1/2 that the Nunny Fairy comes and leaves a present for kids when they give up their pacifier and gives the nunny to babies that need it now. We didn't do it right away but kept telling him about it and asked him what he would like if he left his pacifier for the Fairy. After a few weeks (ok, not an immediate fix LOL) he found a $5 space set he really wanted. He though about it for 2-3 days and then came to us and said he was ready. We said goodbye and thank you to the nunny, and he left it on his night table. The next morning he had his space set and he was thrilled. He asked about his pacifier a few times but he wasn't really upset that he couldn't get it back. We just explained to him that another baby boy needed it more than he did now that he was a big boy. :wizard:
WOW! We did almost exactly the same thing just after my son's 3rd birthday (he's 5.5 now). He called it his "B" from when he was little and it was his best attempt at saying "binky." We told him the B fairy would be coming soon, and after a few days of thinking he said the gift he wanted the B fairy to leave was, of all things, a mommy penguin and baby penguin. You can imagine how difficult it was to find 2 differently-sized stuffed penguins, but we eventually did it!

It worked pretty well. He was down to using it only during sleep and while in the car, anyway. There were screaming fits in the car the first day or two, and I think the same at night, but all's well that ends well, right?

Our daughter just turned 3, but she's in the midst of pretty successful potty training right now AND just switched to a new pre-school (her first time without her big brother in the same building!), so we decided to drag it out and ruin her life slowly rather than doing it all at once. She's still got her binky at night and in the car, and it's a whole one day after her 3rd birthday.

I'm just so annoyed that they got started on them in the first place. Both times it was by accident. My wife is a pediatrician, and before she delivered our son she told the nurses in the nursery not to give our child a pacifier. On our last night before discharge, a temp nurse (who didn't know my wife and also apparently couldn't read a chart :earseek: ) gave him one, and we didn't have the heart to take it away. We successfully had the nursery nurses not give one to our daughter. But, she was hospitalized with RSV when she was 3 months old, and a nurse on the pediatrics floor gave her one, and since it seemed to soothe her during such a rough time in her little life we decided tnot to fight it. But looking back, I wish we would have nipped it in the bud both times. Live and learn ....

estherhead

09-22-2005, 06:08 PM

We got a book on Baby Miss Piggy giving up hers and read it over & over and then went to Wal-Mart and DD picked out a toy and "paid" for it with her last binky. I whispered to the clerk ahead of time and handed her my credit card. Then my daughter handed her the toy and the binky and the clerk put the binky in the cash register and handed my daughter the receipt and the toy. Never asked for one again.

MazdaUK

09-23-2005, 04:56 AM

But looking back, I wish we would have nipped it in the bud both times.

Before I had my eldest son I always said I'd never have a dummy - couldn't stand them! Guess what changed my mind? A colicy baby who wanted to breastfeed for hours at a time night and day! :blush:

Its easier to thow away a dummy than a thumb!

BTW, if anyone finds they can't persuade their child there's a very good book called "The Last Noo Noo" about a monster called Marvin who doesn't want to get rid of his dummy.

We read that nearly every day in the run-up to making the break and it really helped. :teeth: