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Honeybug
08-25-2005, 12:17 AM
I am hoping I can get some advice on some family drama. In October my husband and 2 little girls under 3 were going to take a vacation to Disney World with my sister, brother-in-law and 2 nieces under 3. We booked the trip on my sister's credit card. When we decided to take this trip we agreed that we were going to stay from Oct.1st-Oct.9 at the Pop Century in connecting rooms. This WAS supposed to be a cheap (since we booked because of the great dining package) and fun vacation for both families.

AllyBri
08-25-2005, 12:31 AM
Is it possible that your sister and BIL are treating all of you to the Poly? Being that they have not said anything to you about the switch. Maybe they wanted to surprise you.

:earsgirl: :earsboy:

Junebugwv
08-25-2005, 12:38 AM
Try not to let the changes upset you. There are reasons your sister and brother-in-law changed the reseservation and there are reasons they did not tell you. Were they trying to be deceitful? I doubt it. Were they trying to avoid a confrontation about their choices? Probably. Having connecting rooms at Pop is something you really wanted and they obviously did not. Please try to look at it without getting upset at them. Keep your plans and maybe you shoud consider letting their family make their own plans. Think how much you will enjoy your wonderful vacation at a magical place!

the kabuki
08-25-2005, 12:43 AM
Just a hint for a newbie, you shouldn't post the exact same thing on 3 different boards, one is sufficient. The DIS'ers here are a helpful bunch and will answer you if you just post on one.

studentmom
08-25-2005, 01:16 AM
Try not to let it get you down :)
My first thought after reading your post was that your sister may be trying to surprise you...especially since they didn't ask for more money. They may be paying the difference for the upgrade?
When your dh checked the reservation, were two rooms included on it or just one? If there was only one room than I would talk to your sister. If there are two rooms and she didn't say anything or ask for more money than maybe it's a surprise. You might double check with her that you paid all that you had agreed to. I hope it all works out. :goodvibes

Disneyworldreaming
08-25-2005, 04:22 AM
who's name is the ressies in? your sisters? If you have the ressies number, to be honest with you. I would call to check the ressies first. If she is trying to suprize you, at least you know what it is your dealing with. And nothing needs to be said.

DISNEYFAMILYOFFOUR
08-25-2005, 05:44 AM
In 2003 when we where going with my in-laws, we originally booked All Star Movies, then I changed the reservation when a code came out to the WL and kept it as a surprise for them. They did not learn of the change until the limo pulled up to the WL. We paid the difference in the upgrade for them.

Is your reservation still at Pop? If it is, I would still go and have a great time. We have done connecting rooms many, many times when we travel with extended family and have come to our conclusion that we prefer non connecting rooms.

disneydreamerinny
08-25-2005, 05:58 AM
OK, my first thought, like the rest of the posters, is she is trying to surprise you. I would almost bet money on it. Instead of being upset, I would be excited.
Definitely check and see if both of your room reservations were switched, or if it was just hers.
I wouldnt be so quick to judge unless you have proof otherwise. You might be feeling a little sheepish.
We hope to hear back from you.....

abacobaby
08-25-2005, 06:35 AM
Have you asked her about it yet? Are you going to? It's probably better to get the situation cleared up before you get too upset about it. Keep us updated!

WDW LifeLong Fan
08-25-2005, 06:49 AM
You have received good advice from the wonderful DIS Board Members.

I too, would see if you can check the reservation. See if both have been changed to the POLY as a surprise for your family.

Obviously, if both have not been changed, you will need to discuss this with your sister and let her know that this has disappointed you and your family.

However, I would stay at the POP and enjoy your vacation, I'm sure you deserve it.

Under no circumstances would I choose to forfeit the $2000 and not take the trip. :wave2:

Alicnwondrln
08-25-2005, 06:58 AM
so is there an update here?
are you all at th epoly or just her family
if it is her just her family i would GO GO GO anywhay and have a geat time
dont lose 2grand cuz your upset

if its only her at the poly they probably didnt wann ahurt your feelings and i wonder how she will explain the change to you .... will she wait til the day you leave

DisneyGrandParents
08-25-2005, 07:43 AM
Throw away two grand on an ASSUMPTION?????

Let her surprise you, and if it doesn't work out this time, make you 'together' plans on your own card next time, and she on hers. Live and learn. . .

pixiedust23
08-25-2005, 07:44 AM
Ok I was thinking maybe she upgraded you all as well.

However if she didnt. Its not an insult to you. SHe prolly didnt want to have a confrontation or make you feel bad. And just as you have vested a lot of money into this trip so has she and she is just trying to make it as magical as possible for her family as well.

As for canceling your trip, that is just absurd. Why would you just throw away money like that and have your daughters miss this wonderful vacation. If youre still upset and dont want to hang with your sis then dont but dont cancel a vacation over it.

tubachick
08-25-2005, 07:49 AM
as with many others, my first thought was that it was a surprise!!!! but I am also waiting to hear the update.

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 07:56 AM
My sister and her family are not trying to surprise me! I know this because our names are no longer under her reservation. They changed our reservation, but we are still at the POP. We had to get a new confirmation number to even be able to check on our reservation.

pixiedust23
08-25-2005, 08:00 AM
I don't think that I can still go to Disney now and have a good time. I am so hurt that my sister and her husband would go behind our backs and lie to us. My sister has hurt me in the past, but WOW I didn't think she would do something like this.

Ok a couple things. Just b/c YOU wont have a good time doesnt mean your DH and DD's wont/ And once you get there I think you will.

Also if she has screwed you over in the past why would plan a vacation with her?

Just go and have a good time with YOUR family and forget about them.

tubachick
08-25-2005, 08:05 AM
Just one more question.... when is the trip??

ChrisAlli
08-25-2005, 08:13 AM
You need to call your sister or better yet, walk down the street and find out what's up. And go from there. Making assumptions isn't going to help, let her explain things to you.

Then you can make plans with the new information, but in no way should you give up your vacation. What's done is done. You'll have a great time with your family, just think of your childs face when first meeting Mickey Mouse!!! Your sister can't change that!!!

swilshire
08-25-2005, 08:14 AM
OK ... can somebody find the other thread that is probably from the sister? I remember reading one recently where the sister wanted to change resorts and was afraid to hurt the other sister's feelings. The vote was split, but most felt that she should switch resorts if she really wanted to and that it's not a bad thing to stay in separate resorts.

You can still do fun things together. You can also enjoy your time apart.

I've been in similar situations where I've been disappointed that my in-laws didn't want to spend as much time with my family as I had hoped (particularly when I was footing the bill) but life goes on.

Please don't let this ruin your vacation or your family relationship. Life's too short.

Sheila

lmhall2000
08-25-2005, 08:19 AM
Take it from me, you'll LOVE this vacation!!!! I do recommend you simply call her and tell her that you found out that they had switched to the Poly...TAKE ALL THAT SENSITIVITY and spit it out before you call or you really will have a bad trip. I have a sister and I know how this one incident is really not about this one incident...it's a piece of hay on a haystack 10 feet tall and it's throwing you over the edge. I can show you how the conversation canl go....

Sis..."Hello."
You..."Hey, I was just calling to get all of our reservations confirmed since we put them on your card and they told me y'all were at the Poly. Hey, you're going to stay at the Poly??? You lucky duck!!! Maybe we can plan to meet at 'Ohana's with the girls one night, I hear it's a great resort! But they're not showing park hoppers for our family...is there anything we need to do to make sure we have them before we arrive?"

Now, make sure you don't have any snideness or cattiness in your voice..sisters pick up on that even when it's not there. Before you call maybe sit with your precious daughters and color with them and envision all the great pictures and memories you'll have from taking them to a family trip. Your sister was wrong not to tell you, but she also didn't want to create strife...I can see it happening this way in my family...my husband would in no way want to spend his vacation time with an extra set of youngsters under 3....it's really not peaceful and the women end up spending all the time together and it's hard to have family time. We did that one year and actually stayed with my sister in a 2BR OKW room...it was just much more work than staying in our own room and being able to manage nap times easily and have fun family time.

Don't look at this as she's got more and we don't or she's being dishonest..you're taking a GREAT vacation with YOUR family...it's a treat that you get to mingle while there but the only people who will remember having their "cousins" right next door would be you and your husband...your children are too young to remember...but they will "remember" through all the great pictures/scrapbooks/albums you create from having great trips and those smiles when the 8 of you do get together for dining and such. This is a vacation...not a power struggle...let it go and enjoy yourself.

Tara

MissionMouse
08-25-2005, 08:19 AM
Well in the past we ended up with relatives that let experience having our own real life Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was a trip that required us to reorient our expectations and take control to ensure we were able to have an enjoyable time at WDW.

This year for the first time it is just the four of us :banana:

I would suggest based upon the comments to become very real in reviewing your plans and expectations. A trip filled with conflict and sitting on the edge sensations waiting for the next conflict or jab will not be an enjoyable time.

I would definately consider developing your own schedule of what your family wants out of the trip to include events, activities, and meals independent of your sister's. I think it would be dangerous to place your hopes and expectations of having a great time by closely planning your trip to your sisters's family plans.

Right now there is a difference of opinion between two families and you need to make a decision of what you want to do to ensure you are able to have a stress free trip. Also realize when you make family trips to WDW there is always a level of stress and if you do not make ground rules then there will be alot of 'pushing and shoving' and bickering upfront or behind your back.

thptrek
08-25-2005, 08:27 AM
I wonder if this is your sister on this thread:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=894675

Being split up is a good thing. You all will still have plenty of time together to share in the hapiness and stuff. However, if nerves get frayed you get some time apart at your separate resorts. Ask your sister about coming over to the Poly for bfast, dinner or such to explore the Poly and make it fun for you too.

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 08:30 AM
I think right now I am more upset about being lied to and them going behind our backs.

AlexTina
08-25-2005, 08:42 AM
I am not sure I understand what the problem is. If staying at POP is what you want and will make your vacation great and staying at the Poly is what your sister wants and that will make her vacation great then whats the problem? Why should either of you compromise? You'll still be eating most meals together and you'll be doing the parks together and who knows in the end you might wind up appreciating the fact that you've got a little alone time with your family and can do whatever you want to do by yourselves ;). Just a thought.

Tina

HeatherPage
08-25-2005, 08:43 AM
I'm sorry you're in this situation :guilty: You need to just get it out in the open with her, the more you keep it bottled up, the more ticked off you're going to be until you probably just blow your top. If you're that upset with her (which it sounds like you are) by NO means cancel your vacation, all that would do would is hurt your own children and giving up $2,000 because of hurt feelings is insane. Find out about your tickets ASAP, have your sister refund your ticket money if there aren't any actual tickets for your family to be had or have her come up with your three tickets pronto (without giving her more money) then go to Disney with your family (husband and children) have a great time with YOUR family and if you get around to seeing your sister and her family while there, that will be fine too.

I hope it works out for you!

FARMGIRL
08-25-2005, 08:45 AM
I feel bad for you that this has happened, I would be upset too! Can you change your dates to another time if you don't want to go when they do, but I wouldn't stay away because your sister hurt your feelings. I'd go and have a great time without them, you might be better off anyway. It's hard for me to understand why she would do this, but families can be hard to deal with. Good luck, go and have a trip of a lifetime with your family!

Tinkbellfan
08-25-2005, 08:46 AM
Honeybug - understandably you have every right at being upset/hurt/angry! We all want you and YOUR family to experience a wonderful Disney vacation. Take a day to calm down, then straighten out the $$ and passes with your sis and go and have a great time (even if you go your own way when you arrive at WDW). Please keep us informed, and remember, you always have the experts on DIS to help YOU plan a great vacation for your family. :grouphug:

bosspaige
08-25-2005, 08:48 AM
I have been reading this thread and am just feeling so bad for you. I think you should ABSOLUTELY go on your vacation. Our close ties to family is one of the huge benefits of being human, the deep feelings we feel can bring us so much joy and so much angst. But, we are all human and although I don't agree with your sister lying to you, she is probably feeling really bad about the whole thing too.

My advice? Go, enjoy your vaction with your children and try to focus on that. Sometimes things seem so huge in the moment but after looking back on them, they didn't deserve so much heartache and stress...Just my 2 cents!!

We are off to Disney Sept 23rd for a short visit and NOTHING is going to stop us from having a great time. I am bringing my temper-tantrum throwing 2 year old, my 80 year old legally blind dad and my 5 year old niece who has a masters degree in complaining...Don't care...Going to have a blast!!

sue1013
08-25-2005, 08:49 AM
We have done many WDW vacations with family believe me it is much better for each family to stay where they want to be and its good to have time alone with your own family. Your sister's family probably never wanted to stay at Pop they were trying to fit in with your budget, then realized they wouldn't be happy there. She may have been planning on telling you but your DH looked at the reservation before she got a chance to. Look at it from your sister's point of view if her family would not have been happy at Pop why should she spend that money if they are not happy. We went with DH's sister and family they wanted to stay at ASM we don't like the values at all. When I told her we wouldn't be staying there she got a little miffed but why should I spend my vacation money where I don't want to be. And to her end why should she spend more than she wanted to? We stayed at different resorts and it all worked out fine. We met in the parks and for dinners then got to have a little alone time at the end of the day. Everyone was happy I'm sure it will work out for you too!

beattyfamily
08-25-2005, 08:55 AM
Wow, you must be pretty upset to cross-post this on three different boards...resorts, families and restaurants!

Like I already said, confront her, get the whole story and go from there BUT I wouldn't cancel and waste $2000 over this. I go like I was going without her period and have a great time with my family.

tekmom
08-25-2005, 08:55 AM
Hi. You should call your sister and just ask her why the switch. If your family is excited about the trip, then by all means take it and enjoy with your family. When you originally booked this trip, did your sister suggest going together or did you? Did you make plans together? Who suggested connecting rooms? And did her husband seem to be supportive of this idea? Maybe she hasn't told you of the switch yet because she's dreading a big fight? Please still take your trip with your family. You'll be glad you did. :flower:

grimley1968
08-25-2005, 08:56 AM
I'd just go. Being in separate resorts is really not a bad thing, if you want some true privacy with your family.

If your sister really wasn't trying to surprise you with an upgrade, it was wrong of her not to tell you she wanted the upgrade for her own family. She should have been more up front about it. But that shouldn't prevent you from enjoying Disney with your own family. It's up to you to decide whether you want to dine with your sister's family, or go to parks with them. If it was me, I probably would choose not to, and just enjoy the time with my own family.

jonestavern
08-25-2005, 08:57 AM
Wow! Imhall2000 & MissionMouse are right on target!
Believe me I say this from experience. It has taken me years to realize that while DSis loves me & needs me (in a crisis! & she can be quite dramatic ;) ) it seems that I am not on her radar on a regular basis. Since I gave up all expectations & am cordial, though distant, DSis seems more welcoming. I am close to my neices--now 23 & 24--& that has been very special. I just never count on anything she tells me. I realize when she says it she may mean it, but then she simply lacks the basic courtesy to state her change of intentions. I know the deception is a bitter pill to swallow & it is very small & underhanded on their part, just step back, focus on yr family. Be friendly to her & BIL but don't be too chummy, they may really need some 'breathing' rm or be feeling sheepish. Don't at all be reproachful or angry, that only seems to give folks like that an 'excuse'. Cool works best, for me at least.
FYI when we go to WDW w/my husbands DB & his family we agree to meet up for certain meals or shows & then go our own way--works out best for all concerned & we all have a super time!
Plan & go & enjoy! Yes, it hurts--please dear, don't let it bother you for years like I did, accept her ways, forgive, keep it for a lesson & you're the better person :sunny:

Jean

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 08:58 AM
She thought it would be great if all of us went together and it was her idea to get connecting rooms.

ChrisAlli
08-25-2005, 08:59 AM
Sorry, there is also a thread on the restraunt forum....Call your sister and stop talking to us...you need to work this out with her, you've been given some good advice here.

kdtwiss
08-25-2005, 09:00 AM
there is also the possibility that her dh wanted to surprise her. She may not even know.
That said - if she does - get it all out in the open and over with asap - so you can get back to planning and thinking happy thoughts about your vaca. I don;t think she lied to you or wanted to lie to you, but perhaps she thought you would feel badly about her family being able to stay at the Poly and you not.
Your dd will still enjoy the trip and that is what is most important. Tell her she will get to see two resorts now instaed of just one. Bet she would pick the value anyway! I think most kids prefer it. With any luck your neice will whine about not being able to stay in your resort (which although it may not be real nice to say - but it would give you a little payback chuckle)
We went down with family members and it was really hard trying to plan anything. Especially because they wante dto wing it! Of all the horrors! LOL! Make limited plans together, and enjoy yourself - but get this squabble over with in a big hurry. :Pinkbounc

Mcmouse
08-25-2005, 09:01 AM
First you need to have the discussion with your Sister. You can just casually mention that you were reviewing the reservation and found the change and let her explain.

I also agree that if your sister isn't happy with staying at POP then, they should stay were they are happy. We have done it both ways (staying at a resort that I didn't really want to be at ASMO because others in the family wanted to be there. And staying at separate resorts). We were much happier staying where we wanted to be. We still met up at the parks and for dinners, but got to stay in a nicer resort.

I also agree that your Sister should have told you that they were changing their reservation to Poly. But don't let that get you so upset that it spoils your vacation.

Good Luck. :flower:

kelleigh1
08-25-2005, 09:03 AM
I agree...what you need to do is talk to your sister. Not "confront" her, but talk to her. Until you do, this is just going to fester and make you more angry.

There are at least a dozen possible scenarios and assuming anything is only going to make it worse for you.

You say that you and hubby can't afford the Poly, so can you really afford to throw away $2,000 on an assumption?

cjsmith
08-25-2005, 09:05 AM
If your sister thought it would be a good idea to travel together and get connecting rooms, something obviously happened to have her change her mind. Maybe she should have come to you to tell you that they were switching resorts but for some reason she didn't. Maybe her husband wasn't happy and wanted a deluxe resort if he was going away and she felt caught between the two of you. Maybe he switched it to surprise her and she knows nothing about it! If you didn't have the discusssion with him, he may figure you're still traveling together it's still great.
Either way, stop second guessing the situation and either just deal with it by excepting it or say something to your sister or brother-in-law. It won't ruin the trip if you're not together, take it from experience. We traveled there with good friends and we stayed at the Yacht Club and they stayed at the Caribbean Beach and we still spent our time together and it worked very well. Sometimes a bit of space after a long day of dealing with crowds and heat can be a good thing!

Gillian
08-25-2005, 09:05 AM
Connecting rooms is probably not a good idea in any case. Next door or down the hall is close enough, IMO!

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope it works out. It seems a little selfish of them to plan this with you, knowing where you would be able to afford to stay, and then switch later on. No matter what their reasons for switching, they should have talked to you about it. It's not as though you wouldn't find out eventually. :rolleyes:

As far as the missing park hopper days, that needs to be fixed. Obviously a mistake was made. It's a good chance to let them know that you know about the switch and see what happens.

HeatherPage
08-25-2005, 09:10 AM
I agree with ChrisAlli and the others, get off line and go talk to her now.

minnie61650
08-25-2005, 09:21 AM
OK ... can somebody find the other thread that is probably from the sister? I remember reading one recently where the sister wanted to change resorts and was afraid to hurt the other sister's feelings. The vote was split, but most felt that she should switch resorts if she really wanted to and that it's not a bad thing to stay in separate resorts.

You can still do fun things together. You can also enjoy your time apart.

I've been in similar situations where I've been disappointed that my in-laws didn't want to spend as much time with my family as I had hoped (particularly when I was footing the bill) but life goes on.

Please don't let this ruin your vacation or your family relationship. Life's too short.

Sheila
Here is the other thread from the Op who was going to stay at the ASMu with her sis but longed for a deluxe instead.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=894675
A lot of Dis people said she should stay at the resort she wanted and let her sis stay at ASMu.
I posted all the fun things about ASMu
and she PM'ed me yesterday saying thanks for the info and was probaly going to stay at ASMu and get a Character meal with the money she saved.

Honeybug I am so sorry this happened to you. :grouphug: Hugs for you and your family.

Does your sis go Disney often?
It seems to me a lot of Dis people who have stayed at a deluxe in Disney
say the could NEVER stay at a VALUE. They often refer to it as a Motel Six.

Well, I am 55 years old and travel several times a year. I often stay at 4 star hotels.
So the deluxe resorts do not have anything special for me.
All Star is like being in the heart of the Magic and that is where I want to be.


I have also heard lots of great things from people who have stayed at POP.
Those giant icons are so Disney. The pools are themed. Your kids will have lots of fun.
Your sis just probally feels sad and thinks that she "CAN'T be HAPPY" unless she stays at a deluxe.
If that is the case you should feel sorry for your sister because she really is missing out. POP is a fun resort and her kids would have loved it. All the cousins could have had a lot of fun together but she chose the Poly for her own reasons.Maybe you need to ask her why she chose Poly over POP.
I have visited WDW more than a dozen times with the 1st time in Oct. 1971. It was brand new. I've stayed at FW, Disney Inn, a few the of Hotels on hotel Blvd., CBR and the towers at the Contemporary. I got to see the MK from my balcony at the Contemporary and I'm happy I got to experience it once.
The first time I went to the ALL Stars I went with my sis because it was within her budget, And we so much fun. Since then It has become my favorite.
My last 4 visits have been at The All Stars and this fall when we take dd,dsil, and our grandson age 3 we are staying at the All Stars Music. I thought about AKL and even though we can well afford AKL I just wanted Alex to experience the Disney Magic at the All Stars on his first visit.

So I say go to POP and have lots of fun. Your kids will love it there.
I don't know what you should say to your sister but you need to let her know what you found out sooner than later.
Maybe you might want to share this thread with her.
Enjoy your trip to Disney and take a look at the thread from the other poster.
Linda ::MinnieMo

missypie
08-25-2005, 09:30 AM
If I went on a WDW vacation with my sister, my head would explode. If I went on a WDW vacation with my sister with connecting rooms in the same hotel...don't know...what's worse than having your head explode? Maybe she thought it was far too much togetherness, and I wholeheartedly agree. Stay at different resorts, enjoy your together times and enjoy your apart times.

CharlesTD
08-25-2005, 09:36 AM
I would say that this is a suprise for you and your family and if they haven't said anything even when paying them it is a great gesture on thier part. They know you can't afford those accomodations and they can and they want to splurg and give you guys a treat staying in a resort you may otherwise never stay in. I know we have done this for family also they weren't hurt by it but very suprised and thanked us. Just take it for what it is a nice upgrade and a very great gesture from your sister and BIL.

grimley1968
08-25-2005, 09:40 AM
I would say that this is a suprise for you and your family and if they haven't said anything even when paying them it is a great gesture on thier part. They know you can't afford those accomodations and they can and they want to splurg and give you guys a treat staying in a resort you may otherwise never stay in. I know we have done this for family also they weren't hurt by it but very suprised and thanked us. Just take it for what it is a nice upgrade and a very great gesture from your sister and BIL.

The OP confirmed earlier that this isn't the case. She mentioned that their names are still down for Pop.

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 09:44 AM
Charles they are staying at the Poly and we are staying at the POP. We have paid for this trip. It is not that we couldn't afford to stay at Poly really. It is that we did not intend on making this trip that kind of trip. We kinda all agreed that it would be a "cheap and fun, last minute, let's go" kind of vacation.

Lewisc
08-25-2005, 09:51 AM
Charles they are staying at the Poly and we are staying at the POP. We have paid for this trip. It is not that we couldn't afford to stay at Poly really. It is that we did not intend on making this trip that kind of trip. We kinda all agreed that it would be a "cheap and fun, last minute, let's go" kind of vacation.

There isn't an easy way to say this but you didn't kinda of agree to make it a cheap trip. You wanted to that type of trip and evidently your sister didn't know how to tell you that's not the kind of trip she wants to take. She "yessed" you without really agreeing. Or after she gave it some thought she changed her mind and didn't want to burst your bubble. Or she didn't want to put pressure on you to book a hotel you don't really want to budget.

She may be mean and rotten or she may just want a different vacation experience and wants to make sure she doesn't try to force you to change your plans to match hers.

Telling you would put in in the position of changing your resort or trying to convince her to stay at a hotel she doesn't want to stay at.

Alicnwondrln
08-25-2005, 10:03 AM
have you talked to your sister yet?

you wont feel better til you do

Davefrompgh
08-25-2005, 10:03 AM
I feel really bad for you and know how disappointed in your sister you must be. However, please call or go speak with your sister...I love both of my sisters and one I could live "with" and my other sister..my other sister I would probably not even go on vacation with..... :confused3

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 10:24 AM
I was up all night thinking about this and got very little sleep. I am a wreck.

grimley1968
08-25-2005, 10:28 AM
my husband to get home from work. I am going to have him call my bil to get the truth. I know if I called her now it would get ugly. I want this to be a family issue not just a sister issue. Plus, I was up all night thinking about this and got very little sleep. I am a wreck.

I couldn't disagree more with this approach. I'd deal with your sister directly, and calmly, and not involve anybody else in your family in this. I see no reason for the rest of the respective families to be at odds, when the problem is really with your sister.

Tara
08-25-2005, 10:35 AM
my husband to get home from work. I am going to have him call my bil to get the truth. I know if I called her now it would get ugly. I want this to be a family issue not just a sister issue. Plus, I was up all night thinking about this and got very little sleep. I am a wreck.

With all due respect, if this is the way you and your sister deal with issues, then it's no wonder this is unfolding the way it is. I strongly encourage you to talk with your sister directly -- and calmly. Right now you don't know what happened and are making a lot of assumptions. It's water under the bridge, but the thing to do was call her immediately before you stewed about it all night and worked yourself into an even more upset state. You have nothing to lose if you approach her calmly and rationally and simply ask what is going on -- if she has sneaky motives, she'll likely be caught off-guard by your calm manner. If she has the best intentions, then not flying off the handle to begin with will keep her from getting defensive and you'll get to the bottom of all this much more easily.

Good luck -- I hope you get it all sorted out.

NCombs
08-25-2005, 10:35 AM
my husband to get home from work. I am going to have him call my bil to get the truth. I know if I called her now it would get ugly. I want this to be a family issue not just a sister issue. Plus, I was up all night thinking about this and got very little sleep. I am a wreck.


I don't understand what you are saying here. It seems you are saying you want to make it into a bigger family issue than just talking to your sister directly. That statement makes it sound like you want to make it an even bigger issue than it may need to be.

I don't understand why someone would put themselves through being up all night and making yourself a wreck and discussing it on a message board with complete strangers rather than just dealing directly with your sister.

In your first post you said you couldn't afford the Poly and then in a later post you said it wasn't that you couldn't afford it, it was really you hadn't planned that kind of trip but you are also willing to throw away $2000 and just not go. I guess this confuses me. Who in the world would be willing to toss that kind of money? Is it possible your sister is afraid to talk to you because you may be rather dramatic with your reaction?

Just talk to her. Believe me, I have seen many people on this board upset because of a perceived problem and when they actually take the time to talk to the people involved things are quickly resolved.

sue1013
08-25-2005, 10:46 AM
Honeybug your last few posts shows why your sister avoided telling you. You are making this much much bigger than it needs to be. So they stay where they want and you stay where you want. Why all the drama?

Lewisc
08-25-2005, 10:46 AM
my husband to get home from work. I am going to have him call my bil to get the truth. I know if I called her now it would get ugly. I want this to be a family issue not just a sister issue. Plus, I was up all night thinking about this and got very little sleep. I am a wreck.

This isn't really about truth and lies. It's about two famlies that have different ideas on what kind of vacation experience they want to budget. There is no reason for you to let it get ugly. Your sister wasn't comfortable telling you they changed their plans and you're not comfortable asking her why she didn't let you know they changed their plans. Sounds like she, correctly, knew you wouldn't take it well. Just because someone "yesses" you doesn't mean they agree with you.

You have a right to be annoyed they didn't tell you. You have no right to be annoyed they decided they wanted a different vacation experience. Do you know when the change was made? If it was recent they may have been waiting to tell you.

CALL AND MAKE SURE YOU STILL HAVE FREE DINING. The passes will be easy to take care of.

chamonix
08-25-2005, 10:48 AM
I agree that you won't know for sure what happened until you talk to your sister. NOT confront her, just ask her.

You know, it's not unheard of for reservations to get messed up--maybe they did cancel both rooms at POP and booked two at the Poly but for some reason the system kept you in there. Maybe the system wouldn't let them change rooms with your names on them, or mistakenly one room wasn't cancelled. You said yourself that you had to "get another confirmation number" to check on your POP ressie. How did that happen? Did your dh call, and when he came up with no rooms under the original confirmation number, press the CM to find the ressie for you, which then was basically "recreated" and given a new confirmation number....? Did you check to see how many rooms she had booked at the Poly? (I am guessing the CM would not tell you that, so you have NO IDEA if she did or not!!)

Ask your sister. It's pretty simple. Why get all worked up about something when you have truly no idea what has happened and why? If she really did what you are assuming she did, then feel anyway you want to about it. Until then, do yourself a favor and don't waste negative energy on something you don't KNOW has happened.

I do know that when I booked two rooms at the Poly for myself and friends, I didn't even have to give the names of the people in the other room. In effect, I have two rooms booked under my name, for me. If my friends were to call to "check on their reservation" they wouldn't find any room booked for them or with their names in the computer at all.

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 10:51 AM
My sister and I have had lots of issues in the past. Before I talk to my sister I want to make sure this isn't a surprise from her husband or something he did by having my husband talk to my bil.
Lesson learned NEVER HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS PLAN OR BOOK YOUR VACATION!

Lewisc
08-25-2005, 10:55 AM
My sister and I have had lots of issues in the past. Before I talk to my sister I want to make sure this isn't a surprise from her husband or something he did by having my husband talk to my bil.
Lesson learned NEVER HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS PLAN OR BOOK YOUR VACATION!

You can plan a vacation together but unless one party is treating each family should make your own reservations. Many famlies decide to stay in different resorts.

tekmom
08-25-2005, 10:55 AM
Take it from someone who knows....don't get anyone else in your family involved in this. For whatever reason...that may be becoming clearer as this thread progresses...your sister and possibly her husband, doesn't want to stay where you want to stay. End of story. Call her, take your trip and don't deprive your kids of a nice trip because you feel...this has "ruined" it. Don't let your husband confront her husband...because if your brother n law is anything like my husband....he's gonna hurt some feelings. In all the time it took to put this on 3 boards...you could have had it out with your sister and moved on. Good luck.

DisneyMommyMichelle
08-25-2005, 10:58 AM
Just go anyways and have a great time....believe me family or not you really want to spend time on your own with your kids and husband not tailing around others and dining with others...we went with a gradn gatherings group of 75 and spent time with only about 3 or 4 probably 2times and that was it...we LOVE disney by ourselves...if this is not the way you feel, it is probably the way they feel. Take it with a grain of salt and go have THE BEST VACATION EVER!!!

HopperFan
08-25-2005, 11:05 AM
WOW, quite a dilemma. I agree that if she agreed to handle both of your reservations, then any changes should have been discussed with you in advance. I have also traveled to WDW w/Dsis and others on various trips. (and always liked staying at different resorts trips the best)

What would I do ? First, let it go for the sake of a great trip. Chalk it up to experience and do not get into this situation again by trusting her to book. Now, I would call my sister asap, very calmly explain... "I see that you have changed your reservation......so I checked ours to make sure all is in place.....I am concerned because there are no tickets assigned to our room so I will call WDW direct to verify. It appears they did not give us credit. I will get it taken care of, but since we paid you for our tickets already, you need to give me that portion of the money back so I can pay WDW direct." Then get to work on making sure your room/tickets and dining package is all in place so when you get there it is smooth sailing.

Then I would breath and decide how much of my trip I want to visit with them. My goal would be for MY family to have a wonderful magical trip ! Put the sister stuff aside. Do I want to keep my dinner reservations or do I want to change them to somewhere else ? Clearly you are upset and there is something happening here. Will you be able to let it go by time the trip comes and enjoy your meals together ? That is a time when visiting is necessary - unless it is character meals. Maybe you just meet in the parks to watch a parade together, or have the girls doing Fantasyland together. Some together time with distractions and focus on the children so that you can begin to rebuild your relationship here.

#1 Let your family go and enjoy and feel the magic, even if you don't see them at all.
It is your vacation and you are in control of your enjoyment. Just a different trip that you had envisioned before.

Jennasis
08-25-2005, 11:07 AM
This all sounds quite strange.

Possibility #1:
Your sister changed all of the ressies to surprise you and for whatever reason, the system does not reflect it.

Possibility #2:
Your sister changed HER ressie to the Poly because they would rather stay there. If she never told you about it she either knew you would react this way and wished to avoid confrontation as long as possible, or MAYBE her husband switched it to surprise HER. Or maybe she is a callous sneak...who knows?

Either way, you obviously have a longstanding issue/grudge whatever against your sister (and possibly, she with you) so WHY on EARTH are you panning a vacation with her when you obviously have these problems???

I say take your vacation, let her take hers and meet up for dinner/lunch whatever along the way.

PS, having your husband call your BIL is not only a bad idea but a TOTAL cop-out. Call your sister yourself. Have the big blowout with her if it comes to that because you obviously have some things that you need to say to her and need to hear from here, and stop dancing around the issue and be an adult and deal with it yourself.

Sorry to be harsh but we all need a kick in the pants from time to time. I know I sure did not long ago!

eeyore45
08-25-2005, 11:08 AM
My sister and I have had lots of issues in the past. Before I talk to my sister I want to make sure this isn't a surprise from her husband or something he did by having my husband talk to my bil.
Lesson learned NEVER HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS PLAN OR BOOK YOUR VACATION!


OK, lets start here :grouphug:

You have acknowledged your pain, confusion, and distrust. You have lots of great advice. Bottom line is, we cant walk in your shoes, only you can...

When you talk to your sister, try real hard to keep it on the *I* talk... *I* feel confused, *I* felt hurt when I called and found out, *I* feel you dont want to be near me, *I* feel deceived that you went behind my back... even *I* want to stay at the Poly, *I* want to watch our dds' experience Disney together...

You are walking a fine line, try very hard not to 'accuse' and say "you" changed to the Poly, You can afford, you did this... etc... (and its more than watching too many episodes of Dr Phil LOL- unless you want to burn all bridges of communication, you do have to walk the fine line, you do have to decide if its important to remain civil, and watch your niece grow, do you want your dd to have a relationship with her cousin? You have to decide.

You can call Disney, you do need to know 1. Free Dining!! That would be the hardest to give up, if you dont have the free dining, then that's a whole nother set of problems...

2. Ask about the total package price of the Pop room, what it includes, as you state 5 days, find out about upgrading to 8, but I forgot your dates, I thought they were from Oct 3 to the 8th, so I may be wrong on that front!!

3. Start a new thread and plan a vacation with just you and your family, what are you looking forward to? Cinderellabration? Meeting the Princesses in Toon Town Fare? Dumbo? Tiki Birds??

4. dont give up!! Chin up, but I will say, good for you, get all your emotions out here, and that way you can be more straightforward with your sister...

If you 2 live close, it might be better to talk in person, than over the phone, your sisters, dont hang up, give it time!

tlbwriter
08-25-2005, 11:31 AM
This isn't really about truth and lies. It's about two famlies that have different ideas on what kind of vacation experience they want to budget. There is no reason for you to let it get ugly. Your sister wasn't comfortable telling you they changed their plans and you're not comfortable asking her why she didn't let you know they changed their plans. Sounds like she, correctly, knew you wouldn't take it well. Just because someone "yesses" you doesn't mean they agree with you.
I disagree. The OP is upset because the plans were changed behind her back. We have no way of knowing how she would have reacted if she sister had said "You know, we really want to stay at the Poly, so we're going to change." At this point, it *is* about truth and lies. I mean, they reduced the OP's number of park hopper passes - if it was done deliberately, there's no way to justify that. It has nothing to do with her sister "not feeling comfortable" about telling her anything.

eeyore45
08-25-2005, 11:45 AM
Just stopping by to see if you've checked in...

WELCOME TO THE DIS btw!! :cheer2:

Since you only have a few posts under your name, you're new to the Dis, and may not realize how helpful the Dis can be if you want help and advice!! :goodvibes

For your Pop ressie, have you checked out this thread?

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=893376

lots of dis'ers are staying at the Pop for your same time frame!!

This thread has a list of all that posted they are going to Disney in October

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=744893

It has over 2,000 posts, read the first page and then skip to the last, ask any questions, lots of us read there, and will be more than happy to help you with any plans, or questions!!

Also, MommyBoo has a spreadsheet that includes everyone that posted their dates, and their Resort...
(Her last post was 2005, page 134, click on her orange link for the spreadsheet!)

Lets see, what else can I do to help you feel good about Disney? as well as the Dis?

Feel free to PM me, under username on the left side, click and one choice is send a PM to eeyore45!!

Lewisc
08-25-2005, 11:56 AM
You may be right. I can't imagine the sister deliberatly dropping 3 days off the passes. Reducing the number of days isn't lowering the price by enough money to be worth stealing but anything is possible.

OP keeps saying it was the sisters idea to get connecting rooms and to make this a budget trip at the POP. Yet the sister changed to the POLY. OP keeps saying there is a lot of bagge between the two of them.

I think, but have no way of knowing, that both of them are a little wrong. The sister should have told OP that the plans were changing but when you read OP's posts it doesn't really sound like she would have taken it very well.

Many famlies decide to stay in different resorts and it's not the end of the world.



I disagree. The OP is upset because the plans were changed behind her back. We have no way of knowing how she would have reacted if she sister had said "You know, we really want to stay at the Poly, so we're going to change." At this point, it *is* about truth and lies. I mean, they reduced the OP's number of park hopper passes - if it was done deliberately, there's no way to justify that. It has nothing to do with her sister "not feeling comfortable" about telling her anything.

tlbwriter
08-25-2005, 12:04 PM
You may be right. I can't imagine the sister deliberatly dropping 3 days off the passes. Reducing the number of days isn't lowering the price by enough money to be worth stealing but anything is possible.
I wonder if she shortened the whole trip (because you're right, 3 days off the passes is a drop in the bucket), including the resort stay. OP, are the dates still the same?

I think, but have no way of knowing, that both of them are a little wrong. The sister should have told OP that the plans were changing but when you read OP's posts it doesn't really sound like she would have taken it very well.
We'll never know. It may be that she would have simply been disappointed and a little bummed if it had been done honestly, and it's only the lies that have made her so hopping mad.

Sandi
08-25-2005, 12:05 PM
But why so many parkhoppers in the first place? If it is the OP, her DH and two girls under three and the Sister's family is the same, don't they only need a total of 4, not 8?

Anyway, I agree with the others that the OP ought to just talk to her sister.

My family and my sister's family are going together in February. We're staying at the same resort, but I'm certainly not asking for connecting rooms! (We have a 10 year old DD; she has a 1 year old and a 2 year old.) We get along very well, but maybe part of that is because we don't live up the street from each other. Living in different states makes our time together more special.

isyt
08-25-2005, 12:08 PM
I know how hard this is, I have a single mom sister and her 5yr dd. My family is myself, dh and 3 kids. I am always trying to get us to stay near each other and dh wants nothing to do with it. It hurts me but I also understand my neice was always opening the door when we were getting changed and she is up earlier than my kids. My sister can't afford deluxe ( moderate either) and we can not stay in value (5 in a room ), laast year I paid the difference for her to stay in deluxe(dh did not know), but this year she made a last minute decision to come with us so she is at Pop and we are at YC. I feel bad because she has to do the buses by herself with a stroller, but how long can I guilt myself for her life.

Who ever thought family vacations would be so tough!! I hope it does work out for you and your sister, mine is still my best friend!!

meatballsmom
08-25-2005, 12:15 PM
But why so many parkhoppers in the first place? If it is the OP, her DH and two girls under three and the Sister's family is the same, don't they only need a total of 4, not 8?

You know I read her post the same way. Everybody on here thought thinks she means amount of days. If it's the amount of tickets, her daughter is turning 3 while there so that might be why 5. All the others are under 3. But if its the amount of days, it doesn't make much sense since it is all that much per ticket to extend it a few days.

Viki
08-25-2005, 12:19 PM
You have a sister. I don't. She won't talk to me. She hasn't talked to me in about 5 years because my "lifestyle" is too complicated for her.

Talk to your sister. But don't spill your guts. You have a right to all of your feelings, but you don't have a right to share them with her. Just be curious about what happened and accept it at face value. Having your husband make this call for you is called "triangulating." That's what we do when don't trust ourselves. So, it's not your sister you don't trust in this situation. It's you. If you knew you could handle whatever reason she gives, you could make the call with some sense of peace. If you don't think you can handle it, then "fake it until you make it." That's the way we all grow up.

:sunny: :sunny: :sunny:

eleanor
08-25-2005, 01:05 PM
I love my sister dearly but I would never ever travel with her. Did it once. I would go to the same place but have separate resorts. Meet for a few meals,and then talk about how everyone is enjoying themselves and off again to do my own thing. Sounds selfish probably but believe me it works out fine.

disneymom2one
08-25-2005, 01:24 PM
my husband to get home from work. I am going to have him call my bil to get the truth. I know if I called her now it would get ugly. I want this to be a family issue not just a sister issue. Plus, I was up all night thinking about this and got very little sleep. I am a wreck.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I just would never handle things this way. I have a sister. Not only is she much younger than me but we are completely different people - nature definitely is stronger than nurture in our family (I'm adopted/she's not).

BUT when we have issues we TALK them out. We have each other's phone numbers and we get it settled. I don't stay up all night. I call her - and she's 300 miles away not down the street. It sounds like you need this to be way more drama than it probably needs to be. I'm not a fan of drama. If you can discuss it with perfect strangers on three different threads, why can't you go to your sister?

dreamangelx
08-25-2005, 01:29 PM
If this comes up more than once, I am really sorry. I'm new and trying to figure this whole forum out.

I agree that the reservations should have been made separately. Any number of things could happen especially when dealing with family - if all of those court shows teach any lessons, it's that one. However, what's done is done and you can't go back and change the fact that these reservations were made together.

I don't think its fair that some responses have accused the OP of assuming that "yesses" were agreements. Her sister is a big girl, just like she is, if she had any objections to the plans they were making *together,* then she could have said no OR not have made the reservations together under her and her husband's name! In fact, if her sister had these feelings from the get go, a simple no could have prevented this whole situation (that is, of course, if this was something her sister was unsure of in the beginning).

It's nice to think that people are upgrading others as a surprise but the reality of the situation, IME anyway, is that doesn't happen often enough to assume that was the case. Also, again, this is only my opinion and based on the way I live and was brought up - but if this is supposed to be a family vacation, combined with the sister's family or not, the husband had no right to "surprise her" by changing the reservations without discussing it with her first. As a married couple, I would think money and how its spent, along with vacation plans shouldn't be taken upon oneself to make for the entire family unless given previous permission to do so.

What I think is that the OP should, like everyone said, talk to her sister. Having your husband communicate to her husband is a bad idea. Like another poster said, it will make it an even bigger issue than it is (FTR I do think that it is a big issue, way beynd just wanting to stay at different places). But anyway, that is my 2 cents.
--Stephanie

Tinkerbells2000
08-25-2005, 01:30 PM
Be glad you are going to Disney!!! Trust me, you will be happy in seperate resorts. WE have traveled with DH's brother and his wife before, and it was a good thing we were in seperate resorts. We needed the brake from each other every night. In fact by the middle of the vacation we had decided to split up during the day too. We wanted to do our thing, and they wanted to do their thing, we met for a couple of meals, and that kept us all happy. If you have problems with your sister now, can you imagine being with her the whole vacation. Dh and his brother are like best friends, but we jst could not vacation together.
I understand you are hurt because she did this behind your back, but in the long run, and once you are at Disney, you will be thankful!! :flower:

hawaii5o
08-25-2005, 01:31 PM
I just read this whole thread.... all 5 pages of it. I feel bad for you, but you shouldn't let it get you so worked up like this. You should ask your sister in a nice way if they decided to change resorts. If she says yes, then say ok and then move on. You can still have a great time on your vaca..... IMHO I would rather not stay so close to my sister. One year they stayed off site and we stayed on. I dont think they cared, if they did, they never said anything about it, we all met up at the parks and had a great time. The next time, we all stayed at the same resort, POFQ. We didnt have connecting rooms then either. Even with family, people want to do different things at different times and stay at different places etc....... That is why when we go on vaca with relatives, we just say we will meet you at wherever at a certain time or make dinner arrangements like 1 or 2 nights.....We are going again in Nov with a different sis in law and she wants to stay at a house off site and we will prob stay at All stars..... We like not driving and just hopping on the bus. They have a bigger family and want more space. We will all meet up and have a great time. You should too!!!! PLEASE dont let this get to you, this is suppose to be fun...... ITS DISNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :earseek: oh and one more thing.... if your sister did it spitefully then still go.... be nice and then after the vaca just dont plan a vaca with her anymore......

Nancyg56
08-25-2005, 01:43 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I just would never handle things this way. I have a sister. Not only is she much younger than me but we are completely different people - nature definitely is stronger than nurture in our family (I'm adopted/she's not).

BUT when we have issues we TALK them out. We have each other's phone numbers and we get it settled. I don't stay up all night. I call her - and she's 300 miles away not down the street. It sounds like you need this to be way more drama than it probably needs to be. I'm not a fan of drama. If you can discuss it with perfect strangers on three different threads, why can't you go to your sister?


I agree. I have a sister and a sister in law (Sister of my first husband) and sometimes issues arise. We never let them keep us apart. I sometimes talk out a problem with a trusted friend first, but them I talk to DS or DSIL. There may have been a reason for the change, and it may or may not have been a good one, but it still needs to be addressed and then settled. Better to commmunicate and know what happened then to speculate and allow hurt and anger to fester. I also think that now is a good time to discuss expectations for the trip in order to make sure that the vacation is magical for both families. The longer that you put this off the harder it will be to resolve. I also think that if your DH calls your BIL, you may open doors better left closed. I am hoping for a happy ending for you.

WDW1st-timers
08-25-2005, 01:52 PM
Thank God I'm the only child.

tekmom
08-25-2005, 02:04 PM
Any updates from the OP? At least for the hopper situation?

meatballsmom
08-25-2005, 02:16 PM
I've been watching Tekmom but haven't seen anything.

kelleigh1
08-25-2005, 02:21 PM
This is like my "train wreck" thread. I just have to keep checking in because I'm really curious about what happens, even though I have nothing else to post.

And you might notice, that now the mods are moving the other threads which means all three will be on the same board. So much for posting everywhere.

MDMOUSE
08-25-2005, 02:29 PM
I don't know about everyone else, but disney with the extended family is never perfect. It's hard to travel with others, no matter how close you are. Some space can be a blessing. They say that the best revenge is living well..so, enjoy your kids and husband. So many people couldn't afford to go to disney and stay at the Pop century. Try to put things in perspective, health first, then all the rest is icing. Don't get caught up in the nonsense and try to focus on your immediate family and the great opportunity you have to enjoy them.

DisneyMommyMichelle
08-25-2005, 02:36 PM
I'm also just checking in to see if she's been back...
MDmouse you really worded that well.

I was wondering why all the threads were on the same board, but now i know that the mods moved them over..

I hope you called your sis OP it really is the best thing you can do right now.

Jennasis
08-25-2005, 02:37 PM
As an aside to the OP, I say do your own thing! Forget your sister and just make your own trip. I know you had hoped to make it a family trip but it seems that is not in the works anymore. Go and enjoy your DH and kids and have a magical time.

kurtie
08-25-2005, 02:37 PM
perhaps changing from 8 to 5 park hopper tickets has been a mistake when they changed the reservation. maybe talk to her before you go - there is no other way round it. when you don't communicate things get so much worse - I know from experience!

ozarkmom
08-25-2005, 02:41 PM
I've been debating whether or not to throw my 2 cents in. I'm pretty new and feel funny about jumping in. Here goes- Please don't cancel your vacation and lose your money, I can't even imagine thinking like that. Obviously there are a lot of other issues going on that we don't know or need to know. Talk to you sister. Make sure your calm and try not to let it escalate to a fight. You may still not have satisfaction after talking to her but here what she has to say and then let it be over. The bottom line is that you and your family are GOING TO DISNEY! Think how many people would love to be in your shoes. I've also been thinking and without knowing all of the facts can sort of see both sides. I've agreed to things with friends/family and later really wished I had expressed my feelings and then didn't know how to get out of or change things. On your end it hurts when somone isn't honest with us. Just talk let it go and have a great time. If you can spend some time with sister's family great and if you can't oh well!

henrylovespooh
08-25-2005, 03:01 PM
Definitely don't cancel your trip, but cut your sister out of your trip and enjoy your family at WDW. You do have to rectify the problem with the missing park tickets, though, because that's alot of money.

If you feel like treating your sister as she has treated you, you can try to change your travel dates and not tell her. Then your trip won't be tied to her and you won't feel like you have to do things with her. Of course your kids won't get to do things together, but it sounds like you might not be able to be cordial to your sister anyway. I don't know what kind of fees you will incur or if it's even possible, but I thought I would throw it out as an option.

I would be mad if I were you too, but don't trash a trip to WDW.

SoosieQ
08-25-2005, 03:02 PM
Go and have fun despite her. I know how sisters can be, can't live with them and can't live without them :confused3

tlbwriter
08-25-2005, 03:19 PM
Go and have fun despite her. I know how sisters can be, can't live with them and can't live without them :confused3
Can't live with them, can't smother them with a pillow in their sleep... :rolleyes1

I think the missing hoppers are missing *days,* not missing actual passes. As in, she had 8-day passes and they were changed to 5-day. I know a lot of people are saying it's no big deal that the OP won't be staying in the same resort with her sister. And they're right, it's not. But that's not the main issue. Someone either told a big lie or made a huge mistake, and it can't be ignored if the vacation is going to happen for the OP. If the sister has been in charge of planning/paying for the whole trip, and she's been dishonest about this part, what else is she lying about? I'd be worried.

skipwick1
08-25-2005, 03:43 PM
You can only be a doormat if you allow yourself to be a doormat!!!!

You need to stop posting this all over the DIS boards and call your sister.

PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!!!!

abacobaby
08-25-2005, 04:42 PM
Wow, I would be fuming too if I were in your situation.

First of all, if you and your sister made these plans together, regardless who came up with the idea to travel together, she should have told you from the very beginning if she was not 100% happy staying at POP. Even if she was happy about it, but her DH wasn't, then she should have called you right away. I mean, what is the big deal? Of course you would have been hurt and upset had she called and told you that, but definitely not as hurt and upset as you are now!!!

Changing the reservations behind your back is just...there are no words for that, in my book. I mean, it is your/Dh's hardearned money that you gave her to pay for the vacation so you should be informed of a reservation change.

Having said all of this, I seriously do not understand why you have to get your husband and BIL involved. She is YOUR sister and YOU need to deal with her. Call her and talk to her about it calmly and see what she has to say. If it was meant to be a surprise for her from her DH - well, too bad at this point. He should have had enough sense to call you and fill you in on his plans, don't you think? How can you sit and wait to talk to her about this? I would have called her last night. The more you think about it, the angrier you will get and that won't help the situation at all.

Please call or go over there NOW and resolve this problem.

Oh, and another thing - don't let your sister ruin what could be a magical vacation for your kids. You know they'll love every minute of it and once you see how happy they are and see the smiles on their faces, you'll know it was the right decision to go on the trip anyway.

On the upside, if you don't go with your sister and BIL, you and your family can do whatever you want/whenever you want it without having to always discuss, argue and compromise about your next move.

Hope you resolve this very fast and keep us posted!

thunderbird1
08-25-2005, 05:00 PM
First, I'm so sorry this is causing you so much stress. :grouphug: Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing, yet it seems that often isn't the case when it's still in the planning stages. I'm the travel planner in the family, and we've done many extended family group trips with my dad, bro and sil, il's, aunts, uncles and various combinations thereof. And every time, I work my butt off trying to get all the arrangements just right so everyone will be happy, and without fail, they always change everything at the last minute. I mean, you'd think it was their vacation, too! ;)

Connecting rooms is probably not a good idea in any case. Next door or down the hall is close enough, IMO!

LOL--we always make a point of specifically requesting NOT to have connecting rooms. In fact, we don't even want rooms next to any of our relatives. Same building, same floor, maybe, but not so close that we could hear each other through the walls :scared:

So go, have fun and try to make the best of it. It could be fun staying at separate resorts. Two different worlds to explore!

lts862
08-25-2005, 06:06 PM
You can only be a doormat if you allow yourself to be a doormat!!!!

You need to stop posting this all over the DIS boards and call your sister.

PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!!!!

I absolutely agree with skipwick1....and why has the OP edited every one of her posts? I think I just need to stay away from this thread before I say something I shouldn't!! ::yes::

kelleigh1
08-25-2005, 06:25 PM
Looks to me like we're never going to find out the real story.

And anyone reading this thread now must be really confused since the majority of the initial post was removed.

studentmom
08-25-2005, 06:33 PM
I wonder why she would edit her post?? :confused3 Was kinda hoping she would give us an update...

I truly hope everything works out for the good. :)

UrsulasShadow
08-25-2005, 07:19 PM
Yup, I'm confused. Wish I knew the OP's story, but since she edited it all out, all the replies make no real sense to me, so I guess I'll refrain from trying to offer advice, other than some general advice to the OP. Family issues should be worked out with the family, or a therapist, not a bunch of strangers on public forums.

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 07:30 PM
Thanks for all of the great advice today! Well, my husband talked to my bil and it turns out that he was the one who booked his family in the Poly without telling us. He was going to surprise my sister. And boy, is she surprised, but not in a good way. I have spoken with her tonight. I told her how hurt we are and she is going to have him "fix" this however he can.
Again, thanks for all of the warm responses!

Honeybug
08-25-2005, 07:32 PM
my anal husband decided to edit the posts. Sorry!

CharlesTD
08-25-2005, 07:32 PM
The OP confirmed earlier that this isn't the case. She mentioned that their names are still down for Pop.
oops I guess that is what I get for not taking the time to read all teh posts LOL. Well in that case so be it go and have fun with your family. We take friends and relatives with us all the time and even if we do want to do things with them they don't have to be with us 24/7. We usually don't even stay at the same resorts together we stay where we like and they stay where they like.

WDW1st-timers
08-25-2005, 07:33 PM
I'm glad that things are prob. going to work out for the best!!! Have fun on your trip! :wave: :wave:

eeyore45
08-25-2005, 08:12 PM
my anal husband decided to edit the posts. Sorry!


Its ok, I totally understand, forgive all of us for some of the comments that may have upset you or your dh!!

Give your sister and BIL a big hug, its so hard to go through all of that, but hopefully as you sit at CRT on your DD 3rd Bday - you will all focus on the love!! :love:

:love: Thanks for taking the time to share your story, and your pain!! Hope when its all over, you will return and post a trip report on the Trip Report board!!

minnie61650
08-25-2005, 08:16 PM
Honeybug
Thanks for keeping us posted. I am glad you found out it was just BIL trying to surprise your sis. I hope everyone has a wonderful time at Disney.
Be sure to post a trip report when you get back. Hugs :grouphug: to all including your BIL who thought he was planning a nice surprise but it backfired.
Sometimes people get caught up with the idea of a surprise and don't really
think things through.

Have fun at Disney!
Linda ::MinnieMo

liquid
08-26-2005, 07:16 AM
Wow -what a ride!

I hope your BIL can work things out to keep everyone happy. And, even if you do end up at different resorts, remember what eeyore45 said -

hopefully as you sit at CRT on your DD 3rd Bday - you will all focus on the love!!

MDMOUSE
08-26-2005, 07:23 AM
You can all yell at me, but at this point with the original post edited, I am feeling for the sister. I would stay somewhere else, too. Such drama!

Jennasis
08-26-2005, 08:20 AM
I win I win!!! I am the one who said that the BIL might have changed resorts to surprise his wife! So what do I win?

Seriously, Honeybug, this is the best outcome you could have hoped for. Men can be insensitive louts even when they are trying to do something nice. I hope he apologizes to you and your sister for stirring up such a hornets nest. Perhaps re-examining what kind of vacation you all want is in order. Your sister and her family obviously want something a little fancier (she must have made mention of this to her husband at some point to cause him to change the ressie). If she still wants the fancy trip, let them keep the Poly and you guys can keep the value resort andmeet up each day at a designated park. Orrrrr, maybe you guys can turn the trip into a fancier one if you like.

No matter what, hug your sister. It is truly unfortunate that the first (and ONLY) conclusion you jumped to was that it was not only your sister's doing, but that it was a spiteful or deliberate attempt to hurt you by your sis. Some soul searching is in order. Good luck and enjoy your trip.

Alicnwondrln
08-26-2005, 08:22 AM
I win I win!!! I am the one who said that the BIL might have changed resorts to surprise his wife! So what do I win?

Seriously, Honeybug, this is the best outcome you could have hoped for. Men can be insensitive louts even when they are trying to do something nice. I hope he apologizes to you and your sister for stirring up such a hornets nest. Perhaps re-examining what kind of vacation you all want is in order. Your sister and her family obviously want something a little fancier (she must have made mention of this to her husband at some point to cause him to change the ressie). If she still wants the fancy trip, let them keep the Poly and you guys can keep the value resort andmeet up each day at a designated park. Orrrrr, maybe you guys can turn the trip into a fancier one if you like.

No matter what, hug your sister. It is truly unfortunate that the first (and ONLY) conclusion you jumped to was that it was not only your sister's doing, but that it was a spiteful or deliberate attempt to hurt you by your sis. Some soul searching is in order. Good luck and enjoy your trip.

excellent post!

*Fantasia*
08-26-2005, 08:23 AM
Why did you husband would want to edit both post? This one and the other one that I have replied on? Is it maybe just in case your BIL and your sister might read them? It's only right to show your anger (because I would too be angry if my BIL would switch the resort without telling us and changing the amount days of the tickets) and even if they read this post (but they will never know the real post before being edited), they should understand your frustration and since we are all Disney nut here... this is one way to vent out is to post here. Anyways...

kelleigh1
08-26-2005, 08:26 AM
Glad that all worked out and I hope that you'll see this as a learning experience that you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Imagine if your husband hadn't talked to your BIL to find out the truth and you either cancelled your trip or went on the trip still thinking that she'd lied to you. That would have made for a miserable trip.

I hope that in the future, you'll stop for a minute and think about things before assuming anything. Your poor sister was the unknowing recipient of your anger for two days because you assumed she'd done something wrong. Go have a wonderful trip!!!

jeannej
08-26-2005, 09:37 AM
I think right now I am more upset about being lied to and them going behind our backs.



I have to ask. Why would you bring this family drama to a public bullentin board? :badpc:

jeannej

grimley1968
08-26-2005, 10:09 AM
No offense to the OP, but is there any way this thread can be locked soon? A lot of people, like myself, were empathetic with the OP and posted as sound of advice as we could. The OP virtually ignored it, still wouldn't face her sister directly about the perceived problem, and lo and behold, the sister was NOT at fault! I think the cliche "Mountain out of a molehill" might describe this whole farce of a thread, knowing the outcome of this. If the OP would have just talked to her sister before coming to a bunch of strangers for advice for a non-existant problem, this waste of time need not have occurred.

To attempt to hide how foolish she made herself look, I guess her husband, who apparently must also do her talking to her blood relative for her, her original post was edited, and subsequent ones.

I feel like an idiot for having posted in this thread earlier, to be honest, and I probably look like an idiot now for keeping it going on even longer with my post, even though I'm asking for it to be locked. This personal family matter really wasn't appropriate for the Disney Resorts forum, but I jumped into it like a lemming anyway, because I felt bad for the OP. I wish I had the ability to delete my own posts, so I could "recuse" myself from this, but I can't, so I'll have the virtual "Idiot" label on my virtual DIS forehead for eternity.

OP, please talk to your family, and this includes your sister. And I agree with the above poster that maybe some soul-searching on your part might be in order.

NCombs
08-26-2005, 10:13 AM
No offense to the OP, but is there any way this thread can be locked soon? A lot of people, like myself, were empathetic with the OP and posted as sound of advice as we could. The OP virtually ignored it, still wouldn't face her sister directly about the perceived problem, and lo and behold, the sister was NOT at fault! I think the cliche "Mountain out of a molehill" might describe this whole farce of a thread, knowing the outcome of this. If the OP would have just talked to her sister before coming to a bunch of strangers for advice for a non-existant problem, this waste of time need not have occurred.

To attempt to hide how foolish she made herself look, I guess her husband, who apparently must also do her talking to her blood relative for her, her original post was edited, and subsequent ones.

I feel like an idiot for having posted in this thread earlier, to be honest, and I probably look like an idiot now for keeping it going on even longer with my post, even though I'm asking for it to be locked. This personal family matter really wasn't appropriate for the Disney Resorts forum, but I jumped into it like a lemming anyway, because I felt bad for the OP. I wish I had the ability to delete my own posts, so I could "recuse" myself from this, but I can't, so I'll have the virtual "Idiot" label on my virtual DIS forehead for eternity.

OP, please talk to your family, and this includes your sister. And I agree with the above poster that maybe some soul-searching on your part might be in order.


Don't feel like an idiot. I just feel sorry for her sister and her family. :confused3

Gillian
08-26-2005, 10:16 AM
I always am interested in family drama and how people react to it. I'm an only child and when I hear about sisters/brothers/parents fighting it really surprises and upsets me.

You are lucky to have your family! Expect the best from them, and maybe you will get it. Love them! Forgive them! :grouphug:

Tara
08-26-2005, 10:24 AM
Some important lessons here:

1. There are ALWAYS at LEAST two sides to every story.
2. Never post something about someone in a public forum that you wouldn't be willing to say to their face.

That is all. Carry on. ;)

dreamangelx
08-26-2005, 10:46 AM
I noticed people keep saying this and it really doesn't make any sense to me. Posting to a forum doesn't require much time. She was in need of advice and maybe wanted more of it before she spoke to her sister about it. Posters keep saying what great advice the other posters give on these forums and IMO, its unfair to tell someone they need to get off the computer and call her sister. Maybe she hasn't thought of a way to approach it yet or maybe she hasn't found any advice that works with the type of person she is yet. Who knows? I just don't think its right for people to keep telling her to get off the computer and call her sister.


You can only be a doormat if you allow yourself to be a doormat!!!!

You need to stop posting this all over the DIS boards and call your sister.

PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!!!!

tekmom
08-26-2005, 10:51 AM
I'm glad everything worked out and hope the OP enjoys her trip. Maybe sis really wanted to stay at the Poly all along and knew what the reaction would be, so the story would just have to be "blame it on BIL, it was a surprise.." Regardless, enjoy your trip..you might have a better time not being with eachother every step of the way, anyway. :flower:

jonestavern
08-26-2005, 11:03 AM
I noticed people keep saying this and it really doesn't make any sense to me. Posting to a forum doesn't require much time. She was in need of advice and maybe wanted more of it before she spoke to her sister about it. Posters keep saying what great advice the other posters give on these forums and IMO, its unfair to tell someone they need to get off the computer and call her sister. Maybe she hasn't thought of a way to approach it yet or maybe she hasn't found any advice that works with the type of person she is yet. Who knows? I just don't think its right for people to keep telling her to get off the computer and call her sister.
::yes::
just one addenda:
IMHO, it's not so much not that it's not right, she did ask for an opinion, just not as helpful as she needed. Using the Dis as a sounding board rather than go off half-cocked, i think, is a better idea--
Have a great trip!
Jean

eeyore45
08-26-2005, 11:06 AM
I have to ask. Why would you bring this family drama to a public bullentin board? :badpc:

jeannej

Are you guys kidding me?

First off to Honeybug, thanks for the update, and I do hope you will continue to post and look for things here at the Dis to help your vacation be all that it can be!!

Good Grief, I can tell you its better to get it off your chest, reason around, and if you're lucky you have a freind to help you brainstorm - in this case lots of DISNEY friends!! then to jump on any poster, because you can?

I apologize to the moderators for getting too emotional! and ot

grimley1968
08-26-2005, 11:21 AM
::yes::
just one addenda:
IMHO, it's not so much not that it's not right, she did ask for an opinion, just not as helpful as she needed. Using the Dis as a sounding board rather than go off half-cocked, i think, is a better idea--


So are you saying that the alternative to using DIS resorts board to sort out her family problems is better than going off half-cocked? What is going off half-cocked? Talking to her sister in the first place about it? :confused3

To me, after seeing how little this "problem" really was, it could be considered going off half-cocked getting so angry about her sister on the DIS boards for no good reason. A simple conversation with her sister could have solved the whole misunderstanding.

Again, I mean no offense to the OP. I'm just a bit upset that all this good will was given by good people trying to help, and it was really kind of a waste for what it turned out to be.

gppnj
08-26-2005, 11:44 AM
I am hoping I can get some advice on some family drama. In October my husband and 2 little girls under 3 were going to take a vacation to Disney World with my sister, brother-in-law and 2 nieces under 3. We booked the trip on my sister's credit card. When we decided to take this trip we agreed that we were going to stay from Oct.1st-Oct.9 at the Pop Century in connecting rooms. This WAS supposed to be a cheap (since we booked because of the great dining package) and fun vacation for both families.

Huh? What's the problem?

jonestavern
08-26-2005, 11:47 AM
So are you saying that the alternative to using DIS resorts board to sort out her family problems is better than going off half-cocked? What is going off half-cocked? Talking to her sister in the first place about it? :confused3
To me, after seeing how little this "problem" really was, it could be considered going off half-cocked getting so angry about her sister on the DIS boards for no good reason. A simple conversation with her sister could have solved the whole misunderstanding.
Again, I mean no offense to the OP. I'm just a bit upset that all this good will was given by good people trying to help, and it was really kind of a waste for what it turned out to be.
1) by 'half-cocked" i mean a big nasty emotional scene with her sister. she seemed very upset to me. In that state it is easy to say what you'll soon regret! Not a good thing to 'talk' with someone without a clear perspective & the emotions running high. I think we all know she really needed a little venting, she was so hurt & angry. I don't at all mind
2)it was a good reason to her at the time & probably saved a lot of ill will between her & her DSis by getting other, uninvolved, viewpts. I thought all the advice given here good & some of it excellent! Some posters could be blossoming 'Dear Ann's"
3) I am sorry you feel like 'an idiot'--you were simply responding, in an honest manner, to OP's call for help & advice. Mountain or molehill, good intentions shouldn't make anyone feel foolish. I think it is a very nice thing that Dis'ers are so unselfish & take the time to offer suggestions & let others vent

Jean

minnie61650
08-26-2005, 12:01 PM
So are you saying that the alternative to using DIS resorts board to sort out her family problems is better than going off half-cocked? What is going off half-cocked? Talking to her sister in the first place about it? :confused3

To me, after seeing how little this "problem" really was, it could be considered going off half-cocked getting so angry about her sister on the DIS boards for no good reason. A simple conversation with her sister could have solved the whole misunderstanding.

Again, I mean no offense to the OP. I'm just a bit upset that all this good will was given by good people trying to help, and it was really kind of a waste for what it turned out to be.

The OP just needed some advice. I think she knew that maybe she wasn't thinking everything through and needed a little help from her Disney friends.
I do feel the community board would have been a better place to post this since it really had nothing to do with resorts.

I hope it all works out well for the Op and her sis and I'm glad she got so much Friendly and Helpful advice from her fellow Dis members. Reading this thread has helped me realize how wonderful and how caring the the people who post on this board really are.
Linda ::MinnieMo

WDW1st-timers
08-26-2005, 12:07 PM
Huh? What's the problem?




later on her hudband removed most of the post, so that's why your not getting the full story.

Goofyta
08-26-2005, 12:51 PM
my anal husband decided to edit the posts. Sorry!
I really HATE it when people take advantage of the edit feature. How are people supposed to know what is going on when the majority of the posts have been edited.

grimley1968
08-26-2005, 01:08 PM
I really HATE it when people take advantage of the edit feature. How are people supposed to know what is going on when the majority of the posts have been edited.

This is precisely why I only use it to correct grammatical or spelling errors myself. I'm always willing to stand by whatever I type in here, at least on the substance. I think maybe that's part of the reason deleting your own posts isn't an option: to force people to stand by their words, and therefore to think about what they're putting into those posts. In this case the edits look silly, because she is quoted quite often throughout the thread with her original posts.

This should be in the community forum now, or locked entirely. The original post is now moot.

OP: Can you maybe change the title of this thread to read other than "Sister switched resorts on me!"? We now know that is not the case, and people are coming across 9+ pages of advice that was not used and is unnecessary for this situation. People edit titles all the time to indicate their question has been answered or problem resolved. Since the "problem" is now resolved, I think it'd be nice if the title reflected that.