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View Full Version : Mean message from eBay bidder upsets me


maggiew
08-22-2005, 08:27 AM
I just need to vent a little. I received a mean message from a potential bidder and it has me a little upset because I really try to be a good seller.

This bidder emailed me a couple days ago and asked my policy on combining shipping. They didn't specify what items they wanted to combine, so I couldn't give an exact answer. I just said that I would box it up together and weigh it and see how much it weighs and base the cost on that. I usually only charge actual shipping (plus maybe a little - like for $3.85 priority mail, I charge $4).

Last night my auction ended. My brother and sister in law are visiting so I was not sitting at my computer when my auctions ended like normal. I did check my "My eBay" about an hour before the auction ended to see if there were any "Questions from Buyers". There were none. However, this potential bidder had sent me an email via their previous question, so it did not show up on the eBay page. I did not check my email, though, so I did not see their second question listing the 2 items they wanted to combine. So today, I receive an email from them saying something like, "You will notice that I didn't buy your items because you wouldn't give me a straight answer, which means that you must charge exhorbinant (sp?) handling charges. I sell on eBay myself so I know about sellers like you." :(

I was a little confused because I hadn't read their second question yet (my email lists newly received email at the top of the screen). So I responded back that I am an honest seller just trying to sell old clothes to make money for out Walt Disney World trip. I don't charge excessive handling fees (I often lose money on shipping. And I lose more with this new Paypal rule.) I tried to explain that I will charge actual shipping but I didn't know what items they wanted to combine so I couldn't give an actual price. I have 100% feedback and all of my feedback comments are great. (Good communication. Fast shipping. etc.)

Then I read their second question and I just replied that I hadn't read their second email since I have company and I am sorry I didn't respond before the auction ended.

I have put them on my blocked bidder list. I also know to check my email also before an auction ends - not just the "This item has a question" area on the MyEbay. But it makes me sad because I really try to be a good seller.

Thanks for just letting me vent.

Maggie

lmountford
08-22-2005, 09:02 AM
It sounds to me like you may have had a very narrow escape with that person. If they are that mean just about a question think how horrible it would be if they had won, claimed to be disatisfied and then were able to leave feedback !? I try to answer all questions as promptly as I can but I refuse to commit to being surgically attached to my keyboard like some whacky sci fi vision of future humanity, particularly for the benefit of meanies. Don't let them get you down :-)

~Kathie
08-22-2005, 09:08 AM
So today, I receive an email from them saying something like, "You will notice that I didn't buy your items because you wouldn't give me a straight answer, which means that you must charge exhorbinant (sp?) handling charges. I sell on eBay myself so I know about sellers like you." :(

I have put them on my blocked bidder list. I also know to check my email also before an auction ends - not just the "This item has a question" area on the MyEbay. But it makes me sad because I really try to be a good seller.


That was a nasty email!!!

Just because you didn't sit at the computer and "watch" your auctions close doesn't make you a BAD seller. You checked your auctions for last minute questions and didn't find any. Being a seller, that person should have known to ask questions early to give the seller enough time to answer.

Some people!!! Glad you blocked them.........I would have too. Who needs to deal with that???

:hug:

Shagley
08-22-2005, 09:13 AM
You did absoutely nothing wrong, but unfortunately there are some jerks out there who get their kicks out of trying to making other people feel bad. As hard as it is, try not to let it get to you - This sounds like a person who would find something to complain about no matter what the situation.

bettemom
08-22-2005, 09:17 AM
I just need to vent a little. I received a mean message from a potential bidder and it has me a little upset because I really try to be a good seller.

This bidder emailed me a couple days ago and asked my policy on combining shipping. They didn't specify what items they wanted to combine, so I couldn't give an exact answer. I just said that I would box it up together and weigh it and see how much it weighs and base the cost on that. I usually only charge actual shipping (plus maybe a little - like for $3.85 priority mail, I charge $4).

Last night my auction ended. My brother and sister in law are visiting so I was not sitting at my computer when my auctions ended like normal. I did check my "My eBay" about an hour before the auction ended to see if there were any "Questions from Buyers". There were none. However, this potential bidder had sent me an email via their previous question, so it did not show up on the eBay page. I did not check my email, though, so I did not see their second question listing the 2 items they wanted to combine. So today, I receive an email from them saying something like, "You will notice that I didn't buy your items because you wouldn't give me a straight answer, which means that you must charge exhorbinant (sp?) handling charges. I sell on eBay myself so I know about sellers like you." :(

I was a little confused because I hadn't read their second question yet (my email lists newly received email at the top of the screen). So I responded back that I am an honest seller just trying to sell old clothes to make money for out Walt Disney World trip. I don't charge excessive handling fees (I often lose money on shipping. And I lose more with this new Paypal rule.) I tried to explain that I will charge actual shipping but I didn't know what items they wanted to combine so I couldn't give an actual price. I have 100% feedback and all of my feedback comments are great. (Good communication. Fast shipping. etc.)

Then I read their second question and I just replied that I hadn't read their second email since I have company and I am sorry I didn't respond before the auction ended.

I have put them on my blocked bidder list. I also know to check my email also before an auction ends - not just the "This item has a question" area on the MyEbay. But it makes me sad because I really try to be a good seller.

Thanks for just letting me vent.

Maggie


They must be related to the buyer who just ripped me a new backside because SHE did not read the e-mail I sent her right after the auction ended, that combined shipping for multiple items. Instead she DEMANDS I ship each of her items in a separate box since I did not combine shipping. Hello !!!! ever hear of reading you EBAY mail 1st...

JerJan
08-22-2005, 10:32 AM
Just remember "YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT!" Add them to your blocked bidder list (like you did) and move on. Some people just can't be pleased!

MCazer
08-22-2005, 11:16 AM
Also, when replying back to a question from an ebay bidder, always mark the box so they can't see your email address. Then they can't email you directly, and must go through the ebay system. Then the questions will always show up there.

And also the box that sends a copy to your email address, so you have something to back you up later when they say you didn't email them back.

calypso*a*go-go
08-22-2005, 01:04 PM
Don't let it get to you. I'm sure it was someone that was just trying to save a buck or two on something they were probably wanting for pennies on the dollar anyway. Ebay definitely seems to bring out the worst in some people.

maggiew
08-22-2005, 03:05 PM
Thanks. I didn't know that if you checked the hide email thing that they would have to send through eBay. I will do that from now on.

This person was interested on bidding on a lot of 4 girls shirts (long sleeve for back to school) that I had starting bid $1.99. The shipping wasn't excessive either. Oh well.

Thanks for helping me feel better. I tend to take these things personally. I try to treat buyers like I like to be treated when I am a buyer. I email them when I receive their payment. I email them when I send out their package. etc.

Maggie

mrsmagic
08-22-2005, 06:51 PM
Last year I sold a signed copy of a book on Ebay. As I attached the shipping label, I notice that the buyer lives a couple houses down from a good friend of mine. I live in a city of probably 500,000 people, so this is a real coincidence.
I shipped it out the next day, but the buyer chose media mail rather than Priority mail to save money.
After 2 days, I get an email from her that was so mean I started to literally shake. She was threatening, has all kinds of mean words capitalized and in bold. She obviously knew that I lived in the same area, because she said "I know where you live and my package should be here by now..."
So, I tried to calm down, and sent an email back and said, "You chose media mail, so your package could take up to ten days... By the way, do you know my good friend ___________?" Well, she was mortified, because my friend lives 2 houses down and this is a small neighborhood. This nasty, terrible woman sure sang a different song after that! She apologized, her package arrived the next day, and she had the nerve to suggest that we get together sometime!
The icing on the cake was when she got her book, she stole MY photo and relisted it as if she had gotten it at the book signing that I went to! What a piece of work.
So, my long-winded point is that people who appear to be normal can turn into total monsters hiding behind their Ebay buyer status. My friend told me that this woman told her that she was really embarrassed by our little "miscommunication". I told my friend that this woman was really "not so nice" and that anyone who would send an email like that should look into anger management.

Take care, and be thankful that you are a nice, sensitive person. It might be hard to deal with the crazies, but its a way better way to live overall.
Also, by far the vast majority of buyers I've had have been really nice!

kilee
08-22-2005, 10:05 PM
Don't let that women bother you. There are all sorts out there. You will never be able to please everyone on ebay. I learned that awhile ago. I used to try to bend over backwards to do it. Also, think about bumping your shipping just a bit. There is absolutely no reason to lose money on the shipping.

bgula
08-22-2005, 10:58 PM
maggiew - What new Paypal rule are you referring to? It's been a couple of months since I've sold anything on Ebay and I'm not aware of any new rules. Could you elaborate please? Thanks!

nuke
08-23-2005, 08:40 AM
I've come to the conclusion that some people on ebay are real whack jobs. Just ignore it. I wouldn't have even emailed her back and it's good that you blocked her from bidding on your items.

starwood
08-23-2005, 08:59 AM
maggiew - What new Paypal rule are you referring to? It's been a couple of months since I've sold anything on Ebay and I'm not aware of any new rules. Could you elaborate please? Thanks!

Probably referring to the new rule that you can't use a personal Paypal account for auctions. You must use a business account and take credit cards.

maggiew
08-23-2005, 09:10 AM
Probably referring to the new rule that you can't use a personal Paypal account for auctions. You must use a business account and take credit cards.

Yes. That is what I am refering to. I used to accept Paypal, but balance transfers only (or whatever it is called). I did not accept credit cards. This was stated clearly in my auctions and I did NOT use the paypal logo. I just said in my auctions "I accept Paypal (no credit cards), money orders and personal checks." Then in my invoice, I would give my email address to the winning bidder. I understand the new policy because it was a little confusing to new bidders. I had to explain many times how to send the money without the Paypal link. But it always worked out in the end.

So now I use a business account and they take money out each time. Its only a little, but when you sell things for little money it takes a big bite out of any profit.

Kilee. I try not to lose money on shipping. :flower: Since I sell basically used clothes, I kind of know how much it will cost to ship. But sometimes I am surprised. LIke yesterday I sold a khaki long girls skirt. I put $3 for shipping First class. It was small enough that I could fit it in a large envelope. Well, it cost me like $3.60 or something. I think the denim like khaki made it heavier than I thought.

Maggie

ceecee
08-23-2005, 09:11 AM
I sold a $50.00 item (retail) had it listed for $24.99 w/$5.00 shipping and 2 people emailed me to say that was too high. I did a completed auction search before listing and went by that. Well it ended up selling within 3 days (buy it now) but the emails upset me as well.
I had a psycho lady CALL me a few years ago, demanding to know where her item was! I had shipped it the day after she paid (she waited 5 days to pay!) and this was the 6th day....since it went to CA (the opposite coast from me) and I did not charge enough postage, I mailed it parcel. When I told her since it was the beginning of Dec. things may be busy at PO she yelled that I should have mailed priority. I had only over charged .20 on the parcel postage, but that was scary! She was so out of control. She kept yelling the auction ended on this day....I tried to tell her I only ship when it PAID for but she just wouldn't listen.

DiscussDisney
08-23-2005, 09:34 AM
It is amazing to me how bold some of the ebay buyers are. If I get a buyer who curses at me in an email, I just send a copy of their email to the trust & safety department (there is an online form). I don't know if ebay does anything with the information, but it makes me feel better when I turn them in.

drakethib
08-28-2005, 10:09 PM
It sounds to me like you may have had a very narrow escape with that person. If they are that mean just about a question think how horrible it would be if they had won, claimed to be disatisfied and then were able to leave feedback !? I try to answer all questions as promptly as I can but I refuse to commit to being surgically attached to my keyboard like some whacky sci fi vision of future humanity, particularly for the benefit of meanies. Don't let them get you down :-)

Agree.

Meezers
08-28-2005, 10:42 PM
I hope you sold those items! Boy...what a psycho. Scary how something so nice as e-bay has now become a mine field to be navigated.

Guess this is one of those times you just have to say...."Glad I don't have to live in her skin."....