May 17 to 22, 2005: All days on one thread!

[Unichi]

Background

Jim, not his real name ("Can I use your real name for this?" "No, use 'Jim.'"), and I met as coworkers. Now we're best friends. We looked at each other and said, "Hey, let's go to Disney World."

About the Trip Report

Defensively, you won't find a play-by-play color commentary about our trip here. We took it easy on this trip: no day itinerary, no real plans. We swam a lot, cooked meals in our room, read books on the balcony. Some days we rolled in early, on others we rolled in around noon. We also had some business to conduct, so these unsavory details I've left out.

As a result, my memories of the trip are whittled down to key highlights that stand out. Yes, we rode Soarin', saw Philharmagic, and watched the Stunt show with great delight, but our foray into the new rides will probably not be mentioned here. We also indulged in all the classics, nighttime fireworks shows, and Pleasure Island, but how can I top the excellent reports of others who where there when we were?

So, my friends, the following are mere highlights from our trip. Enjoy!

Room

We stayed at a Boardwalk Villa Studio. We had a great room that overlooked the quiet pool and Community Hall. Although we did not have any views of fireworks, we did have Tower of Terror peaking above the trees in the distance. Because Jim dreaded anything that suggested "freefall," every time he looked out of the balcony at the Tower, you could swear you hear that "DUN-dun" noise from Law & Order, threatening him.

The studio was much larger than we expected. It did have a door that lead directly to the adjacent room, and although we didn't try to the door, the insulation was solid enough so that had we not seen their bathing suits drying out on their balcony chairs, we would've not known they were there.

Speaking of the balcony, it was lovely. We spent many an hour there, having toast and cereal, reading books, watching people lounging around the pool, and just sitting and staring out into the quiet night.

Yes, the sleeper sofa is comfortable. I slept on it for three of the days (Jim on the bed), we trade places for the other three. The rest of the time, it was kept folded up. I was secretly hoping to meet other travelers our age at the Villas and have them come over for a game of Scattergories and popcorn, because, admittedly, I'm ultra-competitive like that. In my mind's eye, we would lure them in with the promise of microwaved popcorn and a comfy seat on the sofa and then BAM! School supplies that start with W!

Unfortunately, the only newfound Villa friends we met were traveling in families of ten or more. Also, I was too chicken to actually ask friendly strangers to come over.

At this point in the report, I'd like to give a big hello to BethA. Hello!

[Unichi]

Day One at Animal Kingdom (plus its evening EMH)

It was the first time both of us had gone to the Animal Kingdom, even though we had been to the parks numerous times (probably over a dozen between the two of us). We had no real reason why this was so.

Imagine our surprise when what we thought was a cluster of small trees and maybe the token monkey turned out to be a lush landscape chockfull of tropical plants, gorgeous plains, and talkative animals. Songs of birds competed with the laughter of children, the humid scent of lands-ne'er-seen satisfied us as if we had eaten a Thanksgiving meal, and the thundering waterfalls demanded our attention.

Kilimanjaro Safaris

We rode this twice back to back because it was a no-wait experience. Ah, gotta love those Extra Magic Hours.

During the first round, everyone largely ignored the driver's attempt to point out a rare animal in the distance and instead was squarely focused on the giraffe that happened to be chomping away at a tree right next to the tour path. Imagine a tour group of about thirty, completely oblivious to the once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a rare mammal that probably emerged into the daylight only once a decade, staring at the butt of a giraffe poised only inches away from the tram. Imagine this entire group of thirty slowly rotating their heads as we pass by this majestic rear, moving at about 2 MPH. Imagine the man in the row in front of me with his video camera; his previewing screen entirely filled with the close-up zoom of this giraffe's behind and the gentle pan as he stays on this particular focal point as we gingerly make our way around the animal.

A giraffe's butt. Memories that family will cherish for a lifetime.

During the second trip, the following conversation ensued:

Woman in row behind us: [shouting to driver] Are those things real?
Driver: [off-mike] What things?
Woman in row behind us: [still shouting, although she is only two rows behind the driver] Those upside-down trees. I mean, they're huge! How on earth would you guys bring them here from Africa?
Driver: [still off-mike] Bring them from Africa? I don't understand. We are in Africa!

During both trips, with different drivers, the driver would point out, "To your right, you will see an example of the mighty water buffalo." We'd look out to the right to see one lone buffalo in the dead center of a swarm of vultures swirling around him, as if he was in the eye of a tornado. No ordinary vultures, these birds were large enough to ride on, and the dozens upon dozens that we would pass always prompted one passenger on each trip to relay the unanswered question: "What's up with all the vultures, man?"

Dinosaur

I have a trademark strong stomach. It really is trademarked: Unichi Strong Stomach (TM). This trademark entitles me to two things: the ability to indulge in spicy buffalo wings with extra hot sauce on the side and the knack on riding the wildest of coasters without recalling breakfast.

But in Dinosaur, I met the Unichi Strong Stomach (TM) nemesis: Iguanodon. You'd think my unrequited love for Bill Nye the Science Guy would have kept me alert and floating on Cloud Nine, but alas! This was not so.

I don't remember the last two minutes of the three-minute ride because I had my eyes shut and my hands gripping Jim's polo. I really did see my life flash before my eyes. Note to self: investigate why most of life's flashback dealt with baking pies.

Here's a sketch of the ride photo:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/unichi/disn2.jpg

[Unichi]

Day Two at Magic Kingdom (plus its evening EMH)

Splash Mountain

I am admittedly insecure about many things, but my arms? I never thought about them until they started making star appearances in key ride photos throughout the World. A roller coaster here, a test track there, save for Dinosaur (see above), all these photos did a grand job of doing one thing: demonstrating how my insanely long arms obstruct the faces of the people sitting in the row behind me.

Here's a sketch of the ride photo from Splash Mountain as an example:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/unichi/disn1.jpg

Again, I apologize to all.

Jungle Cruise

That morning, I had stopped on the Resort Events channel on the television. The screen announced "Pin Trading" and the ability to trade with any cast member wearing pins.

"Pin trading?" I huffed, arrogantly. "That's definitely for the hardcore Disney freak."

Fast forward a dozen hours later. Dusk has fallen on Adventureland, and strapped with EMH bands, we wait in line quietly at the Jungle Cruise. Standing along the line is a tall, lanky Asian male cast member, smiling shyly at everyone.

"Marry me!" I'm shouting. On the inside.

Suddenly I am daydreaming about me and that Asian dude getting hitched on the Jungle Cruise. The minister is also the cruise operator, so naturally he ends with the cheesiest line I could think of: "Take your wife, please!"

"Can I see your pins?" A voice suddenly snaps me out of the clouds.

I blink twice, as the woman in line in front of me continues. "I didn't realize you had pins." She wipes her hands of the last of the popcorn she had been snacking on.

"Oh yes, sure!" He steps toward her and draws his waist-hanging canvas bag to her outstretched hands. There are several pins dotted along the bag. Unfamiliar with pin trading, I have no idea if those pins are of any value.

"Interesting," she mutters, running her hands over the face of some pins, but nothing speaks to her. She lets go of the bag. "Thanks."

She got to touch him! It is not jealousy that I feel, but, rather, sheer awe, and I find myself wasting precious moments admiring her boldness than staring at the object of my newfound affection.

The line lurches forward, and we pass him. I am too shy myself to muster the courage to say anything, and I resign myself to the fact that we shall never be. Anonymous Asian dude is added to the list of unrequited loves, just above Bill Nye. (Sorry, Bill.)

It is that moment that I decide to become a pin trader. "So I can talk to the hotties!" I announce to Jim later that night.

Jim pats me on the head, knowing me too well to know that I will never talk to the "hotties."

[Unichi]

Day Three at Epcot (plus its evening EMH)

Epcot is my favorite park, hands down. Our favorite mementos from the trip come from this area of the park, primarily the online video of us being abducted by a cartoon alien (in the exit area of Mission Space) and our Kodak picture from Journey Into Imagination.

Jim: [moments ago, peering over the computer screen] You're not going to put that online, are you?
Me: Why not? It's a perfectly good picture.
Jim: [shrugging] Well, it makes us not so anonymous.
We both agree there should be some degree of anonymity when dealing with the Internet.
Me: What do you want me to do? Blank out our faces?
Jim: Yes.

So here's our Kodak picture from Imagination, with all involved parties protected from identification:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y254/unichi/disn4.jpg

By the way, I packed six different tops to wear during the trip, but I kept wearing the yellow polo pictured above pretty much all the time. By the end of the trip, I was able to wring the shirt to see sunscreen ooze out.

[Unichi]

Day Four at Disney-MGM Studios (plus its evening EMH)
Night Four at Pleasure Island

It was opening day of Star Wars weekends at Disney-MGM: in other words, it was Jim's favorite movie being celebrated at Jim's favorite Disney park. You'd think he'd be in his element, but all he graces is a look of determination and the words, "Let's just get this outta the way."

He leads us to Tower of Terror, to the building that had been teasing him from afar in the views from our balcony.

Tower of Terror

We return moments later with our FastPasses, and next thing we know, we are in line for the elevators. Since Jim is a big fan of thriller movies, it surprises me when I point out small details that I think he'd get a kick out of but he doesn't seem to hear....Instead, his face is stern, his line of sight focused on the closed elevator doors, and you can tell that the song "Eye of the Tiger" is playing somewhere in his head.

Ten minutes later, we are climbing out of the elevator.

"It wasn't as bad as I thought!" Jim says brightly. "But I know already that I will be afraid of it the next time I come through Orlando."

This was Jim's fourth or fifth ride down the broken elevator shaft. He has feared that first ToT ride of each visit.

He turns towards me, "So, you wanna go on it again?"

Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Star Wars Edition

There were only two Star Wars editions of the show being played that day, and we managed to make the second one. The seats were filled with hardcore Star Wars fans; most notably was one fan that was along the floor and would roar and pump his fists at every chance he could get. You'd think he was at a Big Ten football game, because I'm pretty sure he was close to ripping his shirt off.

One contestant who made it into the hot seat had come alone. He seemed like a private, quiet person and put up with the "you Star Wars fans are freaks" ribbing from the host, but he definitely knew his Star Wars trivia and this made it for a good show for all.

By the fifth question, I gave up answering. I enjoy the movies, but am not aware of the finer details that the other 599 members of the audience did, and although Jim attempted his best, he failed to place on the charts. So by the sixth question, we obnoxiously started yelling "All the way!" each and every time the contestant answered right.

And oh! Answer right he did! It was only minutes until he got to the final question: the million dollar question. Prior to the asking of this question, the crowd was going wild. We were going to see a bit of Disney theme park history!

The question was asked. I'm pretty sure if was said in Latin or some other dead language, because I couldn't even begin to decipher it. "E plurbis unim?" (When in doubt, I defer to our nation's mint.)

The crowd became so quiet, no audio assistance was really required to hear the young man's answer in his quiet confidence: "C. My final answer."

A collective gasp breathed from the mouths of the audience. Apparently, everyone else, except me, knew the answer was A.

His loss was simultaneously crushing and thrilling. But everyone cheered his efforts as if he had won the Rose Bowl, including the roaring man on the floor.

[Unichi]

Morning Five at Disney-MGM Studios
Afternoon Five at Epcot

Bahlsen Probiers in Germany (Epcot)

Our blood-sugar was low by the time we exited out of Impressions de France. During our French journey, it had rained, so when we came out, the air was thick with a familiar scent for us Chicagoans: the aroma of "summer humidity." This scent triggers cravings for Chicago hot dogs (with that lovely snap when you bite into them), for chocolate (more so than the average chocolate lover, as those who commute through the downtown Loop are familiar with the heavy smells of the local chocolate factories chugging away), and for the Billy Goat cheeseburger.

Hungry and with no Vienna beef hot dog cart in sight, we stopped by a sweets shop over in Germany, where we settled on a $4 (including tax) bag of Bahlsen Probiers, which were cookies and wafers. "Let's try something new," Jim had said, collecting the bag from its perch on the shelf.

Folks, this was the best bag of cookies ever. Some cookies were half-dipped in chocolate that was rich, but not overly sweet. Some cookies boasted of a fruit preserve. Some were sugar wafers that melted in your mouth.

And it fed us for hours! Considering just hours ago we dropped relatively the same amount for a couple of pastries that we shoveled into our mouths in moments, we thought it was a pretty good deal in the scope of Disney economics.

We are hoping to find another bag of it at the World Market store down the street from my place.

The Maelstrom at Norway (Epcot)

We rode the Maelstrom twice but watched the movie only the first time around. It was the first time in a long while that we had watched the Norway movie, and its contents were surprising and educational! Never mind that the movie never expounded on the myths, Viking stories, and oil industry glossed over on the water ride....More importantly:

Did you know Norwegians like to dance the ballet?
Did you know Norwegians like to work on computers?
Did you know Norwegian school children like to tease each other?
Did you know Norwegians like to model?

Why, Norwegians are just like us!

[Unichi]

Day Six at Disney-MGM Studios

Our bags had been packed and stored with the bellhop, and we had checked out of the Villas. It was our last day in Orlando.

Catching me admiring the Mickey pin again, Jim asks, "Are you going to trade it?"

Back on Friday, I'd finally found the perfect pin. I had told myself that I wasn't going to start a collection: I am not a pin collecting kind of girl. Instead, I was going to purchase one pin and one pin only, just so I had a catalyst to talk to the gorgeous (and otherwise completely unapproachable) male cast members who adorned their own pin sets.

The pin featured an old-skool Mickey, grinning from each to ear. At the pin booth, I'd discarded the plastic holder at the register and pinned it onto my bag right away: I was ready to start talkin' to some hotties!

But from that very moment on, I found myself enjoying the pin too much. Why oh why did I take such great care in picking it out? I couldn't just trade it away for a flashy smile. "Pins before bros," as they say, right?

"Darn pin! I've grown attached to this pin," I sigh, pretending to be cross with myself. But on the inside, I'm thinking, "Man, this pin rocks!"

It sits on my kitchen bulletin board today, my only souvenir from this trip. A small pin, but worth the flood of memories it triggers.

[Nanajo1]

A great report. I liked reading it from beginning to end. Thanks for posting.

[jugglinfish]

Thanks for posting the report. I'd have played scattegories with you! Love that game. Glad you had a fun time at WDW.

[Catrin]

Great FUN FUN report!

I think all reports from now on should come with illustrations! Sounds like you had a FUN time.. and I am glad that you got yourself a Pin!
Catrin

[Carol Ann]

Thanks for sharing - love your writing style! Sounds like y'all had a good time.

[eeyore45]

Love your report...

except... now I want a Vienna Hot dog, with GREEN relish, oh and a cheeseburger from Billy Goats... Coke....

:banana:

:moped:

[ktglads]

OMG - I was at that WWTBAM show with the crazy guy in the wheelchair section. I was scared for the host for a moment or two there when he mispronounced something. I think that guy was ready to charge at any point in time. Definitely made the show MUCH more interesting!

[jzmom]

Great Report!
It was fun to read :p

[dizneycc]

Great report! Thanks so much for sharing. Your drawings made me laugh out loud!!! :rotfl:

[pilgrimage]

What a refreshing description of your trip. (And I like the yellow polo shirt. Isn't it funny how we wear 20 % of our clothes 80% of the time).

[Melissa]

I Liked your sketches. My Dh and I were just co workers and friends once too. I thought you and "Jim' looked good together what I could see of you anyway. Great report! Thanks.

[Cinerama]

Loved it-thanks for writing!

[Nanabug02]

That was a GREAT trip report! I loved all the sketches you did....they made me crack up! :rotfl2:

[Alice28]

You are one funny gal! :rotfl2: Very amusing T.R.! Thanks! :teeth:

[MagicalMom]

I loved your report! :teeth:

[Michelle2]

I loved your sketches...especially the Dinosaur one. My son kept asking me what I was laughing at!

[MickeyDee]

LMAO! I adore your sense of humor and you are an amazing illustrator! hehe Thanks for the report!

[MagicalMom]

I Liked your sketches. My Dh and I were just co workers and friends once too. I thought you and "Jim' looked good together what I could see of you anyway. Great report! Thanks.


Good friends do make great spouses don't they?? :cloud9: Hint Hint... :rolleyes1

[dmhickox]

Great report. Loved the drawings! :laughing:

[kellyla]

I loved your report and the sketches were hilarious! :rotfl:

[Disneyrsh]

Yeah, that's how pins start-just get one special one that jumps out at you.

Me, three years later, now totes around 4 lbs of clanking metal around my neck and glares at anyone who comes up and wants to trade, grumping at them "I just collect!"

I claim it is an excuse not to carry a purse because I put my room key, tickets and credit card in the holder at the end of the lanyard, but now the lanyard far outweighs any purse I have.


One of the best and funniest trip reports I've read in a long time. You should write for a living-I do, and you're good enough to too.

Unless, as I suspect, you're a computer geek like my husband-his artistic talents are subsumed by his stupendous geek talents...

[WeLoveThePoly]

Thanks for posting your trip report and drawings - hysterical! :rotfl:

[Unichi]

I'd have played scattegories with you! Love that game.
jugglinfish, it is for this reason that I no longer call you my fellow DIS comrade, but, rather, I call you my friend, for it takes a special someone to understand the pure, unadulterated joy that is Scattergories.

Love your report...except... now I want a Vienna Hot dog, with GREEN relish, oh and a cheeseburger from Billy Goats... Coke....
eeryore45, YES, you are correct! Green relish! You have passed Part One of a two-part secret test of authenticating a Chicagoan. The other is the handshake, but, honestly, I've already shared too much.

OMG - I was at that WWTBAM show with the crazy guy in the wheelchair section. I was scared for the host for a moment or two there when he mispronounced something. I think that guy was ready to charge at any point in time. Definitely made the show MUCH more interesting!
ktglads, you were there, too! Neat! Wasn't that guy intimidating? He was short of slathering up in body paint like those diehard college football fans.

I, too, feared for the life of the host when he mispronounced one of the Star Wars phrases. My first thought when the crowd reacted was, "Don't just sit there: RUN!"

Were you also there at Rock 'n' Roller Coaster when the woman passed out in front of the line from heat exhaustion? That scene was similarly frightening to watch.

Isn't it funny how we wear 20 % of our clothes 80% of the time.
pilgrimage, is that stat true? Because that would explain a lot about my wardrobe habits. I love a good stat, because I use 'em as seemingly legitimate arsenal when people confront me about questionable habits.

Applicable example:

Them: Seriously, why do you keep wearing that yellow polo? You've been wearing it every day since March 3rd.
Me: Why not? According to a trusted source, we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time.
Them: [scoffing] And who is this "trusted source?"
Me: [my standard answer, even if the "trusted source" is the neighborhood girl scout selling cookies] Why, the New York Times, of course!

I loved your sketches...especially the Dinosaur one. My son kept asking me what I was laughing at!
Michelle2, I bet it was your son sitting behind us. NO FEAR, I tell you!

My Dh and I were just co workers and friends once too. I thought you and "Jim' looked good together what I could see of you anyway.
Good friends do make great spouses don't they??
Melissa and MagicalMom, I will respond to this in the most mature manner possible: Groooooooss.

Me, three years later, now totes around 4 lbs of clanking metal around my neck and glares at anyone who comes up and wants to trade, grumping at them "I just collect!"....the lanyard far outweighs any purse I have.
Disneyrsh, that heavy lanyard comes in handy. Pirates who need to ensure their treasure chest sinks to the bottom of the ocean simply attach their pin-laden lanyard to their booty. By the way, it is this very idea that is being heavily promoted by Disney marketers in this month's issue of "Pirates Monthly." (I'm pretty sure it's you in the ad, but your secret's safe with me. Nice skull tattoo, by the way, but it is in a complete inappropriate place.)

To everyone else, thanks for your compliments on the illustrations!

Me: [moments ago, on phone] Hey, Jim. They like the illustrations.
Jim: [surprised] Oh, yeah? Do they think I'm good lookin'?
Me: [annoyed] It's a freakin' illustration, not "Am I Hot or Not," Jim!
Jim: [noises of flipping through phonebook] I'm ordering Chinese, what do you want?

[ktglads]

I missed the woman passing out at RNRC, but I did see 2 women within 30 feet from one another both pass out when I was there in December. Now that was weird and scary.

But that guy at Millionaire was so funny. I was truly expecting him to rush the stage. He was practically shaking the entire time. That was definitely a time that I was VERY happy to be in the top row, far, far away!

[Disneyrsh]

We were there from the 20th to the 26th, and we did see our first passed out person from the heat-she was over by the cheesy Stitch ride. It may have BEEN from the ride, but I doubt it. My overly dramatic friend who was with us looked miffed that she hadn't thought about passing out first. That's the first time in tons of trips I've ever seen anyone passed out.

Our dramatic friends were in the same audience as you and did the 'oooohhhhhh' thing as well when the guy answered wrongly.

[jcsbama]

Very entertaining trip report. I loved reading it. You have a very good talent.

To your defense, I have to ask...what can't a male/female friendship ever be just "friends" to the rest of the world? I have worked with several people over the years that would be close friends with another co-worker that was of the opposite gender. Rumors would fly about affairs, hints about dating, you name it. People in general seem to have a hard time grasping that concept. Not trying to be negative, I just seem to come across that way at times (see, that's why I won't write a good trip report, no talent). Anyways, Good for you and "Jim" that y'all have such a great friendship.

Unwarranted advice from a total stranger that knows absolutely nothing about you, "Jim" and your friendship...never compromise the friendship because a boyfriend/girlfriend "doesn't get it" or gets jealous, they wouldn't be the right one anyway if they can't handle you being friends with someone else.

[krismom]

You are my kind of woman! I loved your drawings, sooo much better than the actual photos! Thanks for the trip report, it was a fun read!
:cool1:

[lynn71092]

I loved your report. It was great. But this darn computer at works blocks out everything so I'm not able to see the pictures. And I loved it all being on one thread. You're very lucky to have a good friend like Jim. He sounds like a fun guy. :wave:

[bjakmom]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: - thanks. . . I really needed a good laugh tonight ! :smooth:

[Clevera]

Hi neighbor! :wave2: All this time you were borrowing my can opener and quarters for the laundry and it turns out you were also on DIS? :teacher: :rotfl2: LOL!!! Thanks for telling me about the report! It was funny! I wonder about those vultures too. We're going out to BWV soon! We are renting but I think we might buy into DVC! (OT: Are you renewing your apt lease?)

Hi everybody! Unichi asked me if I was on DIS because I had a pair of pink CROCS on! :rotfl2: And she was right! LOL!!! You should have seen the look on her face! You would've thought I smelled like a stinky onion! I think it's safe to say she's not a big fan of pink crocs. :teeth: And yes Jim is quite handsome! He is an actor!

[SlightlyGoofy]

I fear you are an evil woman, funny, but evil. :banana:

I have now added a bag of cookies from Germany to my list of new things to try. And this after working so darned hard to get nearly 90 pounds off my bod. Bet they are worth it though. Maybe if I jog around the WS a few times I can safely consume a cookie (crumb).

After reading this report I bet everyone will wanna join you for some popcorn and games on your next trip even if you do beat us all. Would be fun losing to you and Jim. :wave:

Slightly Goofy

[kaylie&laurensmom]

Just wanted to add my compliment - you are a GREAT writer! It's not very often I laugh out loud when reading DIS boards. Thanks for the review! :cheer2:

[lovmy2girls]

:rotfl: The front of my shirt is soaked in tears I have laughed so hard and loud, my girls are a little worried! :rotfl: This is the best trip report I have read in a long time, not since the Polkanesian review a few years back have I been so dehydrated while sitting at the computer reading:rotfl2: I going to get some liquids from the fridge.

Glad you had a great time and sharing it with us :goodvibes