A Sensible Dinner - Pearlieq's Journal

[Amy&Dan]

I love Wendy's too! And every darn time I sub a baked potato for fries, they still give me the fries. And I have to eat them! I am impressed, you saved your potato for today, I woudl have probably eaten both at once! I am going to try those salads from McD's very soon. That Asian one sounds really good. That is so awesome that your dh's got a winning ticket and you guys can go out on the winnings! Your food looked good, great job not eating the whole sleeve of Thin Mints!

[pearlieq]

2/29/08 - Happy Leap Day!

9:30am

--1 mini bagel w/neufchatel
--1 YoKids yogurt cup

OK, way too much rich food last night and way too close to bed, it turns out. I woke up the middle of the night with bad acid. I guess it's going to take a while to learn how to live with this. To be honest I haven't been viewing it like it's "real". I figured we'd just get this flare up under control and then pretend it never happened or something. I guess not, though. I guess this is going to be part of my life now.

Even though I've been happily married for almost 7 years, I have this overwhelming desire to propose to someone today, just because it's leap day. Any takers? :rotfl:

2:45pm

--6 Sun Chips

I think I might have eaten something around noon too, but I'm not sure and if I did I can't imagine what. Hmmm

3:40pm

--1 mini cheese rice cake
--1 mini bagel w/neufchatel & sm amount jam
--1 full bowl Honey Nut Cheeios w/1% milk

My day is done, yay! My meetings actually went quite well this afternoon and closed a long and tedious project, so it was nice to wrap that up and get it off my desk. I need to brainstorm some easy quick lunches as I've noticed that I haven't eaten proper meals during the day for the last couple of days. Nibbling on snacks and cereal is not really the best plan.

6:15pm

--1/2 large piece garlic cheese bread
--1/2 piece lasagna w/meat sauce
--1/2 piece regular garlic bread

Yum! I really love this local Italian place. And, best of all, they deliver! I usually don't stop at 1/2 a piece of the garlic cheese bread, so that's cool. Also, I found that if I have Cherry Coke Zero, I'm not tempted to get the "real" Coke. So, double score!

8:00pm

--large chocolate chip cookie
--2 cups milk

This cookie wasn't even good. Why, oh why, did I finish it?

10:00pm

--the other half of my dinner

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

Great job at stopping with the cookies and ice cream after you had enough. As for the heartburn, I think you will figure it out soon through trial and error. Once you know what sets it off most then you will be able to work around it so that it isn't a problem and I think you settle into new patterns easily enough. After all, your in this to become healthier so I know you will adapt quickly.

Actually today was the first time I had ever heard of women proposing to men on Leap Year Day. Where I have been for the last 10 leap years?:confused3

Have a wonderful day!::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!

Way to go on eating a smaller portion of the cheese bread and substituting your cokes.:banana: Hey, when you figure out what quick and easy lunches you can do, please let me know, I get in such a rut and think that is part of my problem.

WISHing you a great weekend!::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

3/1/08 - Finally March

9:00am

--1 Egg McMuffin
--1 McD's Yogurt Parfait

Regular Saturday morning at my mom's. She started not feeling very well toward the end, but she thought it was just a reaction from taking her medicine on an empty stomach.

12:40pm

--1/2 order hummus w/flatbread
--1 piece sourdough w/butter
--2/3 Thai Chicken Pizza

2:30pm

--1 box Milk Duds

Lunch and a movie with my friend. We had a great time catching up and we saw Juno. I had already seen it once and I'm so glad I saw it again. It is such a great movie, in every way. I heartily recommend it to anyone.

5:00pm

--6 Cinnabon Minis

To be honest, this wasn't really necessary. They weren't even very good. I should have stopped after the first couple, but I finished my whole order.

New thing to work on--letting go of food!

9:00pm

--footlong Subway meatball sub
--1 pkt Cool Ranch Doritos

I'm so worried. I came home from hanging out with my friend to find out my mom had gotten really sick with what she thinks might be the flu. I have no idea how she's going to be, and I'm terrified we're going to get a middle of the night call to take her to the ER.

Neither she nor her roommate have the constitution to deal with the flu. When you hear on the news of people dying from the flu, it's people like my mom. She doesn't appear to be in any kind of serious condition now, but that kind of thing is always in the back of my mind. I feel so bad for how awful she must feel and I wish there was something I could do other than wait on pins and needles.

[Lesli54]

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood....!:cool1: Time to dawn those sun glasses, how cool is that? Well, at least for a day anyway.

Sorry to hear about your mom not feeling well. I hope she gets better soon so that you can ease your mind. Hey, great choice on your breakfast. It is so hard to find a balance in fast food because of the limited menu. BTW, when you figure out how to let go of food, let me know.;)

I hope that you get a chance to enjoy the day!

[pearlieq]

3/2/08

8:00am

--1 1/2 pieces Thai Chicken Pizza
--1 piece sourdough w/1 pkt butter

We were supposed to go to brunch with friends today, but DH is just too sick. No need to be out there sharing germs with everyone. As it was, it was probably better that we didn't go. I had to go to my mom's and help her out this morning. She was feeling better, mercifully, so I hope this will be over soon.

Shall we start a pool for when my turn will come? I'm thinking Tuesday-ish, myself.

12:45

--3 thin mints

Not a great choice, really. I was very hungry and wanted lunch, but I was tired and harried and nothing looked good. So I had this and then went back to running errands.

2:30pm

--1 pkt gummy bears

Aren't you impressed by all the lean protien, fiber, and vitamins? I was too. I grabbed these at the CVS while I was picking up Diet 7-Up for DH.

I had to make a run back to Lane Bryant this afternoon. I had gotten a pair of their new Right Fit jeans in the dark rinse. I really liked them, except for this hideous chemical smell they had on them. I thought it was just from being in the store and that it would wash out, but no luck. I washed them at least 3 times--I even tried vinegar and fabric softener. They still smelled bad. DH said they smelled like Nair. My friend has a pair too and her husband said they smelled like gunpowder.

Anyway, I had to take them back to the store. I guess they were aware of the issue and it was only a problem with the dark rinse. They swapped mine for a pair of the lighter jeans and all seems well.

3:30pm

--1 full bowl Honey Nut Cheerios

DH isn't looking so great. He's definitely got a fever, and he's pretty much been sleeping all day. He did have an appetite, so I fixed him some chicken soup. I made the Aldi chunky chicken soup and it looked and tasted amazing! I was very impressed and will definitely be getting more.

I've got a taste for Chinese food, so I think we'll be ordering in tonight. The plus side to that is that I'll definitely be getting some veggies finally!

6:00pm

--small chicken w/peapods
--white rice
--taste of DH's beef & broccoli
--2 fortune cookies

Starving!

10:00pm

--2 sf milanos dipped in hot fudge

I'm soooooo hungry again. Crazy as it may sound, we ordered a pizza. It should be here soon and I'm trying to hold out, but I'm starving again!

10:35pm

--2/3 of my half of a medium thin crust cheese pizza

OK, many people won't get this, but it's just totally amazing that I didn't eat all of my half. As sure as the sun comes up in the morning, I'm good for eating my half of the pizza. No questions asked.

Actually stopping myself from finishing it up was a pretty big thing for me. I stopped when I was satisfied and didn't eat the rest just because it tasted good or to have it gone. I'm happy!

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq~

How is your mom doing? Your DH? This flu bug that has been going around is a tough one. I was sick for two weeks with it. My DH was only sick with it for 48 hours. Thank God that my DDs didn't get it when we had it. I was sure they would get sick next, but they didn't. :goodvibes

Great job on the pizza yesterday!:thumbsup2 I love cheese pizza!!!:love:

Hope you have a wonderful week!:hug:

[goldcupmom]

Sounds like you are becoming much more aware of food that is 'worth it' & food that's not. That's a good step!!!!

Hope your mom is ok & DH, too!! With any luck you won't get it.

I bought Hummus...haven't tried it yet. At TJ - Spicy & olive. Looks kinda gross!:eek: Getting up my courage......:rolleyes1

Hope this week goes well & you stay well!!

[wilderness01]

Hey there Pealieq, how are you? I hope your mom and husband start feeling better. It has been a longgggggggggggg, cold, snowy winter around here. Here's hoping for Spring soon. Take care.

[pearlieq]

3/3/08

8:00am

--3 1/2 squares of cheese pizza

I was quite hungry when I woke up this morning. I thought I was feeling a little iffy last night, but I feel just fine this morning, so maybe all the pestilence will pass me by. I can hope, right?

DH seems to be doing a lot better today, but he insisted on going to work, which I'm not crazy about. He said he would come home early, but I'll be stunned if I see him before 5pm tonight. I wish he would slow down and take better care of himself. I realize he has a big, important job, but for as much as I respect his contributions, I'm sure the world would keep spinning if he took a day off to rest and recuperate. Somehow we'd all survive if he made sure he got a decent lunch everyday. I know I'm his wife and not his mother, but I still worry.

My mom seems to be doing better. No midnight phone call, so that's always a plus!

Goal for today: Meals. Actual balanced meals, not cereal and rice cakes and thin mints at odd intervals. That's not asking too much, is it?

11:10am

--1 cup beef fried rice
--1/2 cup peas
--1 apple
--1 light yogurt cup

Early breakfast, early lunch. Behold! Grain--check! Protien--check! Vegetable--check! Fruit--check! Dairy--check! Why, I swear that looks like a meal!

1:30pm

--7 rf Triscuits
--1 oz neufchatel
--2 mini boxes raisins
--large handful baby carrots

Hungry again. I'm starting to suspect a tapeworm or something.

This day didn't end well. I ate chips, the rest of the fried rice, the rest of the Thin Mints, and then had a full meal from Portillo's for dinner. Ugh.

[pearlieq]

Hey there Pealieq, how are you? I hope your mom and husband start feeling better. It has been a longgggggggggggg, cold, snowy winter around here. Here's hoping for Spring soon. Take care.

Hi! :wave: Great to see you!

I totally agree about this winter--it has been a doozie. I can't recall so much cold or snow in a long time. I really think we've turned the corner, though. I can feel spring in the air!

I hope all is well with you. Take care!

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: You are really doing well with analyzing what you are eating. Next time you get those mini things from Cinnabon and they aren't good, you'll know to stop because they arent' worth it! Thats a huge step. And I so get your being happy at only eating 2/3 of your half of the pizza. Anytime I can stop myself from eating all of something that I really love, it feels so good.

I am so glad your husband and mom are feeling better. That is the last thing your mom needs right now! I am keeping my fingers crossed you don't get this bug too!

Your food looked really good today, way to go getting all those food groups in!

[toystoryduo]

I'm glad to hear that your mom and DH are feeling better.:goodvibes

Hope you have a great day today!:hug:

[pearlieq]

3/4/08

9:00am

--1 bacon, egg, & cheese bagel
--1 order hotcakes
--1 small orange juice
--2 bites hash brown

This just sounded so good this morning, though it was too much. At least I realized the hash brown didn't taste too good after I took a couple of bites, so I got rid of it.

This did not wind up being a great day. I skipped having a decent lunch and wound up eating a bunch of junk instead. Dinner wasn't stellar, but wasn't too outrageous either. Too many snacks and desserts, though. This is not one for the highlight reel...

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: Tomorrow is a new day! Some days just start out tough and unravel from there. I had that same sort of fast food breakfast a few weeks ago, its my big temptation in life, so I can relate! Good job tossing the hash browns, that's what we call progress! Hang in there, tomorrow will be better. :hug:

[pearlieq]

3/6/08

10:15am

--1 yogurt cup

Busy morning. I had to get up and get the cats off to the vet for their teeth cleaning and had to get all the clutter picked up around the house for the cleaning people this afternoon. Plus I have a doctor appointment late this morning and a crazy deadline at work. Aah!!

Yesterday was not the best day. I kind of went on a bender for a couple of days, but regrouped pretty well last night and even cooked dinner in--that's pretty good for us.

I'm feeling a little better today and not so inclined to go crazy. I wonder why it comes and goes like that?

12:50pm

--1 12" sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub
--1 handful baby carrots
--1 apple

Starving!

4:30pm

--the end of a bag of Starburst Jelly beans--1/2 cup or so?

I love these things. They're just so wonderfully flavorful. I treated myself to a bag here during the Easter season.

7:00pm

--1/2 cheese pizza
--1/2 order garlic breadsticks.

The garlic breadsticks weren't all that great. Did I stop? Alas, no. Someday, right?

I think I had a sugar free popsicle later on. The lifesavers ones are really tasty!

[Lesli54]

Good evening, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

Well, you are not the only one who has some not so good eating and water drinking days. But the plus is that you pulled it together and are continuing to move on. We have done this before and we can do it again!:cheer2:

Congrats on stopping before finishing your half of the pizza. I know that is a big goal for you and it is great that you felt satisfied and weren't forcing yourself to stop. What a great sign!:worship: It is also great to hear that you are focusing on trying to get in some real meals (even if it does mean cooking in:lmao: ). Personally, I am still working on balance, but hey we can figure this out, right?

I am with you on the Starburst jelly beans. You can mix them in so many ways to create some wonderful flavors. We pretty much limit ourselves to the one bag a year at Easter. Hope your evening is a good one.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I wish I could answer why the ability to manage food well comes and goes! I struggle with that myself, all the time. I think you just have to really examine what is making you stay on track, and then channel that knowledge into power the next time a tough day comes up. I think the fact you got back on track after such a short time of being off track is very positive. I hope you have a great weekend! Good job cooking at home (another thing I struggle with all the time!)

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq! Time to start a new day and keep on striving for health!:yay:

I hope that your day went well yesterday and am hoping for an even better day for you today. ::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[toystoryduo]

Good morning pearlieq~

Hope you had a good weekend and that you have a great week ahead!:hug:

[pearlieq]

Whew! It's been a busy few days. Friday we were judging a high school business competition which is tough work, but inspiring.

The weekend is mostly a blur of taking care of mom's stuff and dealing with DH, who was sick yet again. He seems to be a on a 3 on, 3 off plan at the moment. He's sick for a couple of days, better for a couple of days, then sick all over again. Hopefully this is it for a while.

Meanwhile, Diana and Magellan had to go in to get their teeth cleaned ($$$), and while they were there they found a kidney infection in Diana. So, they send her home with antibiotics. All goes well for about a day, then someone (we assume her) starts getting sick at night. And, of course, she stops eating. She's been doing this on and off for the past several months. The first time she starved herself down to about 6 1/2 pounds! She got back to about 8 1/4 lb, but now she's down in the high 7's again. I don't know what we're going to do with her. I have an anorexic cat. :rolleyes:

And on the topic of teeth, I got myself together at the end of last week and finally made a dental appointment to deal with a problem tooth. I get there and find out that not only is the problem tooth missing a chunk (necessitating a crown), but that I also have 6 other small cavities and the beginnings of gum disease. Lovely.

So, I go on Monday to get the gum cleaning, 2 of the fillings, and the crown prep done. I don't normally mind the dentist too much, but the drilling kind of got to me this time. Plus, the pain meds didn't quite numb me the first time around, so I felt some of the drilling. The dentist stopped and gave me more medicine right away, but I was paranoid after that and had a hard time relaxing. It was not exactly a barrel 'o laughs. My mouth was really sore last night after the anesthetic wore off.

Also in there, I saw the counselor I started seeing when mom got sick. I'm really glad I started going, because there's now way I could have dealt with everything that happened with my mom, becoming her caregiver, and DH's mom's illness and death without some professional help!

I don't see her as frequently anymore since I've learned to deal with my mom's stuff, but I still check in every once in a while. We were talking this time about my weight and a the general feeling of directionlessness/purposelessness I feel very often. She mentioned that I say "no" a lot, mostly to myself. She's totally right. I'm always saying no--it's almost always my first answer to anything.

I think it cuts me off from a lot, but it also causes problems with my food and weight. Food is one of the only things I say "yes" to, and I say "yes" way too much. I say "no" to going out, to treating myself to something, to doinig things, but "yes, yes, yes" to cookies. I won't let myself spend $20 on a manicure, but I'll spend $20 on a pizza without thinking anything about it.

She suggested that maybe learning to say "yes" to the world and myself a little more might help me to stop compensating for feeling deprived, bored, and unengaged by saying "yes" to food. It's a big, compelling idea to think about.

[pearlieq]

3/11/08

8:00am

--2 pieces cheese pizza
--1 garlic breadstick

10:00am

--large slice raspberry coffee cake

Not a great start to the morning at all. Leftovers from the previous night's bender.

2:30pm

--2 single bags Ruffles
--many, many frosted animal cookies

Still doing good.

6:00pm

--1 ham steak
--large bowl macaroni & cheese
--1/2 pkt baby vegetables.

7:45pm

--1 cup Grand Light ice cream.

Not a great day at all. I wasn't really thinking about what I was eating or even eating proper meals. It was just a full day of irresponsible self indulgence.

At least we cooked dinner in tonight. And I didn't get sugar soda. That's about the best I can say.

I'd like tomorrow to be a lot better. I suppose that needs to start with a decent breakfast and keeping on top of journaling. It's so easy to let that go, especially when I'm letting myself go. I need to stay comitted to journaling, even when things aren't going well at all.

10:30pm

--1 french bread pizza

[pearlieq]

3/12/08

9:15am

--1 PB&J on wheat
--small handful Sun Chips

It's going to be an annoying day at work. We have these reports we pass back with another team and for some reason they're allowed to sit on them for weeks, but when they come back to us for our turn, there's a big fire drill and we're given a ridiculously short timeline. Ugh. :rolleyes:

I'm going to have a big salad with grilled chicken for lunch--I'm really looking forward it. Yum!

1:00pm

--the aforementioned big chicken salad

This was good, but not as wonderful as I'd been hoping. Oh well. I found I don't like the fake "grill" taste on the grilled chicken strips and have to remember to buy the oven roasted kind next time. I think tomorrow I'm going to try to make an Asian chicken salad with mandarin oranges, almonds, crunch noodles, and sesame dressing. I hope it's good.

2:30pm

--at least a dozen frosted animal cookies

This was stress and anger. I'm having a crappy day at work and one of the guys our team has to work with is just full of inappropriate requests. We have an online repository of documents that we all work with, becuase the files we have are huge and it's best to keep them in one central spot. I finished my part and sent this guy a notice that it was done and it was time to do his part. He send me back an email and wants me to send him the file. Hello??? I'm not your secretary. The rest of us use the central file repository--why should I have to take time out of my day to pull the file down, zip it, and mail it to him just be cause he doesn't like using the file bank. That's not my problem.

If it were just the odd request, it wouldn't be a problem, but we're getting all kinds of pressure from them to do things that aren't our job--things they should be doing. So it makes small things like this just that much more irksome.

I didn't handle it well. First I ate a bunch of cookies, but that didn't make him go away. Then I wound up being passive-aggressive about it. I sent him the file, but I sat on his request for almost 3 hours even though I could have done it right away. I'm not proud of that. I just don't know if I'd get any support if I pushed back. It seems so petty, but I'm really annoyed.

4:30pm

--1 small bowl honey nut Cheerios.

I was kind of between munchy and hungry when I got this. I thought I'd try the small bowl and see if it would satisfy me. I told myself I could always get seconds if I wanted it.

Right after I sat down with this, Magellan jumped up on the kitchen counter and started licking my salad plate from lunch. So, I got up to shoo him down and figured that was as good a time as any to start a load of dishes. I forgot all about my cereal! Which I guess was my first clue that I didn't really need it.

It was pretty mushy by the time I got back to it.

DH called and said he was on his way home and offered to treat us to Dairy Queen tonight. Hopefully I'll find something tasty but not too outrageous. Maybe I'll see if he wants to go to the library or something afterwards. I wouldn't mind a change of scenery tonight.

5:40pm

--2 DQ double cheeseburgers
--1/2 of DH's fries
--small dipped cone

I probably had no business ordering 2 doubles. They weren't that big, but I probably should have stuck with singles. They weren't bad, though. I did resist eating the bread that came with DH's meal and I got a small ice cream.

After dinner we were going to go play bingo at a local American Legion, but we didn't get farther than the door. Even though IL went smoke free on Jan 1 (yay!) this place was either ignoring the rule or still suffering from years of smoking patrons. We opened the door and the cigarette smoke just hit us like a wall! We turned right around and hightailed it out of there. I think we'll look for somewhere else to play.

8:00pm

--2 sm pieces sf cake loaf
--1 mini bag popcorn

This was more about wanting munchies than being hungry. The sugar free cake is amazing! The company is called Hill & Valley and they have it in the bakery section at many grocery stores and Wal-Marts. Their products taste so, so good.

DH and I amused ourselves playing Wii games for a while, then settled in for some TV before bed. I think this is it for food.

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!

Sounds like you have sick people and cats everywhere you turn. Hopefully, they will all get past it soon. I must say, I love your counselors take on the food thing and the feelings that are associated with your "no" and food. It makes alot of sense. I know before I started losing weight the first time, I was denying myself alot of life's little indulgences, but not the ones in the cupboard. I also, know that once I started using mini goals for weight loss and "rewarded" myself with life indulgences such as a manicure, then I didn't feel near as deprived, so I wasn't turning towards the food. So it does make a lot of sense. I guess we could also look at it as saving alot of money.....a $20 manicure once a month (even every week) is definitely cheaper than the extra food. Great point to ponder.

As for the other day, true it wasn't balanced well at all, but it looks to me to be less food at the same time. Just hang in there, it takes time and work. One goal at a time. Hope you have a great day!::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo :

[pearlieq]

3/13/08

9:15am

--1 pkt oatmeal
--2 mini boxes raisins
--1 yogurt cup

Yum. I was really hungry this morning. I think I'm going to try making my Asian chicken salad for lunch and then we're going to have ravioli for dinner. I'm sure there will be snacks in there as needed.

It's going to be another annoying day for work. Something about this one contact guy I have to work with just sets my teeth on edge. It like he thinks he's a superior to me, and that's so not the case. Plus, we keep having to re do things because one of our project managers made decisions. So today I've got to go fuss with data for about 9000 separate items. Too fun...

11:45am

--1 SB bar.

I had run out to do some errands and wound up getting super hungry on the way to the grocery store. I was contemplating McD's as it was the only close place, but couldn't think of anything that I wanted or that I would feel good about eating. Luckily, I remember I still had one of these bars in my purse from last week! Yay! I should remember to keep a stash there for the future.

1:00pm

--big Asian salad with chicken, tomatoes, carrots, almonds, mandarin oranges, chrunchy noodles, and Newman's Sesame Ginger Dressing.

This wasn't bad. Definitely a change of pace for me--the dressing was spicy and very different from what I usually eat. It's nice to change things up every once in a while.

The only problem is, it's an hour later and I'm hungry again! I should try to wait it out, but I don't want to get so hungry that I make bad choices.

Lesli, you totally cracked me up about the cookies. At least my afternoon meeting will be much more fun as I'm imagining my annoying guy carried off by a horde of pink, sprinkled elephants. :lmao:

2:00pm

--sm handful grapes
--sm handful cashews

4:15pm

--1 string cheese
--1 sm bowl Honey Nut Cheerios

Starving again. My meeting was really frustrating. This project is just being managed so badly, and it's usually us on the team that have to pay for it. No one is organized, we keep having to re do things, and we get sent off on wild goose chases for information no one uses.

On the upside, none of that is particularly bothering me right now, because I'm nice and relaxed after taking a walk. It was just such a pretty day, I needed the stress relief, and I want to "train" a bit for our WDW trip at the end of April. I had a nice 30 minutes around the neighborhood. It was slow and I'm hopelessly out of shape, but it felt good.

7:15pm

--13 cheese ravioli w/sm amt of sauce
--2 small breadsticks (not that great)
--peas
--1/2 cup grapes

Dinner. I was darn hungry by then. Poor DH. After badgering him for weeks, I finally got him to go see a podiatrist about the sore on his foot. With the diabetes you just can't play fast and loose with this kind of thing. It turns out the sore is really deep and is aggravated by pressure, so he now has to wear a walking cast for the next 4-6 weeks! We're not sure if he's going to be back to normal for our WDW trip or not, but we'll make it work one way or the other. I feel so bad for him.

9:30pm

--handful of rf Triscuits
--2 oz neufchatel cheese
--3 mini boxes raisins
--1/4 cup Starburst jelly beans

Hungry again. That always happens when I cook a decent dinner at home. I happened to pick up another bag of the Starburst jelly beans at CVS because I needed filler for a coupon transaction. Unfortunately, I was merrily eating them when my temporary crown popped right off! Oops. I didn't think of jelly beans as a particulary sticky food. Back to the dentist with me tomorrow, I guess.

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

Looks like your day for food went pretty well yesterday. It is good that you are starting to analyze your choices and the effects they have on your mood. I laughed at the part where the animal cookies didn't make the guy from work go away, but it would have been funny to see him carried off by an entourage of elephants, hippos, lions, and camels.:lmao: I also liked how you analyzed the need for the bowl of cereal. Progress, one step at a time.

Let me know how your Asian salad comes out. It sounds very tasty.

:wizard: Wishing you luck on dealing with stress at work.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am glad you have a counselor to check in with sometimes, I should have done that with my mom's illness! That is an excellent point she made about saying "no" to you. I think that many of us do that. I think your food this week has looked pretty good, you had some salads, oatmeal and some other healthy things, so good job. Sounds like work is stressful and thats got to be tough to deal with. I think you are making progress! Just say yes to yourself more often and I'll bet good things will happen!

[toystoryduo]

:hug: Pearlieq~

I'm sorry to hear about the situations with work. :( I hope it gets better for you soon.:wizard:

Great job on getting that walk in yesterday!:thumbsup2

Hope you have a great weekend!:goodvibes

[Lesli54]

Isn't it great that spring is almost here?:cool1:

I had to laugh about the pink icing elephants and your guy at work, that was hillarious. Ahhhhhh...the power of food.;)

You mad a great choice on skipping McD's and grabbing a better snack instead. I also love your choice for the other snacks, much healthier and at least not empty calories.

Training for WDW is a good thing and it has to feel great to get out and walk after this long winter. I wish I had started earlier for our trip to Rome since I know there will be more walking. Maybe I can just move some more to get a little more "conditioned".:rolleyes:

I hope your day today is a good one.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

3/14/08

8:45am

--1 pkt oatmeal
--1 mini box raisins
--1 banana
--1 yogurt cup

I was so hungry, but trying to find something I could eat very carefully. The spot where the temporary crown popped off doesn't really hurt, but it's very sensitive to cold, especially liquids. Luckily this breakfast wasn't too uncomfortable to eat.

I'm not sure I'm going to keep seeing this dentist. He seems really nice, and his office staff is also really nice, but there are a couple of things that bug me. One is that they seem to have a bit more focus on sales than I really like. They had me fill out this stupid "smile evaluation" form which was basically a thinly-veiled lead sheet for cosmetic dentistry. They also tried to sell me a $150 toothbrush while I was there. They didn't pressure a lot, but I just found the constant reminders kind of annoying.

My other beef is that they have what I would consider to be an overly restrictive cancellation policy. I was a bit taken aback when I first signed it, because they require 48 hours of notice or you're socked with a $50 charge! That was bad enough, but when I called last night to leave a message about the crown, their voicemail message said "this voicemail box does not accept cancellations". So not only do you have to cancel 48 hours ahead of time, but you also have to do it during business hours.

I understand the guy is trying to run a business and make a living, but life just doesn't worth that way. What if you wake up sick? What if something comes up on Friday that will keep you from your Monday appointment. You can't leave a message to cancel--are you out of luck? I really don't like the policy and I don't think we'll stay.

1:00pm

--3 chicken & cheese quesadillas
--barbecue sauce for dipping
--handful of baby carrots
--1 banana
--2 sf chocolate covered wafer cookies.

The hygenist put my temporary crown back on and gave me some extra cement to use at home if it happens again. I was going to grab some lunch at the Thai place next door to the dentist, but they weren't open yet, so I wound up just coming home. Maybe we'll go out tonight.

It's actually looking to be a pretty quiet afternoon for me, and that's just the way I like it!

3:30pm

--6 animal cookies
--1/4 cup jelly beans (chewed VERY carefully on the right side only)

Sugar craving. It didn't get any farther than this, though.

7:00pm

--3 pieces pan cheese pizza
--2 pieces regular sausage pizza
--1/4 of a 20oz bottle of coke.

We tried the new pan pizza from Papa Johns, but I didn't care for it that much. It wasn't inedible, but I wouldn't rush out to do it again. The sauce was quite spicy and I found the crust kind of bland and greasy. I like their regular crust--it's nice and chewy. I don't recall having had their sausage pizza before, but I also won't be doing that again soon. It tasted like breakfast sausage, which was just very odd on pizza.

My &*^%$ temporary crown popped out again! I was so annoyed--I wasn't eating anything chewy or sticky. Just soft pizza crust on the pan pizza. I ran out and got some denture adhesive and popped it back in, but then finishing the Coke was too uncomfortable, so I put aside to save.

On the upside, I don't think I ate anymore that night.

[Amy&Dan]

Your dentist sounds like mine! Which I might add I am through with! I do remember once my daughter woke up vomitting, I called and they said no problem. Then Dr. Dentist with the fake tan and fake smile calls and says I'll be billed $50. No problem I say, I'll just go ahead and come in and dd can barf during the cleaning and expose them to her crud. Never did get that bill I might add!

Your food looked really good, you are doing very well with this. Keep that up, you can do this!

I hope you enjoyed that quiet afternoon, you deserved it! Have a great weekend.:)

[pearlieq]

3/15/08

8:30am

--2 pieces sausage pizza
--the rest of the Coke

Well, that's a healthy breakfast! Weekends are so hard to schedule. DH usually sleeps in, and sometimes I try to wait him out before breakfast, but usually right after I cave and finally eat something, he comes down the stairs and is hungry.

The dentist called back this morning. I have to go in at 2:40 to have this thing cemented back in. I'm kind of frustrated with it. I hope the real crown isn't like this. That would be so annoying to have to deal with for the rest of my life!

11:00am

--1 sausage biscuit w/cheese
--1 order hotcakes w/sausage, butter, & syrup.

OK, not the best choice I could have made. But I did skip getting a second sandwich, hashbrown, or Coke, so there is that. Even so, that's a lot and I probably won't want to eat for a while. Which is just as well, as I'm going to try to wait as long as possible so the tooth cement can set.

1:45pm

--1 piece sausage pizza
--1 piece pan pizza

I actually wound up kind of hungry again before my appointment and since I knew I wasn't going to be eating for 3 hours after the appointment, I figured I'd be eat something before I left. They were able to pop the temp crown back in and it feels pretty good, actually. Hopefully it holds this time! I won't be eating again until after 6:00pm, but then the rules are only soft food and only chewing on the right. This is going to be a fun 10 days until my real crown comes in.

9:00pm

--1 Meximelt
--1 soft taco supreme
--1 chicken fiesta burrito
--1 sf chocolate

I was soooooo hungry! I went over to my mom's late in the afternoon to do the grocery shopping. We talked for a while and by the time I was back from the store it was almost 8:00pm, so dinner was very late. At least the crown stayed put!

[Lesli54]

Good evening, Pearlieq!

Sorry to hear about your crown problems. I don't think you will have a problem with the permanent one and if it does keep popping off then you really do need to get another dentist. It's horrible that these cancellation policies exist. Our dentist doesn't charge cancellation fees. I think that is mainly because he usually fills the time slots with last minute problems that people have. You will get it worked out though.

Have fun finding soft foods. Or you could look at it as a new weight loss plan. Not exactly one that I would want to keep for long, but hey whatever works right?;) Hope the rest of your evening is much better.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[Amy&Dan]

I hear you on the weekends and how they just mess up your normal routine! I totally blew it today myself. Hopefully this crown thing will be worked out soon, when the teeth hurt, the whole body does! Hmm, soft foods, maybe pasta, rice, yogurt, eggs, ICE CREAM ;) ? Just try to do the best you can, its temporary, and you have no choice to eat anything but soft foods so you just have to know that if you can't always find good choices, its not really your fault due to the limitations. This too shall pass!

Hope the rest of the weekend is pain free with your tooth and you have some time for something fun and relaxing!

How is your mom?

P.S. You and I love the same kinds of foods. If we ever go on vacation together we might be a very naughty influence on one and other!

[pearlieq]

3/16/08

9:30am

--1 banana

I slept in this morning a bit then made a CVS run. I'm getting kind of hooked on this! I scored free chocolates, lip gloss, and mouthwash this morning. It was pretty darn cool!

10:00am

--1 Wendy's chicken biscuit
--1/2 medium Dr. Pepper

Oh, the things we do for children we love. My goddaughter and godson had a Winter Guard competition at a local high school today, so guess who sat in on wooden bleachers in a stifling gym and watched people twirl flags for 6 hours today? :) My tucchus still hurts!

I was very glad to get to see them since we don't manage to connect often. My goddaughter is 18 and graduating this year. She really is my little sister. She's leaving right after graduation to march with a drum corps all summer and she won't be back but about 10 days before she goes off to college. Time is really slipping away.

My godson is 10 this year and I can tell his "little boy" days are numbered as well. Pretty soon he won't be wanting hugs all the time and won't be begging to sleep over at our house on a Friday night. They grow up so fast (and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon... :rolleyes: )

1:00pm

--2 hot dogs
--1/2 brownie

Lunch from the concession stand.

5:30pm

--1/2 coffee cake muffin

I was soooooo hungry! We were waiting for my goddaughter to wrap things up and I was starving. Luckily I still had this left over from breakfast and convinced myself that half would do. It's darn tasty--I'm quite impressed with it for being part of a Wendy's combo meal.

7:00pm

--3 Bellini iced teas
--1 helping salad w/Italian dressing
--3 breadsticks? Maybe 2, but knowing me it was probably 3.
--whole wheat linguine with alfredo (about 2 cups)
--3 Andes mints

Olive Garden for dinner. This really was very tasty--I haven't been there in a while. They do the whole wheat linguine pretty well. I figure with that maybe the alfredo will only shave 5 minutes off of my life instead of 10. Right?

9:30pm

--2 chocolates

That's my plan for dealing with my free chocolates from this morning. 2 at a time. We'll see how well that goes, but for now I'm quite content.

In good news, thus far, the temporary crown has stayed put.

I'm nervous about tomorrow. Mom told me this weekend that her oncologist told her that her tumor markers had come back high in her blood work from last month. They checked them again on Friday and she should find out the results on Monday. If they go back down, they write the elevation off to normal fluctuations and they just keep an eye on it.

If they're up again, then they're pretty sure the cancer is active somewhere. Her last scan looked clean, so I guess they would think it's either too small to find or in her blood or something where they can't detect it on the PET scan. If it's active, it means the medicine she's taking is not working. There's only one more medicine they can try, then after that chemo is her only option.

I don't know how she could deal with another round of chemo. I don't really know if she could keep working during that, but I don't think she can afford to go on disability or retire.

The whole situation is just really bad. What kind of stinks worse is that people, myself included, want to make it seem like it's really going to be OK or there's really some silver lining or happy ending. Some kind of cosmic safety net that somehow makes it less bad. And there just isn't. She's sick, in pain, and will barely be able to scrape by for the rest of her life, if she's lucky. There is no upside. There is no good news.

Isn't that a cherry note on which to leave off? I know I can't solve the whole problem, but I'm still hoping for good news tomorrow. Whatever that may be.

[pearlieq]

3/17/08

9:15am

--1 ham steak
--1/2 coffee cake muffin
--1 cup milk

Kind of an improvised breakfast, but it was what we had and it was quick. I've got to run to my eye doctor appointment. Hopefully everything has cleared up and he can OK me for contacts again.

1:45pm

--1/2 sandwich--cheese & jelly on wheat bread
--handful Sun Chips
--1/2 cup cottage cheese
--1/2 cup applesauce
--1 cup vegetable barley soup
--2 chocolates

This was a good lunch. I'm still trying to stick with soft things and remind myself only to chew on the right, and so far the temp crown is staying put.

We've got a big fire drill going at work (yet again). Super fun. Oddly enough, though, it's not bothering me that much. I'm going to get what I can done today before our application shuts down at 5, and I'll deal with the rest tomorrow.

I think dinner tonight is going to be an egg casserole with sausage, potatoes, and cheese. I'll make some banana bread this afternoon and we'll have that and fruit on the side. Guess who has eggs and bananas to use up!

4:00pm

--3 more chocolates.

I heard from my mom. The tumor markers are up. Next step is another PET scan to see if they can see any growth.

Chocolates will not take my mom's cancer away. Chocolates will not take my mom's cancer away. Chocolates will not take my mom's cancer away...

6:00pm

--1/4 cup cashews
--6 dried apricot halves

I was getting a little peckish, so I figured I should eat something because dinner is still a couple of hours off. The banana bread is in the oven and I'll get the eggs together and ready to go in right after.

7:00pm

--another chocolate

8:00pm

--1 beef & cheddar, minus the top bun
--grilled chicken sandwich, minus part of the bun
--way too many curly fries
--medium Dr. Pepper
--1 apple turnover
--2 pieces banana bread

Well, this is pretty much a bonafide emotional-eating binge. I don't really feel any better.

[goldcupmom]

Add me to the 'I HATE DENTISTS' club! I've never had a temp crown come off, thankfully, as I have a mouth of crowns. That must be horrid!!! I dont' like that cancellation policy either. I'd look for another dentist for sure. YOu never know what will happen.

Perm crown shouldn't come off. If it does, like Amy said, get a new dentist for sure. Meantime, soup???? soft pasta???? Ice Cream!!!!!!!

Praying for good news for your mom. Terribly hard time for you!

Hang in there..........

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I so understand about your mom's blood work/tumor markers. I lived that emotional roller coaster wtih my mom for six and half years! I will really keep my fingers crossed for you and her and say a prayer for the family. Your food looks good, great job getting whole wheat pasta at Olive Garden. I would never do that, good for you!

Keep us informed on your mom and hang in there. :hug:

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq~

We'll be keeping your mom in our thoughts and prayers. Please update us when you can.:grouphug:

[Lesli54]

Good afternoon, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

Don't be too hard on yourself over last nights dinner. Your food for the rest of the day looked pretty good, including the snacks. Besides you are going through a tough time right now with your mom's health and plus side is that you recognize the fact that your dinner was emotional eating. That is a huge plus and will help you keep things in check even when they get carried away.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.:hug:

[pearlieq]

3/18/08

--9:30am

--1 piece banana bread
--6 chocolates

I'm not feeling very well this morning. I'm just depressed and my stomach feels really on edge--I don't know if it's heartburn or nerves or what.

I had this very vivid dream last night about my mother dying--not about losing her, but about her actually dying and all of the stuff you have to do right afterwards. Who says dreams aren't tapped into our subconcious.

4:00pm

--1 medium bowl honey nut Cheerios

I really don't feel good. My stomach keeps feeling like it's clenching and unclenching. I had a very annoying meeting with that same very annoying guy. I don't know what to do--he's a reasonably nice guy and I don't want to get him in trouble, but he keeps showing up late to meetings and is completely unprepared when he gets there, then he totally wastes my time babbling about things that aren't relevant to me while treating me like his secretary. It's to the point where I don't want anything to do with him, which hurts our project. Ugh!

10:20pm

--1 12oz glass 7-Up

Well, I know why I wasn't feeling good. Stomach flu. Yuck.

I feel all cold and weak and discombobulated. Luckily my mom still had some leftover nausea medicine and that helped a LOT! What am I going to do when I can't call my mom when I'm sick?

[pearlieq]

3/19/08

8:30am

--1 cup 7 Up

I slept a lot last night, and I'm trying to take it very easy today. Luckily I do feel much better--just a little tired and weak.

I would have loved to take the day off of work, but we've got files we've got to prep and hand over and I can't miss the due date. So I'm going to try to get those done and then spend the afternoon relaxing.

10:15am

--1 turkey sandwich
--1 cup 7UP

I'm finally hungry again. We'll see how this sits.

4:00pm

--1 applesauce cup
--1 piece french baguette
--1 cup 7UP

Ooh--I'm a wild woman! Food that requires silverware!

I'm still very tired and blah, but I think most of the dramatics are over.

7:30pm

--1 cup vegetable soup
--1 piece baguette
--1/2 cup macaroni & cheese
--1 cup 7UP

I'm getting brave--food that requires chewing!

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am so sorry you are sick! That really stinks but I am glad you are feeling better. I know that rollercoaster you are on right now with your mom, you can get through this but its not easy. I am hopeful the scan will show some hopeful news and just keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers. As for that annoying guy at work, hopefully you gave him your stomach bug germs during the meeting! Feel better and hang in there.


Hope you are having a sweet and happy dream tonight!:wizard:

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!:cool1:

I hope that you are feeling much better today. It sure doesn't help to be sick when you have so many other things going on. As for your mom and your dreams, just try to take it easy the best you can. To ease the stress, if you haven't done so already, there are alot of "arrangements" that can be planned for years ahead of time which will reduce your anxiety about taking care of everything after she is gone. My DH's aunt had many things planned out and another has almost everything planned out, which really helped the family since neither had their own children. Also, I was there when DH needed help with things after his dad was gone, plus I ended up planning the entire memorial and after service arrangements for my grandmother. It would have been nice if those things were planned ahead of time. I am sending you lots and lots of support to help ease your stress so you can sleep. :wizard: :wizard: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug:

On another note, I thought that guy had been carried off by the pink elephants.:laughing: It does seem like a bit of a quandry with him, but you seem to be good at words, so I am thinking that you can get your point across somehow to show that his behavior is what is hurting the team the most. Too bad, you can't just bypass him.

Good luck with your day and remember to BREATHE, you need to calm those anxieties.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

3/20/08

9:15am

--1 piece french baguette
--most of a cup of chicken/wild rice soup
--1 cup 7UP

Well, that's the last of the 7UP and hopefully the last of the pestilence! I actually feel reasonably human again today.

I checked this morning, and I've lost 6.5 pounds in the last 2 days. Outrageous!

I'm going out for lunch with a friend today--luckily it's just a little diner so I'm sure I can find something easy on the stomach.

12:00pm

--2 peach pancakes w/butter & sugar free syrup

These were pretty good. Lunch with my friend was a little awkward. This is the same friend whose kids I watched. We just kept butting heads--it was like no matter what I said, she had some opinion on it that I completely didn't agree with, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to agree with her, but I wasn't looking to be contentious or start a debate during what was supposed to be a fun lunch either. She's just got such a strong personality and we think different about things. Things were definitely "off". Maybe some more time off with help. I probably won't see her for at least another couple of weeks.

3:00pm

--4 caramels

Well, I've got my appetite back!

5:30pm

--1 handful cheese mini rice cakes
--scant 1/4 cup jelly beans

Wow, I'm playing fast and loose with my crown, aren't I? I was hungry again. I'm finding I don't need many jelly beans to feel satisfied, which is nice.

7:15pm

--large helping egg, sausage, potato casserole
--1 orange
--1 sm slice banana bread w/a bit of margarine.

It feels good to finally cook and be back to normal person food.

9:45pm

--small piece egg casserole
--med piece chocolate chip cake
--1 cup milk

DH brought home a chocolate chip cake for me--he's so sweet. Unfortunately, I feel a little sickly after eating this, even though I was hungry when I had it. Maybe too much, too soon?

[pearlieq]

3/21/08

9:20am

--1 serving egg casserole
--1 pc wheat toast w/margarine
--1 apple
--1 cup milk

I'm feeling really depressed today. I know it's just a combo of TOM and a gray, cold day, but it's really dragging me down. The worst of it is that my godson is coming to sleep over and then I'm supposed to go out with his sister and mom prom dress shopping tomorrow. Then it will be Easter. I just have to be "on" for the next 48 hours.

The thing about my godkids' family is that they can be very challenging to deal with--you need to be in pretty good form to handle them. Their lives run on total chaos, and, unfortunately, there really isn't much consideration for anyone else. There are apologies and protestations about slights and inconveniences, but no actual remedy to the situation. It's not like it's a surprise or anything--I've been dealing with them for the last 12 years. You just accept them as they are and try to make the best of it. But I'm going to have to work a lot today to psych myself up to being able to deal with it.

4:00pm

--1 piece egg casserole
--1 pc chocolate cake

7:30pm

--6 (?) squares cheese pizza
--1/2 liter Sierra Mist

10:00pm

--1 rice pudding cup
--a few jelly beans

The night with my godson went OK. He was in high spirits and wanted to play video games all night. It was nice to see him, but it felt more like work than fun.

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq~

I hope the weekend goes well for you. :hug: TOM and this gloomy weather (especially in combination) can really play havoc on our lives. Sending lots of good thoughts and :wizard: :wizard: your way.

Hope you have a Happy Easter!:hug:

[pearlieq]

3/22/08

9:30am

--1 pc sausage egg casserole
--1 orange
--1 cup milk

Oh my goodness, this kid does not sleep! He didn't go down until after 1 am! I knew I was going to let him stay up late, but I tried the old "let's lay down and watch a movie" trick around 10:45 since I was getting tired. No dice. He stayed up through the entire movie and was even still a little antsy afterwards. I finally had to leave him to his own devices as I was exhaused. Luckily I think he fell asleep pretty soon after I went to bed.

I figured since we had been up so late he would sleep in, right? Again, no dice. The kid barged into the bedroom--no knock or anything--at 7:25am! I told him (nicely, of course) to amscray. He was back again in a hour--again barging in--to see if I was up yet. Unfortunately, by then I couldn't get back to sleep. I was pretty ready for him to go home by then. You'd think a 10 year old would know better, but maybe not? I dunno. :confused3 I don't think we're going to be doing any more sleepovers anytime soon.

1:15pm

--Indonesian peanut saute with whole grain noodles and tofu.
--1 medium Dr. Pepper

Yum! Noodles & Company with my goddaughter. I handed off her brother to her dad and we went out to hit a couple of stores and grab lunch before her mom got home to join us.

I got to have a really good talk with her--there have been so many things I wanted to talk with her about and make sure she knew. She a smart, savvy girl, but her life is going to change a lot in the next year, and I just really want her prepared.

She found a very pretty dress at one store--totally not what she was looking for, but lovely on her. She put it on hold so she could take some time out to think about it before committing.

4:15pm

--1 McD's caramel sundae

Shopping break. After lunch we went back and got her mom and went to a local mall. I was really shocked at how light the selection was--isn't this prime prom shopping season?

She found one more dress that she kinda liked--it was the color she was originally looking for and it was a very va-va-voom cut, but in the end I don't think it had quite the gravitas that your senior prom dress should have.

So, after a quick snack break, we headed back to the store with the original dress she loved. She showed it to her mom, and it was just the most disappointing reaction. I was so frustrated with her. Her mom either didn't like, or thought it was too expensive, or who knows what, but instead of saying "Oh honey, you look lovely", her mom just began picking apart the dress. She complained about how it was pressed and how a little stitch under the arm was missing and how one of the pickups on the skirt had fallen (which would require a couple of stitches to fix, at most). There was just no joy or happiness or fun at all. Just pick, pick, pick. :rolleyes:

I felt so bad for my goddaughter. For her part, she was disappointed, but quite gracious about it. They left the decision up in the air. I hope they come around.

I feel so bad, sometimes, for how she's treated in that family. She's the middle child and the only girl, I think she gets overlooked and slighted all the time. There's so much subtle sexism in that family. Her older bro can get away with murder, and get a lot of things handed to him. Not so for her--so often all she hears is "no".

Her younger brother has behavioral/social issues and her older brother is having some protracted adolescent "failure to launch". She has the (mis)fortune to be responsible and self-sufficient and so is often held to a much higher standard than the others and her needs are often bumped to the very last on the list. I try to advocate for her where I can, but it just butters my buns to see way they take her for granted and neglect to just listen to her. I can't wait for her to get out of there. I know she loves her family deeply, but I think being on her own will bring her a lot more happiness.

10:00pm

--2 cheeseburgers
--1 Mc Chicken
--medium fries
--medium orange soda
--3 cookies

This is tiredness and fatigue here. After finishing up with my goddaughter, I went over to my mom's to do the shopping. Unfortunately, the new cleaning person who was supposed to come today just totally blew the appointment off--no call, nothing. Mom was ticked because she'd gotten up and dressed to meet the woman, and disappointed because she had liked her when she came to do the estimate. Big bummer.

We're not going to be celebrating tomorrow--Mom just isn't up to having plans tomorrow. That made me kind of sad--it's hard to see her get frail. It makes this all seem very real.

I actualy got a little emotional on the way home. A Hollies song came on the radio. Their songs always remind me of her. She loves their music and their sound and messages are just very "her". Just hearing the song set me off and made me really sad about the whole situation. I just can't believe that someday she's going to be gone forever.

[pearlieq]

2/23/08

9:30am

--handful of jelly beans

What? It's Easter morning...

10:45am

--4 squares of cheese pizza

Leftovers from the other night. Still not a peep from DH, so I went ahead and got something to eat.

I did notice that I was pretty satisfied with 2 squares, so I stopped there and put the rest aside for a while. I went back to it later, mostly because I was too lazy to get up and put it away, if we're being honest here. I should really challenge myself in the next few weeks to cut portion sizes and see how I do.

2:00pm

--sm piece egg casserole

DH finally got up just before 1pm. I wish I could sleep in that long!

Naturally, he was pushing for lunch, and, as usual, I wasn't that hungry because I'd already ate. Things worked out, though. I managed to steer him into a "smorgasboard" type lunch where he ate up a whole bunch of things that we had leftover. So, double bonus--I got my fridge cleaned out and I wasn't pressued to overeat!

4:00pm

--3 chocolates
--sm handful jelly beans

6:30pm

--3 chicken strips
--1 side macaroni & cheese
--2 biscuits
--1 Mountain Dew

Wow--I really am getting fuller much faster these days. I actually had an extra size to try, and I just couldn't. To be honest, I should have stopped even earlier, but it was in front of me, so, of course, it got eaten.

[Lesli54]

Happy Easter!:cool2: Of course, I waited all day to see the sun and it just didn't show up much. Snow on the ground this morning melted quickly then we had flurries during our egg hunt but it didn't stick. So how is the weather up that way? Did you the 14" of snow that hit Kenosha miss you? It sure doesn't feel like Easter.

Hey, at least you satisfied your DH's lunch with a "buffet" and it is always good if you can clean out the fridge at the same time.;) The prom dress shopping sounded so sad in the end and I just wanted to cry for the girl. When my DD's and I go shopping we are always concious of the mother's that really don't look at how well an outfit looks on their daughters (or how well it doesn't look). The other day while dress shopping for DD20, I saw one mother tell her overweight daughter that a dress looked great and it was "the one". Sad to say, the dress was a knit that clung and showed everything making the poor girl stand out and look bigger than she really was. I wanted to run to a rack and play "Stacy & Clinton" and find her a dress that fit very well and was flattering to boost her confidence. We have also run into the other side that you have mentioned where a dress is perfect but the parent says "no". I can understand if it is a money issue, but I don't think it always is. Sometimes I think it is a "popularity fashion contest" in the mind of the parent. Hopefully, your goddaughter gets the dress that fits the best.

Glad you are feeling better and it looks like you are trying to keep your portions in check. Wishing you a good evening for the rest of Easter.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo :

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: I have had lunches with friends like the one you had on Thursday and it can be upsetting. You think you just want to have some fun with a girlfriend and it turns into something way too thought provoking. A couple of weeks off will probably do the trick on that one!

And I think its a shame your goddaughter found a lovely dress only to find a lukewarm response from her mom. Things like that really stay with a girl her age. I am glad she has you! Your godson sounds like a challenge to have over! I will tell you that the average ten year old is not that high maintainence thank goodness. That is nice you do so much for your godchildren, they are lucky to have you in their lives.

I am glad you are feeling better, that sounded like a nasty virus! Good job getting your dh to play human garbage disposal, that served a dual purpose! Hope the rest of your weekend was a good one, Happy Easter!

[pearlieq]

3/24/08

8:40am

--1 sm bowl Honey Nut Cheerios

Hungry this morning! I didn't eat later last night, even though DH was hinting at pizza. I really do want to experiment with portions--I've got this feeling I could get away with so much less.

Either the pink, sprinkled elephants didn't carry him far enough away, or the camels sold me out and brought him back, because I'm stuck meeting with annoying guy this morning. Hopefully that the only irritation today.

Poor DH is at the podiatrist this morning to follow up on his foot ulcer and there's a good chance he's going to come home in a cast. Should make the WDW trip interesting!

12:30pm

--most of a bowl of beef barley soup
--1 large yeast roll w/1 tub whipped butter & 1 pkt grape jelly
--1 BLT sandwich
--a few bites fresh fruit

Again with the shrinking stomach! I'm uncomfortably stuffed right now. To be honest I could have contentedly stopped at the soup and roll, but that doesn't always work too well when you're in a restaurant and have already placed your order.

It was fun to go out to lunch with DH. He really is such a wonderful man. He's so sweet and funny and he gives me all the room I want to be me. I love spending time with him.

The cast is a go--he gets it this afternoon. He's home today and will be home though at least Thursday. It's supposed to stay on 4-5 weeks, and we're exactly 5 weeks out from our WDW trip, so he may just get it off the day before we go. If not, we'll just rent an ECV and deal.

4:50pm

--sm handful jelly beans
--2 baby carrots
--sm chunk co-jack cheese
--mini bag popcorn

Well, DH is off getting his cast. It's supposed to be pretty sophisticated. He can't walk on it for the first 2 days, but then he's supposed to be able to go everywhere with it. Should be interesting to see.

6:00pm

--1 piece chocolate bundt cake
--1 cup milk

I got pretty snacky this evening

8:00pm

--1/2 order lasagna
--1/2 piece garlic cheese bread
--1 garlic roll
--1 1/2 glasses Coke
--a few bites yucky cannoli

The wheels came off the wagon a bit this evening. DH got home with his cast. Man that thing is big! But, when it cures, he's supposed to be able to walk on it. I feel kind of bad for him, but he'll be OK.

[Amy&Dan]

I am betting you can survive Mr. Annoying! Why does every sitation in life have to have at least one pinhead to make things difficult? And I really hope your dh's foot comes out okay. WDW in a cast might be very interesting! If you decide he needs a scooter, get one from one of the offiste rental agencies, they are so much cheaper than renting from the parks. We had to do that for fil, it was a lifesaver. I think it was Walker Rentals maybe. Check out the Disabilities board for great information on touring the parks when you don't have two working limbs/feet!

Portion control is something we all need to work on! Just think about how your stomach feels and go from there. You can do it!

Your trip is so close, have you stayed at BWV before? I love that resort.

I really teared up with your account of hearing the music that made you think of your mom. I know where you are coming from. It is very hard to face the grim reality that a loved one is perhaps nearing the end of life. Maybe your mom will beat this thing, I hope so. But if not, just know that you have been, and will continue to be a wonderful daughter. Its not easy but its good that you are dealing with things in the here and now. I did as well and while the last two months have been beyond hard, my coming to terms with a lot of this set the stage for me surviving it. You will too. In the meantime, I am praying that your mom finds some healing and renewed years with all of this. And I am sending out good thoughts to you too!:hug:

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

How did your meeting go today? I hope it went well.:wizard:

Did your DH get his cast yet? I hope his foot heals quickly!:wizard:

I hope you have a great week ahead. :hug:

[pearlieq]

3/25/08

9:45am

--1/2 piece lasagna
--1 garlic roll
--1 glass Coke

The Coke probably wasn't strictly necessary. I ordered a single can, and they sent a 2 liter last night. I'm trying to eat pretty hearty since I know I won't be eating this afternoon after my dental appointment.

5:00pm

--4 Club crackers
--3 chocolates

I grabbed this quickly because I was starving. I was caught up in a work mini-crisis. Captain Annoying was in rare form this afternoon. He got in touch with me and insisted I call him on his cell (Hello? I work from home and that's long distance.) right away. I was in the middle of trying to get something done for a tight deadline, so I asked if it was an emergency or if it could wait. He insisted I call, so I do, only to find out that he has a stupid, not-at-all-urgent question. Sorry, Annoying Guy, your impatience does not make something an emergency! Jerk. I tried talking to my supervisor about him and he basically acknowledged the guy was a tool but had limited options in dealing with him.

Dentist appointment went OK, I guess. The crown is in. It feels a little funny, but not uncomfortable. I also had the 4 fillings on the bottom. The dentist was trying to push me to do without anesthetic, which I found a little strange. I insisted on the pain meds, and I'm not sure he did a great or thorough job of it, since I still felt a bit of the drilling on one side. DH heard about that and decided he didn't want to go there. Now that I'm done, there's really no reason for us to stay.

6:00pm

--2 large pieces turkey sausage
--6 pierogis
--1 applesauce cup
--2 T sour cream
--1/2 pkt seasoned broccoli & carrots
--12oz Coke
--1 T jelly beans

This was WAY more than I needed! I shouldn't have let DH dish out dinner--I could easily have been fine with half the sausage and maybe even half of the pierogis. But, as usual, it was in front of me, so I ate it.

10:00pm

--1 McD's grilled chicken BLT
--most of a double cheeseburger
--most of a medium order of fries
--2 apple pies
--1 med orange soda

Oh, I wish I had a reason for this. DH was hinting around and I gave in. The sad thing was, I didn't really even want it, except maybe for the pies. They were good. The rest actually made me a little queasy, even while I was eating it. But I kept eating it. I did finally stop with the fries and double cheeseburger, which was actually hard for me. That is so strange--it's hard for me to stop eating something I'm not even enjoying and is even kind of turning my stomach. But at least I did finally stop.

Not my finest hour.

[pearlieq]

3/26/08

--9:00am

--1 bowl Honey Nut Cheerios

I had a mildly productive morning. At least I got through the giant stack of paper on my planning desk. I need to fill out some rebate forms and make a few calls today.

12:15pm

--2 chicken enchiladas
--1/2 beef enchilada
--2 chicken or pork falutas
--2 T sour cream
--1 chocolate chip cookie
--1 corn fritter

Yum, yum yum!!! While flipping through one of those coupon magazines, I happened to notice an ad for a local restaurant that had a Mexican buffet lunch. I've been having this mad craving for Mexican food (thanks, Amy! :thumbsup2 ) for days now, so it seemed like the perfect excuse to endulge.

It was awesome! The food was wonderful and fresh. I was careful to keep portions reasonably and my shrinking stomach contributed to the effort too. I could have eaten another cookie and another million corn fritters, but I quit while I was ahead and I feel good about that.

I got the grocery shopping done this afternoon, and now I'm hoping for a lazy rest of the day. Annoying Guy has only come along to bug me a few times. I'll take it!

4:45pm

--7 Hershey's kisses
--1 T jelly beans
--1 cup Coke
--12 mini cheese rice cakes

Gee, would I like some carbs with my snack? At least this did hit the spot.

6:00pm

--1 portion spaghetti pie
--1 sm piece garlic bread
--1 orange
--large helping broccoli w/a bit of olive oil & parmesan

It was a bit "use it up" dinner. I had a whole bunch of stuff that needed to get used, so I was able to make 2 spaghetti pies--one for tonight, one to put up for later. I also got the broccoli & oranges used up, so score!

7:50pm

--1 T jelly beans
--2 sm caramels

I'm so bummed. My eye problem is acting up again. I got this thing called Giant Papillary Conjunctivits, which is a reaction contact lens wearers get when they wear their lenses too long. It really irritates your eyes. I had to stop wearing lenses completely for 6 weeks and use these steroid drops. Things were going really well, and after my last follow up appointment the doctor said to stop the eye drops and go back to wearing contacts during the day. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like my eyes were ready. I've only tried contacts a couple of times since then and my eyes are so irritated! I guess it's back to glasses for a little while longer. It's OK I guess--I don't mind glasses too much.

[pearlieq]

3/27/08 - One month to go!

11:45am

--1 cup hot chocolate
--1 bowl chicken noodle soup
--1/2 turkey bacon wrap
--1 fruit cup
--most of a cheesecake dessert cup

Lunch out with a friend. I didn't mean to wait this long to eat today, but I slept late and didn't have too much of an appetite when I woke up. The food was pretty darn good, but I got full before I could finish my sandwich.

The cheesecake dessert was OK. I wouldn't do it again, and probably should have stopped a few bites before I did.

It's snowy and cold here today. So much for spring! At least we're only one month out from our WDW trip today. I can't wait!

3:00pm

--the other half of my sandwich from lunch

Hungry again.

5:00pm

--munchies (a few kisses, 4 haystacks, some cheese rice cakes, maybe a few jelly beans?)

7:00pm

--1 serving of ham/wild rice casserole
--3/4 cup pineapple
--the last glass of Coke

9:00pm

--1 mini bag popcorn
--7 kisses
--1 T jelly beans

I keep having these munchy fits where I'll search and search for something to eat and I'm not even hungry, really. I'm looking for something to satisfy me, and I'm looking for it in food, but I don't think it's food I want. The food I do eat never delivers the satisfaction that I think it will, and then I go back to searching.

What am I looking for?

[goldcupmom]

Gee,Pearlie, I'm hoping & praying for you & your mom. Much to deal with right now.

Mr. Annoying sounds like he needs a swift kick!

Your food hasn't been bad (well, except maybe for McD's). You're going thru a lot & old habits die hard.

Prom shopping sounds like you did very well & that her mom needs a swift kick, too! Would have been hard for me to keep quiet!

Glad the new crown is in & you're through with the Dentist for awhile.

Have a great weekend! I'll try to send some warmer weather your way....

[Amy&Dan]

Oh, I wish I had a reason for this. DH was hinting around and I gave in. The sad thing was, I didn't really even want it, except maybe for the pies. They were good. The rest actually made me a little queasy, even while I was eating it. But I kept eating it. I did finally stop with the fries and double cheeseburger, which was actually hard for me. That is so strange--it's hard for me to stop eating something I'm not even enjoying and is even kind of turning my stomach. But at least I did finally stop.

Not my finest hour.

Okay Missy I beg to differ! I think it was a "fine" hour! You evaluated what you were doing. You stopped at one point and realized later that the pies were the best part. This is a process, and during this meal you may not have eaten the best choices, but you stopped, you thought and therefore you learned! Thats what its all about.

You and I have so much the same eating habits! I think you are really making some serious progress with all of this. Given your stress with your mom that is really saying something.

Mr. Annoying needs to be put on the same slow boat to China that my ds' Mrs. Female Dog Teacher needs to be put on! I swear, the world would be so much nicer if only all the annoying idots would just disapper.;)

Keep on doing what you are doing, I for one am proud of you!:hug: And still keeping you and your family in my prayers. Its not easy I know.

[toystoryduo]

:hug: Pearlieq,

I hope you have a great weekend ahead. We're supposed to have warmer weather next week. I hope it gets warm, sunny, and spring like out your way!:goodvibes

[pearlieq]

3/28/08

9:15am

--1 chunk co-jack cheese
--1 bowl wheat Chex
--1 banana

I love Wheat Chex and bananas. It's such a good combo.

Well, I'll be working this morning, then I'm going to log off early and go over to the hospital to meet up with my mom. She's going to be there all day having a bone scan and a cat scan. They wanted to do new tests since her tumor markers were up, but the &^%$# insurance company wouldn't approve her for a PET scan until she did a bone scan and cat scan. Does that make any sense to anyone??? I feel bad for her and thought I'd go keep her company for at least some of it.

Tomorrow is going to be a loooong day. I'll be up in the AM at mom's as usual, then we have a friend's son's 2nd birthday party in the afternoon. That one's going to be an experience--she makes the world's biggest spread of really good food. You sit and you eat, and eat, and eat all of these wonderful things and then she trots out and says "Ok, lunch is ready!" :laughing: It could be a long afternoon.

After that, we're supposed to go to my friend's fondue party. I don't know how this one is going to turn out--I don't think we know most of the people there, and I don't recall really "clicking" with the ones we did meet surrounding their wedding. On the upside, I'm not really worried about overeating there, since I was with her when she picked the menu and it's almost all things I don't care for. Fine by me! I'm probably still going to be rolling everywhere after the birthday party. :rotfl:

2:00pm

--1 yeast roll w/1 tub whipped butter & 1 pkt strawberry jam
--1/2 bowl chicken orzo soup
--1 chicken, mozzarella, & pesto panini
--most of a fruit cup
--1/2 belgian waffle w/whipped cream & strawberry syrup.

Oh, I'm so full! My magical shrinking stomach is still with me. Mom wanted the dessert waffle and I wasn't going to turn her down, but oof!

As it turned out, by the time I made it to the hospital, Mom was in the middle of the last of her tests, so I waited about 20 minutes, met up with her, and then followed her back toward home so we could get lunch at the local diner. It wound up being a very nice chance to visit together. I'm really enjoying the time with my mom a lot more now that I'm not feeling so overwhelmed. I hope it lasts for a while, because this is nice.

7:30pm

--2 slices bacon spinach alfredo pizza
--2 garlic breadsticks
--1 20oz Coke

Well, it was Geekfest 2008 at our house last night. DH had a bunch of his ham radio club friends over to build antennae. They were nice guys, but I mostly hid in the house and watched Emma, from the PBS Jane Austen series. I liked the Gwyneth Paltrow version better.

9:45pm

--2 more slices of pizza
--6 kisses

I got a little peckish before bed.

[pearlieq]

3/29/08

9:00am

--1 slice pizza
--1 banana

Running out the door to get to my mom's!

11:00am

--1 cup milk

2:00pm

--2 small baked potatoes w/cheese sauce, sour cream, bacon bits, and green onions
--a couple handfuls potato chips w/dip
--a sm handful M&Ms
--2 cupcakes

We had quite a misadventure geting to the birthday party today! I was already running late since things had gone long at my mom's, and the DH and I got hopelessly lost on the way to our friend's house. We drove around for almost an hour trying to get back on track. We would have called, but we couldn't even tell where we were! They live in kind of a rural area and if you go just a mile or two out it's all just farmland. Very disorienting.

We finally made it to the party just as the birthday boy was unwrapping his last gifts, so we missed the games, his cake, and everything. I was bummed. They were really nice about it, and we wound up sticking around and chatting, but I felt bad.

On the way home we figured out where we had gone wrong. I guess the county had completely regraded part of the road there--it used to just be a curve, and they turned it into a T-intersection with a stoplight. We got confused and turned there instead of where we were supposed to. Oh well. Now we know, I guess.

6:00pm

--2 pieces cold pizza
--1 banana

Surprisingly, I'm actually hungry again. I didn't eat nearly as much as I thought I would at the birthday party. She put out a much more modest spread this year, which I think was better for everyone. The food was wonderful, but I'm not as overstuffed as I was in the past.

I'm not anticipating that I'm going to like the food at the fondue party (she had mentioned a lot of cheeses I don't care for, and they're using a lot of wine/beer, which I don't enjoy). It's no big deal, of course. I'll try a few things and mostly just hang out.

8:00pm

--soooooo much food!

The fondue party actually came out pretty nice. DH stayed home, so it was just me, but sometimes that's easier--I don't have to worry about how he's doing while hanging out with, essentially, my friends.

I ate about a bazillion mini quiches, plenty of chocolate fondue with dippers, some cheese fondue with chips, some bagel chips with dip, and at least a couple of sodas. The crowd was actually pretty nice, though some were getting pretty toasted by the evening's end--not fun toasted, but kind of obnoxious toasted. I don't have any beef with people drinking at parties and even getting a bit buzzed, but when you're so drunk you're sloppy and rude, no one likes you! Just a PSA...

[pearlieq]

3/30/08

1:30pm

--1 footlong sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub
--1 cinnamon sugar bagel w/strawberry cream cheese
--1 light mango smoothie

I'm having the most wonderful, decadent day today. DH is away at an event, and I wound up sleeping in until almost 11am! That's pretty unusual for me--usually I wake up pretty early, either naturally or because my back is sore (darn crappy mattress and extra weight!).

I woke up, had the house to myself, so I'm enjoying a quiet day of reading and Travel Channel specials and a yummy lunch.

It's a good day. :)

5:30pm

--2 T jelly beans

7:00pm

--3 chicken strips
--coleslaw
--macaroni & cheese
--1 biscuit
--4 pkts hone
--1 double cheeseburger

I've been wanting a cheeseburger all day, but DH wanted KFC. I thought I could compromise by having him stop by the KFC that is attached to an A&W so I could get a cheeseburger. Bad idea. I didn't need all that food, and the cheeseburger was NOT good--just bland and greasy. I should have stopped eating it, but I didn't.

11:45am

--1 cup milk
--1 banana

[pearlieq]

3/31/08 - Goodbye March!

10:00am

--1 bacon, egg, & cheese biscuit
--1 chicken biscuit w/1 pkt honey
--1 coffee cake muffin

Oof! DH took me out this morning to drop my car off at the shop (hopefully nothing too expensive this time!) and we stopped for breakfast on the way home. I think this was big enough to be lunch too!

I don't remember a whole lot of detail about this day, but I know we went for an early dinner and then I made the mistake of getting a box of toaster pastries during a shopping trip. Half of them were gone last night. Oops!

DH was irritating me--he kept wanting to eat. We had that giant breakfast, and he came up a couple hours later wanting lunch! I told him no way, so we went off and fixed himself Hot Pockets and then kept suggesting "lunch" all afternoon. We finally went and ate around 5pm and he was still calling it lunch! Our schedules are never in sync and it's frustrating. Normally I only have to deal with it on the weekends, but he's been working from home a lot now with the cast, so it's becoming an every day issue. This is going to be a long month...

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

It sounds like you had a wonderful Sunday!:cloud9: I hope your week ahead is a good one!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: Your situation with your mom sounds so familar! I am glad you are in a good spot with her right now and enjoying that. I am not a bit surprised about the "can't have the pet scan until the bone and cat scan" thing. Insurance companies make me a bit sick. I think back on things with my mom and just wonder why things are the way they are. I am praying for good results on those scans.

I am glad you had fun at the fondue party, totally agree on the obnoxious drunk thing, there's nothing worse! That food sounded really good. And I am sorry you guys got lost on the way to the birthday party, totally aggravating.

So glad you got some time for you on Sunday. Your body probably really needd that extra sleep. Hope today was a good one for you and that the car wasn't a big repair bill!

[pearlieq]

4/1/08 - I'm going to WDW this month!

9:00am

--1 pkt toaster pastries
--1 cup milk

Breakfast of champions...

11am - 3:00pm

--munching

I remember a leftover baked potato with cheese & toppings, more toaster pastries, and chips. Not great.

5:00pm

--2 Lean Pockets

6:15pm

--2 mini meatloaves
--1/2 cup mashed potatoes
--1/2 cup peas

Whoops. I thought we were going to eat late this afternoon since I was supposed to go over to my mom's for a bit tonight to help her dig out her closet. DH came home earlier than I expected, so I wound up eating dinner right after the Lean Pockets. I didn't eat a whole lot, but I didn't really need a meal at that point. At least that was it for the day.

[Amy&Dan]

4/1/08 - I'm going to WDW this month!




Me too Pearlieq! Is that not always the best thing when your month comes up!

I think your food looked pretty good today. You are really doing well and so disciplined about journaling what you eat. That is awesome and something I need to do better on! I am proud that you are evaluating your choices. That is how good habits begin, by be conscious of what you are eating. Another Monday bites the dust!

[pearlieq]

4/2/08

9:30am

--1 cup light yogurt
--1 apple

It started out as a pretty good day. I slept in way too late this morning. I knew we had plans to go to the Mexican buffet for lunch, so I didn't want to eat too much this morning, but I knew I had to eat since the Glucophage makes me really sick to my stomach if I skip meals.

12:30pm

--3 1/2 chicken enchiladas w/sour cream
--1 flauta
--a few bites rice
--4 small corn fritters

This place is so tasty! I overdid it a bit here. I really probably didn't need all of it--I'll skip the rice next time. It wasn't that great. (Amy, I swear to heavens we're writing the same journal, sometimes...)

I am, however, in love with those flippin' little corn fritters. They look just like donut holes and they're made out of some kind of cornmeal batter. They're not sweet, though they do dust them with powdered sugar. They're just little nuggets of deep fried carby goodness. :love:

3:00pm

--munching

I don't know what possessed me to keep eating all afternoon. I know I had about 1/4 cup jelly beans, chips, and about 10 Hershey's kisses and I think some milk. Though, if you want to call this improvement in some funny way, I'm still working on the same bag of Kisses I've had for about a week. That's a new one for me--usually I'll blow through about any snack food in a day or two.

6:00pm

--1 ham steak
--1 orange
--1 box macaroni & cheese

DH cooked, which was nice, but I didn't put up a fight when he suggested cooking each of us our own box of mac & cheese. At least he knows to only use half the butter, but still.

After dinner I just couldn't sit around in front of the TV again. So we went to the library. It was nice to get a change, but there was this young man sitting next to us who way playing some kind of computer game with music, so there was a soundtrack to my reading all night, even after we asked him to mute it.

9:00pm

--2 bacon, egg, & cheese biscuits
--2 cupcakes with about 75% of the icing scraped off.

I don't know if I can adequately express how difficult and painful it is to journal honestly. It costs me to have to write things like this down.

DH and I decided we wanted snacks after our library run, so we wandered through the Wal-Mart by our house, up to no good. I picked out cupcakes and a pack of Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches. Why? I have no idea. It's not something I usually eat or had ever bought before. But they looked good. So that's what I wound up eating last night.

I've started to divide my eating/weight problems into 2 parts--bad habits and "something wrong". I don't mind the bad habits so much--if that was all I had to live with, I'd probably still be big, but not nearly as big as I am.

It's the "something wrong" that gets to me. The bingeing, the eating while I know I'm looking for something else, the eating that completely runs afoul of healthy limits. I wish I could figure that part out.

[pearlieq]

4/3/08

10:00am

--1 bacon, egg, & cheese biscuit

Luckily this is the end of the box. Having one for breakfast is not the end of the world. Putting 2 away at bedtime, not so hot.

My goals today are simple and fairly modest. I'd just like a day I don't have to feel ashamed of. I don't mind some indulgences, but I'd like to recognizable meals and not an afternoon and night filled with a parade of chips and candy.

1:00pm

--2 corndogs
--1 sm handful chips
--1 cupcake

I wound up picking up lunch for DH and I, but he hand to run into the office. I guess I'll save the rest of the corndogs for dinner. I know he'll be excited--it's one of his favorite foods and a rare thing in our house.

3:30pm

--about 1/4 cup jelly beans
--something else?

I don't remember getting too out of hand with the snacks all afternoon.

5:00pm

--2 corn dogs
--a couple of chips

DH came home, found the corndogs and wanted them right away. I didn't say no.

8:00pm

--2 cupcakes

I was so hungry! We had already decided on pizza, but I wound up gobbling these down anyway.

9:00pm

--1/2 medium cheese pizza
--8 toasted raviolis

I actually could have stopped with about half of the pizza I ate. Last week I probably would have. I need to get back to being mindful about stopping when I'm done. It's not going to disappear!

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: Don't be so hard on yourself. I have had some late night eating that makes yours look like a starvation diet. This is a journey and the fact you are honest proves you are in this for the right reasons and gearing yourself towards success. We all have our problems with food sweetie or we woudln't be here! I gotta tell you again, your taste is so like mine! Give me a sausage biscuit sandwich and I am happy. Just keep hanging in there, you are making so much headway.

P.S. I also think we are writing the same journal sometimes myself! Great minds think and eat alike!

[Amy&Dan]

. Though, if you want to call this improvement in some funny way, I'm still working on the same bag of Kisses I've had for about a week. That's a new one for me--usually I'll blow through about any snack food in a day or two.



I call this definite improvement. I can tell your right now I would never have the strength to not eat the whole bag in one day or even in one sitting. That is discipline plain and simple.

P.S. I would have put that kid with the computer game at the library in a choke hold. How annoying.

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

I want to send a gentle :hug: your way. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Journaling food or weight (or body composition percentages ;) ) can be so difficult at times. Like Amy said, honesty proves that you are on the right track and that leads to success.:thumbsup2 Keep on keeping on, pearlieq! I know you CAN do this!:cheer2:

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!:hug:

[pearlieq]

4/4/08

11:00am

--2 mini meatloaves
--2/3 cup mashed potatoes
--1/2 cup peas
--1 cupcake, most of the frosting removed.

Another day where my schedule is a bit off. I had to jump right into a flurry of work questions when I logged in this morning, so I didn't wind up eating until later.

Also, DH had a lunch appointment, so my pusher-man is not here! I wound up having a reasonably sensible meal of leftovers. I enjoy it when he works from home, but it's not good for my waistline!

3:00pm

--1 mini bag of popcorn
--7 kisses

And finally the end of the kisses. I seriously think it's been more than a week. Wow!

5:00pm

--2 mini bagels w/cream cheese & jam
--small bowl granola w/milk

Dang this granola is good! I picked up a box at Aldi the other day after not having had it for years. It's just all sweet and crunchy and cinnamony. I've got to be careful with it!

7:20pm

--1 beef & cheddar croissant
--1 hot dog
--1/2 order fries w/cheese
--1 large root beer

Portillo's. The reason I can never leave Chicago. Next time I'll nix the hot dog. I ordered more out of habit than anything. But, on the plus side, I split fries w/DH and didn't order a piece of their chocolate cake. So that's something.

It's a quiet night here tonight. DH has some ham radio club event tomorrow, so he's down in his basement lair programming something. I didn't bother asking. He's such a geek, but I love him awful! Helps that I'm a geek too, I guess, but I have never touched a HAM radio!

So, I'l probably just read and maybe watch some TV. Are you all jealous? I know you are...

10:30pm

--1 sm bowl granola

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: I hear you on husbands being the Diet Busters of the Universe! If my dh worked from home, I'd weigh at least 50 pounds higher. He doesn't mean to make this harder for me I know but he does! Your food today sounds good. And once again, we are alike in the food department! I always scrape off most of the icing, I like the cake the best! I hope you have a great and relaxing weekend!

[pearlieq]

P.S. I would have put that kid with the computer game at the library in a choke hold.

You crack me up! :rotfl2:

[toystoryduo]

My DH is the same way and he does work from home!:eek: I love my DH dearly, but he does have a tendency to bring home snacks that add a lot of calories to my waistline.:rolleyes1

I scrape the icing off of cakes and cupcakes too!:thumbsup2

Hope you have a wonderful day today!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Glad I crack you up, but seriously that is the kind of thing that makes me insane! I go to the library to escape annoying noises and interruptions like that! Hope you are having a nice weekend!

[pearlieq]

4/5/08

9:00am

--1 LC peanut chicken
--1/2 plum
--1 cup milk

I needed to grab some breakfast, but it had to be sustantial an something I could tote over to my mom's. This wound up working.

11:00am

--2 sf popsicles

1:30pm

--1 snack size Mounds bar

2:30pm

--1 big toasted cheese sandwich
--1 handful goldfish
--1 grape Propel

Oh my God, I'm going to die! I am so out of shape. I volunteered to help my mom clean out her fridge and it was really, really hard work! It hadn't been done in years, so it was really dirty and there was just so much to pull out and clean. At one point I was practically in the fridge myself scraping up flotsam.

Now that it's done I'm glad we did it. It's sparkling clean and it really made her happy, which makes me happy. But I seriously thought I was going to die there toward the end. And then I still had to make the grocery store run. Whew!

8:00pm

--3 big jerk chicken skewers
--1/2 cup jambalaya
--1/4 cup mystery chicken rice dish
--3/4 cup mashed potatoes
--2 marshmallows
--a healthy scoop of vanilla ice cream w/a bit of caramel sauce

Wow--this food really had a kick to it! It was quite tasty though. I got full pretty fast (for me, that is) and the spice also curbed the urge to overeat, so I actually feel really good about this.

The party was so-so. At first we were a bit afraid we were at the wrong party since we didn't recognize anyone. They honestly didn't go our of their way to be too friendly. It seemed like 2 of the couples there knew each other and were a pretty tight circle and the other couple was kind of aloof. No big deal, but it did remind me that I should really make at effort at parties to make sure everyone is included.

Later on, once the birthday girl arrived and a couple of friends of hers we did know showed up, we settled into polite party small talk. I think I'm becoming an old fuddy-duddy in my elder years here. Neither DH nor I drink--we both take a medicine that you can't mix with alcohol. But even before that, I never really enjoyed the taste of alcohol so I only drank rarely, and he never had more than a beer or two.

This was much more of a hard-partying crowd. The birthday girl and her sister were both thoroughly toasted by evening's end, as were a couple of the other ladies. Everyone else was just drinking socially and they were fine, but my friend and her sister tend to get a bit, er, animated, when they drink a lot. This one lady was completely bombed and wound up getting into a fight with her husband, who was trying to take her home. Lucky him. :rolleyes:

I just don't get it. I can kind of understand why my friend had a lot--I guess if you can't let your hair down and have a bit too much to drink on your 30th birthday, when can you? But for her sister and some of the other ladies, it seemed like this was a big part of their life. All they talked about for a solid hour was what they had to drink recently, stories from when they got really drunk, and what they were going to drink. Do they really have nothing better to do or say? It was just kind of boring. You'd think most people would outgrow their fascination with getting drunk in their early 20's or so.

Or maybe we're just becoming sticks in the mud. It just seems like at every party, most people have a few drinks and are fine, but there's always one or two who just take it too far and put a damper on things for everyone else.

[pearlieq]

4/6/08

10:30am

--1 sm bowl granola

Ah, we have the whole day to oursleves! We need to go over the taxes and get those ready to send in, but other than that, nothing!

It's supposed to be a really nice day too. I'm looking forward to getting out.

2:00pm

--2 soft breadsticks
--the broth from a bowl of french onion soup
--1 BLT
--1 yeast roll w/2 whipped butter tubs and one jelly packet
--more than a few of DH's fries w/ranch dressing
--2 or 3 melon chunks

Typical Sunday morning. DH wanders downstairs around 1pm, starving hungry. I was also super hungry and by the time we made it to the local diner, I was ready to eat my napkin! I wound up really overdoing it on the breadbasket and DH's fries. This place has the best ranch dressing and it's soooooo good with their fries.

I'm fighting the urge to munch all afternoon. I need to find something to do with myself. DH's cast is really bothering him, so after running a few errands we had to go back home. We've got all the windows open to enjoy the spring air, but it still pains me to be indoors. I think I'm going to head to the grocery store. At least that gets me out a little bit!

7:45pm

--1 footlong sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub
-- big handful of sour cream & onion ruffles
--the end of a leftover Coke
--3 good sized chocolate chunk cookies
--12oz milk

Yipes I'm full! That's the problem with letting yourself get super hungry before you eat!

DH and I are kicking around the idea of buying the deluxe dining plan for our upcoming trip. We can see some upsides to it, but it could easily turn into Eatapalooza 2008, so I'm going to have to mull it over a bit more.

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

I know what you mean about the party thing. We went to a Christmas party last year and everyone was drinking like crazy! :eek: My DH and I don't drink often so we felt really out of place.

Were you able to get your taxes done? The weather was too nice here to work on taxes this weekend. I will get them done soon though.....I have no choice!:lmao:

Hope you have a great day ahead!:hug:

[pearlieq]

4/7/08

9:45am

--1 light yogurt cup
--1 apple
--a healthy sprinkle of granola

Yum!

Poor DH is off this morning to get his cast cut off and redone. I don't think he'd recommend this experience to anyone. But at least we're at the halfway point.

I've got some work to do this morning, and then grocery shopping is definitely on my list for this afternoon/evening. Our fridge is pretty much holding soda and condiments!

12:00pm

--1/2 side salad w/ranch
--1/3 prime rib french dip sandwich
--1/2 barbecue chicken wrap
--1/2 order fries

Ugh. DH strikes again. He came home from his dr appointment this morning pushing to go out for lunch. It did sound like fun, but I was just getting hungry, so I was having a hard time thinking of something that sounded good.

Unfortunately, there aren't really that many "good" restaurants very close to us. And since it's the middle of the workday, I needed to stay close to home. So, basically our choices were fast food, a bunch of mom-and-pop diners, and basic casual places like Chili's or Applebees. Nothing sounded good. I didn't want a greasy burger or sandwich, and I really didn't feel like dropping lots of money on lunch, which is what would have happened with DH at a Chili's/Applebees because he never pays any attention to prices. He just orders whatever he wants and usually pushes for appetizers on top of our meal, so I can't even get out of a mediocre meal at Applebees for less than $40!

I wish we had some nicer places by us, or some good cafes/fast casual shops. I'm so sick of paying a lot of money for greasy, insipid food. I suppose the obvious solution would be to cook at home, but we really do like to go out. I just wish we had better options locally.

We wound up at Red Robin. I'm not a huge fan, but I realized that nothing was going to sound great to me, so I told DH to pick whatever we wanted. I figured at least one of us should be happy. It was great to spend time with DH, but we wound up spending $36 on, essentially, a couple of sandwiches. They tasted OK, but nothing earth-shattering. What a waste...

3:00pm

--2 good-sized chocolate chip cookies

A little afternoon snack. I was feeling hungry, now I'm stuffed. If I didn't know any better I'd say someone snuck in and lap-banded me without my knowledge or something. I dunno.

Work sucks.

5:45pm

--a little less than half of a family size chicken/rice entree
--1/2 cup pineapple
--1 mini bagel w/margarine

DH and I got to have a nice dinner together. Work still sucks, but it sucks a little less because my stupid early meeting got cancelled. I still have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day.

9:00pm

--large handful Ruffles
--2 chocolate chip cookies
--1 cup milk

As usual, I'm hungry. I always am when we cook dinner in. This hit the spot. Not terribly nutritious, but at least not totally out of control.

[pearlieq]

4/8/08

9:00am

--1 Activia light cup
--1 chocolate chip cookie

This was kind of an impulsive grab. Next time I should grab a South Beach bar or something. I was just hungry and it sounded good. It's kind of like having a doughnut and a Diet Coke for breakfast, right?

I have no idea what today is going to hold, work-wise, but I think this is going to be a long week. DH is going to be gone until late this evening, so I think I'm going to treat myself to Chinese food and Sense & Sensibility tonight. I'm looking forward to it already!

12:00pm

--2 big grilled cheese sandwiches
--large handful chips
--2 chocolate chip cookies
--1 cup milk

A few carbs to go with my stress. It hasn't gotten too bad for me personally yet, but my whole team is up in arms. It's really not a good environment. We had a team meeting this morning and it was pretty evenly split between people who were furious, people who were just defeated, and people who were laughing to keep from crying.

I'm just not willing to go through what I did last year. All of the "above & beyond" has been drained out of me. I'll put in my 8 hours, but that's it. This job, while I would like to keep it for a while longer, is just not worth it.

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

How is the Activia yogurt? Is it tasty? My MIL really likes it and wants me to try it.

I'm sorry to hear that it may be a long week ahead workwise. I'm sending :wizard: :wizard: your way. I think your plan to treat yourself to some good food and a good book (or movie) sounds great!:cloud9:

Have a wonderful day!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am so sorry you have this work stress, that really stinks given the things you are going through with your mom. You are a good daughter to go over there and clean up her frig, a weaker person would have thrown in the towel or just bought a new frig! I think you are making headway with your portions, that is progress! I hate to cook too and we often end up eating out. We don't have a lot in the way of gourmet places around here either. Its fast food or chain food I'm afraid! Just keep doing what you are doing, you are making yourself accountable and you are getting in touch with food and feelings. Thats an awesome foundation for success. Hang in there with work. :hug:

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq~

I'm sorry to hear about the stress at work. :( I'm sending some :wizard: :wizard: your way. I hope the situation at work improves soon.:goodvibes

Have a great Wednesday!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hey Pearlieq, hope you had a great day today!

[Lesli54]

Just letting you know that I am back and will catch up on your journal later. Sounds like the work situation is a real drag right now. Hang in there, I know that you will think things through and figure out how to best deal with the situation, even if that means leaving. I had a job once that made me cry on my way to work, it was so stressful. Needless to say, as soon as something came along, I was out of there. Sending you support in the meantime.:hug: ::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

4/10/08

8:30am

--1/2 order lasagna
--1 garlic roll
--1 glass Coke

Oh, where to start, where to start? When was I even here last? Tuesday?

This has been a rotten week so far. Work really stinks. Basically, annoying guy set off a huge firestorm with our client that sent us scrambling for days to check and recheck everything we've done for the last 18 months. He basically accused us, in front of the client, of not doing our jobs, or doing them very shabbily. It's completely untrue and deeply insulting, given what many of us have given up to get things going for this client.

Frankly, for doing that and for creating the problems we have now, I think annoying guy should be fired. But no one seems to have any control over him. On top of his usual disrespect (treating people like servants, showing up to meetings 20 minutes late and completely unprepared, etc.) he created a hugely damaging issue this week. It's just so frustrating and demoralizing.

So that's pretty much been my week. It has thrown everything off. I haven't cooked since Monday, I'm pounding Ruffles and sugar soda like it's going out of style, and basically reacting in my same maladaptive way. Sigh.

At least it should be over(ish) soon. And I'm going to WDW in 2 1/2 weeks.

2:00pm

--sm order beef & broccoli
--sm carton rice, w/butter
--more Coke

Food grabbed quickly between tasks today.

7:00pm

--1 bowl Raisin Bran Crunch

I think I ate some more this afternoon. I remember the rest of the Ruffles and the Coke, and maybe a couple of jelly beans. Was that it? I have food amnesia.

9:00pm

--1 Baconator sandwich
--1 crispy chicken sandwich, plain.

OK, note to anyone listening. Do not, under any circumstances, order a hamburger called a Baconator.

I was really hungry when DH called offering to pick up dinner on his way home (he got stuck late at a Dr appt.). Bacon sounded good, but their little junior bacon cheeseburger sounded too small. So, I went with the other opetion, the Baconator.

Hopefully, if I sit real still for the rest of the night, I won't have a heart attack.

You'd think it would taste great, but it was really too greasy and fatty to enjoy. It comes with a side of self-loating and a fear of imminent death. It's just sitting my stomach.

I'm glad I at least had sense enough not to get fries and a drink. But really, heed the warning. No Baconator!

[pearlieq]

4/11/08 - Finally Friday!

9:15am

--1 Activia light cup
--1 small banana

Tracy--the Activia cups taste pretty good. I don't know if I've noticed any specific benefit, but I've only been eating them sporadically. As yogurt cups go, they're handy, taste good, and have 3 grams of fiber each. I'll probably keep buying them. I will warn you that the raspberry cups have seeds in them, which get stuck in my teeth. Yes, I'm actually a 90 year old woman. :rolleyes:

I have no idea what to expect, work-wise, today. I'm scheduled for client meeting all afternoon, but annoying guy is running them. I don't know if I'm going to be just hanging out and listening in or if I'm going to be on the spot with questions. This thing is just SO badly managed!

Whatever, though. At least it's Friday. DH and I are going over to mom's in the morning for chores, and then I think we'll get together with her tomorrow evening as well. Sunday we're going to an open house to see a friend of ours who has been ill. It's kind of a "I'm feeling better, come see me!" party. Should be nice.

Somewhere in there we need to get the taxes together, and all of the blankets, linens, and pillows on our bed need a bath. That should pretty much fill up the weekend.

11:30am

--1 1/2 pieces leftover pan pizza

I was very hungry and having another mad craving for Chinese food. Unfortunately, that wasn't practical right now, but DH's leftover pizza from the other night did the trick.

I've decided DH and I need to get out tonight. I've got to find us something fun to do.

2:00pm

--1 small banana

I'm stuck on the conference call from hell. It's been over an hour and they have yet to cover anything relevant to me. Ugh. I'm supposed to be on for the next 2 hours.

Not to mention, one half of our dynamic duo of a management team stressed a million times yesterday that we wouldn't be reviewing one specific schematic that we were all working on. So what is her opening question in the meeting in front of the client? "So, do you guys want to go through X schematic?" UGH! I'm not sure how this could be any worse managed.

It kind of stinks because it's affecting me physically. My stomach is in knots, I'm queasy, and I feel a headache coming on. Not good!

4:00pm

--2 pieces wheat toast w/margarine & jam
--scant 1/4 cup jelly beans

5:00pm

--1 bowl raisin bran crunch

Still hungry

6:30pm

--1/2 sesame chicken combo platter w/eggroll
--1/2 order Chinese donuts

MUST stop ordering Chinese donuts. They are little bits of fried dough coated in sugar. Baby carb bombs.

9:30pm

--large piece raspberry coffee cake.

Sadly, not good. Oh well. We've wound up having a very quiet night of Chinese food and TiVo. I wouldn't mind a bit more excitement, but we'd both had a long day. I really wish there was more to do around here. We need to get better about making an effort to make plans, have people over, etc.

At least I know what we're doing two weekends from now!

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq,

I'm sorry to hear about all of the stress at work right now. :( I'm sending more :wizard: :wizard: your way...I hope it gets better for you soon.:goodvibes

Thanks for the info about the Activia yogurt.:goodvibes

I hope you have a good weekend. :hug: We're still working on taxes too. I can't wait until April 15th is over!;)

[pearlieq]

4/12/08

9:00am

--1 pkt weight control oatmeal
--2 mini boxes raisins
--1 Activia cup

Breakfast at my mom's. Unfortunately, it wasn't really good news from the PET scan. The cancer spread to a lot more bone sites, mostly in her upper body. And there's still activity in the lower body sites, even after radiation. It appears to be pretty aggressive and growing fast, though luckily it's still all in her bones as far as we know. There's also a very small something on her liver, but it's too small to know what it is yet.

The next think her oncologist wants to try is an oral version of one of the chemo drugs she had during the first round. This is hardcore stuff--the list of side effects is a mile long and each one is scarier than the next. She actually tolerated it OK the first time, but who know how this new form will go. She's really worried about trying to work through this, but she has to make it until next January to be able to retire. We're all so worried and just trying to figure out what to do.

1:30pm

--3 pieces pizza
--3 pieces crazy bread
--1 nsa Drumstick cone

DH came over later in the afternoon to help with some things at moms. We were very hungry, so we got pizza from the Little Caesar's up the road. It was a lot better than I remember.

At least today was pretty productive--we got a lot done. We had hoped to be able to hang out with mom tonight, but she wasn't up to it, and she still had her taxes to do.

There's just so much I want to do for her and do with her, and it's really hard to accept that we just don't have unlimited time or money. We'll do the best we can, I guess.

8:30pm

--2 pieces fried mozzarella w/marinara
--4 sm pieces Italian bread w/dipping oil, herbs, and cheese (yum!)
--not quite half an order of chicken mezzaluna with tomato cream sauce
--1/2 sm piece lasagna
--1/3 cup broccoli w/oil & garlic
--few bites chicken parmesan
--really tasty poundcake/fruit/pudding dessert (fairly reasonable size, for a restaurant)

DH and I went out for a lovely dinner tonight at a restaurant called Carrabba's. It was really very tasty--I liked the bread with the herb and cheese oil a lot. The mezzaluna were great, and the lasagna was out of this world! It was very creamy and rich. The dessert was really fantastic, too. It was pound cake topped with strawberries, crushed pineapple, banana pudding, and whipped cream. Delicious!

On the plus side, I ordered water to drink, and didn't eat to the point I was painfully stuffed. I suppose that sounds a little funny, but for me that's pretty good. I wasn't too crazy about the fried mozzarella, and I wish I'd stopped eating it sooner, but at least I did leave one piece behind. I also stopped eating the chicken parm when I realized I didn't care for it too much (I think they have an herb in their breading mixture that I don't care for).

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am so sorry that pet scan didn't come back with better news. Hopefully the oral chemo will do what it needs to do. Just know that I am thinking about you and really send prayers and well wishes your way. You are going to get through this and your mom is lucky to have you and she clearly knows that. One good thing about a thing like this, it really makes you cherish the ones you love.

Hang in there with the work stress and take no you know what off of anybody. With all you are going through, you don't need to have that in your life too (like you didn't figure that out on your own).

Have a nice weekend and Chinese Donuts sound really good. I may have to try those little carb bombs myself!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[pearlieq]

4/13/08

10:30am

--3 eggs, scrambled with abt. 1/2oz. cojack cheese on top
--3 light sausage links
--2 pieces Brownberry toast w/margarine
--1 cup sliced strawberries

We were going to go out for breakfast, but I managed to convine DH to cook in. I like going out as much as the next girl, but I can get eggs & toast on the table in 5 minutes and save us $20.

We're going to our friend's party later this afternoon. It will be really good to see them--the husband was in the hospital for quite a while and they've had a lot to deal with.

I can't arrive at someone's house empty-handed, but we struggled a while to figure out what to bring. She's had weight loss surgery and he's got a very difficult case of diabetes, so food was out. He's nearly blind, so reading material and movies were out. We finally settled on a remote control Jeep. He's very much a kid at heart, and we figured he could amuse himself with that when he gets bored.

Other than that, I may make a grocery store run, and, of course, ye olde taxes need to get finished.

1:30pm

--1 med bowl nachos w/beef, shredded cheese, & sour cream
--2 cups Kool-Aid
--1 cupcake
--1 sugar cookie
--2 sm squares apple strudel

I think that was it. I didn't eat nearly as much as I thought I would. It was nice to see our friends--they're both looking really good and seem to be managing well. They had fun with the remote control car.

We finished the taxes when we got home. As it turns out, we owed the Feds a little less than we thought we would, and we wound up getting a refund from the state. I was happy! It washes out to a little less than half of what I was expecting. So yay.

I think that's all the excitement we're going to have today. I'm going to head to the grocery store, and DH is just relaxing. You'd think two people with very few responsibilites and reasonably decent means would lead a more exciting life, wouldn't you?

7:30pm

--my leftover orange chicken

It's kind of a 2 part dinner tonight. We had some leftover Chinese, but not really enough for a whole meal. So, DH got sandwiches from Subway and we mixed that with the leftovers. I'm not ready for my sandwich yet, so I'll get it a little later.

10:00pm

--the top of the rest of my coffee cake
--1 glass milk

I got rid of the rest of the pastry, but saved the top part with the filling and icing. That's the best part anyway. I never wound up getting around to my sandwich, but that's OK. It will be nice tomorrow.

Magellan is being such a little imp tonight! Every time we turn around he is harassing and pouncing on his sister! I don't know what has gotten into him tonight. Maybe a round of fetch will get some of this energy out of him.

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: Great job staying in for breakfast. You saved some money and a bunch of calories! That is so sweet you brought your friend that gift, I hope they both do well with their health issues. Diabetes is so scary. Congrats on not owing as much to the feds as you thought, that must be a huge relief! I think its great you had a quiet day. Sounds exciting to me (but I am a homebody who loves to veg ;) ) Hope the rest of your weekend was a good one!

[Lesli54]

Good evening, Pearlieq!

Finally, I have caught up on your journal. So many parties lately, how do you keep it up?;) On the note of journaling honestly, yes, it is painful sometimes, but if we don't then we are still fooling ourselves. Also, you mentioned the "something's wrong" factor. I know the thought that goes through one's head that it could be a medical thing, but maybe you should consider that it is more a mental thing. You do have a lot of stress going on, but there may also be some other emotional issues or thought processes that you haven't really dealt with. Check out some books that deal with those types of issues or processes (Bob Greene's Best Life, Dr. Phil, and there are others). I will be honest, some of it is "painful" to come to terms with, but I would rather deal with the mental issues because I can change those things much more easily than I can change a physical "something's wrong". It's at least worth looking into. I can say that by doing this, I was loosing quite a bit of weight last time since I wasn't substituting food for feelings. This time there are different stressors, so I need to work at it again, but I do know that the work I did before wasn't wasted since this last Christmas, I was able to look at my Dad in a different way and begin new conversations with him which really eased the tensions.

Too bad you are going to WDW so soon.......only because we will miss each other by a few weeks.:laughing: It sounds like your DH will be thankful to get that cast off in time.

My heart goes out to you in helping your mom deal with her health.:hug: I know this is a tough time, but hopefully, you guys will take advantage of every moment you can and try to keep a positive attitude as much as possible because that will greatly help the spirits. Keeping you in my prayers.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq~

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's pet scan results. :( We will be praying for her and for you as well.:hug:

Great job having breakfast at home!:thumbsup2 We went out to eat this morning with my in laws and 3 out of the 5 adults were served spoiled food!:eek: We probably should have stayed home for breakfast too. ;) We would have saved money, calories, and the headache of sending the food back.

We got our taxes done today too! Now, we both can celebrate!:banana:

I hope you have a good evening! Sending :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: for your week ahead.:hug:

[pearlieq]

4/14/2008

8:45am

--half of my sandwich from last night.

Yum!!! This is so tasty. I predict the other half does not have long to live.

I talked to my mom this morning--so far, so good on the new meds. She's been on them for a day now, and side effects are supposed to show up pretty quickly if they're going to show up. Hopefully she'll do OK. Thanks so much for the prayers and good wishes.

1:15pm

--3 crispy strips w/3 pkts honey
--1 biscuit
--1 side coleslaw
--1 side mac & cheese
--4 boneless wings

I was starving by the time DH made it home with lunch. He had his cast redone this morning. It's not quite as long as the old one, but it's still just as heavy, according to him. He's going to have it until next Thursday, 3 days before we leave! Hopefully all goes well.

It's been a pretty quiet day so far. Just some routine stuff at work and some laundry. I actually got myself excited about laundry when I realized I could set things aside to pack! Hey, whatever works!

4:30pm

--the other half of my sandwich

5:00pm

--scant 1/4 cup jelly beans

Some afternoon munching. I had some files to finish up for work--it was just the tedious stuff (formatting, parsing, etc) but it felt better just to stick around a little later and get it done.

7:30pm

--6 pierogis
--2 servings light smoked sausage
--1 applesauce cup
--1 T sour cream
--3/4 cup peas

Hey! We cooked dinner in. We do so much better when it's easy and brainless. All I have to do for this one is dump things in a pot of boiling water and pop open a can of peas. I can handle that.

9:00pm

--firsts and seconds on a homemade dessert cake

I had this very tasty dessert at the restaurant we went to Saturday, and DH and I figured we could probably recreate it in a diabetic-friendly fashion. I bought a box of the new Pillsbury Reduced Sugar yellow cake mix and made up half the box in a 2.5 qt casserole. Once that was cool, we layered on crushed pineapple, sliced bananas, sugar free vanilla pudding, and sugar free cool whip.

DH loved it. I thought it was pretty good too, but I need to tweak it a bit. I think it needed a bit more pineapple, and a bit more flavor in the pudding layer--maybe coconut? But it's a solid dessert option and it's going to be fun to experiment with it.

[pearlieq]

4/15/08 - Happy Tax Day!

10:00am

--1 portion leftover dessert cake

I love all the people here who have sensible things like eggs, oatmeal, and yogurt for breakfast. Not here! Dessert cake? Why not? It has fruit, it has dairy. At least it's not too sugary.

I'm having an irritating morning with Annoying Guy. He's either being deliberately dense or only ready every other line of my emails. Here's this morning's exchange:

AG: Did you get a chance to look at those data points we talked about last week?

ME: As I mentioned to you multiple times last week, the file you provided me doesn't actually include the data points. It includes information about them, but not the actual points that I can look up.

AG: Here's a copy of the file. It's on tab one.

ME: Yes, this is the file that we're talking about. Unfortunately, it still doesn't have the data points I need to look up. Could you add them in?

ARGH! I wonder how long this exchange is going to go on. And when I'm finally going to snap!

12:30pm

--1/2 bowl chicken soup
--1 roll w/whipped butter & jelly
--1/2 breadstick
--1/2 chicken tender wrap
--a few of DH's fries w/ranch
--a few bites fruit
--1 1/2 Cokes
--raspberry sherbet ice cream cone

Lunch out with DH! I love this part of him working from home--it's great to have my favorite lunch buddy right there.

Our meal was quite good--I feel like a grazed my way through it. A bit of this and a bit of that. I got a regular Coke because I felt a TOM-induced headache coming on. That and the Advil I popped seemed to take care of things. I realized after all that grazing that I really didn't need to eat the other half of my sandwich, so I asked them to box it up. Yay me!

Back to a dull afternoon of updating documentation. Anyone wanna trade?

4:00pm

--the other half of my sandwich.

At least it was a pretty productive afternoon. I got a bit piece of documentation almost done. I just need to polish it up tomorrow and then get it off my desk!

7:30pm

--2 sausage, egg, & cheese bisuits
--1 pkt Pop Tarts
--10 chocolate cookies
--1 glass milk

I could have lived with it all except of all those cookies. I just started eating and kept going. Not great. At least I resisted when DH offered to bring home food after his class. I think I've done enough for one day.

DH has been gone all evening, so after I finished up my work I settled in front of the TV to watch a movie I'd recorded. It was an English drawing-room piece, and I had seen it in high school, though I must not have paid attention very well. I watched it again today and had gotten absorbed in the love story. Unfortunately, the movie only let them be together for about 3 minutes, then he was killed in the trenches in WWI. Quite a bummer of an ending, wouldnt you say?

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

Your cake sounds pretty good. I think you should try the SF French Vanilla pudding to add a bit more flavor. It is the only vanilla pudding that I will use because I think the taste is better than regular vanilla.

Sorry to hear about ol' "AG" going at it again this morning. Hmmmmmm, ways to deal with him? :rolleyes: I can only imagine all the emails that this guy must be getting from everyone else as well. It is a shame that he can't really be dealt with since it sounds like he is costing your company more money in wasted time than anything else. Well, at least it is nice out today, so before you reach that breaking point go take a walk before raiding the cupboards. The fresh air won't make him go away, but at least it will calm you down.

Keeping you in my thoughts today.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[goldcupmom]

Your dessert sounds really yummy, Pearlie! But maybe you should add some chocolate to liven it up!! :lmao:

Sorry to hear about your mom, but glad the meds are ok so far. I'll be praying for all of you as I know this is a really tough time.

Also praying that DH cast really comes off for your trip. Can't believe it's almost here.

Have a good rest of the week. Don't let AG get the better of you - maybe he's from NM, then there is at least an excuse!!

Hang in there!!!

[toystoryduo]

Sorry to hear that AG is still being a pain in the you-know-what.:headache:

Your breakfast sounds yummy!!!! :thumbsup2 I'll take a delicious dessert cake over eggs any day!:thumbsup2

I hope you have a good evening!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Ahhh, good old Annoying Guy! At least he's predictable. Good job cooking that dinner in, as a fellow member of the I don't cook too often club, I commend you!

Keeping my fingers crossed that your mom keeps doing well on the new chemo meds. Your family is always in my prayers.

Your trip is so soon, you must be pysched! When do you leave?

I'll "see" you when I get back!

[pearlieq]

4/16/08

8:50am

--2 pop tarts
--1 Activia cup

Well, now I have the rest of the box of pop tarts to contend with. I'm going to try eating them like a normal person and see what happens

The cats have decided on a new hobby--swimming! Our house has a powder room on the main level, and we usually leave the door open. I'd been pretty lax about keeping the commode lid down since they'd never really shown much interest in the past.

Not so anymore, I guess. I went in a couple of days ago to find a mess of water and wet paw prints everywhere! It's usually hard to tell if it was Frick or Frack who did it, so I mopped it up and resolved to be more careful about putting the lid down.

Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time getting back into the habit. I went back in later and must have startled Magellan doing whatever it is he's doing in there. He jumped and scrambled his little self out there, leaving a trail of wet prints. I thought I had my culprit. So, I mopped up yet again and deliverd a stern lecture about why kitties don't need to go swimming.

Sadly, I forgot to put the lid down AGAIN yesterday. Only this time, I walked in on Diana, with her front paws totally in the bowl! I have no idea what she was doing in there, but she didn't look pleased to be interrupted! Heaven only knows what they're doing in there. Maybe they're trying to surprise me by potty training themselves? I hear it can be done... :)

Needless to say, I've been very, very careful about closing the lid. Don't need any more water-skiing kitties!

12:30pm

--2 Lean Pockets
--1 cup baby carrots
--1 cup milk
--3 chocolate cookies

Again, attempting to integrate the cookies back into the land of the living. Normal people have a couple of cookies with lunch.

It's a lovely day today! I've got the window open and we're enjoying the fresh air. The cats adore having the windows open--I think they just like all the new sights, sounds, and smells. It must be somewhat dull to have the same environment every day, so open windows are always a welcome change.

Luckily, I got a couple of huge pieces of documentation done and off my desk today. Yay! Maybe I'll get a little break now.

I'm supposed to be going to a Bunco group tonight. It will be nice to see some of the ladies, but I'm still not too sure whether I want to do this as a regular thing.

***

So yesterday ended with a LOT of food. I got into the cookies again, so I just wound up trashing the rest. I also got into the Pop Tarts again. Then when I went to Bunco, it's not so much that I totally ate a whole bunch of bad things, but I wasn't really being mindful or keeping track. I know I ate a whole bunch of crackers w/ham & cheese, plus munchies at the table. It seemed like every time I got up I cruised past the food again. I just need to make more deliberate choices and not let it be a free-for-all.

[goldcupmom]

That's hilarious about your cats!! Are they looking for cold water?

You can conquer the pop tarts! (hmmmmm....what flavor are they??)

Have a great Wednesday!!

[Lesli54]

Water skiing kitties!:rotfl2: :rotfl2:

Congrats on getting a good portion of your work done. With all the stress of that, I bet you are glad to get some of it out of the way.

I think you did great on food yesterday...well, of course the cookies was another thing, but at least you recognize it and are trying to change your outlook on "fun" foods. So chalk up some big points there.:banana: Today's food is looking good as well.

Hope that you have a relaxing day and enjoy those open windows!::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

4/17/08

9:00am

--2 pkts Pop Tarts (frosted strawberry :) )
--1 glass milk

Well this isn't a very good start. I woke up cranky and depressed (thanks, TOM!) and then Annoying Guy struck again. I actually got an email from him last night at 11:00pm asking if I was online. Uh, no dude, I was chatting with my husband and getting ready for bed like a normal person.

Oh well, at least I was able to dispense with him pretty quickly this morning. And I'm about to get a whole week off from him!

1:00pm

--1 footlong turkey breast stub w/bacon
--1 pkt barbecue chips

I knew I was going to have an annoying call this afternoon so I treated myself to a tasty lunch. Luckily I don't think afternoon is going to be all that bad. I should make an effort to be productive--maybe I'll tackle the laundry.

5:30pm

--1 portion spaghetti pie
--garlic bread
--baby carrots
--1 glass milk

I missed my afternoon snack, so I was starving by the time DH got home. Something went wrong with his cast this afternoon, so he had to make a detour to the doctor's office to have him check it out. Guess what! He took it off! I guess DH's wound is healed, though he's still got to wear his special boot and take it easy until the skin toughens up a little bit. You can imagine how happy he was to have his peg leg off.

He brought home Juno for us to watch, which was fun. I had seen it in the theater and really liked it, and I thought he would too. It was nice to relax together.

9:30pm

--1 2/3 gordita crunches
--1 chicken fiesta burrito
--1/2 pint Ben & Jerry's

Late night munchies.

[toystoryduo]

TOM + Annoying Guy =:faint: I'm sorry both are being a pain right now. :( Sending some anti-TOM/Annoying Guy :wizard: :wizard: your way. ;)

That is too funny about your cats! :laughing:

I hope you have a great evening ahead!:hug:

[goldcupmom]

Hope Mr. Annoying wasn't too bad this afternoon. Just keep focusing on the trip.. VERY SOON!!!

Have a great Friday!!

[pearlieq]

4/18/08

12:45pm

--broth from a bowl of chicken orzo soup
--2 yeast rolls w/butter & jam
--1/2 chicken pesto panini
--few bites pasta salad
--fries w/ranch

I was so hungry--I wound up fasting this morning so I could get my lab work done for my physical. Unfortunately, this wasn't very good, but at least I got to eat.

I'm so happy--only one more work week left until WDW! And I only had to hear from AG once this morning!

3:30pm

--1/2 pt. ice cream

Yum!

8:45pm

--fettucine with meat sauce
--garlic roll
--1/2 garlic cheese bread
--1 can Coke!

I'm starving! Didn't get much of a chance to eat during the afternoon, which was fine. The ice cream hit the spot in TOM-land. DH and I got into kind of a tiff this evening--I'm getting kind of overwhelmed being responsible for everything. We wound up talking it out, but again, I was more emotional than I would have been, given how hormonal I was.

I spent the rest of the evening trying to track down a memory book and gift for one of mom's coworkers who is retiring next week. I completely struck out at our local mall, so I'm going to have to keep at it this weekend.

[Lesli54]

Hormones or not, I hear you on being overwhelmed with alot of the responsibilities. My DH has convinced himself that I like to be in charge all the time so I ENJOY having all the responsibilities. No matter how many times I have told him that it isn't the case. Even when we work it out, I basically have to design the new system and let him know what is going on, so you can imagine where all the responsibility lands yet again after a short time.:sad2: Personally, I am thinking that it is a guy thing. They see the details that need to be taken care of at work, but they can't see it at home.:confused3

Your food is looking good, keep up the awesome job!::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

4/19/08

9:00am

--1 toasted cheese sandwich

Breakfast at my mom's--she makes these really well. We got time for a nice chat today, which was fun. There was a lot of shopping today, which was kind of tiring. It was good to sit down for a while.

3:00pm

--Indonesian peanut saute w/whole grain noodles & tofu.
--most of a chocolate dipped Twinkie

My favorite meal at Noodles & Co. I was so starved! DH took care of some chores around the house today while I was at my mom's and I was very grateful. We wound up not getting out for lunch until late and I was so hungry. Unfortunately, we were due to have dinner with friends only a couple of hours later, but I just couldn't hold out.

They put in a new Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory next door to the Noodles & Co, and we couldn't resist stopping in. We picked up some big caramel apples to share with our friends after dinner, and I was fascinated by the chocolate Twinkie and had to get one. It was one of those things that sounds so much better than it really is, though it was pretty good. I couldn't finish all of it, though, which was for the best.

6:00pm

--some of a salad w/ranch
--1/2 chicken breast with barbecue, cheese, & bacon
--1/2 of my mashed potatoes
--a few steamed veggies
--2 sm slices bread

Dinner was tasty, but I didn't have much of an appetite for it, so I took half of it home.

I was a little perturbed with my friend--apparently she was having stomach troubles and not feeling well, but instead of cancelling she decided to keep our dinner date. So now not only did she expose us to whatever the heck she's got a week before our trip, but she sat there looking uncomfortable at dinner and only ordered a soup that she didn't even touch. Why not just cancel? We wouldn't have been mad at all.

So, if anyone's got any pixie dust for us, it would be appreciated. I hope we don't get anything from her, or, if we do, that it comes and goes before we leave!

7:45pm

--2 sections (each 1/8th of an apple) of fancy dancy caramel apples.

Yum! Our friend's kids gobbled up a lot, but I did get once piece of each apple, and they were delightful.

10:00pm

--2 McD's cheeseburgers
--1/2 order fries
--2 apple pies

Late night munching--hungry again.

[pearlieq]

4/20/07 - One week to go!

11:30am

--few bites cinnamon roll
--eggs benedict
--couple of bites DH's sampler
--hashbrown casserole
--orange juice

This was wonderful! We met our friends for brunch at a restauant a few towns over and the food was amazing!!! It was incredibly reasonable, too, especially given the outstanding quality of the meal. It was warm enough to sit outside, too, so that was wonderful.

I really like this couple--they're so friendly, and very down to earth. They're also very considerate and we have a lot of the same interests. They have the most adorable towheaded little son--he is seriously one of the cutest kids I have ever seen and he's so well behaved. I guess he actually put himself in the naughty corner this week at home. :rotfl2:

Poor DH accidentally grabbed an empty insulin pen before we left, so between getting his dose late and having that rich breakfast, he's now fast asleep on the sofa. For my part, I'm starting all of my to-do lists and all so I can get prepared for next week.

You know what the most fun thing is going to be? Tomorrow morning, first thing, I get to send an email to Annoying Guy telling him I'm going to be gone all next will and that I will NOT be reachable! Too fun!

And now, for my other favorite part of the pre-trip planning, it's time to play This Time Next Week (TTNW)! So, here we go:

TTNW: We have the first flight out of Chicago next Sunday--6:30am. That means we'll be leaving home around 3:30am. Yipes! Hopefully all goes smoothly and we land at MCO at 10:00am. I'll collect the luggage and DH will sign for the rental car and we should be on our way to WDW right away!

We're going to head straight for the Boardwalk to check in and get things all settled up. We decided on the Deluxe Dining Plan for this trip. We figured since DH will be moving slow as it is, we might as well spend the time in the parks to try out some of the restaurants we've wanted to visit. I think it will be fun.

I doubt our room will be ready right away and I'm sure we'll be starving, so we're going to head down to the ESPN Club for our first lunch! It's a favorite of DH's and I know he's looking forward to going.

After lunch, if our room is ready we'll go get settled, otherwise we'll hang around the pool or go take the boat up to MGM or EPCOT and kill some time.

5:00pm

--1 sm oatmeal cookie

6:50pm

--1 sm oatmeal cookie

Time to fix some real food...

7:10pm

--sm portion leftover spaghetti pie
--med portion leftover ravioli
--3/4 cup green beans

It's smorgasboard night at our house today--starting to clean out the fridge in anticipation of the trip. Otherwise, it's a pretty quiet night.

So, on to TTNW!

TTNW: We'll try to get to our room as soon as possible. I doubt we'll sleep much the night before, and having gotten up at 3:00am, I'm sure we'll be ready for a nap. After a nap and some unpacking, we'll head back over to MGM for Fantasmic. Best to do it early in the trip when we're excited, but still full of patience! Right about this very moment next week we should have done "the wave" about 50 times. :)

9:30pm

--1 sm oatmeal cookies
--3 fortune cookie
--1 sm bag Ruffles
--1/2 cup frozen grapes

Evening munchies.

TTNW: After enjoying Fantasmic and lingering on our way out of the park, we'll head back to the Boardwalk for dinner, probably at the Big River Grille. We ate there a couple of trips ago and really liked it. I'm guessing it's going to be lovely night to enjoy the Boardwalk and Crescent Lake.

[Lesli54]

I just love reading your TTNW's. They are always so much fun, plus it helps get me geared up for our trip. We have never been to Fantastmic, do you think that our kids would be old enough to enjoy it? I thought I heard it was long. Oh, and I love the Boardwalk! Such a great place to stay and so central to everything.

I don't know if you have noticed, but even with all your stressors, you have turned your food around in the last few weeks. Better portion control and more balanced meals. Great job!:banana: Of course, the depressing winter weather being finally gone sure does help.;)

Sending you lots of :wizard: :wizard: to keep the stomach bug away. I agree, your friend should have cancelled. Also, have fun emailing AG and telling him that you "cannot be reached". :woohoo:

Hope the rest of your evening is good.::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[toystoryduo]

I love reading your TTNW's too! What a great way to get ready for your trip!:thumbsup2

Sending some :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: your way for dealing with Annoying Guy.

Have a great Monday!:hug:

[pearlieq]

4/21/08

11:00am

--1 sausage, egg, & cheese biscuit
--1 sm bag Doritos
--3 sm smores cookies

Kind of a brunch thing going on this morning. So far it seems to be a nice, quiet day.

I'm trying an experiment with these cookies this week--I bought a pack of those refrigerated ready to bake cookies (or, cookie dough, rather). I figured I'd pop a couple in the toaster oven when I'm feeling like cookies. So far, it seems to be working out.

TTNW: Up and at 'em early this morning. We have an ADR at Hollywood & Vine for breakfast. We're not particularly interested in the characters, but I love the idea of getting into the parks before opening time. We've never done that before, so I'll be curious how it works out.

After breakfast, we'll take a leisurely tour of our favorites--the Great Movie Ride, Voyage of the Little Mermaid, Muppetvision 3-D. One of these days we'll have to wander down to ToT and chicken exit. I love the queue and pre-show, but the ride just makes me sick. I'm also really, really hoping to catch a soft opening of Toy Story Mania. Fingers crossed! It should be a nice, easy morning.

3:00pm

--2 sm pkts chips
--2 pks ramen noodles
--large handful Raisin Bran Crunch
--a few jelly beans

Mini carb bender. I definitley got "the itch" this afternoon where I just had to eat, eat, eat. This is not great, but it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

TTNW: We've got a lunch seating at 50's Prime Time Cafe. DH likes it there a lot since he can get sugar free milkshakes. I like the herb cheese appetizer, myself. I imagine after we finish lunch we'll probably wander out of the park and catch the boat back to our room. We'll get a nice long nap and swim in there somewhere, but I'm not sure in which order.

7:00pm

--2 homemade barbecue chicken biscuit sandwiches
--mixed veggies
--light canned peaches

DH had kind of a rough day at work. I felt bad for him--I know how much that can put a damper on your mood, even outside the office. He wasn't in the mood to do much, so we spent most of the night in front of the TV. It was actually kind of pleasant since we had recorded a lot of shows I like.

TTNW: We wound up backing out of our Hoop Dee Doo plans. We were both kind of curious about it, but we decided we'd rather use both of our meal credits on something else, plus we weren't sure we were crazy about the seating or the menu. We figured there will be a time soon enough when we got back to WDW with a kid in tow, and we'll do it then.

So, instead of that dinner, we're going to go to Planet Hollywood. I think that will be a fun place to experience with the dining plan. We've only been there once--I believe on our honeymoon--so it will be nice to see it again.

9:00pm

--5 small cookies (actually, 4 cookies and one dough bit)
--1 cup light ice cream

Well, I can see the chink in the armor here with the "ready to bake" cookie plan. I think I like the dough better than the cookies!

We'll have to see how that works out this week.

TTNW: After dinner I think we'll just noodle around the shops at DTD and enjoy the evening. I don't want us out too late, since we've got an earlyish morning the next day.

[Lesli54]

Good afternoon, Pearlieq! What a beautiful day!:cool1:

It is nice to have a frozen cookie dough so that you can make the number you need and not have the entire box laying around.

I have never been to ToT and am not sure if I am brave enough. When I was younger, I would have done it, but now I am not sure. The older kids of course love it. But I never thought of going through the queue and leaving before the ride. Interesting idea.:idea:

Hope the rest of your day is a good one.::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[toystoryduo]

Sending some :wizard: :wizard: your way for a Toy Story Mania soft opening during your vacation. I can't wait to see it!!!!:banana:

Hope you have a great Tuesday!:hug:

[pearlieq]

4/22/08

10:40am

--2 Egg McMuffins w/jam

Well this has been a busy morning. I had just come downstairs and was about to log on to work, when my mom called me from her office, saying she'd forgotten her friend's retirement gift at home. His party was at noon.

Luckily, I didn't have my first meeting this morning until 11, so I was able to run by her house and get it up to her office, which is about 40 minutes away. The fates must have been with me since it was a very smooth trip and I got home with plenty of time to spare.

I noticed this morning that I'm showing up about 10 pounds heavier than I was a couple of weeks ago! :scared1: I'm really not sure what that's about. I haven't been eating perfectly for the last couple of weeks by any stretch of the imagination, but I haven't done anything that's really out of the ordinary for me either, and usually my weight is pretty stable.

I thought it was probably just TOM, but as it turned out, TOM was very strange this month. I felt it coming, went through some of the symptoms, but it wound up barely showing up. :confused3 And in the past it had been pretty pronounced on this pill. I had an old test leftover, so I made sure there was nothing a-cooking in there, and there wasn't. Maybe my body is just finally used to this pill? Very odd.

Whatever's going on, the sooner this extra weight would like to go away, the better!

TTNW: Another fairly early morning here. We've got a breakfast seating a the Kona Cafe, though we may wind up cancelling that and just going to Captain Cook's. Or maybe trying for Crystal Palace? I don't know--I can't stop tinkering!

After breakfast, wherever that may be, we'll head over to MK. It should be another leisurely morning--I'm looking forward to Pirates, Big Thunder Mountain (that's about my speed as thrill rides go), the Haunted Mansion, Peter Pan's Flight, Philharmagic, Buzz Lightyear's, and, our all-time favorite, the TTA! :rotfl: There is just nothing like riding around tomorrow land and enjoying a perfect Florida day. DH could probably go for hours, if I let him.

1:30pm

--1 sm pkt chips

3:45pm

--2 sm pkts chips
--1 bowl raisin bran crunch

Well, I've got my biggest bit of "paperwork" done for the week, so now the rest of my week is just going to be questions/fallout and meetings.

TTNW: We have a late lunch at Tony's Town Square--I haven't been there in quite a while either, not for a couple of years at least. After that we'll probably head out of MK and go back to the room for a nap and a swim. It's so relaxing to be on vacation!

6:00pm

--2 cookie dough bites
--1/4 cup jelly beans

Snacks waiting for DH to get home.

7:15pm

--turkey sausage
--6 pierogis
--2/3 cup peas
--1/2 cup applesauce
--1 T sour cream

One more workday done, one day closer to WDW. DH had another irritating day at work--the downside to working in government is definitely politics! I admire him having the patience to put up with it all.

I think I'm just going to do a bit more laundry here, then call it and early night.

TTNW: Another night at Downtown Disney. We have dinner reservations at the Wolfgang Puck Cafe, which is definitely a favorite of mine. Everything there is so wonderful, from the foccacia to start to the key lime pie to end it. I'm really looking forward to this one!

While we're down there we might catch a movie, or maybe wander over to Pleasure Island. We'll see how much energy we have!

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

That's great that you were able to get that gift to your mom with no problems. :goodvibes I know that when I am in a hurry to get things done, it seems like things have a tendency to go south. :rolleyes:

It sounds like you have such a wonderful WDW trip planned!:cloud9: I think that if finances permit, I want to go next spring sometime. We have our annual trip in December and a trip in September w/ free dining, but we haven't been to WDW in April/May since 2003.

Hope you have a great evening!:hug:

[pearlieq]

4/23/08 - 4 days to go!

8:40am

--1 bowl raisin bran crunch

I'm down about 3 pounds this morning, so hopefully whatever water retention/phantom weight thing I had going on is on its way out!

I'm hoping for a nice quiet day today. I have an appointment to give blood over my lunch hour, and then a long boring meeting this afternoon, but that should be about it.

My goal for the day is to get the laundry finished so we can put it all away and pack. We also have to tidy up for the cleaning people, who are coming Thursday morning. That should get a lot of the "house" pre-trip chores done. Yay!

TTNW: Well, we have breakfast reservations at Spoodles and plans to head over to EPCOT around opening time, but I'll be kind of surprised if that actually happens. After two early mornings, I could see us sleeping in a bit. Eventually we'll rustle up some grub and head over to the park. I can't wait to see all my favorites like Soarin', Spaceship Earth, and Test Track. We'll probably wander through both sides of Future World--I wouldn't mind catching the Universe of Energy, Mission Space (the (not so) green side, thank you!), and Turtle Talk with Crush sometime in there too.

11:35am

--1 banana

12:20pm

--1 sm piece cake

1:00pm

--1 12" sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub
--1 sm pkt chips

Back from my bloodletting. The nurse decided to use the vein on the side of my arm instead of the one in the middle, and we won't be doing that again! Ow! Apparently it rolled around on them and they couldn't get in well. They eventually worked it out, but that was not super pleasant. Next time I'll just stick with the nice one in the middle.

They had a cake for secretary's day, so I had a piece of that instead of my usual post-donation snack. Now I'm just eating lunch and enjoying some free time before my super boring 3pm meeting. I can't wait to ditch this job. Someday, right?

TTNW: After a fun morning at EPCOT, we'll meander into World Showcase for the afternoon. We have lunch at Les Chefs de France, which is another favorite of mine. They have the best macaroni & cheese, but I'm hoping to talk DH into splitting one of those and the chicken. We need some protein to stay alert!

After lunch we'll catch our traditional post-lunch nap at Impression de France. I love it in there--it's dark and cool and there's beautiful music. Aah...

5:00pm

--1 nsa pudding cup
--2 cookie dough bits
--something else (whatever it was, it was small)

One more workday done, 2 more to go! Yay! I think DH and I are going to go out for supper tonight--preferably somewhere with outdoor seating. Such a nice night!

TTNW: Once we finish up at EPCOT, we'll catch the boat back to BWV for our normal afternoon swim and siesta. Then, refreshed, we'll head over to MK for the evening. Hopefully we'll have time for a ride or two before dinner.

7:30pm

--half a moderate appetizer platter (1 potato skin, 3 mini tacos, some fried cheese)
--1 Coke
--part of 2 pieces broasted Chicken
--most of DH's fries (not a huge portion)

It was just too nice to stay at home and cook in, so we went to a local diner with outdoor seating. Unfortunately, it was a bit of a dive, but the appetizers were quite good. I finished all the pre-trip laundry, DH loaded the last of the dishes, and I picked up some trashy romance novels to read on the plane. I'm ready to go!!!

TTNW: We have dinner at Liberty Tree Tavern--another favorite of DH's. After that, we'll stake out a spot for Spectromagic. Usually we watch over by Pecos Bill's, but that makes it hard to get situated for Wishes. Last time we were there we stumbled on a great place to watch Wishes--Tomorrowland! It's totally deserted, but you still have a quite clear view of the fireworks and they pipe in the music. However, getting from Frontierland to Tomorrowland between the parade and fireworks sounds like a feat I'm not sure I'm up to. So maybe we can find a nice spot for Spectro somewhere in the Tomorrowland-ish neighborhood. I'll have to think on this.

After closing down MK, it's off to bed!

[toystoryduo]

Four days to go until WDW?!?!?!?:banana: Please take me with you! :)

I hope your meeting goes well today.:goodvibes :wizard:

Thanks for your support in my journal this morning!:hug:

Have a great evening!:goodvibes

[Lesli54]

Congrats on getting rid of the 3 lbs!:cool1: That "mystery weight" is always better when it mysteriously disappears.

You have some great healthy food going today! :cheer2: I can relate on the vein issue. Having someone dig around is no fun, so I agree with you on using the vein that you don't have problems with. I unfortunately don't have easy to find veins, so I just go in asking them who is really good and who can get the draw the first time because there will not be a second time.

All of your TTNW restaurant's sound so good. How do you even decide amongst the many which one you will eat at on a particular day?

Have a great evening.::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

4/24/08

9:30am

--1 banana

Another pound down. Goodbye, mystery weight, goodbye.

So Magellan's in my office having a slow motion fight with the pedal on the steam cleaner. :confused3 I'm not sure what that's about, but he's stalking up to it slowly, then very tentatively reaching a paw out and smacking at it, and then quickly retreating back to safety. He's never had a beef with the steam cleaner before, but maybe it looked at him cross-eyed this morning or something. Who knows with him?

I've got a follow up from my physical today, so I'll be out of the office for part of the afternoon. Then tomorrow I'm actually going downtown to work in the main office for the day since our director is taking us all out for a team lunch. I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand it's a bit of a pain to get up early and go catch the train, but on the other hand it's nice to see everyone and the days usually go by very quickly. Tomorrow is my last day in the office, so if AG wants anything, he better speak up soon!

Speaking of AG, I was talking with a friend yesterday and found out that AG had just won a company-wide performance award! I was horrified and flabbergasted!! My friend was even saying they were talking up how important collaboration was when they were giving him this award. :rolleyes: It sure didn't come from anyone in our department--we think it must have been someone in his chain of command who has never bothered to listen to us before. Why start now? Oh well. It's no big deal, except in the sense that if we had no means to address his behavior before, it sure isn't going to get any better now. Whatever... :sad2:

TTNW: We've got plans for Boma for breakfast this morning, but I'd say it's about 50/50 as to whether we'll actually make it. I'd like to, since it's one of my favorite breakfasts with their yummy frunch juice and pastries, but I just don't know how well we'll do another early morning. We may decide to loll in bed and do room service. I could live with that.

Eventually, though, we will make it over to AK. We haven't seen Festival of the Lion King in the last few trips and I really want to get up there again. Maybe we'll finally try Everest. We also haven't seem some of the smaller shows like Flights of Wonder in a while. I'm looking forward to another fun, lesiurely morning.

12:15pm

--1 single cheeseburger
--1/2 order cheese curds
--1/2 order fries (well, maybe more than my half...)
--1 cherry Pepsi
--1/2 ice cream sundae

Lunch at Culvers. DH was home today and it was nice to get out together. The cleaning people have come and gone, and I'm finishing up Mom's laundry right now, so it's starting to feel like things are coming together!

This was tasty, but perhaps not the smartest choice right before a doctor's appointment. Duh! My blood pressure was showing up a little. My bloodwork came back and looked good except for my liver enzymes and triglycerides - both of which tend to get elevated when you have PCOS and don't eat well or exercise. For the most part, though, I'm in pretty good shape for someone 350+ pounds. But that won't last.

They're having me see a dietician, which may or may not be good. I'd love to see someone good, but I've seen some fairly dingy hospital dieticians who think one method is best for everyone. But I'm willing to give it a try.

TTNW: Once we wrap up at AK, we'll head over for a late lunch at Kona Cafe. I love that place! I really enjoy those tasty sticky wings. They also have a really good no sugar added dessert for DH. After that we might do a spin or two on the monorail or maybe go take the car for a little offsite excursion. Or maybe we'll just head back for another nice afternoon of napping and swimming!

6:15pm

--6" turkey & bacon sub
--6" philly steak sub
--sm pkt barbecue chips
--1 cup milk

We cashed in our change jar in anticipation of our trip! We grabbed dinner on the way home and had great plans of putting away all the laundry and packing, but wound up falling asleep. The nap was actually quite nice. So we wind up packing on midnight on Saturday--why should this trip be any different. :lol:

TTNW: After our afternoon rest, we're spending our last night at EPCOT. We have a dinner seating at Nine Dragons, which we've never tried before. We may stay for Illuminations, or not. It's not a huge draw for us. But we'll enjoy one last beautiful night in the parks.

9:00pm

--2 cookie dough bites
--4 sm cookies

I didn't make it through my whole package of cookies this week, so I threw the rest in the toaster oven to cook tonight. I'm not sure I'd do this one again--I think I'm getting sick of these cookies and I still had a bunch to go. Maybe I'll try making my own homemade dough and freezing individual portions.

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: Your trip plans sound great! I love all your choices and just the way you tour. Sounds like a perfect trip, just a coupe more days! We did the HDDR, it was fun, but you are right going with a kid would be fun. We loved it, the food was tasty and show was good. It wasn't worth $200 for our family (with the DDE discount) but then again it was. Go someday, I think you'd have fun.

Goodbye to the mystery weight, that must feel good! How is your mom? I am speed reading through journals to get caught up and didn't see anything about her but I may have missed it. Just keeping you and her in my good thoughts and prayers.


I see you had a cherry pepsi in there recently. OMG, you and I are so alike! That is a drink straight from heaven!

[pearlieq]

4/25/08 - last workday!

9:30am

--1 bowl Cheerios
--2 mini boxes raisins

I wanted cookies for breakfast, mostly because I let myself get too hungry. This was a better choice.

Another 2.5 lbs down today. I'm within a couple of pounds of normal, so that's reassuring. Of course, this is just in time to go to WDW on the eat, eat, eat plan!

I wound up not going downtown today, which I don't mind too much. It's easier to stick close to home. I have some errands to run and some last chores to do, but we're in pretty good shape. I can't wait!!!

TTNW: Wake up, finish packing, and get around. We'll either go to EPCOT or MGM this morning--whatever tickles our fancy. We'll probably just cobble together breakfast from leftover snack credits--nothing fancy. We'll hit our favorites one more time and just soak up the sights, sounds, and smells that are uniquely WDW.

1:15pm

--2 grilled cheese sandwiches on yummy whole wheat
--3 sm cookies

Whole grain bread makes a darn tasty grilled cheese. The little grain bits get all toasty and crunchy--yum! I used Brownberry this time and it was great.

My goal for the afternoon is to get most of the laundry sorted and put away and start packing for myself. It should be pretty easy--we're going to fly with carryons only and only pack about 3 days worth of clothes. The nice part about DVC is I can just throw a load of laundry in one night and cut my packing in half!

TTNW: After our last morning at EPCOT, we'll get lunch. We have an ADR at Le Cellier, but I really don't care for their new menu, and neither does DH. I think we'll probably wind up cancelling that one had heading over to Wolfgang Puck's for another go. I can never choose between the macadamia chicken and the pumpkin ravioli anyway, so I might as well go twice and get them both!!!

6:00pm

--2 cheesy Gordita crunch tacos
--1 chicken fiesta burrito

We're supposed to get some wild storms tonight! DH is actually out doing weather spotting, which I'm not crazy about, but I can't hold him back. I'm working on my mom's laundry and eventually I'll go start getting papers together and finishing up my packing.

TTNW: After we finish up our late lunch at Puck's, we'll take one last cruise through the DTD stores. I'm going to stop at Earl of Sandwich right before we leave to get a sandwich for my mom. She wasn't feeling well on our last day last time, so she took a sandwich to go home. Unfortunately, her baggage was lost and it didn't make it home for 2 days! So I want to get her one to make up.

Then we'll gas up the rental car and head back to the airport. Except we're not going home. I won't go. They can't make me.

7:15pm

--3 sm cookies
--not quite 1 cup milk

Well, it looks like the storms might be pretty well done, unless there's another line behind what just went through. Not too bad out by us.

[toystoryduo]

Great job on the weight loss, pearlieq!:cheer2: Keep up the good work!:cheer2:

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!:hug:

[Lesli54]

Good afternoon, Pearlieq!:cool1:

Isn't it great to be done with work for awhile? Not too mention some time to relax at WDW in a few days!

Way to go on your breakfast choice this morning and more mystery lbs disappearing. As for the trip, with all that walking, you should be able to burn off alot of the eat, eat, eat plan.

Hoping that you have a good trip and looking forward to hearing more when you get back.::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

4/26/08 - Less than 24 hours to go!

9:00am

--1 activia cup
--abt 2/3 cup Fiber One

Breakfast at mom's, then did the shopping. Everytihing went pretty smoothly. Our neighbor's son is making his first communion today, so we'll be stopping by his party. Then I have to go get my evebrows down, get some paperwork together, pack my travelling backpack and hopefully get some sleep!

I'm mostly excited, but kind of not, if that makes any sense. I'm looking forward to being there, and getting away from here, but traveling can be kind of a hassle. There's a lot of stress/worry during trips--will the flight be on time? Will out bags make it? Will we both be healhty? Will the weather be decent? Will it be super crowded? Are the cats OK? Will we make it back to the airport in time? I guess the closer we get to acutally leaving the more this is rattling through my head. I'm sure it will all be fine, but I worry.

12:30pm

--1 sm pkt Doritos

My knee is acting up (great timing, right?) and I needed to get something on my stomach so I could take some Advil. Hopefully this passes soon.

1:30pm

--1 6" Italian beef sandwich
--chopped salad
--mostaccoli w/roll
--1 lemon bar
--sm piece apple bar
--4 pound cake squares and 1 strawberry run through the chocolate fountain

Confirmation party. They had ordered from Portillos, which was just wonderful. The chocolate fountain was fun--the kids had a good time with it.

7:20pm

--1/2 frozen Home Run Inn cheese pizza

We're making good use of our time here, by watching VH1's Top 100 Songs of the 80's. But we're nearly done. We just have a few odds and ends to put together, and then we're off!

We're getting up at 3:00am to leave. Yipes!

[Lesli54]

Oh, can you pack me in your suitcase? Please!!! I wanna go where it is warmer.;) You just have to be excited about getting out of this crazy "spring" weather.:cool1:

Looks like it's been a good day for you. As for the little worries before the trip, join the club. I don't usually worry about being healthy (altough I should have in Rome) and I only worry about the flights being on time if we are connecting or someone else has to pick me up. My thing, don't know about you, I check everything 15 times. Ok, maybe not that many. I am always afraid of leaving traveling documents behind. Maybe we do this so that we can get all the stress out of the way before the trip, allowing us the ability to relax during the trip.:confused3 Sounds good anyway.

Have a wonderful, wonderful time.::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: Have a great trip! You are probably up in the air as I type this! Enjoy your trip, the DDP and your DVC. This is hands down my favorite time of year at WDW! I hear you on being excited yet worried. I get the same way, mostly because I hate the hassle and worry about the dogs. Once I get there I even out, I bet you will too!

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! "See" you when you get back!:wave2: :flower3:

[pearlieq]

4/27/08

5:30am

--1 Egg McMuffin
--1 fruit & yogurt parfait

Yawn. Breakfast at Midway. We got up and out right on time and had a very smooth trip to the airport. Not usually too much traffic to fight at 4:00am on Sunday!

10:30am

--1 apple snack bar (kind of Nutrigrain knockoff)

They were handing these out as snacks on the plane. I wasn't hungry then, but sometime after picking up the rentail car I became ravenous!

The flight was quite uneventful--I slept about half of the way and listened to music the other half. DH mostly napped. Our luggage came out quite quickly, and it took DH about a minute to claim our rental car using the self-serve kiosk. Our flight came in a bit early and with everything going so well at the airport, we were on the road only about 10 minutes after we were scheduled to land!

11:45am

--3 rootbeers
--part of a very large nacho appetizer
--2/3 Asian chicken salad
--the ganache and mousse layer of a smores cake
--1 cookie twist

We headed straight to the Boardwalk and made it quite quickly. After a short wait to check in, we hit the jackpot of WDW reservations--our room was ready! Yay! We headed upstairs, dropped off our stuff, and freshened up a bit before heading down ESPN club just a couple of minutes before they opened.

Our room is quite nice--it's only about 1 1/2 hallways from the elevator, which is pretty darn good for the Boardwalk. We're on the 4th floor and we're overlooking the main pool, which is nice. Honestly, for all the little worries, we really couldn't have asked for a smoother, easier trip down here.

Once settled in at ESPN club, we were able to watch the NFL draft with our lunch. For two football fans, it was fun. My nachos were tasty and ginormous. The salad was a special that day and was decent. Nothing I'd do again, but passable and at least had some greens.

Their freezer was broken, so there was no NSA gelato for DH. They had improvised a couple of dessert specials to compensate, but they were all regular sugar desserts. One was a smores cake. The ganache and top layer of mousse were great, but after that it wasn't anything special and not worth the calories or overstuffed feeling.

The second dessert really turned out neat. We got a cone filled with 6 long twist cookies--it tasted like a shortbread-type dough with a faint taste of almond. Half of the twist was chocolate, the other regular, and they were sprinkled with raw sugar to look like pretzel salt. It was served with sauces. I ate about 1 1/2 of the cookies and took the rest back to the room, where I've been munching on them. It was very tasty and quite innovative.

After lunch, we headed right back up for a nap. We were tired!

6:30pm

--1/2 sloppy joe kids meal w/fries, coke, & cookie

After a good nap, we roused ourselves and headed over to MGM. We were actually a little hungry, so we stopped at the Backlot Express at MGM for a snack. Then we just caught a couple of attractions before heading over to Fantasmic.

I'm glad we did that the first night, because Fantasmic does take a certain amount of patience to do. You're herded into the giant arena with 7,000 of your closest friends, and it's usually a fairly long wait. There was a family with 3 kids in front of us who were getting quite squirmy. Their grandma was traveling with them and bought them each those string things to occupy them, which they did, for about 15 minutes. There's $75 well spent, but hey, isn't that what grandma is for?

After the show, you have to fight through the sea of humanity to get out, which can be a challenge. We were actually just ahead of the crowd and made it on to the first boat out, so it worked out well for us. But I'm sure I wouldn't have had the patience of stamina on our last night.

9:30pm

--hummus with cucumber, carrot sticks, and a few pita chips
--most of a hazelnut chicken breast
--couple of bites potatoes and vegetables
--most of a piece of cheesecake
--a few bites of chocolate cake.
--3 pomegranate lemonades

We headed back to the Boardwalk for dinner at Big River Grille. I hate to say it, but it was pretty disappointing. The hummus was fine. They gave a huge portion and I just ate a bit with the veggies and took the rest back to the room with the pita chips. My entree was pretty bad, sadly. The chicken was OK, but hadn't been properly prepped so I got a lot of gristle-type bits. The potatoes and veggies were both completely bland and mushy. I was bummed.

DH thought I should have sent it back, but I really didn't want to wait for another entree, and I wasn't in any danger of starving. :laughing: We ordered desserts--nothing for DH again, but he didn't mind too much. The cheesecake was wonderful, the cake was OK--I ate the ganache frosting off the top (what can I say, I'm a girl who likes her ganache) and left the rest.

After this we were ready to head to bed. Not a bad start to our vacation!

[pearlieq]

4/28/08 - Live, from WDW!

Lesli, you had asked about Fantasmic, and I meant to answer you in my last post. I'm sure the adults and your youngest DD would enjoy it quite a bit. It's a very visual show with lots of neat effects and tons of characters. Your DS5 could be hit-or-miss, depending on what frightens him. There are lots of loud noises, explosions, and villians. There's a big scary monster and a "dark" part in the middle of the show where Mickey's dream turns to a nightmare. Of course, there's a big colorful happy ending, but you always see a bunch of toddlers and pre-school aged kids carried out about halfway through the show. I would say proceed with caution or possibly preview it first.

8:30am

--breakfast buffet at MGM (2 sm cheese danish, one sm croissant, eggs, hashbrown casserole)

Well, I'd say my "great idea" for getting into the park early was a mixed bag. We found out there was no early transport to MGM for character breakfasts. Luckily we had a car, or we would have had to walk or cab it. We got there and it was very quiet, but you did still have to queue up the character breakfast line.

Once they cleared the line, which took about 15 minutes, we went right to the restaurant and were seated right away. Our server was very nice and the food was tasty, if unspectacular. The selection was pretty basic, but the pastries were very fresh and it was well laid out. We didn't recognize many of the characters, but they were all very nice to us. The lion was cute, whoever he was.

We wrapped up right at rope drop, so we headed over to Voyage of the Little Mermaid. Unfortunately, they were having "technical difficulties" so we went over to the Great Movie Ride. We rode that, did the Backlot Tour, then saw Muppetvision 3-D before taking a little break. By then we were a bit bored--MGM doesn't actually have a lot of attractions and we'd already seen all the shows numerous times and ridden everything we wanted to ride.

We thought about leaving, but decided to try to hold out for our lunch seating at 50's Prime Time. So, we finally decided to head over to One Man's Dream. It was neat to look at all the exhibits again, and we both really like the movie at the end--it's interesting and well made. After that, we happened to notice the Magic of Animation area and strolled over to see what it was. The cast members at the front said the show would be starting in 10 minutes, so we decided to stick around. I didn't even know there was a show there!

What a hidden gem! We were so pleasantly surprised. The first part of the attraction was a neat show about how animated characters are developed. There was so much to look at and it was just such a thrill to be doing something completely new at WDW! After the show, there was a walk-through area with various exhibits about animation. At the end there was a large, uncrowded character greeting area. That must have been awesome for the parents with little kids.

There were other various interactive activities about animation, and DH and I chose to take the character drawing class. We were led into a studio where there were a bunch of individual drafting tables with paper and animation pencils. For the next 20 minutes, an animator showed us how to draw a character in a small class setting. It was so cool! We were just so amazed to have stumbled upon this wonderful attraction--how had we never known it was there?!?

1:45pm

--3 cherry Cokes
--fried herb cheese with 3 toasted baguette slices and grapes
--1/2 turkey sandwich on multigrain
--a few bites salad w/house dressing
--angel food cake with berries.

Lunch at 50's Prime Time. I should note, that I'm recording all these sodas, but I should say that all these glasses are at least 2/3 full of ice. It's not like I'm sucking down 3 full glasses of soda!

Our waiter was quite animated--maybe even a bit too much. I'm fine with them being in character, but not when it gets in the way of them doing their actual job of serving food. I almost felt like I couldn't talk to the guy or ask questions about the menu because he was being so flamboyant. Have fun, but get down to business when it's time.

I love the herb cheese appetizer. It's a small wheel of Boursin cheese that is breaded and fried. You then cut it up and spread it on the baguette and eat it with the grapes. So good! My sandwich was also nice--the bread had all kinds of grains and even black sesame seeds in it. The tomato was so red and ripe and perfect I could have cried. None of that orange-ish mushy stryrofoam garbage we get here in Chicago!

I wasn't desperate for dessert so I just too the angelfood. It was fine--pleasant but unremarkable. Nice and light at least. DH got the sugar free shake he came for, so he was a happy camper.

I couldn't finish my sandwich, so I asked for a box since we were leaving to head back to the resort. It took our waiter to find one, and when he came back he brought me a giant shipping box saying "This was the best I could do". It was so funny! There was an actual take out box inside, but we all got a laugh out of my giant box.

6:15pm

--leftover cookies from ESPN.

After heading back from MGM, we got changed and headed to the pool. It had never occured to me that since I'm not wearing contacts right now I'm going to be blind at the pool. I simply hadn't thought of that.

It honestly wasn't as much fun. The pools aren't that deep, so they get warm and you can't do a whole lot of swimming. So we waded in, stood in warm, neck deep water for a while, stretched out, and went back to our room. I got a nice shower and a very relaxing nap.

I was hungry after my nap--I always am--so I finished off my leftover cookies. Soon enough it was time to wake up DH to head to dinner.

7:45pm

--3 tostadas w/cheese and barbecue chicken
--1 large potato skin
--1/2 of the LA Lasagna entree
--most of a piece of key lime pie

So, Planet Hollywood was an experience. They have a check in podium at the end of a long line of stairs, and it was a big confusing mess of people who had a reservation and people who were looking to dine. Eventually we got checked in seated.

This place is not for the faint of heart! There's memorabilia on the walls, but you don't get to see much of it, because the place is just packed with tables! The guy next to us was practically in my lap! Also, they have a DJ, who plays pop music at deafening volume. Lest I sound like some old fuddy-duddy, I actually enjoyed the music and if it had been a dance club I would have been having a great time dancing up a storm. But for a restaurant it really didn't work. DH and I, sitting directly next to each other, couldn't converse. The waiter could barely get our order. I could see how someone could leave with a headache.

Our food had highlights and lowlights. I liked the tostadas--they had a great flavor, though I wish they had been more generous with the chicken. There was maybe only a heaping tablespoon on a 3" tostada. The potato skins had been up for a while, so they had congealed a bit. I ordered a pasta carbonara, but quit eating after a couple of bites. The sauce tasted like cheap jarred alfredo. Not worth the calories! Instead I ate about half the LA Lasagna, which was pretty good. DH ate the other half, plus about half of my pasta.

The server pointed out the dessert menu (only 3 choices, kind of a bummer) and we settled on the key lime pie and a brownie sundae. When we went to order, the waiter told us we were only allowed one dessert to split between the two of us?!? I thought that was really strange, being on the Deluxe Dining Plan, but it just wasn't practical to argue in that noisy crowd. I figured I'd take it up with the resort concierge. So, we split the key lime pie, which was quite good.

We got back to the resort after, and the lobby concierge confirmed that we should have been able to each have our own dessert, which made more sense to me. Why would they force people to share? They weren't that big, and not everyone likes the same things. They would have refunded our money if we had bought a dessert out of pocket, but since we didn't do that, I asked them to just add a snack credit to our account so I could get DH a sugar-free dessert at the bakery. They said that was fine. A few minutes later we got a message in our room saying they had refunded a meal credit, instead of the snack credit! That was nice--I guess we'll use it to get our Earl of Sandwich on our way home.

9:45pm

--1/3 of a Sprite

I took DH down to the Boardwalk Bakery and we sat out while he ate. There was a lot of entertainment on the Boardwalk tonight--it's nice to see they really beefed that up. The mosquitos were out, so we didn't linger, but it is a lovely night.

Time to head to bed--another early morning tomorrow!

[toystoryduo]

Thanks for sharing your trip with us, pearlieq!:hug: I can't wait to go in September!:banana: My trip seems so far away......

I love the Boardwalk area!:love: In December, we usually stay at BCV and we love walking around the Boardwalk and enjoying all that it has to offer. :goodvibes

Hope you have a great day today!:hug: Tell Mickey we said hi!::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

4/29/08 - By the Shores of Crescent Lake

8:00am

--1 Lilikoi juice
--1 Big Kahuna breakfast (2 eggs, sm piece ham, 1 piece bacon, 1/2 sausage link, 2 sm pancakes with macadamia butter & pineapple, most of 1 pc french toast, one potato wedge)

Breakfast at Kona--quite tasty and worth the trip. They changed their pancakes--they used to be giant with macadamias and pineapple cooked in. Now they're about plain, 3" across, and topped with canned crushed pineapple and macadamia nut butter. They were still tasty, but kind of "cheapened down" if that makes any sense.

After breakfast we made our way over to MK. We got in and went to Peter Pan's Flight for our first ride. Unfortunately, while getting into the pirate ship, I whacked the heck out of my knee and spent 3/4 of the ride in tears. OWW! I've got a nice bruise and goose egg there now. Luckily it stopped hurting by the end of the ride and didn't really slow me down.

We went to Haunted Mansion next. There were only 6 people in our stretching room, and the host encouraged us to stick around and hear all of the sound effects at the end of the show, which was neat. We usually rush right out, so I'd never heard them before.

After Haunted Mansion we went over to BTMRR, which I just love. It's just enough of a thrill for me without being too much. To make our trip even better, we were met by the Dream Squad on the way out and got Dream Fastpasses! Fun! After riding Pirates, though, we were talking and realized that we really wouldn't put them to proper use, since we were leaving after lunch and wouldn't really be riding too many of the headliners. So, we found a nice couple on their honeymoon and passed them along. They seemed happy.

10:45am

--not quite half a cream cheese pretzel
--a bit more than half of a frozen Coke

Snack break.

We made our way back over to Tomorrowland and rode a few things there, including several turns on the TTA, which is just fun and relaxing. The weather is great today--all morning it was in the high 70's and breezy, and the sun was shaded by light clouds, so it wasn't gloomy at all, but the sun was beating down either. It was just postcard-perfect.

1:45pm

--1 tomato & mozzarella salad
--1 1/2 pieces sourdough bread
--about 2/3 of a white pizza
--a couple of tastes of chocolate gelato
--1/2 bowl nsa apple sorbet

Lunch at Tony's Town Square. Mixed results. My appetizer was actually quite tasty--the tomatoes and mozzarella were fresh and the spices and dressing were well balanced. It really needed bread to go with it, and I requested some as I guess they only serve it at dinner. It took a very long time--I had actually given up and almost finished my salad by the time it came. DH liked his minnestrone, but he had to salt it, which is unusual for him.

His chicken parmesan was also disappointing--the sauce was bland and overly thickened, as if it had been cooked too long. His chicken was not marinated and the breading didn't appear to be seasoned, so it didn't really have any flavor. Not a winner. My flatbread was quite good--the cheese blend was nice and it was rich without tasting greasy.

They offer a no sugar added sorbet on the menu, so DH ordered it. I ordered chocolate gelato. Sadly, the gelato was grainy and the chocolate flavor was insipid. I took a taste of DH's sorbet, though, and was blown away. Wow! That was amazing. Today's flavor was green apple and it was just light and refreshing and wonderful. I didn't occur to me to send my gelato back and get a bowl of the sorbet, but I should have, because I could have cheerfully devoured another bowl after eating half of DH's. It was soooo good and very memorable as it's not something you see every day.

After lunch it was time to go get the car and head back to BWV. We're really enjoying the resort--it's very cheerful and so convenient to everything. I'm typing this as I'm listening to the staff run games for the kids down by the pool. For my part, I'm ready for a nice long nap now. DTD and Wolfgang Puck's tonight!

7:00pm

--1 spring roll w/plum sauce
--2 1/2 pieces foccacia bread
--few spoonfuls DH's butternut squash soup
--8 pumpkin ravioli w/brown butter sauce & parmesan
--1 piece carrot cake

Dinner at Puck's. We decided to try to eat early so we could try to make a movie, and luckily they were able to accommodate us, but it had to be inside. Wow is it loud in there! Again, it's cramped to fit a lot of people in and it's all hard surfaces so there's nothing to absorb sound. Knowing that, I would wait for outdoor seating next time

There were highlights and lowlights of our food. The butternut squash soup was amazing, as usual, and the garlic & rosemary foccacia was to die for! My spring rolls were OK, but a bit greasy. My pumpkin ravioli, usually great, wasn't tonight. It hadn't been drained properly, so it was still watery and it made the sauce watery. Plus, they've downsized the portion and aren't putting on the same amount of sauce or cheese that I remember from before. Another casualty of the DDP? The carrot cake was quite nice, as usual. The meal as decent, but not the knock-it-out-of-the-park great like it has been. I don't think we're going to do the repeat on this trip.

Fortunately, we were able to get out in time to catch our movie, Forgetting Sara Marshall. We both really enjoyed it--it was funny, smart, and kind of sweet. Typical Judd Apatow raunchiness, but I can handle that in his movies because they are so smart, well developed, and full of heart. I would definitely recommend this movie for adults, provided they don't shock easily. This one earned its R rating!

It was kind of nice to actually see a movie with DH. We often go to the theater together, but our interests are wildly divergent so he usually sees his movie, I see mine, then we meet up again afterwards. It was fun to share the experience this time.

After the show we came back to the room to do laundry and relax. It was a nice day.

[toystoryduo]

It sounds like your trip is going quite well, pearlieq!:thumbsup2 That was really nice of you to give your Dream Fast Passes to the honeymoon couple....You shared the Disney magic and gave them a wonderful memory from their honeymoon!:wizard:

How is your knee holding up? I hope it's feeling better today.

Have a great Wednesday!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Oh I am so enjoying your trip/food report! I am so glad you had a nice day at the MK, that weather did sound perfect. If you go back, think of me when you ride the TTA, its my favorite! I have wacked my knee getting into Peter Pan a couple of times myself, hope you are feeling better. I will have to remember that sorbet at Tony's we are eating there on the 31st next month.

I love Boardwalk, it sounds like you are having a very nice vacation. Just keep on having fun and relaxing.

And I can drink way more than three cokes whether they are full of ice or not! Have a cherry coke for me, that's my favorite drink on the planet. Can't wait to hear about more of your trip. Have fun.

I bought that book by the way!

[pearlieq]

4/30/08 - Eating my way around EPCOT

10:45am

--1/2 double cheeseburger meal

I was and I wasn't hungry when I ate this. What seems to be happening is that I get hungry, but I fill up quickly. I don't know if that's from the constant steady drip of food or not.

We had decided to sleep in this morning instead of getting up early for breakfast. Unfortunately, I developed a crick in my neck sometime in the early morning and I just couldn't get back to sleep. I gave up around 7:00 or so and came out to the living room--thank goodness for the 1 bedroom. An hour later I had read everything that came with the room, flipped through the channels about 90 times, and figured out that I couldn't figure out how to get DH's laptop going. Long story short, I was bored.

DH didn't wake up until almost 10:00am and by then I was not only bored, but also tired, sore, and cranky. Lucky him. We headed out to EPCOT. Crowd levels were pretty heavy and we were both kind of stiff, so we quickly abandoned our touring plans and decided to split a breakfast at the Electric Umbrella.

We were too late for breakfast, so I just wound up ordering this. If I had been in a better mood I probably would have done better. While eating, I hatched the idea that we should just head for World Showcase since it was just about to open. I figured we could stay ahead of the crowds there.

11:45am

--part of a school bread @ Norway

We made it into World Showcase and rode the Gran Fiesta Tour and Maelstrom before stopping to get DH one of his favorite treats, the no sugar added chocolate mousse at the bakery in Norway. I had seen pictures of the school bread before I was intrigued, so I burned a snack credit to get one.

It's basically a very large doughnut. The base is a plain yeast dough--not very sweet at all. It's filled with a vanilla custard/cream, and then topped with basic powdered sugar glaze and sprinkled with coconut. The custard was very tasty, and I wound up using my spoon to dig all of that out. I had a few bites of the rest of the roll, but most of it went to the birds. They were quite eager to share and I just couldn't resist them, even though I knew I should. I still kind of feel bad about that.

After our snack, we ambled over to The American Adventure and ducked in just as a show was starting. It's always so nice to see those big stage shows in a nearly empty theater, though somehow, even if you're in a theater with 8 people, one of them will inevitably wind up being a loud cellphone talking, stop in the middle of the rowing, flash picture taking, doofus! I can't seem to get away from that sort. Or maybe I attract them.

12:30pm

--1 kaki gori

You thought I was kidding with this title, didn't you?

I love the kaki gori--it's just so sweet and smooth and refreshing. This was mostly an impulse grab--I was still cranky and sore and in a funk, and I saw this and wanted it.

What seems to be happening on this trip, though, is that every time we both start to get into a funk, something comes along that just totally lifts our spirits. We were about to leave the Japan pavillion when Miuki, the candy artist, came out.

I'd heard about her work before, but never had the chance to see her. This time, not only were we able to see her, but we were the second family there, so we got a candy made for us! It was so cool to watch her work--she uses this hot taffy-type candy and works it into the most beautiful animal shapes with just her fingers and a pair of scissors. It only takes her about a minute to create these adorable, brightly colored and fully detailed animal lollipops. I asked her to make a bird and she made the most lovely hummingbird, which I can't wait to give to my mom. I know she'll love it. That was definitely the highlight of our day at EPCOT and I would highly recommend finding out when her first show will be and getting there a bit early. She's worth it!

1:45pm

--1 crusty roll w/butter
--3 Cokes
--about 2/3 of a French Onion soup
--maybe 1/3 at most of a macaroni & cheese
--1 1/2 profiteroles
--1 smallish piece chocolate crunch cake.

What an experience at Les Chefs de France. The meal was quite good, but we also had the dubious entertainment of one of the most outlandishly obnoxious women I've ever seen!

It started it out normally enough. We placed our order and I was eating my roll and working my way through the wall of cheese in my soup when in they came. It was a young man and woman, wearing wedding ears, and an older lady, who another patron very accurately described as looking like Shelly Winters. Over the course of the meal, it was revealed she was his mother. Some honeymoon, eh? Just me & you and my mom! :laughing:

This woman was just ear-splittingly loud. She seemed totally incapable of modulating her voice or speaking appropriately for the restaurant, to the point that I initially wondered if she was hard of hearing. Alas no--she just had no concept of "inside voice".

To make matters worse, she had this very pronounced New York/Long Island accent, which just made everything she said stick out that much more. It was late for lunch, so the restaurant was relatively quiet. Everything she said carried for miles.

Any thought that came through her head seemed to come out of her mouth. There was nothing to mundane, or too inane, to voice at high decibels. She went over and over their plans for what to order--I think by the end the entire restaurant knew that they were going to order 4 entrees for the 3 of them and share them between.

Luckily, I suppose, she was just so over the top that it turned out to be comical instead of irritating. DH nearly spit his drink out numerous times and my sides hurt from laughing so much. All the other diners were exchanging helpless and incredulous looks--you just can make this stuff up!

The kicker came toward the end of the meal. Their poor waitress, who was doing a remarkable job of staying composed and trying to serve them, asked how they were enjoying their honeymoon. Before they could answer, she piped in with "Oh, they're enjoying it all right. They enjoyed it all night. Good thing I'm next door--I didn't hear too much." :scared1:

The poor waitress looked horrified and DH turned purple. It was just the funniest thing ever!

Our meal was quite good, but I didn't have much of an appetite after all the eating I did, so I boxed up almost my whole entree to go. I did get the desserts though, and they both were outstanding! I would definitley go back.

8:15pm

--1 piece Hawaiian bread w/macadamia nut butter
--1 order sticky wings
--about 2/3 Pan-Asian noodles
--most of a Kiluea torte

We wound up rejiggering our plans again. DH's foot is looking good, so we decided that if we could find him some water shoes we could go to Typhoon Lagoon. We changed around some ADRs and headed out to look. We struck out at Wal-Mart, but found a pair of sandals that would work well at the Target down the road.

With that settled, we decided to straight over to the Polynesian even though we were early. We walked to the TTC and decided to ride the monorail over to EPCOT, just for a scenic tour. We did it twice, and it was very strange. The first time, we had an entire car to ourselves on the way there and on the way back. The second time, we picked up quite a few people. So strange for being only about 20 minutes apart. By then it was time to get over to the Polynesian for dinner.

Our food was quite good. I love their sticky wings and my noodles were decent--I wouldn't go out of my way to get them again, but I didn't regret ordering it. The kiluea dessert was nice--it was a chocolate lava cake. DH got the NSA apple stack and he loved it! We were both happy with the meal.

Wishes was just starting as we were leaving, so we watched a bit of it through the windows before heading out. Once back at BWV, I decided to fire up the big soaking tub, which was an awesome way to end the day!!!

[pearlieq]

5/1/08

9:00am

--Boma buffet (1 bagel w/cream cheese, some small pastries, a few potato wedges, 2 piece cheese omelet, and strawberries)
--1 glass Frunch juice

This was a pretty nice meal. Again, I can't help but see that things have been contracted a bit--simplified, scaled back, etc.--and I wonder if it's due to DDP. I still had a nice breakfast, but eggs, potatoes, and a bagel aren't too hard to come by at home, you know?

After our meal we stepped outside to baste oursleves in sunscreen before heading off to Typhoon Lagoon.

1:45pm

--2 chicken wings
--1 barbecued chicken sandwich with bacon and gouda
--a few chips
--a few bites fruit salad
--part of a piece of chocolate cake.

Lunch at Olivia's at Old Key West. This meal wound up being more of a "miss" than a hit. I didn't care for the glaze on the wings, and something tasted a bit "off" about my sandwich and cake as well. DH was kind of underwhelmed as well. I think we're getting a bit harder to please as well just because we're so overfed.

We had a very nice time at TL. We spent a little over an hour jumping the surf waves in the wave pool. That's a very good workout, surprisingly. At least it sure felt like one. After that we took a spin in the lazy river. We rode that around the park and then headed back in for more waves. By then the park had gotten pretty crowded, which isn't a good situation in the wave pool. You crash into people and get kicked a lot. We did a few last waves then headed back to BWV to freshen up before lunch.

I left Olivia's feeling OK, but somehow I spent the next hour feeling like I was so stuffed I was going to be sick. I'm glad we tried the DDP, but this is just way too much food to eat for so long. I don't think we'll do it again.

7:15pm

--1/2 plate nachos
--1/3 (at best) giant hot dog
--some fries
--1/2 pretzel cookie

After Olivia's, we headed over to EPCOT. DH offered to take me back to the room, but I felt like being active was going to be the only think to make me feel better. We caught the boat over, then make it up to Future World. Crowds were still pretty healthy, but we got a Fastpass for TT that was about 2 hours away. We killed some time on Universe of Energy, then went over to catch the new Spaceship Earth. I know it has gotten some lukewarm reviews, but we wound up liking it quite a bit. I liked how the new narration explained why the milestones were so important and how they were relevant to us today. We thought the little cartoon at the end was cute and diverting. We wound up going twice to take it all in.

By then it was time for our trip on Test Track. By the time we were done there, both of us had had enough. We changed plans (again!) and decided to head back to the resort for the night. We just relaxed for a while, then went to ESPN Club for dinner, which DH had been requesting since Sunday.

His meal was really good, but we didn't have the best waiter. He messed up both of our appetizers and my entree. He also disappeared for long periods of time, so it took a while to get things fixed. I was still pretty overstuffed, so most of my meal and all of my dessert came back to the room.

Since then we've just been relaxing, catching up on the outside world, and doing laundry. A couple of days ago we found out that ESPN classic is airing episodes of the original, old-school American Gladiators, and DH and I are having tons of fun with that!

Time to start packing. It seems like we just got here!

P.S. Amy, I'm glad you bought the book. I hope you like it!

[toystoryduo]

Thank you so much for sharing your trip with us pearlieq.:hug: It sounds like you are having such a great time!:goodvibes By reading your trip report, I am getting my Disney fix for the day!:thumbsup2

I can't believe that couple at Les Chefs brought the MIL on the honeymoon!:scared1: Maybe that's why the bride was so loud?:lmao:

We've never seen Miuki before, but we're going to try to in September. That is so cool that you have a bird to give to your mom that she made.:thumbsup2

I'm glad to hear that you liked Spaceship Earth!:thumbsup2 That is one of my favorite rides ever and I was worried when they did the refurb on it. I have yet to see the new SE, but it seems to be getting more positive reviews now. I can't wait until September!:cool1:

I hope you have a safe flight home. :hug: Thanks again for sharing your trip with us!:grouphug:

[pearlieq]

5/5/08

10:00am

--good sized piece strawberry cheesecake

Breakfast of champions, eh? I've spent most of the morning wading through my work email and trying to get caught up.

Today is our anniversary, and I'm actually not all that excited about it, which is a shame, because DH seems to kind of be into it. I guess I'll try to get in the spirit. I just can't get too super excited about going out to dinner, since there's nowhere terribly noteworthy near us, and I don't really want to make a long drive out to a good restaurant. Plus, we just had about a million restaurant meals!

I guess I'm not a big fan of days like anniversaries, Valentine's Day, etc. I always feel pressured to "perform" and meet other people's expectations, whereas I'm not terribly sentimental and would prefer to just let things pass.

As for the end of our trip and this past weekend, it was all pretty unremarkable. We spent the last day at WDW mostly just packing, relaxing, and doing last-minute shopping. We just couldn't face breakfast and lunch, so we skipped breakfast and had lunch at Kona Cafe, which was good as always.

After lunch we went to DTD. I had hoped to burn some of my snack credits at Goofy's Candy company, but the caramel apples weren't snacks and I was too short on time to explore the rest of their options. I wound up just getting a bunch of bagged snacks. We made our last stop at Earl of Sandwich where we used our last meal credit to get sandwiches for the plane ride home. We had the misfortune of arriving at the same time as a school band, but luckily they kicked it into high gear and kept things moving well.

We were very fortunate to get home on time, even with the storms going Friday. The landing was a little rough, but I was just so grateful to be home. The drive back to the house was also pretty easy and soon enough we were having a joyous reuinion with the cats.

The rest of the weekend was spent on mundane things like grocery shopping and yardwork, and just relaxing and clearing out our DVR. Today it finally feels like we're back to reality, and work--yuck! :laughing:

1:40pm

--2 sm chocolate chip cookies

3:00pm

--1 string cheese
--8 dried apricots

5:00pm

--1 bowl cheerios
--2 mini boxes raisins

Ugh, not a fun afternoon on any front. I woke up feeling kind of "off" and with a slight headache. Unfortunately, the headache kind of snowballed during the day into something really unpleasant. It felt like a migraine, but didn't hurt in my usual migraine spot. I took a bunch of Excederin and tried to soldier on while trapped on the world's longest and most pointless conference call. Seriously--I was on that call for 90 minutes before we got to anything relevant to me, and my part was done in 5 minutes. They could have just emailed me the file.

Anyway, by the time I was off that I was really in some major pain, and I figured if it walked like a duck, and quacked like a duck, it must be a migraine. I had a perscription for some migraine medicine, but I hadn't filled it yet, so I took it up to the Walgreens up the road to get filled. Unfortunately, that store didn't have the right medicine in stock, so they called it over to another store about 10 minutes away.

I went up to the other store, and they took a while dinking around with my insurance company to find out how much to charge me. Mercifully, while on the drive to the other Walgreens, the Excederin finally kicked in and I was feeling semi-human. That whole episode would have been torture otherwise!

So now I'm back home, and trying to figure out if I'm still up for going out with DH tonight. I feel kind of shaky and still "off", but not too bad and maybe getting out would be a welcome distraction. We'll see.

[goldcupmom]

I love reading your trip reports, Pearlie! Sounds like you had a wonderful time!

I loved your title. sounds like my kind of trip!

Hope you had a good trip home & are settling back in to reality....so sad!!

Have an awesome week!

[toystoryduo]

Welcome Home!!!:hug: I really enjoyed your trip report. Thanks for sharing!:goodvibes

Sending some :wizard: :wizard: your way today.... Hope you have a great day!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi There, Welcome Home and Happy Anniversary! I hear you on sometimes not liking those special days, it gets to be a lot of effort sometimes to just figure out the what, where and when doesn't it!

I am still laughing about your meal in France with the Mother In Law! I give that marriage less than one year if the husband takes the mom on the honeymoon. :sad2:

I loved your trip report! I liked Spaceship Earth too (although I miss Jeremy Irons sexy voice ;) ) I thought the whole thing flowed a lot better. Although I didn't like seeing my weird face superimposed on the screen!

It sounds like your trip went really well and that you had fun. I envy that one bedroom, its 15 nights in a studio for the four of us this month. OMG what was I thinking taking that trip to DL and sucking up too many points???

Sorry about that long conference call, talk about a dose of reality! I hope the migraine is better, I hate those. Feel better and again, welcome home!

[goldcupmom]

Hope the headache finally disappeared. NOT fun!! DD has been suffering due to the weather & I've been holding off letting her take her Frova(for migraines)....Only 4 pills left & I don't want to refill.

Glad the flight home was uneventful. I hate flying!!

Hope there are no more useless conference calls looming out there.

Have a good Tuesday!
(oh, & Happy Belated Anniversary!)

[Lesli54]

Sending you :wizard: for getting passed the migrane. Sounds like just way to much WDW fun.:rotfl2:

I loved your reports from WDW, though, they are really gearing my up for going. In fact, I already miss in and we haven't even left. Thanks for the tips on Fantasmic. DS5 might be ok, but we will definitely think it over first. We have often seen parts for the show from BWV, but I am glad that we haven't gone yet as it does sound like my children would have been too young at the time. Also, thank you for the last info on the DDP. I have often wondered how all that food could be eaten and it just seems a waste to me to not try to eat it or "purchase" it to take home after you spend all that money on the plan. For us, I don't think it would work since we eat breakfast in the villas most days and part of our meals since we always come back for the afternoon swim or nap. I think I agree with you, the cutting back on the meals may actually be the after effect of the DDP. That's business for you.

How did your mom enjoy the hummingbird candy? Watching those candies being made is really alot of fun and it is amazing the talent that the artist has.

Hope that your day is a good one. ::MickeyMo ::MickeyMo

[pearlieq]

5/11/08

10:00am

--frozen grapes
--1 cheese stick

Trying to get ready to leave the house. We're going up to my grandma's for lunch today, and I need to pick something up for her. I just can't go to a party empty handed. It feels a little weird getting something for my grandma for mother's day, but I'm sure there must be something appropriate out there.

This hasn't been a great week. Work was very busy for the first couple days of the week, and I'm expecting the same this week. I pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve or something in my neck/shoulder area, and it isn't too much fun. It's not unbearable, but I have to move carefully and some positions are quite painful. Hopefully this goes away soon!

Unfortunately, my mom's new medicine didn't work out--the side effects just got too severe for her to function. So now she's back on IV chemo. She goes once a week for 3 weeks, then off one week. No word yet on how long that's supposed to last, but it seemed to go OK-ish this week. She was nauseated and tired, but able to get by.

Our anniversary turned out nice. Due to the migraine we wound up postponing our plans until the next day, but we still had fun. I felt kind of bad--I thought we weren't doing anything, so I got taken off guard when DH came home with a card and present. I felt like such a heel.

DH left today for a business trip and I miss him already. I'm trying to make plans to get out and see friends while he's gone, because otherwise I degenerate quickly and start leaving my jammies on 24/7. Not good. :laughing:

Of course it could wind up being a very busy couple of days as I might be planning a party for my goddaughter's graduation. We're trying to find a park district picnic area or some other suitable venue for her party. She's leaving for a summer program the morning after she graduates, so we have a very narrow window to try to get a party together. But I just think she should have one, if at all possible.

Food has been a train wreck all week, which I think has contributed to my not insisting on making an effort to journal. I haven't been eating anything I'd call a "meal", unless you count restaurant meals. If there's anything I need to work on over the next week, it's just having breakfast, lunch, and dinner and not just endless snacks.

I'll get to journals this evening--I miss everyone!

[goldcupmom]

Happy Mother's Day, Pearlie! Yes, you are a mother to your kitties and a GodMother! That counts!!!

Hope things get better soon with your mom!! Still praying!

[toystoryduo]

Happy Mother's Day, Pearlie! Yes, you are a mother to your kitties and a GodMother! That counts!!!

::yes:: Yep, I agree! :goodvibes Happy Mother's Day, Pearlieq!!:flower3:

I'm sorry to hear that the medication didn't work for your mom. :( I'm sending prayers and :wizard: :wizard: her way.

I hope you have a good week ahead!:hug:

[pearlieq]

5/13/08

10:00am

--2 eggs, fried
--most of a piece of buttered Brownberry toast
--most of an orange

DH is gone more of this week. He's out in Tucson for some training. I guess they had also managed to squeeze in a round of golf yesterday, and much better that it was him on that course than me!

They're up in the mountains, and it was over 100 degrees. Plus, they apparently have tons of rattlesnakes on the course--so many that if you spot one, there's a little button you push in your golf cart that relays the coordinates back to their course manager, who then comes out, lassos the thing, and relocates it. :scared1:

I miss him, but I'm kind on enjoying being on my own. I've been feeling very insular for the last couple of days. It's taken me a long time to get here and reconnect with everyone and I still owe emails to a bunch of friends. I just feel a pull inward for some reason.

I've been thinking more and more about my weight and becoming more ready to make changes. I actually pulled out my copy of 7 Secrets and re-read it. For something at sounds so much like an infomercial, I really do find it very inspiring. It's the first and only food paradigm that sounds sane and healthy--something I want to do and do forever. So, I'm trying to focus really hard on that right now. I know things aren't going to change overnight, but I just feel like there is a path back to serenity.

I got together with my mom and grandma for mother's day. A couple of aunts and uncles also dropped by, and it was nice to see everyone. I'm struck over and over by this sensation that this isn't going to last. My grandma will be 88 this year. She's doing remarkably well for that age, but sooner or later she'll be gone. I actually won't mourn her too much. I love her and I'll miss her, but she's had a long and full life and she ready, even eager sometimes, to go. I'll almost be happy for her when her time comes.

I have my mom's situation on my mind too. I did some research on the new drug they're giving her. It's pretty disheartening. The drug actually didn't prolong overall survival at all. All it did was delay how long it took for the cancer to grow. So without the drug, your cancer would start growing again in 6 months and you die in 18 months. With the drug, your cancer doesn't start growing for 9 months and you still die in 18 months. What the heck is the point of going through all the hassle and the vagarities of chemo for that?

I really don't know how much longer we've got. The most recent statistics had the median survival time for women with metastatic breast cancer as about 30 months. When did they start timing that? From when the found the cancer had spread? In the clinical trials with mom's drug, their average suvival time was just under 18 months. It's been 18 months since they found my mom's first new tumor. I know statistics are just numbers, but there are places in my brain where this isn't really real.

1:45pm

--cottage cheese
--sm handful All-bran crackers
--my leftover orange sections
--few canned peach slices

3:45pm

--nsa sugar cookies
--milk

6:00pm

--1 footlong turkey & bacon sub
--1 Snickers

So far I've been pretty happy with today. I've being trying to be very mindful, listening to my body, waiting for hunger, and stopping when it tells me to stop. It's hard, since this isn't something I'm used to. Instead of eating without judging, I've gotten into my head that I'm supposed to not finish my meals. So I have to work hard to override what my head is saying and listen to my body.

9:30pm

--2 chicken, broccoli, & cheddar lean pockets

Hungry again! I thought about getting McD's, but it's late and we're getting some bad storms. Wouldn't you feel really stupid if you got into some horrible car accident on the way home from a 9pm cheeseburger run? Not that we can control everything, but that kind of thing rattles through my mind. Plus, I wasn't sure if I could make a good decision there. So this will work.

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlie: I think its great you are reading that book and figuring out the mental end of things before you rush headlong into some "diet". Better to lay some important groundwork first. That shows a lot of maturity and forethought on your part. And I think it will really increase your chances of survival. I know you can do it when the time is right.

I so understand your frustation and confusion on your mom's cancer. I have been there as you know. I know that my mom's breast cancer was already spread all over the place at diagnosis, she lived 6 and half years past that and about two years at least past the point when another tumor came back. I got where I just couldn't listen and read about the statistics anymore. Of course my situation was different, my mom was older than yours and also ahd the Alzheimers. How is your mom's general outlook? Is this treatment something she wants and believes in? I think that makes a huge difference. In any case, I know how hard it is, you really do feel as though your whole life is in limbo and you wonder if all the treatment is worth much in the end. I don't have any answers except to tell you I am thinking of you. Continue to be your mom's advocate and don't take anything any doctor tells you at face value. Trust your judgement. And if you don't have it already, I suggest you get medical power of attorney if your mom will be okay with that. I know I needed mine in the end and I was glad we had gotten it ahead of time. Just keep hanging in there.:hug:

Your Mother's Day bittersweet feelings really brought a tear to my eye. I am glad you had that day with your mom and grandmother.

Thanks for being such a good friend to my journal and life in general. I have that book, its in my bag I am taking on the plane!

[pearlieq]

5/14/08

10:00am

--spinach stuffed rigatoni w/red sauce & mozzarella

Hey, it's what sounded good.

I'm still working hard on listening, waiting for hunger, and not judging. I have a tendency to try to grasp too hard on control and wind up snapping. I know I won't be able to break that pattern overnight, but I'd really like to work at it.

3:30pm

--more spinach stuffed rigatoni w/red sauce & mozzarella

It sounded good again.

4:00pm

--1 Snickers bar

I had a leftover one from yesterday and I just couldn't get it out of my mind. Yum!

6:00pm

--sm white tea & peach slush

Darn that was good! I really liked the flavor.

I met a friend at a coffee place before going to Bunco. It was nice to see her, I guess, but she spent nearly the whole darn time talking about herself. Let alone talking about anything regarding me, I couldn't even get a word in edgewise to comment about what was going on with her! I guess she needed to talk last night!

7-11pm

--lots and lots of chips w/creamy salsa, pastry twists, couple sm peices frozen pizza, jelly beans

Oops. That didn't go as planned at all. I had told myself that I would get to Bunco, mingle with the girls, and then fix myself one plate of the goodies when I got hungry.

Unfortunately, there were only 3 of us--my friend & I and the host. I was fine with that--we're all good friends and we had a nice time just chatting together and playing a game. That part was great. But there wasn't a food spread, just chips & dip, my pastry twists, jelly beans on the table, and the little pizza the host tossed in the oven. I couldn't get a proper meal, and so I just wound up eating uncontrollably. I seriously couldn't stop. I eventually moved things away from me, but when it was in front of me, I couldn't get it out of my mind.

It actually kind of makes sense to me. I was looking for a satisfying full meal. What I got was chips and snacks. So kept eating on those, hoping to find the satisfaction I was looking for, only it never came. So I kept trying and trying. I get it. I'm actually not too upset about it. I understand what happened, and I'll just wait for hunger to come tomorrow.

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle :hug: your way today, Pearlieq. I'm praying for your mom and for you too.:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I can relate to your Bunco night. When I want a meal and can't get one, I'll pretty much eat whatever and large quantities! Look at how good you are to figure that out. You are really giving this whole process a lot of thought. That is huge in the success factor department.

Hope today is good for you.

I have had coffee dates like that too! Sort of makes you wish you had a hearing aide you could turn off huh?

[pearlieq]

5/15/08

10:50am

--1 string cheese

Hungry! I knew I was going to get something later, so I just grabbed this while running out the door.

1:15pm

--1 6pc McNugget happy meal w/a sm orange soda
--1 cheeseburger

I've been having thoughts about McD's all week. I feel nice and satisfied now. I had to fight my urge to be an "efficient eater" while ordering. Intellectually I knew that the double cheeseburger was $1, and the regular cheeseburger is $0.99, and I felt compelled to order the better "value". But, I listened to myself and I really wanted the regular, so that's what I got. And it was good. :)

5:30pm

--leftover spinach rigatoni
--1 pastry twist

Hungry again. Work was a bear today--yet another fire drill, and my boss asked me to pick up another project. I don't know if I'm going to agree to that. DH's flight made it home right on time, but he had an event tonight he was supposed to attend, so I'm not expecting to see him until late tonight.

11:15pm

--1 grilled chicken sandwich w/bacon
--1 junior cheeseburger

I had just about decided I was hungry enough and was ready to get a (very late) dinner, when DH called and said he was going to stop on his way home. I had to wait about an hour, so I was super hungry. I kind of like this order--I get a lot of stuff I like, without an outrageous calorie total.

[pearlieq]

5/16/08

11:00am

--2 eggs, fried
--2 pieces raisin toast w/butter
--peach slices

So I'm finding I'm not hungry at the crack of dawn, at least not these past few days. It usually doesn't arrive until mid-morning. I'm still struggling with letting go of judging--I had to stop myself from mentally tabulating the calories of what I was about to eat.

I had fun at the grocery store yesterday--I decided there wouldn't be any rules. I wound up buying some things I really dearly love, but had always told myself were off limits. I got Pepperidge Farm apricot raspberry Verona cookies, raisin bread, and cheddar cheese Simply Chex. There were some things I thought I'd want right away, such as chips, juice, and sugary cereal, but they didn't really appeal as I walked past them. Maybe another time, I guess.

I'm expecting some challenges this weekend. It's always hard to coordinate with someone else, I'm concerned it will be hard to stick to eating only when I'm hungry with DH around. I've been trying to think this through--I've got snacks to offer him when he's hungry and I'm not. Hopefully that will help us work together.

2:30pm

--1 PB&J on Brownberry
--handful baby carrots
--1 can chicken noodle soup
--sm bowl simply chex
--3 Verona cookies

Hungry again! Really hungry, actually. I was eating those carrots like a madwoman. The soup filled me up pretty fast, though, so I wound up putting aside half the sandwich, half the Chex, and 2 of the cookies aside for later. I'm sure I'll eventually be ready for them again.

Quiet afternoon. I'm waiting for some jobs to process for work, so there's not much going on. I suppose there are chores or errands I could take care of if I was feeling really productive, but I'm enjoying just relaxing.

3:30pm

--the rest of my lunch

4:15pm

--9 more cookies
--big bowl Chex
--glass of milk.

Uh oh. I think what happened here is that I shouldn't have held back half of my lunch. I keep pressuring myself not to finish my food, and it feels liks someone's taking my food away, and I wind up recoiling and snapping. As they put it in my book "Every deprivation leads to an equal and opposite binge". I guess I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

8:00pm

--1/2 lg cheese pizza
--5 breadsticks
--1 liter Coke
--sm bowl Chex
--the last 6 cookies

Well, this was a rough night. I was upset and turned to food for comfort. My mom isn't doing well. This new chemo drug is pretty hard on her--this week she couldn't stay awake at work, which I know is really humiliating for her. Her boss is a real jerk, and I worry that they're going to make trouble for her. I'm terrified at the idea of her driving in that condition. She called her doctor about it one afternoon when it became completely intolerable, and they had her come in, only to have her meet with this really patronizing twit nurse or PA at mom's oncologist's office who just wouldn't listen to her!

She was asking her the stupidest, most basic questions, like why she was in a wheelchair. You'd think that was on page 1 of her chart! She's only been seeing this doctor for a year and a half. This doctor got the idea in her head that mom's extreme fatigue and feeling ill was due to her taking too much heart medication. Except that mom's been on this heart medication for over a year now with no issues. Why would there suddenly be a problem now? Her red blood cell counts were a little low, and her BP was hovering around 95/45, which is just scary. But this idiot just wouldn't listen to her--it's like she just jumped to this conclusion about the heart medicines and closed her ears and brain.

My mom was just in no position to fight. She could barely stay conscious, let alone try to get this woman to treat her properly. I felt so bad thinking about her there, totally vulnerable, and not getting the help she needed. They didn't do anything for her. Nothing about how terrible she was feeling or how she couldn't stay awake. They just told her to come back for her regular appointment for more chemo on Friday. She came back for that, but wasn't well enough to tolerate it, so they decided to defer her for a week.

She's talking about changing oncologists, but I'm not sure where she'd go. She's at the best regional hospital around. I think she'd pretty much have to go back into downtown Chicago now for the type of cancer treatment she needs. That's over 50 miles from her house, with terrible traffic and tricky expressway driving in between. I don't see how that would work. I guess there's one other hospital we can try.

I just don't know how she's going to make to her retirement date in January and what she's going to do if she doesn't. I worry so much about how she can't get any decent rest becasue of the pain--the pain medication doesn't always help, plus she has to be careful of what she takes during the week because she's got to drive and go to work. I can't wrap my mind around what constant pain must be like. Between the cancer and the side effects from the chemo, there is never a time when she isn't in some kind of pain and/or discomfort.

Think about that the next time you get a headache or pull a muscle or something. Imagine that that pain will always be with you, day in and day out, with no hope of relief except for narcotic-induced oblivion. How would you live? Work? Sleep? Stay sane?

There's just so much swirling around in my head. I just don't know how all of this is going to work, but I am acutely aware that this is pretty much the nightmare scenario. The one we all desperately hope won't happen to us or anyone we love.

[Lesli54]

Good afternoon, Pearlieq!:cool1:

Isn't the sun beautiful? Sorry to hear that your mom's meds aren't working the way you had hoped. I know it is very hard to be faced with an appx limitation of time with a loved one and wondering if the medical treatments are really worth it. DH's dad went on dialysis 6 months before he passed and the thought was whether it was all worth it. But in some ways it was because the family got another 6 months with him and he was able to get things in order the way he wanted. Also, DD10 got a bit more time with him and just the other day she was talking about those happy memories that she has shortly before he passed. At the time she had just turned 4, so it is comforting now to know here her memories as that is the legacy he left behind. Use this time to get to know your mom more, if possible. Find out more about her as a child, her parents, grandparents, etc. It is always fun to find out new things about a loved one that you didn't know. Besides it will also give her a chance to have fun storytelling and maybe take her mind off of the medical situation that you guys are dealing with.

On another note, I think reading about weight loss factors and working on the mental aspect will be a positive one for you. You always strike me as a person who likes to research things and is willing to give thought to that research. It is amazing how much mental thoughts sabotage our weight. Analyzing your eating at the partying the other night was a great insight to how you react to certain triggers of potential overeating. That is a big step. (I think I do the same when looking for a decent meal and not being where there is one.) Just take things one day at a time. You can do this!:yay:

Sending you :wizard: :wizard: to get through the weekend and be able to work something out with you DH in terms of food planning. ::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am really proud of the way you are thinking about what you eat and shop for. You are making some really good choices and listening to your hunger ques. That is great. I love, love, LOVE those cookies. Next time you eat one, think of me! I also love that chex mix. And that is a way better choice than chips. I like your idea of two sandwiches rather than one with fries. Way more nutrition and less carbs.

Keep up this good work and I hope you get some time to relax this weekend. Don't let your boss railroad you into doing more than you should be doing!

[toystoryduo]

Oh pearlieq,:hug:

I am sending a gentle :hug: and lots of prayers for your mom. I'm so sorry to hear about all that she is going through right now. :( We'll be praying for her and for you as well. :grouphug:

[pearlieq]

5/18 & 5/19

Well, this was a nice enough weekend, life-wise, and a sort of OK weekend, food-wise.

Saturday was quite quiet. DH was worn out from his trip and not feeling well, so we spent almost the whole day just relaxing and clearning out the TiVo. I didn't mind too much. I skipped breakfast, and we went out for lunch where I had a bit of soup, 1 roll, a BLT club, and a few bites of fruit. And like 3 Cokes. But it was good.

I don't think I did a whole lot of munching in the afternoon until I started to get hungry again around supper time. I made up a big pan of chicken enchiladas, which turned out very nice. But in the course of that evening I also finished off the last 1/2 cup of sherbet, 4 pastry twists, a yogurt cup, and the last cup of Chex Mix. Weekends are definitely hard--too much unstructured time.

Sunday we took mom out for a belated mother's day. The place we went for bruch has amazing, rich food and I enjoyed it all. I had orange juice, eggs benedict, a very healthy portion of their ultra-rich hashbrown casserole, and a few bites of DH's bacon. I left noticably full, but not painfully stuffed.

Afterwards, we went back to mom's to help with chores. I planted flower seeds and helped condition one bed, did the shopping, and a couple of other small things. DH fixed her bedroom light and fan, which was a big help.

Mom seemed to be doing OK yesterday. I could see her shifting and twisting a bit with the pain, but at least she was awake and clear-eyed and able to enjoy her breakfast. I didn't see any evidence of nausea or anything. I was very grateful she had skipped the chemo on Friday--it seemed to make life a lot easier. Unfortunately, it doesn't really help with the big, overall cancer problem, but it was nice to have a good day.

We were both ravenous when we got home, so we ordered in italian. I had half of my lasanga, a garlic cheese bread, a can of Coke, and a big cookie with milk. On the plus side, I didn't eat the extra bread that came with my meal, nor did I order a 2-liter of Coke. So, that's something I guess?

We spent the rest of the evening just relaxing and complaining about how we didn't want to go to work on Monday. It was pretty nice.

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am so sorry about what is going on with your mom. I dont' know how I missed that part of your journal the last part of last week, I am so sorry, I must have been reading too fast or gotten interrupted. In any case, I can't imagine how this is for you and her. When my mom got sick she was already retired thank God. That really stinks about the nurse not listening to her. I remember times when my mom would get deferred from chemo and it would be nice to have that break. Hopefully your mom will get stronger with this week off and be able to tolerate it better next week. If that job of hers tries anything, she should call the labor board or something. I can only imagine how vulnerable you and her are feeling. I am glad you had a nice Mother's Day brunch, I think you are doing very well with food given what you are going through. I am just keeping you and your mom in my prayers. :hug:

Its funny how you posted about feeling in pain for something and then having to realize some people feel like that all the time. Just last week I was sick at my stomach and miserable and I thought of my poor mother and yours, and wondered how they have had the strength to face feeling like that all the time. I just don't know but I do know your mom is lucky to have your for a daughter.

Again, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Lesli54]

Sorry to hear that your mom is having a hard time with the dr. It is a shame when they don't seem to be listening. Keeping you all in my prayers to make it through.

You still look like you are making good conscious choices in your food even if it is not every time, it is ok. Remember, all this didn't happen over night and learning the reasons behind your food habits and changing them will need to take time. Keep up the good work. ::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: Just sending some hugs and good thoughts out your way. Hope things are better and that your mom is feeling stronger. :hug:

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq,

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and praying for you and your mom.:grouphug:

[goldcupmom]

Praying for all of you, Pearlie! I know this is a really hard time for you!

[toystoryduo]

Sending some more prayers and :hug: :hug: for you and your mom. Take good care of you and have a great weekend.:hug:

[toystoryduo]

Sent you a PM.....Hope you are doing well!:hug:

[pearlieq]

I miss all of you!

It's been a very busy couple of weeks. The last chemo drug was really hard on my mom, so they decided to switch it to another at her last appointment on Friday.

It seemed to be OK for a couple of days. She was a little tired and had some nausea, but it wasn't really debilitating. Not fun or anything, but she could manage. Unfortunately, after a couple of days she started getting pain at the site of her injection and all up through the vein and arm. It's just been getting worse, and I guess yesterday was pretty bad. Plus there is still nausea.

I felt so awful for her yesterday. I hate that totally impotent feeling--I can't make it better for her and it kills me. I think she went to work today--I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. She's supposed to have another dose on Friday, and I'm quite worried.

Other than that, I'm busy at work, as usual. I got asked to pick up another project on top of my current stuff. I think the universe is just conspiring to keep me safe and free from skin cancer, since I'm always too busy to go out and have fun during the summer! :laughing:

DH is going to be starting a new job in a few weeks. He actually just gave his notice at his current job today. I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited. He's very excited, and I'm happy for him. I'm taking him out for dinner tonight to celebrate.

That's all the news that's fit to print around these parts. I hope everyone is doing well!

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq,

Thanks for your PM.:hug:

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is having a tough time right now. She continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. :hug: I'm praying for you too. :hug:

Sending some :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: for your DH and his new job. I hope everything goes smoothly for him.:goodvibes

I hope work goes well for you too. :hug: Have a great Thursday!:goodvibes

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: Hope things are better with your mom, I have really been thinking about both of you. I hope that last episode improved. Also hoping that your dh is liking his new job. And as always, thinking of you and hoping you are hanging in there with all that you have going on. :hug:

[pearlieq]

Well, I've been MIA again.

Things haven't slowed down too much, unfortunately. The newest chemo drug was pretty awful for mom. It started out as just really bad vein pain where they injected it. She was trying to deal with it as best she could, but it was really hurting her ability to function.

Sadly, it didn't end there. I got a call from her a little over a week ago, right in the middle of the afternoon. She was really upset and in a lot of pain and wanted to go to the hospital. It's better if she goes to her main hospital where all of her doctors are, plus the hospital closest to her house not a great place (An ambulance took us there on Christmas, and they took my mother's health information down on a paper towel! Not exactly at the forefront of modern medicine there...)

So, DH and I went over there and drove her to her hospital. We were stuck in the ER until midnight that night, waiting to get her admitted. She's been there since then. They're hoping maybe she can go home this week.

Basically what happened was that the newest chemo drug killed all her white blood cells. She was at a huge risk of infection, so for the first several days she was in isolation, not allowed to have raw foods, and a whole bunch of other things. Her white counts were back to normal levels on Friday, I think, so at least that's better.

Unfortunately, the drug also killed off the lining of her digestive system, so she's in tons of pain and not really able to process food normally. She doesn't want to eat and has a lot of nausea. They don't really want to send her home until things are working normally (or close to it). So it could be another couple of days.

The whole thing is just of exhausting. Even when we're not there and there's nothing to do for her, everything still seems kind of "off". Lately it's felt like my life is just a blur of work, chores, hospital, work, chores, hospital, etc.

I don't know what's going to happen long-term, or even mediumish-term. I don't know if she's going to make it to her retirement date in January. Financially she really needs to, but that just may not be in the cards. I don't know what they're going to do about the chemo. We can't do this again. Are they going to give her the same drug in a smaller dose? Will that be effective against the cancer? Are they going to give her something else and see what it does to her? Are they going to stop the chemo? Would that be a good or bad thing?

I kind of have to compartmentalize to get through the day--if I let myself think about any of it too much it gets very upsetting. I'm trying to get things done and have a bit of my own life where I can.

I know life is full of seasons, but I don't think I'm going to look back on this one too fondly. I suppose all anyone can do, though, is try to make the best of it and find happiness where you can.

[toystoryduo]

Oh pearlieq, :hug:

I'm so sorry to hear about all that your mom has been through. :( Sending lots of prayers her way.....

I know how tough this must be for you. Please be sure and take extra special good care of you during this very stressful time.:hug: If there is anything that we can do, please let us know. You, your DH, and your mom are in our thoughts and prayers.:hug:

[pearlieq]

Well, things have settled down some, mercifully. Mom came home from the hospital on Tuesday night, and aside from a cold, seems to be bouncing back, slowly but surely. She gets tired easily from being inactive so long, but still looks relatively good, for her.

We saw her oncologist on Friday--she wants to keep her on the same drug, but at a reduced dose. We'll see... Mercifully, she got another week's break here, so she can try to get a bit stronger before it starts again.

We're settling back into our routine. So far this week has been MUCH less stressful. DH starts his new job on Monday, and he's still excited, so I'm trying not to be so nervous.

Hopefully things stay quiet for a while now!

I hope all is well with everyone! Good wishes to all!

[goldcupmom]

:hug: and MANY Prayers, Pearlie!! For you and your mom!!

Glad her white blood count is recovering. That's NOT a good scenario for anyone!

Will also be praying about the new job. The unknown is always so stressful! At least he is excited so far!!

hang in there. Life is so tough sometimes. One day at a time is good, sometimes one hour is about all I can manage at once.

Know we're here for you! Hope you're not getting the horrid storms & floods!!

[Amy&Dan]

Hey Pearlie, I sent you a pm but just want you to know how much I am thinking about you. I know my own mom had these exact same issues from her chemo and believe it or not it got better. She got six more years after her hospitalization/chemo issues. I am keeping you and your mom in my prayers. I know you are exhausted, I wish so much I could really do somethin for you. Just hang in there, we are all pulling for you and your mom.:hug:

I hope things are better.

[toystoryduo]

:hug: and prayers continue for you and your family, pearlieq.:hug: I'm glad to hear that the past week was much less stressful for you and that your mom is doing better.:hug: How does your DH like his new job?

Please be sure and take extra special, good care of you.:hug: If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.:hug:

[goldcupmom]

Hope things are OK, Pearlie! I know this is a rough time. Update us when you can! Still praying.......

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq,

How are you, sweetie? We miss you around here. :hug: Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. :hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: I hope things are going okay for you, you're in my thoughts and prayers. Sending some hugs and good wishes out to you and your mom. Hang in there my friend.:hug:

[pearlieq]

Surfacing again...

It was a quiet couple of weeks after mom came home from the hospital. I think she stayed home another week or two after she got out, and then went back to work one week. The break from chemo really seemed to do her a lot of good. Toward the end she was looking almost normal.

Unfortunately, last Friday she had to start up the chemo again. This time it's a new drug called carboplatin (sp?). So far it's made her really, really tired, (which was expected since she already had super low blood counts the day they gave it to her) but she hasn't sprouted horns or anything, which is always a relief because you just never know with this stuff...:rolleyes:

She's going to have a transfusion tomorrow, which will hopefully make her feel a little better. That's a loooooong appointment, but if it works it's totally worth it. One day at a time, I guess.

She officially put in her paperwork to retire at the end of Jan next year. It's a relief on many fronts, so now we're just praying she can make it until then. She wasn't able to work this week, but I'm hoping the transfusion and a lot of rest will make it work for next week.

DH is enjoying his new job, which I'm grateful for. It's a little maddening for me because he has lots of expenses, but has to get reimbursed for them instead of having an expense accout. I understand the the guys wanted to use their own cards so they could get miles, etc. but it just drives me bonkers to try to keep track of it all. Hopefully we'll work out a system here.

For my part, I seem to be working off of the same to do list:

--work
--take care of mom
--chores
--try to figure out what to do with my life

In the downtimes lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about that. When I'm not working or taking care of mom, I have seemingly endless downtime, and I need to figure out what to do with myself other than hanging around online and watching TV. That's not a life.

I just don't know what to do. Sad as it sounds, I really don't have any dreams. Wow--it's really depressing when you say it like that. But I just don't really have any goals. I don't have a deep, secret desire to climb mountains, start a business, or learn to paint or something like that. So what? What do I do with myself? I can't just sit around and watch VH1 specials for the next 60 years, you know?

So, that's pretty much it. Mom's continuing saga, DH's job, and my existential crises.

I did take a leap of faith (or denial, maybe?) today and I booked a room at SSR for me, DH, mom, and my brother to go to WDW next April. I know the odds aren't really in our favor that it will work out and mom will be well enough to travel, but it still felt good to do it. I really, really wish for this to work out.

I hope all is well with everyone else. I think of you all so frequently, even when I'm MIA.

[toystoryduo]

:hug: pearlieq~

It's good to hear from you WISH sis! We've missed you around here.:hug:

I'm glad to hear that your mom had a couple of quiet weeks before the chemo started again. I hope her transfusion goes well today.

I'm glad you're DH is enjoying his new job.:goodvibes I hear you about the expenses and keeping track of them though. My DH is self employed and we go through the same thing every month. It's definitely challenging!:hug:

I'm sending :wizard: :wizard: your way. I know what you mean about not having any dreams so to speak. :hug: I think the important thing to remember is that life is a journey and maybe the downtime in your life is preparing you for the next best thing to come. Keep on keeping on, WISH sis!:hug:

I hope you have a safe and Happy 4th of July. Please be sure and take good care of you!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I hope your mom's new chemo works and isnt' so harsh on her. That stuff is indeed scary. I know with my mom it took a few different types to find the right one. I hope this is the one for your mom. I think its great you made that trip plan. I took my mom to SSR and I remember thinking she probably wouldn't get to go. But she did and we had a marvelous time. SSR is lovely and very relaxing. Just think positive.

As for your life, can I say I feel your quandry? I think when you are taking care of a loved one it becomes your focus and you, yourself gets sort of lost in the shuffle. The answer to what you need to do for you will come in time. In the meantime, if watching some tv and being on the internet helps you to escape a bit, don't stress about it. I am thinking the rest of the world is doing pretty much the same things with thier free time too! Just keep your eyes, ears and heart open, something just right for you will come along.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers. You have been a good friend to me when my life was tough, we all understand that sometimes getting onto WISH isn't going to happen for you. So don't stress about that either.

Just hang in there sweetie, we are all pulling for you!!:hug:

[goldcupmom]

Hope things are improving a bit for your mom & the chemo. I"ll be thinking about you as I pass thru Chicago tomorrow on the train!!

Lots of prayers being said!!

[toystoryduo]

Sending prayers for you and your mom.....Hope all is well!:grouphug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq: Sending some good thoughts out to you and your mom and hoping things are going well. As always, you are in my prayers and thoughts. :hug: :flower3: :wizard:

[goldcupmom]

Hi, Pearlie! Thinking about you & praying all is going ok for you & your mom.

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

Just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and praying for you and your mom. I hope you'll post an update if you get a chance. We miss you!:hug:

[pearlieq]

9/21/08

Thank you so much for looking in on me and keeping us in your prayers. I think of you all so often as well, even when I'm not here.

This summer was kind of rough, but manageable, I suppose. I never know exactly what to say about how my mom is doing. She was in the hospital a couple of times this summer--one was just an overnight, and then she was in for a week over her birthday.

Things aren't going well, unfortunately. They don't seem to be able to get the cancer under control, no matter what chemo they give her. During her last hospital stay we found out that the cancer had eaten up more of her thigh, causing it to fracture. The cancer still seems to be active when they test her blood. They're now trying two different chemo drugs together, as kind of a hail-Mary to see if it helps. I'm not sure they have many more ideas.

I don't know quite what to think. November will make 2 years since they found the cancer spread. Statistically, most women with that have about 2-3 years. It's hard to think that this is the beginning of the end. Sometimes I look at her and she looks fine and this all feels so far away. Then, when things take a turn, she's so weak and hurting and it's very real.

Her oncologist is very positive, bordering on chirpy, which is nice, I guess, but I don't know what to expect. It's like I realize that she's not a woman in good health. Healthy people don't spend a week every month in the hospital. Healthy people don't need transfusions frequently. But it just doesn't seem real.

I'm turning 29 today, and what keeps running through my head is "What if this is the last birthday we share?" Everything has that gravitas. I guess I'm just glad we get to share this one.

Otherwise, it's been the same-old, same-old. I work, DH works, we do our thing, we get by.

I hope everyone is doing OK. I wish you all the very best.

[toystoryduo]

Oh pearlieq~

Sweetie, I wish I lived closer to you so I could give you a gentle hug.:hug: I'm so sorry to hear about all that your mom has been going through. You both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.:grouphug: If there is anything that we can do for you, please let us know.:grouphug:

Sending our love and prayers from Ohio......:grouphug:

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq, I am so sorry things haven't been going better. I know right where you are with this thing with your mom. Wanting to be hopeful, but also needing to face facts. I had one of those chirpy oncologists too. My best advice is to talk to one of the nurses. They tend to know much better ways to deal with famlies. I am all for being optimistic but as the family, you also have to have the facts. Just hang in there. I hope this chemo works. If it doesn't, just know that your mom has options. Going on hospice can sometimes prolong life since they are all about getting patiensts comfortable and living whatever quality of life is available. Which is sometimes more than you might think. You have been a wonderful daughter and caregiver. You and your husband have risen to this occasion with love and grace and total dedication. That says so much about who you are.

Please take care of yourself through all that you have on your plate. You are so young to be dealing with all of this. I hope you had a happy birthday yesterday! I know how hard it is to exist inside this illness your mom is dealing with.

Don't lose hope and know that we are all here for you. Take care of you my good friend!:hug:

[goldcupmom]

Wow, Pearlie!! I hope yesterday was an OK Birthday, despite the situation.

This is a really hard time for you, and it's terrible that anyone has to go thru this. Hang in there, try to cherish the time you have left & create lasting memories.

You & your mom will be staying in my prayers, as always. We're all here for you when you need us!! :grouphug:

[toystoryduo]

Hi Pearlieq~

I wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you and your mom. :hug: I hope you get a chance to post an update on how everyone is doing soon. We miss you around here!:grouphug:

Have a great Wednesday!:goodvibes

[goldcupmom]

Thinking about you & Praying, Pearlie!

:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pealie, just sending some hugs and prayers out to you. You are always on my mind and in my heart. I hope things are better.:hug:

[pearlieq]

You guys are so sweet! Thanks for looking in on me. I think of you every day too.

Things are...going, I guess. After the last hospital stay (early Oct, if memory serves--it's all a blur) they switched her chemo again. She just finished the first cycle of two new drugs. It's not the worst she's ever had, but not fun either. Lots of mouth sores with this one and she's needed 4 units of blood to keep her red counts livable.

We see her doctor on Friday, but I'm assuming she'll do another cycle of this and then see where the tumor markers are.

I can't really say she's had a "good" day for a while. She's sleepy all the time and can't do much. And she's not eating hardly anything. I'm starting to see that she's going to need more care soon, but I'm not sure we've got a lot of good options on that front. Sometimes I have to remind myself to keep today's problems for today and let tomorrow's come tomorrow.

On an up note, it's looking like she's going to get to retire early, so yay for that! She's trying to decide between either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Personally I think Christmas is the best choice, but we'll see. Either way, it's a heck of a lot better than late Jan!

DH and I are doing pretty well. DH has started working out pretty regularly and has made a few improvements to his diet, so he's losing weight like a fiend! He's probably down at least 50 pounds and is down about 6" around his waist! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it...:rolleyes1

Of course, he's dragging his feet about buying new clothes. He keeps insisting "I can just poke a new hole in my belt!" So I've been having fun teasing him about his Hammer-pants. :laughing:

I'm down a few pounds myself, but nowhere near what he's done. We've been eating in a bit more and I've been trying to keep better things around the house. When I weighed myself today I was down to 349.5, which means I fit on the doctor's scale again. It's funny the little milestones we have for different weights.

I'll be trying to keep it up, and ideally I'd like to start visitng that gym I'm paying for, but, as Tracy says, baby steps. :)

I can't believe the holdiays are just around the corner. We'll be having both at my house since we've got a ramp for Mom. My brother is coming for Christmas and my evil Aunt won't be at either, so it's looking promising! I'm having my annual cookie exchange party the first weekend of December which will be a lot of fun.

We're kicking around the idea of going somewhere early in the year. Both the DCL deal and the 7 for 4 deal are tempting. We aren't going anywhere until the trip with Mom in late April so there's a nice big stretch of time in there to fit in a trip. I'm having trouble convincing myself to jump. DH and I don't appear to be too badly affected so far, but with the way things are going, I'm thinking twice about spending on a trip. We'll see...

I hope everyone is well. Love and good wishes to all of you!

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I am so glad to see you around here, we have missed you! But know that you have so many priorities in life right now. I am so proud that in the midst of all of this stress, you and your dh have been changing habits and living a healthier lifestyle. Fitting on the doctor's scale is a huge milestone, so very good job!:thumbsup2 :goodvibes

I am so glad your mom is able to retire before the end of the year, what a huge relief that must be. This chemo sounds brutal, I am really praying it helps. I so remember those days of rounds of chemo hell, then waiting for the tumor markers and scans to see how it did. I am praying for your mom, you your husband and all the rest of your family. As you say, one day at a time. Is there a social worker that your mom's oncologist can recommend for options with long term care? I know these are not easy things to deal with, just keep hanging in there.

Go on a trip! A cruise is my vote for what that's worth! Man, if I had the money, I"d go with you. Times are scary but given what you are going through, I say go for it. If not a big trip, maybe just a weekend with some nice, fine dining, massages or whatever else you can do to pamper yourselves. You guys have earned it.

Again, so good to see you. And also again, I am super proud of you!:hug:

[pearlieq]

It's great to see you too, Amy! Thanks so much for the prayers and good thoughts.

Yesterday was a fairly decent day. It's been kind of slow at work this week, which I'm thrilled about. I tried to tackle a few projects around the house and start to get ready for the holidays.

A while back Amazon had a case sale on groceries and they happened to include the food my cats eat, so I went ahead and bought a case. Naturally, no sooner do I get it home then the little stinkers decide the don't like it anymore! They still like the same brand when I buy it from our local grocery store, but maybe the kind Amazon had was from a different processing plant or something.

I wanted it to go to good use, so I took it up to the county animal control facility. I had never been there before. It looked like an OK place--not the best shelter I've ever seen but not too bad. They said they could use the food, so that was a plus. I guess they're really full--they even had a sign up saying they couldn't take more cats. Of course, I told DH this and he said "We could take more cats". Yipes! I love them and all, but I don't know if I'm ready to have 3 or 4!!! We'll see...

We decided a little while back that Wednesdays would be "no TV" night at our house. I expected it to be a hard sell, but DH is actually more enthusiastic about it than I am most weeks. I think that's because he's got it in his head that if we can't watch TV we'll find other ways to occupy our time :rolleyes1 . Men...:)

It's actually really nice. We spend way too much time in front of the TV and our laptops and so when we turn them off we're a little adrift, but we actually cook dinner together and talk which is cool. DH surprised me by asking if we could start reading a book together again. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed that.

I'm going out tonight to try to get some holiday shopping done. I need to find things to fill gift baskets for all of my mom's employees and I have to find favors for my cookie exchange. I'm totally out of ideas. Hopefully inspriation will strike at the store.

I bumped my party up a week to accomodate a friend who is going to be out of town and now I realize I'm going to need to scramble to get everything set up with only a week after Thanksgiving!

[pearlieq]

I am so hungry!!!!!!

I have to fast for a blood test this morning and unfortunately it's not until 9:30 and I woke up around 7:00. I'm dying! I have visions of everything from meatballs to Red Robin dancing in my head. I don't even like Red Robin all that much!

I'm down another couple of pounds, which is nice. Ironically, I haven't really been trying too terribly hard. I've been trying harder to be frugal, which I guess has the side benefit of helping me drop a pound or two.

Is that really it? All the years, the diets, the doctors, the psychologists, the eating disorder specialists, the journals, the Weight Watchers, the threats of surgery and it's going to come down to the fact that I'm too cheap to weigh this much?!?

The shopping trip last night was fairly successful. I picked up some placemats for myself. They're light blue organza with glittery snowflakes on them. They're so pretty!

I also think I solved the problem of Mom's gift baskets. I had originally ordered these adorable Christmas towel sets from The Lakeside Collection, but, as with everything else with them I'm told, it was backordered. Between the "you must allow 7-14 business days for processing" and the "you must allow 15 business days for shipping" it wasn't going to get to us until mid January! What a crock!

So I had to abandon that idea and try to find something else. Luckily I stopped by Big Lots last night and they had reasonably cute little fleece throws with holiday designs. The price was right, so I snapped up 7. Hopefully that will be a reasonable substitute. I'm also going to put in some mini Bath & Body Works items, Frango mints, and a Dunkin Donuts gift card.

My mom decided to retire before Thanksgiving, which is a bit of a shock. She's having a lot of pain around her original tumor site and just said she can't do the whole daily grind anymore. This all just happened so quickly that my head is still spinning a bit. I'm happy for her, but nervous about all the details including her retiree health insurance. I think things are going to be very tight for her. But hopefully it all works out and she can take it much easier now.

While I was at Big Lots I happened to find 10 packs of the new Fiber One bars marked at $2.50 each! That's about half of the price of the grocery store, so I snapped up almost everything they had. So now I'm the owner of 120 Fiber One bars, which is awesome! If you haven't tried them you must. They are so good!!! Nothing with that much fiber has any right to taste that good!

I'm off to go stare at them now since I can't eat them. I hope everyone has a great day!

[Lesli54]

I am so hungry!!!!!!

... and it's going to come down to the fact that I'm too cheap to weigh this much?!?


:rotfl2:

Well, Pearlieq, I can definitely say that you made my day. Took think, all of the money you could have saved along with the lbs had you been too cheap sooner.;)

I am glad to hear that your mom will be able to retire early. I know that it has been of great concern to you. Hopefully, this will allow her to not be as tired. My prayers keep going out to the two of you as you work through these health issues together.

It sure is good to hear that your DH has lost so much weight and is feeling better. On the plus side of things, you have been wanting him to get on board with you with better eating while you were trying to lose weight. I think you now have your support system at home, which is awesome. Health wise, this extra lbs off must be helping with his diabetes. Now for the "hammer pants"........it is understandable that he doesn't want to "waste" money buying clothes when he can adjust his belt, we all try that. But you and I know that 50 lbs is alot of adjustment. If it doesn't see the reasoning behind the better professional look that he will have in the work place with better fitting clothing, then here's another idea. Take him to the store or thrift shop, whichever you please, and ask him to just "try" some new clothes on so that you have an idea of what his new size is since Christmas is coming up. He doesn't have to buy anything. My guess is that when he sees what he looks like with the new clothes and hear's all the wonderful comments that you will be giving him, he will buy some. It's easy to not see how much better you look when you keep hiding behind the "too bigs". Then as soon as you get home, get rid of the others.:rolleyes1

Your party's always sound like such fun! Hope you have a wonderful weekend. ::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq!

It's great to "see" you!:banana: I'm glad to hear that your mom can retire early. I hope that helps her out. I know that these health issues have been difficult for you both. I am praying that healthy and happier days are ahead!:hug:

Great job on your holiday shopping and on the Fiber One bars deal! :santa:

I hope you have a great week ahead. I'll be praying!:hug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlie,

That is good your mom retired. I think enough is enough! Hopefully she can mkae ends meet, that is so often the challenge with people who get sick and it just adds to the whole issue. So I am going to say a prayer for that too!

That is great you and your husband are doing your own little book club. And turning off the tv is also great. Its funny, during the holidays Dan and I swear off tv, too much to do, we like to sit by the tree and just talk, but come January its back to the tube. Maybe I need to have a designated no fly zone with our tv one or two nights a week!

I LOVE Fiber One bars too. I agree, they taste way too good to be healthy. Way to go with the Chrismtas shopping. I need to go to Big Lots. Sounds like you got some good stuff.

Hang in there and keep up the good work. I love it, too cheap to be overweight! :rotfl:

[toystoryduo]

Hi pearlieq~

I want to stop by and wish you, your DH, and your mom a Happy Thanksgiving!:goodvibes You are all in my thoughts and prayers.:grouphug:

[goldcupmom]

Quickly catching up a bit.....

Congrats on the Weight Loss Milestone!! That's really an awesome happening!

I'm right there with you on the Fiber One bars. I have a secret stash in a square plastic container in my bedroom....probably at least as many as you have!! Bought on sale with really good coupons! I still love the chocolate most!

I'm glad your mom is able to retire & hope she can enjoy life a bit yet. So hard for both of you!

Kudos to your DH, too! Definitely needs some new threads, tho!

[toystoryduo]

Happy New Year, Pearlieq!

I hope you and your family have a healthy and Happy New Year!:grouphug:

[goldcupmom]

Happy New Year, Pearlie! Hope all is well with you & your family!

We miss you here!! Praying for you all!

[Amy&Dan]

Happy New Year Pearlieq! You are always in my thoughts, hope your mom is doing well. We miss you!

Amy

[goldcupmom]

Thinking about you, Praying for you & pushing you back to the top so we don't lose you!!!

Hope all is well......

[Lesli54]

Thinking about you and your mom. I hope your holidays were good. Did you decide on which trips you are doing this year? ::MickeyMo::MickeyMo

[toystoryduo]

Thinking about you and praying for you and your family.:grouphug: Hope everyone is doing well!:goodvibes

[pearlieq]

Hi!

I just got done with a big part of a huge work project, and I'm celebrating by taking the night off and just doing fun things.

So, in that spirit, I thought I'd come see about everyone here.

Things are all right with me. Not great, but not too bad either.

My mom is getting by. She was in the hospital for about 10 days in late Jan/early Feb with pressure sores and some new cancer in her shoulder. She refused to go to rehab afterwards and insisted on coming home, which was just awful. She couldn't really take care of herself, so her roommate and I were unceremoniously thrust into the role of full-time caregivers. It was pretty awful for a few weeks, and if we ever find ourselves in that situation again I will do everything in my power to steer her into rehab.

The worst seems to be over now--she's gained a lot of her independence back, which lightens the load on me a bit. She's still not driving, but hopefully that will come soon. She's getting more used to the idea that her current living situation isn't going to work indefinitely, and even asked to go look at assisted living places. I don't think she's going to make a move soon unless she has to, but at least the groundwork is laid.

I'm coping. Some days are better than others.

DH took a new job in January, and this one is working out really well, with the tiny exception of him traveling 3-5 days every week. In all honestly, though, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I kind of like having my weeknights to myself. The pace of life is much more hectic, but he really likes his work and that makes a big difference for us.

DH actually has a convention at WDW in mid-April and I'm going to tag along on that. I cannot wait--I'm going to have a whole week off! No mom, no work, no household responsibitilies. Just relaxation. I'm so excited!

A couple of weeks after that we're still tentatively planning to take Mom to WDW. So far things are looking good, so as long as our luck holds I think we'll be able to make it. Here's hoping!

Health and weight-wise, things are largely the same--not worse, and not really better. I'm staring down the barrel of 30 this fall, and I need to get my can in gear. I don't want to end up like my mom.

I hope everyone here is happy and healthy. Sending lots of love and :wizard: to everyone!

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq! I am so happy to see you! I am glad that in spite of some scary times, things with your mom are a bit more stable. I am so happy that you get to go to WDW and spend some time relaxing and am really keeping my fingers crossed that your trip with her works out. AKV looks so nice!:thumbsup2

Its funny, Dan travelled to San Diego 3-4 days a week and like you, it was so much better than I thought. If the job is good, its easy enough to make those adjustments. And if your husband gets to fly, ff miles are great to have!

I remember staring down the barrel of 30! You have so much going on so just take the little steps that you can, when you can, it all adds up. I know you ca do it and I know you will.

Know that I am always thinking of you and keeping you and your mom in my prayers. I know that road you are on sweetie and it isn't easy. We miss you around here but know how busy you are. And always look forward to when you stop by to update us and say hi!:grouphug::):goodvibes

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

It's so nice to see you ol' friend.:hug: I am glad that you were able to take some time away from things for a moment to stop and "see" us.

Thankfully, you have made it through some tough times lately. I agree with you on the rehab though. It is amazing how much that can help and they can show the person needing rehab how to get around things and become more independent faster. Hopefully, you won't have to go down that road again. It must be a bit of a relief to hear that your mom is considering the option that she may eventually have to move. Although that may not be any time soon, it would be a wise idea if you start researching some places just so that you can weed out the ones that are not acceptable and you can find out who has a wait list and how long it is. It may sound like just one more thing to do, but DH and I have been down this road a few times and having a good idea of where to go and which places to avoid sure does make things easier if you do reach the point of needing a to move your mom.

On another note, it is great to hear that you DH has a new job that he enjoys. It's good to hear that you were able to make the adjustment better than you originally thought. Time away from your DH can be a good thing. Not only do you get the time to unwind and relax, but you can have more fun enjoying those moments when he is home.

By the way, can you fit me into you suitcase when you go to WDW?:worship: It has been so tempting to buy more points so that we can go more often. After this winter, I'll bet you will be thrilled to get away to FL. Not to mention twice in a row.

I hear you about not wanting the same weight related problems that other family members have. For me, I am comparing myself to my grandmother. It is hard to focus on weight when you have caregiving responsibilities, but maybe you can make some small changes (one at a time) that will make a difference in you health in the long run. You and I started the challenge "together" and I know you can make the changes needed.

Come on back when you get a chance. Even if all you have time for is to vent a little, we are willing to listen. Take care!:hug:

[toystoryduo]

It's so great to see you here, Pearlieq!!!:yay:

It sounds like you and your mom have had a rough couple of months. I'm glad to hear that she is doing better now and that she has been able to regain some of her independence back.:goodvibes

That is wonderful that your DH has a new job that he likes!:thumbsup2 And how cool is that that he is in my neck of the woods this week? :wave: We live about a half hour from Cleveland so I'm sure he is in the vicinity somewhere.

That is great that you have a WDW trip planned! It sounds like you could use a vacation and what better place that WDW? ::MickeyMo

You and your mom are in our thoughts and prayers. I hope you'll check back soon. We miss you around here!:hug:

[goldcupmom]

Pearlie I am SO GLAD to 'see' you back here! You & your DH & mom have been in my prayers.

You really need that vacation to WDW & I hope you take full advantage of the time away!

Hope you get to pop in a bit more often. How are the kitties??

[pearlieq]

I could really use any mojo anyone's got to send our way!

We're supposed to head to WDW with Mom on Sunday, and things are looking iffy. Over the last couple of weeks her pain has really ramped up and the last couple of days have been bad. We see the doctor tomorrow, but we only have a couple more days before we have to make a go/no go decision.

I could really use any prayers and :wizard: anyone can spare. I can't tell you how badly we all want this, not only to make it there, but to have Mom be able to enjoy it.

I hope everyone is doing well!

[Lesli54]

Sorry to hear that things are not going well with your mom. Hopefully, she is feeling better soon and the dr. gives her the ok to go.

Sending lots of prayers and :wizard::wizard::wizard::wizard::wizard: your way.

Take care of yourself:hug: and remember, we are just a post away.

[toystoryduo]

Oh Pearlieq,

Sending lots of prayers and :wizard::wizard::wizard::wizard: your way today. I hope your mom is feeling better soon and that you are all able to go to WDW.:grouphug:

Please update us when you can.:hug:

[pearlieq]

Thank you so much for the prayers and good wishes. It really makes a difference!

Yesterday was a long day with Mom, but ultimately an OK one. She had her appointment with the wound clinic who did debridement on her wound, which was very rough on her. It was really hard to watch her be in so much pain.

Worse, the doctor recommended that she not go to WDW. He thought that it was too risky with the extra activity of traveling and a different environment. He said that she took a chance on worsening her sores and developing new ones.

That really got Mom upset, and I was pretty shaken up too. However, we talked about it, and we decided to discuss it with the cancer center before making any final decision.

Her regular oncologist wasn't there, but the nurse practitioner, who we know pretty well, met with us. She strongly encouraged us to go ahead and go. She said (quite rightly, I think) that doing anything had a certain amount of risk in Mom's situation and she needed to go and do something to make her happy. Her quality of life is just as important as her physical health and that if any issues came up, we'd deal.

Mom and I both thought that was quite sensible, though we do understand that the wound care doctor was just trying to play it safe and didn't really know the particulars of Mom's situation. She's going to have her regular wheelchair and a hospital bed for our room, so the things that touch her body shouldn't be all that different from how it is at home. Plus, DH and I will both be there to look out for her.

So, after all that, we're on. Unless something terrible happens in the next couple of days, we're going to make the trip. It just was a very stressful day getting there.

I actually wound up having a bit of an anxiety attack at the cancer center because it just all caught up with me at once. But talking with them was really helpful and it helped me calm down a bit too.

In a way, I really needed this experience. Just a week ago, I was starting to feel like this trip was going to be a big hassle and was a bad idea. Now I get how truly precious this opportunity is and I'm starting to get a bit more zen about the whole thing. We've planned and prepared as much as we can, at this point what going to happen is going to happen. We just need to relax and roll with the punches.

Again, I really appreciate all the support. You guys are the best! :love:

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlieq: I don't know how I missed your update a few days ago, but I am so glad you decided to go! I am so glad you discussed it with the cancer center and in my opinion, a nurse practioner is the BEST person to talk with! Nurses seem to look at all the angles and can always offer so much good advice on a human and patient level. I am praying for a safe, healthy trip for your mom, I think this is just what she and you and your dh all need. So have fun, you have all the bases covered and I am betting your mom really perks up.

Have fun, you are always in my prayers and I am saying some extra ones that your trip is perfect for all three of you!:goodvibes:hug:

[toystoryduo]

Oh Pearlieq,

I am so glad that you have decided to go to WDW!:goodvibes I agree with the nurse practitioner who said that your mom's quality of life is just as important as her physical health and that she needed to do something that make her happy. I pray that this is a wonderful vacation for all of you!:grouphug:

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

I saw your post go through my email yesterday, but just couldn't get here to reply.

I think your choice to go is a good one as it is important to maintain as much quality of life as possible. You and your mom know all the risks and everything that you should look out for, besides I am sure that the med team at WDW is an excellent one. Relax and enjoy the time that you have together!

Of course, you can always pack me in your suitcase, the weather around here has really been rough on the mind.;)

If we don't see you before you leave, have a good trip.:wizard:

[toystoryduo]

Hope you're having a wonderful time in WDW, pearlieq!!!!!!:cool1: Please let us know how your trip went when you get back.:hug:

Have a safe flight home!:grouphug:

[goldcupmom]

I'm praying you are having a wonderful time making many great memories at WDW!!

[toystoryduo]

Hi Pearlieq,

Thought I'd stop by and see how your WDW vacation went. I hope everyone had a great time!:goodvibes

Have a great day today!:hug:

[toystoryduo]

Hi Pearlieq~

Thought I'd stop by and see how you are doing. :flower3: I hope this finds you and your family doing well. :goodvibes How is your mom? You are all in my thoughts and prayers.:grouphug:

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlie, Tracy and I must be on the same wavelength thinking about you. Hope all is well with you and your mom. Just wanted to send some good thoughts and hugs out to you.:goodvibes:hug::flower3:

[pearlieq]

Re-emerging again...

THANK YOU so much to everyone for the kind words, well wishes, and for checking up on me. You ladies are truly wonderful people.

Mom, DH, and I did make it to WDW. There were a few bumps, but on the whole we had a wonderful time and I'm so glad we went. I will try my best to post pictures as soon as I can.

If we had been off by a little as a week, we wouldn't have been able to make the trip as Mom's health continutes to decline. But the important part is that we were able to make it, and I still marvel at how the universe works.

Since we've gotten back her condition has progressed more and she's not doing so great. She developed her first skin wounds in Jan and now she's got 5, including a really severe on on her right calf. She's actually back in the hospital now trying to fight an infection in that wound.

She was in the hospital for about 10 days over Memorial Day. We met with the oncologist after that and she recommended Mom pursue hospice. She estimates Mom likely has about 6-12 months left, maybe a little more or less since things are unpredictable, but 2 years would be very, very unlikely.

She used to be very chirpy and make a point of saying that Mom's kind of cancer can be a chronic condition that could be managed over years. So it's disconcerting that she's putting out hard numbers now. Mom really isn't ready to accept the idea of hospice, which I wish were not the case, but I'm trying to be supportive. For my part, I swing between hoping the onc is wrong and praying that she isn't. That might sound terrible to some people, but I think anyone who has been in this situation would understand.

Mom's not really at a point where she should be alone anymore, so we've renovated our house for her to move in with us. That should be happening in the next couple of weeks after she gets out of the hospital. We were able to enclose our living and dining room into a sort of apartment for her and to make her her own bathroom, so I hope that will be enough space for everyone.

I'm nervous about it, if I'm being honest. Mom and I don't have the best relationship, even though we do love each other a lot. With all the medication and confusion she can be somewhat difficult to deal with. And I'm worried that instead of her living with us being easier, it will morph into 24 hours a day of servitude from which I can never escape.

My life really has become about Mom, for the most part. I dropped down to PT at work, which they were really nice about, but after that and taking care of her, there's not a lot left over. I'm struggling with that, since it really feels like my life is not mine and hasn't been for a while. But, for better or for worse, this too shall pass and I feel the need to see the situation with Mom through to the end and do the best I can for her.

So that's my life these days. I'm trying to look out for my health both because I need to be at my best and because I don't want to end up like her. I want to make an effort to journal again, but I know I won't be able to be as consistent about it as I would like. Still, I think it would be helpful.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the caring and support you all have shown me. I hope someday I can return the favor.

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle :hug: your way, pearlieq. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I'm sorry to hear about your mom and the obstacles she is facing right now. :( I think it's wonderful of you to take her in and to help her through this. :hug: Please remember that you will definitely need to take some time for you each day and that your health is very, very important too. I'll be praying for you both.:hug:

If there is anything that we can do for you, please let us know. Always know that we are here for you, my friend.:grouphug:

[pearlieq]

7/13/09

9:30ish

--2c leftover tortellini & peas w/boursin
--sm bowl cherries

I've never been a traditionalist when it comes to breakfast. This sounded good and got me fed.

I figured that even if I couldn't journal perfectly, I could at least try to journal. I need to let go of perfect and focus on one good change at a time.

Today's been pretty quiet--just meetings at work and checking in with Mom. I'm going over to the hospital to see her tonight. She's got at least a couple more days while the IV antibiotics do their thing.

1:15pm

--BLT on Ciabatta
--sm handful tortilla chips w/ 1T ranch dip
--1/2 peach
--5 strawberries
--yogurt cup

Suprised I'm hungry again after a rich breakfast, but there it is. We got these ciabatta at Sam's this weekend and they're wonderful. I've been on a real BLT kick lately. I buy the pre-cooked bacon and add romaine lettuce and grape tomatoes. Tasty and easy.

DH and I decided to take a quick weekend trip to WDW for MNSSHP. I liked it so much the year we went. We're trying to do one weekend thing a month just to try to keep a pressure valve and some fun in our lives. DH is traveling M-F for work these days and I'd love to be able to tag along, but that's just not in the cards right now. So this is our substitute. I'm really looking forward to it!

[toystoryduo]

Woohoo!!! A fall trip to WDW!:yay: Sounds like a perfect weekend getaway to me!:cloud9:

Your food is looking good today. Keep up the good work!:cheer2:

[Lesli54]

Good afternoon, Pearlieq!:goodvibes

It is so good to see you back on the boards. I am sending you tons of :wizard::wizard: and :hug::hug: as you work through through things with your mom. It is completely understandable that your feelings and thoughts are on two sides of the fence. I think that is just human, especially when faced with major medical situations.

Even though you may not have much time, I do think that journaling what you can when you can will help relieve some stress for you so make sure to check back often.;)

Well, at least you made it through your quick renovations. Send some luck for mine.:rolleyes1

At any rate, just try to take each day as it comes. Thinking too far ahead at this point can be overwhelming. It won't be easy all the time, but enjoy the good days as they come. I think that making time once a month to do something with your DH will go along way in keeping up your strength and resolve. If you need anyone to talk to, just know that we are here for you. I think that many of us has dealt with or been close to the same situation you are going through now.:hug:

Hope your day is a good one.

[Amy&Dan]

Pearlie, I am so glad to see you, but so sad things have gotten to this point.

First of all, its perfectly okay to feel as you do. I remember having those same feelings when they suggested hospice for my mom. Its not an easy existance, being a caregiver and just watching while someone you love is dealing with a terminal disease. And I've been there with feeling like my life is a vacum and a never ending stream of taking care of someone else with no happy end in sight. Just know that you are being a wonderful daughter and also know its always okay to feel the stresses and strains that brings into your life.

If you don't have much in the way of support, ask around at your mom's doctor about maybe getting someone into your house to help with cleaning, bathing and even someone to sit with your mom while you and your dh go out if you feel she can't be left alone. Oncologist offices generally have all sorts of information. I know ours turned me onto a social worker who became one of my best sources of information and assistance.

I am so glad you are journaling, we always love to see you. I am so glad you got to WDW, it sounds like the timing was perfect. Just hang in there my friend, there's never an easy way to get through this but you are strong and I know you will. I hope your mom will reconsider hospice. It can actually prolong life and the amount of support, care and pain management it brings to her life and yours is beyond wonderful. She'll come around soon hopefully on that.

I am so glad you are planning a trip during MNSSHP! That's about my favorite time of year at WDW and you guys totally deserve that.

I am saying lots of prayers for you and sending you some hugs too. :hug:

[Lesli54]

Thinking about you alot and hoping that you managing well. I know things are very stressful and very busy for you right now. Just know that you are in our prayers.

[toystoryduo]

Hi Pearlieq~

How are you, my friend? :hug: It's been awhile since we have heard from you. I hope you and your family are doing well. Please post an update when you can. We miss you!:grouphug:

[Amy&Dan]

I second what Tracy said Perlie. We really miss you and you stay in my thoughts.:hug:

I hope things are going well and hope to "see" you soon!:goodvibes

[toystoryduo]

Happy Thanksgiving, Pearlieq! :hug: How are you, my friend? I hope you are doing well. :goodvibes Please post an update when you get a chance. Have a wonderful day!:hug:

[toystoryduo]

:santa: Merry Christmas to you and your family, pearlieq! :grouphug:

[Lesli54]

Thinking of you and hoping that the holidays were good to you. Remember you and your family are in my prayers.:hug: