At what age can a child go into the bathroom alone?

[imgoingtodisney]

My husband and I have been allowing our 9yr son to go into the boys bathroom by himself. Especially when he has to get there very quickly - he may RUN ahead. My MIL and SIL do not agree with this and say times have changed. At what age is it safe to be in the bathroom alone?

[wdwobsessed]

My Five (almost 6) year old crys and throws a fit if I make him go into the ladies room.

I have started letting him go into the Men's room by himself with me standing right at the door.

If he seems to be taking too long I will crack the door and call him. Usually he announces that hes' doing #2 and he can't hurry up! lol

I would not let him go in by himself if I were not right there ... when DH is around ... of course he takes him.

With a 9 year old ... I would think as long as you can follow him visually by sight to the restroom ... he'd be OK.

As far as going to the RR by himself and then say meeting you back at a designated place. I would not feel comforatable until around age 11ish.

Just my opinion.

wdwo

[rbuzzotta]

Luckily I have 3 Dd's and do't have to worry about going into opposite sex bathrooms. I did notice on our last WDW vacation that they had companion rest rooms and my DH took my youngest DD into that a few times. My oldest DD is 10 and I let her go in alone only if I stay outside and know that there is only one way in and one way out. If she is taking too long, I go right in! It is scarey but when do you let them begin to have responsiblity in this craxy world??

[beattyfamily]

I really feel for parents who have a child of the opposite sex and don't have the other parent to take them in.

It's really hard to say what is a good age in these times.

You must already know about that murder a few years ago, I think it was at the beach or something and the aunt let the boy go in by himself (she really didn't have a choice) and I think he was either 9 or 12 and the murderer was waiting/hiding already in the bathroom for his next victum. She thought he was in there alone. There was no other way out. She thought he'd be safe. It's just so sad.

I'm sorry to bring this sad story into the WDW boards, but I just wanted share this story just in case you hadn't heard it so you can decide when is a good age for children to go in alone.

Luckily I have girls and my husband isn't alone with them too often.
:( :( :(

[Lorix2]

beattyfamily - omigosh. I was just thinking the same thing while reading this post. I was horrified when I read that story awhile back. I let my DD go alone, but only after I've walked thru and know nobody else is in there, then I stay by the outside door. If someone goes in, so do I. You just cannot be too careful these days unfortunately.

[LKS]

My 9yo son will be going into public Mens' restrooms by himself as he is just TOO big to be in a ladies room. I think I started sending him there at about 6 or 7. I expect him to be safe there although I'll probably be nervous if I think he's taking too long. My husband already sends my 7yo daughter into the ladies room alone because as soon as she was old enough to manage the logistics herself, he said, and I agree, that she was too old for the mens' room - urinals are generally not in stalls. My 4yo son still needs help with the faucets, soap etc... so he goes in to the ladies room with me if necessary.

I wouldn't be surprised if the kids are statistically safer in the restrooms at Disney than they are on the plane flying down, which we already know is statistically safer than driving there.

[Jordan's MOM]

This is such a tough issue for moms and sons.My DS (9) can go alone as long as I can stand right outside of the restroom and I feel it is a fairly safe place.The problem comes when I have to go.No way will I leave DS outside of the restroom in a public place.He goes in and stands right inside of the door and waits on me.We discuss together what the safe option is and he is Ok with that.Sorry, fit or not a five year old is too young to be safe in many bathroom situations.So glad DH will be with us at Disney.Many bathrooms there have more than one exit and I do not feel safe with him alone in there.Yes I am over protective, but I love my kid.
Jordan's Mom

[pentex]

That is such an awful story about that poor boy and his aunt.

I do let my 9 year old go into the Ladies Room by herself in certain circumstances. I stand right outside and only if it is an active bathroom, i.e. lots of people coming in and out (not an inactive bathroom where you never know who could be lurking). I go in with her whenever is possible but when it's not I am standing right outside.

I am sure that poor aunt is feeling so guilty about what happened, but I guess in reality if she had gone in with him, they would both be dead.

[wendyww]

My son is 8 and I let him go to the men's room only if I am outside waiting for him. If I have to go I make him wait just inside the ladies room door. If its way to crowded where we are at then we all go into the ladies room. :D

[bigsis1970]

I really hadn't thought much about it.. My Ds is 5 and i mostly make him go in the ladies
room but on a few occasions he has had a fit when he saw another male go in the men's
room about wanting to go in.. I have let him and wait very nervously til he comes out. like
wdwobsessed i do call in if its been too long - over a minute - little boys are much quicker
than little girls.. I can only hope that while we are in Disney he will be ok with the ladies room
I think i will tell him that you have to be 6 at Disney to go in the boys room by yourself!! LOL

[Tracy M]

Maybe I've watched too many Datelines....but my son is 8yo & I still take him w/me in the ladies room. Anything can happen in a split second....even when you're waiting right outside. I'm just not comfortable with leaving him alone yet.

He's actually used to it now (and yes..it bothers him at times) but there's almost always other boys in there too with their moms.

[cgcw]

I don't know at what age they should be able to go alone, but my 6 year old son always comes with me when my husband isn't around. Someday, I know he'll have to move onto the men's room by himself but I to heard the story of the little boy murdered in a bathroom and don't want my son to become another victim. In fact, when we do together and he's in a separate stall, I have him wait in there until I knock on the door to let him know to come out. Just another safety measure.

[CindyAnn]

I'm like Jordan's MOM, in that I'm even more concerned when I have to go to the bathroom. My DS recently turned 8 and I'm still very uncomfortable letting him go on his own or leaving him ouside the women's washroom while I go. It's especially difficult since I always have 5yo DD with me, and it takes longer to help her with her hands, etc.

If DS goes in on his own, after about 30 seconds I bellow "Don't forget to wash your hands" through the door, and he knows he has to answer. Actually, he wouldn't ever, EVER forget to wash his hands, but I need to hear his voice. Fortunately, most of the time DH is with us, so it isn't an issue.

I also wanted to repeat Jordan's MOM's comment about the fact that some of the washrooms at WDW have more than one exit. Make sure you orient yourselves as to which exit you're meeting at before anyone separates to go to the bathroom.

[wdwobsessed]

Quote:

"Sorry, fit or not a five year old is too young to be safe in many bathroom situations.So glad DH will be with us at Disney.Many bathrooms there have more than one exit and I do not feel safe with him alone in there.Yes I am over protective, but I love my kid. "

And I love my child. More than life itself. I

found your comment to be a direct attack on me. ONLY I CAN BE THE JUDGE of weather I feel any particular situation is safe for my son. If we are at a Wallmart and he has to pee and runs into the Men's room with me right by the door I do not feel that is putting him in an unsafe situation.

Now, of course, if we are in a very crowded situation like DW or a rest stop ... I would need to proceed with more caution. My DH will be with me in those types of situations anyway 9 times out of 10.

I felt your post implied in someway that I do not care for my "kid" as much as you do yours. Perhaps you did not mean it in that way ... but I took it in that way.

YES, bad things do happen. But FYI in MOST cases of child abuse, murder & molestation ... it is done by a trusted family member, friend, caregiver or someone we know.

I'm not advocating at a place like DW that a five year old should be allowed to go into a crowded bathroom with more than one exit by himself. I was simply relating what I have done on occasions when out at the local shopping plaza or grocery store.

Perhaps you should have relayed what YOU do rather than obviously commenting on the post I made and your dissaproval of it.

wdwo

[pentex]

I found a link about the story about the boy who was killed:

www.apbnews.com/newscenter/breakingnews/1999/01/15/slash0115_01.html


I couldn't find out what the end result was with the trial...does anyone know? I certainly hope this guy didn't get off due to insanity.

[imgoingtodisney]

The only punishment is Death for this guy!!

[pentex]

I'm so with you, imgoingtodisney. I just found something that said he was sentenced to death:

www.courttv.com/trials/wilson/110499_ctv.html


Whether or not he was put to death, I don't know, but at least he didn't get off on insanity. May that poor little child rest in peace.

Now I'll be more on guard than ever with my kids.

[Jordan's MOM]

dear WDWo
Sorry you felt attacked.Did not mean that at all! I am sure you love you children every bit as much as I and that is a lot. Was just saying how much I love my child.I in no way ment that your decission ment you did not love yours. As a teacher and parent I just had a problem with the idea of most 5 year olds being able to handle themselfs in many bathroom situations. Not just safey issues but many mens bathroom are filthy and I cringe at the thought of my child sitting on one of those tolets.I am sure you prepare your son well.Has been a while since I had one that little.Guess I tend to think of them as babies now.Plesae accept my apologies.
Jordan'Mom

[mommyto3]

My son is 6 (will be 7 in Sept.) and he goes to the ladies restroom with me, if no males are in our party. If he don't like it, to bad. He is too young to go by himself. I'm not sure I would make my decision based on his age, but more on his maturity level. And as of now, he is not mature enough to go on his own.

The story of the little boy who was murdered in the restroom while his aunt waited outside the door is HORRIBLE. This will always be in the back of my mind, for as long as I live.

[Kermit]

Crowded restrooms are much safer than restrooms with little traffic. People aren't going to try anything when there are people looking. There are very few Disney restrooms in which you would have to worry about your child being alone with one other adult in the restroom. The main problem would be restrooms that have more than one exit. If a child goes out the wrong door, it can be very confusing.

[wdwobsessed]

Jordansmom -

It's OK. I was probably being a little sensitive anyway. I'm having a really bad week in general and seem to be very grouchy. (lol)

I told my DH about this thread and he just rolled his eyes. I asked him if he felt I was wrong in letting my DS go into the bathroom by himself and he sais "Don't be ridiculous!" As he was saying that .... I was not sure if his attitude was a little too relaxed.

It's hard because you don't want to shelter them to the point where they cannot leave a normal life and are scared of everything..... but you want to keep them safe at the same time.

I guess my attitude is that yes, the world is more scary than it used to be. But, most people are still good.

This thread has given me food for thought.

wdwo

[The Hunt]

These posts seem mostly to come from moms, so here is a dad's perspective. I think fathers are likely to be more casual about this kind of thing, but we are still concerned. I also think it's a lot easier to take boys into the ladies' room than to take girls into the men's room. There is no way I would take my 7-year-old daughter into a public men's room. So I will stand right outside the door and wait for her. I agree it is better to use a rest room that has some traffic. As to the murder, it's a horrible thing, but the risk of this happening is pretty slim--and the real risk it represents is not bathrooms, but the risk of crossing the path of somebody like the killer--still pretty slim. To be honest, I'm more concerned about my kids not being careful enough to avoid sitting down on a filthy toilet seat, so I don't think they should go alone until you can trust them in that respect.

[pentex]

Good point, Hunt. I was awake thinking about this horrible murder last night and came to the conclusion that had the aunt taken the boy into the ladies' room, this guy probably would have followed them in there and killed both of them. After all, he had said he was stalking him that day. And he did stab another lady two days after the murder (almost killing her) so he obviously wouldn't have minded killing the aunt too.

My hubby has the same thing as you when he is out alone with our daughter. He feels he has no other choice but to wait for her outside. I think he'd rather let her pee in her pants than take her into the men's room!

[The Hunt]

My hubby has the same thing as you when he is out alone with our daughter. He feels he has no other choice but to wait for her outside. I think he'd rather let her pee in her pants than take her into the men's room!

If it was that desperate, I'd make her cover her eyes until she got into the stall.

[pentex]

Hunt.....and I assume so would my husband cover eyes and rush in a "desperate" situation. I don't understand why you made a point of quoting me as though I'd said something inappropriate. I was agreeing with you on how difficult it is for dads out with young daughters, but I guess if I make a joke, I'll be "quoted", so let me move on to another topic where I won't be analyzed.

[The Hunt]

Sheesh, chill out! I quoted you so people reading the thread would know what I was responding to. I wasn't analyzing or even disagreeing with you.

The question is whether you would rather have your daughter pee in her pants or see somebody else's p***** out of his pants--I'm not sure which would be more traumatic. That's why I suggested the blindfold option.

[pentex]

Again you insinuate that my husband would actually let my daughter go in her pants, causing a traumatic event, when any reasonable person would know that I was joking about that.

To quote someone in a thread is only done when you are emphasizing what they have said, usually in a case of a rebuttal. This thread is not so long and complicated that it necessitated you quoting me so that people would know what you meant.

This is not the Debate Board.

[The Hunt]

I'm so sorry I quoted you--I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry that you didn't recognize that I was making a joke too in my last post. At least I didn't accuse you of not loving your child [joke].

For what it's worth, I read somewhere that one of the problems with the web is that you can't hear the inflections of speech, and that makes it hard to tell when something is serious and when it isn't. So--and now I am being serious--if you thought I was insinuating something about you or your husband, I wasn't, and I'm sorry if you thought I was.

[Toby'sFriend]

boy has this thread caused some tensions!!!!

for the record -- I was at a gas station along an interstate yesterday and I made my 8yo son come into the ladies room with me. Boy was he angry! I will let my 2 boys (10 and 8) go into a restroom *together* -- as long as they promise to stay together. Like most moms, I am very grateful when my husband is along and we don't have to deal with it....

I must be a very trustworthy looking person however -- because I can't count the number of times I've been met with a Dad and a young daughter outside of the restroom and have been asked to escort her in. I do feel sorry for these Dad's. Women's restrooms are all stalls with doors and there is nothing going on in sight. I can understand why alot of men don't want to take their daughters into a men's restroom however!

[sha_lyn]

I guess DS started going to the mens room alone close to 5 but only in a few places (those with only one toilet and the one door going in locked) then a few months later let him do do in public restrroms that were larger but only one way in/out. He was about 5 or 6 and one day he had to go at target. WEll I stood close to the door then moved a bit away to look at someihing in the isle next to the rest rooms (still had perfect view of door). Well several minutes passes and 2 or 3 men came in and out but DS had still not appeared. Well the last guy out was laughing. AS I got closer to the bathroom I knew why. DS had discovered that his voice echoed and was singing at the top of his lungs. I was relieved and very imbarrased.

[Laurajean1014]

My son 5 (going on 6) goes with DH or I stay outside the Men's room and wait. If we're in a small restaurant I will let him go by himself (as long as its in eye sight) then I clock it!

I always ask him what he did and if he's ok!

(He once commented to me that he likes the way I treat him like a big boy. His friend who is 8 can't go to the bathroom alone and my ds thinks that his Mommy is not treating him nicely.)

He obviously does not know about "tricky people," and I thank God for that!

Have a DVC day.........

[CarolMN]

The best answer to this problem is the "Family restroom". Wish more places had them. I especially like the one at our local shopping mall. It has a common area with a baby changing table and a small bench. There are two interior doors, each leading to a one person restroom. One is labeled for men and one for women. They are accessible to people who travle in wheelchairs. I've used the men's room when the women's is full, the line long, no men in sight and crossing my legs wasn't working (LOL). But I definitely prefer to use the women's as it is almost always cleaner (Why is that :) :) )?

Anyway, I really do wish there were more like this. I have told the mall management that it is one reason I shop there (but not the main reason - it has a Disney Store, after all. LOL)!

When my daughter was young, my husband would not take her into the men's room. He would wait outside and sometimes he asked a Mom going in to "keep an eye on her". He also preferred restrooms with lots of "traffic". Since we were always together at Disney, we didn't have a problem there. Don't have any boys, but if I did, I certainly would not hesitiate to bring them into the Ladies Room with me if there wasn't a better option.

[LMHB]

Does anyone know of the availability of "family" restrooms at WDW? I haven't ever really looked, my older son was not potty trained last time. If there are not many, that would be a good thing to mention at guest serves some time (hmm...may do that if I remember).

This thread HAS caused some problems...I do think everyone is just trying to do what is best for their child, though. I don't know if I will be comfortable letting my kids go in alone at 16!!! LOL But, I guess I feel fortunate, mine are both boys and 2 years apart, so as someone said earlier, as they get older I supposed I will feel safer if they stick together. I agree about the multiple exits being a danger. I think the Unofficial Guide mentions these. Sure, there may be a "slim" chance of danger that is "statistically" safer than other things, but the slimness of a chance or a low statistic doesn't mean a hill of beans if it is YOUR child who is in harm's way.

[dandelion]

A few more thoughts, especially since my dh and dd (4) just returned from a trip together. They had a very long plane journey, involving transfers at 2 airports. I'll have to ask him what he did, he was considering just making sure she went on the plane.

I'd be glad to help a little girl in the restroom if her daddy asked me to. I imagine I'm fairly safe looking, as I usually have the 4Yo and 2YO with me. How far could I get with 3 kids in tow? I might suggest that to dh, to look for a similarly "safe" mom.

So, then what will I do when ds is potty trained and of an age to possibly go in alone? Again, I might look for a "safe" looking dad, but dads usually aren't the ones with the strollers and diaper bags. :rolleyes:

I also love the companion restrooms, I've seen a few at Disney, but certainly not ALL of them. I know it would be a huge project to renovate all the public bathrooms.

When my nephews were very young, my BIL taught them it was ok to go into the ladies room with Mom, as long as they kept their eyes covered. Kind of funny but I suppose it worked.

[kissafrog]

My ds is only 2 1/2, but this has been a concern of mine for a while. I figure that while he is still acceptable of it, he will use the ladies room with me. Once it becomes an issue to him, I will try to shop in the malls that have family restrooms (our local one doesn't). At WDW dh will be with us, so it hopefully will not be an issue there.
On a side note, once I became a parent, I couldn't believe how hard it was to use the restroom when you're alone with the child. Most stalls are not that large, so it's hard to get a stroller in with you. It's either leave the stroller and packages unattended, or try to cram into a stall with it - ugh! Adding that most public restrooms aren't overly clean, and toddlers love to touch everything, it's a pain. I wish more shopping centers had larger restroom areas. I'm expecting another baby, and it's already crossed my mind about what fun a trip to a mall bathroom will be when I have two!

[dandelion]

Kissafrog, when I have the stroller with me I always try to use a handicapped stall and I just wheel the stroller (and child) in with me. I've done it so much my dd (my older child) now prefers the handicapped stalls - "let's use the big one Mommy." But you're right, a trip to the mall with two kids is a real laugh riot. :p

[sha_lyn]

I remeber seeing a story on China a few yrs ago and it was great how they had these safty seats in the bathroom stalls. The reason was since they travel by bike so much they don't oftner have bay carriers or strollers with them. I have seem them in 2 bathrooms in the us. One at a Mall in Miss. the other just a few days ago but I forget where.

[mom42860]

I took my son to WDw when he was 7, I was a single Mom at the time. I had never let him go into the bathroom alone (he is very small for his age and I'm always thinking worst case scenarios) Being Disney and thinking they have loads of security I let him go in. I stood by the door and waited and waited, being frantic I asked a Dad (who was had come up with children and wife) to check and see if my son was ok. He came out and said "he's fine he'll be right out". My son came out redfaced :o and was so mad at me for "embarrassing" him! I was so relieved I didn't care if he was mad forever:p
He's now 9 and sometimes I still make him come in the ladies room with me, I have seen plenty of other boys w/ thier Moms so he is not alone.

[Jordan's MOM]

I came across a situation this week I had not seen discussed here and thought I would share my word of caution.We were at a large airport and I went in to use the bathroom.That place was huge!Rows and rows of stalls.I got so confused as to where to go out.I am sure it would be confusing to a child.By the way I also got confused in the parking deck so take this with a grain of salt.LOL.
Jordan's Mom

[LMHB]

I was just going to say that I think those safety seats are wonderful, they are attached to the wall and you can strap your child right in, that way they can't crawl out under the door OR touch anything. I have only seen them in ONE place! The Macaroni Grill restaurant (in NC)

I was just going to mention, also, as I have two small boys, I don't always take them out of the stroller to use the bathroom, myself...and with a double stroller it won't fit in the stall, even the handicapped! Of course, the handicapped is not always available. Anyway, I have been know to (sorry if this is unpleasant) pee quickly while my children are parked in front of the stall WITH THE DOOR OPEN. I will usually partially close the door to try to retain SOME modesty, but seeing my kids the whole time is more important than my modesty! LOL (Plus, men seem to have no problem with this in their own bathroom)

On another note, I do not ever feel badly about using the handicapped stall when available. I use it as quickly as I can and get out. I honestly figure that with two small boys grabbing at everything and trying to get out and crawl under doors (I have even been know to have to use the bathroom with one on my lap) I am as handicapped as the next person! Plus, I read somewhere that handicapped stalls are statistically cleaner than others...and that the very FIRST stall you walk into is always the dirtiest, just something to think about with little hands grabbing.

[lisapooh]

Ah, now I am seeing why I can never get in the handicapped stall and have to park my power chair and hobble holding onto walls and use the regular stalls. Sorry guys but handicapped stalls are there for the handicapped not the convenince of parents. Most of us in wheelchairs can't wait while you hog the handicapped stall. By the time we get it we are about to wet our britches or already have started too. Sorry this is a real pet peeve of mine. More times than not the handicapped stall isn't available for a handicapped person to use and it is getting worse not better.
Having children is not a handicap!

[wdwobsessed]

LMHB & Dandelion -

Don't feel bad!


I use the handicapped stall as well since I have a two year old and a five year old and we cannot all fit into a smaller stall.

In fact I have never ever seen a person who is handicapped waiting for the bathroom when I have been anywhere, ever ... so I'm not making them wait or causing them to use a regular stall.

If anyone has a problem with it ... tough! I'm not leaving my kids out in the bathroom by themselves while I pee with my panties around my ankles .... they could be out the door and outside before I ever get my pants up!

I would hope that any one ... regardless of their situation or physical well-being .. would value a child more than having to wait an extra minute.

Sorry if I sound insensitive .. but as a mother you have to do what you have to do.

wdwo


We are talking about a potty stop for goodness sake.

[pentex]

Not meaning to discount your feelings, LisaPooh, I totally agree with wdwobsessed.

I have taken my small kids into a handicapped bathroom many, many times. I can't hold it in forever and I can't leave them standing outside. If we all can't fit in a regular bathroom, and if there is no-one waiting for the handicapped bathroom, we use it. We use it quickly and get out, in case someone could be waiting, never using a moment of excess time.

You know, the definition of handicapped is having a harder time doing things than others. I honestly do think that it is harder for parents with tiny children to use a bathroom with insufficient space. There are huge safety issues here and sometimes we have to accept that not all handicaps are physical. I'm not saying that parents with small kids should get free reign over handicap bathrooms, but I certainly don't think it's wrong for them to use them if no-one is waiting and if they move as quickly as possible.

[lisapooh]

When my girls were growing up before I needed canes and a wheelchair I would never have thought to use the handicapped stall. As I stated before having children is not a handicap. To bad parents no longer have that courtesy. Of course you have never walked in my shoes and had the enbarassment of being an adult and ending up with wet or soiled clothes because the stalls that can handle my wheelchair are being used by able bodied adults.

When my girls were little I stood outsided holding the stall door shut as my daughters used the restroom once they were toilet trained. Each one took their turn and then I took mine with them standing outside the door waiting. I could see their feet and they did not move or they know that was the end of the outing.

Sorry I consider parents who take up the handicapped stalls for themselves and their nonhandicapped children just plain rude.

[pentex]

I respectfully disagree, under the condition that those parents using the handicapped bathroom do so quickly so that as not to make a handicapped person wait, or that such a person would never use the bathroom if there was a waiting line.

Times have unfortunately changed. All too often, one reads a story where a child is taken from right in front of their own house-- or even in the presense of their parents. It's not good enough anymore to watch for feet under doors when a child is very young. Anything could happen, and does.

As long as no-one is waiting and it's protecting the safety of a child, there is no harm.

[lisapooh]

I guess you will never understand until you are in our situation. And the reason you don't see us waiting is we are haulling butt in our wheelchairs to find another bathroom that we can use before we soil ourselves. We don't wait around for you to finish because you may think it is a short time but for us it is an eternity.

[pentex]

Let's face it...we all have to wait on long lines at times, and at some of those times there are real emergencies when lines are long. I don't think having a bathroom emergency is something limited to the handicapped. In speaking to my aunt who is handicapped, she has no problem with others using handicapped accessible stalls before her, as long as if she enters a crowded restroom that others allow her to enter the handicapped stall at the next opening. I think that's a more reasonable approach.

I am certainly not advocating disregarding the rights of the disabled, so please don't think that I am. Courtesy would dictate yielding designated bathroom facilities to those who require them, though when available, their use is not restricted from the general public. Public restrooms are for public use. The larger stalls are meant to accommodate the handicapped--not specifically for. This isn't meant to be harsh...it's just the way it is.

It is wrong if people give you no consideration because they absolutely should. However, I think you should try to think of the issue in a more realistic approach.

[sha_lyn]

I don't think lisa is talking about using the stall when all the other stalls are full. I believe she istalking about using the HC stall instead of a standard stall. I for one was guilty of doing that on many occasions because of my size. It is very hard to bend over to help my DD use the bathroom in a small stall. I usually end up with my kness on the floor and my legs stck out under the door. There are some stalls that just make it impossible to get the both of us in and close the door much less bend over. I have started using the HC stalls only if the stalls are too small for us to get in and close the door.
Lisapooh...I'm just courious to how you feel about most places putting the changing table in the HC stall ? Since that usually take longer than just using the toilet I guess it is even more of a problem than someone just using the stall to "go"

[Jordan's MOM]

I think it is about respecting everyone.When my DS was a toddler and I also often kept my sisters two boys, using the HC stall was the ONLY way we could saftely use the bathroom.And as Sha-lyn said that is often where the changing table is.I went to the Disability boards and read some horror stories about non handicaped persons and their total disreguard for another person.It is about being kind and conciderate and allowing the person with the greatest need at the time to use the facilitythat best serves their needs.I have often let a "holding child or an eldely person go ahead of me.I even asked this of someone myself once when I was expecting my son!It was granted.Most people want do the right thing.

Jordan's Mom

[pentex]

Well put, Jordan's Mom, most people do want to do the right thing. Just last week, my five year old waited until the very last minute to ask "to go" during an intermission of a Broadway play. And anyone who's been to one of those knows how dreadfully crowded the bathrooms are during intermission. I didn't even have to ask to go ahead in line because it was so obvious that my child was ready for an accident that the other ladies just urged me to go ahead, and did so with smiles to us both. I would always do (and have done) the same for any person in need.

[wdwobsessed]

If I could trust my kids to stand outside the door and wait ... I would ... but my two year old would run out the door without a moments thought .... and there I am pants around my ankles.

I am a big woman ... and in some regular stalls I just can't fit him and me in there.

Plus - as someone pointed out ... the baby changer things are always in the HC stalls.

wdwo

[lisapooh]

Since when are the baby changing things in the handicapped stall. Never in my experience and certainly not at Disney World. Btw if you are so large you can't fit in a standard stall then you are handicapped. That is the only place you fit.

[McGrane]

I see baby changing tables in handicapped stalls all the time. For the record I take my two small children in the handicapped stall if it's available. In the very few instances that a handicapped person was waiting when we came out, they always greeted us friendly and never were upset. This is getting a little out of hand here. Now Lisa says that someone who is too large to fit in a regular stall is handicapped in her judgment, but a parent with a child's safety in mind is not so in her judgment. Sounds like she has a little problem, thinking she can be the one to deem what is and what is not a handicap. Everyone should just be fair and have consideration of each other's situations.

[LMHB]

Whew! I am sorry, I am the one who posted about the handicapped stalls in the first place. I apologize if you were offended, Lisapooh. I do always use the stall as quickly as possible, then get out of it. The rest of us have to wait for stalls many times, I guess I don't uderstand how being disabled is a more urgent need. It is important for any person not to wait until the last minute. That was a good point about the changing tables. I often change my baby while he is standing, so I try to stay away from them, but if he has pooped I have no choice. I have never, ever, seen any disabled person "waiting" for a stall, and if one walked in at the same time as me I would invite her to use it first. But, I stick by the notion that using a bathroom stall with two little monkeys in tow is just as "disabling" as a traditionally disabled person, or being a larger person for that matter. Even if I'm skinny I'm "large" with my two toddlers with me! :)

[kissafrog]

When I originally posted the comment about how hard it was to use the restroom when you are alone with an infant/toddler (or 2) and a stroller, I had no idea I was starting such a controversy! I just meant that it is just as frustrating to me as it seems to be for parents of older children to decide if they can 'go' by themselves.
I have always felt that a handicap stall was for those who needed the extra space, handrails, or elevated toilet - which is not always someone who is handicaped. For example, I had an elderly relative who had a handrail in her home bathroom, and she used the stall with the handrail when in public restrooms. She was not handicaped, but needed this convenience to get up and down easier.
When you're alone with young children, sometimes you don't have a choice - you do need the extra space. I would never be discourteous to someone else who needed the handicap stall, and always ask if anyone in line needs it before I go in. The best solution to this is to harass the mall until they enlarge all the stalls so no one is inconvenienced.

[lisapooh]

I will say it again Having a child is NOT a handicap. If you c\onsider it such you shouldn't have children. Children are a blessing. A handicap is some that physically keeps you from doing what the rest of the world does day in and day out like walking into a bathroom and using any normal stall which there are many of. When you are handicapped there is normally only 1 stall you can use and if you are lucky you might even be able to close the door and use it in privacy (often you can't get the door shut and latched with a wheelchair in the stall).
And since people are now using this thread to insult me and others who are handicapped and don't feel that the 1 stall set aside for use by the handicapped should not be used by parents and their broods I will leave this thread and request that the moderator close it as it has now gotten personal.

[BethR]

I am going to close this thread not because I have seen any personal attacks, but because it has become painfully off topic. The original question was asking for opinions on the appropriate age to let a child go into the bathroom by himself. As you can see, that question is no longer being discussed.
If you would care to continue the discussion about handicapped bathrooms, it looks as if the Debate Board would be the most appropriate forum.
If you have any questions or comments on this action, feel free to e-mail me.

Thank you...