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Disney1fan2002
11-04-2004, 10:22 AM
I just got off the phone with MIL. She is one of the family members who is in awe at how often we go on vacation, and always has something to say about it. I will take was she says, and lighten the mood. Like the time my 2yo DS was trying to tell her about staying in a hotel in NYC, he could not speak well then, so I translated for him. She was floored. She has never been to NY and could not believe she was getting a trip report from her 2yo grandson! So I just said "My kids will be well travelled, and when they grow up, I won't have to worry too much about them if they decide to take a trip at 18 because they will know how to travel" or I will say "yeah, isn't great? You just jealous" and laugh or something.

So today, I was telling her about how much my kids live the DCL, and want to go back. She point blank said "they're spoiled, that's why they want to go back. They go to Disney at the drop of a hat, so they think they can go anytime"

It did not sit well with me for some reason. At that point, I decided NOT to tell her we have the Member cruise booked. My kids ARE NOT spoiled. Yes, we go to Disney alot, but they understand what it takes for us to go. They know we are not rich, and they know how lucky they are. It is not my kids fault they were born to parents that are Disney fanatics, who never went to Disney as a kid, so we are making up for lost time!

Are we spoiling our kids? (OK< I am second guessing myself now)

goldilocks_63
11-04-2004, 10:46 AM
My Grandmother, used to say,

"Children are for spoiling".

I guess I would say yes, you are spoiling them, but what's wrong with bringing a little light and happiness into their lives.

I think it's hard for people who grew up in the depression to be extravagent every once in a while..... I've seen this before.

At any rate, it's your life, you're children, and do what you think is best for your family, and don't worry about approval. (Because you probably won't get it).

Maybe you could bring her on a trip sometime in the future. That might turn her opinion around ;)

Goldi

debloco
11-04-2004, 11:09 AM
Ah...MIL's. What can I say? Can't live with them, can't...well...let's not finish that sentence! Anyway, it's really none of her business when, how often and where you and your DH vacation. I think that your comment that she is jealous is right on the mark. I think your kids want to go back to Disney because it is such a wonderful place and they have a great time with Mom and Dad each time they go. That's the reason, NOT because they are spoiled. She probably won't let up and stuff like this is difficult to ignore, but you can always come vent on the dis!

CLC Tiger Pom Mom :cheer2:

sheryl0521
11-04-2004, 11:15 AM
<i>originally posted by goldilocks_63:</i>
At any rate, it's your life, you're children, and do what you think is best for your family, and don't worry about approval. (Because you probably won't get it).
I so agree! We no longer tell all family members about our trips as we just hear the same thing <i>"going to disney AGAIN?"</i>

Our older son appreciates how lucky he is to be going twice (sometimes 3 times) per year and we remind him of the fact every trip.

calypso*a*go-go
11-04-2004, 11:17 AM
Are we spoiling our kids? Yes, but isn't that our business? I find that most of the negative comments come from people that are just plain jealous. Plus, it's not like they are being sent on vacation while the parents stay home...so were spoiling ourselves too and I don't know about you, but I think I'm worth it!!!

tigger24
11-04-2004, 11:28 AM
Of course we are spoiling them. We just purchased this summer and our daughter was only 6months old! I bought it for us to spend fun family time together. If that means I am spoiling her, so be it.
There is a difference between being spoiled and spoiled rotten.

Just my 2 cents, enjoy your family.

WDWJWEB1
11-04-2004, 11:28 AM
Are we spoiling our kids?

You know what upsets me? It's all these people who think nothing of taking there families to Virginia Beach or Six Flags or up to the Inlaws year in and year out and that's O. K. but as soon as you mention Disney they say things like "your wasting your money" I can't believe your going again" and the best one "are'nt you tired of going there? didn't you just get back?" Well I for one could care less what they say or think, I'm just glad that my DW and I have the opportunity and the means (DVC) to give our children what we consider as "total family vacations" There is something for each of us at WDW! We were in Disney Last Dec 03, in May 04 also Aug 04 and we are going again in Nov-Dec 04 and we are already booked for April 05.
So I look at it this way, I would rather travel with my family now while my wife and I are Fairly heathy and "semi" young and we can all enjoy it. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know what works for my family today. So am I spoiling my kids? I sure hope so!::yes::

crisi
11-04-2004, 11:34 AM
Here is my concern....

My first husband and my sister's first husband had a similar problem.

Having parents who took them on frequent vacations, they expected to step into that lifestyle upon leaving the nest. They really didn't understand the value of time or money. Both got themselves (and us!) into some financial mess before the marriage ended - for my sister and I we got out in time. But both of them sank deeper into the mess. My BIL is currently divorcing his wife under the same financial strain. She was also "spoiled" as a child with little concept of how fast money spends.

My ex's family sounds like yours - although they were never wealthy, they really prioritized vacations (and Disney vacations - my ex grew up with annual Disney vacations - nearly unheard of back then). My soon to be ex-SILs family was similar - middle class - but spenders. My ex BILs family was plain old wealthy - though not wealthy enough to support children who left the house (not Paris Hilton wealthy, just plain old Fortune 500 Vice President wealthy).

I'm really trying to drive home to my children how fortunate they are right now - and that the time will come where they won't go to Disney all the time, or go on cruises or where ever. Their parents worked hard and put off a family - and now can afford to spoil their family - but we spent years not going to Disney before they were born.

But I have my doubts this will work. This is something I do worry about. Will they learn moderation unless we moderate ourselves? Will they learn how fortunate they are unless we expose them to those less fortunate? (we try to do both). Am I going to turn my kids into those people in life I think about when I think of this?

tjkraz
11-04-2004, 11:56 AM
Originally posted by sheryl0521
...we just hear the same thing <i>"going to disney AGAIN?"</i>


Actually, I LOVE hearing that line. I just smile and say "yup!" and leave it at that. I don't feel the need to apologize for my personal vacation habits, nor do I feel it's something worthy of hiding. Anyone who doesn't get it....doesn't get it! That's their problem to deal with.

Simba's Girl
11-04-2004, 12:59 PM
I don't think that we (or you ;)) are spoiling our kids at all! I think it depends upon how you look at things...here's how my DH and I look at them...

Because we own DVC we spend less $$$ on the frivolous junk that kids want (you know the silly things that they market to kids during kids programming on TV) then 2 days later stop playing with it. In exchange for that we get to spend more family time enjoying ourselves and watching the sheer joy in our DDs faces being on vacation. We also feel like we're teaching the kids alot about the country and world in general that they wouldn't know about if we didn't travel so much-that my friend is *priceless*.

Heather (originally from the South Shore BTW)

kenziesmamaw
11-04-2004, 01:05 PM
I agree with the poster who said there is a difference between spoiled and spoiled rotten. Spending time together as a family making memories that will last a lifetime is something you will never regret, whether it is at Disney or just riding down the road singing silly songs.

Our kids are grown and my husband and I just did our first "adults only" trip to Disney in 25 years.....and both of them were jealous that they didn't get to go! And they've only been about 3 or 4 times in their lives.

I only think you have to worry when your kids start expecting you to hand them everything on a silver platter and don't understand that hard work and sacrifice are the things that make these kinds of trips available to them. As they get older let them see what it costs to go and put them on a budget for spending money....teach them that if they want more, they have to work more for it.

cgcw
11-04-2004, 01:16 PM
Originally posted by sheryl0521
we remind him of the fact every trip.

We do too. A lot. My kids don't take going to WDW for granted, but every time we go, I remind them of their friends who have never been and probably won't until they are adults. Although I don't think they are spoiled, it doesn't hurt to let them know they fortunate to be going.

My kids gripe when they don't have their own bedroom on vacation. Given a conversation of this sort with my MIL, I'm sure WW3 would happen. I'd prefer not to go there with that discussion. ;)

I hope to always be able to spoil my kids with wonderful family vacations and precious memories.

Lesley
11-04-2004, 01:18 PM
Hmmm....I think "spoiling" (I hate that term as things spoil when you don't give them attention and love...not when you do!) would be if you teach your kids the attitude that they are entitled to go to WDW frequently and if something comes up to prevent you from going that is unfair, or unjust, or whatever. As long as your kids understand that your vacations are a want, not a need, and can see what you trade in order to be able to take these vacations (your time, which you need to spend working ....what you could do with the money that you're making less of a priority, or giving up, etc....). In my experience "spoiled" children are the ones whose parents don't want to be bothered with them and give them all sorts of things in order to keep the kids off their backs. And then its just sad that they get labeled "spoiled" rather than "unparented".

You could certainly spend your money on things you might like that don't benefit the kids as directly....like cars, or jewelry, or art....and no one would accuse you of spoiling them in that case.

I honestly believe the whole "spoiling" concept is a coping mechanism for those who either did not get the kind of love and attention they needed as a child and/or didn't give their own kids those things and feel guilty.

My kids, who are accustomed to DVC and have said things that sound 'spoiled' like, "Where's the kitchen?" or "Where's the big tub?" when entering a regular hotel room....would be incredibly happy taking primitive camping trips. I however, don't think I would like that as much. I've told them of how I saved up babysitting money while I was in college so their dad and I could take a trip to WDW when I graduated. We budget our trips carefully and our kids know that there are things we don't do so that we can go to WDW. They hear us discuss our options...and ways to try to make the most of the resources we have to do the things we want to do.

I guess some DVC members may be "spoiling" their kids....but I don't think that's generally the case. I do think its wise to help kids understand money and how it works. We didn't take a lot of big vacations when I was a kid....but I was never taught about money, earning, saving, investing because money is such a taboo subject in my family. That more than anything is why my dh and I have made some poor choices in the past. But DVC is one of our best choices ever.

Happy Birthday Cat
11-04-2004, 01:35 PM
It's not spoiling my kids for our family to be together for a week or so every few months. Should we do so in a less expensive place so we can feel humble? I don't think so. I work hard at my job and am away from my four kids and DW on many occasions because of work. I take pride in the fact that I can afford many things for my family that my parents couldn't even consider. Hopefully my kids will see that hard work pays off but better yet that a family that is together pays off even more. I don't define that as being spoiled!

HBC

spiceycat
11-04-2004, 02:45 PM
Marie - I don't think your kids are spoiled.

you sound like a good parent and ones that tries.

Do you eat every meal at WDW in a fancy restuarant?

probably no

do you show them that not everyone in their neighborhood or school can afford to go to WDW every year?

it is when the kids start to think that 2-bedroom condo on vacation are a right - not something that you worked long and hard to obtain - that you might start to have problems.

OneMoreTry
11-04-2004, 02:50 PM
I didn't think we were spoiling our kids until they turned into teenagers, then I realized we were -- big time.

Odds are you're spoiling them, but I don't think that means you should sell your DVC points. Make sure they learn to work for what they have. Don't give them everything they ask for. Be grateful for what you have. Teach them respect.

And don't fret. Don't feel guilty for taking vacations. And enjoy life as much as it will let you.

:earsboy:

Johnnie Fedora
11-04-2004, 03:14 PM
Originally posted by Disney1fan2002
Are we spoiling our kids?
Yes and no. Our kids know we give up doing other entertainment options at home (eating-out, movies, etc.) to go on vacations more frequently. However, we do not over-indulge them while they are at DVC. They are very familiar with the word "NO" and phrase "put-it-back".

Which child is more spoiled:
1) the child who's entertainment money goes toward participation in every activity he/she wants (sports/clubs/activities)

2) the child who's entertainment money gets lots of material things (toys/clothes/games)

3) the child who's entertainment money goes toward spending vacations together as a family

It's a matter of your family's priorities.

mom23boys
11-04-2004, 04:34 PM
I do not think I am spoiling my children. We go to Disney everyother year. The oppisite years we usually go to the Jersey Shore. I feel my kids and me need family time and need to be away from everyday life. My oldest DS (10) has been to WDW five times only once with DCV.

My DH travels for his job, not alot but enough. We are raising 3 boys, with soccer, swimming, and everything else life deals us, we want a vacation we can enjoy with our family. WDW is the best solution for us. Our kids are young they love it and I do not care what anyone thinks.

I hope that you are not second guessing yourself, you need to do what is best for you and your family. And spending quality time with your children and spouse is something you will never forget.

rnnomore
11-04-2004, 06:09 PM
I have read every post in this thread, and if I quoted everything that I agreed with, this post would be very long! My view is this: life is too short not to do things with the family! I learned this the hard way when my parents suddenly passed away 4 years ago while vacationing abroad. Our last trip with them was the April before they died,(we went to WDW) and I thank God everyday that we made that trip with them.

I am a Disney fanatic, and so are our kids. Am I spoiling them? No, in my opinion I am not. They understand that they are lucky to have parents who belong to DVC and are able to go once a year, and usually more, while some of their friends have never gone. They do not get every item that they want or see, so they also know the word no.

Is spoiling when you shop constantly for your child even though he/she does not need anything? Or how about when the grandparents overindulge for birthdays or holidays? Does that count as spoiling?

Only you know what is good for your family, just as I know what is best for mine. Life is too short-live and do what you want to make the most out of every day!

Just my opinion.

jimmytammy
11-05-2004, 07:33 AM
Our kids may be a little spoiled to Disney but so are Mom and Dad. But, they understand to a degree that the money to go comes at a price. I take them with me on weekends to do those dirty messy jobs that helps to pay for DVC and all those trips. And I even make them help if the occasion arises. And I pay them to help and this helps them understand the concept of money when they prepare to buy something at WDW.

Neither Tammy or I were lucky enough to go to WDW as kids and I was 35 before the first trip. We have talked to the kids about this and helped them understand when they are away from home these trips wont happen anymore financially for them. But owning DVC will allow us to still travel as a family if they so desire then.

They dont get spoiled to many things at home because we dont allow it. But they are only kids once so the memories from these trips will be with all of us. If that is spoiling then I dont feel bad about it. We know God has blessed us and we try to remember that and thank Him everyday.

Granny
11-05-2004, 08:58 AM
Originally posted by Disney1fan2002
Are we spoiling our kids?
No, DW and I are spoiling ourselves. The kids being spoiled is just collateral damage. :)

sheryl0521
11-05-2004, 09:05 AM
The kids being spoiled is just collateral damage.
YES - going to WDW has been a favorite passtime for DH and I since we started dating 15 years ago. Taking the kids along just goes with the progression of our lives.

I never went to WDW as a kid growing up. My parents aren't FL fans. So I feel I am making up for lost time. ;)

DiznEeyore
11-05-2004, 09:40 AM
Originally posted by jimmytammy
They dont get spoiled to many things at home because we dont allow it. But they are only kids once so the memories from these trips will be with all of us. If that is spoiling then I dont feel bad about it. We know God has blessed us and we try to remember that and thank Him everyday.
ITA!!! :teeth:

k-wa
11-05-2004, 09:48 AM
My husband and I don't have kids yet, but are planning on it soon. In the past year, his mother built a beautiful vacation house on the Chesapeake Bay with a boat and my parents bought DVC. These are both Baby Boomers who didn't take us on lots of vacations but have saved money and now are ready to spend it on us and their grandchildren and grandchildren-to-be. My husband and I joke that we are going to have to watch it that our future kids don't become too spoiled, but I think as long as you remind them vacations are a privilege and not a right, then things will be great.

poohj80
11-05-2004, 10:40 AM
I also think it's a great learning experience for your children to get out and see the country (and the world). People usually learn more through experience than by reading in a book plus traveling helps teach children that the world isn't such a big place (remember when driving 100 miles seemed like the other side of the world?) and they shouldn't be afraid to explore.

I never thought about this until I went to a smaller college in Colorado where at least 80% of the students were from in state. I was shocked to learn that SO many folks had never left the state of CO in their entire lives. They said they loved it there so why leave? My response was always that they could live there if they love it but that was no reason not to go out and experience new places and see new things.

I think your children will turn out to be adventurers now that you have started them traveling early and this is a good thing!

PJ

joepoe
11-05-2004, 10:19 PM
How often did Dear MIL take your husband when he was young?

My parents could not afford to take a family vacation when I was a kid and I always wanted to go to Disneyland. Never could. I went for the first time with DW about 6 months before we were married, and we have been going to DL and esp WDW (when we bought DVC) ever since. I was 42. Now I am almost 54 and I still love to go and feel like a kid every time. We enjoy taking our three daughters who have been almost as many times as I have. I don't think of it as spoiling. I think of it as sharing a lot of time TOGETHER as a family doing something we all love to do.

Go and have fun and never mind what ANYONE thinks. It's your life and YOUR kids.

Judique
11-06-2004, 04:31 PM
Are we spoiling our kids? (OK< I am second guessing myself now) [/B][/QUOTE]

No, I don't think so. I'm trying my best to spoil me! I didn't have Disney growing up. My older kids went with me when they were younger. Now they have jobs and school, and they are juggling life, same as all of us. My older daughter enjoys Disney and took a trip in the spring to OKW with 2 friends, but she also travels other places. She will go to Spain for 10 days next week. My son hasn't been to Disney in a while, but he is planning a trip to Japan. They both earn their own way, and may have inherited a travel bug from me, but I don't think they've been spoiled. The younger one will probably follow a similar path. Disney will be available to them through me for future trips, if that is what they choose.
:earsgirl:

Par8hed
11-06-2004, 05:31 PM
Yes! Spoil the kids if you can! We will all be dead soon enough (sorry for the reality check). And what will we leave behind? Ultimately....it will be memories. And I want my Son to say " ...remember Dad.....sure he was an @#$%$$@ and everytyhing, but I'll be darned if he didn't devote himself to making my childhood as wonderful as he possibly could!"... I hope that my Son will miss me as much as much as I miss my own father. Spoil 'em, spoil 'em, spoil 'em.

poohkie
11-06-2004, 05:47 PM
I'm 16. I took my first trip at 7 and didn't go back until I was 12. It was on the next trip when I was 15 that my parents bought into DVC. I've been to disney 4 times this year. One of those times was a one day trip. Having said all that. Am I spoiled? Most likely in some ways. Is that wrong? No. What parent hasn't spoiled there child at some point or in some way. That first trip I took my parent's didn't think we would ever be able to go back after that. We cramed everything we could into that trip. Now I get to go a couple times a year. Do I think it's my right to go to Disney every year? Not a chance. I realize what it takes for my parents to pay for DVC to plan the trips and to make sure everyone has a good time. And they'll never know how much those trips mean to me what I take from those trips and how greatful I am to them for giving me that. I love those trips. Everyone has fun everyone is happy. It's ok for my dad to act like an idoit. It's ok for my mom and I and even my dad to be as loud as we want. It's ok to just let go of it all and have fun with my family. I will keep going back to Disney as offen as I can DVC or no DVC. So am I spoiled? Like I said most likely. But if that's spoiled I would hate to be anything else. If your MIL has a problem with all that. That's just it. It's her problem.

Par8hed
11-06-2004, 06:06 PM
So nice to hear from a level-headed 16 year old. No doubt you make your parents proud! Don't change. Thanks.

Bracho
11-06-2004, 09:03 PM
Man I hope so!!!!

TandyR
11-07-2004, 10:21 AM
We have two little girls (DD 8 and DD 4)...we have taken them to WDW 3 times so far. The first trip we thought one be one of two trips...we had planned to go once when each girl reached "the perfect age" (don't asked me what that age is now...I have no clue...we thought it was 4 nearly 5 years old then...crazy us.). Any how my husband and I fell in love with WDW and the stuff there is for adults to do. So our girls come with us. We plan to go to WDW every other year. The last two trips the DD 8 helped us with our budget and she gave up something to help increase our budget and she helpped plan things so we stay within our budget. DD 4 will start taking part in this port of planning on our next trip. I think it is an important part of planning because they get to see where money comes from and where it goes and when we buy things that are "extras" like DVDs we talk about is it worth it to buy or rent....the price of the DVD equal X at WDW is it worth it to not have X at WDW in order to have the DVD at home....sometimes the answer is yes other times the answer is no.
So I guess my answer is spoilling only comes from lack of attention, lack of education and lack of love.
Oh BTW...in my family it is my mother who is the pain about our Disney trips....it is my MIL who drops everything to come down with us. ;) We have a pretty good time with my MIL and her husband on our Disney trips...I think she loves Disney more then anyone I know. :D My mother on the other hand thinks it is stupid, boring, pedestrian and a waste of money. She is in AZ this week traveling around visiting gardens there...talk about a trip that I would think was boring a a waste of money...but everyone has their own tastes. :D

TDC Nala
11-07-2004, 10:26 PM
I bet she's jealous.

Deesknee
11-08-2004, 11:58 PM
When I get a little nervous we're spoiling our kids I like to remember what my sweetheart of a brother once reminded me.

He told me how much he loves ALL his neices and nephews, then he added that my kids are spoiled (I was complaining re: them being spoiled) but that they are NOT spoiled rotten there is a very big difference. Aren't brothers great?

Relatively speaking, some would say by having indoor plumbing WE are spoiled. lol


::MickeyMo ::MinnieMo :earsboy: :earsboy: :earsgirl: :earsgirl:

JFrey4240
11-09-2004, 08:10 AM
Actually when you work hard and save your money then how can anyone say that you are spoiling yourself? It's all in the perspective. As long as we have the extra money to go and realize how fortunate we are, then why should we explain ourselves to others. Also making sure your children appreciate the trips and understand money doesn't grow on trees is important too. Life is too short not to enjoy what you can when you can. ::yes::

rufusrex
11-09-2004, 10:58 AM
We go once a year, every January, since my daughter was 1. Now she is 6 and my son is 3 (today1) and we are going again this January. People don't understand the beauty of DVC, it allows us to go every year at an affordable price. We buy APs and get 2 years out of them, don't eat in fancy restauraunts (kids won't sit still anyway), and almost always get a great deal on airfare. It really is no more expensive than other vacations. We have friends that brag "I'll take my kids once and that is plenty." They spend more on 1 trip than we spend on 3 or 4. So if DVC is spoiling your kids, then great. If it wasn't for DVC, there is no way I could/would spring for the BW or WLVs.

No one will take my yearly trips away and no one will make me feel guilty about them!!! I get the same eyes rolling or comments like "disney again" from family and friends, honestly, it really doesn't bother me. To each their own.

sgtpet
11-09-2004, 11:28 AM
There is no doubt we are spoiling our children when it comes to DVC. They are almost guaranteed going to WDW annually and at amazing accommodations within WDW.

Heck I think my wife and I are spoiled as well.

crazywig
11-10-2004, 02:57 PM
if you're spoiling your kids then i am headed down that path as well :teeth:

my kids are too young (ds2 and dd 8wks) to realize they're spoiled but like others have said, we will make sure they understand this is a priviledge for them and not a right.


we're spoiling extended familiy as well, we're taking my sister and her 3 kids in sept 05!

pat-rick
11-10-2004, 04:05 PM
We are Grandparents of 6, 5 boys and our 6th is a little girl. When my 2 DD's were growing we did not have the means to take trips to Florida but we did seasonal camp at the Jersey Shore where we now live. They, my daughters are always talking about those days and the fun they had camping, the beach etc. These are memories they have kept for many years because they were good memories. We, Family, spend the weekends and vacations together creating those memories.
The Girls and their families are now creating their own memories the way we did years ago. DW and I have also added to the family memories with the addition of DVC. We normally take a FAMILY trip 1 time a year all together.
Will the kids remember these family trips years from now, I hope so.
Will these trips help keep the family close, I hope so.
Is is worth the struggle for DW and I to keep DVC, Yes.
Are we spoiling the GrandKids, I believe we are creating memories for the future so when they are grown they will want to create happy memories for their families to share.

Are you spoiling your kids, I believe you are creating MEMORIES.

You don't need DVC to spoil, to spoil kids you just need to do nothing. No togetherness, no support, no memories then see what happens.

Take as many family vacations as you can.

Sammie
11-10-2004, 07:31 PM
"Are we spoiling our kids" ?

Depends on whether they appreciate it or expect it or even worse "demand" it"

Only you can teach them the difference.

3DisneyNUTS
11-11-2004, 08:08 AM
You know don't ovethink it. Life is short. I feel we are teaching our son that things are done according to a "plan". We planned to buy house, we planned to get married, we planned to have him, we also made it so we could afford something like DVC and enjoy our lives and vacations.

You could set these things up as goals in life. To have things and be financially able to vacation more than once a year (or even at all) is not spoiling kids but showing them that if they work towards something, they can have it too.

KLR-wlv
11-11-2004, 10:54 AM
I think kids get spoiled when material things are given instead of time or love. I think parents that have the means for family vacations - no matter how extravagant or not - and do not take them because they're too frugal or don't want to take time off work or "make" the time - are doing more damage than indulging kids in taking great family vacations. I went on fabulous vacations as a child - my DH did not even though they had money to - so DH gripes about all the great trips we go on - but he enjoys every one. He feels "guilty". I don't. We only have one childhood to spend with our kids and I certainly don't expect to regret that we went to DW too much when they're no longer kids! We make vacations a priority the way other people may make season tickets to professtional sports do - or people who have to have a new car every 4 years - it is all a choice in where you spend your money. Is prioritizing spending time with your family on vacation more "spoiling" to your kids then buying expensive toys for yourself? All the pictures in our photo albums are of vacations, christmas, and birthdays - all the stuff in between doesn't quite get remembered in the same way. So we have a lot of pictures of Mickey and Belle in our photo album...

joepoe
11-11-2004, 11:34 AM
Originally posted by Par8hed
Yes! Spoil the kids if you can! We will all be dead soon enough (sorry for the reality check). And what will we leave behind? Ultimately....it will be memories. And I want my Son to say " ...remember Dad.....sure he was an @#$%$$@ and everytyhing, but I'll be darned if he didn't devote himself to making my childhood as wonderful as he possibly could!"... I hope that my Son will miss me as much as much as I miss my own father. Spoil 'em, spoil 'em, spoil 'em.

Somebody told me once that when you are old and gray, no one will remember but YOU:

1) that you didn't take your vacation time

2) that you didn't take your vacations where you wanted to take them.

3) that you didn't take enough of them...

kenziesmamaw
11-11-2004, 01:52 PM
There is so much insight here and I have to agree....life is too short to worry about vacations spoiling your kids. This week alone I have heard from more than one family that lost a loved one to a sudden accident....at least 3 were children. A dear friend and her husband have saved for years to be able to travel when they retired.....less than a month after her retirement she was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor and the doctors are now trying to keep her alive through Christmas.

Don't mean to be depressing and I certainly am not rationalizing spending money inappropriately or trying to buy anyone's love, but life is short and none of us are promised tomorrow. If we don't take the time now to spend with the ones we love making memories that will last forever, there may be a day that we will regret that we didn't.

Rather than worrying about spoiling our kids, grandkids or ourselves....we are going to make the necessary sacrifices to pay for our DVC purchase and squeeze every minute of enjoyment we can out of it. No matter what the future holds, we won't look back and say "if only we had......."

Laurajean1014
11-11-2004, 02:41 PM
Yes, but that is our right as parents..... ;)

Besides, my son is an over-achiever, gets great grades, plays on a very competitive sports program, plays an instrument and has a good attitude!

Why wouldn't I give him a little WDW a few times a year?????
:tongue: :sunny: :tongue: :sunny: :tongue: :sunny:

walter
11-12-2004, 07:48 AM
Not just our son, but family members who have visited us while staying at OKW/HHI resorts. The latest was in October when family from Va. visited us and besides the accommodations, the trip over to the SSR pool (& see that resort) was overwhelming to them.

TomD
11-12-2004, 08:44 AM
1st let me say I do not own DVC but we have been looking into it very hard. We are not rich and we save hard to do the things we do

Now I have have 2 DD's ages 5 and 9. This will be our 3rd trip to Disney in 3 yrs. We also went to St. Thomas for Thanksgiving 2 yrs ago, and Nevada with them.

We also will be bringing them to WV and PA in April of 05.

I do not consider this spoiling them. Yes they get to travel and do some things not all kids their ages get to do.

The kids know we save our $ to do these things with them and they know they have to save theirs. We make them put half of all the $ they get from birthdays Xmas Easter or any other time nana and poppa send up $ for them and the other half they can do what they want with. They also know if they save it towards a vacation I will match whatever they save :D. Makes it easier on my wallet...lol I feel if they get into the habit of saving $ at an early age they will be better off when they leave the nest.

Now we are going for Xmas and they have no clue but they think Nana is coming up to go shopping the day after Xmas. And I told them I would match their $. Both have saved over $100.

Guess what I am trying to say in this long post is that they are only as spoiled as we as parents let them get. If being spoiled is working hard,saving money to do things that we enjoy doing as a family and enjoying life in general then I would everyone on this board is spoiled :)

mom2rb
11-12-2004, 09:30 AM
When we bought DVC last year we put some things on hold. When the boys ask why we can't get Daddy a bigger car so that they can ride with him (he has a two seater)? I let them know that we are paying for DVC so that we can go to Disney often and bring Grandma with us. Same thing when they ask about getting a house with their own rooms.

As long as my kids know that we are giving up some things to be able to go on vacations then they won't be spoiled.

roadtripper
11-13-2004, 07:50 AM
We don't spend a lot of money on clothes and toys--
We have 12 dollar cable--
We drive cheap cars--
We go easy on Christmas and birthday gifts--
We let the kids buy souvenirs with their saved-up Disney dollars only--
We usually stay in a studio so we can "share the wealth" by bringing family--
We show our kids how to donate to charity, (from a blue state, no less;) )--


Hopefully it will all even out, but if it doesn't, and they turn into ungrateful spoiled rotten kids, we will have no problem leaving them with the relatives that think we're spoiling them, and spoiling ourselves!

twinmomplus2new
11-13-2004, 10:12 AM
I would say my children are spoiled but not rotten. Owning DVc has definately increased the times per year we do travel to Disney. HOWEVER even when money was tight( Newly married, buying a house) I still took my dd almost 18 every year no matter what. I do notice they ask all the time can we go now, can we go now? But if I stop and think about it, My dd would only go once a year and she too asked all the time too. I think it's more a reflection of being little and not having a concept of time VS expecting to be taken.

My DVC was a gift from my brother. He wanted his neices and nephews to make sure they went every year. So in 1998? He gave me DVC for the kids and myself. So I continually remind my children, That you get to go and stay at the Boardwalk because Uncle Daniel bought it for you. That is very understood and I think appreciated.

Most of entire family is Disney obssessed and several of us are DVC owners, We always go together, so it is a family time situation. That is the value in it for me. My kids would be devasted if everyone wasn't there.
That being said My inlaws and Dh hate Disney. they are of the opinion that once you have been once. You need not ever go again. They are furious that I go so frequently. When I first had DVC they made a big presentation of an envelope full of cash( spending money for the week);) Now they have not done that inyears. No matter how many times, I try to explain, that I am not paying Lodging everytime I go, They simply do not get it.It's unfortunate because I think if they went just once they would love it. They have never been, My MIL won't fly, and he won't leave her so thats that. They are ultra negative about it. I just have learned to smile and ignore it.

And by the way ROADTRIPPER $12 cable! I am impressed.

Alexander
11-13-2004, 05:09 PM
Good grief! Kids are for spoiling. Besides, it's nobody's business! People always question how my 5 year old has been to WDW more than ten times. Too bad! Life is too short and I will NOT say "what if..." "I wish we..." etc. DH and I both work very hard and how we choose to spend our money is our choice! We pay our bills on time and are not over-expended. Even if we were, too bad! Keep on spoiling those kids, just keep their feet grounded.

roadtripper
11-16-2004, 01:23 PM
"And by the way ROADTRIPPER $12 cable! I am impressed."


Well, we were lucky that the Red Sox playoffs were on basic cable, or I might be divorced right now;)

I just can't pay 51 dollars a month now that I think in terms of park passes and plane tickets. That's why I email from school instead of using my 9.95 dialup Internet at home!

twinmomplus2new
11-16-2004, 01:55 PM
Down here on Old Cape cod. I am paying 165 per month. for cable plus internet through Comcast! $51 is a bargain!

greenban
11-16-2004, 04:23 PM
Life is short.

Life is unpredictable.

Life can be hard.

Cherish your children and savor your time with them, at DVC or elsewhere. Most regrets start with "I wish I had....."

Goofyzgurl
11-16-2004, 10:14 PM
I don't think I'm spoiling my children at all, if anything I'm spoiling myself. DH and I work hard during the year, and this is what we want to do with the money we save. I don't borrow from anyone to do it and we don't take the food off the table for us to do it. We offered dd1 if she wanted to go for the weekend for her bday and she said she'd rather stay home and have her friends over. She doesn't take it for advantage that we go once or twice a year. She knows that not everyone can go and we can't go all the time. We're just making memories for later. It's no one's business what you do with your money. Another life is too short quote : Life is too short to worry about what other people think.