Here I go again on my own--TOV's WISH journal take 2(posters welcome!)

[TheOtherVillainess]

I know I have to take babysteps to lose the 80 lbs I have to lose. I weighed myself whilst visiting the DGrandparents in MI. I weigh 192 lbs now..as much as I did when I was ready to deliver DS.

So..like the song says.."Here I go again on my own. Goin down the only road I ever known. Like a twister I was born to walk alone. And I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams...".

I've decided my first babystep should be implementing an exercise program, which I'll start on Monday. On Monday,Weds and Fri I will do 10 jumping jacks, 10 crunches and 10 pushups. To help remind me of what I'm supposed to be doing when, I have a chart made up that's on the fridge underneath my Flylady cleaning chart for the house. On Tues and Thurs, I'll do 10 Babylifts (lifting DS above my head) and 10 more pushups.

I just have to remember..babysteps babysteps babysteps. Rome was not built in a day. I will not lose 80 lbs overnight. :)

TOV

[DoeWDW]

Welcome back, TOV! You sound like you're on the right track! Babysteps WILL take you where you want to go!::yes::

Hope today is a happy one! :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:

[TheOtherVillainess]

I've got the weekend to totally pig out and go nuts before starting on Monday. Starting Monday, I'm going to attempt to watch what I eat but not actually diet. Every time I've tried to 'diet' I always fail. So I'm not actually dieting.

My main hurdle will be work,though. I have to remind myself not to eat anything from work and to drink ONLY diet coke from here on out. Which will be a challenge,let me tell ya. :)

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

I've been up since 6 am (it's now 9:30). Already did my exercise for today, fed DS and put him down for his nappy-poo (he'd been up since god knows when..he was up when I got up).

Breakfast was a smallish bowl of Kellog's Frosted Flakes with 2% milk. I'm getting a bit hungry, so I'll probably go have a snack of 15-20 baked tortilla chips with low-fat ranch dressing with a glass of water. :)

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Lunch was lowfat cheese on toast, grilled on the George Forman with just a smattering of ICBINB to make the bread reallly brown. My afternoon snack was lowfat cheese. Not sure what I'm going to make for dinner yet,though.

Did 15 scissorlifts per side. Owie...

TOV

[TigerBear]

It sounds like you are off to a good start!! Portion control and exercise are key for me. I'm curious though - how tall are you? 112 sounds pretty low. I probably shouldn't be saying anything since 112 is now my new goal - but it has been a process. At first I just wanted a normal BMI - then I set a goal to get to my wedding weight. I actually think it helped me to have my goals in steps - it didn't seem so overwhelming.

If you up your protein intake you may find that you are not as hungry. Best of luck to you! You can do this!!! :D

[TheOtherVillainess]

On a very good day, I stand close to 5 ft 5 and 1/2 inches tall, medium frame. :)

I USED to be very,very thin as a child. Got 'fat' as a teenager and my weight yo-yo'd up and down from the time I was in 6th grade till I graduated HS. Got REALLY fat when I married DH because I was out of work and didn't do anything except sit around the apt and watch tv. Lost somewhere between 40-60 lbs with Slimfast over the course of 5 years. I'd get fat, go on SlimFast and lose it all then go OFF slimfast and gain it all back.:yo-yo:

Got REALLY REALLY fat post-baby,so..here I go again. :) Hopefully it'll stay off for good this time.

TOV

[TigerBear]

I'm just concerned that you may be shooting for an unrealistic, and possibly unhealthy, goal. At 5'5" and 112 you would have a body mass index that would be considered "underweight". Take a look at this site - including the Ideal Weight Calculator:

http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm

[TheOtherVillainess]

The Ideal Weight Calculator says my ideal weight is 148, but that still seems SO incredibly fat to me. Ick.

Ok..so for today I have:
Eaten one small bowl of Frosted Flakes with 2% milk
Had one small bag of microwave popcorn
Eaten one sandwich consisting of one extremely thin slice of roasted turkey with 1/2 tsp of lite mayo on wheat bread with 15 tortilla chips
Drank 1 44 oz drink that was half reg coke, half diet coke
Done 15 babylifts

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Breakfast was 4 pieces of wholewheat toast with 1/2 tsp of ICINB and 1/2 tsp of grape jelly each, with a glass of lemon Koolaid to drink.

Lunch will most likely be a turkey sandwich on wheat with 1/2 tsp of lite mayo with 13 tortilla chips and salsa. :)

TOV

[DoeWDW]

:wave2: Hi ToV!!

Looks like you're eating lots & lots of carbs consisting of processed foods like cereal, bread, tortilla chips, etc. You may want to add in some fruit and veggies. If you're getting hungry within an hour of eating, it may be because you're not taking in any protein so you could try to add in a protein source as well.

You're doing great! You've stuck with it thus far and I'm sure you can keep it going! :sunny:

[TheOtherVillainess]

I can't help it. I am a carb addict.

Today's food intake so far:
6 slices wheat toast with 1/8th tsp of garlic butter each
3 chicken strips
1 small fry
1/4 cup of Philly Cheesesteak Hamburger Helper
44 oz of half coke/half diet coke

I really have to learn to cut out the soda. I nurse a drink all night and it's rotting my teeth out, according to my dentist. :(

Spent 20 cleaning the bathroom and 20 cleaning the bedroom. That burns calories,right? That counts as some sort of exercise,right? :tongue:
TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Friday's intake so far:
One bowl of oatmeal (Strawberry and cream flavor)
1 8 oz glass of milk for which I know I will sorely sorry later on, as I am lactose intolerant. But..I love milk. And we're out of soy milk. Oh well...

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Ok...had a bag of popcorn around 10:30 this morning and haven't eaten since then. I probably should,but we're low on stuff cuz DH hasn't gone to the store yet.

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Last night's dinner was 3 pieces of wheat toast with garlic butter and 1/4th cup of spaghetti with meatsauce. Had 4 double stuff oreos with one glass of milk for snack.

Saturday:
Breakfast
4 uncooked hotdogs
Snack
2 pieces toast with lettuce,tomatoes,pickles
Lunch
None
Dinner
None

Fluid intake
44 oz of iced tea with lime
16 oz of Dr.Pepper with lime
8 oz of water

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Started doing my Denise Austin Yoga video again today and boy was it a toughie! I'd forgotten how hard it can be to hold some of those poses for a long time, esp Exalted Warrior and Prayer Revolving.:earseek:

But I got through it, which made me feel proud of myself. I also did some heavy vacuuming and housecleaning once I got home, which I hoped burned off a few calories. :)

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

Ok so today I didn't do so good. Breakfast was a bowl of cereal with a snack of 2 cups of brown rice with 1/4th teaspoon of ICBINB and a dash of salt. No lunch...dinner was a 3 meat pizza cuz it's cold out and I was feeling rather lousy. I got through my exercises though...30 scissor lifts per side, 25 pushups and 25 crunches.

Tomorrow will probably be better. I hope.

TOV

[TheOtherVillainess]

I haven't posted here in a few days I know.

I've finally decided to give up. I know I'll never lose the 80 lbs I want to lose with diet/exercise alone,so why even bother? I told DH that the only thing I want for Christmas from him this year was a bottle of TrimSpa. I told him I also want to look into either having my stomach stapled or having a LAP band put in to help me control how much is in my stomach. Lord know I can't seem to control what goes in my mouth.

TOV

[TigerBear]

Have you considered doing a more structured diet - like weight watchers or South Beach?

[kayeandjim00]

I wanted to agree with TigerBear. Maybe something more structured would work. I have been there - done that with the "supplements" like TrimSpa and Metabolife and can only say that you'll get the results you are looking for but if you don't change your eating patterns and address those then you will gain it all back - and then some. Those medications are meant for short term only. Best of luck in finding what works for you.

[TheOtherVillainess]

I actually tried South Beach..and lasted exactly 2 days. IF I had a job where I was allowed frequent breaks for snacks,etc. that might actually work. BUT the job I have now is 'you get a break six and a half hours into an eight hour shift IF you are damn lucky and the mgr likes you and it's slow' type thing. The store mgr doesn't even like for us to take BATHROOM breaks.:eek: :rolleyes:

If you ask for a break to eat, they look at you like you are crazy and there is NO way for me to sneak into the back,scarf something down and run back out in the front.We aren't allowed in the back unless we are told to retrieve a specific item (fill the ice bucket, for example),told to go on break/bathroom trip or we are about to clock out. That's it. IF you are caught in the back by the store mgr without a reason for being back there, you are severely reprimanded. We cannot keep food,etc out front due to health code violations.

Even when I was pregnant last year with DS and had a bloody DR"S NOTE that said I was to be allowed to eat every so often (15 min break every 2 hrs, 30 min break every 4 hrs), they didn't like giving me breaks and twice I passed out from a combination of extreme hunger,thirst and exhaustion brought on by working so much and the pregnancy.

So SBD or Atkins or something a bit more structured wouldn't work,although I wish it would. :( By the time I get home from work, I'm so tired all I can do is eat, feed/change/bathe DS and put him down before I collapse on the couch or in bed and fall asleep.

*ETA--I actually don't eat that much unless I'm depressed. I do admit to being a carb addict,though. I cannot give up my carbs..I'm sorry. I like my pasta, bread and cereal WAY too much to give them up. I don't eat more than a normal person and I have been trying to cut my portions in half lately.*

TOV

[geetey]

Hi Tov!
Just stopping by to say Hi and to say that I am sorry to read about your work situation. It certainly isn't right that your boss can make such demands upon the employees, but that doesn't help you, does it?

Good luck in your endeavors, and with your boss!

[TheOtherVillainess]

That's a big part of why I'm searching for a new job,geetey. The guy is a total jerk and unfortunately, in the state of Tx (where I live)it's totally legal. :(

Oh well...

TOV

[geetey]

:scratchin hmmm..... wondering if I can say what I want to without being censored by the DIS. I am going to try...

TOV,
That just sucks!!

Good luck with the new job hunt!! That sounds like a much better option than working for the Jerk!