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cokegal19
08-23-2004, 03:03 PM
I know it may be "morally" wrong to do, but if I can save the money, why not? My son will be 3 in June, and we are going in October. Do you think this is to big of a gap between his birthday and when we are going to "cheat" the system? Will they ask for ID for him? Will they make us buy a ticket? Has anyone else ever done this? If they have a suspision that he is older than 3, will they make me buy my son a ticket? Like I said, I know it may be wrong to lie, but I am going to Disney on a VERY tight budget, and anything can help!!!!!

Thanks!

Cora
08-23-2004, 03:12 PM
You are going to hear from a lot of people on this and I don't think you are going to be happy with what they say. That being said, I will only say one thing "Your son is 3...take it from there."

cokegal19
08-23-2004, 03:16 PM
It is really that bad to do that? It's not like he's 4 or something. It's a matter of 4 months difference.

mouse1
08-23-2004, 03:17 PM
I know people that did that and nobody questioned them. I guess if your child is 5 and you say he is 3 then I would worry.

Go ahead and save your money I think disney will still make a profit.

MrsPete
08-23-2004, 03:28 PM
You said you know it's morally wrong.
You said you know it's wrong to lie.
You use the word "cheating" in your post.
You're obviously concerned that you may be caught.

You've already answered your own question.

LisaNJ25
08-23-2004, 03:36 PM
I made sure I brought a copy of my daughters Birth Certificate on our last visit because she was only a week from turning 3. I also brought it for my son because he was 2 months shy of turning 10 but is on the larger side.

Hopefully they donít stop you.. I would hate to have to pay that money at the gate.

Bottom line heís 3, just a buy a ticket. They have age limits for a reason. When he is 10 are you going to buy him a childís ticket?

There are other ways you can save money in the parks.

cokegal19
08-23-2004, 03:38 PM
My question's were:

Do you think this is to big of a gap between his birthday and when we are going to "cheat" the system? Will they ask for ID for him? Will they make us buy a ticket? Has anyone else ever done this? If they have a suspision that he is older than 3, will they make me buy my son a ticket?

punkin
08-23-2004, 03:47 PM
All moralizing aside, I will answer your questions (this does not mean I approve, but that part is up to you. I'm just providing information). No one will ask you for ID for a 3 year old so you will definately be able to get him in - no questions asked.

Cora
08-23-2004, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by cokegal19
My question's were:

Do you think this is to big of a gap between his birthday and when we are going to "cheat" the system?

?YES, I've been buying tickets for my son since he was 3.

Will they ask for ID for him? They could.

Will they make us buy a ticket? Maybe, maybe not.

Has anyone else ever done this? No one that I personally know.

If they have a suspision that he is older than 3, will they make me buy my son a ticket? I would hope so.



My question to you is: If a CM says "oh he's so cute...how old are you?" And your son says 3, what are you going to do?

swilshire
08-23-2004, 03:51 PM
I struggled with this when my oldest turned three, particularly since we went just a few days after her birthday (bad planning, obviously). Money was tight and it did seem like a way to save.

Then I weighed how proud she was of being three and the fact that she would tell anyone who ask her age. I certainly didn't want to tell her to lie if someone ask, as I didn't want to encourage that sort of behavior. In the end, I bit the bullet and bought her a ticket.

When the next kid was turning three, I just scheduled the trip before his birthday. That seemed the simplest way to go.

Sheila

poohbear7
08-23-2004, 03:54 PM
I would buy him a ticket to be safe.

raysnkaysmom
08-23-2004, 04:25 PM
I may not be popular for saying this...but when I went last April..my daughter had already been 3 since the previous August...but I was budgeted as well...and already paying for 3 other kids. She wasn't tall enough to ride much so I told myself this "I'll push her thru the stroller gate in the stroller while my friend paid for the tickets and passed them to the people who took tickets...if they asked me how old she was...I woulda just bought one...but if I push her thru and nothing is said...I'll save that money for a little bit nicer lunch for us all"
Well...I was never asked...and she got in. She looks small in the stroller...barely had any hair..LOL..so I did it. I was scared they were going to ask...and I knew it was wrong...BUT...I wanted to have a great experience with 4 kids and all the extra cash I could hold on to...I did.
I'm sure you'd get away with it no problem...but if you get the extra money somehow..you'd probably feel better paying.. I would have...but I'm not gonna say I felt guilty my whole trip either!!!!!!!!

maraakl
08-23-2004, 04:41 PM
Three is three regardless of how long they have been three.
You are not unique in tight budgets or budgets in general. We all have them. Most of us don't cheat the system. Offing it to the fact that they will make a profit is not even salient to the point.
Rules are rules, follow them or not, your choice. It is just a slap in the fact to those of use who do follow the rules. In the long run it does cost us all.
Personally, if I were on a tight budget, I would wait until I could afford the ticket for my child rather than lie and steal.

Pinnie
08-23-2004, 04:45 PM
This thread makes me very, very sad.

My suggestion is that if your budget is so tight right now you wait awhile and go when you can afford it. Do the right thing and buy your child a ticket.

pinnie

cokegal19
08-23-2004, 04:46 PM
Thanks. I think I feel the same way as you. I do know it's wrong, but if you can save the money than, why not? And your right. My son won't be able to go on much anyway. The only difference between me and you is that my son DOES look older than he is. A lot of people think he's 3 already, and he just turned 2! I'm hoping they won't say anything. Another poster made the comment that what if a CM asked how old he is. What am I supposed to say? I just think that they will be to busy to take the time to do that, but who knows, this is Disney world! Everyone is so friendly there! I'm hoping he'll be sleeping or something, but hey, a 3 year old on his way to Disney World will be sleeping?????? NOT A CHANCE!!! :)

Thanks for the advice everyone!

lilsonicfan
08-23-2004, 04:56 PM
Why do threads like these never die...

If you can't afford to go, don't go. The rest of us who DON'T cheat the system save and save so that we can enjoy our trip. Why should you benefit by lying and cheating, and basically stealing, while the rest of us pay good money for tickets? For goodness sake....

And for the poster who wanted to have a great time with his/her 4 kids - isn't that a great example to teach your kids - that with a little deception, you can save a bit of money.

lilsonicfan
08-23-2004, 04:58 PM
(sorry! i know i should have let this thread die.. haha)

Pinnie
08-23-2004, 05:04 PM
What I find most intersting is that the OP posted on the DVC board that she is thinking of buying into DVC. If she can't afford a ticket for her three year old, how can she afford the cost of 150 points at $95 a point plus the annual dues?

Amazing...simply amazing...

pinnie

Bethshaya
08-23-2004, 06:22 PM
Originally posted by cokegal19
My question's were:

Do you think this is to big of a gap between his birthday and when we are going to "cheat" the system? Will they ask for ID for him? Will they make us buy a ticket? Has anyone else ever done this? If they have a suspision that he is older than 3, will they make me buy my son a ticket?

Yes, yes and yes.

Because if you are that tight of a budget and you are caught, no one can go because someone would have to stay outside the park with the little one. Ruins the whole trip for everyone..just to cheat by.

I would say put off the trip until you can save enough money to comfortabally purchase his ticket. If you are that strapped, you prolly shouldn't be going anyway.

crazyforgoofy
08-23-2004, 06:23 PM
Originally posted by LisaNJ25
I made sure I brought a copy of my daughters Birth Certificate on our last visit because she was only a week from turning 3. I also brought it for my son because he was 2 months shy of turning 10 but is on the larger side.

Hopefully they donít stop you.. I would hate to have to pay that money at the gate.

Bottom line heís 3, just a buy a ticket. They have age limits for a reason. When he is 10 are you going to buy him a childís ticket?

There are other ways you can save money in the parks.


Lisa, I just noticed your due date is tomorrow and you're naming her Isabella. From one happy family with an Isabella to another

CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES on your new Disney Princess!princess:

Ali
08-23-2004, 06:35 PM
Just yesterday My DH said, "wow, when we go to Disney in October we'll have to buy DS a ticket - and he doesn't even do anything excpet ride in his stroller. What a racket." Then he said, "I heard there are Play Four days then, so at least it won't be as bad!" My husband is the original Eagle Scout, and has tried from day one to influence me to act more morally responsible.

We made our last free trip with DS the weekend before he turned three - and he's a very tall kid, so whever I was asked by CM's how old he was as I pushed him through the stroller gate - which was all weekend - I said it's his last time free - he's Three on wednesday!

Prior to that trip NO ONE asked us how old he was - and we had been there 15 times since he turned 2 - as seasonal passholders.
I had a copy of his birth certificate with me, because I felt like I needed to be prepared, even though we were telling the truth. I didn't want any problems when we were going through the gates.

To answer your original questions - yes people have done it. Is it worth it to you to be worried all the time that someone will challenge you? Peace of mind is worth more than money in my opinion.

Can you do it? Obviously you can - you have admitted you know it's wrong, and still want to do it.

So do it, or don't do it, but determine what this FREEBIE is really worth to you and your children.

Good luck.

MOMTOMOOTOO
08-23-2004, 06:40 PM
As other posters have replied it obviously can be done.
According to your countdown you now have 14months to figure this into the budget. Get an envelope and put $3.00 per week into it and by the time the trip comes voila you have enough for a childs parkhopper pass! No gulity concious, no cheating and it will save alot of embarassment should your child tell the truth.

luvindisneyworld
08-23-2004, 07:11 PM
If you cant afford a childs ticket then you sure cant afford to pay 10-20% down for DVC.I think if you cant afford to go then dont go.It looks like it will be Disney and Universal and a cruise ssems to me if you have money to do all that then you should be able to spare enough to get a ticket.:rolleyes:

maraakl
08-23-2004, 08:19 PM
cokegal19
Gee, do you have any cheats for me? I have a bad back and cannot go on much either? Should I get a discount or get in for free?

Your knowing it is wrong but not caring is the most disturbing part of your posts.

What would God say? Or, do you care?

LisaNJ25
08-23-2004, 08:37 PM
Originally posted by crazyforgoofy
Lisa, I just noticed your due date is tomorrow and you're naming her Isabella. From one happy family with an Isabella to another

CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES on your new Disney Princess!princess:

Thank You crazyforgoofy:wave2:

This Belle is being stubborn. She doesnt want to come out and look like they will have to do a c-section and go in a get her.

PlutoPony
08-23-2004, 09:07 PM
Ok, the chances of you getting CAUGHT by Disney is probably pretty low, but is that really the bottom line here?? Given that you have other children who are older than the 3 year old, won't they know or realize that you've essentially "cheated" by getting the younger sibling in free?? And how do you respond to them later if/when they lie to you about something in the future - when unfortunately an example has been set? How do you draw lines with kids about when it's "ok" to essentially not tell the truth? I really hate to "moralize" on this, but as we all know it can be very difficult these days to bring up children to recognize the difference between right and wrong, and seeing a parent "blur" the line only makes that worse..... sorry! (off soapbox - but these kinds of discussions really make me sad and concerned for the future)

etwinchester
08-23-2004, 09:42 PM
In my opinion, your child is 3 and they require a ticket.

We went to Florida last year. My DD turned 3 on January 25 and we went to WDW from March 1-15 (only a little over a month from her b-day). I purchased her a park hopper ticket as well as a Sea World ticket. My daughter knew how old she was and I would NEVER ask her to lie. CM's are very friendly with the children and one did ask how old she was. It wasn't at the gate but while waiting in line. DD was talking up a storm and the CM commented on how "cute and outgoing she was".

The decision is yours to make, but again if your child is 3 (3 is 3 no matter how long ago their b-day was), then they are required to have a ticket...

MsLeFever
08-23-2004, 10:45 PM
Hey girlfriend!

Let's start a 2008 club!

Barbara

disneyma2
08-23-2004, 10:57 PM
First off, buy the ticket, 3 is 3 just like others have said.

On our first trip to wdw dd was 2, the trip was in sept, she was turning 3 on Oct, we planned it accordingly, so she was free. Now, my dd is tall for her age, and at Boma, we stayed at AKL, they did ask how old was she...of course she was 2 so that was fine......I can't imagine lying about my child's age to save a buck or two. My dd is now 3 almost 4 and when she turned 3, anyone that was listening, new that she was 3, she was so so proud.

Kids like to tell people how old they are, especially if they've just had a birthday, it's big steeping stone for them.

We all have tight budgets, you are not alone. That's why we plan ahead for our trips and budget accordingly. I suggest postponing your trip till you can afford the necessary expenses.

ceecee
08-24-2004, 01:47 AM
He will actually be 3 1/3 years old, I think buying a ticket would be the right thing or go 4 months earlier!
Besides, are you going to tell your child (and siblings!!!) to lie.....as the above poster said 3 year olds are very proud to turn 3 and DD would have told anyone who was listening how old she was.
You essentially are telling all of your children that it is okay to cheat the system if you can get by with it. Not a good lesson and that's part of the reason why we have so many problems in the world today.

LUVTGR
08-24-2004, 02:03 AM
I don't have children and I'm not going to judge your morals I just have a question. Does any one know why children under 3 are free? Is it b/c they are too little to ride the rides? If that is the case maybe it would be smarter if the prices were base on the childs size rather than age. It takes the chance to "cheat the system" out of the equation. Just my thought. I was also surprised when I was told there was no seniors discount my grandparents who are in their 70's (grandpa is in a wheelchair)are coming to my wedding and we have to buy them full price adult tickets just so they can eat lunches and dinners w/ us in the parks.

Dizzy4Dizney
08-24-2004, 06:13 AM
Our DD turned 3 2 months before we went last Sept. We did the moral thing and bought her a ticket. Although I don't agree with the age limits, I thought it was the right thing to do. I feel under 3 should be free, 3-7 should be the next level, 7-12 the next than the adult tickets. At age 5, they still can't do a lot of things and I don't know about you, but I don't think too many 5 year olds can be at the parks from 9:00 am to midnight with out a few meltdowns!!

I have a suggestion, buy a ticket for the 3 yo for 1/2 the trip. Then you won't feel so guilty!

Doodlebug939
08-24-2004, 07:04 AM
I have a daughter who is three this year and I plan to buy her a ticket. Last year when she was two we went to Disney and didnt need a ticket but she was often asked how old she was. Not in a way that was negative but the CM made conversation with her and her brother. I find it morally wrong to lie about your childs age.

If I was to lie about her age this year and find ways to justify that she shouldnt have to pay for a ticket then I would just be lying to myself. At age two my daughter rode many rides at Epcot and MK. So I couldnt use the excuse that oh she couldnt ride much. It is a lie.

Also do you plan to do priority settings at Buffets like Chef Mickeys and such. Do you plan to lie then too?

Ultimately we all like to have freebies and save where we can. I am one of them. But you are sending the signal to your children that it is ok to Lie to adults as long as it doesnt hurt anyone and benfits themselves. You may thing that it is not a big deal but I do.

bigbabyblues
08-24-2004, 08:07 AM
Do you think this is to big of a gap between his birthday and when we are going to "cheat" the system?

If the cutoff for no ticket is 3, then even one day past 3 is too big of a gap, unless the child turned 3 during the trip, in which case he was 2 at the beginning and that's how they count that from what I've heard. Rules are rules, whether you like it or not. I don't understand why people can't understand this, or think it doesn't apply to them. Wrong is wrong, lying is lying.

That said, I don't think 3-yo get enough out of the parks (they can't ride alot, etc) to justify requiring them to have a ticket, but as I said, that's the way it is. If you can't afford a ticket for him, go before the 3rd birthday and don't cheat.

tink2
08-24-2004, 08:18 AM
I'm not going to judge you by whether or not you buy the ticket. I will however tell you that my 2 1/2 year old was asked many times last year how old he was. This was not at the gate, but by friendly cast members trying to talk to him. One morning we were waiting on the gates to open and a cm asked to start the conversation. He had no idea if we had a ticket or not, just making conversation.
DS will be three this year and we have already bought him a ticket. I don't agree with the age thing either, but they must start somewhere.
Good luck with your decision. princess:

jkovick
08-24-2004, 08:25 AM
I feel very sorry for anyone who feels they must lie and cheat and encourage their children to do the same just to save a little money. It seems so sad. How can you enjoy the happiest place on earth knowing you did that and your child or children know it too? :(

imsayin
08-24-2004, 08:32 AM
Ultimately, you are setting an example for your children. If you want to teach your older children that it is okay to cheat the system and lie for your benefit, go ahead. Children always seem to know what is going on and follow the lead set by their parents. I believe in being the #1 role model for my children.

cokegal19
08-24-2004, 08:35 AM
You know, I really do understand both sides of this. And both sides have good points. I've thought about it and although we really can't afford it, I do think it might be best to just buy a ticket for my son. We have a budget that we set aside every month for our next trip. I think what I'll do is just set aside a little extra every month for my sons ticket, or just buy it earlier, so the money won't come out of our initial trip budget. That way we won't notice the money difference. I DO NOT want to encourage my son to think that it is ok to lie, because it's not.

And in responce to a previous poster about my interest in DVC, I had no idea how much it would cost to own in DVC. After I looked at the points and the price per points and figured everyhing out, I would not benifit from it at all. I am perfectly fine with 3 or 4 star hotels on priceline for 50/night!!!

Thanks to all for your opinions.

tiggercrazy
08-24-2004, 09:24 AM
She is very small for her age. Honestly, it never crossed my mind not to buy her a ticket for our trip in Jan...until now. I'm thinking, wow, we could really save a big chunk of change! But in the next second I think, wow, how stressful would that be.

I just think that on vacation I would not want to be worried about someone asking me my daughters age and having to go through the hassle of buying a ticket at the gate. Not to mention the embarrasment of having to admit to a cm that you were trying to buck the system.

GOODFELLA
08-24-2004, 12:11 PM
I'm sorry all of a sudden everybody is honest Abe, Disney will not card a 3 or a 4 year old. What are they going to do ask for his birth certif.Now that said if you feel like this is going to be eating away at your insides then don't do it.But if not go a head and have fun I would even tell them that it's his birthday this week and we are here to celebrate it.Now I know its another lie but why stop on the 1st fib........

Microcell
08-24-2004, 12:12 PM
I was in the same boat you are in wanting to go in May but DS turns 3 in April, so we are trying to go in March! I could not cheat. We had to pay airfare for DS last trip which was 15 days after he turned two, which was a hard one, so I do understand the cost!

kfeuer
08-24-2004, 12:14 PM
Originally posted by cokegal19
You know, I really do understand both sides of this. And both sides have good points. I've thought about it and although we really can't afford it, I do think it might be best to just buy a ticket for my son. We have a budget that we set aside every month for our next trip. I think what I'll do is just set aside a little extra every month for my sons ticket, or just buy it earlier, so the money won't come out of our initial trip budget. That way we won't notice the money difference. I DO NOT want to encourage my son to think that it is ok to lie, because it's not.



:jumping1:

Glad to hear it! It is tough having to pay for 3-year olds, but it's so worth it to do the right thing.

mom-2greatkids
08-24-2004, 12:23 PM
Just my 2 cents--

First of all, I do believe that if a child is 3 they should have a ticket. What I'm trying to understand are the many opinions that a 3 year old isn't able to do much at the parks. We've taken DD when she was 2, 3, 4 and 5 and taken DS when he was 2. When DD was 3 she did most things, although she wasn't 40 inches yet, so that was her cut off. This year DS will be 3, and he will be over 40 inches. The only things I can think of that he won't do are MS, TT, RNR, Space Mountain, Dinosaur and PW. In fact, at 2 years old he essentially went on everything he was big enough for. So my quesion is, why is 3 too young for a ticket?

kmb34me
08-24-2004, 12:32 PM
This is interesting, I have no say in this b.c I havent been to disney with kids. I do plan on bringing my youngest dd's birth cert with us b.c she is enormous, she looks to be 4 but turns 2 on sept 26. I would get a ticket, just b.c thats what you should do.

Kristen

coliebird
08-24-2004, 12:50 PM
We are going next October (2005). My daughter will be 3 that July. The thought of not buying her a ticket never even crossed my mind. It is just wrong, plain & simple, plus what lesson are you teaching your child?

To each his own, but it is not something I would do. If I couldn't afford to buy her ticket, I would save for another year before going.

julia & nicks mom
08-24-2004, 01:07 PM
It seriously makes me sad at how mean you all can be in your posts -

My daughter is turning 3 the week we go and Disney told me that meals and tickets are based on her age when we make reservations. (Using their 90 day priority seating)

I think cokegal19 had a realistic post - trying to see what other people have experienced in this category.

I live near Kings Island in Ohio and was shocked to find out from a friend and confirm it with the park that if I buy MY season pass for next year now - that I will not have to buy one for my daughter who will turn 3 over the winter b/c they base it on the age of the child from when the family buys its passes. (which I know is not Disney's policy but it proves that this is not always a black and white issue - even at Disney - if you turn 3 during the trip - you don't need to buy a ticket)

Also - affording the DVC does not mean you have a million dollars to spend on trips. I have the DVC so that I can spread out the payments on my lodging and then have a limited outlay of cash when I go to Disney - I am still e-baying, having a garage sale, asking for money for our birthdays for the trip and saving my change.

I seriously doubt that none of you have never made a grey decision - I would say attacking her moral character without knowing her is not exactly moral - let's try to be a little nicer to each other!!!!!!!!!

LMC
08-24-2004, 01:13 PM
I wish they would charge by height!!! I have a DS who is three, but tells you he is four, so you can't always go on what a kid tells you! But he is very short for his age. This means that he won't be going on alot of things at WDW. He is 38" tall and last time we went, DD was 40" and missed out on alot so I know he'll miss some things! (Oh, he will be 4yrs 2 mos when we go back so plenty old enough to enjoy the atmosphere --and buy a ticket--but I am disappointed that he will miss out on the rides)

ShaneV
08-24-2004, 01:20 PM
I agree with the fact that even if you go on their birthday you need a ticket. (Unless the start of the trip is before their birthday).


I live near Kings Island in Ohio and was shocked to find out from a friend and confirm it with the park that if I buy MY season pass for next year now - that I will not have to buy one for my daughter who will turn 3 over the winter b/c they base it on the age of the child from when the family buys its passes.

Thats cool, if disney had a policy like this, but they dont. Their park, their rules.

It all really boils down to the OP knew it was wrong and wanted to know if it was worth the risk.

We all know Disney can be expensive, but we still have to follow the rules.


ANd Im glad they dont charge by height. By the time my DS was 3 we was over 40" even though he wouldnt ride the ones he was "allowed" to.

imsayin
08-24-2004, 01:24 PM
My daughter is turning 3 the week we go and Disney told me that meals and tickets are based on her age when we make reservations. (Using their 90 day priority seating)

I believe the difference here is that your daughter turns 3 during the trip which is different than being 3 at the onset of the trip. The Disney reservation system asks for "child ages at time of travel". I don't think if your child was 2 yrs 10 months when you made your reservations for 3 months later that she would not need a ticket/meal.

cutienibbler
08-24-2004, 01:41 PM
I think the OP has gotten the point ;) Geez! LOL! I have never posted, but felt the need after reading this thread.

cutienibbler
08-24-2004, 01:42 PM
I think the OP has gotten the point ;) Geez! LOL! I have never posted, but felf the need after reading this thread.

disneychrista
08-24-2004, 02:09 PM
I know it may be "morally" wrong to do, but if I can save the money, why not?
Because it is cheating, lying and stealing


son will be 3 in June, and we are going in October. Do you think this is to big of a gap between his birthday and when we are going to "cheat" the system?
Yes, I do.

Will they ask for ID for him? Will they make us buy a ticket? Has anyone else ever done this? If they have a suspision that he is older than 3, will they make me buy my son a ticket?
They will not ask for ID, what type of ID would a 3yo have anyway. Yes if they find that your child is over 3 they will make you buy a ticket.

ash&abby'smom
08-24-2004, 02:42 PM
If it's okay for you than it's okay for everyone. My DD will have just turned 4 when we go. She is very small for her age and therefore, will not be able to do a lot of the rides either. Should I have to pay? Yes, and I am no question about it. Why because that is the way disney has laid out their guidelines. Pay for the ticket that is the right thing to do. The way I feel about it is, something always comes back and bites you in the behind. Just MHO though.

cokegal19
08-24-2004, 02:49 PM
Yes, you people are pretty rude. I never said I was going to do it. I was asking if anyone else has done it and what their experience of it was. I am not a bad person, and as I said before, I do not want to encourage my son that it is ok to lie. The childs ticket is not much compared to how much we plan on spending on this trip, so it's not life or death. It would, however, be nice to have the extra money in our pocket to do other things, but if we can't, we can't.

Disneycrista, and by asking "Will they ask for Id for my son", I was talking about a birth certificate or something like it.

BethR
08-24-2004, 02:50 PM
Originally posted by cutienibbler
I think the OP has gotten the point ;) Geez!

I think so too! So this thread is being closed.

And please remember this from our "Guidelines for Posting:

We do not believe in censorship, and open discussions about various issues is encouraged. We ask that everyone conduct himself or herself with respect when speaking to other people. It is okay to disagree, as long as the discussion remains respectful of the feelings of others.