Be careful when inviting guests

[coachv]

Our family of 4 started planning our trip to WDW 6 months ago. We saved every penny to make it a trip to remember. We decided to invite my divorced friend and her 8 yr. old son to go along with us as a nice gesture. We figured that this would be a favor to them plus it would save each of us on gas and lodging costs. My husband spent many hrs. planning this trip, and he ran every detail by for her approval first. She said that everything was fine. Well, we went on our trip 2 wks. ago and she tried to ruin it for everyone. We had a really nice room that we were sharing at HIFS, and she didn't like that from the beginning. After 2 days, she said she wanted to move out, but we discouraged her because we really couldn't afford to split up. We could not figure out why she was mad at us. She seemed to be upset everywhere we went and everything we did. My husband was willing to take her to another park, but she never suggested it. On the 5th day of our trip, she moved out of our room while we were in there, and did not inform us that she was moving out. She called 5 hrs. later to say that she was in her own room. That was fine with us, but we didn't understand why she didn't inform us. This cost us extra money that we had set aside for souvenirs, etc. She said that they were going to MGM on their own the next day, and to let them know when we were leaving on Sunday. On Sun. morning, my husband called her room to tell us that we were getting ready to pack up the car to head back to TX, and she was not there. He went to the hotel desk, and was told that she checked out that morning. She left us no message or anything. Evidently she took the bus or flew back to TX without telling us anything. This was very upsetting to us because we did not know where she was and was afraid we were leaving them there. My husband searched for her for 2 hrs. before we finally left.

I just feel that we did not deserve to be treated this way. We invited them to join us as a favor to them, and they treated us like this. This was a friend of 30 yrs. If she wanted to do her own thing, that was fine, but she should have told us. She has never given us so much as a thank you for letting them go along. I feel that we were treated very unfairly, and she has still not told us why she was so upset with us. We will never invite anyone to go along with us again. She tried to ruin a very nice vacation, but never again!!! I'm feeling very upset because I don't understand why we were done this way when we were trying to do a favor for a friend. I feel that she used us. Anyone else agree with me that her behavior was wrong and that we were treated unfairly??????

[GailT]

Put it this way, she would now be my EX-FRIEND. That is NOTt acceptable in my book, That is why my vacations are just that, MY vacations with my son, no one to ruin it or tell me what to do with the money I saved to take a trip.
:)

[coachv]

Thanks. That's how I feel. I'm just feeling really upset that she treated us that way. We've been really good friends for 30 yrs. and I don't understand it at all, especially since we don't know what we did. So much for a favor I guess!!!!!

[swankybeth]

That sounds terrible. :( I'm sorry your so-called friend was so selfish and rude on your vacation. Nobody deserves treatment like that, especially while on vacation!!

Beth :D

[coachv]

Yeah, I'm pretty upset because we meant well. If we knew what was bothering her, we might could have done something about it. As a result, I lost a 30 yr. friendship. Luckily, our 5 and 7 yr. old sons still had a wonderful time on their first trip to WDW. They loved it. We'll try to save up again and go again BY OURSELVES in a few yrs.!!!

[Jenn]

Inviting extra people can really be tough. We have had several trips with extended family and personalities do come into play and sometimes issues arrise.

During one trip, we had 1 person who just didn't want to be at WDW, bottom line. He complained about the $$, the food, the heat, the lines, you name it. He made it difficult for the other 11 people in our group to enjoy ourselves. We learned our lesson and aren't planning to go with him again.

We have also had a trip where a fairly new boyfriend of my adult sister was invited along. We felt like we had to run all our decisions by him since we really didn't know him all that well. That in and of itself was a pain, but when he didn't agree with us, it really annoyed us. He didn't want to spend what we wanted on food, didn't want to hit the park we wanted to hit on a particular day, etc. We won't make that mistake again, either. My sister even had a bad time and it was her boyfriend!

[apm]

Coachv, you were definitely treated unfairly, and I'm sorry for you and your husband. Hopefully you'll be able to salvage some of the memories.

We're going in July, and bringing our 18-year old babysitter along. We're paying for nearly everything, so I expect that she'll be happy as can be. But, we're still a bit nervous about it, because it's someone else who needs to be kept entertained. Of course, she'll be helping to keep our kids (DD9 and DD4) entertained, as well. All in all, we're expecting a great trip.

- Andy

[Towncrier]

We invited my sister and her family to join us at WDW in 1998. We booked a Grand Villa at Old Key West Resort. Their only expense would be LOS passes for her kids (since we had free passes from the Disney Vacation Club for the adults). It was the WORST five days that I've ever spent at WDW. My youngest nephew was bound and determined to make Uncle John (me) miserable. Fortunately, I had the foresight to book an additional 4 nights at Wilderness Lodge for just my family. These were among the best four days that we have spent at WDW. So I guess that you can't have sweet without sour, or good without bad, but this was the LAST time that I invite family to spend a vacation with us. About the only good that can come from your experience is the realization that your next family vacation will be a lot better. Sorry that you had to deal with this.

[trishy]

My hubby & I vacation with friends quite often. We've learned from the beginning that we had to set our own itinerary and not to expect the others to join in if they didn't want to. Lots of things come in to play when you vacation with others (for example $$$$). We are fortunate to be able to splurge at times, but we don't expect others to do the same. We are going to BWV in just over a week with another family (they have their own room) and we have given each other our itineraries for the trip. We figure we can join up part of the time. Otherwise vacationing with others could feel pretty confining. What a bummer it didn't work out - it's a shame to lose a friendship, but sounds like she didn't appreciate you anyway. :confused:


http://members.delphi.com/trish489/eeyore.jpg

[coachv]

She was never expected to follow our itinerary at any time. That's what was so crazy. She chose to follow us around everywhere, so we didn't understand why she was so upset. We would have been happy to drop her off at a different park, etc., but she never mentioned it once. My husband did ALL of the planning for this trip, and she did absolutely none. We sent her this website and others to look at, and she never did. She knew absolutely nothing so that's why she followed us around. Since this was what she chose to do, she should have refrained from her bad mood and the griping. My husband did an absolutely great job in planning this trip and she should have been nothing but appreciative. He has received not even as much as a thank you!!!!

[jesdmill1]

I lost a friendship over a trip. Visited LA with my SO and best friend. Turned out that she was terrified of LA and refused to leave the hotel - well, she wanted us to stay with her, and when we didn't she was really angry. She was participating in a talent contest at the hotel (the reason for the trip.) The last night we went to the show taping at Universal and she just took off - we stayed around for an hour trying to find her because we didn't want to leave her. Turned out she had hitched a ride with some other participants, saying she didn't want to ride with us because we were inconsiderate. Huh?

Why do people act so crazy on vacation?? Oh well, we still had a great time (2 days at Disneyland!) But I will not invite anyone to go with us now. SO's mother wanted to go with us to WDW this summer - uh-uh. She doesn't like me and she doesn't do what anyone else wants - it would be miserable. SO agrees and so she isn't going.

[lynr]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. Almost every year we invite one of my sons friends, or my niece along with us. Last year we went with my sister and her family to Disneyworld and then the cruise we always have a great time. Of course I foot the bill for everything so there isn't really anything for them to complain about. This year I will have my niece with my son and I at DW and then my husband and my son's friend will join us for the cruise. I hope that me saying we always have a great time doesn't jinx me.

[Crzy4Dzny]

That's really too bad, what all happened to you. You definitely did not deserve it. I once asked my husband if we could invite a friend of mine & her husband to go with us and he said, 'NO!!!!!' He's a very easy going guy too, but he'd never want to take a chance of the friend ruining it for us, mainly cause of how expensive the trip is in the first place. We have gone with our daughter's & their families & it's been fun, but we go our own way when we NEED the alone time. Our next trip is just the two of us though, & we're looking forward to it.
One of our daughter's, son-in-law & granddaughter, lived in St. Cloud (last year, but have moved back home since), & they stayed with us a lot. But, what was fun, was we went to different places in Florida to eat, we went to Old Town, and the Belz Outlet Mall. Loved the Disney store there. But, it will be different for us to do Disney alone. :D

[hilside]

A couple of years ago, I was taking a driving trip with my friend Christine & her dh Mike to L.A. to visit another friend. I knew that Christine was not a Disney person (she's one of those that continually makes fun of me for my obsession.. "How many Little Mermaid things must one person have??" :mad: ). When we were discussing our itinerary for the trip, I stated I was going to Disneyland. But I made it clear that if Christine & her hubby wanted to come along, they were more than welcome to, but not if they were going to crab! I told them that if they even thought about whining about the heat or lines or just general Disney-ness ;) , then they could just drop me off & they could go do something else. They were not going to ruin the magic for me! :D Well, they ended up going, & didn't complain once. In fact, I kept trying to get them to ride the wilder rides that I couldn't do (I use a motorized wheelchair & can't transfer out of it), because I know Christine likes roller coasters & such, but she said she'd rather just hang out with me. Awww.. :sniff, sniff: :p

[Robinrs]

I am one of those people who lost friends after a vacation...

I agree that what your friend did was inexcusable, but I would really advise you to talk to her. This is a friend of 30 years, that's longer than family! You should find out what happened.

The reason I say so is because I had a problem with a travelling partner :rolleyes: and she had NO EARTHLY IDEA why I was so angry with her. AND I WAS ANGRY! :mad: After discussing it with her we managed to get on the same page and worked it out since then.

Vacations, IMHO, are planned and paid well for, so people have high expectations of them. When anything goes wrong we know this is not going to be rectified in a week from now. I now tell my son if you want to take your "little friend" look at me, I AM YOUR LITTLE FRIEND!

[mommyto3]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. After reading some of the replies I feel very fortunate, we always go on vacation with a certain family (our 10 year old daughters are best friends) and have never had a problem. We have a fantastic time together! But I guess this is not the norm. I will admit, there are some people in our family, and other friends of ours, who I don't think I would EVER want to go on vacation with!!!!

[GoofyBeth]

A few years ago I took a trip to LA with a "friend". All I was to pay for was my plane ticket .. since she already had the hotel room ... and would have used it anyway.

This "friend" treated me sooooooo badly I couldn't believe it. I tried to come home early - it was that bad!

Anyway, after we get home, she tells me that I now owe her, also, for 1/2 of the hotel bill. My 1/2 would be about $900. I hadn't budgeted for that at all.

Beth

[Mackey Mouse]

Just my thoughts this morning.. I think WDW can be overwhelming and the need to see it all and do it all can do the best of us in.. So in saying that, it is hard enough for families to get in there and enjoy it to its best.

Add another family, even though your best friend all those years, into those dynamics and you have another whole thing.. I am glad that you did not allow it to ruin your vacation and hopefully you will get to save again and go again.. Just you and your family... As far as the friend is concerned, I think the ball is in her court and I would let her contact you with an explanation of her behavior and if not, then you are better off without her.

[MikeP]

You are most definately entitled to an explanation of what your "friends" problem was. I hope her disrespect didn't completely ruin your Disney vacation. We almost had a similiar problem with an aunt and uncle that wanted to go with us in '95. My uncle is the type that wants things his way and my wife and I since we had originated the idea of going had every intention of doing things our way. Luckily by being fairly vague about our plans, by the time we "had" to share the details of our trip (dates), they couldn't get off work for the same dates. ;)

[Mousgroupy]

Oh my! This just makes me nuts! This is just THE best place to vacation and THE most expensive place to vacation and to have that diminished AT ALL by someone you were DOING A FAVOR for...well...hope she is miserable and "gets" how poorly she treated your family. she probably doesn't and you will have to content yourself with a lesson learned. I'm so sorry and I hope you get to make a return trip sans the ungrateful wench soon!!! There, did that make you feel better?:)

[Goofball]

That is just wrong! I would not recommend ever trying to take this person anywhere again!

[coachv]

Thanks Mousgroupy. My sentiments exactly!!!!!!!!! Don't worry, Goofball. She won't travel with me as far as the next street corner again!!!!!!!!!!!

[*Fantasia*]

I only read your post, and here is my say...say hello to your ex-friend!

You are very right, you and your family does not deserve to be treated that way. She is inconsiderate for not telling you that she is moving out of the room and especially for not telling you that she already had left for home.

A friend can talk to a friend no matter what. If there is a problem, she should have confronted you and fixed the problem, instead she gave you an "attitude" through out the entire trip. I know the trip was not a happy one, not if someone is a "grouch".

She didn't even bother to say thank you for inviting her to the trip. What is her problem? Anyway...If she doesn't call for an apology, then don't worry about it. She must realize that she has a problem and it sure is not your problem

I' sorry that your friend has to be like this towards you, especially that she has been your friend for so many years. Don't worry, it's will be alright. If she doesn't come around, then don't worry about it, maybe it's for the best.

[WorknFires]

DH & I are going to WDW and the Disney Wonder in Oct and taking my mom because she's never been to either WDW or on a cruise. I know my mom is like me and loves riding everything and seeing everything and I'm positive that she will have the best time! BUT... my mom smokes and is occassionally a social drinker and DH & I are neither, so I also invited my aunt who is both. She's much more laid back than mom or me but I'm really hoping she'll enjoy herself too (all she has to buy is her LOS pass) I don't want the fact that she may not want to ride something keep my mom from riding out of politeness. I'm inviting her so that they can do their own things too -and that isn't a problem- as well as things together. I think the biggest problem is gonna be that DH, mom and I are pretty good eaters and she eats like a bird so doing the charactor buffets may be "offensive" to her. I don't know, I hope it all works out because I'm doing it again next year with DH's parents. LOL

Cheryl :bounce:

[DISFANS3]

WE will be going to WDW in Aug, Going on vacation with friends or Family is most difficult, always end up doing what the want to do.. I have a lot better time with just my wife and daughter. We go and do what we feal like doing?? I am not one to cause trouble, just tired of baby sitting and putting out the bucks why everbody else has the fun... WDW for us- no Family-or Friends, CBR99, Allstar Movies Feb 2001, Allstar music Aug 2001........

[Sawyer]

I can't believe I'm saying this but we actually regretted including my stepdaughter on our trip to WDW this year. Me and DH were taking our 2 sons to WDW and planned everything around taking my 13 year old stepdaughter with us. She lives in another state with her mother and we went through alot of extra expense and planning to make sure we could include her. We flew her down to our house, planned lots of activities just for her, arranged for her to get out of school a week early, etc. Apparently we were alot more excited about her going to WDW than she was, because, as soon as we got there, she started saying she wanted to go home!!:earseek: We did everything we could think of to help her enjoy herself, but there we were, day after day, standing in the middle of the happiest place on earth, and she was crying for her mother and asking when we could leave!!:rolleyes: :( :eek: Our little ones were having such a good time, but her homesickness really put a damper on things. As much as we had wanted her to have the vacation of a lifetime, DH and me found ourselves regretting bringing her. :(

[D,L and K's Mom]

Our first trip to Disney we took my mother-in-law (whom I love ) and my sister-in-law along with us. They each got their own rom (Spoiled) and the 4 of us me, dd, ds , and dh, shared a room. The first day was nice eveyone had fun...it went downhill from there.....Grandma was tired alot and didnt want to walk in the parks. Sis, who we 25 and single at the time wanted to go to Pleasure Island etc. The big problem was that we had never discussed before how we would handle the trip. We sort of felt like we had to "Stick Togeather" it didnt work. The next trip we had friends of ours from Texas meet us there along with Sis again. This was the best trip we ever had to Disney. Before we left we all made a short list of things we wanted to see and do. The first day everyone was on their own to go where they pleased and we met at night for dinner at a restaurnat we had all put on our list (Ohana). The next day we all went to MK togeather but then split up around noon and did our own thing. We met at the hotel pool later that night around 8. This worked great. The couple from Texas even took our kids one night so we could have a nice romantic dinner. My advice is.......make plans before you go ...plan out if you want to do things togeather or on your own . We all had a blast at Chef Mickeys and the picture we had taken of the group is one of my favorite!!! Another thought be careful if you take along another person whom you are responsible for. On another trip we took along our neighboe who was 16 at the time she was a joy to have with us and we really enjoyed her company. Unfortunatly she was leaving 5 days before we were. DH was going to bring her to the airport and wait til her plane took off. The day she was to leave she got terribley ill (fever, vomiting etc). We called our neighbors and told them that we didnt feel comfortable putting her on the plane in that condition so we paid extra for her to change her ticket and leave the next day. Unfortunatly she was no better the next day and when we called our neighbors they said, "Just put her on the plane".They were leaving for a family vacation the next day . We felt awful doing this but we did and she flew home with the "little bag" in her lap the whole way home. I was a wreck until we heard that she was home safe and sound. I will think twice about taking someone elses child on vacation again.

[Miss Jasmine]

Boy, that broke my heart to see that someone regretted taking their stepdaughter. :(

She must not travel far from home or without her mom.

DH and I took my stepdaughter (9) and stepson (8) to Disneyland and DCA and had a wonderful time. Of course, we spend lots of time together so homesickness was not an issue. I mean we had our Noon moods, as we liked to call them, when we knew it was time to break and go back to the hotel for naps (including the adults). Other than that, it was the vacation of our lives.

It's still so sad. :( maybe she just needs some extra TLC.

[wmears13]

I am leaving July 6th with 9 other family members!!!!

2 ds, bil and dn & dns. And my DH.
;)

Will either return full of "bliss"; completely white headed or completely bald headed.

:confused:

Can 3 sisters coexist for a week without bloodshed?!:eek:

Stay tuned: Enquiring Minds want to Know!

:jester:

[DISLOVE]

I'm sorry to hear that your friend ruined your trip. Have you talked with her at all since you returned home?

We went back in 97 with a large group and we had an absolute blast. My aunt had a teenage daughter who threw
a couple fits for various reasons and locked herself (with all the room keys) in the room.... Luckily we all had seperate rooms so my sister and I went back to take a nap while they dealt with her. Since that trip we have been talking about going again in a large group... it works because we all have our own rooms and are free to roam as we please.

Hope you get to go again soon!
Kristy

[lynr]

wmears13,
One of the best trips I ever had was with my sister and her daughter. Last year we went to wdw for 5 days, my sister her daughter, my son and myself. After the 5 days our husbands met us and we went on the cruise. We had the best time, and just the time we spent alone by the pool talking was priceless to me. With our busy lives today we just don't have the time to just sit and talk. So as my travel agent said, my sister and I had a chance to reconnect. I would do it again in a heart beat. As a matter of fact this year I am taking my son, and my niece to WDW and then my husband and my son's friend are meeting us to go on the cruise. I wish my sister and brother inlaw could go with us, but they are building a new house and are in a hurry to get it finished. Well there is always next year, it just gives me a reason to go back again.
Aren't sister great!:bounce: :pinkbounc
Lyn

[DISLOVE]

My husband and I are going this fall and I really want my sister and her future husband to come along. But, alas, they
really can't afford it. I'd really enjoy going with just her but I think after the first day or two I would miss my husband.
He enjoys WDW so much as well and I would feel like he was missing out.

Candice, my sister, and I were there together on a family trip in 97 and we had a blast. I hope we get to do it again at some point.

Kristy

[Jane E.]

We've taken some successful trips with others, BUT we always make sure that they are short trips. We'll plan a trip with someone for a few days - then go off on our own for the rest of the time. On a Disney trip that we planned with a few others - we made sure to get our own hotel room. We also made breakfast ps on our own and would meet up with the group after breakfast to spend the day together. So, we had ample time away from each other. My sons have often asked to bring friends from home to Disney and I always emphatically state NO!! I want it to be time for my family alone.

[wmears13]

Lynr,

Thanks! I think we will have a great trip. It's a special trip; my dm and I -the disney "expert"- were planning a trip for us and the grandkids when we suddenly lost her. It's been a year and a half but is still very difficult.
My little ds has had a hard time dealing with it and is very nervous and high strung. I am hoping that this trip will help. (I know she needs counseling (so does her dh!), and maybe this trip will help.)
I actually have 3 ds, but one must stay home to care for my dd. This ds has college-age kids who have NO desire to go back to WDW--I tried!!! (Last trip she drug them to the World for the week between Xmas and New Years because it was "the slowest time of the Year!!!!" LOL!!! (I tried to tell her!)

Yeah, sisters are great and I've also got 2 great friends who are just as close to me as if we were related!! I'm lucky!!!:pinkbounc

[georgiapeach60]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would be very frustated too. We are going with my BIL and SIL and thier 2 sons this Feb. It will be thier first time and our second. I do have some concerns about it although generally speaking we get along well. It puts a little added pressure when you are trying to plan what to do for people other than the ones you are closest to. I figure I will do the best I can and hope that everyone has a wonderful time. My SIL just keeps telling me how grateful she is that I am doing all the work and just tell her when to have her money in. I am anticipating having a great trip. Lots of planning but everyone will be free to do thier own things if they want to. I too, will institute the NO Crabs allowed rule!!! It will be either get over it or don't tell me about it.

[kristikae]

I'm starting to get worried about my trip as well. I have promised my kids since they were young that I would take them to DisneyWorld. Well my oldest is now 15 so I figured it was time. I got a part time job and have been saving for about 6 months. I am extremely obssessive/compulsive and have been planning endlessly! A girlfriend of mine said that her and her daughter would like to go with us. We have been friends forever so I though this would be fine. We are already running into snags! At first her attitude was, "Whatever...I'll go along with whatever you want". We had originally planned to rent a house but then found cheap rates at the All Stars so I really want to stay there. Well she doesn't want to. I also want to get priority seating at Rose and Crown to watch Illuminations but she says she doesn't like any of the items on the menu and they are overpriced. It just really has me worried about how things are going to be once we get there. My kids all like fast thrill rides but I know her daughter doesn't. I just hope it all works out!

[Richnj]

Sorry to hear: Now we know why she's divorced. I feel so bad for your family.

[LKS]

That sounds like a terrible situation! I am in the camp that says you just have to talk to her again, if she will, and try to get to the bottom of what happened. Good friends are too valuable to lose.

It sounds like something happened that you don't know about. Kids fighting, she didn't like sleeping arrangements at HIFS, didn't agree with way bills were split, felt like a 5th wheel, etc... There is NO excuse for the way she acted, but perhaps the friendship can be salvaged if you can get her to explain what made her do it - She may even apologize.

[coachv]

Well, LKS, that's exactly what I attempted to do yesterday. Eventhough, I felt that we were the ones wronged, I sucked up my pride and contacted her yesterday. I asked her to tell me what made her so mad on our trip. I told her that it was sad to end a 30 yr. friendship because a trip went sour. She really gave me no good reason and was not very receptive at all to my suggestion that we still be friends. I don't understand it at all. She is holding a grudge over something petty when we were doing a favor. We bent over backwards to make it an enjoyable trip for everyone, so I don't know what else we could do. All I can say is, I tried. The ball is now in her court.

[BONZO]

Well, you've done everything you can now. If she doesn't come back to you on this one, just put it out of mind and get on with life. It's too short to waste time on someone who is obviously harbouring bad feelings!

You've made your approach - so don't feel guilty!