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View Full Version : A long overdue THANK YOU!


pagehouse
01-23-2004, 06:50 PM
I come to you all in shame. Too much time has gone by and I really should have posted this sooner. We know you are all worried about us and we should have just dropped a line to let you know we are getting by.
I guess the reason I have not written sooner is I just don't know what to say. I'd like to say we are doing better, but that would be a lie. Living this life without Nate is the hardest thing we have ever had to do. We have been talking with grief counselors and trying to take baby steps along this path of despair. One of you told us that we are on a walk that only God can walk with us. I have thought about that so many times and have realized that it's very true. We cannot express how sad we are and it feels very alone, but I know God is taking each agonizing step with us.
There is a very real physical pain in our hearts and only time is going to heal that. My angle has been gone only one month today, and it seems that is not near enough time because I am still numb with grief.
I want to share something with all of you though. As you know, we held Nate's memorial service on Christmas Eve. It was our desire to have a very small, private service. But we were very saddened by the fact that out of both sides of our families, only 5 people came to the service. Of course some friends from here in Texas came, but from our family, only 5 people. There are close relatives that we still have not heard from. (Iíve really had to deal with my anger about that) But anyway, I tell you this so you will know just how much I mean it when I say your cards, emails and gifts mean the world to us. I cannot imagine how awful it would be if we didn't have all of you. I mean that. Knowing we have so many friends that care about us and are praying for us is just about all we have lifting us up. We will never forget your kindness and comfort in a time when we needed it most. I know some of you have made donations to the Wishing Well in Nateís honor. I have been trying to get my thank youís out, but let me also take this time to say it again. They gave us a wonderful thing and they need the help to give dreams to other kids. We are still receiving donations to Nateís trust fund. I thought I would let you know what we plan to do with that. There is a childrenís home for special needs kids here. Christy, Nateís hospice nurse has had a few kids there and she would just cry and cry after leaving them. It is a state funded institution, and she said they take good care of the kids, but there is just not much there for them. We want to buy some special gifts for the facility for the kids to enjoy. We would like to buy them a large screen TV because Christy said the kids have to spend a good deal of time watching television. Iím not sure if the trust fund will have the money to do that, but if not, we will come up with something else for them. I thought Nate would really like to be a part of that.
Last, thanks to a very dear friend, we went to Castaway Cay and Eric and I held a very private and heart warming memorial for Nate. We made a package of some of his things and we went out on the island by foot to an area we were not supposed to be in. (I hope I don't regret confessing that) We found the most beautiful and peaceful spot and we buried his things. We took a picture of the palm that we buried it under and it is now the background on our computer. So everyday when we sign on it comes up and I look and think, "Good morning sunshine." And I know I left his memory in a sunny beautiful place. This was such a healing experience. I will never be able to find the words to thank this person for making this happen.
So, next time you are in Castaway Cay, listen very carefully and you just might hear Nathan's laugh being carried on the wind.

NAT&MAGSMOM
01-23-2004, 06:58 PM
As I sit here with tears streaming down my face....

I didn't know of the situation with Nate until almost the end, because my computer was down...but I know he was a special little boy and loved by all...

All I can say to you is this...The heavenly choir of angels is sounding a lot sweeter today...

Thinking of you....
The Glass Family
Jim, Phyllis and Natalie

Hygiene99
01-23-2004, 06:59 PM
In our Hearts and In our Prayers............

Thank You Disney Angel..............................

Hannosmom
01-23-2004, 07:02 PM
Thank you so much for being a part of our lives. Just know that you are still in our thoughts and prayers.

A picture of Castaway Cay comes up on my computer every time I log on also, now I will think of Nate laughing every time I see it.

JLSE50
01-23-2004, 07:14 PM
Dear Chris and Eric,

No need to apologize for not being in touch. All of us who have lost someone special can understand the time needed before reaching out to do things like writing notes and posting on the DIS.

Some days are easier than others. Some minutes are easier than others. Even three years after losing my Dad I still have hard times. Add to that the special needs children who were my patients whom I have lost and some days, like today, are not easy to make it through.

Your package and Jim's picture on CC will never be forgotten.
Whenever I get to go again I would have imagined Nate in a lounge chair even without knowing those tangible reminders of him are on the island.

Just know that we all love and care for and about you. How are the boys doing?
May today be a good one,
hugs and tears, Jan

DreaminDisney
01-23-2004, 07:32 PM
Eric, Chris, Nash and Nick...

We're thinking of you and really do care. I wish we could somehow take some of your pain away because I can't imagine any greater pain than what you're going through right now.

Just know you have a lot of friends here and Nate will always have a place in our hearts.

Nathan will be missed by many and never forgotten.

Please call or email if there is anything we can do for you.

Hugs to all of you,

Deb and Dan

Woobie
01-23-2004, 07:35 PM
I'm so sorry! I haven't been on the site for a while, so I had no idea. Please know your family has touched so many lives, and we are better for knowing you all through this board. I wish I could have met you on the Sept., cruise. Please take care of yourselves!!

Woobie

Verandah Man
01-23-2004, 07:51 PM
Dear Eric and Chris,

Having gone through the experience that you are going through as parents, I remember all too well the ache and pain your heart feels these days. I'm not going to make it sound simple, but the pain does ease up a bit after time, although it will never completely go away, and I'm glad it doesn't, it's the only thing we have left of our two beautiful little girls.

I was happy to hear that both of you were able to get back to Castaway Cay and placed some of Nate's things there, a place where you all felt such peace.

Please know that Hazel and I think of you often and pray for you daily. Give the boys a hug from us, and tell Debbie we send our best.

Andy, Hazel, and Angelina

gonna go cruising
01-23-2004, 07:58 PM
Chris, you all never cease to amaze me. I know this time is hard, and will continue to be, but we are all here for you if you need us.

God bless your little angel Nate, and God bless your friend who made your memorial possible. Our hearts are with you all.

I imagine it is tough to come to this board but please know that your family gave us much more than we gave back.

snelsonbrown
01-23-2004, 08:30 PM
My dear Chris, Eric and boys,
I just wanted you all to know that both Norm and I have thought of you all so many times - I am so glad it was made possible for you both to get away and just have time for reflections - I have no doubt that whoever made it possible, just maybe, understood all your pains and all your efforts as parents to make every avenue possible for not only Nate, but the Nash and Nick as well -Our hearts and prayers are with each of you - I will never understand the family not attending, but know this - this entire board is family - each of you are loved, each of you are prayed for, each of you are in thoughts and prayers - We are here always for you - we are family and we represent love -
There is a saying " Nothing will happen today that God and I can't handle together" - and you each will.
Know that Norm and I do care -
Much love
Always
Shirley and Norm

jgalecpa
01-23-2004, 08:52 PM
Dear Chris, Eric and the boys,

No words. No words at all.

I just have no words.

Jim

PS If you could please post the trust fund and/or Hospice address, even publicly or through a PM, I would appreciate it.

currycook
01-23-2004, 09:12 PM
Please know that your feelings are completely normal at a time like this. I am a pastor and have to walk people throught this. Although I have never become acustom to it. But it is important to know your feelings are normal. Especially those feelings about the service and lack of "family" that came.

You time of Castaway was time well spent. I am so glad to hear you had that time.

Verandah man can give you more advice and counsel than any of us as he has walked that path. Listen to him and people like him.

I will continue to pray for you. It is all we can do. Seperated by much space, but connected by more than just cyber space, connected through a God that hears our prayers and answers them.

BALAMAV
01-23-2004, 10:43 PM
I haven't posted because I have never really known what to say. I have kept your family in my prayers. Just know how sorry I am. Your son even though I never met him has changed my life. I have follow from the beginning. I am so glad you got to go to CC both times. I will never forget the picture of Nate under that tree. We go in May. I will listen for his laughter. When you said that God was walking with you I remember the poem Footprints in the Sand. One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints. Other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life when I was suffering from anquish, sorrow, or defeat,I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, You promised me, Lord, that if I followed You, You would walk with me always. But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been on set of prints in the sand. Why, When I have needed you most, You have not been there for me? The Lord replied, The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, IS WHEN I CARRIED YOU. I hope this helps. This is my favorite poem. My prayers are with you always. Brenda

BALAMAV
01-23-2004, 10:46 PM
I am sorry my last post ran all together. I am new at the computer and could not figure out how to make a paragragh that would stick. When I copied the poem it looked like it should then when I posted it all ran together. Sorry Brenda

gdulaney
01-23-2004, 10:53 PM
Chris, Eric, and the boys...

All of you are in our prayers, each and every night.

Ginny and Andy

Disneyland_emily
01-24-2004, 12:44 AM
I have thought often of you and your family and hoped you are getting through this.

As a mom to angels I know all to well that long path you now find yourself on. It is not an easy path but it is one that with time becomes easier to travel. There will always be stones in the path- some come predictable with holidays and milestones but others will come unpredictable and those, atleast for me, are the hardest but over time they will become managable.

One site that helped me thorough is http://www.healingafterloss.org/ Its a good site to connect with people who share your pain.

Just remember you only have to be brave a minute at a time- Loosing a child is something no parent should have to face- and most don't. But for someof us it must be god's plan- even if we dont appreciate it...

-em

Donalds_best_pal
01-24-2004, 03:05 AM
Such a said sad thing to happen. I knew about Nate's condition but did not realize about what happened until just recently. I have been so busy with school and wonderful HW in 8th grade that I have not been on as much. I apoligize for just posting now. Please except my sincere condolences. May god bless you.
God Bless,
Matt

CRSNDSNY
01-24-2004, 07:36 AM
Originally posted by jgalecpa
If you could please post the trust fund and/or Hospice address, even publicly or through a PM, I would appreciate it.

Yes. Can you please post this?

God bless you Page family.

All our love and prayers,
Melody and Ernie

musicgirl
01-24-2004, 08:51 AM
Dear Pages,

Thank you for the update. You are all so important to us. Whenever I say a prayer, your family is included.

You never cease to amaze me. Here at this difficult time, you are worried about keeping in touch with us. And you're also using the trust fund to help others.

I can not imagine how hard your days must be. But I hope it helps just a little to know that Nate touched so many of us. I would bet that he touched more lives than any of us. I truly believe that God brought you to this board so that he could. He will be in my heart forever, of this I am sure. I know that when I'm on CC, I will be thinking of his sweet smile. For those of us on these boards, CC is even more magical since Nate was there.

May God bless you all and help you to heal. You know that you will always have faraway friends if you need a shoulder.

Lorie

disneygal58
01-24-2004, 07:52 PM
You are in my heart and thoughts daily.

May you find comfort,
Dawn Hope

tbuot
01-24-2004, 09:34 PM
May God give you peace and strength.

inkkognito
01-24-2004, 09:46 PM
What a touching email...I could feel my eyes getting moist as I read it and thought of Nate on Castaway Cay. I know how hard it must be, but I'm glad you have such special memories, and I'm sure that Angel Nate is smiling down right now.
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.*****************

4nana
01-25-2004, 12:52 AM
Dear Chris, Eric and family ~

Thank you very much for updating us, but there is no need for an apology. We all realize God has sent you the worst test of any parent's lifetime to endure.

It is so wonderful you were able to go back to CC and have a memorial for Nate. I love that picture of him on CC and how peaceful our little man looked. May God grant you and your family the love, faith and hope needed for each new day and may time help ease the painful heartache you feel. Please know that many keep your family in their prayers. I am so very sorry....

God Bless ^i^
~ Sandie

Planogirl
01-25-2004, 02:58 AM
You are so kind to think of others during such a painful time and I'm amazed that you would feel guilty about not sharing quickly enough. Please turn to each other and to others while you go through this healing process. You might even be able to help someone along the way and believe me, that can help too.

:hug:

Keoni
01-25-2004, 11:26 AM
Dear Chris, Eric and Family:

Oh my gosh! As many of us have said there is no need to apologize for anything, Chris.

The post was very touching and to know that Nate will be forever on our minds when we visit Castaway Cay is incredible. We all have shared a little of your pain and now are able to share some peace with you.

GOD Bless you and your family!

Keoni

pagehouse
01-25-2004, 11:50 AM
Memorials can be directed to:

The Nathan Page Trust Fund
c/o First Community Credit Union
15715 Manchester Road
Ellisville, MO 63011-2266


Thank you for asking for this information. I'm really excited about doing this for these kids. Their situation is so sad and I hope to be able to bring some joy to them. It just feels right to do this in Nate's honor. At first I had a hard time thinking about what to do for a memorial, people suggested donating to the church or planting trees. Those are great things, but I really tried to think what Nathan would want us to do. Then it hit me, he would want to try and help other special kids have as much joy as he had. Since Christy is a nurse to some of these kids and she was Nate's nurse, I thought it would be just right. Christy will help me to talk with the person in charge at the home and I will see exactly what the kids really want. I don't want to make a donation there, I want to give the kids something of their own from Nate.

Hope everyone is doing well, we are trying to get stronger everyday.

jlp651
01-25-2004, 12:29 PM
Speachless...
Thank you for letting us know you're ok

Mjasp
01-25-2004, 01:44 PM
Thank You for posting the address.

May you get through these times and may God Bless your family and every family that has lost a child. It is a pain I'm sure that never goes away. May your heart smile and sing with great memories of your son.

heart
01-25-2004, 01:52 PM
Regarding your family--the reason we pick our friends and not our family is that some people would never get picked!
;)

Maybe it was just too much for them--I know it was too much for you! You have HAD to bear it. I'm so sorry.

Wishing you all the best--all comfort to ease your hearts.

mickeyboat
01-25-2004, 02:37 PM
You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the update. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do. I can only imagine the grief you are facing. Know that you have a HUGE shoulder here with us.

Denae

Twinave
01-25-2004, 03:11 PM
Dear Chris, Thank you for your update, but please no apologies. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers daily.
:grouphug: :grouphug:
Ave'

moinab
01-25-2004, 05:58 PM
Chris, Eric, Nick, and Nash,

I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.

Although I followed your story from your first post, I haven't been on the boards the past 6 or 7 weeks due to personal issues (which seem so insignificant now.)

Nate touched us all so profoundly. He graced our lives for such a short time, but what grace it has been!

God be with you on your path to peace.

Maureen

Tandyc
01-25-2004, 10:59 PM
Thanks for the update. I have thought of your family so often. I really want you all to know



YOU ARE LOVED.



Yes I was yelling. I don't mean to offend anyone but I think knowing your family loves you (your Dis family) is the most important thing I can convey.

God Bless,

Tandy

minniemouse71
01-25-2004, 11:42 PM
I too would like to express my condolances to you and you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing Nate with everyone here. I pray that the blessings of the Lord will help you through this very tough time.
Vickie

abitjaded
01-26-2004, 08:59 AM
Dear Chris and all,

We were at Castaway Cay on the 15h of January. Don't know why, but Nate kept popping into my mind. I just knew somehow he was there.

Carla

Towncrier
01-26-2004, 10:25 AM
I continue to keep your family in my prayers. Thank you ever so much for updating us on this difficult journey that you are facing. Your angel made a positive difference in this overly negative world. I feel blessed having the opportunity to get to know him and your family, even if it was only through the DIS boards. Thank you for sharing your angel with us.

denise5374
01-26-2004, 11:57 AM
Dear Page Family,

I am at a loss for words. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless you!!

Love, Denise

KarenC
01-26-2004, 12:00 PM
Originally posted by pagehouse
[B]It just feels right to do this in Nate's honor. At first I had a hard time thinking about what to do for a memorial, people suggested donating to the church or planting trees. Those are great things, but I really tried to think what Nathan would want us to do. Then it hit me, he would want to try and help other special kids have as much joy as he had. B]

Chris,

Remember, God never sends us more than we can bare. But don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I'm sorry to hear your family isn't more supportive. Sometimes people are afraid to bring it up, like they're going to remind you of your pain, when it never really goes away.

My little sister died 22 years ago today. She had asthma and spent quite a bit of time in the hospital. My parents also had to decide what to do with the memorial contributions they received.

Like you, my folks wanted to do something for kids in circumstances like my sister's. They ended up buying Atari video games for the pediatrics floor at the hospital. At the time it seemed like a perfect way to honor her. She would have loved something to do while she lay in the hospital bed.

All these years later, we kind of regret that we didn't do something more lasting to honor my sister's memory. Eventually the Ataris stopped working and/or became obsolete and probably ended up in dumpsters. Absolutely go ahead and do something like a big screen TV that will bring joy to the special kids, but I'd encourage you to save some of the money to do something more permanent, that can say to the world "Nate was here".

All the rest of us kids in my family have gone on to have children of our own. When we go, the world will know that we were here because a part of us will live on in them. My sister, and little Nate, didn't get to leave part of themselves behind. In retrospect, I wish we'd taken the money to endow a scholarship in my sister's name. (Maybe a veranda upgrade fund at the wishing well foundation in honor of Nate?)

I hope I don't come off as being critical. I really do think it's wonderful what you are planning to do.

You and your family are in my prayers.

figment52
01-26-2004, 12:30 PM
Page Family -

I don't know that I can add anything to what has already been said. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

A friend of mine was going thru a difficult time and had a note posted to her computer... if HE has brought you to it, HE will bring you through it. It helped her, I hope it helps you.

I'll listen for Nate's laughter the next time I am on Castaway Cay.

God Bless you all.

pagehouse
01-26-2004, 08:39 PM
Karen-thanks for the ideas. And I see your point on the games. I guess though when you really think about it, what DOES last forever? For me, and the way I feel about Nate, it doesn't seem necessary to do something that will have a huge, profound impact on great amounts of people. Nate will be remembered by 1000's of people just by the way he touched their heart. He will live forever in my heart and in the hearts of his brothers and father.
As for the verandah upgrade, well the Wishing Well had never granted a cruise before and may not grant that many of them in the future. Plus, several of us have made donations to them already.
I don't think there is going to be enough money for a scholarship.
I guess when you get down to it, I feel like this, and I know this sounds bad, but...Eric and I feel so privileged to have been given Nate. We are better having known him. Unfortunately, in most cases the kids in the home weren't born to parents that felt that way. So, if I were Nate and I felt that I had been blessed being born into the home that I was, I would feel compelled to help kids like me that weren't so lucky. (that sounds bad I know)
So, I wonder if there would be something at the home that we could give the kids that would be more ever lasting. I'll check with the director.
Thanks again for making me think this over. I'm still not in an emotional state of mind that I am making any big decisions. I want to make sure it's right and not just what's right for now.

As for the family thing, I wish I were as eager to give them an excuse as you all are. The truth is I am both furious and devastated at the same time. To this day, a little more than a month later, they still have not even called us or sent a card. These are not distant relatives either. These are aunts, uncles, grandparents and so on. Our FAMILY! Close family! I think they are a bunch of jerks right now. But maybe I'll soften after awhile and just think they are heals!

Eric is going to put the pictures of Nate's palm on his webpage if anyone would like to see it. It might be a few more days though.

kasar
01-26-2004, 09:28 PM
Dear Page Family:

You cannot know how deeply and profoundly your family has touched the lives of everyone who passes by this site. We are honored to be witness to such grace and beauty.

I feel for your family because they have no idea of what they missed. There is something achingly beautiful and calming about saying goodbye to special people in our lives. It gives us a touchstone to return to when life becomes too tough or even when it becomes joyful. They will never know that peace which is a shame for them.

Thank you for passing along the kindnesses that you have felt. Nate's memory will live on in many ways.

JLSE50
01-26-2004, 10:51 PM
Originally posted by pagehouse
.....Nate will be remembered by 1000's of people just by the way he touched their hearts..... I guess when you get down to it, I feel like this, and I know this sounds bad, but...Eric and I feel so privileged to have been given Nate. We are better having known him. Unfortunately, in most cases the kids in the home weren't born to parents that felt that way. So, if I were Nate and I felt that I had been blessed being born into the home that I was, I would feel compelled to help kids like me that weren't so lucky. (that sounds bad I know)
Does not sound bad at all. Sounds well thought out and loving.

re: Family not coming to the funeral or contacting you since then: Some people just do not know what to say when a child is born with handicaps or when a child dies. I think they are the ones who are handicapped and they are the losers in the long run.

All of us who got to know Nate from these Boards are better for having known him.

May today be a good one and may you hear Nate's laughter in unexpected places.

Jan :earsgirl:

yourtravelpro
01-27-2004, 12:06 AM
Originally posted by pagehouse

As for the family thing, I wish I were as eager to give them an excuse as you all are. The truth is I am both furious and devastated at the same time. To this day, a little more than a month later, they still have not even called us or sent a card. These are not distant relatives either. These are aunts, uncles, grandparents and so on. Our FAMILY! Close family! I think they are a bunch of jerks right now. But maybe I'll soften after awhile and just think they are heals!



First, I'd like to offer my condolences. Nate was a beautiful child and so lucky to be born into a family who loves him so much!

Secondly, I'd like to address the family issue. I am so sorry. I am sitting here trying to understand and make excuses, but I can't think of one. You are all hurting so bad and family is supposed to all come together at a time like this. That includes aunts, uncles and grandparents. I can't imagine what their explanation could be? You almost have to feel sorry for them, because, it's true, they are the one with the handicap. Just know that your Disney family will be here for you, always!

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Tluvs2talk
01-27-2004, 12:29 AM
I have thought of you and your family often and have said prayers on your behalf. I will be on Castaway Cay In February and will be thinking of Nate, as well as my Mother who I lost February 9th 2003.


Teri

tammy bell
01-27-2004, 07:48 AM
Chris and Eric, I often think of the thread you wrote about Castaway Cay and how everything was just perfect for you there. How wonderful that you were able to leave something special there. I promise to listen for his laughter when I am there. Re: your family not coming to the funeral, Love is what makes us family, not blood. Rest in peace my angel, you will never be forgotten.

eye R.N.
01-27-2004, 08:09 AM
Dear Chris and Eric,

I have thought of you often these past weeks and was happy to for the update. Time will help, but it is hard to see that right now.

As for your family, let me pass on a piece of advice my father gave me. Your relatives have everything to do with genetics. Your friends have everything to do with your choices of how you live your life and who you share it with.

May the support of your friends help you deal with the family.

Let me know if there is anything I can do.

Love always
Denise

want2go2disney
01-27-2004, 01:05 PM
Thank you, Nate and Page Family, for reminding me to stop and take a look around. Sometimes, life moves too fast.... This is what Nate has reminded me.

My prayers are with you in your time of sadness.

AnnMorin
01-27-2004, 04:23 PM
The palm tree warms my heart :)
Thank you for posting the address,
and don't worry, when the time is right you will know EXACTLY what the correct thing to use the money for will be, Nate will let you know! Don't doubt your instincts, they are him speaking to you. Hang in there sweetie, celebrate life with your children, they are precious gifts just as Nate was. As for your "family" just let it go, if we could choose our family like we can choose our friends many more people would be happy. They are undeserving of you. Your true family resides right in your house, embrace them and forget those who can't be bothered , they are not worth your energy. Call me anytime you need to talk, hugs Ann

Kimnicki
01-27-2004, 04:49 PM
Chris,
What a wonderful thing you and Eric did with Nate's memories. Image how many people will now step off the ship at Castaway Cay and think of Nate when they see the palm trees. I know that he will be the first thing I think of.

Your family is in my thoughts all the time.

Kim

Towncrier
01-27-2004, 05:02 PM
I wanted to add a comment about your family. When I found out that my dad had colon cancer this past September, I wasn't sure how to react. I was scared for him. I prayed for him. I worried about his mental and physical well being.

But I didn't call him. I didn't email him. I didn't visit him, even when he went into the hospital for surgery. In fact, I didn't see or talk to him until he came to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. I just didn't know how to cope emotionally with his cancer.

Perhaps that makes me a monster. But I avoided my father in order to avoid facing my emotions.

Similarly when the wife of my former boss passed away suddenly this past month, I had several opportunities to go over to his home and talk with him. But I didn't. Again I prayed for him and for his family, but I didn't think that he needed an emotional basket case at his front doorstep while he was coping with his loss.

I am not trying to make excuses for your family. Perhaps they are just as confused as to what to do or say as I was when faced with such an emotional situation.

Just my 2 cents worth of armchair psychology.

dtuleya
01-27-2004, 06:33 PM
Page family -

I am truly sorry for your loss. A dear friend of mine went through something similar. Even though Nathan had such a short time on this Earth, his life has touched many. For that we are truly thankful! :grouphug: I'm sure that when many step foot on that magical island it will be remembered as Nathan's Cay.

tinkie
01-27-2004, 08:42 PM
First of all, please forgive me if this seems intrusive. I am completely new to this board and this is the first post I have read. I am sitting here crying like crazy. I have 3 boys of my own - even a 12 year old Nicholas! I simply cannot fathom the pain of losing your precious son. He is a beautiful boy. His little smile (in your journal pix) was so amazing.

I just wanted to let you know how touched I am by your thoughts, your courage, your strength.

I am so, so sorry that your family is having to endure this. I know that your little man is being tenderly and lovingly cared for by the ultimate parent, God, who gave him the biggest bear-hug ever upon his arrival in heaven!!!

I have a son who has some learning disabilities and one evening while I was in the car, by myself, I just began crying about it - giving into some sadness that I try to hide when my kids are about. Suddenly, it popped into my head - this thought - that seemed so clearly from God: "Don't you know that I love him even more than you do?" It was shocking to me. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way, but it gave me lots of comfort. I hope it will for you.

I will pray for you and your family. Don't ever forget that you will be with him again and that God is taking wonderful care of him in the meantime.:hug:

JLSE50
01-27-2004, 10:54 PM
Originally posted by tinkie
I have a son who has some learning disabilities and one evening while I was in the car, by myself, I just began crying about it - giving into some sadness that I try to hide when my kids are about. Suddenly, it popped into my head - this thought - that seemed so clearly from God: "Don't you know that I love him even more than you do?" It was shocking to me. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way, but it gave me lots of comfort. I hope it will for you.

That message was a wonderful comfort and help to me when the going was tough. I am glad others get it too.

Jan :earsgirl:

pagehouse
01-28-2004, 12:05 AM
tinkie-THANK YOU! I most certainly needed to be reminded of that. It is a comforting thought to (pretend) to go to sleep with tonight. Sleep is somewhat hard to come by these days. Infact, I am TIERD of trying to catch it. (O.K. that's a lame attempt at a joke.)
I do have to keep reminding myself that God does know exactly what it is like to lose a child. I'm sure he felt all the terrible sadness that we feel.

Family thing- I am working on the forgiveness that I know I need to have. Maybe it is still too soon. I just think it would be so much better to tell a person "hey, I don't know what you are going through, I don't know what to say to make it better, but I am here if you need me." To avoid a person when they are going through something like this just makes them feel more isolated and alone. Like it's not bad enough to have lost Nate, but we've somehow lost family too. Well, I think it is all part of the "Master Plan" God brought us to this board because he knew we would need you guys!

Verandah Man
01-28-2004, 05:32 AM
Chris and Eric,

What a beautiful photo, I know I will never, think of, or see, Castaway Cay, the same way, ever again. Thanks again for sharing your lives with us, and especially, one very remarkable, young man.

tinkie
01-28-2004, 10:53 AM
Chris,
I completely understand how hard it must be to deal with forgiving your family members. I am hoping that their lack of sensitivity is due to fear and grief and not mean-spiritedness. Forgiveness of a family member is the hardest thing; we expect so much more from them. My "big life experience" with forgiveness was dealing with my husband's infidelity and trying to repair our marriage. It wasn't a one-time declaration of "I forgive you!" boom, wiped away. It was a choice I made (I had to if we were to survive) each and every morning whether I felt like it or not. The lesson for me was how amazing God is to forgive us of our sins (time and time again) when it is so hard for me to forgive others. I don't see any other way to do it other than to pray and ask God to help you to forgive. To take the bitterness and sadness about it from you. He can and will carry that burden for you. I'm sorry for the additional sadness it has caused you. What a shame.

Anyway, I have to admit that it is very hard for me to respond to someone in the midst of their grief. I always am afraid I'll make it worse! I like this article that offers some practical tips to all of us on how to do it! I'll post it so maybe others can learn from it too! (can you add anything?) *maybe you could mail it to your family anonymously! :)

You Can Help A Grieving Heart

by Alice J. Wisler

"Oh, we talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. But the hardest part of parenting is the least often discussed. The roughest aspect of being a parent is losing a child.

Then we clam up. We don't want to hear. We are threatened. If her child died, mine could, too. What can we do when parenting goes beyond the normal expectations? "What do I say?" friends ask me with a look of agony in their eyes. "I feel so helpless.
I can't empathize, I haven't had a child die."

You can help. You don't have to stand there with a blank stare or excuse yourself from the conversation. You can be informed so that you will be able to reach out to a friend who has lost a child.

"Jump into the midst of things and do something," says Ronald Knapp author of the book, "Beyond Endurance: When A Child Dies." Traditionally there are the sympathy cards and hot casseroles brought over to the bereaved's home. But it doesn't end there. That is only the beginning of reaching out to your friend or relative who has recently experienced the death of a child at any age.

Here are 15 tips you can learn to make you an effective and compassionate friend to your friend in pain:
1. Listen. When you ask your friend, "How are you doing today?" wait to hear the answer.
2. Cry with her. She may cry also, but your tears don't make her cry. She cries when no one else is around and within her heart are the daily tears no one sees.
3. Don't use cliches. Avoid lines like, "It will get better." "Be grateful you have other children." "You're young, you can have another baby." "He was sick and it is good he is no longer suffering." There will never be a phrase invented that makes it all right that a child died.
4. Help with the care of the surviving children.Offer to take them to the park, your house for a meal, to church. Say "May I please take Billy to the park today? Is four okay with you?" Don't give the line, "If you need me, call me." Your bereaved friend may not feel comfortable with asking for help.
5. Say your friend's child's name. Even if she cries, these are tears that heal. Acknowledging that the child lived and has not been forgotten is a wonderful balm to a broken heart.
6. Give to the memorial fund. Find out what it is and give, today, next year and the next.
7. Some mothers start to collect items that bring comfort after a child dies; find out what it is your friend is collecting and buy one for her. My son liked watermelons and we have many stories of watermelons and him. Therefore my house now has assorted watermelon mementoes -- a tea pot, kitchen towel and soap dispenser. Many mothers find solace in rainbows, butterflies and angels.
8. Send a card (I'm thinking of you is fine) but stay away from sappy sympathy ones.
9. Go to the grave. Take flowers, a balloon or a toy. How honored your friend will be to see what you have left there the next time she visits the cemetery.
10. Don't use religion as a 'brush away' for pain.Stay clear of words that don't help like, "It was God's will."
11. Don't judge her. You don't know what she is going through each day, you can not know of the intense pain unless you have had a child die.
12. Stay in touch. Call to hear how she is coping. Suggest getting together, but if she isn't up for it, give her space.
13. Read a book on grief, focusing on the parts that give you ideas on how to be a source of comfort for your bereaved friend.
14. Know she has a hole in her heart, a missing piece due to the death of her child. Holes like these never heal so accept this truth and don't expect her to 'get over' this loss.
15. Remember that with the death of her child, a part of her died -- old beliefs, ideals, etc. Her life has been forever changed. Let her know your love for her as well as God's love for her is still the same.

Even as you participate in the suggestions above, you will still feel uncomfortable. It has been three years since the death of my four year-old, Daniel, and even now when I meet a newly-bereaved mother, I am uncomfortable. Talking of the untimely death of a child is never easy for anyone. However, avoiding reality does not bring healing. You will provide many gifts of comfort along the way when you actively decide to help your grieving friend. When my friends and family acknowledge all four or my children, the three on this earth and the one in Heaven, I am honored. Each time it is as though a ray of warm sunlight has touched my soul."


BIG HUGS! Tinkie
:grouphug:

WisconsinDisneyGirl
01-29-2004, 02:15 AM
I am new to the boards and just came across your post tonight. I went back and found all your posts and am up to speed. All I was looking for was information on a DCL cruise and I came across so much more!!!! My heart goes out to you and your family. You are in my prayers. I have come across may wonderful studies about "distance prayer" as I work with very ill patients myself. I believe in the power of "distance prayer" and the healing it can have on your broken heart. I am touched by so many of the postings on this site. God will always find a way to reach you! Even if it is through a web site devoted to Disney! I guess people who love Disney are children at heart at any age and have hearts of gold.

God is with you not to metion so may other people that you have never met or will ever have the chance to meet...

Cheryl N. WI
01-29-2004, 11:35 PM
Dear Page Family, I have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for a long time now and I will continue to do so for a long time to come. Thank you for keeping us updated and for posting the address for the memorial fund. I think doing something for the children is a wonderful idea! When my father and then my mother was dying of cancer and then for many days after my family had a common saying "take it 1 day at a time" and often I felt like I was taking it 1 hour at a time as I went through all the different emotions of grief. I feel my parents live on through us, their children, and even though we just recently passed the 8 year anniversary of my mothers death I have found myself thinking of her (and thus my father who died almost 26 years when I was only 14) very often lately and how I am very much like her and of how my parents are angels looking on us from heaven and hopefully helping to guide me to be a better parent. Nate has touched so many lives and will live on in you and your husband and boys. His memory and strength and joy for life will live on through the lives of those he has touhed here. Thank you for sharing him with all of us!! I will definitely be thinking of Nate when we are on Castaway Cay in Nov.

Cheryl

musicgirl
01-30-2004, 06:37 PM
Tinkie,

What a great post! For those of us who don't know what to say or do for fear of upsetting the family, the tips are very helpful.

I guess when it comes right down to it, for those "on the outside", it doesn't really matter how we feel. We can not possibly be hurting or grieving as much as the immediate family. What is important is to try, I would imagine that showing the family that you care for them in anyway will help in some way. To not acknowledge them because we are uncomfortable is worse.

To Chris, Eric and the boys,

I hope that somehow the family members who were not around to support you at this time, can realize that you needed and still do need them to help you through this. They need to find a way to start mending the fences that they broke. It is very unfair of them to add more stress into your lives at this time.

God bless you and my continued prayers, Lorie

trishy
01-30-2004, 06:50 PM
Thank you so much for taking the time to update us.

So, next time you are in Castaway Cay, listen very carefully and you just might hear Nathan's laugh being carried on the wind.

That is so beautiful! The photo is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that with us. What a beautiful way to honor the memory of such a special young man. Your family is an inspiration to us all. ::yes::

piglet33
02-01-2004, 03:24 PM
Thank you so much for posting this and know that your family is always thought about and prayed for.

2tinksmom
02-05-2004, 07:38 PM
Dear Page Family,
Thank you so much for sharing all you have with us and for letting us get to Nate and the rest of your family. You will never know the impact your story has had on others or how many people have been touched. I didn't know until today what had happened and my heart goes out to you.
You are in my prayers and those of my family. When we go to Castaway Cay, we will think of Nate.

The Hughes Family
Darren, Michele, Savannah, and Carson