View Full Version : How to handle comments...help

03-04-2003, 11:10 AM
This coming weekend I will be going to Graceland with one of my sisters, my Mom and my Dad. This is the first trip anywhere for my Mom and Dad.

The past 2 days my sister has made comments about my eating and exercising. I was asking if the hotel room had a fridge since I wanted to take yogurt to eat and that I really need to try to stay with my eating plan. She had a sarcastic attitude and told me to remember this is Mom and Dad's trip...which I took as who cares about you. Today I was trying to discuss with her the timing of our tours and dinner. She said she didn't want to do a tour till 11am. I told her that it conflicts with lunch since the tour is a minimum of 3hrs and that some hotels end continential breakfast early, so she may want to check. I told her it didn't matter to me since I would be up around 6am, can't sleep late in hotels, and would just go exercise. She then made a comment about getting a separate room from me, in her wonderful sarcastic attitude. She then told me she was kidding and I told her that sometimes her kidding goes too far and I have stress from work and don't need this right now. It ended with her hanging up and upset with me.

How do you handle comments individual's make? I think a lot of it has to do with stress at work, but it still bothers me.

03-04-2003, 11:20 AM
I just smile. But I must admit that sometimes I can get a bit obsessive about my diet and exercise planning and some of the people close to me get a little tired of it.

Take some legal snacks that don't need to be refigerated with you and if they insist on the 11am tour just smile, eat a substantial snack before you leave for the tour and try to enjoy yourself.

You do need to be a little flexible if it is your parents first trip anywhere. Since you get up so early you will have plenty of time to eat a really good breakfast before leaving the hotel. Carry your legal snacks with you and sneak off and eat them if you feel hungry. You can make it for a 3 hour tour, I think. (That sounded like something from Gilligan's Island, didn't it?)

Good luck with this, sweetie. I'm sure you will do just fine.

03-04-2003, 11:27 AM
Good luck!

I would personally tell my sister where she can go, if you know what I mean ;) But since you probably want to have a good trip, I would say go with the flow and just bring some snacks with you

03-04-2003, 11:34 AM
Based on your message, I would say your sister has some issues. Maybe she is under stress and maybe she is feeling guilty because she needs to watch her diet/exercise and is jealous that you seem have your's under control!!!

Anyway, it sounds like it is your sister with the attitude and I think you responded just right in letting her know that she hurt your feelings and that you aren't going to put up with her crap!

Having said that ... just take a small cooler with you to the hotel to keep your yogurts, etc. Most hotels have ice machines and you can put fresh ice in each morning and evening.

Consult everyone in the group as to when/what they want to do and then schedule your eating around that. If you are at a restaurant where they are all pigging out, you can just get a salad and/or something small -- just don't make a big deal about it; you won't be the first or the last to be dieting around others. No one can MAKE you go off your diet plan but yourself.

As far as your different schedules and the hotel room ... just have your clothes laid out the night before, so that you can get up and quietly dress in the bathroom before slipping out. Unless she is a light sleeper (doesn't sound like it), she won't even hear you.

Try to have a sense of humor and be low key ... remember it is your sister with the attitude -- no one can upset you without your permission!!

03-04-2003, 12:39 PM
Thanks for the advice. It was mainly her that upset me, not the timing of the meals...even though it is a concern since my body is so use to eating 6 times a day, I get very irritable when that time goes by and the sugar level begins to drop....just ask DH.

I just got back from a Bible study lunch group and feel better. I know I can get through the weekend...I just want to make sure I get through it and still have my sister as my friend at the end.

03-04-2003, 03:41 PM
It seems like your sister is jealous of you, and she sounds a little insecure if she has to make snippy comments to you.

The best thing you can do is just keep your plans about what you want to eat/snack on to yourself. That way you won't open yourself up to her comments. And if she does give you more attitude, just try to grin and bear it. If she doesn't get a reaction from you, maybe she will leave you alone.

It's not always easy, but that saying "Kill 'em with kindness" does work.

You go ahead and exercise when you want to! Enjoy your trip with your parents. My sister and I didn't get along at all for years, but now we are best friends. I was the one with the attitude and I had to really work on controlling it and turning it around so that I could develop a kind relationship with her. I hope your sister comes around and that you two end up having a great time together!!! If she starts to bug you, just try to tune her out. Leave the room or pick up a book. She will get the message.

It's hard to have a pillow fight if only one person picks up the pillow.


03-04-2003, 09:01 PM
I am the one person in my family that gets along with my sister, for the most part because I do bite my tongue a lot.

I called her tonight and she was a lot better about everything. She made the tour reservation early so we would be done by lunch time. I am making the dinner reservation, looks like I will be having a veggie delight sandwich on a whole wheat roll or a couple of sides since it is Lent. I was thinking of trying the peanut butter banana sandwich, but it will have too much fat since the bread is Texas toast and buttered.

03-04-2003, 09:58 PM
If it were my vacation, I would try the peanut butter banana sandwich and not even think twice about it. :p

03-04-2003, 10:41 PM
I have to transport my daughter regularly out of town to the doctors and have found a most wonderful tool! The Cooler! My sweet dh straps it down in my front seat and off i go without worry of meeting my needs. I bring apples, banana's, sandwiches, slimfast bars, pretezls, ff pringles, wow chips, you name it and most of all lots of water and he always put in a diet coke or two but i never seem to get around to those. He packs a 6 pack of 20oz waters and my goal is to have every last one gone be fore i pull up at home.LOL Needless to say i'm floating in water but it's a great day and i don't dread it or have to worry about my meals and i have variety at the tip of my hands. I just carry the 12 pack cooler and it's plenty for me you may want to pack yourselve on and then you'll be all set when you want something.