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View Full Version : Inheritance advice needed :(


joolz1910
08-26-2012, 07:01 AM
When my Mum died, she left her house to me and my brother. My brother doesn't want to sell the house (because he lives there) and I want to sell it because the money from the sale would (hopefully) pay my mortgage off.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? What did you do?

My brother isn't in a position to buy me out as he hasn't worked in 12 years.

lmbcdb
08-26-2012, 08:39 AM
He needs to pay you off or sell the house. He is getting use out of the inheritance you and you are not. Maybe you need to get some legal help?

joolz1910
08-26-2012, 09:15 AM
He needs to pay you off or sell the house. He is getting use out of the inheritance you and you are not. Maybe you need to get some legal help?

I am thinking that too. I have told him that I will not bring up the subject of selling the house for a few months to give him time to come to terms with it. He says that by selling the house, I will be making him homeless. He has lived rent-free with my parents for his entire life, so this is a reality check for him! He is 38.

lmbcdb
08-26-2012, 09:23 AM
I am thinking that too. I have told him that I will not bring up the subject of selling the house for a few months to give him time to come to terms with it. He says that by selling the house, I will be making him homeless. He has lived rent-free with my parents for his entire life, so this is a reality check for him! He is 38.

He hasn't worked in 12 years and lives rent free? How does he buy food and pay utilities?

You won't be leaving him homeless. He can take his share of the money and get an apartment and a job. Not your responsibility to take care of a 38 year old.

jen_uk
08-26-2012, 09:52 AM
I don't want to sound harsh but I think that at 38 your brother finally needs to grow up! He cannot expect to continue to live rent free, its amazing that he has managed to go so long in life doing so already. He needs to either sell the house or take out a mortgage and buy you out. Don't let him guilt trip you into letting him stay rent free. Hope you get it sorted :hug:

joolz1910
08-26-2012, 11:01 AM
He hasn't worked in 12 years and lives rent free? How does he buy food and pay utilities?

You won't be leaving him homeless. He can take his share of the money and get an apartment and a job. Not your responsibility to take care of a 38 year old.

He has never had to pay for anything - my Mum paid. He is starting to worry about paying bills because he is having to dip into his savings. We are so different. I left home at 18 and have ALWAYS stood on my own two feet, he has done the opposite. I think I will have to sue him to force the sale.

I don't want to sound harsh but I think that at 38 your brother finally needs to grow up! He cannot expect to continue to live rent free, its amazing that he has managed to go so long in life doing so already. He needs to either sell the house or take out a mortgage and buy you out. Don't let him guilt trip you into letting him stay rent free. Hope you get it sorted :hug:

You are not being harsh - my brother is a free-loader. He suffers from depression, so the whole family has always treated him with kid gloves. I worry that he will run the house into the ground. When my Mum died, he actually considered getting a cleaner. That is the level of idiocy I am dealing with lol.

queendisney
08-26-2012, 01:08 PM
Its all a legal mine field...you have to get legal help on this one. Surely his half of the house will buy him a flat somewhere, hopefully in walking distance to the job centre! Hope you get it sorted. Its a difficult situation for you though as its your brother. The thought that popped into my mind was if he starts paying the bills and running up debts are you legally responsible for half of them as it is legally half your house? :confused3

joolz1910
08-26-2012, 01:21 PM
Its all a legal mine field...you have to get legal help on this one. Surely his half of the house will buy him a flat somewhere, hopefully in walking distance to the job centre! Hope you get it sorted. Its a difficult situation for you though as its your brother. The thought that popped into my mind was if he starts paying the bills and running up debts are you legally responsible for half of them as it is legally half your house? :confused3

That is something I am worried about. There is a small mortgage on the property and my brother was thinking about borrowing on it. I contacted the building society and they said that he couldn't do that. Thank goodness.

I worry that he will run up debts, not pay bills etc. I told him that he could live off the money that our parents left him. His reply? Mum and Dad didn't leave that money so that I could pay bills!

I am giving him until the end of November as I want the house on the market in the new year. If he still stonewalls me, I will pay a solicitor to deal with it. I've seen this coming for many years, I always knew it would be inevitable:(

queendisney
08-26-2012, 01:54 PM
That is something I am worried about. There is a small mortgage on the property and my brother was thinking about borrowing on it. I contacted the building society and they said that he couldn't do that. Thank goodness.

I worry that he will run up debts, not pay bills etc. I told him that he could live off the money that our parents left him. His reply? Mum and Dad didn't leave that money so that I could pay bills!

I am giving him until the end of November as I want the house on the market in the new year. If he still stonewalls me, I will pay a solicitor to deal with it. I've seen this coming for many years, I always knew it would be inevitable:(

oh dear he really does need a reality check doesn't he. Its such a shame when it comes to this with a sibbling. I know what you mean about you could see it coming, we are going to have problems like that in the future too and I seem to be the only one that can see it..DH and his sister just won't approach their mum about her will...its gonna cost them (and me) a lot of heartache and money in the future.
I hope you brother sees sense by November but sort of think by what you've said that its not gonna happen...

joolz1910
08-26-2012, 02:18 PM
oh dear he really does need a reality check doesn't he. Its such a shame when it comes to this with a sibbling. I know what you mean about you could see it coming, we are going to have problems like that in the future too and I seem to be the only one that can see it..DH and his sister just won't approach their mum about her will...its gonna cost them (and me) a lot of heartache and money in the future.
I hope you brother sees sense by November but sort of think by what you've said that its not gonna happen...

By the time the house goes on the market in January, he will have lived there for 6 months - I think that's plenty of time for him to sort himself out. He hasn't even started looking for somewhere to live, so goodness knows what would happen if it sold quickly.:confused3

bazzanoid
08-26-2012, 03:04 PM
At the end of the day, in the nicest possible way, it's not your problem. The house was left to both of you, you are entitled to do what you like with your half. If that means selling then so be it, he cannot be allowed to simply live there for free as instead of living off your mum's money he's effectively living off yours!!!

His options are: Buy you out, or move out. From a legal point of view you can force the sale, he will be expected by the government to live off his savings, inheritance and house sale, it will be more than sufficient to find somewhere to rent. He can then apply for Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit to cover the majority of those costs but the total cash in the bank will affect what he gets, and rightly so. He needs to move on, move out and get a job like the rest of us adults.

:goodvibes

MrRomance
08-26-2012, 03:15 PM
Legally, he has no option but to buy you out or sell up. Morally, it's a different issue, but I don't see why you should feel in anyway guilty for wanting your share of the property.

I would assume that it will all need to go through probate and once that is settled you can force him to sell. The problem with that is that if he is living there, he'll do everything he can to put off any potential buyer.

It's a difficult situation for sure. Are you in a position to buy him out? That would be your best solution, to buy him out then sell the house and pay off the mortgage on your house and the inherited house.

cherjp
08-26-2012, 03:35 PM
make sure that all utility bills are changed to his name only , surely then he is liable for them. Get legal advise fast and dont mess around with him you can get the ball rolling now as these things usually end up costing you money and you dont want to waste time. What all the other posters have said is great advice , he is a freeloader and you need to make sure he sorts himself out.

sorry if this sounds harsh , :grouphug: to for having to deal with this.

disneychic2
08-26-2012, 03:45 PM
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mum. Adding to the heartbreak is your brother. If I were you, I wouldn't wait until November. Nothing is going to change by then. He'll just have burrowed in more deeply. I feel as others do that you should get legal council as soon as possible. He would definitely try to submarine a potential buyer. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck.:hug:

bazzanoid
08-26-2012, 04:00 PM
make sure that all utility bills are changed to his name only , surely then he is liable for them. Get legal advise fast and dont mess around with him you can get the ball rolling now as these things usually end up costing you money and you dont want to waste time. What all the other posters have said is great advice , he is a freeloader and you need to make sure he sorts himself out.

sorry if this sounds harsh , :grouphug: to for having to deal with this.

Precisely. Have you written to the council to tell them off your mum's death and that he is now the only resident there? Send that same letter to all the utility co's along with a copy of the death certificate, they will change the details immediately and he will be the only person responsible for the bills. A landlord is not responsible for their tenant's debts, after all, unless his/her name is on the bill as well. :thumbsup2

tennisfan
08-26-2012, 05:13 PM
Have you tried talking to the solicitor who has held the will for you mum? they should be able to give you some advice. Also remember you need to have probate in place before you can put the house on the market.

Its easier & cheaper to do yourself, its around 100 and you have to fill in the forms yourself rather then pay a solicitor to do it for you.

dolphingirl47
08-26-2012, 05:33 PM
I have only just got home from work and discussed this with my husband, who is a specialist probate lawyer. His first piece of advise was to get a solicitor local to you as soon as possible. He also said that you should start proceedings to quit straightaway as the longer you wait, the harder it will be to bring this to a resolution. Failure to act now could be seen as consent further down the line.

Corinna

joolz1910
08-27-2012, 04:56 AM
Thank you to everyone for their advice. This is what I have done so far:

I arranged probate, as I realised that we could save money doing it ourselves. We have an appointment to do this on Thursday.

I have insisted that he changed all of the utility bills into his name. I made it clear that he was responsible for all the bills while living there.

Once probate has been granted, the money left to us will be split 50/50. I will also see a solicitor to change the deeds of the house into our joint names.

We will need to decide whether to pay off the mortgage from our inheritance or pay it off once the house is sold.

I will give him until the end of November before I start the ball rolling. I know that nothing will change in that time. I suspect that he will feel even more 'entitled' to the house, which he insists on calling 'my home' to guilt trip me. I jst want to be reasonable, even if he isn't.

In November, I will get the property valued and start the process of clearing the house - which I am absolutely dreading. My Mum and Dad lived there fro 40 years. It is my childhood home.:sad2:

In January, the house WILL go on the market.

Ware Bears
08-27-2012, 11:11 AM
I really feel for you - it's hard enough losing a parent without this. :hug:

I think you should see a solicitor asap as Corinna recommended. Even if you don't want to set the ball rolling until November (which I can understand as you've got your holiday coming up and you don't want that spoiled by any of this) it'll mean your intentions will have been documented and dated by your solicitor in the event that any delay does cause a problem.

joolz1910
08-27-2012, 11:49 AM
I really feel for you - it's hard enough losing a parent without this. :hug:

I think you should see a solicitor asap as Corinna recommended. Even if you don't want to set the ball rolling until November (which I can understand as you've got your holiday coming up and you don't want that spoiled by any of this) it'll mean your intentions will have been documented and dated by your solicitor in the event that any delay does cause a problem.

Yes, I think I will have to. I think it will get very messy and unpleasant. I need to find out what my legal position is. I'm pretty certain I can force a sale but I wonder how difficult that will prove to do in practise.:confused3

dolphingirl47
08-27-2012, 01:40 PM
My husband seemed to think that eventually you will win, but he also warned that it could long, drawn out and messy. He also said that your brother may have a case as a dependent adult under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1975. You still would be able to get him out and force the sale eventually, but you may have to settle for less than half. This act is the main reason while you need to act right now.

joolz1910
08-27-2012, 02:39 PM
My husband seemed to think that eventually you will win, but he also warned that it could long, drawn out and messy. He also said that your brother may have a case as a dependent adult under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1975. You still would be able to get him out and force the sale eventually, but you may have to settle for less than half. This act is the main reason while you need to act right now.

Blimey, would he be classed as a dependant despite his age? I will contact the solicitor this week and find out what my options are. It does worry me that he has made my Mum's house his permanent address. Before Easter he was registered as living in London as a student (his 3rd attempt at getting a degree) and then he moved back home.

dolphingirl47
08-27-2012, 03:08 PM
Blimey, would he be classed as a dependant despite his age? I will contact the solicitor this week and find out what my options are. It does worry me that he has made my Mum's house his permanent address. Before Easter he was registered as living in London as a student (his 3rd attempt at getting a degree) and then he moved back home.

Apparently so. If the person in question was supported by the person who has died (which appears to be the case with your brother) and they feel that they inheritance does not provide for them adequately, then they may have a claim under this act. The age unfortunately does not come into this.

Corinna

joolz1910
08-27-2012, 03:42 PM
Apparently so. If the person in question was supported by the person who has died (which appears to be the case with your brother) and they feel that they inheritance does not provide for them adequately, then they may have a claim under this act. The age unfortunately does not come into this.

Corinna

That is awful.:mad: The only reason he can't support himself is because he refuses to get a job. I have worked hard my entire adult life and have been paying a mortgage for 20 years while he sat on his backside. Sorry, rant over.

I have had a look at the act and it seems to rest on adequate financial provision. I wonder what would be deemed 'adequate'? With the money he will inherit, he could buy a small property and he has substantial investments of his own too. Seems pretty adequate to me;)

Eliza32
08-27-2012, 04:04 PM
Not wishing to get too personal in discussing your circumstances, but you say that your brother has not worked in 12 years because he is depressed?

Does he get job seekers allowance, or incapacity benefit?? If he gets incapacity, then you may have a real fight on your hands because of the adult dependent issues. You need to move quickly with a solicitor, I certainly wouldn't wait until January to put the house on the market, I'd get the ball rolling now. Also,make sure he really has changed all of those bills into his name.....otherwise he'll get them paid out of the estate. As he's classed as a co-owner of the property, not a tennant, you could become part liable if he doesn't pay them.

joolz1910
08-28-2012, 02:47 AM
Not wishing to get too personal in discussing your circumstances, but you say that your brother has not worked in 12 years because he is depressed?

Does he get job seekers allowance, or incapacity benefit?? If he gets incapacity, then you may have a real fight on your hands because of the adult dependent issues. You need to move quickly with a solicitor, I certainly wouldn't wait until January to put the house on the market, I'd get the ball rolling now. Also,make sure he really has changed all of those bills into his name.....otherwise he'll get them paid out of the estate. As he's classed as a co-owner of the property, not a tennant, you could become part liable if he doesn't pay them.

He has never had to claim benefits because my Mum paid for everything. He looked into incapacity benefit last month but he isn't elligible because he has too much money in investments. He can't claim job-seekers as he isn't looking for work.

He did have some income over those 12 years as he wrote freelance articles for a while. He has not worked a 9-5 job since 1999. Depression isn't the reason he has no job - he just didn't want to work.

Tinkerbell1989
08-28-2012, 05:07 AM
I'll be honest Jules, I have no advice for you, but I just wanted to offer some hugs :grouphug: and hope that you get this all sorted. It sounds like an awful situation to be in.

Steffi xx

cornflake
08-28-2012, 05:18 AM
That is something I am worried about. There is a small mortgage on the property and my brother was thinking about borrowing on it. I contacted the building society and they said that he couldn't do that. Thank goodness.

I worry that he will run up debts, not pay bills etc. I told him that he could live off the money that our parents left him. His reply? Mum and Dad didn't leave that money so that I could pay bills!

I am giving him until the end of November as I want the house on the market in the new year. If he still stonewalls me, I will pay a solicitor to deal with it. I've seen this coming for many years, I always knew it would be inevitable:(

Perhaps he could be sent a legal letter informing him of your position - that you wish to sell your half in January or he's free to buy you out or whatever and that you'll begin proceedings in Nov. Maybe that'll give him a push and protect you some from any claim that you've accepted the situation?

The bolded reminded me of a woman on another forum who was complaining that she'd been turned down for food assistance benefits because, though she'd lost her job some time ago, she had large amounts in savings and investments.

She was completely livid, complaining about how was she meant to live without benefits or salary.

When people pointed out she had substantial savings, she was aghast that not only the forum but the government expected her to use her savings "to buy food!!" like that was a ludicrous notion.

joolz1910
08-28-2012, 05:35 AM
Perhaps he could be sent a legal letter informing him of your position - that you wish to sell your half in January or he's free to buy you out or whatever and that you'll begin proceedings in Nov. Maybe that'll give him a push and protect you some from any claim that you've accepted the situation?

The bolded reminded me of a woman on another forum who was complaining that she'd been turned down for food assistance benefits because, though she'd lost her job some time ago, she had large amounts in savings and investments.

She was completely livid, complaining about how was she meant to live without benefits or salary.

When people pointed out she had substantial savings, she was aghast that not only the forum but the government expected her to use her savings "to buy food!!" like that was a ludicrous notion.

That is exactly my brother's attitude! He said that his investments are for his retirement and he doesn't see why he should have to cash them in now. People who know me IRL can't believe we are related and are astounded by how he lives his life. He is adamant that he can't work, he won't cash in his investments, his inheritance is not 'for bills' and he isn't entitled to benefits. You couldn't make it up lol.

cornflake
08-29-2012, 03:01 AM
That is exactly my brother's attitude! He said that his investments are for his retirement and he doesn't see why he should have to cash them in now. People who know me IRL can't believe we are related and are astounded by how he lives his life. He is adamant that he can't work, he won't cash in his investments, his inheritance is not 'for bills' and he isn't entitled to benefits. You couldn't make it up lol.

Heh, he hasn't had a job in a dozen years, you say - what precisely is he planning to retire FROM? ;)

Yeah, I remember her because pretty much the entire forum went 'buh?' when she started with that her money wasn't meant to buy food and that obviously the government should give her benefits because it was ridiculous to expect her to spend the money she'd saved on things like that.

Quite indignant about it too, she was, and incensed people did not see her point or agree.

joolz1910
08-29-2012, 03:41 AM
Heh, he hasn't had a job in a dozen years, you say - what precisely is he planning to retire FROM? ;)

Yeah, I remember her because pretty much the entire forum went 'buh?' when she started with that her money wasn't meant to buy food and that obviously the government should give her benefits because it was ridiculous to expect her to spend the money she'd saved on things like that.

Quite indignant about it too, she was, and incensed people did not see her point or agree.

lol, perhaps my brother should shack up with her?;)
Unfortunately, if someone holds these views, you just can't reason with them. I have tried, god knows I have tried.:rotfl:

Kath2003
08-31-2012, 01:59 PM
I don't have any advice but just some thoughts. This is obviously a very awkward situation for you to be in.

I'm guessing that if your mother and brother lived in this house, it's a decent enough size. This could actually benefit your brother, as half of its value could be enough to put down a significant payment on a smaller, and therefore more financially manageable (bills etc.) property. He will undoubtedly have to gain employment (or spend up first) - unless he can convince someone that he unable to work - and after that long out of formal employment, the jobs that are initially available to him are going to be at the lower end of the pay scale. By living in a smaller property, he will be able to make ends meet. Right now, even if he got a job, would this be the case?

It's not much, but you are forcing him into a situation which should help him resolve the issues he has. Maybe one day he will thank you.

joolz1910
09-02-2012, 06:24 AM
It's not much, but you are forcing him into a situation which should help him resolve the issues he has. Maybe one day he will thank you.

This.:thumbsup2
A friend said that I am going to do what my parents should have done years ago. He is getting worse; not looking for a job, not looking for somewhere to live, getting up at 3pm etc.

His latest solution to his cash-flow problem is to write a book. Give me strength.:rolleyes2