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JoshAndEvsMom
06-23-2011, 12:57 AM
We just got back from a trip to WDW in April and were all excited to start planning for another trip in two years, 2013. Now that we have settled back into "real life" my DH has lost the magic and cringes when I mention Disney.

He automatically shuts down and says we can't afford it. How do I soften him to saving? I'm willing to really work at saving for the next two years. Any ideas from any of you Disney veterans? I want this to be a really memorable trip! Not one where DH is stressing about $$$ the whole time!

chris31997
06-23-2011, 01:06 AM
Try getting a change jug/jar and collect change. Some have even suggested single dollar bills.

We pay cash for alot of things, so when we have extra cash left over that goes into our vacation savings:goodvibes I don't tell hubby the amount cause I am the saver and he is the spender but he knows and is all good with it;)

Pre
06-23-2011, 01:35 AM
I'm going in 2013 to! I've made a plan to save $100 for Disney each month until I go. By the time my trip comes I'll be so happy because I saved that money instead of dumping all the money at one time.
To keep me happy about Disney Saving I've been saving change in belle coin banks!
Good luck with the saving and think every dollar saved can go to a Mickey ice cream!

Carina
06-23-2011, 02:08 AM
We just got back from a trip to WDW in April and were all excited to start planning for another trip in two years, 2013. Now that we have settled back into "real life" my DH has lost the magic and cringes when I mention Disney.

He automatically shuts down and says we can't afford it. How do I soften him to saving? I'm willing to really work at saving for the next two years. Any ideas from any of you Disney veterans? I want this to be a really memorable trip! Not one where DH is stressing about $$$ the whole time!

Don't mention it for awhile. Could he be cringeing at the thought of hearing you say "saving for disney" non stop for 2 years. 2 years is a LONG time

I ask because its like that at my house. My hubby knows what I am saving for - but he dosent want to hear about it. In fact he said when I have $5000 saved I can talk about it all I want but until then 'shush'

My son has caught on and now says " when we go to "Blank World".... "

I would suggest QUIETLY start saving for Disney - and when you have more than 1/2 the money tucked away - then bring it up ( see we can afford it)

- by quietly I don't mean secretly, I just mean do you really need to say what your coin jar is for? Or call it a more generic 'Vacation Fund'

marcemc
06-23-2011, 02:16 AM
We just got back from a trip to WDW in April and were all excited to start planning for another trip in two years, 2013. Now that we have settled back into "real life" my DH has lost the magic and cringes when I mention Disney.

He automatically shuts down and says we can't afford it. How do I soften him to saving? I'm willing to really work at saving for the next two years. Any ideas from any of you Disney veterans? I want this to be a really memorable trip! Not one where DH is stressing about $$$ the whole time!

Maybe he has a Disney overload & just needs a break from the whole thing. My DH loves to go but he is not like me, he doesn't talk about it everyday, he doesn't daydream about, or spends hours in this board....:rolleyes1

Start saving on the side & next time you hear about a good promotion (free dining, kids stay for free, etc) bring it up again & see how he reacts.

Maybe he feels like it's his turn to pick a vacation spot? :confused3 not everyone is Disney crazy like us :lmao:

Good luck!

Cin
06-23-2011, 06:13 AM
I have the credit union take it out of my paycheck for my Disney trip. I also have hubby give me a small amount of his check every payday for "vacation". I stick every available dollar in my Disney fund too (birthday money, Christmas money. etc.) Hubby knows I still have my Christmas money banked for WDW. Sometimes I will get $20 cash back at the grocery store and then stash it in my Disney fund. I am not allowed to mention "Disney" but it is a given that is my destination of choice. I have an itinerary written out with costs broken down for our next trip tentatively scheduled for Nov 2012 posted on our bulletin board. I can't go every year though (gotta do his destinations too), not yet, so I have to do his choice of trips for a while and then I can get another Disney vacay!

ssawka
06-23-2011, 07:17 AM
It might be an ego thing. It could be that he knows how much you enjoyed it and wishes he could just take you without having to save. When you mention saving for Disney, it is a constant reminder that you cannot just go whenever you want to and that you have to work really hard to afford the trip. Things like that really bother us men because we judge ourself based on how good of a provider we are.

tweedlemom
06-23-2011, 08:00 AM
Simply putting $20 away every week will give you over $2000 for your trip 2 years from now. :thumbsup2

puffkin
06-23-2011, 08:33 AM
I budget $100/week for groceries which for my family is very generous. I also use a lot of coupons. Most weeks I don't come anywhere near that $100 so I try to buy a $25 Disney gift card every time I have the extra money. Some weeks I am even able to get the $50 card!!! It adds up fast :goodvibes

eliza61
06-23-2011, 08:58 AM
Maybe he has a Disney overload & just needs a break from the whole thing. My DH loves to go but he is not like me, he doesn't talk about it everyday, he doesn't daydream about, or spends hours in this board....:rolleyes1

Start saving on the side & next time you hear about a good promotion (free dining, kids stay for free, etc) bring it up again & see how he reacts.

Maybe he feels like it's his turn to pick a vacation spot? :confused3 not everyone is Disney crazy like us :lmao:

Good luck!

:thumbsup2 Great post!

Op, why not say you are simply saving for a big vacation. You don't have to commit to a spot just yet. He just got back from a disney vacation so he may want to try some thing new. Back off a little and just say let's save for another vacation.

kkmcan
06-23-2011, 09:08 AM
Save quietly. I started saving any xmas money I received plus my birthday money. I didn't talk about it too much though. He knew what it was for but I didn't make a big thing out it. Then I'd add whatever extra dollars I had in my wallet and it started to build. After every DL trip that jar is empty but as soon as I get a few more dollars it goes in the jar and we start saving again for Disney.

It's been this way for a few years now and now DH offers his "found" money to add to the jar. Things such as reimbursements from work, poker game winnings, birthday money etc.:thumbsup2

Lately we have been saving for annual passes for DL. I had $800 in cash in the jar + I had saved $450 in Disney Visa Reward dollars. We bought the passes the day before the ticket price increase 2 weeks ago and now the jar is empty again. The rest of our Oct trip is just gas and food (hotel is inlaws timeshare) so we are set for our next trip.:banana:

Jennifer in MI
06-23-2011, 09:11 AM
:

Op, why not say you are simply saving for a big vacation. You don't have to commit to a spot just yet. He just got back from a disney vacation so he may want to try some thing new. Back off a little and just say let's save for another vacation.

I like this idea. I know when my husband has just left Disney, it is often the BEST time to talk about another vacation there because the Pixie Dust is still on his hair! LOL But, maybe he's not like that.

Sit down and talk about how much fun you have traveling as a family and talk about places he'd like to go. Commit to a budget and find ways to make it work.

I do all sorts of things to get money for our trips. I try to squeeze money out of our normal budget so I don't feel like I'm actually paying for the trip. KWIM?

1. Call ALL of your providers - insurance, cable, cell phone, etc. Ask about getting cheaper rates. We did that and saved $250/month! I stuck the extra into a separate account just for vacation.

2. I book the vacation WAY in advance and make payments on it each month. It's usually around $200/month, which for us, is very do-able.

3. Change jar. Start NOW! ANY found coins get put in there. Occasionally, if I've had a bill in my purse for longer than a week, I stick it in the jar.

4. Collect returnable cans. In our state they're 10 cents each. We take them in and make about $100/year. That money goes directly into our change jar. (The change jar usually nets around $450 for our trips - so, this obviously works for us!)

5. I do Swagbucks and redeem them for Amazon gift cards. I take the money I saved and stick it into the vacation bank account.

6. I have a budget for our groceries and electric/gas bills. Anytime I'm below them, I stick the extra into that vacation account.

There's more. But, that's where we get the majority of our vacation money!!

GinnyEmma
06-23-2011, 09:18 AM
:thumbsup2 Great post!

Op, why not say you are simply saving for a big vacation. You don't have to commit to a spot just yet. He just got back from a disney vacation so he may want to try some thing new. Back off a little and just say let's save for another vacation.

You might even let him have some say on the "family" vacation. Maybe he wants to go elsewhere.

DawnM
06-23-2011, 09:42 AM
We have always just used part of our tax return and/or DH's bonus to pay for vacations, whether they were Disney or not.

Does he want to go anywhere? Or does he want no vacation for the next couple of years?

Dawn

miralys
06-23-2011, 09:46 AM
I have found it is hard to get people to save if it is not a goal they are enthusiastic about. I agree with other posters; instead of calling it a Disney fund, call it a vaction fund or family bonding fund or whatever.

Also I know people who say "We can't afford x item" when what they really mean is "I don't want x item" but think that blaming the lack thereof on finances will go over more smoothly.

PrincessSuzanne
06-23-2011, 11:48 AM
I handle the finances in our house, DH never sees his paycheck, so I just budget what we need and move it from his checking to a savings acct each week. I also make contributions from my paycheck as well, but not as regularly as I do from his. He gets paid weekly, so every couple of months, I am able to put a whole check away for saving adn our trip budget.

We also have a change jar, which he will dip into for change, because neither of us ever carry's any cash.

We drink alot of canned drinks, so we save the empty cans and recycle them for money, you don't get much, but it is better than nothing.

Suzanne

furb & dez
06-23-2011, 11:53 AM
I agree with other posters... stop mentioning it, just put the money away yourself.

Further: It's surprising how many people don't understand this, but nagging is the most unsexy, uninviting, unflattering thing you can do to your spouse. Even the sexiest, funniest, mad-about-you, can't-imagine-life-without-you spouse can be turned into a shrieking, nagging, harpy-like shrew with continued nagging. STOP IT! (What's the bumper sticker? "No matter how hot the girl, some guy out there is tired of her s***")

Some people don't like to plan every detail of a vacation for the next two years. Give him and break and deal with it. It could be that when you do things like this, you make the vacation all about you, and perhaps he resents that. Maybe he's worried about money and doesn't want to think about vacations at this time.

See, there's a lot that could be going on here. Give it a rest.

Glenn
06-23-2011, 01:25 PM
Besides thinking about how to save money remember what your last trip was like. Some feel like they have to do a ton of sit down or character meals, special expensive activities. Sit down with hubby to see what he thinks. What did he enjoy, what he felt was too expensive. How about giving all of us and idea what you did on your last trip so the board can make suggestions to your budget. Also look at mousesavers for ideas. Good luck both on savings and planning a budget that both of you will feel comfortable with.

PHXscuba
06-23-2011, 06:26 PM
Check out Couponing to Disney (http://www.couponingtodisney.com/). It's a great money-saver blog by a very nice woman who wanted to go to Disney World more often without having to take money out of their regular paychecks, bonuses, etc. Her goal is to pay for her trips with "found money" -- couponing savings, survey earnings, buying on clearance/sale.

I have the same philosophy. DH goes around in a "money circle" where sometimes he thinks we can buy anything, and sometimes he wants to hoard every cent and hunker down. I simply smile through the panic attacks, and when I have a good amount of money saved, then I go to him and say, "I've already saved X for the (whatever) trip. With only this-much more, we can go." When I tell DH how much I've managed to save without it impacting our lifestyle or him giving anything up, I think he also understands how much it means for me to work my "magic" to get us there.

I think PPs ideas for calling it "saving for our next big vacation" are spot-on, as well as silently saving on your own.

PHXscuba

timmac
06-23-2011, 06:30 PM
Coming from the perspective of sometimes having this same feeling when talking with DGF about larger expenditures that may occur at some point down the road, it could simply be that he just doesn't want to keep hearing about it.

He may have enjoyed the trip very much, but the overall price tag is probably rather overwhelming to him, and hearing about it is probably a stressor.

I like the suggestion about quietly (not secretly) working on saving slowly.

JoshAndEvsMom
06-23-2011, 06:55 PM
It might be an ego thing. It could be that he knows how much you enjoyed it and wishes he could just take you without having to save. When you mention saving for Disney, it is a constant reminder that you cannot just go whenever you want to and that you have to work really hard to afford the trip. Things like that really bother us men because we judge ourself based on how good of a provider we are.

Oh my goodness. I have absolutely never thought of this! And it completely breaks my heart! I don't want my husband to feel this way. Should I "quietly" save, like others suggest, so I'm not throwing it in his face? Or do you think it would make it worse?

Thanks for your input! Its nice to have a man's perspective!

JoshAndEvsMom
06-23-2011, 06:59 PM
Check out Couponing to Disney (http://www.couponingtodisney.com/). It's a great money-saver blog by a very nice woman who wanted to go to Disney World more often without having to take money out of their regular paychecks, bonuses, etc. Her goal is to pay for her trips with "found money" -- couponing savings, survey earnings, buying on clearance/sale.

I have the same philosophy. DH goes around in a "money circle" where sometimes he thinks we can buy anything, and sometimes he wants to hoard every cent and hunker down. I simply smile through the panic attacks, and when I have a good amount of money saved, then I go to him and say, "I've already saved X for the (whatever) trip. With only this-much more, we can go." When I tell DH how much I've managed to save without it impacting our lifestyle or him giving anything up, I think he also understands how much it means for me to work my "magic" to get us there.

I think PPs ideas for calling it "saving for our next big vacation" are spot-on, as well as silently saving on your own.

PHXscuba

Yes! Love that site! I'm trying to teach myself to coupon!:thumbsup2

JoshAndEvsMom
06-23-2011, 07:37 PM
Besides thinking about how to save money remember what your last trip was like. Some feel like they have to do a ton of sit down or character meals, special expensive activities. Sit down with hubby to see what he thinks. What did he enjoy, what he felt was too expensive. How about giving all of us and idea what you did on your last trip so the board can make suggestions to your budget. Also look at mousesavers for ideas. Good luck both on savings and planning a budget that both of you will feel comfortable with.

Its actually kind of funny because when I think back on our trip there were a lot of variables which made it a stressful trip. Like I said, we ALL had a great time, even DH says it was amazing but it definately wasn't "typical."

1. My DH is a high school band teacher so the trip was actually for the band! So not only was he husband & dad, he was WORKING too! Responsible for 61 band students!

2. It was his first trip to WDW and we brought our DS4 & 10mo DD. Again, amazing with little ones but a totally different ballgame when dealing with strollers, breastfeeding, naps, etc.

3. My mom came with us to help out. My mom is great but let me put it this way: 3 adults, one child, 1 infant in 1 standard room at All Star Music... Get the drift?

4. We were really lucky becase he and I were paid for as staff members. We only had to pay for my son & mom's park tickets and our food. We didn't do a lot of extras. 2 TS meals, including Chef Mickey's, pre-paid photo pass cd, $100 in Disney gift cards so we would't overspend on souvenir money.

So what do you think? Is it the $$$ or the stress of the last trip? The next one would be as a family but with his 2 sisters and their families. 12 people total, 6 kids under 6years! :rotfl:

Carina
06-23-2011, 08:14 PM
I still think its the not wanting to hear disney this disney that for 2 years.

Its why I have been told I am not allowed to mention it till I hit $5000

PLus - Maybe he would want the next one to be just your immediate family

carebee21
06-23-2011, 08:16 PM
Oh my goodness. I have absolutely never thought of this! And it completely breaks my heart! I don't want my husband to feel this way. Should I "quietly" save, like others suggest, so I'm not throwing it in his face? Or do you think it would make it worse?

Thanks for your input! Its nice to have a man's perspective!

I would never "save quietly." My DH would be pretty ticked off if I started saving from our money for something that I wanted or though was important without asking for his input... It's both of your money and you should both be on the same page as far as spending and saving it. I think this is a good opportunity for you and DH to sit down and discuss why he thinks you can't afford it and why you think you can. Maybe in his mind he's thinking that in two years you'll need a bigger house, new car, more money toward retirement fund, or something else that will change or alter your budget. Or maybe a vacation or a Disney vacation is just not on his priority list. I would figure out what his thinking is, and then see if you two can come to an agreement on a monthly vacation savings amount if vacations are that important to you and from there, determine where to go. Or come to the agreement that if you can reduce the bills/grocery budget, etc by $100/month or raise $100/month by babysitting, ebaying items, etc, that amount goes into a vacation fund.

JoshAndEvsMom
06-23-2011, 08:40 PM
The other part, which is why I am so confused in the first place is that it was HE who suggested the second Disney trip AND invited his sisters!

I've only mentioned it twice and only because he got our niece all excited so I thought he was serious. I backed way WAY off when I was met with resistance.

Thanks for all your advice! Keep it commin':goodvibes

*Seanaci*
06-23-2011, 08:42 PM
Drop the subject of Disney...for now.

But save quietly.

And then next year...call a family meeting and starting planning your next family vacation...be it Disney or something else. :D

PrincessSuzanne
06-23-2011, 08:56 PM
My husband would take me in for a psych eval if I wasn't planning a Disney trip, but he loves Disney as much as I do and is happy he doesn't have to do the planning. I think he'd divorce me if I wanted to wait 2 years between trips.

Op, I don't really know how to handle your situation. I wouldn't do anything behind his back, but I might not mention Disney for awhile.

Suzanne

Carina
06-23-2011, 10:47 PM
I would never "save quietly." My DH would be pretty ticked off if I started saving from our money for something that I wanted or though was important without asking for his input...

I don't think quietly and secretly are not the same thing - I dont need my hubbys permission to put coins in a jar or put money away from something of mine I sold ( consigning clothes comes to mind)

Although I dont talk about Disney my husband does not wonder what that big water bottle full of coins in the dining room is for.... he even puts coins in it once in awhile.:lovestruc

nrpofp
06-23-2011, 11:37 PM
My dh does not save for vacations I do. I put money from each paycheck into a savings account. My dh saves for the things he likes. He loves going on vacations, but I don't know that he would save for disney. We both work and are pretty independent and responsible with are savings. He would never say no to anything I have worked for and saved the money for. I will work extra shifts for our luxuries, and he nows better than to complain. He enjoys the fruits of my labor.

mistymouse5001
06-23-2011, 11:40 PM
:wizard: good luck! :goodvibes

Taja
06-24-2011, 07:16 PM
Lots of good ideas and thoughts.

I suggest the dreaded "B" word. Make a monthly budget with your DH. Not a stressfull budget, but one that considers monthly net income and fixed and variable expenses.

Add a line item for "Vacation". You don't need to decide it is for WDW at this time. You don't know what will happen between now and the time you might be able to return to WDW. But you'll have the money saved for what the two of you agree would be a wonderful family holiday at that point in time.

And both of you will be on the same page!

shalom
06-25-2011, 04:11 PM
3. My mom came with us to help out. My mom is great but let me put it this way: 3 adults, one child, 1 infant in 1 standard room at All Star Music... Get the drift?

This would be enough to make my husband hesitate to go again. :rotfl:

Have you considered off-site? Some times of the year you can get a 2 BR condo for the cost of a room at a Value resort, and with a crew like you're planning on one of the houses off-site might be a real benefit, especially if not everyone ends up wanting to spend all day in the parks. :)

I'm in the same boat. Normally we travel very cheaply and I cook all our meals. Which I'm sure is one of the reasons I like Disney -- I eat out there! :rotfl: But the reason we normally go so cheap is he won't save for vacations (or for much of anything except a retirement plan), and I hate going into debt for a good time. :sad2: So I'm finding this thread very helpful. :thumbsup2