I Think I'm Doing The Right Thing In Cancelling Our November Trip

[Wish Upon A Star]

I am completely heartbroken . . . .seems like I'll never get to see Disney at Xmas time :(

We are supposed to go November 30 - December 7 but with DD being in 8th Grade and with all the homework she's had since the start of school, it wouldn't be fair to her to pull her out for a week and expect her to catch right up with the class.

I've never seen so much homework! She has homework in most of her subjects nightly, plus quizzes/tests every week . . .it's almost like they are preparing these kids for college . . .I don't ever remember getting that much work! I've seen her get very frustrated with the amount of work and I think to myself how wrong it would be to do this to her. She's an average student and if we went I'm afraid she'd slide right down the grade chart.

I never thought it would be like this . . .I thought it would be easy to take her out for a week and not have any problems . . .maybe I'm wrong . . .

DS on the other hand is only in 4th grade and he would have no problem with missed work . . .

What does everyone think?

[Feralpeg]

We had reservations for the second week of December. I ended up cancelling them. My DD is in the 9th grade and they have mid-terms in December.

I know what you mean about the homework. My DD has always had an incredible amount of work. This year, she is taking challenge classes and is absolutely swamped with "special projects".

There is definately a different emphasis on things since I was her age. When we enrolled her for the 9th grade, we had to specify what her career choice will be (like they really know at this age) and what colleges she wants to attend. We had to lay out her schedule through her senior year. They now have four types of diplomas. You pick which one you want to go after based on what type of college you want to get into.

It seems like we are pushing these kids really hard, but it is so competive out there!

Sorry you are going to miss your trip!

[TiggerPiglet]

I know it's hard to take them out of school when they get older. We've taken our DD out of school in Kindergarten and 1st grade. She is now in second and we're struggling about whether or not to take her out again. So with your DD being in the 8th grade, you made the right decision about not taking her out. There's so much pressure on kids today with school work, plus schools frown upon taking them out for vacation.
Sorry you'll be missing your trip.

[kinlaw6450]

My parents always took us out of school for Disney trips. We were required to take all of the trips worth of homework and classwork along. I can remember distinctly two trips. One sitting on the balcony of the Contemporary doing homework one morning and another sitting at a picnic table at Ft. Wilderness.

Would that be a possibility??

[disneyjunkie]

I also had to cancel our trip.:( We were going Nov.26- Dec.2. I was really looking forward to doing all of the Christmas stuff. No matter how I look at it, I can't justify taking my son out of school just to go to Disney.

He's in the 6th grade. The amount of work he has had is amazing. The first 3 periods on Wednesday is set aside for testing. If they are out on a Wednesday, they have to make the test up during lunch/recess when they return to school. They are not allowed to make the test up during regular class time because then they'll miss that lesson. Of course I had planned to be in Animal Kingdom the day before Thanksgiving.
Science Fair project is due the Monday after Thanksgiving.

I'm starting to cancel my PSs. I've changed the trip to Easter. We won't get to see the Christmas decorations, and any of 100 years of Magic things, but son won't fall behind in school.

I was really looking forward to the Share a Dream parade and the parade at AK.:(

Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing.

[WDW2002]

My DD's are in 6th & 4th this will be the last time I take them out of school for Disney. They are going to miss the 2 weeks before Christmas Break so they will have the two weeks to play catch up.

[Lucky4me]

6th grade was the last time I pulled them out. The work load is just staggering for these kids. I suppose if it were a straight A student who did not need to study for those A's, it wouldn't be a problem, but all my kids needed those study hours....

I think you did the right thing.

[Dan Murphy]

The kids come first, you guys are doing right. :sunny:

[emmagata]

Sounds more like Boot Camp.


I've read articles in the newspaper about the kids having so much homework that the parents are starting to complain. Some parents said that their kids were getting between 2 and 4 hours of homework each night. That's WAY too much. Kids need a break from the daily grind just like adults do. Looks to me like they're trying to cram too much in. Come on, these are kids! It's not like their in Med School!!

BTW, we don't have any kids and this is just my opinion.

But if we did, I know that I'd be calling the school and complain.

[Pin Wizard]

DS is in 4th grade. It's normal for him to have 3 or 4 tests in a week. And on some days they have 2 tests. :(

[Kitty 34]

That's the main reason we'll never make it to a DIS CON. My boys are in 10th and 7th and they'd be making up homework for a MONTH after if we took them during school!!!:(

The last two years we have flown to Disney literally on the day school gets out......great way to start summer vacation!:cool: :bounce:

[bfeller]

You are doing the right thing. Your children and their education come first. As they get older the demands on their study time are greater and it would be very hard on them(and you) to make up all the extra work and stay current in their classes.

[crazyme5kids]

I know I am the minority here, but I have , would and will continue to take my children out of school for trips. I am 42 years old, the youngest of 4 and all of us still talk about and laugh about our memories of vacations. I can't say the same of school. Yes school is important, but so is family. I think we are losing some of our quality time as a family these days, because we let everything else from school to sports activities etc... dictate our lives. I am guilty of it too. I can't tell you how many times I have said no we can't do that because they have baseball, Etc... We all miss out on special moments together. My daughter is not an A student, but she is very special to me, so I will let her have a trip. She learns that life is often a trade off. She must do and make up the work and test. Is it difficult? Yes, sometimes. Is it worth it? Definitly! 30 years from now my kids aren't going to be complaining about how horrible it was to make up the school work, they will be laughing and remembering a special time with family. To me this is putting my kids first.

[Serena]

My girls have had a ton of homework since 5th grade. They go to school all day and they do homework most of the night. And people ask why kids don't get enough exercise.

I'm sorry you are having to make this decision.

[Cindy B]

My son has one to two tests a week and he is in second grade.

Your original post said it was like they are prepping them for college, they are!

I am a younger mom, 31, and what my sons has learned in first and second grade, I didn't learn until 4th grade or so. So if you apply the "two years ahead" principle, your 9th grader is doing what could have been taught in 11th grade..

This is subjective but it may work in your situation.

You are doing the right thing by cancelling. The education is important, and the building blocks.

Yes, the work can be made up, and yes, my sons teacher even mentioned trips to Disney in back to school night. He stated that he can only give work up to a week in advance, but the things they will miss hands on, could prove challenging.

[believe]

This is our last year for going in December, unless we go over Christmas break. DD#1 starts Kindergarten next year and we have decided that taking her out of school will not be an option.

[crazyme5kids]

Just wanted to add one more thing after my long winded post LOL! When my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, my sister wanted to make abook up for them with memories from family and friends. Everyone wrote a letter to my parents sharing thoughts and memories with them. Out of all 4 of us (their children), not knowing what the other was going to write, we all wrote about our vacation memories. My mother laughed when she saw that, she said she didn't realize how important and how much those trips meant to us! They truely are some of my fondest memories. My grandmother who turns 96 in Nov. still talks about trips taken as a child. Just some food for thought folks!

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I have not been pulled out of school for a vacation since 7th grade when I started at my present school.
I'm a senior now and I wanted to do a Presidential Classroom program in DC...the one i really wanted to do was not during my spring break so I had to request the one during my break.
I could not miss a week of school.
I'm homesick today.....and this is like horrible because I will get behind.

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

We have reservations for mid Dec and for late May, after school is out. I think I am cancelling Dec for the same reason! We went last year and got to see the Christmas stuff anyway. DS is in 6th grade and has incredible amounts of homework, studying and tests. AND we were only going for a long weekend in Dec! I cannot imagine him missing a week :eek: ! DD in 2nd grade could easily miss and catch up. I am thankful we went last Dec. now.
Could you bear the crowds and go for a long Thanksgiving weekend, letting her miss maybe 2 days after that weekend? It's tough to be a parent sometime!

[wdwnutze]

We took DS out in the 8th grade to see the xmas decorations. He had to bring all his work with him and had to make up all his tests upon his return. Lucky for him, school work comes easy for him. He used the time on the plane and some evenings to do his work. I think you have to do what is right for your child. If my son had struggled at all in school, I wouldn't have taken him out. He is now a freshman in college and won't be able to go to WDW for a while so I am glad we have taken the trips we did. He is crazy about Disney. I am now considering whether or not to take DD out of school next year(she'll be in 6th grade) to spend Thanksgiving at Disney. I will base my decision on how well she is doing in school this year. In 5th grade she is getting about 2.5-3 hrs of work every night. I think it is way too much work for kids but I want her to realize that education comes first!

[snoopy]

The amount of homework my second grader has is ridiculous. :rolleyes: I'd be afraid to take him out at this age, much less a little older. I think if I were going to take them out, it would be at the end of the year rather than the middle or beginning. It seems like they would miss less academically at the end, when everyone - including the teachers, are gearing up for summer.

Sorry it had to come to this for you. :(

[WendyZ]

Sorry to hear you had to cancel. I completely understand! We are in the same boat. DD is in 7th grade and from here on out there is no way I could take her out of school. It would be too much, plus she plays sports. Coaches would just love that one!:rolleyes:

Hopefully you get to reschedule soon!!!

[DisneyMim]

Just wanted to add my 2 cents in here too. Yes I feel your pain and completely understand. My hubby is a teacher so we have never been able to go anytime expect school vacations. The homework thing is awful. My kids have had tons of homework since second grade and it gets worse every year. My son just started high school and he gets an incredible of amount of homework. Last week we had the back-to-school-night thing and one teacher actually talked about parents taking their children out of school for DISNEY. She said the school now has a policy that no homework will be giving out ahead of time for a vacation. Kids will just have to make it up when they back. This will be very hard to do especially for honor level kids. The pace is so fast now!! I know that it is hard for people, but believe me we've been going to Disney forever and have always gone during school vacations. As others have said you have to put the kids first. Education is so important, colleges are getting so competitive!!

Good Luck!!

[DW mouser]

It all depends on the school and the kid I think. We took our grandson and grandaughter out of school 2 years in a row to go to Disney and then Universal. The principal of the middle school said it was OK because he thought it was important to spend time as a family together and this was even extended family. He said the kids were lucky to have a close relationship with grandparents and as long as they had their school work made up he didn't see why not. That was when my grandson was in 7th & 8th grade. Now he is a freshman and my grandaughter in 5th at middle school and it's a harder decision. School has gotten tougher and I'm not so sure my grandson could get it all made up before a trip. It is sad if you ask me that they are pushing these kids that hard! No wonder so many people home school now days. The homeschooled kids seem to get finished in 5-6 hours a day what it takes the scool kids 8 hours to do and then they have all this homework! I say let them be kids while they can. They need to be out playing kick the can, ect. That teaches them how to get along together and play fair. All of the lessons they learn playing with others are important too whether it's with grandparents or other kids. I'm taking my grandaughter to a corn maze this Fri. night (her and 4 friends) for her birhtday. No, there will not be a fancy cake I paid to have made or alot of frills, but I bet they have alot of fun just doing plain old fashion stuff. We are roasting weinners afterwards and just having a fun time. Peolpe forget that having fun is important too! They need a break from all that homework!

[Beanie]

We have taken our kids out of school in December every year to go to Disney (grades 6, 9 and 10) and we have never had a problem with them making anything up...We have always told the teachers/principals that we would be leaving for an extended period and have requested that they get their homework a week before we leave, so they can turn it all in before we go...then when we get home, the teachers have always given them a couple of extra days to review and then the kids take their tests that they missed. So, they don't have any homework to make up when we get back, only tests to take, which isn't too many since it is only a week.

I am sorry you have to cancel your trip :(

[tar heel]

I think you're doing the only thing you can.

My middle child is in 9th grade at a school with block scheduling, so taking him out of school a week would be totally out of the question. My 3rd grader would have absolutely no problem making up the work, however, and his school is flexible about family trips.

One thing the people saying that it's fine to get the work and make up everything on the plane, at the resort, etc., are losing sight of is that important educational things happen at school. If the child is not there, they miss these things -- no matter how much work in advance they have. Children learn from other kids, they do experiements and hands-on activities, the teacher presents things in interesting ways, etc. The kids don't just go to school to get their homework, go home and do it, then bring it back. To take my child out of school for a week for a trip, it would have to be a truly educational trip. I love Disney World, but I wouldn't take my child out of high school for a week to go. If I had only my younger child, I might CONSIDER it.

[betz]

My dd is in middle school. This is how absence works:
Sick 1 to 2 days note from parents.
More than that note from doctor.
Without a note, they are unexcused absences.
There are very few reasons for an excused absence other than illness.
Vacations are not one of them.
To request a vacation be an excused absence 1st you must write a request to the school family liason. If she approves it, it goes on to the Board of Ed for approval. If she denies it , you can appeal it to the Board of Ed.
If a child misses class and it is an unexcused absence, the child has to write a paper.
If the child has 2 unexcused absences the child has to write another paper and stay in detention until 6 p.m.
On the 3rd unexcused absence the child has 1 week of detention until 6 p.m. and it goes up as a strike against the child.
At this school 3 strikes and you are asked to leave the school.
One can accumulate strikes from absences, behavior, and academic performance.

Thankfuly, her school does have Block Scheduling (longer classes 1 and 1/2 of hour) 4 major subjects and 2 minor subjects (which are only 30 minutes each) a day. Also the teachers coordinate their plans of study daily as to not give excessive homework on a night when there is an exam in another class.

When we go during the holidays we go friday saturday sunday and monday, thus missing only 2 days of class.

[emmagata]

Originally posted by crazyme5kids
I know I am the minority here, but I have , would and will continue to take my children out of school for trips. I am 42 years old, the youngest of 4 and all of us still talk about and laugh about our memories of vacations. I can't say the same of school. Yes school is important, but so is family. I think we are losing some of our quality time as a family these days, because we let everything else from school to sports activities etc... dictate our lives. I am guilty of it too. I can't tell you how many times I have said no we can't do that because they have baseball, Etc... We all miss out on special moments together. My daughter is not an A student, but she is very special to me, so I will let her have a trip. She learns that life is often a trade off. She must do and make up the work and test. Is it difficult? Yes, sometimes. Is it worth it? Definitly! 30 years from now my kids aren't going to be complaining about how horrible it was to make up the school work, they will be laughing and remembering a special time with family. To me this is putting my kids first.


I guess I'd be in the minority too, if we had kids.

I think there's way too much pressure on kids today. They need to have time to have a childhood in addition to preparing for the adult world.

I think a big part of the problem is that we've become a very materialistic society. In alot of cases both parents have to work to have a nice big house out in the country , two or 3 (or more)cars, and all those other "toys" like snowmobiles, qaud runners, boats and such that there's little time to actually share with each other.

I had none of those things growing up and I don't begrudge my parents one bit for it. Although we didn't take many expensive vacations to WDW every year (like a lot do around here) but I don't recall too many times being taken out of school to go on vacation (or other non vacation) either.

I still remember the special vacations that we had together.

And although I know I had plenty of homework (for the time), I don't remember that.

What it is it going to be like for the next generation and the one after that?

Are they going to start piping their school work through the womb before they're born?

[ZerasPride]

I'm so sorry to hear you are cancelling your trip! I can understand though. I remember our first "family" trip in 1998. DS was in the 6th grade. We had a wonderful time but he fell terribly behind in school. He really struggled and didn't say too much to us about how hard he had to work to make up his missed week. I had no idea! Now that he is a freshman in high school, he has actually requested that we NOT take him out of school for vacations. The work assigned is not tremendously difficult but there is a lot from each subject with homework all week and on the weekends too. This is his first year in a foreign language (and the teacher is speaking practically ALL in French to these kids who are not understanding most of what she is saying). I wouldn't dare have him miss a week of her class (lol).

Anyway, the point is I will really miss the low crowds and temperate weather of off season but it won't be happening for us for the next few years. I am fortunate that this is the first year the school system is giving the kids off Wednesday-Friday for Thanksgiving so he will only miss 2 days - and I feel bad about that!

[MJames41]

Maybe it's because we have been poor so long, or because my family (my kids and I) have suffered so many losses (my wife when my kids were 1 1/2 (d) 3 months (s), my wifes mom a few years later, my mom a few years ago) that I have absoluetely no problem taking my kids out. My kids school is important, but not more important than our families. Because my wife died so young, my kids never really got to develop memories of her. Well, I do have honeymoon pictures of her at Disney World, as well as other pictures from another trip - I think it helps for them to have virtual memories of her.

I have noticed that my experiences tends to give me (and my kids) a different perspective than many. The way I see it, schoolwork can always be made up. But my son will be turning 16 only once, on this trip. And, since my daughter will be starting college in the fall, this will be our last family trip for quite some time.

I know different people look at it in different ways, this is just my view. Not better than or worse than, just mine.

[crazyme5kids]

MJames41, You said so well how I feel! Thank you, your words are a gift!

[sudiequ]

My Kids are the same age/grade. Our first trip was 4 years ago, and now were going in Nov. I am lucky, because our school has parent-tchr. conferences 2 days before Thanksgiving, so i'm really only pulling them out for 2 days. Have you talked with your kids teachers yet? i would recommend talking to them before you cancel everything, they are sometimes understanding if you've thought ahead to get work in prior to leaving. I justified my concerns for pulling them out as: a) i don't do it every year, b) i will never pull him out of H.S. (if you think 8th grade homework is bad...wait :( , c) I won't be able to get these moments back, he has grown up so fast, and i already feel him pulling away into his own little independent (stubborn, teenage, know-it-all, and lets not forget puberty :rolleyes: ) self. Whatever your decision, know that you have thought it thru, looked at all the options, and made the best decision for your family. Good Luck!!

Sue

[DVC-Don]

We stopped taking the kids out of school for WDW this school year. The homework 5th & 6th graders get was getting too much to try and catch up. Our school district now has a policy not to assign homework to take on vacation now (illegal absence). It was easier when they did so, but now that is not an option. I too remember sitting on balconies or at a quiet pool table while they did homework.

[Kallison]

I just got a job as an aide for a 7th grade learning support class. My oldest is in 6th. I told DH that no way can we take them out for trips in middle school. They have 5 core subjects and get work in each class. It depends a lot on the student. I know personally my son would be overwhelmed, trying to figure out what he missed and making up the work. It's just not homework they are making up, they have to know what was covered in class and understand it all. I wanted to take one last trip in 6th grade with just 3 days off, he got very upset and said he didn't want to miss school. I have to respect that fact, since he is the one doing the work. We are going to try a hot, hot summer trip. I just told them nobody better complain! I'm glad we too 3 trips during the school year up to this point. I hear a lot of my friends say they are going to wait until the kids are older, I don't think they realize what they are in for with the school curriculum.

[WDW2002]

I think it all boils down to personal choice. It is up to the parents to determine if their child should miss school for Disney. I have determined that Middle School is where no more week long pull outs will occur, I think it would just be too difficult to cordinate with 7+ teachers.

[Poohbear123]

Due to my new Job Status, I had to cancel my Dec. Dis Con trip.:( :( Don't know WHEN I will see WDW at Xmas either.:rolleyes:

[Lynn CC]

I took DS (who is sophmore in HS) out Every year since he was in Kindergarten anywhere from 3-8 days for our Disney trips.

He gas gotten a ton of homework since 6th grade. I used to write formal letters to each of his teachers (each year) 3 weeks in advance asking for homework, so he could do it on vacation.

They always were very happy to help out. He started his homework on the plane ride to Florida and he was still doing it when he was flying home, but he got it done. A lot of his teachers gave him copies of the tests to take with him (honor system)...if not he stayed after school when he got back to take them.

Maybe you could talk with his teachers and work something out?
Once they are in High School forget it!

[Princess_Aurora]

How about making your trip shorter? Leave on a Thur. after school and come back on a Monday that way they'll only miss two days of school.

My kids haven't started school yet, but I fully intend on taking them out every year. I don't want to go during school breaks because of the crowds. To me, when it's crowded you can't get as much done. If you go during a less crowded time for just a few days you can get a LOT more done. So you can get more done on a four-day vacation during value season than you can get done on a week-long vacation during peak season. Just try to get all the assignments before you leave and they can do it in the evenings after coming back from the parks.

[Otimon]

Is there any possibility you could all take your vacation a couple of week later? Perhaps go Christmas week instead when school vacation is on? Yes, the parks will be more crowded at that time but the important thing is you'll all be there together without the worry! Hope that could work out for you.
Sending some PD direct from the World ------>>>

By the way, my aunt lives in Wallingford and I grew up in Hamden.

Best wishes.

[opal]

We took dd out of school for trips to wdw until she was in 7th grade. We always checked with her teachers first. Most of the time they were very cooperative, giving her assignments a week a two before we left so she could work ahead (she was and is a good student). Once she got to 7th grade, it was too much stress, so we started going at end of August, right before school started. To be honest, those were the most enjoyable trips. There wasn't the stress of extra homework before and after our trip!!! Now dd is a junior in college and we go in January during her mid-semester break. Every year we say, Oh, this will probably be the last trip for awhile, but deep in our hearts we know we will go back!!!!

[epcotfan]

I say take your child out and go. Which will matter to your kid ten years from now...Another week at school or the fantasic family vacation memories?

I was always sick when I was young and missed school regularly. I still managed to get through high school and go to University. I don't think one week will make that much of an impact in the long run.

[MrsPete]

You're doing the right thing for your child. Whether we like it or not, school is tougher than it used to be. If we want our children to be competative, we've got to do the right thing -- even when it's tough.

You can go at a different time of year and have the same family bonding experience without hurting her academically.

[ckr]

1.) Will it matter in 7 years?

2.) What is the worst case scenario?

When DD was in 1st grade, we had a trip to St Martin planned with her grandparents for 2 weeks in the fall. It is the time they always go and they've been wanting for years to share with us "their paradise." Until that year, the principal had allowed travel with family as excused absences. However, as she was retiring in January, she decided to make a rule that no more trips would be excused. This was well after all the plans were made and paid for. We went anyways. Later that same school year (in January), DH's sister moved her wedding date up from November to March (preggo). She got married on a 3-day cruise and both DDs were flower girls. So DD missed another 4 days unexcused for that trip.

7 Year test: No brainer. The memories of the ENTIRE YEAR in 1st grade don't compare to the memories/experiences of those 14 school DAYS!

Worst Case Scenario test: 14 days UNexcused absences in 1st grade. Would they keep her from graduating? From getting accepted to college? From getting scholarships? No. There are now 14 Absences on her official transript for that year. OK...... ?? We also got a letter from the school social workers regarding truancy and the legalities. I explained our situation and the reasons we decided to do what we did. They backed down. (Do you really think they have time to "punish" parents who actually take time to be with their kids, to show them the world, to expose them to other cultures, to strengthen their ties to their heritage by spending time with relatives who live far away?!?! Let them try!!) Bottom Line: Those absences did not keep my DD from passing into 2nd grade. It is a number on a piece of paper in her cummulative folder. That's all it is!

As far as middle and high school, I plan to ask what the Worst Case Scenario is when we get there. Ask the teachers/administrators: Since DD will be out of school from (date) to (date) to travel with family, will her absences be excused? If not, what EXACTLY do unexcused absences affect? Eligibility for extracurricular activities? The option to make up the work? What if the work cannot be made up? What if we choose to NOT have her overburdened with extra homework before/after the travel and she simply does not do the assignments for that time period? Can she still take the tests? How will this affect her grade for the marking period? How will this affect her grade for the year? How will this affect her passing the class? Does her grade in this class calculate into her GPA used for college admittance? (If yes, then that becomes a more important matter as it also plays into the 7 Year test.)

I guess my feeling is that the really important stuff is gone over so much (expose them to it one year, reintroduce it the next year, work on it the next year, review the following year, continue to reinforce it the following.... ), while she may miss a lesson on some one thing or another, the experiences that we share during our travel will make her future learning more meaningful: Experiencing being on a Caribbean island as a hurricane passes, managing her own travel money, reading maps and roadsigns, meeting people from other cultures, waiting in line, knowing that her family loves her and CHERISHES the time spent together...

While I know that vacations CAN be taken while the kids are out of school and makes this all a moot point, for some of us, the expense or the timing of travel only during school holidays makes travel impossible. So when the choice is miss school or not travel together, we do the 7 Year and Worst Case Scenario tests to make our decisions.

Good Luck in whatever decisions each of you make for yourself and your family.

PS. I am a former High School Math Teacher and I can tell you that I probably would not have felt this way back then. Teachers can get pretty full of themselves sometimes (experience talking here) and any teacher that thinks THEIR class is that important is simply pompous and self-appreciating. Giving in to their "I am God" attitude only strengthens it. I won't let any teacher or school system take away my power to parent. PERIOD!