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View Full Version : Help with guests thinking it's too much to come to Disney Wedding


Sccrmnky2005
11-29-2010, 09:31 AM
Ok so I've had a few guests questions my grandparents on how much it will cost them to come to a Disney wedding. I've explained it to my grandmother so hopefully she will relay the mesage correctly, but how can I alert all my guests into knowing it's not going to cost them thousands of dollars to come?!?:confused3

Yes everyone will be traveling from Kentucky but since I live in FL, they would have to do it anyways, if I had a DIsney wedding or just a another regular wedding anywhere else. I'm guessing they think they must buy park tickets and such, which adds up( I know). I've sent a pre-lim newsletter to give guests ideas and such but I would like to send out something along with our Save the dates to reassure guests it's not going to costs thousands of dollars each. PLEASE HELP ME!! :worship::worship:

april2011bride
11-29-2010, 09:43 AM
We had the same problem. So when we sent our save the dates we sent a newsletter that was very detailed in what they can or could not do in Disney and about what it would cost them. I also reminded them that since they are there for a wedding they get cheaper rooms and tickets...so hey if your going to Fl all the way fron NJ why not make a family vacation out of it! Some people are still not that happy...But you know what...i dont care...this is what we have always wanted and everyone who really matters will be there and not miss it! Stay positive! It WILL work out! Good Luck:)

Sccrmnky2005
11-29-2010, 10:23 AM
We had the same problem. So when we sent our save the dates we sent a newsletter that was very detailed in what they can or could not do in Disney and about what it would cost them. I also reminded them that since they are there for a wedding they get cheaper rooms and tickets...so hey if your going to Fl all the way fron NJ why not make a family vacation out of it! Some people are still not that happy...But you know what...i dont care...this is what we have always wanted and everyone who really matters will be there and not miss it! Stay positive! It WILL work out! Good Luck:)

Thank you!! I've sent out a newsletter but haven't really layed out an average of what it would cost them. DO you mind sharing to me by email the layout your used to break it down? Sccrmnky2005@yahoo.com is my email.

Because it's going to cost them the same to come to FL traveling and hotel wise for anytype of wedding, DIsney or Not. I guess me and DF need to sit down after the holidays and figure out what we can break down and get sent out to our guests so they know it is something they can afford.:goodvibes

april2011bride
11-29-2010, 10:51 AM
Im at work so I dont have it on the computer here....sorry:surfweb:
But I can explain what I did... we booked 9 moths out from our date so we got our room block set up quick and the rates. I took the rate of each of the 3 resorts plus tax and layed that out. I also went into detail about what each hotel offers. Then I want on the disney website and copy the chart that expains the ticket prices. I explained the more days they add the cheaper it is per day. At that time I didnt know the park discount that disney gave for people coming to the wedding so I said this would be worse case senario. Everyone seemed to understand it a little better. The only thing I didnt price was transportation because we have people coming from all over the us...so it will be different for everyone. Hope that helps!

LuvLuvLuv
11-29-2010, 12:48 PM
ugh, it must be a kentucky thing :rotfl2: we're having trouble with our people here... but my people in pennsylvania are all in :confused3

i've tried to explain the deals, etc that will probably be out--but then i get a sigh and a, "well we'll see it's so far away." umm! no!! it's not far away!! not if you think it's sooooooooooooo expensive, then you need to save if you want to come!! i recently put a ton of pix of our november vaca up on my FB page in hopes that it would excite some people.

it gets me how they spend all their time at the casino, or going to vegas, or buying new cocktail dresses and shoes for every weekend... but can't come up with a couple hundred (okay maybe 1000) to come to my wedding. well at $125 a plate, their doing me a favor by staying home :lmao: someone needs to watch my doggie i guess :cutie:

after the holidays i'm going to start on a preliminary newsletter. i don't want to do save the dates until i book. i guess my one selling point is that i'm keeping all of our activities outside of the parks. this is so they don't feel obligated to buy park tickets... so if they want to... it's on them :)

good luck!

sambycat
11-29-2010, 02:05 PM
yeah, i feel the pain. destination weddings ARE more expensive and require more thought by the guest than one down the street (or for a certain generation, driving 3 hours back and forth because that seems totally fine to my aunts and uncles apparently). we purposely sent out save the dates and invites way early. i did one newsletter and, since our guest list wasn't huge, tried to talk to or offer to talk to and help family members who needed it. 75% are totally in, we've had 4 - who we were both really surprised by - say they couldn't and cited travel as the reason. we did have a wrench in things as ours is a weekday wedding - but that had more to do with our honeymoon plans than getting a better deal on the wedding cost.

i think lots of info is good but thats about all you can do. it's all about what the individual sees as a "priority" and iam sure they don't see you as NOT a priority, it just seems like a lot of work to them. and one of my (i thought) very best friends isn't coming i think because she doesn't like disney. for some, you can't change their minds and they can't open theirs to understand that you aren't getting married in a costume on a roller coaster.

although that is sounding kinda fun....

msmayor
11-29-2010, 02:34 PM
You mention turning it into a "family vacation", so I assume that you intend to include all the kids of the adults you are inviting to the wedding festivities?

If so, great...but if not, then you put 'families' in a bind because they have to figure out what to do with their kids whether they bring them or leave them home.

And I'm sorry, but taking a family to Disney DOES cost thousands. It can be done inexpensively, but its still a significant expenditure in terms of time and money.

You mention that they would be coming to Florida anyway since you live there...I don't mean to sound pessimistic but are you sure all would travel? If so, perhaps they would have stayed in less expensive accommodations (renting a house, perhaps, and splitting that cost?) or only stayed for a weekend.

Anytime to are asking folks to lay out ANY amount of hard earned money and vacation time you need to adjust your expectations. It doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't do what YOU want, but you have to realize that not everyone can reasonably participate.

sambycat
11-29-2010, 02:44 PM
You mention turning it into a "family vacation", so I assume that you intend to include all the kids of the adults you are inviting to the wedding festivities?

If so, great...but if not, then you put 'families' in a bind because they have to figure out what to do with their kids whether they bring them or leave them home.

And I'm sorry, but taking a family to Disney DOES cost thousands. It can be done inexpensively, but its still a significant expenditure in terms of time and money.

You mention that they would be coming to Florida anyway since you live there...I don't mean to sound pessimistic but are you sure all would travel? If so, perhaps they would have stayed in less expensive accommodations (renting a house, perhaps, and splitting that cost?) or only stayed for a weekend.

Anytime to are asking folks to lay out ANY amount of hard earned money and vacation time you need to adjust your expectations. It doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't do what YOU want, but you have to realize that not everyone can reasonably participate.


generally, i agree. and noone should take offense per se at someone not being able to come, and noone knows whats really going on in anyones' wallets!!!

that said, i don't think the idea in some folks' minds about what something along these lines might cost is always reflective of what it does cost. for us, we have invited only the closest family members and then given TONS of notice so that appropriate plans could be made - get that vacation time off, get the best deal on airfare possible, etc...

so really, again, all you can do is provide info and answer questions and let the chips fall where they may...

as to the kid issue - as long as kids are included in the wedding itself - mentioning a "family vacation time" is just another idea for guests to think about, not a commitment to host the guests for the week! :scared1:

its always a tough one! my cousin'd 2 sons got married within 6 months of each other and initially both stated they wanted destination weddings in the carribean, that of course mom and dad would be paying for. my cousin told them both if that is what you want to do, we can pitch in x amount of dollars, but we can't afford to come in addition to that!

also side note, everyone i am related to who lives east of the rockies seems to think driving 22 hours in a mini-van full of people is part of the vacation so maybe folks will want to drive! we ourselves are only staying on property (me) the night before the wedding and on our wedding night, because we are renting a condo (that we are paying for) to hold us, his 17 yo son, his mom, my step mom and my borther and his wife. we certainly couldn't afford to stay on property for 6 days and host all the wedding stuff and eat! that full kitchen is going to be our lifesaver!!! :)

Sccrmnky2005
11-29-2010, 03:00 PM
yeah, i feel the pain. destination weddings ARE more expensive and require more thought by the guest than one down the street (or for a certain generation, driving 3 hours back and forth because that seems totally fine to my aunts and uncles apparently). we purposely sent out save the dates and invites way early. i did one newsletter and, since our guest list wasn't huge, tried to talk to or offer to talk to and help family members who needed it. 75% are totally in, we've had 4 - who we were both really surprised by - say they couldn't and cited travel as the reason. we did have a wrench in things as ours is a weekday wedding - but that had more to do with our honeymoon plans than getting a better deal on the wedding cost.

i think lots of info is good but thats about all you can do. it's all about what the individual sees as a "priority" and iam sure they don't see you as NOT a priority, it just seems like a lot of work to them. and one of my (i thought) very best friends isn't coming i think because she doesn't like disney. for some, you can't change their minds and they can't open theirs to understand that you aren't getting married in a costume on a roller coaster.

although that is sounding kinda fun....

Yeah I just sent out another MASS email to everyone again.

You mention turning it into a "family vacation", so I assume that you intend to include all the kids of the adults you are inviting to the wedding festivities?

If so, great...but if not, then you put 'families' in a bind because they have to figure out what to do with their kids whether they bring them or leave them home.

And I'm sorry, but taking a family to Disney DOES cost thousands. It can be done inexpensively, but its still a significant expenditure in terms of time and money.

You mention that they would be coming to Florida anyway since you live there...I don't mean to sound pessimistic but are you sure all would travel? If so, perhaps they would have stayed in less expensive accommodations (renting a house, perhaps, and splitting that cost?) or only stayed for a weekend.

Anytime to are asking folks to lay out ANY amount of hard earned money and vacation time you need to adjust your expectations. It doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't do what YOU want, but you have to realize that not everyone can reasonably participate.

All of my family MOSTLY doesn't have Kids. For example the only kids that would be coming to the wedding anyways are in my bridal party and one family lives in FL and the other in KY (but the KY one is a single mom and lives with her parents- she's not an issue as she will be coming) as I don't have many family types yet as all my cousins just recently got married so it's not the leaving behind the kids type thing at all.

And when it's taking a family to disney for my family that lives in Kentucky it's mostly grandparents, aunts uncles, COUPLE types, nothing more than two people per household. And I've not mad anyone feel as they had to book on Disney property they can stay ANYWHERE in FL they feel is cheapest and will work out the best for them.

As I made my wedding on a monday for those reasons of giving time for people to travel to FL if they were driving or flying and being there for my wedding and going back that tuesday or wednesday. So thus this would not be taking anyone out of work too long, as I said most of my family is retired and all their kids are grown up with a life of their own.

I'm sorry but flying from KY to FL or driving at that matter doesn't cost thousands, expecially staying at a On or off site resort. If a guest stays a value for average of 80 per night that's cheaper that most beach destination weddings I've been too. As the hotels have costed $120+. I'm not REQUIRING anyone to buy or go the the theme parks, heck they don't even have to do anything at Disney at all but lay in the pool the whole time I don't care. :scared1:

I know most of us Disney Brides don't care where our family stays on property, off property, a few hours away from disney whatever suits them, as long as they are there to share our day with us.

MsEsty
11-29-2010, 08:29 PM
Any time you require someone to travel, it costs money. There is the actual travel, time off from work and meals. All you can do is give the breakdown of what it could cost. In this economy $100 for a night just might be too much.

For just my one friend coming in on Monday and leaving on Wed, it is still costing hundreds in airfare, meals and time off (and she's staying in one of our extra rooms).

If people can they will find a way, they will, but if they can't, they can't.

elleinad16
11-29-2010, 09:22 PM
The only suggestion that might help...

What we've been telling a lot of our buddies that are on a budget is if they fit 4 people in the cheapest room possible and split it (~$100 a night) then they're paying about $25 a night...

So far, that little bit of encouraging budgeting is helping them change their minds.

LoriABil
11-29-2010, 09:39 PM
Maybe you could include samples of off-property hotels and price
Per night, like the
Ones at DTD in your letter. Include the fact that these are just examples, and there are cheaper and more expensive hotels to be found.

We had a destination wedding and told guests that their attendance was the only gift we wanted. I was told over and over that it was a faux pas, but my cousins and people our age were grateful and it allowed them extra money to come share with us.

Option B is a reception in Kentucky if many in your family can't attend a Disney wedding. Then, they can still share with you and they won't feel left out.

But it is your wedding! No stress, no worries, just let it be - and be happy!

tinkerbell 766
11-30-2010, 05:02 AM
Would it be more economical for a group of your guests to rent out a large house and split the cost? That way if they come for a few days and cannot afford park passes etc, they have a pool(?) and a base in which to chill out and not feel they have to join in (not that I think for a moment that you will make anybody feel that way anyway). Just a thought.

Sccrmnky2005
11-30-2010, 07:18 AM
Thank you

Ember
11-30-2010, 08:01 AM
The downside to any destination wedding is that it costs people time and money to attend. I really don't think you can be hurt when people choose to decline the invitation, and there's no polite way to insist they come. You can create a newsletter with options of more affordable ways of attending, but ultimately, the choice is theirs. They may not be able to take the time, spend the money or simply not want to use their time/money on a wedding. No matter who attends, though, your wedding day will be wonderful!

Sccrmnky2005
11-30-2010, 09:12 AM
The downside to any destination wedding is that it costs people time and money to attend. I really don't think you can be hurt when people choose to decline the invitation, and there's no polite way to insist they come. You can create a newsletter with options of more affordable ways of attending, but ultimately, the choice is theirs. They may not be able to take the time, spend the money or simply not want to use their time/money on a wedding. No matter who attends, though, your wedding day will be wonderful!

I definitly understand some people not being able to come, because of taking off work and such. BUT the only ones that would need to take off work are in my wedding party ie: cousins, and they have already got a few plans worked out to coming. But I'm just disappointed and shocked that my Aunt and Uncle would say it's too much (thousands of dollars for two people) to come down here. When they are retired, don't work, don't have any commitments etc.

I'm just trying to justify why they are getting to this conclusion already(they haven't contacted me yet to see what I will be able to help them out with- I told everyone that since we live in FL I will answer and help them with anything) as they travel a lot and have money, live in a 3 story 5 bedroom house, etc.

As my grandparents have a house down here in Mt. Dora, FL and come down to FL as snow birds from August-April which they could even stay there. They were not one that I would think would back out and say it's too much money.:confused3 We will have to see next year what goes on and what I can figure out after I start getting responses.

THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELP AND OPINIONS

Princess SarahK
11-30-2010, 09:28 AM
hey girl, im so sorry to hear about all of this, im dealing with it from some of my relatives too. i live away from all of my relatives (minus my parents) and everyone would have to travel here if we had the wedding local, so whats a few more hours? they would all need to stay in a hotel here, or there..and disney has nice hotels at awesome rates--of which may even beat some hotels here in town! in my eyes..they would travel either way and incur the same costs! im not asking them to do anything above or beyond what they would if i had my wedding here..so yeah, i totally understand where youre coming from!! its almost heartbreaking to know some of your closest family members or even not close ones wont be there for you on your day. i understand where theyre coming from but it still sucks. the best thing i can think of is just to think that youre saving money on your guest count. i know it sounds bad but if they really wanted to be there, they would. they will just regret not going when they hear how awesome everything was for everyone else who did go. thats the best i got, lol...let me know how it all turns out! :grouphug:

Sccrmnky2005
11-30-2010, 10:00 AM
hey girl, im so sorry to hear about all of this, im dealing with it from some of my relatives too. i live away from all of my relatives (minus my parents) and everyone would have to travel here if we had the wedding local, so whats a few more hours? they would all need to stay in a hotel here, or there..and disney has nice hotels at awesome rates--of which may even beat some hotels here in town! in my eyes..they would travel either way and incur the same costs! im not asking them to do anything above or beyond what they would if i had my wedding here..so yeah, i totally understand where youre coming from!! its almost heartbreaking to know some of your closest family members or even not close ones wont be there for you on your day. i understand where theyre coming from but it still sucks. the best thing i can think of is just to think that youre saving money on your guest count. i know it sounds bad but if they really wanted to be there, they would. they will just regret not going when they hear how awesome everything was for everyone else who did go. thats the best i got, lol...let me know how it all turns out! :grouphug:


Thanks Sarah!:hug: Yes since everyone besides some of my Wedding party and Parents live in Kentucky or Indiana. So if I were to have a regular wedding they would inccur the same costs as a Disney wedding. I'll have to sit down with DF and figure out a breakdown we can put together to hopefully put some minds at ease!

*Pixiedust1438*
11-30-2010, 11:57 AM
I think a lot of Disney Brides have the same problem. I know I do. And I think it makes it tougher because you live in Florida, so you would expcet more people to come. We always get the question, "Why are you getting married in Flordia and not here?" It's annyoing since we still are getting it from family who have know about the wedding for almost a year now. When I decided to get married in Disney, I told myself, I know many people are not going to be able to afford to come, or might just not want to spend their money that way, and I wasn't going to let it bother me. And I think I have been doing a good job not letting it bother me, even thought it has been tough hearing people we thought would come are not. DF is not having such an easy time, and keeps getting really upset when someone in his family talks about possibly not coming. It's such a hard situation but I think in the end you have to worry about what you want for your day and try to let things you can't control go. Good luck and I know your wedding will turn out beautiful!

figmentfan814
11-30-2010, 12:14 PM
I had to cover this topic several times in my newsletters too. We tried to explain 1) why Florida; 2) things to do besides theme parks; 3) cost expectations depending on if you were making it a vacation, etc. I can't remember if I send you my newsletters a while back or not (I think so, but maybe it was the scavenger hunt). If you want to see how I covered these topics let me know and I can email them over :goodvibes Also, check to see if a lot of family are flying you can sometimes set up group rates through the airlines. I did this with my family from Michigan for rates on Airtran.

In the end, anyone who doesn't come you can't let it bother you. As my one aunt told me when I was upset about some relatives not coming, they are the ones that are missing out on a once in a lifetime experience.

JuliBells
11-30-2010, 09:00 PM
Figmentfan814
How do u set up group rates thru the airlines?

TIA

Sccrmnky2005
12-01-2010, 08:17 AM
I think a lot of Disney Brides have the same problem. I know I do. And I think it makes it tougher because you live in Florida, so you would expcet more people to come. We always get the question, "Why are you getting married in Flordia and not here?" It's annyoing since we still are getting it from family who have know about the wedding for almost a year now. When I decided to get married in Disney, I told myself, I know many people are not going to be able to afford to come, or might just not want to spend their money that way, and I wasn't going to let it bother me. And I think I have been doing a good job not letting it bother me, even thought it has been tough hearing people we thought would come are not. DF is not having such an easy time, and keeps getting really upset when someone in his family talks about possibly not coming. It's such a hard situation but I think in the end you have to worry about what you want for your day and try to let things you can't control go. Good luck and I know your wedding will turn out beautiful!

Thanks for this!!:hug: I live in Florida so I'm expecting and would be expecting most of my family to come down to any wedding I had here. I've lived here since I was 3 and they knew this was coming sooner or later, I send out Engagement announcements in May putting people on notice that we are planning for June 2012. But I understand that not everyone will be able to make it I'm just shocked about a few people, but hopefully in the end they will end up coming after we send out a few more things.:goodvibes

I had to cover this topic several times in my newsletters too. We tried to explain 1) why Florida; 2) things to do besides theme parks; 3) cost expectations depending on if you were making it a vacation, etc. I can't remember if I send you my newsletters a while back or not (I think so, but maybe it was the scavenger hunt). If you want to see how I covered these topics let me know and I can email them over :goodvibes Also, check to see if a lot of family are flying you can sometimes set up group rates through the airlines. I did this with my family from Michigan for rates on Airtran.

In the end, anyone who doesn't come you can't let it bother you. As my one aunt told me when I was upset about some relatives not coming, they are the ones that are missing out on a once in a lifetime experience.

Thanks sooo much!!! I've actually got both! Newsletters and Hunts!! :worship: I LOVE LOVE THEM!! I just have to wait it out and figure out what happens in the end, and not let it bother me!!:hug:

morozco5
12-01-2010, 10:50 AM
We had the same problem. So when we sent our save the dates we sent a newsletter that was very detailed in what they can or could not do in Disney and about what it would cost them. I also reminded them that since they are there for a wedding they get cheaper rooms and tickets...so hey if your going to Fl all the way fron NJ why not make a family vacation out of it! Some people are still not that happy...But you know what...i dont care...this is what we have always wanted and everyone who really matters will be there and not miss it! Stay positive! It WILL work out! Good Luck:)

would you mind sharing the newsletter??? I'm in need of ideas to let my people know they have to book within the next month or 2 for may... but I don't know how to put all the info together... my email is morozco5@yahoo.com

Belle2Be
12-01-2010, 08:59 PM
I'm in the same boat as you hun. I"m not even sure if my Mom is going, but thats a different story. We're content knowing those who really want to support us, will be there. And those who can't afford it, well, I'm really hoping/ trying to figure out a way to do a live feed, or at least will send the video out :) It is expensive, but we chose our date to include the dining plan, and if that means paying for an extra night or whatever it takes for some family and friends, then that's what we'll do. It would cost 400 for 4 nights in a value hotel, if 2 people sleep there its 200 a person, plus 100-250 airfare a person round trip. So 300-450 a person for travel expenses, _ free food for the week due to the dining plan. Then 224 for 3 days of Disney, plus 50 (I think) for the park hopper, is 275 per person, which brings us to 575-725. It IS expensive, but it isn't much more than any other destination wedding for sure, if not less, and it offers soooo much more! (thats also without any discounts, which I thnk you get 10% off passes and rooms right?)