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View Full Version : My 13yr old doesn't want to go now???


breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 08:23 AM
My 13yr old DD decided she doesn't want to go with us....she's rather stay with her BF for a week. She said making up all the work is a pain and it's not worth it. She did have alot of work to catch up on last time. So idk....anyone else's teen not want to go?

TheGoofyBunch
11-09-2010, 08:39 AM
Our daughter has not joined us the last 2 years. Our son has a blast and is always ready to go. She has all AP and honors classes and does not like having to make up all that work. When we were young I was always ready to miss school.:cool2:

js
11-09-2010, 08:41 AM
My 13yr old DD decided she doesn't want to go with us....she's rather stay with her BF for a week. She said making up all the work is a pain and it's not worth it. She did have alot of work to catch up on last time. So idk....anyone else's teen not want to go?

I use to take my kids out all the time from school up including 8th grade.
They did well and it was never a problem with the school/teachers making up the work for a family vacation.
BUT, once my dd started HS, she asked me to please not take her out of school anymore adn I haven't. She is like the poster before me, all AP and Honors. She would have a tremendous amount of work to catch up on including all the lessons she would have to teach herself.

Now, for a 13 year old to stay home with her BF, I am assuming you mean best friend, not boy friend :scared1: LOL

Good luck and let us know what you decide.

Mineu
11-09-2010, 08:44 AM
That has happened to us twice! Last year my oldest (16 at the time) did not want to go on our RCL Med. cruise (he did not like the long flight at all)-so, after much discussion we allowed him to stay at my father-in-law's. Upside was we were able to book a suite since we were only five-so although we missed him-we still managed to have fun. He loved the special attention of being the only child for awhile back home. It worked out so well that our second son (now 16) has decided to skip our Dream cruise this Mardi Gras and go on a trip with his class-my oldest is coming with us this time though. Although it was hard to leave them behind-I couldn't see paying a ton of money to force them to come on a trip with us. Hope this helps...

BealsRwe
11-09-2010, 08:54 AM
Twinge of pain & anxiety just thinking about my DD telling me someday that she doesn't want to go. DD is 6, and we are getting ready to set sail on her 7th DCL. Yep, she is spoiled. In fact, we aren't even telling her this time, just surprising her. Our DD is an only, so this family vacation works perfect for us as she spends time with kids her own age. We are actually taking her out of school for a week (did it last year too). While she is only in 1st grade, the accelerated pace of her work, we have already made arrangements to get her work ahead of time to do on the ship.

Whatever decision you make for your family is the one that will work. I can respect a teen not wanting to fall behind in school work...that would make me very proud as a parent. If you have a responsible adult/family willing to take them in for the week, it may be the best experience for all.

My Mom just passed away in June, and my Dad is within his final days as well. My fondest memories that I have been recollecting are the family vacations...yes, the ones I didn't necessarily want to go on. These memories are something to carry me through the hard days. I remember not wanting to go camping in some of the National Parks out west...now these are memories I will cherish forever!

Good luck!

ducky_love
11-09-2010, 09:07 AM
My parents forced me to go on vacation with them until I was 18 and I can tell you no good came of it. If they want to stay home make sure they understand what they are missing but let them decide. (just my opinion - but I wish my parents would have let me)

Dicecatt
11-09-2010, 09:11 AM
No, lol. My kids would rather walk on hot coals than miss a Disney cruise, the 16 year old included. She gave up a trip to Hawaii with her choir to go on the Mexican Riviera Disney cruise next March. She is also not happy with me that she isn't going with us next week or in January, but I can't have her miss school, I don't trust that she'll make up all the work (she has good intentions but doesn't always follow through).

I go a lot because of my career, and the kids are always up for coming! It would make me sad if they weren't into it anymore, for sure. I can't imagine not wanting to go on vacation!

irishdadx4
11-09-2010, 09:11 AM
Our daughter has not joined us the last 2 years. Our son has a blast and is always ready to go. She has all AP and honors classes and does not like having to make up all that work. When we were young I was always ready to miss school.:cool2:

Kids today....who can figure them out??:confused3

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 09:26 AM
I use to take my kids out all the time from school up including 8th grade.
They did well and it was never a problem with the school/teachers making up the work for a family vacation.
BUT, once my dd started HS, she asked me to please not take her out of school anymore adn I haven't. She would have a tremendous amount of work to catch up on including all the lessons she would have to teach herself.

Now, for a 13 year old to stay home with her BF, I am assuming you mean best friend, not boy friend :scared1: LOL

Good luck and let us know what you decide.

I probably should have clarified:lmao: That would be BEST FRIEND , and I've already talked to her parents and they said it would be fine. Maddie is a straight A student and is already taking sophmore Eng, Math classes. Those classes have alot of homework. So I understand her not wanting to miss school. My second grader only had 7 papers to do last time, easy.

Scrappy_Tink
11-09-2010, 09:52 AM
Ahhhhhhhh, the first sign of maturity!! :goodvibes I'd let her stay behind, and bring her back a special souvineer for being so consciencious.

KSDisneyDad
11-09-2010, 09:59 AM
We used to take our kids out of school for our cruises. A few years ago, they asked that we not do it anymore as it was hard to make up all of the work.

We no longer put them in that position as we understand how hard it is. Instead, we spend a little more and go during times where they are out of school such as the last week of May/first week of June or toward the end of August. Our boys love cruising and would be heartbroken if we did a family cruise and they felt they couldn't go because of schoolwork. I know this may sound harsh, but perhaps you should reconsider when you book cruises in the future as you appear to have a very responsible teen.

If a child wants to miss a family vacation because of more selfish reasons such as spending time with friends, I would have a completely different conversation with them. Fortunately, our kids still enjoy our trips together and look forward to them even though the oldest two are in their teens.

Deb Quen of Colorado
11-09-2010, 10:19 AM
We ended up canceling our WDW part of our trip because my oldest couldn't take that much time off. We also scheduled the cruise duing the only week that both boys have time off of school/activities for the entire schoool year.
For me, it is more important to have a family vacation. So I don't pick times that they would fall behind in school or miss important stuff.

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 10:23 AM
I wish we could go in the summer but it's ALOT more expensive, and honestly we couldn't afford to do it then. My DH is in concrete and taking a vacay in summer ,he just wont do. That's the busiest time and hes the forman. Homework isn't the only reason she said she just flat out didn't like it. On our last cruise my two oldest just complained the whole time. They said they were glad for the experience but wouldn't do it again.The rest of us had a GREAT time. Guess it's the age, plus for a parent of younger ones it's also about seeing the wonder and excitement in their eyes that makes it more fun for me:) My teenage DD's eyes were more like rolling:lmao:

ppiew
11-09-2010, 10:35 AM
we always arranged our vacations during times when school was out. then no excuses! Also was hesitant about leaving teens with someone else - even if a family member ie. grandma etc. My husband is in construction, so summers were out. We had vacations then during Easter. I know - more expensive, more people, but that was the alternative and we stood by it until they were out of school. never regretted it and neither did the kids. They have always said those were the best times as family! Quite a compliment I thought.

grlzmom
11-09-2010, 10:38 AM
Once my kids reach high school, they make the decision whether or not they can miss the school work and still keep the grades up.

That said, almost always they pick the cruise, even when it involves an extended absence or missing something special at school.

We don't do vacations near end of 9 weeks grading periods or at standardized testing or AP exam time.

floydfamily4
11-09-2010, 11:03 AM
No one likes to travel with a hostage:rotfl: Let her stay home and enjoy yourselves. Next year try to manage a different kind of vacay if you can. At least you are considering it. Some parents would put their foot down and say " you are coming on vacation, you will have fun, and you will smile for all the pictures!" :rotfl2: Oh, the teenage years...can't wait:scared1:

Deb Quen of Colorado
11-09-2010, 11:11 AM
I think the question that I keep wondering about is why do you make your kids choose between going on a family vacation or school?

momx2
11-09-2010, 11:19 AM
My daughter asked to stop missing more than one or two days of school for a vacation in 5th grade. While I hated it, I was very proud of her not wanting to fall behind. She is in 7th grade now and a straight A student. I could not imagine the issues if she missed for vacation now. She must be there for math to keep her A in advanced math. Be proud they realize they need to be there.

I also read she didn't want to go. I don't know if I would have booked another cruise if 2 of the kids complained on the the last cruise, but that's just me.

js
11-09-2010, 11:25 AM
I agree with others also. I would (and have) now arrange your trips around the kids school schedules. It stinks but that is what you will need to do to have a family vacation.

loveadobie
11-09-2010, 12:04 PM
I would not have scheduled a family trip at a time it conflicts with school.

Priorities. Good for your daughter for thinking ahead.

OurDogCisco
11-09-2010, 12:12 PM
I'm always amazed when parents come to this realization. I too would never plan a vacation during school time. School is number one in our house. But what I find weird is that if a school was telling you couldn't vacation during school time you all be having a fit because someone else is telling you how to raise your children. Now, that your dd is telling you you aren't having any isssues with it. I'm not sure what the difference is. Anyways, I think it is very responsible for her to say it is too much to miss. I definitely go without her.

Just to let you know there are other cruise lines and other vacations that are much cheaper that you can take during school holidays. Just a thought...

Wadekind
11-09-2010, 12:15 PM
We used to love to vacation in September/October weather was good and prices were cheaper. We always took our kids out when they were younger but by the time the oldest reached 5th grade we could see that taking them out of school for more than a couple of days gave them way too much to make up and could really put them behind. Yes they could make up the book work but they would still miss the learning part that the teacher passed along in the classroom. One of ours has AP classes now and there is no way we could take him out for a week.

HappyontheLake
11-09-2010, 12:17 PM
That was one of the hard things we realized when we stopped homeschooling and switched to first a private school and now public school (happily each time). We were no longer able to vacation during the non peak, least expensive times. But ... we always maintained that are values were that God & family first, education second, everything else after that ... and yes that meant vacations came after education. So we have to save a little more and a little longer (and maybe take a cheaper room) to take that beloved vacation.

But we do not pull the kids out of school -- illnesses do that enough for us.

sjsjbrook
11-09-2010, 12:35 PM
I probably should have clarified:lmao: That would be BEST FRIEND , and I've already talked to her parents and they said it would be fine. Maddie is a straight A student and is already taking sophmore Eng, Math classes. Those classes have alot of homework. So I understand her not wanting to miss school. My second grader only had 7 papers to do last time, easy.

PHEWWWW I was really in shock for a moment.


I have never had my kids not want to join me on vacation in fact they are all looking forward to our next trip next year. (shhh it is during school though. teeheehee) I would say if she doesn't want to go and you are ok with her staying behind and you trust the family she is staying with, you just saved yourself some money. I know as a child I choose to stay behind with my grandparents instead of going on a vacation and I have never regretted it and I was much younger than 13.

Stinasmom
11-09-2010, 12:40 PM
I guess I am one who looks at the big picture...
How much work will my DD miss in a week (she's also in the 8th grade) and what will the future ramifications really be?

She's a great student and will make every effort to make up the work, even though just last night she cringed at the thought. But even if she gets a bit of a lower grade (A to A- in her case) in a class, its ONLY the 8th grade!

A week with her parents, brother and grandparents on the Disney Magic is .... MAGIC and will gain her memories and experiences that will take her much farther in life than 1 week of 8th grade work.
And, she's knows exactly what she'd be missing by not going, she LOVES DCL!

Now that said, as she gets into high school, I realize that her work and grades DO have future consequences... primarily getting into the college of her choice.
So, this (March) cruise will likely be the last where she will miss that much school.

It is totally a family decision. Everyone has to decide what is right for them. This is just my reasoning. :thumbsup2

Good luck!

Luvstocruise
11-09-2010, 12:52 PM
As long as her reasons are really the main ones, does the equation change if the boyfriend is asked to come along? Maybe a long shot, but if that was the case, it would be win/win situation for parents and the child. If there is room, the additional cost of adding a 4th passenger is not all that bad in many cases.

I am glad my 12 year old son can't wait to go on his first cruse. It doesn't hurt that we are going to be traveling with another family where he chums around with a boy his age. I can't help wondering if in some cases, where kids have been on 5 or more Disney cruises, especially if is to the same ports, etc. maybe they are sick of cruising? What is our dream vacation, may not be the child's - frankly my son couldn't care less about food, he'd eat burgers, fries, etc. Also, we don't have the bf gf dynamic to worry about with our son, but I can understand that relationships (as much as it may be puppy love) can be more important to young teens. Each kid is different I guess.

Luvstocruise

Anal Annie
11-09-2010, 02:01 PM
I also would never plan a week long vacation during the school year (DS is in 8th grade and is taking Honors Geometry so that comes first). I might plan for a flight that leaves in the late afternoon where I'd have to pick him up from school a little early or something if that's what I had to book. But I wouldn't plan to take him out for a week. He would hate the make-up work on top of his regular homework. We're hoping to get him into an APPS program next year in HS which considers not only grades but attendance so we're not even letting him swim in any meets with Friday events (it's a private team). Even though extra curricular sports would be excused by his school it would still be an absence on his attendance record. He's not going to the Jr. Olympics so he can swim whatever events are offered on Saturday & Sunday but I'm not pulling him out for Friday swims.

While I understand the OP's situation with the additional expense & DH's work I would just save longer & plan for a school holiday for vacations if my DH refused to vacation in the summer (or I'd go without him)!:rotfl:

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 02:55 PM
I would not have scheduled a family trip at a time it conflicts with school.

Priorities. Good for your daughter for thinking ahead.

I have priced them in the summer and it really IS NOT an option for us. I wish we had the money to go in the summer but it really is alot more expensive. Plus we always get the cheapest room possible anyway just so we can afford to go in Feb which is one of the cheapest times.If our only choice was cruising in summer then we wouldn't be able to go at all:(. I guess some families are lucky to have that luxury... others don't .I'm just happy to be able to take them in Feb . So please don't flame people because of their financial situations. I'm doing the best I can to give my kids what I never had as a child ...which was no vacation at all. I was 36 before I even saw the ocean or flew on a plane.I would gladly take them but am not going to force them to go.

loveadobie
11-09-2010, 03:08 PM
Even though she is in 8th grade, what is expected of her is a whole lot more than when we are in school.

Schools have lots of breaks through the year. Schools give out their school calendars early for time for planning.

If it is a family trip how much fun will she have worrying about making sure she gets her homework done. Even though she is out of class, the class moves on without her. Not a flame, just reality.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 03:10 PM
Our daughter has not joined us the last 2 years. Our son has a blast and is always ready to go. She has all AP and honors classes and does not like having to make up all that work. When we were young I was always ready to miss school.:cool2:

sounds like your daugheter knows whats best for her. let her stay home. \

disney will always be there. school is too important .

never i mean never take kids out of school to go on vacation.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 03:12 PM
Even though she is in 8th grade, what is expected of her is a whole lot more than when we are in school.

Schools have lots of breaks through the year. Schools give out their school calendars early for time for planning.

If it is a family trip how much fun will she have worrying about making sure she gets her homework done. Even though she is out of class, the class moves on without her. Not a flame, just reality.

alot more is expected out of kids today. plan your trips when the kids are out of school. don't go when its best for you. kids come first and so does school.

enough said.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 03:18 PM
why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

DMMarla07860
11-09-2010, 03:21 PM
Let her stay home, I know I didn't want to miss school and not because of work, I wanted to see my friends:lmao:

Lorajo
11-09-2010, 03:29 PM
I only have a toddler so I haven't dealt with the school issue yet. But, we always travel in January as it is the only time that we can take a full two weeks off due to our work. We work in the same small office and that is our quiet time. I'm very glad our quiet time isn't in March when it is so much more $$$ to travel!

Whether I will take our daughter out of school, I don't know yet. I was taken out as a child so I probably would. (Doesn't seem to be as big a deal here in Canada) However, if she couldn't miss school, I wouldn't just go without her. I would figure something else out. How are you giving your kids what you never had if they can't come?

If it wasn't a big deal to the teachers, I would take her out. Otherwise I would plan another vacation that we could afford when we could all go.

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 03:35 PM
why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

Even when we took them out of school last year they still got caught up and got straight A's . They just didn't like catching up. I think whatever the family can afford is better I'm not going to go into debt for a cruise...that would'nt benefit my family at all.I just feel blessed and fortunate to be able to take them when it's financially best for our family.I think just having that experience is what matters most.Alot of kids never even have the experience of traveling. If I didn't believe in school first my kids wouldn't be getting straight A's along with playing sports.

northyvr
11-09-2010, 03:38 PM
why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes education. What my 2 children have experienced first hand in terms of history and education while traveling Europe can't be replicated by sitting in a classroom. Don't be so quick to judge.

BTW, it should be "their" kids not "there". Your homophone is incorrect. :)

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 03:44 PM
This isn't about our schools not wanting them to go... They are OK with it...my teens JUST DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I did give them the experience I never had with our first cruise, I thought they would want to go again,They complained the whole time.Oldest 15 doesn't want to leave her friends or school. My 13yr old doesn't want to make up work and said even if she didn't have to make it up she still wouldn't want to go. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO GO . I was just asking if anyone else's teens didn't want to go with them .... I always thought this was a considerate forum....geez

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 03:45 PM
I was given the privilege of raising my three kids and I make the decisions on their behalf and in their best interest until they are adults and on their own. I would not give my child a choice in this matter. I am not going to repeat everything I've said in other posts but let's just say I never took breaks from school, got all A's, won scholarships, got into a great school and got a great job and all that stuff and REGRET being so serious all the time about it!! I wish we had taken more special trips when I was young! I seriously doubt a week here and there would have had any negative long-term effects AT ALL. :)

peachygreen
11-09-2010, 03:49 PM
This isn't about our schools not wanting them to go... They are OK with it...my teens JUST DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I did give them the experience I never had with our first cruise, I thought they would want to go again,They complained the whole time.Oldest 15 doesn't want to leave her friends or school. My 13yr old doesn't want to make up work and said even if she didn't have to make it up she still wouldn't want to go. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO GO . I was just asking if anyone else's teens didn't want to go with them .... I always thought this was a considerate forum....geez

I just have to ask, if they dont' want to go and will spend the entire vacation grumbling about it, why not plan a family vacation that your teens will want to do with you? I've seen it said many times that cruising isn't for everyone, why do "we" assume that our children should enjoy it if "we" don't expect all adults to enjoy it? Is there something or somewhere your girls would rather go or do they just not want to do a family vacation period? If it is the later I would say tough but if it is just that a cruise was not a fun/enjoyable experience I don't know that I would want to spend the money again for them to not have fun/enjoy it?

Anal Annie
11-09-2010, 03:51 PM
I have priced them in the summer and it really IS NOT an option for us. I wish we had the money to go in the summer but it really is alot more expensive. Plus we always get the cheapest room possible anyway just so we can afford to go in Feb which is one of the cheapest times.If our only choice was cruising in summer then we wouldn't be able to go at all:(. I guess some families are lucky to have that luxury... others don't .I'm just happy to be able to take them in Feb . So please don't flame people because of their financial situations. I'm doing the best I can to give my kids what I never had as a child ...which was no vacation at all. I was 36 before I even saw the ocean or flew on a plane.I would gladly take them but am not going to force them to go.

The cost of a summer vacation is one factor we must consider too. That's why we don't cruise every year like a lot of DISers but rather about once every 3 years and we try to book SPH cabins. We take a long time inbetween to save & plan - and we're only 3 people. It's still a lot for our measley budget. This next time we're taking advantage of a rebooking discount that we pushed & moved over & over until we felt we could afford to use it. Just a suggestion for next time. Rebook onboard for the discount & OBC - book a dummy date & keep moving it forward until you CAN afford to go when the whole family can go with other obligations weighing you down.

BTW you're not the only one who didn't grow up with major family vacations. My family tent camped & fished for a week on the South Branch of the Potomac river EVERY FREAKIN' summer when I was kid - finally when I was in HS my parents sprung for a 17' camper. :woohoo: WHOO HOO - no more wet sleeping bags or outhouses.:rolleyes: This did not make up for the fact that I still hated camping & fishing - especially by the time I was about 16. But no matter how bad I hated it NOT going was NOT an option. I'm just saying... Most of us have been there in one way or another.

KSDisneyDad
11-09-2010, 03:57 PM
This isn't about our schools not wanting them to go... They are OK with it...my teens JUST DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I did give them the experience I never had with our first cruise, I thought they would want to go again,They complained the whole time.Oldest 15 doesn't want to leave her friends or school. My 13yr old doesn't want to make up work and said even if she didn't have to make it up she still wouldn't want to go. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO GO . I was just asking if anyone else's teens didn't want to go with them .... I always thought this was a considerate forum....geez

For the most part, it's been a considerate discussion. I found out a long time ago, that not everyone agrees with my opinions. :confused3 I don't take it personally anymore and actually enjoy a good debate, and these boards usually keep personal attacks out of it. Your original post was obviously interpreted quite differently than you intended by most everyone on here. It seemed to be more of a question about missing schoolwork than simply not wanting to go. It sounds like your question would still apply even if you could go during the summer.

Anyway, to answer your question. Nope. Our teens love going on vacations with us as a family. We cherish these times together. They actually prefer cruises over WDW as they get some time "away" from Mom & Dad as well as getting to spend some time together on excursions, at dinners, shows, etc. They can't wait to go on the Fantasy and are actually disappointed we postponed our "Dream" vacation in 2011 to wait until 2012 for a 7-night cruise. We're going to WDW in 2011 with my parents and they think it's great that Grandma and Grandpa are joining us.

I think your teens will be disappointed in the long run. Is there anything else that you can do as a family that they'd enjoy such as a trip to the Beach, Mountains, etc.?

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 03:59 PM
I have asked them if they would do a Carnival cruise .They said they just didn't like "family vacations" . With my two youngest ones I would rather not take them on a Carnival , I just don't think it's little kid friendly....just an assumption though, never been on Carnival before. Just getting that info from here. We used to go camping too never out of state though, when I was a teen I opted out of going. I did not want to go camping with my parents. yuck.

Anal Annie
11-09-2010, 04:08 PM
I have asked them if they would do a Carnival cruise .They said they just didn't like "family vacations" . With my two youngest ones I would rather not take them on a Carnival , I just don't think it's little kid friendly....just an assumption though, never been on Carnival before. Just getting that info from here. We used to go camping too never out of state though, when I was a teen I opted out of going. I did not want to go camping with my parents. yuck.

I agree with KSDisneyDad - it sounds like your original post was lacking in some details.:rolleyes: Like I said in my last post, NOT going was NOT an option when I was growing up. Family vacations were family vacations regardless of how elaborate (or not) that they were. Kids these days get too much freedom & parents give in too easily. They know all they have to do is whine a little bit & they get their way. If my kid whines & he gets a double dose of whatever it is he's whining about. 13 is too young for you to give in. She needs to accept that YOU ARE THE MOM. Try not planning any more vacations & see how she likes sitting home 52 weeks a year.

jjgarv
11-09-2010, 04:18 PM
why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

While this may be a clear-cut, right/wrong issue in your mind doesn't mean that it's the same for everyone else. It's great that you have established the priorities for your family, but different families have different priorities. We all must make decisions and do what is best for our own families. What is abundantly clear is that this is one topic that folks feel strongly about both ways...most likely because they feel that those on the other side are judging them. Live and let live, people. Parenting is hard enough...

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 04:25 PM
The cost of a summer vacation is one factor we must consider too. That's why we don't cruise every year like a lot of DISers but rather about once every 3 years and we try to book SPH cabins. We take a long time inbetween to save & plan - and we're only 3 people. It's still a lot for our measley budget. This next time we're taking advantage of a rebooking discount that we pushed & moved over & over until we felt we could afford to use it. Just a suggestion for next time. Rebook onboard for the discount & OBC - book a dummy date & keep moving it forward until you CAN afford to go when the whole family can go with other obligations weighing you down.

BTW you're not the only one who didn't grow up with major family vacations. My family tent camped & fished for a week on the South Branch of the Potomac river EVERY FREAKIN' summer when I was kid - finally when I was in HS my parents sprung for a 17' camper. :woohoo: WHOO HOO - no more wet sleeping bags or outhouses.:rolleyes: This did not make up for the fact that I still hated camping & fishing - especially by the time I was about 16. But no matter how bad I hated it NOT going was NOT an option. I'm just saying... Most of us have been there in one way or another.

I do plan on booking a "dummy date" next year and cruising every other year , then maybe we would be able to do something different.But they still probably wouldn't want to go. Sometimes it sucks when your kids grow up :)

breakingd_awn
11-09-2010, 04:32 PM
I agree with KSDisneyDad - it sounds like your original post was lacking in some details.:rolleyes: Like I said in my last post, NOT going was NOT an option when I was growing up. Family vacations were family vacations regardless of how elaborate (or not) that they were. Kids these days get too much freedom & parents give in too easily. They know all they have to do is whine a little bit & they get their way. If my kid whines & he gets a double dose of whatever it is he's whining about. 13 is too young for you to give in. She needs to accept that YOU ARE THE MOM. Try not planning any more vacations & see how she likes sitting home 52 weeks a year.

I agree I left out details especially when they thought she was staying with a boyfriend:) I just didn't want it to be a long winded post. Just a simple question about teens not wanting to go. I should have been more clear. But that said her main reason was school and she said she also just didn't want to go. I know peole weren't personally attacking me , A few just made me feel bad for not having the money to go on vacation in the summer.

momx2
11-09-2010, 04:53 PM
I don't think anyone was trying to make you feel bad about not being able to afford the summer. Vacations in the summer don't have to be an expensive Disney cruise.

I'm trying to look at it from your DDs' perspectives. First, they didn't really like it the first time, but you rebooked anyway. Second, they have to make up all the work for something they don't want to do. I wouldn't want to go either. I still think you should plan a vacation that your older girls would like, maybe there isn't one at this point, but I would ask them to help you plan a vacation the next time.

scamper45
11-09-2010, 06:55 PM
Twinge of pain & anxiety just thinking about my DD telling me someday that she doesn't want to go. DD is 6, and we are getting ready to set sail on her 7th DCL. Yep, she is spoiled. In fact, we aren't even telling her this time, just surprising her. Our DD is an only, so this family vacation works perfect for us as she spends time with kids her own age. We are actually taking her out of school for a week (did it last year too). While she is only in 1st grade, the accelerated pace of her work, we have already made arrangements to get her work ahead of time to do on the ship.

Whatever decision you make for your family is the one that will work. I can respect a teen not wanting to fall behind in school work...that would make me very proud as a parent. If you have a responsible adult/family willing to take them in for the week, it may be the best experience for all.

My Mom just passed away in June, and my Dad is within his final days as well. My fondest memories that I have been recollecting are the family vacations...yes, the ones I didn't necessarily want to go on. These memories are something to carry me through the hard days. I remember not wanting to go camping in some of the National Parks out west...now these are memories I will cherish forever!

Good luck!

I can so relate with u. I have an only who is almost 13 she still gets excited about Disney. We leave 11/20 on the magic and she is taking a friend this time! My fondest memories of growing up were all the trips! My first trip after my father passed was to disney and my daughter was not even 2. Since than we have been to WDW more times than i can count, Disneyland 5 times and this is our sixth disney cruise. Her 7th grade Language arts project was on Walt Disney! It is a truly Magical experience.....and your kids will thank u someday for all the memories!

grlzmom
11-09-2010, 07:18 PM
While this may be a clear-cut, right/wrong issue in your mind doesn't mean that it's the same for everyone else. It's great that you have established the priorities for your family, but different families have different priorities. We all must make decisions and do what is best for our own families. What is abundantly clear is that this is one topic that folks feel strongly about both ways...most likely because they feel that those on the other side are judging them. Live and let live, people. Parenting is hard enough...

I'm in agreement here :)

Mindyjoy
11-09-2010, 07:57 PM
Just my two cents on this matter ... when I was this age, starting at around 13 or 14, I refused to go on any family vacations, partly because I totally thought my parents were, like, SO UNCOOL, but also because I had two very little brothers (9 and 12 years younger than me, respectively) and quite frankly I didn't really care for them. haha. I love my brothers now, though.

Anyway, my parents let me stay home alone ONLY because my grandparents lived four houses down from us, and my family was never gone for more than 3 or 4 nights.

The moral of the story is, now I wished they had forced me to go with them. I can't afford or have the time to take many vacations (next year will be my first vacation in 5 years), and my parents go on trips now and don't invite their kids! :rotfl:

Now that I'm older I wish I had spent more time with my family, since I rarely see them now.

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do or how to run their family, I just wanted to share my perspective. :hippie:

KSDisneyDad
11-09-2010, 08:06 PM
Just my two cents on this matter ... when I was this age, starting at around 13 or 14, I refused to go on any family vacations, partly because I totally thought my parents were, like, SO UNCOOL, but also because I had two very little brothers (9 and 12 years younger than me, respectively) and quite frankly I didn't really care for them. haha. I love my brothers now, though.

Anyway, my parents let me stay home alone ONLY because my grandparents lived four houses down from us, and my family was never gone for more than 3 or 4 nights.

The moral of the story is, now I wished they had forced me to go with them. I can't afford or have the time to take many vacations (next year will be my first vacation in 5 years), and my parents go on trips now and don't invite their kids! :rotfl:

Now that I'm older I wish I had spent more time with my family, since I rarely see them now.

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do or how to run their family, I just wanted to share my perspective. :hippie:

Thank you for posting this. I agree with you completely. Unfortunately, life isn't full of a lot of do-overs!

college_student
11-09-2010, 08:10 PM
I agree with KSDisneyDad - it sounds like your original post was lacking in some details.:rolleyes: Like I said in my last post, NOT going was NOT an option when I was growing up. Family vacations were family vacations regardless of how elaborate (or not) that they were. Kids these days get too much freedom & parents give in too easily. They know all they have to do is whine a little bit & they get their way. If my kid whines & he gets a double dose of whatever it is he's whining about. 13 is too young for you to give in. She needs to accept that YOU ARE THE MOM. Try not planning any more vacations & see how she likes sitting home 52 weeks a year.

I find this thread absolutely interesting. As you may have guessed, I am a college student. I'm a junior in a state university going into elementary education in Michigan. This is just to give a little background knowledge of my perspective of the taking-the-kids-out-of-school-for-a-week issue.

While I can understand the desire for a family vacation for a week, even when sacrificing school for it, I do not agree with it. School is far too important for students to miss. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be taken out for a day if they're sick. They should because you don't want to spread the sickness onto other kids. I'm saying it's wrong to take the kids out for a week for a vacation. There are plenty of options for a family vacation during the summer. If the family cannot afford DCL during the summer, then there are other cheaper options for cruises (Carnival and Royal Caribbean). My family went on Carnival and Royal Caribbean cruises for a few years because we wanted to have family time together, but we couldn't afford to take a DCL vacation during the summer and I wasn't going to take a week out of school. If cruises are still not an option for you, go to the beach. Go camping. There are other cheaper options that don't involve taking your kids out of school for a week during the school year.

Beyond this, I just wanted to point out one other thing that my title alludes to. Parents are always complaining about their teenagers "not caring" about school or the world. It's always "my kid's such an idiot" or "my kid's too worried about her boyfriend to care about school". Parents of teenagers know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying it's not warranted. Sometimes teenagers just do pretty stupid things. However, in this case, it seems like this woman's daughter actually cares about her schoolwork. She doesn't have her head in the clouds. Even when her teachers tell her it's okay to miss school, she still wants to. Boy, do I wish I saw that kind of maturity in high schoolers today!!! It's amazing! And what are some parents on this board doing? They're saying that the mom ultimately makes the decision and what do kids want today. Instead of crying for joy because they're kid actually cares about school, and trying to make alternative arrangements for the family vacation during a more appropriate time, they're yelling about their kid. As a student, I can't believe that. I have always been told to put my schoolwork before anything. Now, the moment that a kid does, and a parent should be overjoyed because they normally complain about their kid, instead they're angry because they don't know what the kid wants. Huh??? Someone please explain this to me. I blame this on parental inconsistencies. Instead of being overjoyed that their teenager actually cares about school, they're mad because the teenager doesn't want to miss school because of vacation.

Don't get me wrong. I am a huge supporter of family vacations. Even as a college student, during the one week between spring and summer semesters, I still continue to take a cruise vacation with my family. However, does it conflict with my school??? No. We make sure it doesn't. We have fun when it's appropriate. I truly understand why breakingd_awn wants to have a family vacation. However, I believe she needs to reexamine her priorities.

kylieh
11-09-2010, 08:12 PM
If your DD feels it's too tough to make up the work then it isn't fair on her. It's not a day, but a week. Plus the packing, time zone changes (assuming) etc.

A different perspective - put her fare from this and future years towards a trip, a mum and daughter trip, for when she finished high school, or a future summer vacation.

pearlieq
11-09-2010, 08:13 PM
School is far too important for students to miss.

Some things are more important than school.

Also, for some students, school isn't all that important--at least not for the occasional week.

college_student
11-09-2010, 08:35 PM
Some things are more important than school.

Also, for some students, school isn't all that important--at least not for the occasional week.

I'm not trying to be rude here, but that's the kind of attitude that has the US slipping in worldwide education ratings worldwide. Globally, the US education system is very low. Why? One of the major reasons is because of the attitude that school isn't all that important- at least not for the occasional week. Tell that to a Japanese student. Japan has one of the best education systems in the world. In Japan, "Except for the lower grades of elementary school, it is usual to average 6 hours of school a day on weekdays, one of the longest school days in the world. Even after school lets out, the children have drills and other homework to keep them busy. Vacations are 6 weeks in the summer and about 2 weeks each for winter and spring breaks. There is often homework over these vacations" About.com The Japanese Education System - Education in Japan
I can guarantee you that Japanese students aren't taking a week off to go on a Disney cruise. Once again, parental inconsistencies.

Look for some overall worldwide education statistics. They're all over the internet. Unfortunately, I can't post the URL because I haven't had 10 posts.

Mindyjoy
11-09-2010, 08:43 PM
College_student, with all respect I disagree with you. If planned ahead and discussed with the teachers, missing one week of school will have little effect on the student's education. Some people cannot afford to take vacations over spring break or summer while rates are sky high. I am a little older than college age, but I am currently a senior in college and I also work full time. Sometimes I have to miss class due to my job or family responsibilities and I still have a 4.0 GPA. Life happens. If handled responsibily, it will be okay.

And for the record, I would be willing to bet money that OP's DD is using missing school as an excuse because she simply doesn't want to go on vacation with her family. No offense, OP. ;) :laughing: I'm sure DD is a good student and it WOULD take a bit of extra work to stay caught up in class, but it wouldn't be a DISASTER.

sunkisser
11-09-2010, 08:45 PM
It must be a horrible situation for you knowing your daughter doesn't want to go, whatever the reasons are. I think you have to decide if you will have a fun time without her, or whether you could put up with the sulking if she goes.
In the UK we don't really have the option of taking them out during school time any more (although it does vary from school to school). Our school sent out a letter the other day stating that they will not give permission for vacations unless it is exceptional circumstances. If we don't have permission the local education authority can fine us (around $100 per child) for every week they are away! My DDs are in 5th and 7th grade!

pearlieq
11-09-2010, 08:50 PM
Look--passion is great, but don't let it devolve into myopia.

I would not want to live like a Japanese student, nor would I particularly want that for my child. There are as many downsides as upsides.

There is more to life than work and school. There is more than studying and tests and the comfortable bubble of a daily routine. A child needs to learn to balance all of their priorities and to think critically about their own choices, not just slavishly follow.

I certainly don't need about.com and Googled statistics to evaluate an individual child's situation. There are definitely kids who are struggling who should never be taken out of school. And I don't necessarily agree with taking a child out often, but I still maintain that a week out in the world is at least as educational as a week in class.

But what would I know, given that I was taken out of school several times as a kid? I in no way won a full academic scholarship and became a productive citizen. No...I'm just the dumbest member of my prison gang...and I'm also responsible for the educational decline of America. :rolleyes1

loveadobie
11-09-2010, 08:56 PM
Good post college student. What you said is very true. There is a decline with our US rankings globally in science, math, and reading. Probably not surprising that so many US companies are outsourcing.

Mindyjoy
11-09-2010, 09:07 PM
No...I'm just the dumbest member of my prison gang...and I'm also responsible for the educational decline of America. :rolleyes1

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

Good post college student. What you said is very true. There is a decline with our US rankings globally in science, math, and reading. Probably not surprising that so many US companies are outsourcing.

Companies are outsourcing to save money (or pay their CEO's that much more money), not because there is a lack of educated workers in America.

Mindyjoy
11-09-2010, 09:09 PM
In the UK we don't really have the option of taking them out during school time any more (although it does vary from school to school). Our school sent out a letter the other day stating that they will not give permission for vacations unless it is exceptional circumstances. If we don't have permission the local education authority can fine us (around $100 per child) for every week they are away! My DDs are in 5th and 7th grade!

:scared1: Yikes, a fine?!?! I can understand SUGGESTING that parents do not take their kids out of school, but to actually fine them seems a little harsh. JMO

loveadobie
11-09-2010, 09:16 PM
:lmao::lmao::lmao:



Companies are outsourcing to save money (or pay their CEO's that much more money), not because there is a lack of educated workers in America.



Microsoft’s Bill Gates asks for more visas
Gates tells Congress investment in math, science education vital

Advertisement | ad info
The Associated Press
updated 3/12/2008 4:39:14 PM ET 2008-03-12T20:39:14


WASHINGTON — More investment in math and science education and a more liberal policy toward skilled foreign workers are crucial if America is to avoid losing its competitive edge in the world, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates told Congress Wednesday.

The shortage of scientists and engineers is so acute that “we must do both: reform our education system and our immigration policies. If we don’t American companies simply will not have the talent to innovate and compete,” Gates said in testimony to the House Science Committee.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:18 PM
Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes education. What my 2 children have experienced first hand in terms of history and education while traveling Europe can't be replicated by sitting in a classroom. Don't be so quick to judge.

BTW, it should be "their" kids not "there". Your homophone is incorrect. :)

sorry abt the grammer.

you missed the point.

now retired...but the first thing my employer wanted to see was my attendance records. poor attendance adds up to a bad employee.

my son just started at a supermarket.

he was asked how was his school attendance.

his attendance was perfect 3yrs into high school.

by the way 3 yrs in a row he vacationed in disney.

internship program next summer at disney (college).

they wanted to know abt his high school attendance.


my point is vacation can wait or is it that's when mom and dad want to go and there a little selfish and want to go when it's good for them.

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 09:24 PM
on the flip side...I once lost a job opportunity because at interview time I was asked what I had done for fun or hobby lately and had little to offer because my head was always in a book.

Look - with all due respect, I think once you become a parent you see things a little differently. The world wants to take our precious little ones and make them grow up all too quickly. Nearly half of my family has been involved in the educational system for their entire careers and we live in one of the best school systems in the country. I am a part-time teacher myself. Nevertheless, I have heard many stories and can ASSURE you that if you put all your faith and allegiance in the educational system alone, you are misguided.

Schooling makes you well-schooled.

The rest of what your parents show you and what you make of it once you leave their care is the real education.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:25 PM
employers look at school attendance. don't let anyone kid you. poor attendance in school and you may not get past the application. i spent 32 1/2 yrs same company and now retired.


attendance was very importand to both craft and mgmt. i saw people fired for poor attendance. please don't take your kids out of school because mom and dad want to go on vacation. wait and take them on school breaks and if cost more .. cut the vacation time from 2 -3 weeks to 1-2 weeks.

or dare i say stay at a value resort.

Butterx3
11-09-2010, 09:29 PM
I think since the OP stated that her girls didn't want to go regardless of homework, then they should be givin the option to stay home. My son (15) told me that last year, was the last one where could miss any school, because it is just too hard to make up the work. We have always taken vacations over a school break, so my kids have never missed more than 3 days of school to go. However... he did not say he didn't want to go on vacation. Therefore we are opting to do a 4 night cruise in August, instead of the 7 night I would prefer to take in October. Even then, August is more expensive, so I try to pick up extra shifts at my job. Every family has different priorities and values. Do what works best for your family. Enjoy the wonder and enchantment of DCL with your younger children, it doesn't sound like your older daughters are begrudging the younger children the trip. Maybe in the summer you could take a cheaper trip that isn't a cruise all together. I appreciate that my child knows his limits and doesn't want to be overwhelmed when we come back. Especially with pre calculous and Algebra. My parents take our family and my brother's family on a vacation every other year, they are retired and everyday is Saturday to them. It gets hard to get them to understand the school concept. It is something we will have to deal with next year, as my son doesn't want to miss any school, I can't imagine having him stay home, so I hope my parents will get it.

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 09:36 PM
employers look at school attendance. don't let anyone kid you. poor attendance in school and you may not get past the application. i spent 32 1/2 yrs same company and now retired.


attendance was very importand to both craft and mgmt. i saw people fired for poor attendance. please don't take your kids out of school because mom and dad want to go on vacation. wait and take them on school breaks and if cost more .. cut the vacation time from 2 -3 weeks to 1-2 weeks.

or dare i say stay at a value resort.

College transcripts, yes, and perhaps HS records if you did not attend college. I seriously doubt any employer would ever consider holding elementary or middle school attendance against you and likely would not even remotely have access to that information. Presumably most lower school attendance decisions are made by parents, not the minors themselves...or if they are playing "hooky" then the parents are still considered responsible. I can't imagine it would be legal to discriminate against a 25 year old applying for a job because his or her parents allowed truancy when he/she was 15! Furthermore, you'd be hard pressed to find an employer who would consider a weeklong vacation here or there to be any evidence of disqualification.

KSDisneyDad
11-09-2010, 09:36 PM
Wow this thread got off topic. The OP clarified that missing the vacation had absolutely nothing to do with missing school- it's simply a teen that doesn't want to go on a family vacation.

There have been lots of threads on missing school for vacations and that's a personal decision that depends on the family & school. We don't need to rehash IMO. The OP just wants to know how many teen don't want to go on vacation with their families whether or not it's in the summer, spring break etc.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:41 PM
College transcripts, yes, and perhaps HS records if you did not attend college. I seriously doubt any employer would ever consider holding elementary or middle school attendance against you and likely would not even remotely have access to that information. Presumably most lower school attendance decisions are made by parents, not the minors themselves...or if they are playing "hooky" then the parents are still considered responsible. I can't imagine it would be legal to discriminate against a 25 year old applying for a job because his or her parents allowed truancy when he/she was 15! Furthermore, you'd be hard pressed to find an employer who would consider a weeklong vacation here or there to be any evidence of disqualification.

poor attendance patterns start in elementary school when the parents pull the kids out of school for vacation..they continue the pattern.

high school attendance is important. my son started working at at a supermarket and they wanted to know about is school attendance before they hired him.


don't start a poor attendance pattern with school or your job...it will cost you in the end.

vacations can always wait...we call have enough time where anyone can swing a couple of days or even a week together.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:43 PM
Wow this thread got off topic. The OP clarified that missing the vacation had absolutely nothing to do with missing school- it's simply a teen that doesn't want to go on a family vacation.

There have been lots of threads on missing school for vacations and that's a personal decision that depends on the family & school. We don't need to rehash IMO. The OP just wants to know how many teen don't want to go on vacation with their families whether or not it's in the summer, spring break etc.

yes your right but this topic kinda branches off of what the op started.

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 09:45 PM
Well, to answer the OP's question (and I apologize for my off-topic contributions) I say hold a family meeting and list out all the pros and cons of taking a cruise, including monetary, social and school-related concerns. When all has been discussed, take a vote and the majority wins. The caveat here is that Mom and Dad get unlimited veto power because in the end, parenting is not a democracy .....and the children do not pay for the vacations.

I hope it all works out great in the end!!

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 09:47 PM
poor attendance patterns start in elementary school when the parents pull the kids out of school for vacation..they continue the pattern.

high school attendance is important. my son started working at at a supermarket and they wanted to know about is school attendance before they hired him.


don't start a poor attendance pattern with school or your job...it will cost you in the end.

vacations can always wait...we call have enough time where anyone can swing a couple of days or even a week together.

I'm sorry but this is patently false. An employer would be looking for evidence of irresponsibility. A child whose parents take him or her out for an occasional vacation during school is not going to grow up to *become* irresponsible because of that!!

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:48 PM
Well, to answer the OP's question (and I apologize for my off-topic contributions) I say hold a family meeting and list out all the pros and cons of taking a cruise, including monetary, social and school-related concerns. When all has been discussed, take a vote and the majority wins. The caveat here is that Mom and Dad get unlimited veto power because in the end, parenting is not a democracy .....and the children do not pay for the vacations.

I hope it all works out great in the end!!

why vote...why have a family meeting if mom and dad hold all the cards.

point is never miss school,never fake sick for work or school...and take the vacation when kids can relax and know it's a real vacation.

Mindyjoy
11-09-2010, 09:50 PM
Microsoft’s Bill Gates asks for more visas
Gates tells Congress investment in math, science education vital

Advertisement | ad info
The Associated Press
updated 3/12/2008 4:39:14 PM ET 2008-03-12T20:39:14


WASHINGTON — More investment in math and science education and a more liberal policy toward skilled foreign workers are crucial if America is to avoid losing its competitive edge in the world, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates told Congress Wednesday.

The shortage of scientists and engineers is so acute that “we must do both: reform our education system and our immigration policies. If we don’t American companies simply will not have the talent to innovate and compete,” Gates said in testimony to the House Science Committee.

This article has nothing to do with outsourcing.

poor attendance patterns start in elementary school when the parents pull the kids out of school for vacation..they continue the pattern.

high school attendance is important. my son started working at at a supermarket and they wanted to know about is school attendance before they hired him.


don't start a poor attendance pattern with school or your job...it will cost you in the end.

vacations can always wait...we call have enough time where anyone can swing a couple of days or even a week together.

Employers don't care about missing a week of school for vacation. They care about a pattern of truancy, which shows a lack of responsibility. At least this is what I was concerned about as a hiring manager.


I agree with the above poster, this thread has gotten off topic, and I know I am contributing to it but sometimes it's tough to keep my fingers off the keyboard when I see something I disagree with. :laughing:

The OP has probably already given up on this thread! :rotfl:

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:50 PM
I'm sorry but this is patently false. An employer would be looking for evidence of irresponsibility. A child whose parents take him or her out for an occasional vacation during school is not going to grow up to *become* irresponsible because of that!!

show attendance patterns of 10-20 days of missed school and you won't get your foot in the door.

tinkerbellmom1
11-09-2010, 09:52 PM
Once my kids reach high school, they make the decision whether or not they can miss the school work and still keep the grades up.

That said, almost always they pick the cruise, even when it involves an extended absence or missing something special at school.

We don't do vacations near end of 9 weeks grading periods or at standardized testing or AP exam time.

Our family does the same thing. We have taken our boys out of middle and high school for cruising 3 times. They have never declined a Disney trip, although they have opted out of hunting trips.

Last year during our oldest son's senior year (with multiple AP classes) we spent a few days at Disney World and then took the Eastern cruise, we just planned in advance with his teachers and he did what he could before the trip and then we worked on homework during the flights and during the down times at DW. No trouble at all making up the work and keeping up his grades.

Just after we returned from the cruise he interviewed with our local congressman and senators and he received his appointment to the United States Military Academy at West Point. We just planned our youngest's senior trip for next year - same trip, but older brother will not be joining us. He'll be in his second year and busy with classes.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, we all make the decisions that are right for our families. It's important for all of us to respect the decisions that our Dis friends make.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 09:52 PM
we should get back on track. my fault if i started getting off topic..but attendance is a sore subject with me...when i see people abuse it .

KSDisneyDad
11-09-2010, 09:52 PM
yes your right but this topic kinda branches off of what the op started.

I don't disagree - I just think that the OP had a good question that differs from where this thread ended up going. She even apologized for the inadvertent confusion. I just think that the whole missing school issue is one of those topics that no matter how passionate you are about your position, you're not going to change anyone's mind.

I was hoping to veer this thread back to the topic the OP wanted addressed and not just a forum for soapbox lectures.

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 09:53 PM
why vote...why have a family meeting if mom and dad hold all the cards.

point is never miss school,never fake sick for work or school...and take the vacation when kids can relax and know it's a real vacation.

The family discussion is so that everyone gets to hear and be respectful of the opinions and concerns of all involved. It could very well work the other way too - a child who is feeling reluctant may come around and embrace the trip once they see all the pros listed out.

My 3 children are all under age 10 so we don't do this just yet. What Mom and Dad say, goes. I can see it being a good thing to do as they grow and start to have more specific opinions about things. That doesn't mean they will get their way, but we will be more willing to listen to their perspective as they grow more mature.

Not one soul here was suggesting that anyone "fake sick" or miss work. Those are entirely different topics. The fact is that for every school that discourages vacations, there are plenty that support and even encourage them.

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 10:00 PM
Employers don't care about missing a week of school for vacation. They care about a pattern of truancy, which shows a lack of responsibility. At least this is what I was concerned about as a hiring manager.


this was written by a previous poster. just curious what she considers poor attendance at school. missing 10 days or more at work may cost you your job in certain companies.

or maybe the college of your choice.

Mindyjoy
11-09-2010, 10:04 PM
Employers don't care about missing a week of school for vacation. They care about a pattern of truancy, which shows a lack of responsibility. At least this is what I was concerned about as a hiring manager.


this was written by a previous poster. just curious what she considers poor attendance at school. missing 10 days or more at work may cost you your job in certain companies.

or maybe the college of your choice.

There's a huge difference between missing 5 days of school for a planned vacation, and missing 10 days of school because you're a slacker.

clawmachine
11-09-2010, 10:06 PM
Employers don't care about missing a week of school for vacation. They care about a pattern of truancy, which shows a lack of responsibility. At least this is what I was concerned about as a hiring manager.


this was written by a previous poster. just curious what she considers poor attendance at school. missing 10 days or more at work may cost you your job in certain companies.

or maybe the college of your choice.

??? I am just really confused by your constant reference to work situations. Many if not most employers allow for some vacation time, whether paid or not. Of course you'll get fired if you simply do not show up for work - that's a no-brainer. ENTIRELY different situation than a parent taking a child out of school for a week with notice given!

And to answer your previous question, also unrelated, yes I do work. I have been a software engineer for 16 years and I also teach part-time in addition to a variety of volunteer jobs and parenting 3 kids. And now I need to get to bed for said job which starts at 6 am. I did appreciate the lively discussion though!! :)

disney11fan
11-09-2010, 10:13 PM
??? I am just really confused by your constant reference to work situations. Many if not most employers allow for some vacation time, whether paid or not. Of course you'll get fired if you simply do not show up for work - that's a no-brainer. ENTIRELY different situation than a parent taking a child out of school for a week with notice given!

And to answer your previous question, also unrelated, yes I do work. I have been a software engineer for 16 years and I also teach part-time in addition to a variety of volunteer jobs and parenting 3 kids. And now I need to get to bed for said job which starts at 6 am. I did appreciate the lively discussion though!! :)

the point is have poor attendance patterns in school (miss school 10-20 days a year) and you won't have to worry...no one will hire you . don't take your kids out of school for a vacation it can wait till there off from school period.

pearlieq
11-09-2010, 11:13 PM
no one will hire you

Frankly, if anyone ever did refuse to hire someone because they missed a week of their sophomore year, it would be a blessing--who wants to work for an idiot?

There are plenty of potentially valid arguments for not taking kids out of school. There's no reason to go inventing silly ones.

grlzmom
11-10-2010, 10:24 AM
the point is have poor attendance patterns in school (miss school 10-20 days a year) and you won't have to worry...no one will hire you . don't take your kids out of school for a vacation it can wait till there off from school period.

I'm going to strongly disagree with this. My two oldest dd20 and dd19 both missed way more than 10 days of school a year all through high school.

Not once when applying to school or applying for employment (including for the Disney College Program) was their high school attendance questioned.

Both received academic scholarships and both are employed.

One is currently in the Disney College Program working in entertainment and now of course with their college and work schedules, vacations and time off are extremely limited.

My own personal experience has been that neither of my older dd have been negatively impacted by taking time off during their high school years. Both of have said and will say that they don't regret a single school day missed.

Dicecatt
11-10-2010, 11:18 AM
Which one do you think would be the best reflection of childhood as an adult?

Memories of family time, visiting place like Rome or Egypt, all while maintaining excellent grades despite missing school. Learning things about different currencies, languages, traditions...having meals in countries with different food types and experiences...all the photographic memories of visiting exotic places like Monaco or Russia. Or even visits to Nassau and Castaway Cay.


OR

A perfect attendance certificate? Perhaps even framed?

None of what has been debated regarding attendance has anything to do with the OPs original question. In addition, some of you with perfect attendance? May need to revisit some grammar classes. You sit in judgment about the OP, I'm pretty sure that you should judge not, least you be judged.

grlzmom
11-10-2010, 11:32 AM
Just after we returned from the cruise he interviewed with our local congressman and senators and he received his appointment to the United States Military Academy at West Point. We just planned our youngest's senior trip for next year - same trip, but older brother will not be joining us. He'll be in his second year and busy with classes.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, we all make the decisions that are right for our families. It's important for all of us to respect the decisions that our Dis friends make.

I forgot to post, congratulations on your sons appointment to the Military Academy at West Point. That is quite an accomplishment! I hope he is doing well in his Freshman Year!

breakingd_awn
11-10-2010, 11:48 AM
Op here:)...just wanted to say WOW!!! :scared1: Who would have that my original post would be this popular:) I do have to say that I'm not selfish. My husband and I sacrafice alot for our kids. When I told DH the cost of our last cruise he said, " That could have bought a really nice zero turn mower" ;)

disney11fan
11-10-2010, 11:58 AM
our the parents trying to live thru there kids. the kids are in school for a reason..to learn..you can't learn if your not there. vacations can wait to school is on break.

you can't justify taking the kids out of school period. so what there A students ..you set a poor example when you tell them it's all right not to go.

again would you blow off your job... (fake sick) and then go on vacation.. i hope not ..because if you did i would fire you on your return.


school should be the same way. your there to learn.

to the parents that do...your living life with blinders on..:cool2:

Anal Annie
11-10-2010, 11:59 AM
I find this thread absolutely interesting. As you may have guessed, I am a college student. I'm a junior in a state university going into elementary education in Michigan. This is just to give a little background knowledge of my perspective of the taking-the-kids-out-of-school-for-a-week issue.

While I can understand the desire for a family vacation for a week, even when sacrificing school for it, I do not agree with it. School is far too important for students to miss. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be taken out for a day if they're sick. They should because you don't want to spread the sickness onto other kids. I'm saying it's wrong to take the kids out for a week for a vacation. There are plenty of options for a family vacation during the summer. If the family cannot afford DCL during the summer, then there are other cheaper options for cruises (Carnival and Royal Caribbean). My family went on Carnival and Royal Caribbean cruises for a few years because we wanted to have family time together, but we couldn't afford to take a DCL vacation during the summer and I wasn't going to take a week out of school. If cruises are still not an option for you, go to the beach. Go camping. There are other cheaper options that don't involve taking your kids out of school for a week during the school year.

Beyond this, I just wanted to point out one other thing that my title alludes to. Parents are always complaining about their teenagers "not caring" about school or the world. It's always "my kid's such an idiot" or "my kid's too worried about her boyfriend to care about school". Parents of teenagers know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying it's not warranted. Sometimes teenagers just do pretty stupid things. However, in this case, it seems like this woman's daughter actually cares about her schoolwork. She doesn't have her head in the clouds. Even when her teachers tell her it's okay to miss school, she still wants to. Boy, do I wish I saw that kind of maturity in high schoolers today!!! It's amazing! And what are some parents on this board doing? They're saying that the mom ultimately makes the decision and what do kids want today. Instead of crying for joy because they're kid actually cares about school, and trying to make alternative arrangements for the family vacation during a more appropriate time, they're yelling about their kid. As a student, I can't believe that. I have always been told to put my schoolwork before anything. Now, the moment that a kid does, and a parent should be overjoyed because they normally complain about their kid, instead they're angry because they don't know what the kid wants. Huh??? Someone please explain this to me. I blame this on parental inconsistencies. Instead of being overjoyed that their teenager actually cares about school, they're mad because the teenager doesn't want to miss school because of vacation.

Don't get me wrong. I am a huge supporter of family vacations. Even as a college student, during the one week between spring and summer semesters, I still continue to take a cruise vacation with my family. However, does it conflict with my school??? No. We make sure it doesn't. We have fun when it's appropriate. I truly understand why breakingd_awn wants to have a family vacation. However, I believe she needs to reexamine her priorities.

Dear College Student,

I am not sure why you picked that particular post of mine to quote, nor do I understand what you are trying to imply with your post.:confused3

If you read post #27 you will see that I clearly said we do NOT take our DS out of school for vacations.

If you read post #40 you will see that I said we do not do a DCL vacation every year as we also cannot afford it. We plan for them over a 3 yr. period and cruise less frequently, but during the summer when it does not interfere with school.

Therefore, I do not see why you chose me to quote, nor do I get what you're saying. :confused3 Perhaps if you re-read my post that you quoted in relationship to the OP's post after reading my OTHER posts it would make more sense to you.

Regards,
Annie

Dicecatt
11-10-2010, 12:09 PM
our the parents trying to live thru there kids. the kids are in school for a reason..to learn..you can't learn if your not there. vacations can wait to school is on break.

you can't justify taking the kids out of school period. so what there A students ..you set a poor example when you tell them it's all right not to go.

again would you blow off your job... (fake sick) and then go on vacation.. i hope not ..because if you did i would fire you on your return.


school should be the same way. your there to learn.

to the parents that do...your living life with blinders on..:cool2:

Once again, judge not least you be judged. Just because YOU believe it is so does not mean other people aren't entitled to make up their own minds. Surely you don't think everything you believe is the be all end all of truths for everyone? Surely as free Americans, we are entitled to make up our own minds, and decide for our children what is important for our own families?

Different opinions is great, everyone has one; and everyone should feel free to express theirs, but it should not be sitting in judgment of others that have opinions that differ from yours. Not everything is a blanket truth for every situation. I believe if I like someone telling me what is correct to decide about my own children, I'll move somewhere my freedoms are curtailed. Until then, if my school doesn't mind, and I don't mind, and my children do well in school, then I'll refrain from subscribing to your beliefs in this matter. Once again, none of this has anything to do with what the OP asked...you are judging her (and others) out of context. You also conveniently missed another post that directly addressed your comment on the Disney college program.

By the way, I also don't "get it" why you persist in using text-ese on this message boards with no capitals. If your school record was so exemplary, why aren't you using what you learned? Or is the fact that you attended perfectly sufficient?

breakingd_awn
11-10-2010, 12:10 PM
our the parents trying to live thru there kids. the kids are in school for a reason..to learn..you can't learn if your not there. vacations can wait to school is on break.

you can't justify taking the kids out of school period. so what there A students ..you set a poor example when you tell them it's all right not to go.

again would you blow off your job... (fake sick) and then go on vacation.. i hope not ..because if you did i would fire you on your return.


school should be the same way. your there to learn.

to the parents that do...your living life with blinders on..:cool2:

My husband gets a paid vacation and has never faked sick ,he has a family to support and he takes his job very seriously. Sounds to me like you need to lighten up... and take a vacation.

ksloane
11-10-2010, 12:19 PM
we always arranged our vacations during times when school was out. then no excuses! Also was hesitant about leaving teens with someone else - even if a family member ie. grandma etc. My husband is in construction, so summers were out. We had vacations then during Easter. I know - more expensive, more people, but that was the alternative and we stood by it until they were out of school. never regretted it and neither did the kids. They have always said those were the best times as family! Quite a compliment I thought.

Sort of the same thing here. I don't want my children to be forced into choosing between school and a vacation so even though it might mean saving for longer so that we can do a trip during vacations, we just schedule everything when school is out.

northyvr
11-10-2010, 12:22 PM
My husband gets a paid vacation and has never faked sick ,he has a family to support and he takes his job very seriously. Sounds to me like you need to lighten up... and take a vacation.

Too funny breakingd_awn!!!

Seriously, do what you feel is right for your vacation. A friend of mine (with 2 young kids) who was just 45 years old died this week of colon cancer. Value time spent with your family. It doesn't necessarily have to be a Disney cruise. Perhaps you can find an alternate vacation that all of you (including your daughter) agree on?

OurDogCisco
11-10-2010, 12:23 PM
I think, it is sad that parents do not put education before finances. But who am I to judge. However, my child does go to a public school and the school earns money based on student attendance. So, if a child does not go to school for week my school loses X amount per day. I think, it is something like $20 a day. Our school budgets are stretched thin and so while $20 doesn't seem like a lot to you it is to a school. This is where I have an issue because you want to pull your child out of school my child loses education dollars. The teacher still needs to be paid and books still need to bought. It is really frustrating as my dds teacher's computer broke and the principal just doesn't have the money to replace it.

I'm not saying I agree with how schools are funded but unfortunately, that is how they are funded. The only thing I can do is try and elect politicians that I think will do the right thing but even then, it might not work out.

But I do feel I have the right to tell someone that they shouldn't take their child out of school for vacation because it does effect my child whether you like it or not.

Dicecatt
11-10-2010, 12:26 PM
I think, it is sad that parents do not put education before finances. But who am I to judge. However, my child does go to a public school and the school earns money based on student attendance. So, if a child does not go to school for week my school loses X amount per day. I think, it is something like $20 a day. Our school budgets are stretched thin and so while $20 doesn't seem like a lot to you it is to a school. This is where I have an issue because you want to pull your child out of school my child loses education dollars. The teacher still needs to be paid and books still need to bought. It is really frustrating as my dds teacher's computer broke and the principal just doesn't have the money to replace it.

I'm not saying I agree with how schools are funded but unfortunately, that is how they are funded. The only thing I can do is try and elect politicians that I think will do the right thing but even then, it might not work out.

But I do feel I have the right to tell someone that they shouldn't take their child out of school for vacation because it does effect my child whether you like it or not.

Not every child goes to public schools.

disney11fan
11-10-2010, 12:28 PM
easier to just type. don't need to take vacations...retired over a year ago ..with great benefits and pension at 56.
when we do go on vacations it when out son is out of school.
by the way as i said .. pulling your kids out of school for a vacation is wrong and nothing changes that. your expected to be there unless your sick. would you tell your employer ..i know the week is closed ..but we got this great deal for dcl vacation ...i'm going to go anyways. if work counts why shouldn't school count for attendance.

i doubt any school district would support you in missing school for a vacation.
parents set a bad example when they think it doesn't matter..it does.

now enough said on this ..done posting re this topic.

maybe we can chat about the greatest team in baseball...enough said the yankees of course.

northyvr
11-10-2010, 12:30 PM
now enough said on this ..done posting re this topic.


Thank goodness!!!

disney11fan
11-10-2010, 12:32 PM
:teacher:Thank goodness!!!

Dicecatt
11-10-2010, 12:34 PM
i doubt any school district would support you in missing school for a vacation.


Just goes to show that blanket statements shouldn't be used...on the contrary, my school is very supportive when I pull my kids out. They have been some amazing places and traveling is part of my job. My children's teachers are very supportive as well. In fact, I get more grief when they miss cheerleading than school! So doubt away, you are incorrect. I also chose my career for flexibility...I don't want to live my life in a rigid way, and that is MY CHOICE.

I'm glad you are retired and happy. Personally, I think life can be too short to worry about so much perfection. My brother in law died at 34 with brain cancer. I'm pretty sure that the things he remembered while dying for a year wasn't his perfect school attendance, but the memories his family made being together. So while you have the luxury of doing what you want now, some people won't get that chance, ever. Who are you to say they are wrong for taking opportunities as they come?

breakingd_awn
11-10-2010, 12:34 PM
easier to just type. don't need to take vacations...retired over a year ago ..with great benefits and pension at 56.
when we do go on vacations it when out son is out of school.
by the way as i said .. pulling your kids out of school for a vacation is wrong and nothing changes that. your expected to be there unless your sick. would you tell your employer ..i know the week is closed to vacatiopn..but we got this great deal for dcl vacation ...i'm going to go anyways. if work counts why shouldn't school count for attendance.

i doubt any school district would support you in missing school for a vacation.
parents set a bad example when they think it doesn't matter..it does.

now enough said on this ..done posting re this topic.

maybe we can chat about the greatest team in baseball...enough said the yankees of course.

Who would tell their employer ,"I'm going on vacation anyways" . I don't know anyone who has done that or would even consider it.

breakingd_awn
11-10-2010, 12:36 PM
:teacher:

Said the pot calling the kettle black

OurDogCisco
11-10-2010, 12:53 PM
Not every child goes to public schools. Many private schools receive accrediations through WASC, etc... Those accrediations include school attendance standards. So, just because you go to private school doesn't mean you are exempt from missing school. You may not realize the impact missing school has on your child's private school but it does effect them as well.

Also, I never met a teacher that wasn't supportive of family vacations. But I have met many administrators who were against it. I think, it is more complicated in just missing school. I can sympathize with people's work limits and financical limits but I don't make the rules. I believe in education.

grlzmom
11-10-2010, 12:56 PM
Not every child goes to public schools.

Yep! And, even if they do go to public schools, not all public schools report absences the same way.

Thank goodness!!!

Agreed :)

Just goes to show that blanket statements shouldn't be used...on the contrary, my school is very supportive when I pull my kids out. They have been some amazing places and traveling is part of my job. My children's teachers are very supportive as well. In fact, I get more grief when they miss cheerleading than school! So doubt away, you are incorrect. I also chose my career for flexibility...I don't want to live my life in a rigid way, and that is MY CHOICE.

I'm glad you are retired and happy. Personally, I think life can be too short to worry about so much perfection. My brother in law died at 34 with brain cancer. I'm pretty sure that the things he remembered while dying for a year wasn't his perfect school attendance, but the memories his family made being together. So while you have the luxury of doing what you want now, some people won't get that chance, ever. Who are you to say they are wrong for taking opportunities as they come?

Ditto, my kids schools (public) have been extremely supportive and encouraging of their trips abroad. Dh has many friends who are "academics", professors and lecturers and they travel abroad A LOT during the school year and most always take their kids with them. Most all of these kids we know are in public school.

About the perfect attendance, it's one award my children will never have hanging on the wall.

It's a personal choice and always a controversial subject. I am glad we have freedom to voice our opinions (although wish that some would be more respectful when they do it) and freedom to make our own choices. The same choice is not the right choice for every family.

For me and mine, we shall continue to vacation and travel year round regardless of others opinions because they are just that, opinions.

clawmachine
11-10-2010, 01:13 PM
There may be some school districts that fund based on daily attendance, but it is not across the board. Ours does not, as far as I know. Most of the teachers at our school take personal days and/or vacations during the year from time to time as well. Usually it is just for a few days near a holiday, but they do. One teacher is from West Africa and she takes a much longer break to see her family. We are very fortunate to live in a town that was just rated by two magazines as one of the best places to live and raise a family in the country. The school systems are consistently rated as excellent and families from Korea and other countries routinely move part of their families here just to attend these schools. Children graduating from public schools here are consistently getting scholarships to top colleges and great jobs. All that and yes, LOTS of families go on trips during the year!!

It is also NOT true that schools do not allow any days off during the year. At our school there are 2 or 3 "discretionary" days, which means basically you can keep them home for any reason. Therefore a 5 day trip means using only 2 or 3 "non-discretionary" days, and as one teacher said to me "who cares? It doesn't matter anywhere or at any time that you missed those..."

I told my DH about this thread last night and he was laughing because he had a lot of chronic health problems as a kid and missed a bunch of school. I asked him if he thought his level of adult success was affected by that and he just smirked. He graduated summa cum laude with a Physics degree and went on to higher degrees and a very successful career. There are literally hundreds of thousands of kids who miss chunks of school for a variety of reasons. Success in life and in a career is dependent on so many factors that it is bordering on the ridiculous to imply that a missed week every year or so is going to be important.

Dicecatt
11-10-2010, 01:22 PM
Clawmachine makes great points. Not all schools handle things the same way. And my children do go to public school, but as I stated, not everyone does, so again, blanket statements don't apply.

I also find it amusing that I don't judge you if you decide not to pull your children out for vacation, even though that isn't a decision I choose to make. I don't judge you for your beliefs...to each his own...yet many on here choose to judge those that choose differently than you. I don't agree, but I don't think you are wrong for doing what you do. What gives anyone on here the right to think your way is better, and everyone should follow it? OPINIONS expressed in a respectable way is one thing. Sitting in judgment on others is quite another. The only person allowed to judge me is God...other than God, I'll carry on the way I see fit, and you do the same.

My choice is to not raise my children to be worker ants and do exactly the perceived right thing all the time. I want them to experience the world, when and if available, even if that means October versus July. I want them to have the world open to them, which is why I chose the career I did. There is a lot more out there than perfect attendance records and getting a pension...in fact, pensions are rare. Life is for living, not saving to live...just my belief. You are entitled to yours and I don't think you are wrong for yours...so please, allow me that freedom as well.

mmouse37
11-10-2010, 01:22 PM
Ok...enough!!! All have said what was on their mind and no one is going to convice the other of their position....call it a draw. This thread will now close.

MJ