51 Marathons, 50 States + DC ((71 Days til #4 NOLA)) -- Comments Welcome!

[gotrojansgo]

I've always been a big thoughts kind of guy. You know, you lay around, thinking about all the great things you could do in life, but then you never really follow through with them. Not going to lie, I'm also a lazy kind of guy, so I can say that follow through has never really been my strong point.

However, I'm proud to say that I'm starting a new chapter in my life. It's been almost 10 years since I stopped skating, so I figure now is a better time than never to take up a new athletic hobby: running. And what better way to set goals for running than running a marathon, right?

But, per usual, one marathon just isn't enough. I started reading about more, I started training, and now I'm hooked. Absolutely hooked. I love the thrill of race day, I love the idea of racing against the clock and I'm addicted to thinking of ways on how to best my previous time.

Now, this goal is finally coming true. It's finally done! I've got the finalized list of marathons that I will be running over the next several years to accomplish one of my ultimate life goals: 50 states plus DC, 51 marathons.

This is for everyone who wanted to do something but were told that they couldn't. This is for everyone who thought they weren't good enough for someone or something when, really, they were. This is for everyone who never had a dream come true because a thing called "life" got in the way. When I stopped skating, I never thought that I would accomplish anything athletically in my life again. But now, I'm out to prove myself wrong, and I hope you can all enjoy the journey with me.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/51Marathons-4.jpg

Completed

1. Walt Disney World Marathon, Orlando, Florida (1/9/11) :: 04:39:36

2. Los Angeles Marathon, Los Angeles, California (3/20/11) :: 04:34:31

- Disneyland Half Marathon, Anaheim, CA (9/4/11) :: 1:59:41

3. Twin Cities Medtronic Marathon, Minneapolis, Minnesota (10/2/11) :: 04:41:18

In Training

4. Rock n' Roll Mardi Gras Marathon, New Orleans, Louisiana (3/4/12)

- US "Other Half" Half Marathon, San Francisco, CA (4/8/12)

Coming Up

Mercedes-Benz Marathon, Birmingham, Alabama

Mayor's Midnight Sun Marathon, Anchorage, Alaska

P.F. Chang's Rock n' Roll Marathon, Phoenix, Arizona

Little Rock Marathon, Little Rock, Arkansas

Pikes Peak Marathon, Manitou Springs, Colorado

ING Greater Hartford Area Marathon, Hartford, Connecticut

Delaware Marathon, Wilmington, Delaware

Publix Georgia Marathon, Atlanta, Georgia

Honolulu Marathon, Honolulu, Hawaii

Coeur D'Alene Marathon, Coeur D'Alene, Idaho

Bank of America Marathon, Chicago, Illinois

Indianpolis Monumental Marathon, Indianapolis, Indiana

Marathon to Marathon, Storm Lake, Iowa

Eisenhower Marathon, Abilene, Kansas

Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon, Louisville, Kentucky

Mount Desert Island Marathon, Mount Desert Island, Maine

UnderArmour Baltimore Marathon, Baltimore, Maryland

Boston Marathon, Boston, Massachusetts

Detroit Free Press Marathon, Detroit, Michigan

Mississippi Blues Marathon, Jackson, Mississippi

Go! St. Louis Marathon, St. Louis, Missouri

Missoula Marathon, Missoula, Montana

Lincoln Marathon, Lincoln, Nebraska

E.T. Full Moon Midnight Marathon, Rachel, Nevada

New Hampshire Marathon, Bristol, New Hampshire

New Jersey Marathon at the Shore, Long Branch, New Jersey

Duke City Marathon, Albuquerque, New Mexico

ING New York City Marathon, New York City, New York

Outer Banks Marathon, Outer Banks, North Carolina

Fargo Rocks! Marathon, Fargo, North Dakota

United States Air Force Marathon, Dayton, Ohio

Williams Route 66 Marathon, Tulsa, Oklahoma

Pacific Crest Marathon, Sunriver, Oregon

Philadelphia Marathon, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Amica Marathon, Newport, Rhode Island

Myrtle Beach Marathon, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Run Crazy Horse Marathon, Rapid City, South Dakota

LIVESTRONG Austin Marathon, Austin, Texas

Zions Bank Ogden Marathon, Ogden, Utah

Vermont City Marathon, Burlington, Vermont

Yuengling Shamrock Marathon, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Amica Seattle Marathon, Seattle, Washington

United States Marine Corps Marathon, Washington, DC

Marshall University Marathon, Huntington, West Virginia

Wisconsin Marathon, Kenosha, Wisconsin

Jackson Hole Marathon, Jackson, Wyoming

[gotrojansgo]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/FloridaMarathon.jpg

The original post that started it all:

Hey everyone!

This is my attempt to officially solidify my candidacy for the Walt Disney World Marathon this upcoming January. Long story short, I started training back in April for it and I was getting really serious about it, then I went to New York to intern for the summer and it kind of fell apart for a while. I finally got back on track around the end of July, but I was mostly motivated because I wanted to get in really good shape for a guy that I liked. A month later, the string he was leading me on with was cut and now I've again lost the motivation to do this.

Not anymore.

The goal: Run the Walt Disney World Marathon in under 3:45:00. (8:35/mi pace)

So here's where I've decided to keep track. This is my venting space. Every time, every pace is going up and I'm going to hold myself accountable for how I'm doing, because I've realized that I can't do this for anyone else but me. It's finally time to take care of myself, so that's what this is for.

And I've decided to include you all on the journey, too :). I welcome your thoughts, comments, tips, etc., because what fun is it training for the marathon if you have no one to share it with?

To 26.2 miles!

-David

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Distance: 2 miles
Time: 15:30
Pace: 7:43/mi

Today was a rough run, for some reason I was getting this awful cramp in my side and I had to stop ~1 mi and then again for the last 200m or so. It's definitely not a good sign when you can barely run 2 miles and you're trying to run 26.2, though I think I was pushing myself too hard today (lots and lots of rage to get out...)

On an important sidenote, I should say that I've run up to 18 miles in a day and I've run a half marathon before, so I'm a beginning-to-intermediate runner. I'm just following my Nike+ coach and it said run 2 miles today.

Tomorrow: 6 miles!

[lolakat]

Good for you for jumping back into your training. I think you will find that you will be much happier being motivated by your own satisfaction rather than working to please someone else.

Keep up the great work. :cheer2:

[gotrojansgo]

*sigh*

So Labor Day was rough. I went home with my friend to DC and Baltimore and we ate a ton of fried food. I was at the Maryland state fair and the stuff was EVERYWHERE. Granted, it was good and they might have had to roll me off the fairground.

Long story short, there's no run today. There is, however, a big question of motivation. Don't you hate it when people who you thought weren't interested (especially when they were before) contact you again? I don't know where I'm going to get the motivation for this...

Tomorrow: 6 miles. If I don't stick to this, who knows if I'll be able to run the 26.2, yeah?

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 32:25
Pace: 8:06/mi

Labor Day, thy name is pain. *Sigh* Today was supposed to be 6 miles, but I ended up only doing 4, partly because of time and partly because of the fact that I was severely cramping after 2 miles. Like these were bad cramps, so I'm hoping this isn't an indication that I'm going to have this much trouble running the entire 26.2. I'm starting to doubt myself because I'm now doing this for myself and, instead of feeling empowered, I just feel kind of scared...

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Distance: 3 Miles
Time: 24:08
Pace: 8:03/mi

I'm going to keep this short because I'm slightly drunk. Bulletpoints:

-Labor Day sucks, I'm glad I'm not hitting another speedbump for a while.
-I realized getting every run under 7:55 is too lofty of a goal, so I'm revising to 8:15 for now.
-The guy who I was running this for is slowly re-entering my life again...and it sucks to know how much that affects your training, yeah?

On a sidenote, does anyone have any ideas about eating? I'm trying to figure out a good diet...

Yoga tomorrow, woo!!

[gotrojansgo]

Friday, September 10, 2010

--Break Day!--

Practice: Yoga (1hr)

*sigh*

Life is cyclical, I really believe that. And it's not just about events in life, it's attitudes, too. By the time Friday rolls around, I think I'm so tired from the work week and so ready to give up that I do just that--I give up and hit rock bottom, and that's why I posted what I did last night. It's embarrassing and I feel stupid, but I'm going to keep that there as a reminder of what happens.

Then I get to Friday, when I usually go to yoga, and I leave it with a very positive vibe (as one should when they go to a good yoga class). Then I wonder why the hell I get down on myself so much.

Now I've realized that I could really learn something from yoga: intention. Every class, you're supposed to set an intention that you can come back to when the practice gets too hard--something that keeps you going. For me? Well, I'm not 100% sure what my motivation is for this marathon anymore, I only know that I'm tackling barrier after barrier...not reaching milestones. So that's my goal for the weekend: figuring out why I'm really doing this.

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 34:33
Pace: 8:37/mi

Ok, so not my best run, but again, it's after a very, very lazy weekend filled with studying. Since when was it so hard to be a student? I've realized that this training is really all about focus, and getting over barriers to stay focused on one goal: the finish line. And I'm not giving up on that goal.

Unfortunately, I hit two very big barriers in the last couple days. One, I found out that my bosses at Residential Education (I'm an RA at school) won't let me out of midyear training, so I'll have to fly into Orlando Friday night unless I can finagle an excuse. Hopefully I can, but if I can't, not a big deal, right?

Tomorrow: 3 miles!

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, September 15

Distance: 3 miles
Pace: Slow jog (9:45/mi-ish) with a friend

So I know I've been talking a lot about intentions lately, and today I think running with a friend was exactly the thing I needed. First of all, I finally broke it off with a guy that I've been seeing on and off for a while now because I discovered that he's a GIANT d-bag. And, because I'm over emotional, I was prepared to spend the next couple days in bed, crying and eating chocolate.

But my friend didn't let me do that. He pulled me out of my room (even though he has an ACL) and ran with me around the track. After a very long conversation with him, I think I've boiled it down to this (warning: foul language ahead):

I am ANGRY. I'm angry at this guy. I'm angry at myself for feeling duped. I'm angry at myself for letting this guy determine my self-worth. I'm angry at myself for beating myself up when he wouldn't text me at night. And I'm angry at him again for being a giant d-bag who said anything and everything to lead me on when all he ever wanted to do was hookup. I've discovered that I need to give myself a break something, because being angry at myself isn't something that's necessarily healthy or productive. But I can be angry at him, and I intend to channel that into my training.

I am PETRIFIED. I'm scared that I'm going to let work consume my life and that's why I'm never going to find someone to be with. I was so scared to let this slowly dying thing go because I know that now I'm alone. And it's scary, because there's no telling how long it will be or what I'll do when I've had a bad day and all I come home to is a futon, a TV and several stuffed animals.

Most of all, I'm SICK AND TIRED. I'm so tired of feeling out of place in the gay community and sick of feeling not good enough. I think I finally realized today how negative I am towards myself and how I keep myself constantly feeling ****ty about myself. Why do I even do that? Because I think I enjoy being ****ing miserable, short and sweet.

So this is my solution. This marathon is my solution. To quote a great movie, "Network,": I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. Seriously, I'm not. This ******** where I'm beating myself up is ridiculous and I'm not doing it anymore. I'm doing this so, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing 10 things wrong with myself, I see something right, something that I'm proud of. This is for me, and I'm going to aim to think about that every day.

Thursday, September 16

Distance: 4 Miles
Time: 31:02
Pace: 7:45/mi

Ok, so it wasn't the 7 miles I was supposed to run today according to my Nike+, but I think today was the first day that I really got into a rhythm while I was running. I was channeling that anger and I felt a really strong connection between me and the road. All of a sudden, I was releasing all of my anger into the street and it was taking it and getting rid of it. Needless to say I smoked my goal (which is to have 10 runs under a 7:55/mi pace by October 15), so that felt good.

This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Nothing is going to ruin this now, because I'm doing this for me. I'm taking control of something for once in my life and giving myself a leg to stand on.

[gotrojansgo]

Friday, September 17

---YOGA DAY---
Time: 1 hour

Today was very, very zen. I felt so strong during my yoga practice today and I think, for once, I felt like I was improving myself. I think I've really opened up my eyes in the last couple of days and I've started seeing the positive side of life, not the negative side. I was focusing more on what poses I could do rather than what I couldn't. And, to top it off, I was even able to laugh at myself when I couldn't get my foot as high as I wanted it to!

I'm feeling a lot better about myself and how things have been going recently, because I only have control over so much. Now that I'm actually doing the training and I'm seeing the progress I've been making, I feel like I've finally taken control of something and I can actually get it done.

Tomorrow: 6 miles.

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, September 20

---YOGA DAY---
Time: 20 minutes

Only had time for 20 minutes today! Had to squeeze it in, but I got it. I used Pocket Yoga on my iPhone (a must for any yogi enthusiast), rolled ou my mat in my room and got it done. Granted, it wasn't as calming as when I go to my studio, and I didn't have a teacher helping me with my poses, but I felt really, really accomplished afterwards because I was able to do it on my own. Booyah!

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, September 21

Distance: 3 Miles

Today was another fairly easy day, I just ran around the track at a light pace (around 10:00/mi) with my friend. Super simple, had a good conversation, wanted to ease my way into running this week (especially since tomorrow is 7 miles...groan).

I've decided I really like working out with someone else because it makes me feel a lot more accomplished. The fact that I'm able to help out my friend (who is incredibly athletic, albeit injured) is so cool, and he's such a great guy. And he's really cute--I may have a crush on him? Oops.

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, October 8

Distance: 7 Miles

Ok, DIS WISHers, I'm finally back on track! I've been out thanks to a nasty bout of ulcerative colitis (sorry if that's TMI) but now I'm back running and trying desperately to catch up to my training schedule.

Case in point: today I ran 7 miles using 5x4 pickups with 2 mile warmups and cooldowns on either end. This is the first time I'd done speed work ever and wow, did it kick my ***. I was feeling great after the first two, but it really went downhill after the third interval. By the fifth one, I don't think I was really running any faster :laughing:. Still, there's a lot of room to improve.

BUT, on a good note:

I officially signed up for the Walt Disney World Marathon today! I'm staying at BCV Friday night-Sunday night, then at WLV Monday night and coming back to school on Tuesday. Even better: I'm booking a massage (at GF hopefully) tomorrow!

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, October 9

Distance: 5K

I feel stupid every time I can't put a time or a pace up because I feel like I failed. Tonight, however, was not really a failure, so much as it was an error on my part. I ran way too late at night when I was not prepared and I had not eaten correctly beforehand. Result? Around 3.5K I started to cramp like no other. I walked to just over 4K and then I was done because I couldn't handle it anymore.

Lucky for me, this is a really easy week for training coming up, so my goal this week is to complete everything, because I feel like if I can do that, that'll really put me back on track.

Tomorrow: 10.2 miles!

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, October 11, 2010

Exercise: Yoga
Time: 45 Minutes

So I didn't get to my long run on Sunday again (ugh), but I figure I can start a week with Monday and just stick to it this way. That way, my long runs come at the end of the week and it's more motivating to end a week with a long run than kick one off, right?

Today was tough, the yoga was hard! Also, I feel myself getting out of shape, which is no good at all! I really have to get back on track and I kept feeling my fat when I put my hands on my hips for certain yoga moves...no more of that! I want to be able to run confidently with my shirt off, so I'm going to kick my *** into gear this week.

On another note, I booked my post-marathon massage at the GF on Sunday, so now I have super added incentive to go!!

P.S. I'm coming in to WDW on Saturday around noon and leaving Tuesday afternoon--I'll be at BCV on Saturday and Sunday night and VWL Monday night, so if anyone wants to meet up, I'll be down there alone with nothing to do!

Tomorrow: 4 miles!

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Distance: 2 Miles
Time: 17:04
Pace: 8:32/mi

Yeah, today was supposed to be 4 miles, but I cramped up at the 1.5 mile mark and it was so painful I had to walk to 2 and then finish. I felt like a giant wimp, but I figure that I'm really getting back into this this week, so I just have to put up with the pain...plus I'm really, really sore from yoga on Monday. I'm trying to find a massage stick to help me out with that, because I'd love to work out my muscles a little more and treat them a little nicer!

Tomorrow: 2 Miles (which I will finish for SURE)

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Distance: 2 Miles
Time: 14:54
Pace: 7:24/mi

Today felt much better. I'm still incredibly sore in my hamstrings, which I'm still trying to figure out why, but I've been stretching them like crazy, so hopefully the soreness will go away soon. I've been trying to eat a lot of potassium, too, in hopes that it will help my muscles, but I guess only time will tell.

As for my run today, I went all out and I still fell :50 flat of my personal best at 2 miles! Granted, I think I was focusing on short distance then, but still, this has really lit a fire under me to start pushing myself more. I don't want to overtrain, but I'm determined to pummel this marathon into the ground. I want that 3:30.

Tomorrow: 6 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Friday, October 15, 2010

Practice: Yoga
Time: 1 Hour

Whew! I finally got my butt to yoga class today and I couldn't be more excited! It's always a drag to wake up at 6:15 to get all the way to West Hollywood, but when I walk out of the studio it always feels so good. I need to be getting these vibes all the time :goodvibes!

Now I've got a full day ahead of me (ugh), and on 4 hours of sleep, this might not be easy. At least I know where all the Starbucks are on the way!

Tomorrow: 6 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Distance: 6.2 miles

Whew, midterms were a killer! I've really been out of practice, but today I ran again with my friend who tore his ACL, so we kept a pretty good pace (probably around 8:30 or 8:45/mi) the entire time, which I was proud of! It was a good way to kick my *** back into gear.

I really need to stop this stop/start mentality because it's wreaking havoc on my training and on my mindset. If I wake up in the morning and tell myself I'm going to run, then dammit I need to just suck it up and do it! It's tough telling myself that because I'm not entirely sure how much I respect myself, but I can feel the tide changing. I only have 80 days left until this marathon...it's becoming more real as we get closer.

Tomorrow: 4 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Friday, October 22, 2010

Practice: Yoga

Time: 1 hour

I can't tell you guys how much I really enjoy doing yoga at this place. My teacher is amazing (and it doesn't hurt that he's cute, too ;)) and I always leave this place feeling so empty. I don't think I ate that poorly today, either, except for some potato chips that I had with dinner, but you win some, you lose some, right?

I'm back on track now, and I'm ready to finish. I'm still really, really worried about going down to the marathon alone, but I know I can do it. I'm just a little disappointed that no one will be there to see it...

Tomorrow: 9 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Distance: 10.19 miles
Time: 1:37:10 (9:31/mi)

So I skipped the 9 miler yesterday and today was supposed to be 14 miles, but considering the fact that it was drizzling on the beach and it was dark outside and I was seriously alone out there...so it was a great way to clear my mind, and it was a great way to focus on my breathing. On that note, I only stopped to walk for probably a total of about a mile, maybe a mile and a half, so that was an accomplishment in and of itself!

On the other hand, I'm a little sad I didn't get all 14 miles in, but it's motivation to do better this week.

Tomorrow: yoga!

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Distance: 2.05 miles
Time: 17:09
Pace: 8:15/mi

Again, not my best showing, especially since I skipped two days of activity. I have to stop letting the high of one day prevent me from doing something awesome again the next day, you know? But there was an unbearable cramp and I really had to slow down, unfortunately.

On the other hand, I got The Stick today and it's amazing. Amazing! I'm a huge fan.

Tomorrow: 8 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, November 10, 2010

Distance: 2.53 miles
Time: 29:53
Pace: 11:32/mi

I ran with my friend today who tore his ACL, so we weren't moving very fast, or very far, but I wasn't having any problems with that because I haven't exercised in over a week, so it was rough for me. Back to the grind tomorrow...

Tomorrow: 5 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, November 10, 2010

Distance: 2.53 miles
Time: 29:53
Pace: 11:32/mi

I ran with my friend today who tore his ACL, so we weren't moving very fast, or very far, but I wasn't having any problems with that because I haven't exercised in over a week, so it was rough for me. Back to the grind tomorrow...

Tomorrow: 5 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Distance: 3.00 miles
Time: 25:57
Pace: 8:36/mi

Today felt really, really good to be getting back out. Granted, I always have this problem with shorter runs where I think it's shorter than it is, so I hit the pavement going really fast and then I hit a wall about halfway in.

Lo and behold, the minute my iPod tells me I'm at 1.5 miles, I start cramping up uncontrollably. Ugh, it was painful, but at least I finally finished a workout, you know? This is a good week to be getting back on it because it's an easy week, so hopefully I can take this upswing and start pounding out the longer, harder runs, too. It's officially 60 days away until WDW and I'm not going to let that stop me.

Tomorrow: 6 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hike @ Griffith Park

Granted, today was supposed to be a 20 mile run, but my friend from Phoenix has been town all weekend, so I took him Griffith Park and we hiked to Hollywood sign. I have no idea how far we hiked, because I didn't bring my Nike+ pod, but I know I definitely got a good workout from it--we were out there for 2+ hours!

Tomorrow: yoga

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, November 15, 2010

Exercise: Yoga
Time: 45 minutes

Per usual, I did this one by myself in my room and it was very relaxing...I've been trying to really dig into the good feelings to keep going. I often find myself drifting during working out, wondering why I'm doing it, but today I just tried to focus on feeling good and the time went by so much faster!

...on that note, I am working out extra hard this week because I have a date on Saturday (hopefully it doesn't fall through). Eek!

Tomorrow: 3 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 25:21
Pace: 8:25/mi

Today was just one of those days where I didn't even think about it, I just got out and ran. It was a little tough, but I was feeling fantastic for the first mile and a half. Around 1.5-2 miles was iffy and I walked a lot of it, and then I think I finished fairly strong.

One thing I think I've noticed is my stride has gotten much better and I feel stronger when I run. I've also noticed how to run so I think I'm wasting less energy per mile, if that makes any sense. I finally feel like a real runner! Honestly, after I had my skating accident 8 years ago, I never thought I would ever have this feeling again of being an athlete, but I'm slowly getting back up to it.

On another note, I'm trying to get in shape for my date this Saturday. The guy seems super, super nice and I really haven't had to be in shape for anyone in a while...so we'll see. I think this is the first time I've felt positive and optimistic going into something like this, so I'm hoping I can live up to some standard that he might have. The last thing I was is for him to be disappointed in me physically, you know? That may or may not be absolutely crushing.

Tomorrow: 7 miles w/ interval training

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Distance: 7 miles (w/ 2x10 intervals)
Time: 1:03:51
Pace: 9:03/mi

Honestly, I'm so proud of myself for finishing the entire distance, because after both my intervals, I thought I was going to crap out. I wasn't doing the path that I thought I was going to do (all the way down to downtown LA, run around there and come back to school), but instead I just ran around school (which, granted, is 2 miles around), so it was much more tempting to enter back into campus and call it quits. But I didn't!

I feel really empowered right now. I think my intervals were really strong (about 7:05/mi for both 10 minute sprints), and there was minimal walking (I'd say about 1 mi, 1.5 mi at most this entire time). As the marathon gets closer and closer, I'm getting more and more excited about it. I'm really nervous because I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to meet this goal that I have in my head of 3:30:00 and I know it might now happen, so I'm almost scared to run the marathon. I see my Facebook status in my head and I really just want to show people that I can run a marathon fast and that I am indeed a real athlete.

I also know that I'm pushing myself harder this week because of a guy, which I know isn't the optimal thing to do. Hell, I don't even know if he likes me anymore because I haven't heard from him in a couple of days. I'm just trying not to get caught up in that whole obsessive phase, because the last time that happened, I was absolutely crushed and I just sat on the couch for a week feeling bad for myself. I don't want to do that anymore--I really can't afford to do that anymore with almost 50 days left until the marathon.

I really just wish I could accept the fact that I'm not supposed to be with anyone and to just not worry about relationships, you know? I feel like it's just such an added stressor to life that I don't need. I think running is giving me a little bit of that feeling, because I really want to be independent. I don't want to have to depend on anyone, I don't want to have to worry about anyone. If only real life could accommodate such a thing...

Tomorrow: 5 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Distance: 5 miles
Time: 40:15
Pace: 8:03/mi

I was so close to breaking 8 minutes on this run! I have to admit I was a twinge disappointed when I saw the results, but it's just more motivation to push harder next time. I really took everything that I had in the last sprint, so I felt so accomplished to finish!

On another note, I still haven't heard from that guy since Monday, so I'm hoping that my work this week isn't for nothing…not to say that it's not, because I can feel myself getting stronger literally every day, as well as more focused, but it's going to be a little crushing if one day he was all into me and the next, well, he wasn't so much. Granted, I did stalk him a little bit and I think I may have royally screwed up my chances, but I'm really hoping that I didn't. I don't know how I'm going to feel if it falls through, though.

I know it's a stupid caveat to base my feelings on, but I can't help it. I've barely even met the guy and I'm already speculating…this is awful. This is why I try to avoid relationships if I can, and yet here I am hoping that I get into one. How ridiculous is that? I feel like I'm never going to learn.

Tomorrow: yoga!

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Distance: 6.2 miles (10K)
Time: 48:47
Pace: 8:10/mi

So guess who's date fell through? Yep, that's right. Should I be surprised? I'm not really 100% sure at this point, because that's just kind of how my luck with guys is. In fact, I think I handled it much better than I thought I would because, on some level, I was definitely expecting this.

Now the question that I ask myself is should I be offended because I was left in the dust for Grindr? Is the male attention on an iPhone application really that much better than me? I'm tempted to answer a resounding yes to both, but part of me (a very, very small part) isn't letting me do that and beat myself up. So instead I took what was supposed to be my date on the beach and turned it into a run on the beach. At least I got out and did something, you know?

Tomorrow (Monday): yoga!

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Distance: 4 miles

Yes, I'm writing this a little late, but I'm finally in WDW for Xmas time!! This means it's time to buckle down on the eating and make sure I'm keeping up with my running though...eek. We're literally almost at the three week mark and I'm really freaking out about what doing nothing during finals did to my fitness level. I want this 3:45 so bad I can taste it, and I'm not letting anything get in my way.

Tomorrow: 10 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Distance: 10K (6.1 miles)
Time: 60:00 (on the treadmill...bleh)
Pace: 9:55/mi

So today was supposed to be 16 miles. Oops! I'm down at BWV right now and I knew it was nearly impossible slash too much work to find an outdoor path that was 16 miles long. So, instead, I hit the treadmill and could only make it 10K. It was something about being inside, about not moving, about hitting the same spot over and over again that was just really disheartening. That and the fact that my toenail hurt. So now I need to go see a podiatrist AND get back on track, haha!

Tomorrow: Yoga

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Distance: 3 miles (again, on the treadmill)
Time: 23:13
Pace: 7:43/mi

At this point, I'm just trying to get as much in as I can. I can see that 3:45:00 and I want it more than anything. But more importantly, I think I want to prove a point.

I want to show everyone that I really can do this. I think for a long time I've been a very big ideas person and I haven't necessarily followed through, but this is different. This is the time where I'm going to meet my goals and follow through on this.

I've been really upset lately because I know that, deep down, I've been doing this for a lot of other people. For those people who doubt me to prove them wrong, and, really, for every guy out there who has rejected me (not that there's been that many because I'm too afraid to put myself out there to start with).

I want a new start with this new year. I want a better attitude and a better outlook on life. I want to be a new person, and I think this is really my key to kickstarting it right.

Tomorrow: 8 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, December 23, 2010 / Friday, December 24, 2010

Distance: 8 miles
Time: 1:16:11
Pace: 9:27/mi

Practice: Yoga (30 minutes)

Ok, so now it's starting to be panic time. The marathon is officially 16 days away and I was struggling running 8 miles (which is only one third of the entire marathon). By the time I reach mile 8, I'm not even going to be at MK...so I'm really questioning how I'm going to finish this race, let alone in 3:45:00.

I'm hoping that my slacking in runs can be made up in these last two weeks and my adrenaline can take me over the top. Now that I don't have school to focus on, I've just been trying to stay as active as possible. Now that I'm home, I can do yoga all that I want (and now it's pretty much all I want to do!), but running is going to be a little harder with snow on the ground (in Chicago).

Other than that, though, I'm feeling good. I'm definitely more physically fit than I was this summer and I'm more confident in my ability to accomplish my goal. Here's to a strong finish!

Tomorrow: 3 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Distance: 5 miles
Time: unknown

Today was a perfect example as to why I need to plan very carefully before a race. And I mean very, very carefully. I completely forgot to charge my iPod, I didn't realize that once the sun went down, the temps would drop in Chicago and the ice that I thought had melted today would reform (including the newly fallen rain) and I seem to have misplaced my mockneck compression shirt.

All in all though, it was a solid run. I think, finally, I've gotten the hang of pacing, so hopefully I can hold on to that idea for the marathon and not burn myself out too quick, because I know I'm bound to do that. Oh, and that adrenaline...I know it's going to rush and I'm going to be on a such a high, so it's something that I really have to watch out for.

Tomorrow: Yoga

[geaux_half]

Good luck with your first marathon at Disney. :thumbsup2

Disney was my first marathon as well back in 2000. Disney was my first half as well in 2001. To date I've run 5 marathons and 53 half marathons.....not too difficult to figure out my preferred distance :teacher:

The 53 halfs have been in 43 states + DC. The plan is to complete my 50th on my 50th birthday in May 2014. Yes, Rhode Island actually has a race that will fall on my 50th birthday (if the race stays active and doesn't move to a different weekend).

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, January 3, 2010

Practice: Yoga
Focus: Core Work (90 minutes!)

Ayyyyyyy today was difficult! This teacher was hellbent on making us all feel how great our New Year's resolutions were going to feel...after we got out of class, of course :lol. Instead, it was so much back bending and twisting and lunging...I know I'm going to be aching tomorrow. But the teacher was really, really good about showing me some specific moves to squeeze that last bit of lactic acid out of my muscles so I don't have to worry about them anymore. She was incredibly helpful, and so supportive when I told her I was running my first marathon in less than a week.

On that note, we're 6 days out!! Who new it would be so nerve-racking to be 6 days out of this?! I'm getting really nervous about hitting my goal (which I'm now thinking I might move back to 4:00:00 even...or even just finishing the damn race), but I just gotta do it. I've been reading so much about everything; what to eat, what to carry, how to run, what to wear, what to do after, etc. that it's making my head spin and I just need a break from it! My mom gave me a great piece of advice: once I've run one, I'll have some experience under my belt, and I can use that to adjust for LA in March. Smart words, I think.

To the last week of training!!

Tomorrow: 5 miles with intervals

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, January 6, 2010

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 24:58
Pace: 8:15/mi

Today was a rough run, not going to lie (though now that I mention it, it seems like EVERY entry has been starting out like that!! :lol). This was the first time I had run outside the entire time I was home in Chicago, and running right before I was supposed to catch my flight to LA and added the fact that I wasn't fully packed yet...well, it was very stressful thinking about all that and trying to run.

So, solution: between NOW and SUNDAY, I'm clearing my head. I'm bringing my computer and stuff with me, but I'm not thinking about school until I get back on Tuesday. Nothing on my to-do list (except to check-in on Saturday) and no worries, because I want to look back and know that I've done everything that I could for this marathon.

It's hard to believe that this was a dream that started in June and now, here I am, having run my last miles before the marathon. Tomorrow and Saturday are going to be light cross training...and then it's 26.2. I'm nervous, I'm excited and I'm everything in between! Now is just the time to do it--I've never really been one for spontaneity, but I gotta say this feels pretty damn good!

Tomorrow: Yoga and lots of REST...LAX>IAD>MCO

[gotrojansgo]

Friday, January 7, 2010

REST DAY
LAX>IAD

So I lied about the yoga, but I certainly did not lie about the rest!! Oh, it was much much needed! And how I love it, though it's put me incredibly on edge. I can't put into words how nervous I really am for this marathon. I know I have a lot of support behind me, but I can't help but keep looking at my goal and wanting to turn around and not face it, you know? It's almost like it's easier to just cancel the whole trip and stay in bed.

But that's the easy way out, and I'm tired of taking the easy way out! My new year's resolution was to lighten up and open myself up to more things. I need to stop hiding in my shell and step out a little more. Granted, this is more like a leap off the cliff of the unknown, but I've just gotta get this done! I know once I do one, I'll be hooked, so I just have to get over the hump that is today and tomorrow.

Tomorrow: (maybe) Yoga, IAD>MCO, BCV and the Expo!!

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, January 8, 2011

REST DAY
IAD > MCO
Packet Pick Up!!

Wow, I can't believe it. No, I seriously can't believe it. I'm sitting in my room, not knowing what to think about the race I'm going to run tomorrow morning. At the packet pick-up, I definitely felt less nervous and more excited, but I'm now at like this weird in between that I don't really know what to do with. Everything is laid out, I'm prepped and ready to go, and I even got moved up corrals (Corral D, anyone??). Now is the time to DO.

3:45, here I come. No excuses, just getting it done.

Tomorrow: MARATHON #1!!

[gotrojansgo]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/FloridaMarathon.jpg

Marathon #1
Walt Disney World Marathon
Orlando, Florida
January 9, 2011

I was so nervous leading up to the start, even though I had everything that I was planning to ever have. I had my bagel, I had my orange juice, I got on the bus with plenty of time and I didn't feel rushed. When I was sitting in my corral waiting for the start of the marathon, I felt such a huge surge of adrenaline and all of a sudden all my worries melted away.

Crossing the start line and peeling my sweatshirt off was, well, a little cold, but also THE biggest rush of my life. I wasn't really sure how I was going to handle it, how I was going to finish, but I knew for sure that this was going to be the experience of a lifetime.

For the first 6 miles, I was feeling great. When we hit mile 3 and we started to go through the east end of EPCOT, it really hit me that yes, I was running at Disney World and, yes, I would be running through all four parks. I was on top of the world! I thought that I got through the first 10K pretty strong, and that I was set for the rest of the race.

When we passed the Contemporary, though, the miles started getting longer for sure. I didn't slow down according to my 10 mile split, but I could feel everything starting to lengthen a little bit.

When I turned down the straightaway running down Main Street, though, I couldn't help but tear up. Seriously, I have never felt so much support or so much love in one place, and it really made me feel happy. My friends were all really supportive of me doing this and my mom was there to cheer me on, but to have so many people get so excited for you to run by...it really was a great feeling that I don't think I could ever duplicate.

Things really started to get tough around the Grand Floridian (mile 12/12.5). I could feel my legs starting to seize up and I knew it was a mistake that I had not had anything to eat during this entire stretch of time. I was coming up on two hours running without anything besides Gatorade or Powerade and I was starting to feel it. 3:45:00 was out of my reach, but I knew 4:00:00 wasn't, so I set that as my new goal as I crossed the half-marathon mark at 2:01:00. I knew I would have to run a faster end 13 miles than the beginning, but I thought I could do it.

Half a mile later, I found out I was way wrong. My right leg completely cramped up, and it was only after I got that banana in my system that I could get it to move and run again. It was on again/off again running well through mile 16 and the Animal Kingdom, and I finally started to hit a wall. Granted, most people are supposed to hit this wall by mile 20, but I was hitting it a little early.

Around mile 16 and the entrance to the Animal Kingdom, I met a wonderful woman named Liz, who started talking to me and really, really carried me through the entire park. She was so inspirational and such a motivator, so I have to give her mad props. I lost her at the next water station because I had to take another break, but she was really one of the nicest people I met on the course and I wish I could go back and thank her for that.

From mile 18 on, it was walking and running the whole way. The 4:15:00 pace group passed me quick, as did the 4:30:00 pace group, so I tried to forget about any time goal, even though now I was really hoping to finish by 4:30:00 (since that pace group started in Corral B and I was in Corral D, I knew there was a chance).

At the mile 20.5 turnaround, the ESPN guys were playing the Fight Song for USC, so I knew that that was a sign that I was going to get my second wind soon. I really never got it :lmao: but I was able to muster up the tenacity to finish the race at least.

I remember getting onto the HS/EPCOT walkway and saying that I was going to get 4:30 and knowing that it was a stretch, so then I bumped it up to 4:40, because I wanted to finish my race with some modicum of a goal.

Sidenote: running along the World Showcase was THE longest mile I have ever run in my entire life. It never ended! I've walked that thing so many times, but for some reason it seemed so much longer when it was most of mile 25, you know?

Once I ran past the EPCOT ball for the second time, I was determined to finish and finish strong. It seemed like I was flat out sprinting (although looking back at the video I clearly wasn't), and crossing that finish line...wow. I've never felt so good in my life. Like I've accomplished things before, but I've never felt such a great sense of accomplishment. And to have such a positive energy of runners around made it such a great event. I couldn't do anything but cry after I finished because I didn't really know what to do.

Except 5 minutes later when I started thinking about the next one! :cool1:

Final time: 04:39:36

[gotrojansgo]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/CaliforniaMarathon.jpg

Like I said before, it's never too early to start thinking about training, right? Well, the second I got back on the plane from Orlando to Denver on my way back to LA, I began thinking about what I did right and what I did wrong. I started looking at how I felt during certain portions of the race and I felt like I learned and grew as a runner. But now, I'm announcing the start of training for race #2: the Los Angeles Marathon!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Practice: Yoga
Time: 75 minutes

Yeah, I know it's bad that my first day back to real training was well over a week past the marathon, but getting back to school the day AFTER it started was really tough on my schedule. Here's to hoping a new year will bring me more discipline with my schedule!

First off, Jillian Michaels was in my yoga class, which was SUPER cool. It was a little awkward, because we were in triangle pose when I saw her in the mirror (she was behind me at this point) and I gave her one of those "oh my god, it's a celebrity!" looks that I try not to give to people. But I failed. And she noticed, but she was really nice about it.

I feel so much stronger now that I've completed this marathon. It really seems to be symbolic of what I can accomplish and how much I hold myself back. I know that sometimes I'm happiest when I'm unhappy, but this just goes to show myself that if I can open myself up and really complete the things that I want to do, I can make myself a better and happier person.

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Distance: 6 Miles

I decided not to really pay attention to my time today and rather focus on the fact that I finished my run. This was my first training run (well, recovery run) since the marathon and boy, was it hard. It was a lot harder than I expected, especially since the LA Marathon is less than two months away.

I've been really trying to dig deep lately because I can feel that motivational lull that follows when you run a marathon. It's like, you completed your goal, now what? Now's the time to get faster, but I get down on myself a lot about how I can't do that (among other things), so I've really been trying to see the positive lately. It's been hard, and sometimes it hasn't been happening, but I'm trying my absolute hardest to work on it.

[natale1980]

I just wanted to say... WOW! You have an amazing goal.

-nat

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, January 25, 2011

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 25:02
Pace: 8:19/mi

Well, well, well, I can tell you right now that marathon recovery is not easy, nor is it fun. I'm one of those people who is competitive all the time. I always want to get ahead and I want to make sure that I'm doing the best that I can. That's how I got so good at volleyball and I really think that's what got me through WDW. And, now that I think about it more, that's what's pushing me to finish this crazy goal that I have.

However, having to hold back so that I don't injure myself permanently is hard. It's hard not to give 110% every time you do something, every time you're trying to finish, every time you're trying to complete a goal. You always want to give your all--I think it's human nature. But I have to keep telling the competitive side of myself that, yes, you're still being competitive, because it's either this or get injured and not run at all.

Running has saved me in more ways than one and I don't know what I would do without it. It gives me a channel for stress. A path for anger. A way for me to funnel my feelings into something good for myself and productive. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

[RENThead09]

Dude you are awesome and totally inspire me on those days that I really dont want to drag my lazy butt to the gym or out the door to run. I am even considering checkin out yoga...but would hope Jillian doesnt show up, she kinda scares me. hahaha She probably doesnt make it down here to the OC anyways.

Keep those updates comin! Cant wait to see how you do in LA.

[gotrojansgo]

Eeeek! This week with everything happening in Egypt/Jordan/the Middle East has made things SUPER crazy, but I'm finally starting to get back on track...starting with a double whammy! A day late? Yes, but it's still going up!!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Practice: Yoga
Time: 45 minutes
Level: Intermediate

Unfortunately, I had no time to get over to my yoga studio, so I just did it at home with my super awesome iPhone app. It was just as tough, if not tougher because I felt like since I was doing this solely for myself (there was no pressure to look good in front of a class), I was holding the moves longer, really trying to make sure they were correct and trying to feel a stability and a balance in everything I was doing. It felt great! Seriously, NOTHING parallels the feeling after 45-75 minutes of flowing. Your body feels achy but so wonderful at the same time--I have to say the people who invented this are totally on to something.

And the best part about it is that I feel slightly better about myself the rest of the day, which is something I can't say I do every day!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 38:32
Pace: 9:33/mi

I'm still taking it easy, which is frustrating, but at the same time super essential. I started out going wayyyyy faster (around 7:05/mi) when I felt a very strange pulling the back of my calf, so I immediately backed off. The rest of the run was a jog, but I still wanted to be careful because I refuse to tear anything or hurt myself. This is really the only outlet I have now for stress and getting some kind of self-esteem back into my life, so I really can't afford to lose it.

I think I've realized that the thing I like the most about running is that it's a constant, which is something that's not very prevalent in my life. I don't have a lot of constants. And even though the time can change, the distance can change, etc., it's still the same motion and the same feeling, and it makes me feel somewhat stable knowing that, no matter what I have to do that day, I can always wake up early in the morning and go run.

[gotrojansgo]

Whew! This week has been super, super busy because Egypt is never ending, so I only got the chance to workout one time between Tuesday and now. New goal: 6 days a week!!

Thursday, February 4, 2011

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 32:04
Pace: 8:01/mi

This run was much more natural and I felt better when I was done (aka I felt like I exerted less effort), which was nice to feel. However, I was disappointed that I couldn't get my Wednesday run in, as well as my Friday yoga or Saturday/Sunday runs in because I feel like, at this point, I'm just making excuses.

My whole issue is that I want to be seeing results, whether it's getting faster or getting a better body. And I'm not seeing them, but I know it's my own fault because I'm not running or being as active as I should be. And with this impending deadline of the LA Marathon, it's scary and frustrating at the same time.

I think I'm so wound up because I recently learned that several guys think that I'm standoffish and cold and it really got to me. It's upsetting to me that I can have such a sense of accomplishment and I can let other people tear that down in a matter of days, you know? I feel like the more I focus on school, work and running this week, the better off I'll be.

More updates to come...

[gotrojansgo]

Eek! Triple update! I'm getting bad at this...but hey, at least I've worked out 3 out of the 4 days this week. I'm on track to go 6 for 7! Now if only I could do this every week...

Monday, February 7, 2011
Practice: Ashtanga Yoga
Time: 45 minutes

So this was one of my super-late night, I'm-not-going-to-bed inspired workouts because I was pulling yet another Monday all-nighter (since I produce on Tuesdays, which requires that I get up at 5 am). So it was very serene to be doing in my room at 2 am, but also a little strange. I thought it was borderline eerie and very introspective, because I didn't have much else to think about. However, I quickly shifted gears back to what I was doing until...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Distance: 5 miles
Time: 47:04
Pace: 9:22/mile

Ok, so I'm still recovering, but at least everything is feeling a little more fluid. I walked very minimally this time, even if I was running out of steam by the end. It's hard when you wake up in the morning and you don't eat anything before you run, but I'm working to fix that because I've realized that that doesn't work. And, hey, if it means waking up a little earlier, then I should put in the effort. I mean is it really that hard to wake up 25-30 minutes earlier so I can feel better on my run? Otherwise I feel miserable.

Thursday, February 10, 2011
Distance: 3 miles
Time: 32:01
Pace: 10:40/mile

This run was rough because my left calf was really, really tight, so I kept trying to go easy because the last thing I want to do is hurt myself before LA and before I really get into training. At the same time, it's incredibly frustrating to run such a short distance in such a long period of time, because you'd think that after you finish one marathon, you're infinitely better when you might not be. I think a lot of things have been getting to me lately self-esteem wise, so this really isn't what I needed this morning. At least tomorrow is just a jog, so I won't be worried about time so much as I will be about making sure I feel good. Recovery over on Sunday!!

Tomorrow: 2 mile jog

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, February 14, 2011

Practice: Yoga
Time: 1 hour

So I made it through yet another Valentine's Day. Phew...this one was definitely not easy. It was very lonely, I'm not going to lie. Most of my friends were partnered up, so it was just me, myself and I today. So I decided to treat myself to something this morning and went to yoga, which was OK. It was nice, I thought it was fun and it was nice to really get out and do a really tough class and get all the toxins out...but it still didn't help. I spent a good amount of the day moping around, so all the endorphins kind of disappeared from this morning.

At least it's over now...I thought I would want to talk about it more, but I'd rather just leave it at this: I think I've realized that I'm too much effort to be with, and it'd just be easier for me if I were alone. *sigh*

Tomorrow: 5 mile run

[gotrojansgo]

Friday, February 18, 2011

Practice: Yoga
Time: 1 hour

This week was unbelievably long and difficult to get through. I'm giving myself major props that I made it this far!! In between getting plastered on Wednesday (don't ask me why, it just happened) and dealing with a lot of stuff all week, I was pleased that I was able to get out and do this for myself.

I'm a little upset that I haven't done anything all weekend, though, but Monday is the start of a new week, and it's the time when I can really take charge towards improving my time for LA. I want this so bad, but everything had been really precluded lately with relationships that have been going on around me. My best, best friend started dating a guy who I've had a crush on for a year and a half, and this guy who I really like who's been flirting back (the one guy!) has a boyfriend. Couple that with Valentine's Day and you get quite the unproductive week, lol.

Monday: Yoga!

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, February 27, 2011

Distance: 5 miles
Time: 45:02
Pace: 9:00/mi

Ok, so this is the first time I got a chance to workout this week and wow, it felt great. I keep forgetting how much running makes me feel better, especially with everything else going on in my life, you know?

I've been so bogged down this week with thoughts about guys, and this one guy who I've been flirting with for weeks now who just told me he's seeing someone and wants to keep it casual...I've been sitting in my room drunk almost every night, but getting up this morning and doing something good for myself felt so good, so I have to try to keep that in mind as LA quickly approaches...

Tomorrow (Saturday): 10 miles!

[gotrojansgo]

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Distance: 4.63 miles
Time: 41:28
Pace: 8:57/mile

So Sunday was supposed to be a 16-miler, but I had to work the Oscars (no complaining here!), so there really wasn't any way to fit it in so I wasn't completely exhausted for the big night. I felt good about at least getting something in, you know? I think that I've been finding myself making up excuses that aren't really relevant or valid because I "have no time," when I can always fit in something. I may not be able to get in the distance I want, but something is better than nothing.

Today was supposed to be a yoga day, but I didn't get around to it for several reasons. One, I didn't wake up early enough to get to the class at my studio because I got home super late--which was because I finally met up with a guy that I've been taking to online after I finished up at the Oscars. He was super, super nice, also a runner, incredibly smart, a med student at Keck (USC's med school), a good cook...something completely out of the blue from many other guys that I've met in LA.

Two, I texted him last night that I got home safe and I thanked him for the pizza he made me, and he still has yet to text me back. I really thought we connected, we hugged at the end of the night and he seemed earnest when he said he wanted to hang out again. Now what do I have? Nothing.

Lately, I've really been trying to use the small boosts that I get from running to really put myself out there, because normally I'm one to hole up in my room and be all gloom and doom. However, all I've been getting is buttkiss and a dose of feeling ****ty every single time. It seems like I can't even get past the first date.

Normally, I would say that there's an equitable division of blame, because it's not like everyone is compatible, etc. But these are guys who I thought I had a connection with and it's a constant disappointment over and over again. There has to be something wrong with me, but I find so much that I can't even pick out one thing and it's a general feeling of bleh that's really hard to shake.

What's even worse: this guy is running the LA Marathon, too, so it makes me not even want to go. Like I feel embarrassed...I feel like it's a place I don't belong, even though I know he'll be one of thousands of people there. Sigh, I just wish life were a little simpler.

Tomorrow: 6 miles

[gotrojansgo]

First off, I want to apologize to everyone who's been reading this, because I really do appreciate your support. Midterms was a crazy time both physically and mentally, so I haven't found the time to post nearly as much as I want to. However, I wanted to post my thoughts before I run the Los Angeles Marathon tomorrow:

The reason why I love marathons is because they really make me stop and think about life. Like who else gets to run this far and do this amazing feat? It's not every day I get to do one (or anyone, for that matter), and I think that I've really got something good going. For once I can be proud of myself and say that I did this, that it was me that made this accomplishment. For once, I can be happy with who I am, and accept the praise of others for doing something good.

When I cross that finish line tomorrow, I'll be one step closer to my ultimate goal, and checking that box off my list is going to feel so good. I know that sometimes I don't give myself enough credit, sometimes I tear myself down, but tomorrow, it's all about me and what I can accomplish, and I need to keep that in mind.

The past month and a half has been rough to say the least. My training was incredibly bumpy, not very consistent and I went through a very hard time. It wasn't really anything in particular that set it off, either, which is why I feel so stupid writing about this and trying to convey why I was so upset, but in the end, it really sounds trivial. No one died, no one was injured, there was really no loss of anything important--it was just me pitying myself for something I can't control.

I feel like, every day, I'm learning something new about myself. I'm learning something new about the way I relate to others, how I identify myself, how I interact and react--things that I would never otherwise think about. And the more I learn about myself, the more comfortable I am with myself, and that makes me feel good.

I've realized that I don't need a guy in my life to make me that happy. Yes, it would make things brighter, but maybe I'm not meant to have that yet. There are going to be days when it's tough, when it's lonely, when I'm upset, when I just want someone to hold me, but it's just like passing mile 20 in a race--you push through the pain and you move on, because that's all you can do. I can't go to a store and buy one, I can go skank around in a bar until I find one, sure, but who says that's the right one? In fact, who says that there's someone out there at all for me?

It's something I definitely plan on exploring more in the future (and yes, I promise I will keep this updated more often, I've missed writing in it), but for now, I'm going to leave it at this: I've been able to do the best that I can in the things that I can control. There are going to be things that I can't control, but I can't concern myself with them, because I have so many other great things to be happy about. Just like a marathon, life is not a journey without pain, but there is a finish line at the end of the road that makes it totally worth it.

To 26.2 miles.

Thank you to EVERYONE so far for your support--here's to a great race tomorrow from the stadium to the sea!

[apecharge]

I've been following along and think you are doing great! Here's hoping you had a successful, albeit wet, LA Marathon run!

[gotrojansgo]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/CaliforniaMarathon.jpg

Honda LA Marathon
Los Angeles, California
March 20, 2011

This was truly a test of determination, because it was me, myself and I out on that track. My parents weren't there, my friends weren't there, it was just me and the track.

Luckily, the start was a little later than Disney, so I got to sleep a little more. I drove to Santa Monica and then got on a shuttle to Dodger Stadium, and I was significantly less nervous than my first one, which I thought was a good sign!

On the way to the stadium, the talk of the shuttle was if, or when, it would rain. Most people thought it would rain around noon, when IW as slated to finish. Still, I'd dressed prepared for the weather, hoping that it would be a little drizzle here and there, because I like running in that weather. It's breezy, it's easy to breathe in, and there's little to no chance of overheating.

Unluckily for me, right before the race started, I saw the one guy I did not want to see: I'll call him "N" and I met him one time after I was done covering the Oscars. We met in yoga, when he was on a trial period, and he said he didn't like it, but he also said I should come over sometime and he'd cook me dinner. So I went over to his house and he cooked me dinner. We talked and I thought we really hit it off. For the first time, I'd found someone who was smart and motivated (he's in his 4th year of medical school at USC), funny, cute and has similar interests (he, too, was running the LA Marathon).

Then I never really heard from him again. And when I did, I was the one to initiate the conversation, and he was always too busy to meet. I was really torn up about it, but, as indicated by my previous posts, I was trying desperately to get over it. And I thought I had.

Then I saw him at the marathon, and I pretended not to notice, to see if he would notice me. I was wearing a hat, so I didn't think he would, and he didn't. I thought I was fine at the beginning of the race, but he would end up lingering on my mind for the entire 26.2 miles.

At the start, it was nice because I'd been seeded in a corral, so I was in front of the 20,000+ runners coming out of Dodger Stadium. However, as we exited the stadium and we were coming down Elysian Park Drive (literally as we were passing under the sign that says "Thanks for visiting Dodgers Stadium!"), the skies opened up and it started to rain. Drizzle at first, but then the real rain hit.

For those of you who are not familiar with Los Angeles, the drainage in the streets is not that good. So, for a good portion of the race, I may as well have been running in a river. Here's a couple pictures from the race, which I'll try to use to illustrate how wet it was:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/Screenshot2011-03-24at24418AM.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/Screenshot2011-03-24at24430AM.jpg

Despite the rain and the hills, I thought I was doing pretty well. Through mile 15, I was well above a 4:15 pace, and I thought I might actually be able to finish the race a full 30 minutes faster than Disney. I could see it in my head, and my goal at that point became 4:09:00. I knew it was a stretch, but I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could pull it off.

Then mile 17 hit. As I was running down Wilshire Boulevard out of Beverly Hills, my legs were in intense pain. I was miserable from being soaked and I could barely move, so I had to take a break at the medical tent, which didn't have IcyHot, just ice packs and aspirin. I tried to recover as much as I could and I was walking for portions of the next 9 miles.

By then, I was just trying to beat my Disney time (4:39:36), because I didn't come this far and train this hard to not beat that time, especially running in the stupid rain. Around Mile 24, I got a huge second wind, because we were running down the streets in Santa Monica, and I could actually count down the number of blocks until we hit the beach, where the finish line was. Little did I know that that was the beginning of the fight to the finish.

When I rounded the corner onto Ocean Boulevard, I could see the finish line. However, the finish line was about half a mile away, and it didn't seem to be getting any closer. I'm running my *** off at a pace that I feel is faster than I've ever run before (my Nike+ says I was running around a 7:35/mi), and I'm passing people, but the finish line doesn't seem to be drawing any closer. At all. Ever.

And then I crossed the finish line and it was over. I was officially a second-time marathoner, but all I could think about was how lonely I felt, and I started sobbing. For some reason, there was no sense of accomplishment, there was no feeling of "wow, I can't believe I just did that," it was all self-pity and depression. I was fighting to hold back tears as I went through the crowds of people, but it really was too much to bear knowing that I didn't have anyone there supporting me. I had just run what was possibly the most grueling race of my life, but I still felt like crap because no one was there to celebrate it with me.

That's when it hit me: I don't think the way I live my life is ever going to keep me happy, or even get me remotely close. Instead, I just live this numbed version of my life, hoping that feelings will go away and I can work my way around it, because I've proven to myself so far that, with some perseverance and hard work, anything can happen.

Then my thoughts started drifting back to N. I felt stupid, I felt dumb for feeling stupid, I felt alone, I wondered what was wrong with me--it was a wave of negative emotion that I really didn't let hit me until I got back to my car, at which point I turned on the radio and let it all out. An hour later, once I'd gotten home, I fell asleep listening to the sound of the rain outside, hoping everything would be better. I even texted N, congratulating him for finishing, assuming that he did.

When I woke up, I had a text from him, so I texted him back, and we ended up making plans for Wednesday. I all of a sudden had an injection of hope. All the embarrassment that I had bared this past week from having my friends sign me up on online dating sites, all the anxiety and weird bouts of sadness...I felt like they finally were culminating in something worthwhile.

Fast forward to Tuesday night: he calls me out of the blue to have a chat with me. I knew that something was coming, but I don't think I was quite prepared for it: he got matched for his residency at an Ivy League on the east coast, and he's moving out there at the end of April, so he just wanted to let me know that so I don't get my hopes up. Great.

But I didn't let that stop me from going out with him last night, I tried to keep a positive attitude. I went to dinner with him, and then we went back to his place and cuddled. I've never done this with another guy before, and I was definitely tentative, but I was SO happy that I did. I have never felt wore wanted or understood or comfortable ever, and I had a fantastic time.

Then I woke up this morning and realized that a) he might not want this to happen again (he didn't text me back again) and b) even if he did, I only have five weeks left with him. Is it really worth it to go through this? Am I going to beat myself up over it too much (even though I clearly am)? It's a rush of feelings that I've never really felt before and I don't know how to deal with because I don't think there are a lot of things about myself that I fully accept.

So now here I am. I feel like I should be ecstatic that I finished this race. I should feel accomplished. I should feel something positive. But I'm really struggling to find any kind of sunshine on this gloomy day, and it seems like this isn't the right way to feel (though is there ever really a right way to feel?). And then I feel stupid for feeling negative, which is just perpetuating the cycle. At this point, I'm just trying to keep it all together so I don't completely fall apart, and I've got my eyes on the next prize: The Bank of America Marathon in Chicago on October 9.

Finish time: 04:34:31

Tomorrow: easy 3 mile run

[orlandothebeagle]

:grouphug:

Thanks for sharing.

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Distance: 5K
Time: 29:25
Pace: 9:28/mi

You know, it's wonders what a little sleep and a little work can do for the attitude. I know I was quite the downer in the last post, so I'm trying to keep it positive this time, because being positive is the only way that you can cut it and still be sane, you know what I mean? If you're negative all the time, well then what's the point in even trying? Seeing the best in something could mean the difference between a good day and a bad day. And I've decided I'm done having bad days--I only want good days from here on out (or at least mildly enjoyable ones!)

Today was a little rough getting back out on the road, and it's always intimidating because you don't know how your legs are going to react, and, to be honest, it's frustrating not to be able to put 100% into it, but I had to keep reminding myself that it's a recovery run. This isn't the time for speed exercises--I have all summer for that. This is to help myself get better, to feel better and to start moving on to the next marathon.

With that said, I'm pretty proud of how I did. I wasn't running that fast leading up to the marathon, so I was pretty damn happy with that! It felt good to run again, I felt like I'd gained part of my life back. It also got my endorphins going, which really helped pull me out of my funk. I think last week was hard because I didn't see my friends that much and I hadn't seen them at all leading up to the race, so everything just caved in on me.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Distance: 2.73 mi
Time: 29:18
Pace: 10:44/mi

Today is an example of why I need to be much more careful. I was moving along at a pretty quick clip at the beginning of what was supposed to be a 6 mile jog. About a mile in, my right calf completely seizes up and still to this moment feels very sore. It was a quick reminder that I may feel better, but I'm not 100% healed, so I can't start going around running as if I can do anything! I need to step back and realize that I'm only a week out of LA and I need to take it easy so I can recover.

Just as a sidenote, I'm not too happy about the NCAA games today--my bracket got totally busted! I'm 0/4 in the Final Four after being 30/32 in the first round! So close, lol.

[gotrojansgo]

Ok, so after a very long hiatus (almost made it a month!) I'm back and more prepared than ever to keep up with this, lol. School is finally dwindling down and summer is almost here--my last week of classes is THIS week, eek!--so now all I have for the summer is work, a summer class and training for a half and a fall in September and October. Great, huh? So onto today...

Tuesday, April 26
Distance: 4 Miles
Time: 35:42
Pace: 8:53/mi

Not the best, but considering I've run all of 25 miles in the last month, I was pretty surprised/excited/proud of how good I felt after. Now that school is winding down, I'll finally have enough time to really focus on training. Which gets me to the next exciting point...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/MinnesotaMarathon.jpg

I've signed up for marathon #3 on my quest to 51! I'll be traveling to Minneapolis, Minnesota for the Twin Cities Medtronic Marathon on October 3, 2011, so I'm super excited about it. I haven't been back to the midwest in a while and, I totally wasn't even thinking about it, but I'll be missing the first home game of my senior year...while they're playing the Minnesota Gophers. It really is a shame that drinking before a race is so bad, because I wish I could be there to taunt all the Minnesota fans in a bar in downtown Minneapolis...but I guess I'll just have to settle for bringing my jersey and being sober, haha.

The only setback is some unexpected medical problems that have recently arisen that I have to get taken care of next week. It's nothing too big, but I will be getting surgery next Monday, and I'll have to stop running for 2-6 weeks. I'm a little scared because I haven't ever stopped running for that long (or rather, I've never not had the option to run for two weeks), and it's not like I can keep up with other stuff, too...exercise is pretty much off limits. I get the whole letting your body heal thing, but still! Ugh, it's really frustrating, so if anyone has any experience with this, or ideas about how to get around it, let me know or shoot me a PM. I would be super appreciative!

As for my personal life, I'm excited to say that things have started to look up a little bit. I think I've learned a lot in the last couple months with all my friends who are graduating me and leaving me lost and forlorn in Los Angeles (insert "overdramatic" sign here), and I'm approaching things with a much healthier attitude. I've been dating someone since the beginning of the month and everything has gone slow, but in a really good way. I'm trying really hard not to like him too much and, as hard as that is, I think I'm being at least a little successful. He invited me to his birthday bash on Friday, though, so I guess we'll see how that goes...sigh.

Anyway, I'm excited to begin this new chapter and see what new life lessons and experiences are going to come with this training cycle. Hopefully I can break 4:15 in Minneapolis and still be ready to conquer Goofy at the beginning of next year!

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Distance: 5 miles
Time: 48:45
Pace: 9:42/mi

Today was a much rougher day. It was 85 and sunny--much hotter than I anticipated! I ran at the dead of noon, so it was really, really warm and I was a sweaty mess when I was done. I had to walk a lot more than I wanted to, which was a little discouraging, but I felt so accomplished when it was over. I'm trying so hard to grow as a runner and I have to keep reminding myself that it's going to take time--it doesn't happen overnight.

On the other hand, I'm really concerned about the event I'm going to on Friday, because it's the first fourth "date" I've ever been on. I mean, I guess it's a date, I don't even know what it is. I'm scared because I'm falling into this trap again that I'm doing all this for someone else, not myself, but I want it to happen so bad that I'm willing to do anything.

[gotrojansgo]

Today, I'm unfortunately writing this journal from my bed, where I've been sidelined since Monday. It's frustrating and annoying and I've been spending a lot of the week fuming about it, so I decided I'd rather do something constructive and write about it.

Right after I ran the LA Marathon, I started having problems with going to the bathroom, as in it was very painful. Well, I got it checked out by a gastroenterologist, who referred me to a general surgeon, who told me that I had condyloma as a result of HPV. I was so embarrassed and upset and ashamed, I really didn't know how to react. It was because of some stupid, drunk decisions that I made when I was in New York two months ago (I think) and I've really been in a state of disbelief ever since.

While all this has been going on, I've been kind of seeing this guy who I really, really like. (It should be noted that 1) I fall for guys really fast and 2) I've never gone on a second date, there's always something that doesn't work out.) Our first date was great, he was really, really nice and he said some really sweet things. There was a lot of texting between dates 1 and 2, and then date 2 was a little more lackluster. Less texting between dates 2 and 3, but the conversation was definitely much deeper on date 3.

At this point, I still really like the guy, but I have a problem being vulnerable. I've never really had a lot of support in my life from anyone, so it's hard for me to open up. Now I find myself opening up to someone who I'm not even sure really likes me that much back. It's agonizing and part of me wants to pull the plug now. Meanwhile, I know this surgery is scheduled for May 2, so I don't want it to go too fast for obvious reasons.

Rewind to last Friday--his birthday party. I was the only one of his friends to make it to dinner, and the only one to get him a gift. We met up with a bunch of his friends afterward and I was trying hard not to be clingy because, after all, it was his birthday. At one of the clubs we went to, one of his friends comes up to me and starts asking questions about me and my love life. Long story short, he says there's interest and that I need to go for it.

Cut to us being shoved together on the dance floor by said friend later on in the night. It was a great time, but then this guy said he needed to go entertain his friends, which was totally understandable (there were at least 50+ people there). Fast forward to this afterparty at this guy's apartment near the club where, again, I'm trying not to be clingy. After an hour of not seeing him, I ask someone where he is. Their (drunken) response: he's in the bathroom getting his "birthday present." I was kind of heartbroken...like embarrassingly so. It's still unclear at this point whether or not he was actually doing that because everyone at that party was so drunk, but I was upset regardless.

Long story short, I drink until I pass out, wake up the next morning, still drunk, where I get dragged out to brunch with his friends (where, of course, I drink more). Then we go out, I get a lukewarm goodbye and I make it back home, where my friends and I go out to dinner and I get absolutely plastered. At this point, I don't even want to think about what had happened, I was just too scared and too upset to deal with the pain. We go from dinner, to apartment to party...to me vomiting on a corner, sobbing.

Two days later, I'm sitting in a hospital room at Santa Monica-UCLA alone, about to get this incredibly painful surgery, when I realized that this is what pushing everyone away has gotten me. I couldn't tell my family about the surgery, I didn't want to tell my friends, I couldn't tell this guy, so I was sitting in the hospital freaking out, alone.

Needless to say, it's been a rough couple days, especially since I can't run for any type of release. Right now, I'm just hoping that I'll be able to run in time for my training to start on Memorial Day, but I won't know until my post-op appointment next Friday.

I've been going through a lot of negative emotions this past week, and it's been finals, and I've been on painkillers, so it's been very hard to stay any kind of positive. I've been texting with the guy back and forth a little bit and we're meeting up for dinner tonight, so hopefully that goes better than the rest of the week that I've had. I just always thought that I could be one of those people with a tough skin who would work, work, work then come home and not care that there's no one there. But considering all I've wanted for the past 4 nights is for someone to cuddle with me...I'm starting to re-think all that.

More updates to come soon on my condition! Hope everyone had a good week :).

D

[gotrojansgo]

I'm happy to say that I'm in higher spirits and quickly recovering from my surgery. In fact, I'm able to run and be a little more active now, so as of Friday, I've been back at running. It's been a very, very hard transition after not having been able to run for 19 straight days, but I've been holding out and now I'm ready to get back on track.

But what I really wanted to discuss was recovery. I think I've learned a lot about that word over the past two weeks, in a couple different ways.

I've always been the one of my friends that's on the go all the time, always doing something, extremely motivated, etc., so being taken out by something like this was not only shattering to my esteem but, well, it was understandably humiliating. Not being able to sit down without wincing and getting shooting pains when I was at a meal was embarrassing and I didn't really want to show it at all. I didn't really tell anyone about what had happened, so this really was me going at it alone. It was incredibly difficult and, in a way, isolating.

Compound that with the stress of finals and the whole end to this weird guy situation and it was not fun at all. I bombed a lot of my finals which led to a little bit of a drop in my GPA (here's to hoping I can still graduate with honors...) because I just had no motivation to study. I really had no motivation to do anything. In a way, I hit a relative rock bottom--I haven't felt that way in a long time.

But what goes down, must come up, right? I did a lot of reflection in the last couple weeks and the healing process has been slow (both physically and mentally), but it's been happening, and I think I'm (hopefully) a better person for it.

I've always found it hard to accept the things that I cannot change, but I think that, now, I've started to understand that a little more. I wanted this relationship to happen so bad because I've never experienced being in a relationship before, but really, there's nothing I can do to control this guy's feelings for me (or how much of a d-bag he is :lol:), so I'm willing to move on.

And move on I have! Like I said, I've been running since Friday (not for time, just for distance), so here's what I've done:

Friday, May 20
Distance: 4.5 miles

Saturday, May 21
Distance: 5K

So, I'm getting there, right? My official training plan starts Memorial Day (almost a week--ack!!), so the goal this week is just to be active every day. I need to get back into some kind of shape before I start on this running regiment, no matter how small it is. The more I do now, the less painful (or hard) it will be later.

[gotrojansgo]

Ok, so Memorial Day was a bust, but only because I had an exciting offer come into my life that I really couldn't pass up. At the station where I interned my sophomore year, my boss is going on maternity leave. Guess who's replacing her??

Yes, I'm working 40 hours a week during the summer and, yes, I had to drop my summer school class, but I can always pick it up again in the fall. This is real time production experience and there was no way I was passing it up. I'm so pumped!

With that positive news, I decided to crank it tonight even though I've been exhausted (since I now get up at 4:30 am--did I mention this job is on the morning news?). Tonight's plan was 3 miles of intervals. I ended up only getting in 3.5 miles total, or 2 miles of intervals because a) I need to get to bed soon and b) I'm dragging. Ever since my surgery, it's been so hard to get back on the ball, but I'm determined to do it. This could be my last summer in Los Angeles, and I want a body that I'm proud of come July, August and September.

I may not be at a place in my life right now where I can handle a guy, or where a guy is in the cards for me, but I've realized that I still have to be positive or else life is just going to suck, and that's no fun. Now that I've moved into my own apartment, I've realized how lonely things can get. When I'm sitting at my table, eating dinner alone, it's 10 times worse when I'm upset or sad or angry or whatever about someone or something that I have no control over.

And today was a perfect example. When I first took this job, I thought I was going to be PAing from 4:30 am to 8:30 am. Go to class in the afternoon when I had to, work during the day on other stuff, go to bed early. Boom, easy, right?

Well, then things changed, and this thing opened up, 5:30 am to 1:30 pm. I wasn't going to pass it up and I know this is a huge opportunity, even if it's only for three months. But in order to do that, I needed to be flexible, I needed to be confident in my decision and I needed to have the ability to drop something if it was too much. Three years ago, there's no way in hell I would have been able to do that. I don't even think I could have made this decision a year and a half ago. So to sit here and see how I handled it, I'm proud of myself.

So now the summer is mine, it's mine to grab and mine to seize. I have 4 months and change until this race, and that 4:00:00 is mine. I want it!

Tomorrow: Yoga

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, June 2, 2011
Distance: 3 Miles
Pace: Easy jog w/ friend

So today was supposed to be 4 miles, but I'm easing back into training, so I thought this easy three was enough. I didn't want to go too hard because I've been waking up at the crack of dawn every morning, but I also still wanted a workout. I was sweating and breathing hard, so that was good enough for me.

On another note, this getting up super early is killing me--it's really rough and I definitely underestimated how hard it is! I've always wanted to work in morning news, but now that I do, it's tough. Maybe it's because all of my friends have social schedules that aren't conducive to mine since I'd like to go to bed at 8 pm? All I know is that I have to force myself to get to bed earlier, because I can't be functioning on 4 hours of sleep a night, that's just not possible.

Sorry for the short entry, but I'm starting to see stars...on a good note, I'll be in Disneyland at 4:45 am tomorrow to produce liveshots for the morning show. How fun is that??

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, June 6, 2011
Distance: 4 miles

Ok, so I'm going to try a new tempo this week: no pacing. Yes, I'm removing the clock from the equation and I'm going to focus on the distance. I want to focus on my stride, on how I run, how comfortable I am running, because I want this next 26.2 to be as comfortable as possible. Yes, I want to hit that 4-hour mark, but I don't think now is the time to worry about pacing.

The clock has been a huge motivator for me in the past, but I was reading in Runner's World today about needing to switch it up and move out of your comfort zone so, for the first time in a long time, I didn't put my watch on when I ran. It was just me and the road--and it felt great.

This weekend was super busy with my brother graduating high school and all, plus I think being around my family was enough of a stressor that I just had no motivation to run. None. It was like I hit a wall. So breaking that down today was a great feeling.

I also realized this weekend that I can't continue to have all these pre-concieved notions and I need to be a little (or a lot, in some cases) more open-minded about things. I've had this view that all the guys in LA suck, that they're so shallow, etc., but after going out in Chicago, too, I've just realized that I need to change my attitude about relationships. You can't control if people like you or not (no matter how much you try, sadly), so you just have to accept that. That's hard for me to understand, because I hate feeling out of control. I think a lot of runners do, which is why we run--it's totally under our control.

But now, I think I've started to relinquish some of the control and I feel really, really good about it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, because I'm no longer concerned about minute things. Maybe it's because my confidence has been growing, or maybe it's because I just care less now. I work from 5:30 am-1:30 pm, so I really don't have that much time for a social life, but for some reason I feel more...normal? I think that's the right word, but I'm not 100% sure. All I know is that it feels positive.

Tomorrow: speed workout

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Workout: 2.25 miles of intervals

Ok...so like last time, this was supposed to 3 miles of intervals, but I crapped out at the tail end of my interval ladder. However, I was super tired, hadn't slept and I was getting a huge side stitch. Granted, I just read in Runner's World all about pushing through the pain, getting through a rough spot, pushing yourself harder, etc., but I figure I can start incorporating this now into my workout routine so that I can do the whole interval without walking.

As for today, well, it was a rest day. Actually though! Granted, we had a last minute change to our stuff during the show, but all in all, between the show, after the show and that night, there was little to no attention on it. I wanted to do yoga, but I never got around to signing up, you know?

Tomorrow: 4 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Update for the rest of the week...

Thursday, June 9
Distance: 4 miles

I can finally tell that my speed workouts and a more consistent running schedule are paying off. I'm feeling much less winded and more confident in my stride. I'm also finding it much easier to sink into a pace that I'm comfortable with, and I'm just trying to not push it too hard too fast. I know I want that 4 hour mark, but I can't start training for that now, I have to build up to it over the next few weeks.

Sunday, June 12
Distance: 10K

It felt so good to be back on the long run regimen! Granted, 10K isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, but it was longer than I ran all week, and I did it on the beach, so I felt even more accomplished. I've always been too embarrassed to step out in the summertime because I didn't really like how my body looked, so I think I've always taken for granted the sun being out so late. I went for a run at 8:00 pm and I was able to watch the sun set over the ocean as I ran...it was absolutely amazing. It's days like today that remind me how I need to get out more and explore new areas, because when you're running, you're able to notice things and enjoy parts of the outdoors much more than if you were just driving by.

Tomorrow: 3 miles + yoga

[gotrojansgo]

Ok, so...long story short, work has been incredibly hectic. Going from a "normal" schedule to waking up at 4:00 every morning has started to take its toll on my life. I don't really see my friends that much anymore, and I'm lucky if I have any energy to walk to my bed, let alone run 4 miles, lol.

However, I'm still pushing through. A brief highlight of the last two weeks:

Monday, June 20
Distance: 3 miles

Tuesday, June 21
Speed workout: 1.5 mi of intervals

Monday, June 27
Distance, 6 miles

I know, I know, I've been slacking off big time. But I'm finally back on the ball, because I've experienced how crappy I feel when I'm not working out. And I really don't want to go back to that. I'm sticking to it!

Tomorrow: speed workout

[gotrojansgo]

Wow is all I have to say. Wow, wow, wow. I haven't worked out for nearly two weeks and it was killing me.

I got incredibly sick over the 4th of July weekend, so even though I wasn't really gaining any weight, I could feel myself losing the athleticism. There was a part of me last week, as I was laying on my bed, exhausted from work, that thought that maybe I wasn't cut out to be a runner--that I wasn't an athlete. That maybe I was just a recreational runner at best, and that this goal was much, much too lofty.

But then I started to run yesterday (on the treadmill, but it was still running) and I felt a giant brick lifted off of my shoulders. Yes, it was painful and yes I totally wanted to quit. In fact, I was even tempted to see last night's workout as a failure because I only ran 2 miles instead of 8.

Then I realized how easy it is to see everything a failure when you're already beaten down. When you're down for the count, it's easier to stay down on the ground than pick yourself up--but once you actually do pick yourself up, it's one of the best feelings in the world. It's safe to say that I went to bed pretty satisfied last night, and looking forward to a new tomorrow.

Today: 4 mile run

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, July 12
Speed Workout
1.5 miles of intervals

Again, I'm only trying to think positively, so here it goes:

Emmy nominations are Thursday, so I've been pulling 12-14 hour days at work, thus when I get home I'm absolutely exhausted. So, even though I was supposed to do three miles of intervals today, I was only able to get through half of it.

Given how tired I am (maybe 6 hours of sleep in the last 2 nights) and how much I've been working, though, I'm proud of myself for even getting on the treadmill and doing it!

I'm a little frustrated because I know, at this rate, I'm not growing as a runner, but I guess I need to learn to take my own advice, too. I've always been the biggest advocate (on here and in real life) that unless you're training for the Olympics, runners have lives, too. Life gets in the way, especially if you have a job that doesn't necessarily have set hours (like mine).

So the lesson of the day: you do the best that you can. Sometimes it's best to cruise into maintenance mode if you know it's going to be busy or you're going to be tired. It's better to stay where you are than to take two steps backward and try to jump your way ahead. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I'll finally believe it. :lol:

Tomorrow: yoga

[gotrojansgo]

Sunday, July 17
Distance: 7.5 miles

So Emmy nominations definitely got in the way of my running this week big time. But, my friend got my butt in gear and we did 7+ miles on the beach today. Not only was it beautiful and breezy, but I got to see some of the South Bay (Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach) that I'd never really seen before. It was so new that I almost wanted to just walk and look at all the houses! And, well, let's be honest: after not running for almost a week, I did walk a little bit and look at the houses :lol:.

Honestly though, I'm feeling good. I'm not completing my plan as much as I want to, but I'm getting back on track. I have a big conference coming up at the end of August that I want to look good at, and the Disneyland Half Marathon is coming up in September, which I'd like to run in under 1:30:00.

This summer is going by so fast! I remember yesterday thinking that I had three months until the Disneyland Half and that it was so much time...now it's a month and a half away and I'm freaking out a little more. Could time be going any faster??

Tomorrow: 6 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, July 19, 2011
Distance: 3 miles, 0.5 mile intervals

Quick post since I'm headed to bed, but I'm trying to get back in the habit of posting every day! I figure if I post every day, then I'll get in the habit of having something to post about, too...which should, i all goes according to plan, be running. It's an attempt--I'll keep you all updated.

As for intervals today, this was the first speed workout that I actually fully completed, and I felt ten times better about it because I was on the track, not the treadmill. Granted, I couldn't pace myself out like I could on a treadmill, but even running in a circle was better than running stationary. I felt like I was moving and the half mile intervals flew by because I knew it was only two laps. Oh, the way you can trick your mind!

Tomorrow: 6 mile run (to make up for Monday)

[gotrojansgo]

Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Distance: 1.5 miles

So I really need to stop with this whole "take a week off" thing, because it's getting to the point where it's painful. I tried to run 5 miles today and I could only run a mile and a half because of the intense stitch in my side. I could barely breathe! I actually feel so lame right now because I couldn't even make it through two miles...I'm starting to enter that self-doubt phase that I really don't want to. So I'm not letting myself(!)--I'm just flirting on the edge with it.

I've gone through a lot of changes in this past week. I was dumped yet again (which, at this point, shouldn't be a surprise, but I was holding out hope...), I moved into a temporary space and work definitely picked up.

But now I have set goals and deadlines to meet them. I'm going to a really important convention next month, so I want to look good for that. I'm running the Disneyland Half Marathon, so I want to be in good shape for that. And, of course, I'm running Minneapolis in the fall, and I want to break 4:15. I've decided that 4:00 is a little ambitious this time around, so 4:15 is what I'm going to aim for. Any improvement will be welcomed, but if I could hit that 4:15 mark, I would be out of this world happy.

Tomorrow: 8 miles at marathon pace

[gotrojansgo]

Sunday, July 31, 2011
Distance: 3 miles

So, I discovered two things today.

One, that funny feeling that I've been having in my throat that kind of feels like burning that makes eating so unfortunately unpleasant is heartburn. I didn't know 21 year-olds could get heartburn, I always thought that was a coming-of-age thing. So I bought my first heartburn pills today. Milestone reached?

Two, running the day after you get alcohol poisoning falls under the category of "horrible ideas." Let me just put it to you this way: I don't remember anything that happened yesterday past noon, except that I had nothing left in my stomach when I woke up today. Lesson learned.

With all that said, I'm still pretty damn proud that I (barely) cranked out three miles. Tomorrow is a new month--I gotta start getting with it because that 60 day mark is quickly approaching!!

Tomorrow: 6 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, August 1, 2011
Distance: 6 miles

So today I struggled through all six miles. All. Six. Miles. It was tough, I wanted to kill myself, I had to walk some of it, but I made it! And I feel super accomplished.

I also got to have a good long talk with a friend that I haven't really talked to in a while. You know that feeling of catching up that kind of keeps you grounded? I feel like I really needed that going into this new month. I have 22 days until I'm going to this journalism conference where I want to look really good, and I'm starting school, and I'm starting to look for a job--I just think a lot of things are coming to a head right now and the first thing I want to be focused on is my health, because if that's in line, then I feel like everything else can follow.

Tomorrow: Speed workout

[gotrojansgo]

Thursday, August 18, 2011
Distance: 6 miles

I'm having a severe issue following my own advice, haha! I believe it was just a few months ago that I told someone on this site that scheduling was the key, that no matter how much work gets in the way you always go for a run, etc...what was I thinking?

Getting up at 4:00 every day has been absolutely killer and has, for lack of a better term, wreaked havoc on my running schedule. It's frustrating that I've only been running here and there, but I don't think it really hit me until I was unexpectedly asked out and I all of a sudden felt in the worst shape of my life. Don't get me wrong--I know I'm always self-conscious. But this was more than self-conscious, this was like...sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I think I made sure I ran today because I was feeling like I paid the price. I had a great connection with this guy, but I'm concerned he wasn't physically attracted to me. I can tell when someone hugs me that there's no physical chemistry and, even though I hate to admit it, I don't think he was feeling it. Like I've talked about before, it sucks that there are so many factors of life that are out of our control, and love it one of them. I'm someone who likes to have control over everything, so knowing that there's a part of my life that I can't control...well, it's uncomfortable.

And with that discomfort comes emotion. Extreme, raw emotion. For some reason, this week has been really hard. I haven't been able to sleep and I've been trying very hard to work as hard as possible. Because of that, it's literally been work, work, work, sleep, work, work, work. I've been feeling down a lot lately and a little hopeless.

Part of it, I think, is the fact that I just moved into my new apartment. It's a studio and it's all mine--no one to live with, no one to see on a daily basis--and as much as I love being able to lay in bed and watch TV, I almost kind of want someone to be there with me. But that's what I also find confusing: I'm deathly afraid of entering into a relationship, and yet I want it anyway.

But that's why I ran on Thursday. I needed to clear my head. Running is simple and easy, it's one foot in front of the other. And even though I may have a million things to do when I go running, it's the idea of left, right, left, right for 6 or 7 miles that lets me release and forget about whatever emotions.

Tomorrow: 5 miles

[gotrojansgo]

Wow! I've taken quite the hiatus...I must say that life has gotten so crazy busy between school and work (worked 20 hours yesterday---!!!!) and everything else that I've had a hard enough time fitting in time to run, let alone to write about it.

Anyway, here's my chance to get back on the bandwagon. With only two weeks left until Minneapolis, I figure that now is the time to really hold myself accountable, or else I'm going to come out of Minneapolis with a bad taste in my mouth.

Rewinding a little bit, I recently ran the Disneyland Half Marathon and ran it in 1:59:41--a new personal best! How exciting is that? I was 65th in my age group (men 18-24) and I beat my goal of 2 hours! Now, I was incredibly sore and hurting after the race, and I had a few muscle spasms that almost took me down, but I did it and I was damn proud of myself that I could do it.

Now that I did that, however, I think it's time for me to set a realistic goal for Minneapolis. That goal is going to be 04:30:00--an improvement of 4:30 from my time in LA. I figured that 1) it was raining when I did LA, so that helped my time and 2) I can't push myself as hard as I've been pushing, because people have breaking points, and I'm going to reach it soon if I don't let up a little!!

Now, unfortunately, today I was not able to fit in a run. But I'll be back tomorrow with regular updates and a renewed sense of confidence! I think I can accomplish this goal in Minneapolis, because after that I'm going Goofy in Disney, and I want to be totally ready for that.

[gotrojansgo]

I'm back on the bandwagon, and it feels great!

Today I went running with a friend, and I think it's exactly what I needed. Yes it was late (I need to be up in three and a half hours...eek), but I think I get so caught up in my job and the news cycle that I forget that it's ok to have friends and surround yourself with people.

My problem is that my job is easier if I'm detached--the less distraction that I have, the easier it is to work the hours that I do, and the easier it is to convince myself that going into this crazy field isn't a mistake. But I've also learned recently that life isn't a 100 yard dash, it's a marathon, and I need to keep that in mind because that hits so close to home. I have no idea what lays ahead of me, so I need to enjoy what I can now.

That's part of the reason why I'm so driven to run, though. I feel like I missed out on a part of childhood because I was overweight and I was made fun of, and I went through a messy divorce with my parents when I was younger and I was forced to grow up fast. I feel like I've always been in an awkward position of wanting to be older but not quite having the maturity to do it. Now I find myself wishing I would have been less mature throughout college because maybe I would have enjoyed it more. *sigh* I don't know...I think I'm starting to find negatives in everything these days, which is hard to get out of my head.

With that said, though, I ran 7 miles today (7.21 to be exact). It was a little shy of the 8 I needed, yes, and I ran it at a round a 12:00/mi pace, but I'm glad I got it done. From this point on, there are no excuses. It's the middle of September and I want to finish out this year strong, because I'm tired of not being confident about my body, and I'm tired of hiding. I feel like I've finally deserved some kind of good relationship karma (although that could just be wishful thinking), but I need to start with feeling good from the inside out.

Tomorrow: 10 mile run

[WDWFAN9]

Congrats on setting a huge goal and working towards accomplishing it. Amazing!!

[gotrojansgo]

First off, I want to thank everyone for their never ending support, because it's your words of encouragement that keep me writing and keep me running. There are days when I often wonder if a) I'm crazy or b) if this is even worth it, but I'm so happy that I have such an awesome DIS support system to help me through the peaks and valleys of life and of this crazy journey.

Back to today, where I had a slight panic moment because I realized that in one week, I'll have marathon #3 under my belt! I never thought that I'd be turning 22 and have already run three marathons in three different states--the feeling is very surreal.

With that said, I'm really nervous about my preparation for Minneapolis. I was supposed to run 8 miles today but I was experiencing some major cramping, so I only eked out just short of 5. I felt really good when I was running the Disneyland half, but that was a half, not a full, and I wasn't traveling so far to do it. I'm also concerned because I was expecting a cooler start, but the start is at 8:00 AM, after the sun has already started to rise. The high is supposed to be 70 degrees...what do I wear?

I know I have a week to prepare, but being a producer, I like to plan ahead...then do everything at the last minute ::lol::.

Hope everyone has a good week!

Tomorrow: 6 mile run

[gotrojansgo]

Today was one of those days where you felt like something was wrong, so you knew you had to stop. There was a point when I was running (around a track, no less, which didn't help me concentrate on everything else but running) when my shins really started to hurt and my right calf was cramping, and it was a twinging pain. Now normally, I'm one to run through that pain, but something told me that this was a different kind of pain, so I walked to a stop.

I only made it roughly 2.5/6 miles today, but I'm still feeling good that I was able to fit in something today. You know when you make a lot of effort to plan ahead in the morning, but usually plans fall apart by later in the day? Well, I'm proud to say that I followed through on the plan at least, and even though I didn't make it the full distance, I did some upper body work, too, so I felt like it'd be worth it.

Not going to lie, I'm a little concerned about these pains and the race coming up on Sunday, but I'm hoping that as the week goes on, I'll be able to find a more comfortable stride as I wind down the miles.

Tomorrow: 5 mile run

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Quick entry because it's late and I should go to bed, even though I can't get to sleep, haha. Tomorrow's the big day!! I finished my 3 mile run today, I'm all carbed up and I'm ready to go. 4:20, here I come!

I'll let everyone know how I did tomorrow :). Follow me on Twitter at @DavidMcAlpine and you can get musings/comments before/after Twin Cities.

Woooooooooooooo 26.2!

[gotrojansgo]

Another hiatus...another month, haha. Things have been absolutely crazy in my life, and I think it's safe to say that it's been quite a rough end to 2011. A recap:

-I ran the Twin Cities Marathon in early October, at the beginning of which I was feeling great. I was keeping up with the 4:15 pace group even after stopping at the bathroom before mile 1 (yes, I'm a nervous runner that way...always stopping to pee before the first 5K :laughing:)! The race started at 8:30, which was a relatively late start, so I was glad I got to sleep in a little (though not so happy when the hotel restaurant that said they'd be open for marathon runners in the morning wasn't and I had to force the front desk to call up there and have them let me in), and it was a beautiful day for a race. My pace holder even had me hold the balloon stick because she had to dip off to the bathroom! All in all, I thought I was going to cruise to a 4:15 finish. However, at the water station at Mile 17, I got a shooting pain in my right leg, and 30 seconds later I was down on the ground, unable to get up. It was upsetting to see everyone passing me, but at the same time I just wanted to get up and finish--and apparently I wasn't the only one. The day had heated up to around 80 degrees and people were seizing up left and right. I finished in just over 4:40, which was disappointing, but I've since taken it as a setback and a reminder that I need to train harder with a more realistic goal in mind.

-My dating life has been all over the place and, to say the least, disheartening. After going on several blind dates and being set up a few times, I started to lose hope--and the need--of getting a boyfriend. I look back on it and I ask myself how I could have been so stupid, but one thing that I've learned to do this year is try to give myself a little bit of a break every once in a while. I'm young, I'm growing, and I'm learning more about myself and others--and if guys want to continue screwing me over, then so be it. :lol: I spent many days at the end of this year in my bed, upset over things that I can't control, rather than focusing on things that I can, and I really let it get me down. I didn't see my friends, I didn't focus on school as much as I should have, and I really took a hit in the self-esteem department. I know that LA is not the place for me, and as much as it sucks now, I'll be gone in 6-7 months and onto somewhere new, so I need to see the positive side of things. And as much as it's no fun to go to bed alone every night or not have someone to text when you're feeling lonely, the world is going to work its magic, and I need to sit back and see what happens.

-(CAUTION: Parents may want to close their ears on this one...I have a couple friends who are parents who got really upset with me for talking to them about this.) My parents' relationship with me has really gone downhill, to the point where I think I've determined that I don't want them to be a part of my life anymore. It was stretched to the brink when they came out to LA for parents' weekend and continued to argue over every little thing, because neither of them are willing to give in (they've been divorced for 10 years and this is only the third time they've been in the same room since). Once of those topics happened to be my graduation this May, which I know is going to be a mess logistically between those two. Well, such conversations led into in an explosive argument that ended in me telling them not to come to my graduation, because it's my day and I don't want them ruining it with their own plans. Oops.
Fast forward to this week, where I forced to split the week between my parents, 4 days with my dad in Aruba, and 4 days with my mom at WDW. According to my mom, I'm an awful son because I couldn't get two weeks off of work (sorry, that's not the way it works in the news business), and my dad managed to bring his 23 year old girlfriend with him on the trip without telling me. Again, arguments ensued that involved me being silent most of this trip, because I really have had it. I'm tired of my mom being so set in her ways and not willing to change to adapt to any kind of relationship that she wants to have with me. Everything is about her, everything is always her way, and everything that she does is always right. Meanwhile, my dad is just a pathetic ******* who really can't do anything but work and tell me how much he wished I had a real job. I almost (almost) dropped the bomb on them that I was gay and that I never wanted to see them again, including graduation, but then I realized I was just going to be as petty as they were, and I've since realized that graduation is (as much as I hate to admit it) their day just as much as it is mine. I have my whole life to be independent and not have to deal with them, so in the grand scheme of things, 6 months is not that much longer to go.

Sorry if that sounded muttled or disorganized, but I just needed to get some of that out. ANYWAY, what's better than reflecting on the past is looking ahead to the new year. So, some running goals that I have:

1. Keep a running log every time I run.
2. Run at least two marathons this year.
3. Run a marathon in under 4:10:00.
3.5. Keep this blog updated!! (:goodvibes)

I've learned a lot about manageable goals, and tangible ones, and I think that setting these three solid goals are enough to get me jump started for a great 2012. Including running this in March of course...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ppenguin757/LouisianaMarathon.jpg

That's right, I'm back on the bandwagon and I'll be headed down to NOLA in just over two months to run the 4th out of 51 on my list. Just because I've hit a couple speed bumps on the way doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.

Thanks to anyone and everyone who has been reading my journal over the past year and a half, it's been a great journey--but we should all be looking ahead to what's to come. Because personally, I know I can't wait.

Merry Christmas everyone!! (and Happy Holidays to everyone else ;))

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

So far, so good with the week! I hit a little bump in the road on Monday, but so far I've been striving to make little goals throughout the day (like when I'm lost in Target amidst hundreds of day-after-Christmas shoppers at 1:45 and I make a goal to be home at 2:30) and meeting them (or almost). I'm finding that I've become much more flexible in my scheduling and as long as I'm constantly evaluating what I need to get done for the rest of the week and making sure that no day is too piled with things to do, I'm going to be on track for success.

Another minor bump in the road: I think I lost my Nike+ chip for my iPod in Florida (and by lost, I mean left it in the room in the rush to get out the door when we left), so I've been going at it based on what I remember the mileage to be and mapmyrun.com. The plus side is that I've been wanting to get a Garmin watch for a while and I've been teetering on it...well I think this is a sign that I need to get one :P. Anyone have any suggestions?

Other than that, today was a solid 5 mile run, around a 10:00/mi pace guessing by the time I left and came back. I have a sore throat and a cold (no thanks to the hours of flying I did over the holidays), but I'm not letting it stop me for my training. One, I'm dedicated to being the best-looking person in whatever workplace I get hired in when I graduate, because I'm tired of being looked at as the nice one and the friend. For once, I want my time, and I know I have the chance to do it. Two, I'm going to Miami in 2 days for NYE :beach: and I have to look good in the little bathing suit my friend forced me to pick out! This past week in Orlando was the first time I've been shirtless in public in probably 8-10 years, so it was a big step for me.

Tomorrow: speed workout

[gotrojansgo]

January 5, 2012

Distance: 8 mile pace run

So today wasn't quite a pace run, but it was a foundation run that made me feel really good about my training so far. First of all, I kind of opted to do it while I was out (just after I got a cavity filled), so half of my face was numb from novocaine. Second, I ran the whole thing without my Nike+ pod (I left the chip in Florida), and without any pacing device period, so I was going on what I thought was 8 miles (I knew it was a three mile loop) and what I thought was around a 10:00/mile. I think the independence of the run really helped me with my confidence, because I felt like I'd learned something over the course of my training.

I was so proud of myself when I finished because I've been holding strong for my 2012 goal of a flat stomach, and I've been hitting all of my goals.

I even pushed myself to go on a date that I didn't want to go on, and it went semi-ok. I think the conversation was a little forced, and I'm kind of disappointed that he hasn't texted me since, but I'm not letting it get me down. That's the goal: positive thoughts, no toxicity. My mantra is coming through loud and clear this year: no more toxicity. And even though we're only 5 days into the new year, I can feel it already. :)

[gotrojansgo]

Monday, January 9, 2012

Distance: 8 mile run

Alright, so today was a little shortened because I kept pushing my workout back and back and back, and I didn't want to keep my gym buddy waiting (yes, I'm doing two-a-days!!), so I had to shorten it to 6-ish miles. I was hitting some serious pace goals (around 8:45/mile if I was calculating correctly) and I'm feeling really light on my feet.

I think the best feeling is that I've been working out so often, so consecutively and I'm still able to meet my distances every single day. That's what's really uplifting, because I'm feeling myself growing. I can feel myself getting stronger every day, and it's that push, that drive that's really getting me through every single workout.

Things are ramping up...awards season starts on Wednesday eeeek! This week is going to be the ultimate :scared1: factor. Slightly dreading it.

Tomorrow: Strength workout

[gotrojansgo]

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Distance: 3 miles of speed intervals

Today was no doubt a trying day, because it really started to test my limits. I came into the new year telling myself I was going to exercise twice a day, that I was going to do cardio and strength training, etc., and now that work has really ramped up and school has started and I want to have a social life again..well, let's just say it's getting ugh harder to fit all of that workout time in! It almost makes me want to go back to the part during the break when no one was around. *Almost* ;)

Alas, I can't, so I'm learning to roll with the punches. Like today, I was supposed to do 6x800m intervals, and then I told my gym buddy I'd meet up with him and we'd go to the gym. However, because of all the (completely unnecessary) primary election coverage, I was running late. So, instead of hold up him, I was proud of the fact that I sucked it up and did only 4 intervals. I still felt like I got a good workout, I was able to stretch after, and I met him on time. Even better, I'm not doing what I said I would do with respect to running in the morning and lifting at night, but I'm adapting and going with the flow.

The best part about it is that I know the David 4 years ago wouldn't have been able to do that. I was so set in my ways and if I missed a workout window by 60 seconds I would have skipped it all together because I would have been too discouraged. That's because I saw working out as a punishment or an obligation--something that I had to do. Now, I feel so lucky that I'm able to see it as a reward for my body, that I'm doing something to feel better, to look better, etc. and that it's a privilege that I can still run and jump and lift weights and that I should enjoy it while I can. That's the kind of positive outlook I'm hoping I can hold onto throughout this year.

Tomorrow: yoga!

[gotrojansgo]

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Distance: 3 miles

So today was supposed to be 8 miles, but I went jogging with my friend who just went through 2 ACL surgeries, so we just did one loop around the Rose Bowl, which was 3 miles. It was easy, but it was fun! I really enjoy working out with someone, which kind of surprises me. I used to find strength in working out alone knowing that I was improving my body and making myself look better, but I underestimated the support that someone else can provide, you know?

My friend Kyle has been pushing me to go to the gym, too, because we have the same goals: we want to look good in a swimsuit, we want to feel confident in a weight room, and we're looking for a boost in self-esteem. I never thought how much drive I could get from someone who wants to go to the gym with me, but it's really been helping! I've already worked out more days in January than I did in November and December combined! Sad, I know, but it feels like a kick start to the year.

Tomorrow begins the madness that is the Golden Globes, so here's to hoping I can at least get in some miles!

Tomorrow: 16 mile run