Red-neck letter....

[TennVolTony]

Dear Billy joe Bob,
I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for fourdays.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning,but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Your Favorite Aunt

[PandyPaws]

Originally posted by TennVolTony
, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.



LMBO!!! http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/lol.gif http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/lol.gif http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/lol.gif http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/tongue3.gif

[EROS]

Demeaning content, but I realize that many like this type of humor:( :( :( :( ..........

[WillyJ]

Really Tony!!

I would appreciate it if in the future you are careful about what you post so you don't offend our more sensitive members like little Eros. . .

:rolleyes:

[PandyPaws]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


I repeat: LMBO!!! http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/lol.gif http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/lol.gif http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/lol.gif http://www.wdwinfo.com/sites/family/tongue3.gif

[EROS]

Thanks, WILLY:) . I'm on Tony's IGNORE list, so he couldn't see my displeasure without reading your post. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) . You're right.........I'm one of the more SENSITIVE members on the CB:p :p ......

[TennVolTony]

I had no idea this would offend anyone Willy......:)..

Didn't mean for it to hit close to the belt....LOL....:p :p :p

I'll be more careful next time.........NOT!

[WillyJ]

Now see here Tony!!! I have to take exception to your reply!!! :mad:

I think you mean "close to home. . "

:teeth:

[TennVolTony]

I stand corrected sir.......That's what I meant ........:p

[snowwhitemom]

I love good humor but I think that if any type of "racial sterotype " is used its just wrong in my heart and mind, I guess I'm sensitive too.:rolleyes:

[snowwhitemom]

I am so glad that we all have the right to post whatever we think is funny. Any thing with "racial sterotypes" is bad comedy to me.

[TennVolTony]

Where do you folks see RACE in this joke? Race: Black, White, Asian, BUT REDNECK????

Give me a break.......:rolleyes:

[preshi]

I'm laughing too...

Lighten up you only live once!!:p :jester:

Actually I wonder what would have happened if you had just put something liek "Billy Bob Joke" then I bet it would have been funny!

[aahmom1]

I didn't see any racial lines crossed in that joke Tony. Jeff Foxworthy made a career out of redneck jokes.

[Kermit]

LOL :)

I've lived in the deep South my whole life and have known many rednecks, but the content of that post is extreme enough that it's just funny, not mean. Do those of you who are offended boycott The Beverly Hillbillies?

[EROS]

I would agree that there's nothing racist about the joke;) . It simply demeans a certain group of people. There are similiar "jokes" about alcoholics, farmer's daughters, firemen, doctors, lawyers, and the like. One either enjoys that type of humor or not:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by EROS
I would agree that there's nothing racist about the joke;) . It simply demeans a certain group of people. There are similiar "jokes" about alcoholics, farmer's daughters, firemen, doctors, lawyers, and the like. One either enjoys that type of humor or not:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

Don't forget golfers. :rolleyes:

"Redneck" is not a race, it's a lifestyle. :smooth: :smooth: :smooth:

[TennVolTony]

I agree JTB...us golfers are a race all to ourselves......;)

[EROS]

Now let's take JohnTBap for example. I wonder if she'd appreciate it if I published a "joke" about righteous, Southern belles:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :jester: :jester: :jester: ............

[snowwhitemom]

I agree with what most have said but unfortunaly in this area if you say redneck, most people, not all think of someone who does not like any one who is not the same as them. Not to debate it just doesn't seem right in some way, but once again I repeat I am so glad that I live somewhere that you can post freely for the people who will enjoy that type of humor.

[EROS]

http://www.bamagal.com/gwtw/images/pub4.jpg

[Amusement Park Junkie]

OK, I had to go find my collection to add to this post.

MARTHA STEWART’S TIPS FOR REDNECKS
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can’t hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3 Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
3. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

And some more worthy of Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a Redneck Jedi if.....

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookies are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

[JohnTBap]

:rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

[Lars624]

I think that Blondes were left off of the list of groups that get picked on in jokes.:D

[AF Brenda]

I've spent most of my life in the South, and I see nothing at all offensive about the letter...as someone mentioned, it is really no different than the Beverly Hillbillies and a Jeff Foxworthy CD.

And BTW, Southerners are not a different race....

[I <3 Eeyore]

I thought it was funny, Tony, but then I AM a d@mn yankee. ;)

[EROS]

Originally posted by AF Brenda


And BTW, Southerners are not a different race....

Hey, maybe not, but how many people in Boston drive pickups with rifles mounted in the backseat???;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

[Jenzebelle]

Hey, maybe not, but how many people in Boston drive pickups with rifles mounted in the backseat???


Maybe not in Boston, but New England has its fair amount of rednecks. Only here they're called "Swamp Yankees"

I thought the joke was funny. I've heard it before as an Irish version - I think he redneck version is much more easily indentifiable though.


:p

[Serena]

Most of my relatives are rednecks, though not quite this bad. lol I still think it's funny.:p

[A kid at heart]

I love redneck jokes and this one was really good! so were the other ones.

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by EROS


Hey, maybe not, but how many people in Boston drive pickups with rifles mounted in the backseat???;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Your facts are ERRONEOUS.

The GUN RACK is mounted, not the rifle.

[snowwhitemom]

I do NOT think that southerns or rednecks are a race....I did not make myself clear, sorry. I suppose the best way to say it that when I hear the term rednecks that I do think of a racist. Just my perception.:(

[UncleKyle]

Good post Tony ;) :D

[EROS]

Originally posted by JohnTBap

The GUN RACK is mounted, not the rifle.

Soooooooooooo,what makes YOU such an expert on "mounting"????????:confused: :confused: :confused:

[I <3 Eeyore]

:earseek: :earseek: :earseek:

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by EROS


Soooooooooooo,what makes YOU such an expert on "mounting"????????:confused: :confused: :confused:

What makes you NOT????

:rolleyes:

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid21/p1776107f77474f7b9bae658c88956c85/fdb09b2c.jpg

:p:p:p:p:p

[vickyBaby]

You know you're a redneck if:

You think Possum is the other white meat.

[EROS]

OK, so you have a "thing" about MOUNTIES:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: , BUT that doesn't suggest that you have any expertise in MOUNTING......rifle racks :p :p

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid21/p1776107f77474f7b9bae658c88956c85/fdb09b2c.jpg

[I <3 Eeyore]

OMG, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying here. :p :p :p

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by EROS
OK, so you have a "thing" about MOUNTIES:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: , BUT that doesn't suggest that you have any expertise in MOUNTING......rifle racks :p :p

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid21/p1776107f77474f7b9bae658c88956c85/fdb09b2c.jpg

My location alone suggests that I know EXACTLY how to handle a rifle. Care to come down and find out?

[vickyBaby]

Redneck Motor Home.

http://www.redneck.org/pix/redneckmh.jpg

[EROS]

Originally posted by JohnTBap


My location alone suggests that I know EXACTLY how to handle a rifle. Care to come down and find out?

WEllllllllllllllllllllll, seein' as how Miss Scarlett killed a Yankee with a gun, I'll reckon that you're a crack shot............but I'll bet that your shootin' is better than your mountin':p :p :p :p .....

http://www.bamagal.com/gwtw/images/pub3.jpg

[vickyBaby]

Ten Ways to Tell if a Red Neck has been Working on your computer:

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
2. The keyboard is painted in camoflague.

And the number #1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on your computer is....

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".....

[vickyBaby]

Eros, it is not very gentlemanly to discuss "happenings" in the boudoir with the opposite sex.

[EROS]

Originally posted by vickylan
Eros, it is not very gentlemanly to discuss "happenings" in the boudoir with the opposite sex.

You're right, VICKY:) :). I'm more of a Yankee scoundrel than a Southern gentleman:jester: :jester: :jester: :jester:

[vickyBaby]

It's about time you admitted you were a Yankees fan:

http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/images/header/nyy_logo_top.gif

[I <3 Eeyore]

Originally posted by vickylan
It's about time you admitted you were a Yankees fan

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

[poohandwendy]

this entire thread is making me ROLFMAO!!! Great joke Tony....