Thank you all so much for your kind words

[6_Time_Momma]

It really does mean a lot to me. Needless to say, I am having trouble sleeping tonight. Having told so many people (my parents, my SIL and BIL, his parents, etc.) the shock is starting to wear off and the extreme pain is setting in. I keep looking back at the past few weeks trying to see if I may have done something to cause her death.

I am sure some will say it isn't as bad as losing an already born child, but I cannot imagine feeling any pain worse than what I am feeling now. It is the most terrible pain I have ever felt. I truly do feel like my heart has been torn out. The image of her motionless on the ultrasound screen just keeps going through my mind.

I just can't imagine having to go through labor and then not having a baby to take home with me. We have also been disucssing having a priest there, if we want to have a small funeral (just us and grandparents), if we will hold her, etc. Horrible things to be having to think about, I tell you.

My DH is having a terrible time also as you can imagine. He, especially, struggled so much with his faith when Garrett was born, and he is going through the same thing now.

Bradley (my 12 year old) is not dealing well either. He has been crying most of the night. Brittany understands, but I am not sure she really knows what it means for the baby to be dead. The other kids don't realize yet.

Anyway, I don't expect you guys to read all this or respond, but I think it will help me in some way to type it all out. Thanks guys.:( :( :( :( :( :(

[#1 Disney Fan]

Of course we will read this, Kristy, and of course we will respond, because we care about you very very much. My heart goes out to you tonight. No words to heal your pain, but I am sending more prayers and good wishes along with another big comforting {{{{hug}}}.

[WebmasterAlex]

of course we will read it and of course we will respond.. there really aren't words that can take your pain away.. but know that there are a lot of people sharing your pain and more than a few tears.. sometimes all anyone can do is be there.....

[RhondaS]

Kristy,

You just let it all out. We'll cry and share the pain with you.

{{{hugs}}}

-Rhonda

[debster812]

Kristy,

My heart is aching for you and your family. Please know you have been in my thoughts all day.

Please do not let ANYONE try to diminish the pain you are feeling. I have no idea what you are going through, and can really not offer any words of comfort. I would be happy to help however I can, email or PM me, I would be happy to 'talk'

I think you have to do whatever feels right (what can feel right?) to you and your DH.

Hugs to you all, and to your 12 YO as well, it cannot be easy for any of you.

{{{{hugs}}}} to you

Debbie

[LemonDietCoke]

I don't know you, but my heart bleeds for you. God bless your little angel and the rest of your family.

[KaraKW]

The DIS can be a very cathartic place... We're all here for you. I can't imagine the agony you must be experiencing, but I wish there were something I could do to make it all disappear... like a bad dream of a reality that never was...

{{{HUGS}}}

[CookieGVB]

Kristy, as long as you want to share your grief and thoughts with us, we're here for you, sharing your pain and offering what little comfort we can at this sad time.

[RNMOM]

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel the service you are thinking about would be very nice and may help all of you. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[PKK/MJK]

Kristy,

I wish there were words that could take away your pain!! What devastating news you are trying to cope with!! Please do not torture yourself--you did NOT do anything to cause this!!! For some reason, which we'll never understand, God wanted your beautiful, little angel in heaven with Him. While you may not be able to hold her in your arms, you will always hold her in your heart. God Bless you and your family!! May He give you the strength to endure this tragic loss! {{{HUGS}}}

[catsrule]

I am sorry for all your pain, Kristy. I hope you can find some comfort with us, your family, and God.

[minniecarousel]

That's what we're here for - to support one another. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[mrsv98]

My heart is breaking for you Kristy. Of course she is real to you, and she always will be. The only comfort I can give you is to say that she is with God and you will see her again someday. She will be watching over you and waiting for you and will know how much you love her.

My totally unsolicited opinion is that a small service would be a nice way to celebrate her, even the short time you had with her. Be strong and know that we are here for you.

[Keli]

Kristy, I'm just so sorry. There are a million things I'd like to say but I'm not sure what would help and what would not. I never have known how to comfort others in their grief very well but I just want you to know that although I am clumsy with words my heart feels for you intensly.

[supercarrie]

{{{HUGS}}} We are all here for you, hun, for whatever you may need in this time - love, support, prayers, or just a place to let it all out. I will continue my prayers.

[Liz]

You'll know the right thing for you when the time comes. I so feel for you and am so sorry your whole family is having to deal with this. So much sad news on the DIS right now. :(

[Dan Murphy]

Kristy, your little baby is most assuredly with the angels in heaven. God bless you, and may she be a guiding light for you for all your life, till you see her again. {Hugs}

<center><IMG height=250 src=http://www.pregnancyandinfantloss.com/remban.gif></center>

[tiggerlover]

Kristy, I have no words of comfort for you during this most difficult time. Just know that there are many of us out here that care and are keeping you and your family in our prayers. {{HUGS}}

Debbi

[KimRaye]

"Kristy- Mommy to five little devils and one tiny angel."

That, Kristy, speaks volumes!

I am soo saddened by your loss. Continued prayers for comfort, peace & understanding during your grief.

And also, most sincere {{HUGS}} and comfort for the delivery.
:( I can not even imagine but, I hope I can offer support.

God Bless all of you.

[Jeff in BigD]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Your family will be in my prayers. :(

[kejoda]

Kristy my heart just aches for you. I'm so sorry that this happened. If it helps any when my niece lost her twins they had a funeral and she said it made a world of difference. Many hugs and Prayers for you Kristy.

[meeshi]

Kristy, my heart is breaking for you and your family. Please know that there are many people praying for you during this time. :(

[honeywolf7]

Kristy, of course we will respond. You need all the kind words you can get right now and that's what we're here for. We may not be able to give you real hugs, but we can certainly give you virtual (((Hugs))). I can't pretend to understand your pain, but I can be here for you when you need to let some of it out...again, that's what the board is here for. I'll be sending lots and lots of prayers your way.

[CamColt]

Oh, Kristy, type away all you want! Do whatever makes you feel better. We are all here for you.
Continued Prayers and Pixie dust going your way!!!!

[glo]

Kristy, of course we will read and of course we will be here to supoort you. I know that my heart aches for you and your family. I am praying for you, but the right words escape me at the moment. I am so sorry....You come here and vent and lean on us all you need.

Hugs

[Disfan1]

There is an organization called the Compassionate Friends that is just for people that have lost babies & children. I'm not sure but the website might be www.compassionatefriends.org (http://www.compassionatefriends.org) I have been through a similar experience and this group really helped even though I never went to a meeting I received their newsletter for about a year. Just knowing that other people have been through this before helped me. See if there is a chapter in your area & sign up for their newsletter. PM me if the link doesn't work & I'll try to find the info again. :(

Lori

[yepod]

Kristy, we are here as your extended family for your support.
Again, I can't find the words to express my sympathy & heart ache for your loss.

[bsnyder]

Hugs to you, Kristy! I have been thinking of you constantly since I saw your post early evening yesterday. I continue to keep you and your DH and your sweet baby girl in my prayers, along with your other children. I pray that God's infinite love and comfort be a solace to all of you in the days to come.

[helenabear]

Kristy, if there was something I knew would help take the pain away, I'd say it to you or do it for you. My heart is truly aching for you right now and I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Come here as much as you need to. We are all here to listen, give you support as well as a shoulder to cry on. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope you find the comfort and support you need during this time. {{{hugs}}} to you all.

[believe]

Kristy..I am keeping you and your family in my prayers!!! I know this is difficult to do, but please don't blame yourself. There is a reason that God has chosen your child to help fill His heavenly garden.

[Leota]

Kristy, I can't imagine the pain you are facing - I lost a baby, much earlier in the pregnancy & I thought I "should" just "deal" with it - not be as upset as I was - After a week, I was basicaly immobilized from the depression - so my best friend came over & we lit some candles & said some prayers - having our own "service" - We cried together & afterwords, while I was still crushed, I was able to move on more easily - I hope your service helps you & your husband get thru this nightmare....
Sending you all the strength & wishes for healing love & peace to envelope you & your family....

[Regina]

When a tragedy like this happens, it's only natural to search for a reason. Please don't blame yourself. You have enough to get through without burdening yourself with guilt for something that you had no control over.

I'll continue to pray that you and your family find the strength to get through what lies ahead.

[becka]

Kristy I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family. :(

[Mskanga]

Kristi,
I am speechless but I do want to say that I am very sorry for your loss , please don't blame yourself, it just wasn't meant to be a full term pregnancy.
Please talk to us anytime you want to, we care for you and we hurt when you hurt but we want to be there for you.
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

[janette]

I wish words could make the pain go away. Know that you aren't the only one shedding tears at the thought of your sweet angel. I can't imagine such a loss and the pain all of you are going through.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}

[ripleysmom]

{{{HUGS}}}

[Kteacher]

{{{{{ Hugs }}}}}} to you. :(

[ByTheSea]

Again, we offer our deepest sympathies although we don't know you or your family personally.

A close family member when through a similar tragedy, and it is a tragedy. They did choose to have a service, and it was attended by over 100 family and friends. I believe it aided the healing/grieving processes for many.

You have lost a member of your family. You and your family need to grieve....

[jx3smom]

I am so very sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you today and all the difficult days to come.

[Miss Jasmine]

Kristy,
I have to be honest to say that I am shocked to read these two threads this morning. We are a family here on the DIS even if we don't really "know" each other, and your pain is our pain. We are here for you. Even if you just want to come and vent on a thread, or if you want a shoulder to cry on, or if you need support...we are here for you.

I really think that a small service would help with the healing. After all she is real and you loved her so very much...you need to acknowledge that. There's no need to hide it.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. :( You and your family will be in my prayers as you go through this time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[JerseyJanice]

So sorry for your loss! :(

My condolences to you and all your family. {{{hugs}}}

[Lars624]

My heart goes out to you & your family so much. I know that there isn't anything that anyone can say at a time like this other than that we are all thinking of you. You are all in my prayers.

[browneyes]

Originally posted by 6_Time_Momma
Anyway, I don't expect you guys to read all this or respond, but I think it will help me in some way to type it all out. Thanks guys.:( :( :( :( :( :(

{{hugs}} Nothing I can say can help diminish your pain, but I hope you know I care and I'm sad about your little girl. {{hugs}}

[KathiWithAnI]

I am so sorry to hear about this. Many hugs and prayers go out to you and your family.
Just picture yourself in the middle of a great BIG group hug and know we are here for you.



Kathi
mom of 4 little devils and 2 little angels

[bfeller]

Kristy, if it helps you to write to us on the DIS then keep on writing. I thought of you and your family all through the night last night. I hope today can bring you some small hint of happiness and a smile can find itself on your face even if for a moment. I know that you did nothing to cause any harm to your baby. You are not that kind of person. Take care of yourself and your family today. Take it a one minute at a time.

With heartfelt sympathy,

Betty:(

[faith]

My heart goes out to you. Wish there was something to say to ease your pain. Hugs, and prayers for you and your family.

[newmousecateer]

{{{HUGS}}}

[Val]

Kristi- please accept my families deepest sympathies. You and your family are in our prayers. We, too, lost two little ones (one at 15 and one at 16 weeks). A little service was very painful at the time, but very helpful in the long run. We also commemorate our angels with a special tree ornament and our family prayers. This little girl is a part of your family, and will always be....its okay to hurt and grieve (people always seem to say "get over it")... I so wish I had some magic words or deeds that would take away your pain. God bless you and your family....

Mom to 4 little devils and 2 angels!

[heath dog]

You take your time and you grieve for your loss. No matter how old the child is, I don't care. It is still painful. You have suffered a great loss and just know that we are here for you.

[Kitty 34]

My heart is crying for you, Kristy. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}


Please feel free to "talk" to us any time about your feelings!

[bananiem]

When my friend had a stillborn girl the hospital let them have as much time with her as they wanted. The nurses took pictures so they would have something to have of her. I'm hoping your doctor and nurses will be as helpful in any way you choose.
I'm just so sorry this happened.

[ckr]

Ditto what Val said above. Just because your baby wasn't yet "alive" outside of the womb, she was alive in you -- and in your dreams and your hopes and your plans for your family's future. I lost 2 pregnancies at 8 weeks. Even at such an early stage (not having felt them move, knowing the gender, nor picking out names, etc.) I felt a HUGE loss. And I, too, struggled with my faith.

All I can offer is a long distance cyber hug and the knowledge that time will heal your pain. Best Wishes.

[Blondie]

You may already know (or may not) that I work on L&D, and we see this happen quite frequently. Very often there is absolutely no reason at all, and nobody ever finds out why.

Make sure you ask for a 'memory box.' Most hospitals supply them. It may give you comfort after you've gone home, and in the years to come. You will be able to place some personal effects in there of the baby's. It will also be something your other children might want to look at as well. (if your hospital cannot supply you with one, PM me and I will be happy to send one along to you)

It truly is a test of faith, but a test that I believe makes couples even stronger.

{{{hugs}}}

[DaisyDebbie]

HUGS to you Kristy. You and your little angel will be in my prayers

[crazyme5kids]

Tears for you and your family.

[SilverLily]

Kristy, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say other than you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope you and your DH can find some comfort and peace with each other and with your beautiful children.

[gemmie214]

My heart aches for you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

[cinlee3]

I don't know you but have read your posts and I feel terrible for your loss. My heart is just aching as I read this. You did nothing to cause this. I can not imagine what you and your family are going through. May God give you peace and comfort during this very difficult time.

[pajamommy]

I hope we've been a comfort to you. We're here for you, Kristy.

[Patrick IL.]

Kristy,
whatever it takes, typing it out, people responding, tears, ect...Know we all care and feel the pain your family is suffering right now. I will continue to say a prayer for you all
hugs
Patrick

[binny]

(((hugs)))
You have every right to feel how you are feeling!! DONt ever let anyone tell you otherwise!

Your feelings are your own and very valid.

I am praying for you today.

[Michelle]

Kristy, as much as you need to talk, we're here to listen. Please take care of yourself, and you and your family remain in our prayers.

{{{HUGS}}}

[Kermit]

I'm so sorry. You've been in my thoughts and prayers almost continuously.

People are going to say things that hurt you over the next few weeks and days. I'd like to believe it's because most of them are blessed enough to have never dealt with anything like what you're going through. Please don't let them make you think that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling. It's your loss, and no one can tell you what's right, not even someone who's been through the same thing.

{{{Hugs}}} You'll continue to be in my prayers.

[Zurg]

Our hearts are with you.

[luvdzny]

People will say many things to you that will seem cruel, at least that is what happened to me. It is hard, but try to remember that they really are trying to help. There were many times when I just wanted to tell everyone to "shut up and leave me alone" because they had no idea what I was going through. Don't worry about what other people think, and don't be afraid to let your feelings show, this was your baby, and no one can tell you how to feel. We had memorial services for our babies, with just immediate family, and I am glad we did. Just do what feels right, and don't worry about anyone else. My heart goes out to you.

[Teejay32]

I'm just reading about this Kristy, I'm so sorry to hear it. No matter what people will say to you, maybe in a misguided effort to help, there's no doubt that this is a terrible loss for you and your family of the most painful kind. Words fail.

Welcoming your tiny angel into the world and into our hearts today, God bless her.

[bashful64]

Kristy I am so sorry to hear that you lost your baby girl. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Boots]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I am keeping everyone of you in my thoughts and prayers. We are all here for you anytime you need us.

[Amy]

Kristy, you do whatever feels right for you! If you want to hold your little girl, go right ahead. If that will make you feel uncomfortable, then don't. If you want the nurses to take pictures for you, then have them do it. (If you're not sure, I'd have the nurses take the pictures and put them in an envelope so you can look later if you change your mind.) If you want a small memorial service or no service at all, do what feels right for you. This is such an awful time for you right now, and you have to think about YOU.

Be prepared - you're going to hear lots of stupid, stupid things over the next few weeks and months. Be strong, and try to remember that people say stupid things because they don't know what to say.

And believe me, you did absolutely nothing that caused your daughter's death! When my baby died at 27 weeks, I went back over the entire time I was pregnant and couldn't find anything I did wrong. The doctors did an autopsy - perfectly normal baby. The doctors did tons of tests on me - perfectly healthy. Of course, when I went back to work I had to face a co-worker who was also pregnant, and she smoked the entire way thru her pregnancy and had a healthy baby. Life isn't fair.

I've been praying for you, honey. I know the pain of going thru labor knowing you're giving birth to a lifeless child. Please, please PM me if you need a shoulder; I had no one to talk to when it happened to me, and it was just awful!! I'm here for you, Kristy. {hugs}

[WDWHound]

I just wanted to say again how sorry I am for your loss.

[Colleen A.]

If I could reach through these cyber space walls, I would hug you and try to take the pain away. I know that's not possible. Even if I could reach you, the pain would still be there.
When I had Kyle, we had him, I want to say baptized, but that's not the proper term. We also were given a small framed plaque with his name, the date, height, weight, and his little foot print. It is something that I hold dear to my heart. We had his funeral but the only ones there were the priest, funeral director and us. My "family" couldn't handle it. That still bothers me to this day.
You will do what your heart tells you is right. You will experience so many emotions....extreme sadness, despair and anger. I was also like you - I had an amneocentitis done and I was told I was having a perfectly normal baby boy. One month later, he was gone. They did tests on me and we had a autopsy performed and there was not one medical reason why he was taken away. It still haunts me and it has been 9 years on June 26th. I know the doctors assured me it was nothing to do with the amneo, but I can't understand how a perfectly normal baby would be gone so soon afterwards. I guess it's an answer I won't know til I see him again.
Please don't hold anything inside. We're all here to listen and to try and offer comfort. You never realize how many people share this horrible experience. You will see your daughter again, just as all of us will see our children.

Hugs and Prayers,
Colleen
Mother to Kirk, Jeana, Kyle and Jessica

[SonjaB]

Kristy, I can't even imagine the pain you're in right now. I have two little boys and the very thought of losing one of them is more than I can bear. I can't even let my mind go there for more than a few seconds, it's too overwhelming. Please know that my heart is broken for you and my thoughts and prayers are with you. God be with you and hold you and your family in His loving hands. :( :( :(

[ugadog99]

My heart just breaks for you, Kristy. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I wish there was some way we could all be of help to you. Please know we are thinking of you and your family at this very difficult time. :( :( :(

[Poohbear123]

My Step Daughter lost her baby at the beginning of her 3rd month about 3 weeks ago. :( I posted about it here, and everyone responded and gave me good wishes and cyber hugs.......that is why we all are here. :o Faith. {{{Hugs}}}.

[C.Ann]

I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain - to erase any doubts from your mind as to why this happened - but I know that isn't possible..

So what I will say, is please do whatever is necessary for you to get through this terribly tragic time.. Grieve at your own pace, and know that I will be praying for you and your entire family..

Hugs for you all..
C.Ann

[Mickey's sunshine]

More {{hugs}} for you Kristy. I can not imagine the pain you are going through. :( I am so very sorry for you and your family.

[Jennyfyar]

I will continue to pray for your family. I am so sorry this has happened to your baby girl.

“ F O O T P R I N T S ”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

“Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when I needed You most You would
leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My son, My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I
carried you.”

Author Unknown

[tigercat]

Just want to say that you are still in my prayers. A baby is as important to a mother as early as she knows she is pregnant. Grief is different for everyone but I know my ds who lost a child when she was 7 months was as upset as I was having lost my ds at 2 1/2 days after birth. Everything is relative. If you are really excited about the new addition than losing your child at any time period is really hard.
tigercat

[luv2nascar]

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now
My loss was at 10 wks so I didn't have the opportunity to have
a priest/minister present - but if I was you I would explore that opportunity. It may not seem like it is helping out at the time but as you look back on this later I think you will get some sense of peace from a small funeral.

I would also encourage you or let the hospital take pictures of your baby and a picture of you and your baby if you are able.

It wouldn't have to be something that you have to view right away but someday when you are ready you may really appreciate it. I know a friend lost twins at 23 wks or so. The hospital took pictures & made a folder for her & her husband to take home with the pictures, foot prints, etc. The hospital also took care of the arrangements for the funeral & cremation of her babies.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I hope for you the actual process is as easy as possible physically because I know emotionally it is very hard on you.

Don't feel that you shouldn't be grieving just because you didn't go to term & have a still born baby. This was still your baby no matter how many weeks pregnant you were. Take all the time you need to heal from this loss.

God bless you and your family.