View Full Version : That's one way to clean out my freezer :(

05-23-2010, 06:30 PM
Well, I have successfully cleaned out my freezers, refrigerator, and pantry before our big trip with two weeks to spare, but it's not the way I had in mind.

My Dad passed away last week with Alzheimer's. I still don't think it has sunk in. He was 83 years old. Up until a couple of years ago, I was taking care of him and Mom by myself. As his Alzheimer's worsened and Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, it got to be too much. I made the gut wrenching decision to put him in a nursing home.

Living in a rural area, there were no local nursing homes willing to take him. Fortunately, we were able to find one within a few minutes drive of both of my brothers who were more than happy to do whatever they could. They alternated weeks on which one would stop by and feed him at lunch and supper each day. I can't say enough about how much I love my brothers.

Anyway, I stayed with Dad night and day for the last week he was with us. I felt so bad for my baby brother. He and Dad were very close. He was in the hospital himself having surgery, but checked himself out immediately after he woke up so that he could be with Dad too. It was comforting to me that both he and I were with him when he passed.

Sorry to blubber on. Anyway, we are from a wonderfully huge Catholic family. My dad is the oldest of ten siblings, all but one of whom are still alive. I have more first cousins than I can sit down and count. I can't even begin to tell you how many second cousins I have. Thank goodness I have 7 acres of land where we were able to park vehicles, that they carpooled from the hotel, and that they came and went in rotations is all I can say.

In the three days that they were at my house, I now have my freezers and pantry back under control. It wasn't the way I had in mind, but I do believe I win the pantry challenge.

Rest in peace, Daddy. I will always cherish every memory.

05-23-2010, 06:35 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My Mom has dementia so I can relate to the long road you've been on and I hope you find peace in your faith and your friends.

Jennifer in MI
05-23-2010, 06:57 PM
You are way too young to lose a parent. I'm so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug:

What a blessing your family has been. I'll pray for you and your mom!

05-23-2010, 07:38 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I, sadly, know exactly how you feel - I'm almost 36 and I lost my daddy 3 1/2 weeks ago from a heart attack. I'm completely lost without him here. Please know you are in my heart and prayers!! (and something else we have alike - I have a "baby" brother too who was there for me...he is 23). Love & blessings to you!

05-23-2010, 07:46 PM
Thank you very much. My knee jerk reaction was to cancel our vacation, but I know that is not what Dad would want at all. I'm realizing that life is too short and I had better make all of the memories I can.

05-23-2010, 07:58 PM
My prayers are with you. My own Dad's health is really concerning us at the moment and the thought of losing him breaks my heart. But we feel we've already lost my Grandma to Alzheimers so I think I know your pain.

Honor your Dad's memory, go on the vacation like he would have wanted. I'm sure it will be a great bonding & healing time for your family.

Lora W.

05-23-2010, 08:37 PM
I am so very sorry. I am learning that no matter how old you are, or what the situation you are never ready to loose a parent. :hug:

Don't cancel your vacation. I went shortly after I lost my mum and I needed that trip so very badly. It wasn't the happiest trip, and I cried a lot more than I usually do at Disney, but it was a safe place with no outside worries or pressures that allowed me to decompress and grieve. When I got home I felt much more able to face the world. You've been caring for your parents for a long time and you deserve this trip.

05-23-2010, 08:59 PM
Thank you very much. My knee jerk reaction was to cancel our vacation, but I know that is not what Dad would want at all. I'm realizing that life is too short and I had better make all of the memories I can.

My MIL died at 90 about 2 weeks before our trip to Disney. She'd had dementia for a couple of years. We debated cancelling, but went anyway, and I think it was for the best. It took us away from our routine, gave us a chance to breathe and appreciate the family that my DH and I are together.

DH and I live by the words of wisdom that a great-aunt gave us once. She told us that she and her husband, my great-uncle had scrimped and saved and planned out all the wonderful trips and things they'd do after he retired. Well, he retired and 6 weeks later, he died. She never got to make those memories and she told us to make all the memories we could while we were both alive.

You obviously know that already! Go, have fun. Make good memories to take with you through life and take time to appreciate the loved ones who are here with you.:hug:

05-23-2010, 09:04 PM

05-23-2010, 10:05 PM
So sorry for your loss.

05-23-2010, 10:18 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss :grouphug:

My father passed away just a few weeks ago as well (he was 82). I personally find great comfort in the fact that he is no longer suffering. I hope with a bit of time you can find some comfort as well.

My daughter and I planted a rose bush and made a garden stone as a memorial to my father. I can see it from my bedroom window, as well as the kitchen. Every time I look at it, many good memories come flooding back (his favorite song to torture us with as kids was the Irish song "The Last Rose of Summer"). I am also reminded that while he has left this earth, he left a great legacy in his children and grandchildren and will forever live on in our hearts. It sounds like your father was the same way.

05-23-2010, 10:57 PM
Thank you all so much. I'm just not sure I know which way is up yet, but having things to do (such as handling final arrangements and planning this trip) helps.

MomtoOne, thank you for that garden idea. We are in the middle of remodeling our house and we plan on redoing our back yard this summer. I was thinking about adding a flagpole in our front yard (Dad spent 35 years in the military), but it would be nice to have a nice nook in our back yard where I could go when I need it.

I just miss him, but I am glad he his not suffering anymore. You are right that he left a legacy of love in his children and grandchildren.

05-24-2010, 11:25 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. The garden area or flagpole both sound like lovely ideas to honor your father's memory.

05-24-2010, 12:43 PM
I lost my mom to alzheimers back in Feb of this year after being her sole caretaker. Count your blessings that you had family to help.
I went to Disney for mother's day.
If you need a shoulder, PM me.

05-24-2010, 01:22 PM
I am sorry for your loss. You had such a difficult road to travel, and you are gracious to recognize the value of your extended family.

My Dad passed away nine years ago yesterday, and I miss him every single day. I know I would have had a far more difficult transition if I had not had my cousins, aunts and uncles to hold me up.

God bless you with peace.


05-24-2010, 02:56 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

05-24-2010, 03:21 PM
I am so sorry for your loss :hug:

I lost my dad almost a year ago and I can tell that while things will never be the same they do get better. I think finding a special way of honoring him is a great way to keep him in your everyday life. I am in the middle of making a t-shirt quilt with his favorite tees.

stinkerbelle's mom
05-24-2010, 04:02 PM
So sorry for your loss. :hug: