Grrr...RANT...warning!UPDATE--Pg2 [Archive] - The DIS Discussion Forums

UrsulasDaBomb

08-12-2002, 11:21 AM

Grrr...I am so ANGRY right now.:mad: Yesterday I went to a message board/chat for those who are TTC(trying to concieve).I asked a few questions,because when it comes to TTC I am completely ignorant.I thought all you had to do was have sex with your partner/SO and eventually you would be pregnant.NOT SO!!!:mad: You have to chart your BBT(base body temp) every day and go to the OB/GYN like 2X a month to check for fertility and if you're like me and have irregular cycles(sometimes 28 days,sometimes 36-40) and a high-stress job,you might as well <i>forget</i> about ever getting pregnant I was told.Plus because I am not willing to turn my LIFE upside down in order to get pregnant,several chatters called me selfish.I was told I wasn't fit to be a mother,let alone even THINK about getting pregnant.I was so upset and hurt by their comments that I had to leave the chatroom because I had started to cry.

Ok sorry...had to rant.Anybody else go through this kind of thing?

shep

08-12-2002, 11:25 AM

We just stuck with the first part & put the rest in God's hands..:)

Annie&Hallie'sMom

08-12-2002, 11:26 AM

No, but I am one of those going through infertility treatment. And yes, I am basically scheduling my life around my cycle. But I don't think you are selfish for not wanting to do that. It's your choice and that's that. Plus you never know what may happen...don't let some "baddies" get you down.

bfeller

08-12-2002, 11:30 AM

So sorry that your feelings were hurt. You know what is right for you and what feels comfortable. Just hang in there and I am sure things will work themselves out.

Kermit

08-12-2002, 11:31 AM

Those places will make it sound like you have to do all that stuff, but it's really not necessary for every couple. I started to feel like we had to go high-tech when we were TTC a few times, but then I remembered that high school girls get pregnant on accident every day, and they're obviously not taking Robitusin a few hours ahead of time and then standing on their heads afterwards. ;) :)

Seriously, doing all that stuff will introduce stress, which decreases your fertility. I suggest that you start by just practicing a few common-sense, low stress tips that will increase your chances, and you can add all that other stuff later if you don't have good results. I'll PM you some tips that are easy. If you still haven't conceived after a few months, you can start doing all that other stuff. Visiting your doctor twice a month sounds rediculous to me. As long as you know you're ovulating, I don't see the point.

Good luck! I know you probaby hear this a lot, but relax if you can. Both of the times that I got pregnant (one with my miscarriage and once a few months ago), it was on accident. We were actively trying, but I was fertile when I wasn't expecting to be. The months that we did everything right nothing happened.

mrsv98

08-12-2002, 11:32 AM

Ursala, that is RIDICULOUS!! I used to frequent a TTC board, but I have to say, many times I would leave for long periods because it would make me nuts. NO ONE has the right to tell you haw you handle TTC and that unless you give it all of your attention you are selfish. I don't know anything about your fertility history, but I would highly recemmend "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It is an excellent book and will teach you more about your body and cycles than any health class you ever took. It is not just fot TTC, it is more about learning your own body and it's rhythms. I used it and conceived in 6 months (which at age 34 wasn't bad)...a friend of mine used it and conceived in 1 month, boy was she surprised! Yes, you do take your temp every am before you get out of bed, but if you get a digital, it only takes a min. Charting is good, especially if you are irregular, but again, takes very little time to do. In fact, I had a computer program that I used that made all the assumptions for me, all I had to do was enter my temp and it gave me all sorts of info. My mom likes to tease me about using a comp to get pg!;)

ANyway, don't let people get you down, just be yourself and *try* not to obsess! Also, unless you are really comfortable once you are pg, then I wouldn't go near any of those boards. Whenever anyone had trouble or hit a milestone like feeling the baby move, it made me NUTS!

Good luck!

Dan Murphy

08-12-2002, 11:33 AM

UDB, there are mean spirited people on all boards I think, lord knows the DIS has its few also. I know of the 'scheduling' you speak of, adoptive parents we are, though multiple monthly visits to doctor seems a bit much. Just wanted to pass on a {hug]} to you this morning. :sunny:

Disney Doll

08-12-2002, 11:34 AM

Sorry your feelings were hurt. It's a difficult process. DH and I tried for several years to conceive, with no luck, but I, like you, was not willing to plan my entire existence around my monthly cycle.It was bad enough when we were doing the in vitros that we had to plan things around med times etc. I often wonder if all the focus didn't hurt more than it helped.

Do what's right for you, and if it is meant to be, it will be.If it's not meant to be, then eventually the reasons why it was not meant to be will be revealed to you. The universe unfolds as it should.It took me a LONG time to come to this level of acceptance, but you will get here too.

Toby'sFriend

08-12-2002, 11:42 AM

Most of those women on the TTC boards have been in the "Trying" phase for years. Some of them have extremely heartbreaking stories of infertility and multiple miscarriages. I have a feeling that you probably hit on a sore spot with more than a few of them.

You've only been trying for about a month now. If I were you I'd go the the Gynecologist once for an exam and advice. Also maybe a prescription for a good Prenatal vitamin with lots of folic acid.

You can start thinking about the more complicated procedures and techniques after a year or so if you still aren't pregnant.

UrsulasDaBomb

08-12-2002, 11:53 AM

Thanks guys...they just really got to me.It's bad enough that I'm already*counts on fingers*10 days late and craving ranch dressing on everything,but I've also been crying over the slightest thing lately too.Makes me think I am but I'm afraid to think that I am after that last big 'scare' where I was without good ol Auntie Flow for nearly 3 straight months.I have a busy life,retail is never an exact thing...my schedules change from week to week so I never know when I"ll be working and with DH in retail too,it makes finding time to 'do the deed' let alone schedule a gyno appointment darn near impossible!!I've thought about reading that book,"Taking Charge of YOur Fertility" but the website I went to had portions of the book ont he website and from what I read,it's horrifying!Espec to someone like me who barely has time to DIS,let alone keep track of her cycle!Up until now,it's just been something that happened every month and I had a general idea of when it's supposed to happen but if it was late I was never really all that worried.I guess now I should worry,since I was told that having irregular cycles means you almost never ovulate and if there's no egg,there can't be a baby.It's all very frustrating,esp if you're like me and used to getting what you want on the first shot.Grr...makes me want to rend things I swear.:mad:
BUT I will try to calm down and let nature take it's course.Honest.

disykat

08-12-2002, 11:53 AM

Here's a thought. If you don't want to do that stuff (why would you if you just started thinking about this?) stay off those boards.
They are for people struggling with infertility.

UrsulasDaBomb

08-12-2002, 11:57 AM

diskat...how was I supposed to know that?:confused: All I had were some questions that I thought maybe could get answered there.*feels like crying now*I'm sorry....I made a mistake and I swear it's one I"ll never make again.I'm just a fertility idiot...:(

tiggerlover

08-12-2002, 12:00 PM

{{{HUGS}}} Ursala, a PM is on its way to you now.

Debbi

:bounce::wave::bounce:

Kallison

08-12-2002, 12:01 PM

Are you having infertility problems or are you just trying to conceive? You can purchase over the counter kids to tell when you are ovulating and have fun! If you don't get pregnant within a reasonable amount of time, which for me would be about 6 months, then you should have a full work up by your Ob-gyn to see if there are any problems and DH too. Good luck!

UrsulasDaBomb

08-12-2002, 12:05 PM

Thanks,tigger and Kallison.
We don't know if we should wait six months and then go see a dr or if we should go right now(as the chatters suggested)because I've always had irreg cycles and we've not been on birth control for almost 3 1/2 years.I just don't know...I'm trying not to get stressed out but when you are as easily frustrated by this stuff as me it's easy to do.:( I thought getting pregnant was supposed to be easy...after all teenage girls do it every day,don't they?:confused: And DH and I are young and in fairly good health,so why shouldn't it be easy for us?:confused: I guess if we got pregnant easily,we'd just upset everybody who's had infertility issues and then everybody would be angry with me...I just can't win!If I don't have a kid,I"m a freak but if I get pregnant easily...a whole other group of people are pissed off at me...what's a girl to do?:confused: :confused: :confused:

bsnyder

08-12-2002, 12:20 PM

I'm like browneyes....got pregnant on the pill and had two kids within 15 months. I've also dealt with the other extreme and had to have IVF to concieve child #3.

Ursula, I would recommend tbat you go ahead and make an appointment to see your regular OB-GYN. It can't hurt to have a check up, and maybe the doctor can put your mind at ease a little bit.

goofygirl

08-12-2002, 01:58 PM

Wow, those TTC people were rough on you!

Well, you're always be welcome back into the childfree camp if you should decide to come back to us :)

Seriously, dont stress. The best way to live life is not to give a damn what other people think.

fireplug

08-12-2002, 02:13 PM

YO URSULA,
tell us da address of dem udder guys board and we'll go talk some smack wid'em and show dem da error of dere ways.:mad:

Seriously, don't get down. Take the advice from those on this thread that mean well and ignore those that don't.

I hope everything works out for you and your family eventually begins to grow:)

Steve

ckr

08-12-2002, 02:21 PM

"You can purchase over the counter kids"

You take ALL the fun out of it!! LOL!!

Seriously though, one tidbit of advice for TTC. Every Other Day -- "like it or not" I told my DH! ;) The "old guys" get their 48 hours shot at success (I recall reading that is their life span once "called into action") and the "new guys" get a chance to "load the cannon" for the "next shot".

Worked for us.

Good Luck.

noel

08-12-2002, 02:38 PM

I'm sorry you had a negative experience on a TTC board. I certainly hope that things work out and you are able to achieve a pregnancy and have a healthy baby. I would seek the aid of a Dr at this point, just to make sure you are on the right track, especially since you have a history of irregular cycles. Make an appointment TODAY...

I certainly am not defending the actions of the posters on the other board/chat room. Most couples/women have their limits that they are willing to put on their quest to have a baby. But because of the emotional, physical and even financial toll that infertility can take on a couple, often times they'll get bitter and have a had time understanding why someone else wouldn't want to go to the lengths that they have to try and have a baby. Also women dealing w/infertility arm themselves w/as much info as they can about their bodies and how our reproductive systems work, so sometimes they forget that not everyone knows as much as they do about our "parts" and tend to think they are Jr Gynocologists.

Not all couples are like that, it's just been a general observation I've made and even how I've felt at times, seeing as that after 3 IVF's DH and I are still w/out a child....and I'm only 30.

So whether you just want to know if everything "works" and it's just a matter of time before you'll achieve a pregnancy, or you're willing to do WHATEVER it takes to have a baby, it's not an easy thing to go through. And just because you're not willing to schedule your whole life around trying to concieve, it doesn't mean you'd be any less of a Mom IMHO.

I will tell you at first both DH and I thought only weirdos took fertility drugs and tried to make "test tube babies". But when we very quickly were given those as our only chances to even have a child, we educated ourselves, and really did some soul searching and decided we really wanted to give it a shot. And yes, treatment does require to pretty much stop your regular life and concentrate on getting pregnant, but not at the stage you're still in. Heck, there's still some fun involved in trying to make a baby right??? ;) ;) ;) :p

I'm sorry those other folks berated you like that. It's not fair to you, when you're just now trying and really learning what this is all about. Good luck to you and pm me if you have any questions.

ChiTownZee

08-12-2002, 02:57 PM

I've never heard of going to an ob/gyn so often unless there's problems. But I do recommend going now BEFORE you conceive if you haven't already. It's generally a good idea to get a check-up and start on prenatals before you conceive.
And remember, those women are TRYING to conceive. Not having sex and waiting for something to happen. And many have been trying for a very long time, that's very hard.
Would you be upset if you didn't conceive the first few months? If not, I'd just go with the flow, having sex around the time (generally, harder to tell if you are irregular) would be ovulating. Or you could start off temping if it made you feel better about pin-pointing ovulation (it's not that hard) Or get an ovulation kit.

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} Hang in there, it's an emotional time, isn't it?

Oh, and I know what you feel about getting pregnant when others can't. It KILLED me to tell my then boss I was pregnant, because he and his wife had been trying for almost 10 years, doing all kids of treatments.

snoopy

08-12-2002, 04:36 PM

If you are 10 days late on your period and craving ranch dressing, why not take a pregnancy test now? Might take away some of the stress of worrying about it.

You can take a pregnancy test as soon as the first day of your missed period.

UrsulasDaBomb

08-14-2002, 07:56 AM

*giant huggles for everybody*
I'm going on vac at the end of Aug through the middle of Sept,so I'll *probably*schedule a gyno appt then,IF I can get insurance to pay for it(which I'm sure I can).I hate going to the dr and having some wierdo who I've never met before poking me 'down there' with that giant thing..whatchacallit?Spectatorlum?Anyway...the thought of being poked and prodded by some wierdo doc scares the heck outta me.:eek: I haven't bought a preg test yet because I am such a huge procrastinator and I just keep putting it off.I'm now...*counts*almost 2 weeks late and still nada.Maybe when I'm off tomorrow I'll go buy one and take it on Fri morning.I"ll let ya'll know...had I known this was going to be so stressful I"d have never decided to attempt it!;) But...it's really not in my hands wheter or not I get pregnant..well..ok it's PARTIALLY in my hands.;) But most of this is up to the Goddess...if I am supposed to get pregnant I will.If not..then I won't.We'll see what She decides.
Blessed BE!

UDB

Jenn

08-14-2002, 08:31 AM

First of all - RELAX. I assume this is the first time you have tried to get pregnant. When my husband and I decided to start trying I came off the pill and we "tried". That's it - we didn't tell family just in case it took forever - and it actually only took a few months and we were pregnant with our first daughter. When we were ready for #2, same thing, came off the pill and "tried". It took a few months longer that time and daughter #2 turned 1 year old yesterday.

I would say that any doctor is going to tell you to try for a certain amount of time before they are going to consider any infertility treatment. Until then - I would avoid those boards. I was lucky and I never charted my temp, or did any of that stuff to get pregnant. I did try those ovulation kits with my second but they didn't work for me - they never said I was ovulating so after I bought 2 or 3 of them I said forget this. We did the every other day strategy mentioned before and it worked like a charm.

UrsulasDaBomb

08-16-2002, 07:15 PM

Well apparently it's not going to happen this month.I got my period yesterday while sitting in the optometrist's waiting room while my eyes were being dilated.:(
Oh well...there is always next month..and the month after that...

Deb in IA

09-04-2003, 10:55 AM

Sorry about the "nasties" on the TTC board, and sorry about your period, UDB . . . :( :( :(

If it's any consolation, I've been there, done that. I have always been irregular ever since I started (my mom and my sis, on the other hand, are so regular, you can practically set your clock to them!).

Two years after our marriage, when nothing was happening in the baby department, we finally went to the infertility clinic. They were just about to send me out with a prescription for Clomid, when they said, more as an afterthought, "Let's just check a pregnancy test before you start the Clomid, just to make sure . . ."

Well, you guessed it. PREGNANT. Promptly got transferred from the Infertility Clinic to the OB Clinic . . .:eek: :eek:

DD was born in 1991. Four years later, DS was born. And I was an "older" mom, 31 when I had DD, 35 with DS.

And NO, you do not have to "turn your life entirely around" when your children are born. You can still have a job, have friends, have hobbies, have a life . . . trust me.

Best wishes, UDB . . .

goofygirl

09-04-2003, 12:40 PM

Just curious as to why this thread from a year ago is back on TODAY's CB??

CEDmom

09-04-2003, 12:40 PM

I really sorry you were treated so badly on a TTC board. Having been there done that (IUI, IVF & donor egg) I know how high emotions can run over something that appears to be so easy. However, the reality is that the success rate for a couple trying to conceive w/o any problems is only about 10% in any given month. Reproductive problems are so vast and most times have nothing do to with how healthy you are or your age. DH and I were consumed by all this for several years and then decided we wanted to be parents more than we wanted to have a baby so we adopted DD.

Most Dr. will advise seeking medical treatment if conception does not occur w/i 6 mo of trying. Be prepared that if you do seek out medical assistance it is time consuming and your DH will need to be checked out as well.

CRB#33

09-04-2003, 01:05 PM

I too wondered why this thread was bumped from such a long time ago. It certainly is confusing and a contradiction, but it... *edited because it might not have been too nice*

I just thought this quote from another thread might be very appropriate here.

Best wishes, (name) . . . (and ignore all the negative stuff. Some people have such low self-esteem that they can only feel good about themselves when the tear down and hurt someone else)

lil mermaid

09-04-2003, 03:49 PM

Does this have something to do with the thread that disappeared yesterday?????

Toby'sFriend

09-04-2003, 04:44 PM

Does this have something to do with the thread that disappeared yesterday?????

I imagine that's a pretty good bet. :rolleyes:

UrsulasDaBomb

09-04-2003, 05:30 PM

I know why it was brought up. A year ago, DH and I were trying to get pregnant and couldn't. So I gave up hope of EVER getting pregnant and figured, 'If it happens it happens, if not oh well. Nothing to cry about."

But now I might be pregnant and I am scared poopless.

Gayle(UDB)

lil mermaid

09-04-2003, 05:36 PM

Gayle,

You HAVE to take the test!!

maleficent1959

09-05-2003, 12:57 PM

Originally posted by lil mermaid
Gayle,

You HAVE to take the test!!

Ditto to that. You need to know for sure one way or the other. I don't know why your other thread disappeared, but don't let people beat you up over your fears and doubts. Heck, I wanted my DS at 33, and I still had plenty of doubts. It's perfectly normal.

UrsulasDaBomb

09-05-2003, 01:07 PM

Dh is going to the grocery on Sat to buy food while I'm at work. He's promised to buy the test then and I'll take it on Sun morning, with a follow up call to a doctor on our list (since I have no Primary Care Physician) on Mon if needed.

If it turns out neg, oh well...I'm sure my period will show up eventually. It's not like Mother Nature hasn't played this trick on me before.

Gayle(UDB)

UrsulasDaBomb

09-07-2003, 10:45 PM

Well, I took the pee test tonight. It was positive. I guess I"m happy, it hasn't really all sunk in yet. I'll let you know how I feel tomorrow. My mom and stepsister (who are the only people we've told so far in case the test was wrong)are excited. We're going to call the Dr tomorrow and make an appointment for sometime this week to take a blood test to be positive and to ask some questions because I don't know how to be a good pregnant woman. I know there are som changes I'm going to have to make in my diet, caffeine consumption, etc....oh boy.

I don't know whether or laugh or cry or do both at the same time.

Gayle(UDB)

Planogirl

09-07-2003, 11:04 PM

You likely feel kind of weird right now because it's so scary. At least it was like that for me. Just give it some time to sink in and then get busy. :)

CRB#33

09-08-2003, 06:52 AM

UDB, being a mother is the most wonderful thing that has every happened to many of us here.

Congratulations, take care of yourself, read baby books (it helps :) ), and relax. It's okay to be scared....it makes you want to work harder to do the right things (which are sometimes hard to figure out).

Congratulations again :)

Keli

09-08-2003, 08:02 AM

Congratulations Gayle. I can see why you aren't sure how to react. Motherhood is a pretty big irreversable step for most people but speaking from experience, it is one of the most rewarding things you will ever do.

UrsulasDaBomb

09-08-2003, 08:25 AM

This really explains why I've been so weepy lately. EVERYTHING has been making me cry. I sat down to watch one of my favorite movies, Steel Magnolias, on cable the other night and used an ENTIRE box of Kleenex!:eek: It also explains why I've been totally exhausted all the time for the last couple of months or so. I thought it was just work. This also explains away the ever-present morning nausea I've had for the last couple of weeks or so. I couldn't figure it out, couldn't figure ou t why EVERYTHING I had been eating for breakfast was making me feel so icky, even if I didn't hork,I'd feel pretty lousy.

I just hope I do ok as a Mom. I didn't have the world's greatest example growing up and I"m really scared I"ll screw up badly. I don't know ANYTHING about being a mother to anyone except my two cats, and they're pretty easy to be a mommy to. What little I DO know about babies, I've learned from watching "A Pregnancy Story" on TLC and what I remember from "Parent and Child Development" which I took as a joke back in High School.

DH seems..well..he's happy but he's not sure how to react either. The main thing is he wants the baby to be happy and he doesn't want MY pregnancy to overshadow that of my little sister, who is about 5 mos pregnant right now. He's afraid (as am I) that my mother will go bananas over me and not so much over my sister. He doesn't want Lizzie's feelings to be hurt when stuff like that happens, as I'm sure it will, esp with my Grandmother Anderson. Let me explain. Grandma Anderson went totally unhinged when she found out DH and I were engaged, spending thousands of dollars to help furnish our first apt, groceries, that sort of thing. We didn't even ask her to, even though we were extremely grateful. I guess she did it because I"m the only grandchild out of the bunch who hasn't gotten their lives totally ruined by one thing or another. Somehow, I did it right, even though I"m not even sure how that came to be.

I guess as soon as we find out for sure with the blood test (which DH is going to call the dr and schedule for sometime this week), we can start shopping for baby clothes, baby furniture and maternity clothes. I also get to tell my boss, which I"m sure he'll be thrilled.:rolleyes:

We've also got names picked out already,which is something DH and I actually discussed a long time ago. If it's a boy...his name is going to be James Anthony (Anthony is his dad's middle name). If it's a girl, it's going to be Rebecca Ann (which is my aunt's middle name, my sister's middle name AND DMIL's middle name). I've also already decided if it's a girl, I'm going to order that cute Princesses border in pink from the Disney Store catalog and paint the room pink. If it's a boy...I found a cute cute CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE Peter Pan border at Home Depot and I want to paint the room kind of a dark foresty green.

I can't wait to register for baby stuff at Target. This is going to be so much fun, even if it IS so much work in the end.

Gayle(UDB)

zulaya

09-08-2003, 08:28 AM

Gayle---

Congrats! I highly recommend you buy a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting . It's a straighforward book that tells you month to month how your baby grows, how your body changes, how your emotions may be at a given time. I found it very informative.

dcgrumpy

09-08-2003, 08:43 AM

It also explains why I've been totally exhausted all the time for the last couple of months or so

How pregnant are you? :confused:

Toby'sFriend

09-08-2003, 08:46 AM

If you're that far along they probably won't need to schedule a blood test to confirm your pregnancy. They will be able to confirm by the size of your uterus and by the appearance of "things inside" during your exam. They will want to do a full scale blood work-up though to check anemia and other things. I hope you've been taking folic acid and a good multi-vitamin, if not I would suggest you start taking a daily vitamin even before you get to the dr. It can take a couple of weeks to get an appt. with some OB's.

You are also probably very close to the time where you will need to decide on whether or not you want the AFP/and or Triple Screen testing done so I would recommend you start reading up on those in order to make an informed decision.

ahutton

09-08-2003, 09:11 AM

I'm so happy for you! And there are plenty of us here to offer advice and suggestions for you when you want them - Just ask! In our "Community" we've dealt with about every baby issue there is... and then some!

Piglet

09-08-2003, 09:20 AM

Congrats Gayle -- I think you will do great as a Mom. Anyone that loves their pets can easily love and take care of their child. DH and I's first baby is a cocker spaniel - my DD even calls him her brother and he is always looking for his "Sissy".

It is a shock at first and very overwhelming, but soon enough (and it sounds like you are already getting there) you will be so excited and very busy preparing for the baby. It will definetely change everything about you, but in a good way. Just communicate with your DH about your fears and plans and involve him in your decisions. You will need to support each other so much. Remember he will be experincing some changes and emotions too, so understand that he has fears too.

Not sure if you are intersted in Attachment Parenting but a great website to check out is www.mothering.com. They have wonderful discussion boards and are very supportive. There are people there that practice many different degrees of AP. I am not into a lot of it, but it is very helpful to get info and make some decisions how you want to do things.

Good Luck to you and DH and enjoy your time together experiencing this miracle.

Melinda

maleficent1959

09-08-2003, 09:36 AM

Congratulations Gayle!

I say don't tell your boss yet. Some bosses are really supportive, like mine was, and then some are like my sister's boss, who started passing her over for projects and development because of her pregnancy. She thought my sister would be less driven in her career and often made snide comments about the "mommy track" and how she expected her to let the company down. Your boss doesn't need to know until you start to show.

BTW, Target has started carrying some really cute maternity clothes as part of the Liz Lange line. The days of tent-like polka dot caftans with giant bows are over:)

damo

09-08-2003, 09:48 AM

Congratulations!!! I started reading the thread at the beginning and realized that the date was from August. I quickly jumped to the end of the thread to hear the good news.

Here's to an easy and healthy pregnancy and baby!

UrsulasDaBomb

09-08-2003, 09:48 AM

Well, grumpy, my best guess is that since I've missed two periods, I'm somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks along. DH will call me later on his lunch or wh atever to tell me when the dr's visit will be. He has to go to Target on the way home to pick up kitty litter and a new scoopie, so I"ll ask him to pick up a multivitamen and folic acid for me too, while he's there.

Toby--what is the Triple test and AFP???:confused:

zulaya--I was planning on heading to Barnes and Noble later this week for a copy of the "Girlfriend's Guide to Expecting".:)

I know when the dr confirms it, I am definatlely getting a dr's note detailing what I CAN and CANNOT do at work from now on, including something about me HAVING to eat when I am hungry. My boss (and my shift mgrs) have this really bad habit of scheduling people for 8-10 hr shifts and most people don't get to eat during that time, not even a 15 minute break. There have been a couple of times in the last month and a half or so where I thought I was gonna pass out because I was so tired, hot, sweaty,hungry and dehydrated because of how things are 'usually' done at work. I know my boss won't want to order an XXL shirt to cover my bulging belly, cuz he's so damned cheap, but he won't get a choice. Those ugly blue Smurf shirts are part of the required uniform.:(

Gayle(UDB)

Paperina

09-08-2003, 09:51 AM

Congrats! Make sure your DH cleans the cat's litter box - pregnant women are not suppose to handle used litter.

skuttle

09-08-2003, 09:59 AM

Congratulations!

My pregnancy was also a surprise. DH and I wanted children, just not quite yet. I was about 7 weeks pregnant when I found out...thought I was late, tired, etc due to stress from my final exams...boy was I wrong! ;) It took me about a week to finally get a test and take it...and when it came out positive, I also laughed and cried...I was happy, in shock....every emotion out there I was feeling!

I was lucky and never had morning sickness, but I was VERY tired during the entire first trimester. Second trimester is the best...when you have the most energy and feel like a normal person...also when you start feeling the little baby move, which is just amazing.

Your doctor should give you some info regarding all of the tests they can do. I forget exactly which test tests for what...I know it includes Downs, spina bifida and some other things. We didn't get any of the "extra" tests done since we were young, low risk, and wouldn't change a thing even if our baby would have been diagnosed with one of those things. It's up to you and your DH.

I hang out on babycenter.com a lot...I've found some pretty good info there. They also have TONS of message boards, including ones for people due the same month as you...those are the best, IMO. :) You can also sign up to receive emails each week which give you info about what you and your baby are doing that week. I always looked forward to those...and still do for DS!

I wouldn't change a thing. DS is the best thing to ever happen to me aside from marrying my DH. :)

If you ever want to chat, I'm just a PM away. :)

allison

UrsulasDaBomb

09-08-2003, 10:02 AM

I've already explained that to him and he promises to do the boxes for me. :) He's such a sweetie.

Gayle(UDB)

browneyes

09-08-2003, 10:51 AM

Congrats.:)

shortbun

09-08-2003, 11:35 AM

Congrats! BTW-no more kitty litter for you. I can't remember what you can get from it but it's very bad for the fetus.
Take care and keep us up to date!
I agree-don't tell the boss or anyone at work until
you are showing. It's weird the way decent folks get
all goofed up over pregnancy in the work force.
Glad you don't have to go to any more fertility message boards!
:smooth: mimi

Toby'sFriend

09-08-2003, 12:05 PM

if you've missed 2 periods you are most likely more around 10 weeks if not more. Pregnancies are usually dated from the first day of your last known menstrual period. If you are that unsure of your dates, the OB might want to schedule an ultrasound to try and date the pregnancy.

An AFP test is a blood test which measure amounts of Alpha Fetal Protein in your blood. These can be used as a predictor of genetic anomolies such as Down's Syndrome. While the blood tests are fairly non-invasive and not dangerous to the fetus, there are issues of high false positive and false negative results which can be worrisome. You really need to research the issues of all the tests that are available and decide for yourself which ones you want done. The Triple Screen is very similar to the AFP, but it also factors in your age and another hormone test. Most good pregnancy books as well as most of the "mommy sites" out there can give you good info on these tests.

UrsulasDaBomb

09-08-2003, 01:00 PM

Okie...now I have to write that down so I can ask the doc. He's gonna try and schedule the blood test for Weds, my next day off and he'll take a personal day to do all this for me. :) THis is so exciting!

I know it'll get worse before it gets better tho. DH said, "The baby won't come out as easy as it went in." :teeth:

Gayle(UDB)

Minnesota!

09-08-2003, 01:13 PM

Congrats!! I have to agree, if you have missed 2 periods, you are closer to 10 weeks.

Toxoplamosis is what you can get from the litter, FYI. Stay away ;) Eat you veggies, take your vitamins, drink enough water. I wish you all the best in the coming months.

dcgrumpy

09-08-2003, 01:20 PM

Silly question, does your husband always make your gynecology appointments?:confused:

UrsulasDaBomb

09-08-2003, 01:52 PM

The way our insurance is set up, we have to see our 'general care practioner' (SP??) first and then he/she can recommend a specialist (a gyno in this case).

Besides...I know I probably sound like I"m begging for trouble, but I don't go to the gyno. Ever. I've only been ONCE in my whole life and that was shortly before we got married so I could get the Pill. Haven't been since.

Gayle(UDB)

Toby'sFriend

09-08-2003, 02:03 PM

I'm pretty sure that's not true Ursula. State Law in Texas (at least as of 2 years ago) requires Insurance companies to allow women direct access to GYN/OB care without referrals.

You might want to call your regular doctor's office and just ask for a list of recommended OBs. You'll need to start calling to see who has openings for new patients.

GladysK

09-08-2003, 04:27 PM

Originally posted by UrsulasDaBomb
I don't go to the gyno. Ever. I've only been ONCE in my whole life and that was shortly before we got married so I could get the Pill. Haven't been since.

Gayle(UDB)

You can't renew the Pill without a yearly scrip.
And you don't get a yearly pap smear-not smart???!!!:eek:

disneyjunkie

09-08-2003, 05:07 PM

Originally posted by UrsulasDaBomb
The way our insurance is set up, we have to see our 'general care practioner' (SP??) first and then he/she can recommend a specialist (a gyno in this case).

Besides...I know I probably sound like I"m begging for trouble, but I don't go to the gyno. Ever. I've only been ONCE in my whole life and that was shortly before we got married so I could get the Pill. Haven't been since.

Gayle(UDB)

How did you get refills?

CRB#33

09-08-2003, 06:02 PM

Originally posted by dcgrumpy
Silly question, does your husband always make your gynecology appointments?:confused:

Why in heavens name do you care?

UrsulasDaBomb

09-08-2003, 06:23 PM

I didn't NEED refills on anything. I haven't been on the Pill in forever. Took it for three months after we first got married, decided it made me too mental and I quit taking it. *shrugs*

Gayle(UDB)

SuiteDisney

09-08-2003, 06:32 PM

Originally posted by UrsulasDaBomb
Well apparently it's not going to happen this month.I got my period yesterday while sitting in the optometrist's waiting room while my eyes were being dilated.:(
Oh well...there is always next month..and the month after that...

You posted this on page 2 of this thread on 8/16. Now you're saying that you missed 2 periods?:confused: :confused: :confused:

disneyjunkie

09-08-2003, 06:39 PM

Originally posted by CRB#33
Why in heavens name do you care?

Why would someone post so much private information if they didn't want people to know and/or ask about it?

dcgrumpy

09-08-2003, 06:43 PM

Originally posted by CRB#33
Why in heavens name do you care?

Why in heavens name do you care why I care? :)

Actually I don't care, just seems a bit odd to me.

CRB#33

09-08-2003, 06:44 PM

Originally posted by UrsulasDaBomb
I didn't NEED refills on anything. I haven't been on the Pill in forever. Took it for three months after we first got married, decided it made me too mental and I quit taking it. *shrugs*
Gayle(UDB)

It was pretty clear to me from your posts that you had stopped taking the pill long ago and were in no need of a refill.

Other than a yearly check-up (which many woman get with a family doctor), anytime you go to a ob-gyn, you need a referral for some plans.

This thread is starting to look like some others around here.....the let's combat every point a person makes. Geesh people. :rolleyes:

*edited to add*

and that's why I care.

Piglet

09-08-2003, 06:45 PM

*********** - the year on that post was 2002. Someone bumped this thread from a year ago.

Melinda

SuiteDisney

09-08-2003, 06:48 PM

Originally posted by Piglet
*********** - the year on that post was 2002. Someone bumped this thread from a year ago.

Melinda

Whew, that makes a little more sense. :)

Eeyore2U

09-08-2003, 06:50 PM

Originally posted by CRB#33
It was pretty clear to me from your posts that you had stopped taking the pill long ago and were in no need of a refill.

Other than a yearly check-up (which many woman get with a family doctor), anytime you go to a ob-gyn, you need a referral for some plans.

This thread is starting to look like some others around here.....the let's combat every point a person makes. Geesh people. :rolleyes:

CRB, I'd check your policy. Most insurance plans will let you see the gyn twice for any type of routine without a referral. Some Managed Care plans never you require you get a refferal to see a gyn. Some plans only make you get a referral to see a gyn if it is for a medical problem.

CRB#33

09-08-2003, 06:52 PM

Originally posted by Eeyore2U
CRB, I'd check your policy. Most insurance plans will let you see the gyn twice for any type of routine without a referral. Some Managed Care plans never you require you get a refferal to see a gyn. Some plans only make you get a referral to see a gyn if it is for a medical problem.

Those are the lucky ones. I don't really want to hijack a thread, but suffice to say, I have a very unknown lousy plan. Fortunately my children are on their father's plan and that's all I'm worried about.

peachgirl

09-08-2003, 06:58 PM

My boss (and my shift mgrs) have this really bad habit of scheduling people for 8-10 hr shifts and most people don't get to eat during that time, not even a 15 minute break.

Forget the pregnancy questions....Who in heaven's name do you work for?????

Forcing people to work 10 hour shifts without breaks AND a lunch hour is inhumane, not to mention that it's probably a serious violation of labor laws.

goofygirl

09-08-2003, 08:31 PM

Frankly, UDB, I don't believe a word you are saying and I think this whole "pregnant/not pregnant thing" is a hoax.

A year or so ago you were posting pro pet/anti-kid stuff nonstop- you were strongly childfree, (maybe even more so than me!) and caused quite a ruckus on the DB. You did it under some other name til you were found out.

Then, out of the blue you posted something that said something like "I don't think having a child is so bad, I'm gonna go try to have one!"

Yeah, right!

NOBODY changes their mind THAT fast, come on! Then, you convieniently dissappear from here after all that fuss, and you are back with a pregnancy/conception thread, thats ALSO getting much attention. What a coincidence!

If you want to create posts that will get lots of responses, okay then. But don't think you're fooling EVERYONE here!

UrsulasDaBomb

09-09-2003, 08:48 AM

Peachgirl--I work for Sonic and the one I work for is inside a mall, a rarity. I'm sure it does violate some labor laws, but I don't want to bring the labor commission in, get my boss in trouble and myself fired. It's a looooooooong story. Jobs are hard to find around here it seems and I can't lose my job now.

Goofygirl--since when is a person NOT allowed to change their minds? I've taken two pee tests and BOTH came out positive. I don't think the tests lie. I can't say anything more...since this is a family board.

Gayle(UDB)

aahmom1

09-09-2003, 09:10 AM

Originally posted by goofygirl
Frankly, UDB, I don't believe a word you are saying and I think this whole "pregnant/not pregnant thing" is a hoax.

A year or so ago you were posting pro pet/anti-kid stuff nonstop- you were strongly childfree, (maybe even more so than me!) and caused quite a ruckus on the DB. You did it under some other name til you were found out.

Then, out of the blue you posted something that said something like "I don't think having a child is so bad, I'm gonna go try to have one!"

Yeah, right!

NOBODY changes their mind THAT fast, come on! Then, you convieniently dissappear from here after all that fuss, and you are back with a pregnancy/conception thread, thats ALSO getting much attention. What a coincidence!

If you want to create posts that will get lots of responses, okay then. But don't think you're fooling EVERYONE here!

Somebody mark this day on the calendar, GG and I are in complete agreement, and I couldn't have said it better myself.

snoopy

09-09-2003, 10:35 AM

A year or so ago you were posting pro pet/anti-kid stuff nonstop- you were strongly childfree, (maybe even more so than me!) and caused quite a ruckus on the DB. You did it under some other name til you were found out.

And herein lies the confusion for most of us. First UDB was the goth against "carpet creeps" and "soccer mommies", then she was a "submissive wife", now she is picking out baby names and making lullaby tapes. Ordinarily people don't go from one extreme to the other and back again all in the course of one year or so. I got involved in many of those threads on the DB, sincerely offering my advice, only to have her contradict herself time and time again.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, UDB, and wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy. Babies are such a blessing, I do hope that the one growing inside you brings you much joy and happiness. :)

goofygirl

09-09-2003, 10:50 AM

I've taken two pee tests and BOTH came out positive. I don't think the tests lie. I can't say anything more...since this is a family board.

Tests don't lie, PEOPLE lie.

Sorry, I am still not buying any of this.

Anybody can come on any board on the net and claim to be anything. Who would know the difference?

Heck, I can come on the DIS with a different name and claim to be pregnant with quadruplets if I wanted! Who would know? It surewould generate a lot of posts though! LOL

Jillpie

09-09-2003, 11:25 AM

I'm seeing a very strange pattern here. I picked up on the post by "Seaotter" about rescuing her "daughter's friend from the trailor situation" a couple of weeks ago. This poster sounds strangely familiar to these posts. Nobody agreed with me that it was a hoax of a story, but I stand by it. These posts sound very much the same...long, drawn out detailed stories that attract lots of attention. Could this be the same person?? Supposedly Sea Otter posts alot (or so alot of people said) on the DB too. She mysteriously left that thread too...somebody brought it up the other day, she responded once and then left it to go to pg. 4 or something.
Is anybody else seeing this pattern?? I will stand by my conviction that that entire thread was a huge made up story, I still don't appreciate how she duped everyone.

CRB#33

09-09-2003, 01:23 PM

Originally posted by Jillpie
I'm seeing a very strange pattern here. I picked up on the post by "Seaotter" .......
.......Is anybody else seeing this pattern?? I will stand by my conviction that that entire thread was a huge made up story, I still don't appreciate how she duped everyone.

Until anyone knows anything for a fact, no one was "duped."

Boy it's just so easy to call people liars without knowing anything for certain.

I'm seeing a lot of "trends" around here too. The same group of people seem to be part of those trends too.

Jillpie

09-09-2003, 01:42 PM

No, we're just looking at the inconsistent details. They just don't add up.

SilverLily

09-09-2003, 01:43 PM

Originally posted by Jillpie
I will stand by my conviction that that entire thread was a huge made up story, I still don't appreciate how she duped everyone. Why did you apologize to her and wish good luck to her in handling the situation, then? I guess you were trying to dupe the CB into thinking you were a caring person? :confused:

Jillpie

09-09-2003, 01:51 PM

If you read my apology carefully, it was not an apology for thinking I was wrong in thinking she was hoaxing us. It was to apologize for letting it go as long as the interaction went that night, that is all. I will stand by how I believe she fooled us all in that thread. Have you noticed there haven't been any "updates" that we can't compare details to lately?

SilverLily

09-09-2003, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by Jillpie
If you read my apology carefully, it was not an apology for thinking I was wrong in thinking she was hoaxing us. It was to apologize for letting it go as long as the interaction went that night, that is all. I will stand by how I believe she fooled us all in that thread. Have you noticed there haven't been any "updates" that we can't compare details to lately? First, you DID wish her luck, or something to that effect. So you either believed her and wanted to wish her luck, OR you didn't believe her, but apologized and wished her luck so that you wouldn't look like a rotten person.

And you can blame yourself for not getting updates. She posted several times about how bad she felt about being called a liar, and that it made her not want to post updates.

Jillpie

09-09-2003, 02:04 PM

I suggest you look very carefully to her posts. Look at the details that don't match. Its very simple. Its won't take long till everyone sees it. A few of us just saw it much earlier.

The last time she posted an update on the "trailer situation with those poor kids", I stayed out of that one. I wanted to see if other people picked up on the inconsistencies. Well, sure enough, people asked her lots of curious questions to her post. Mysteriously, that was the last time we heard from her. Curious, ha?

ripleysmom

09-09-2003, 02:24 PM

Jillpie, I can't believe you are still ranting on and on about that thread. The reason seaotter stopped posting about the kids is because you were haranguing her about it for crumb's sake!! Even going so far as to start another thread to harass her. The worst part is that people who really cared about the situation and were concerned now have to find out privately from seaotter what is happening because you decided that she was lying.

Really take some Midol and chill already!! Find a new obsession....this one is boring.

Now as far as seaotter and UDB go, if you were truly as insightful as you seem to think that you are you would only have to read a few posts by each to know that they are completely different posters. Their spelling, grammar and punctuation are not the same at all. Trust me....UDB cannot fake another persona. Each time she has been back, people have been able to tell who she is.