Inconsiderate people!

[daughtersrus]

We just returned from our trip. Three situtations upset us.


The first is something that my oldest daughter (15) overheard in the bathroom at Ft Wilderness. Two ladies were talking. One had just checked in. The other lady said that the best advice that she could offer was to spend the money and rent a wheelchair eventhough they didn't need one so that they wouldn't have to wait in certain lines. She said that she had done that and they had taken turns "riding" in it. My daughter wanted to say something to them but felt intimidated since "she's just a kid". She came back almost crying because she knows the struggles that her little sister has.

The second one was trying to get on the monorail after MK. It was like herding cows to the slaughter. We ran into a few people that literally climbed over my daughter in her wheelchair so that they could get further up the line. She is very tiny (32lbs) so her chair sits low to the ground. With all of the people surrounding her, she was having a hard time getting some fresh air. We worked our way to the outside of the mass just so that she could breathe.

One last complaint is with the WDW bus service. We stayed at FW and found that not all of the buses are handicapped acessible. We were not able to get on the first bus to AK since it didn't have a lift. It did have tie downs but the driver wouldn't let us carry her on and then tie down the chair. We waited about an hour for the next bus to come. By then, a huge group had formed and they basically pushed onto the bus. We were the first ones waiting for the bus but still had to stand. We overheard a few people complain that there would be more seats if they didn't have to "waste" them on wheelchairs. (there was also another young girl in a chair). Some people just don't get it, do they!
:confused:

Diane

[SueM in MN]

We've had some of the same experiences thru the years, so I can fully understand.
For the first situation, at least there are not that many rides where someone can "cheat" in a wheelchair, so they will find themselves waiting in lines a lot more than not. I always have a secret hope that the people who are truly "cheaters" will find out some time just what it's like to really need a wheelchair.
For the bus, we've had almost the same comment directed toward our DD and her wheelchair. Almost all the buses have working lifts, but there are a few with no lift or (like the first one that came for you), a lift that didn't work. It would have been nice if the first driver had radio'd in so that the next driver had known that your family was there first. They usually load wheelchairs first at each stop, but it doesn't sound like they did that for you.
Anyway,{{{{hugs}}}} to you and your family.

[Talking Hands]

No Diane some people don't think. I have had the same thing happen to me on occasion. Nasty comments by other guests.
As to the hour wait for the bus. That is inexcusable. First you should have been loaded first when the bus got there. Second the driver on the bus without a lift should have radioed for a bus to be sent to pick you up. Sorry you had to go through that.

[JudithM]

Diane, sorry these three situations occurred. Some people are very insensitive to others. There is no excuse for rudeness.

Sue is right that just because one is in a wheelchair, does not mean you get to the head of the line - many people are under the impression they do.

I find when I drive the ECV that about the only guests who really see me are the young - being short they are more at my height. I can only imagine how your daughter felt because from what you said she is even lower.

I hope the rest of your vacation was magical!

[Nanajo1]

Some folks just don't get it. I can imagine if they ever really need to use a w/c they would be the first to complain if they sense someone else was "cheating." I have to work very hard not to wish bad things on those folks. Hope you were able to put these incidents aside and have a good trip.

[mhopset]

I had the same thing happen to me. Usually I don't say anything, but you know when you get to that point, and you think "Thats it". Well I pulled right up to the jerk and told him. "Anytime you want to trade buddy you just let me know. I will be hapy to walk the parks all day, and be tired when I get back to the room. You on the other hand can sit in this stupid scooter for the rest of your life."

Poor guy was dumbstruct, had no idea what to say.
Some people are just plain stupid. Don't worry about it, but for God's sake don't take it.

[s&k'smom]

I'm so sorry daughterrus you had those things happen. When I hear stories like that all I can think of is "if only you walked in my shoes". My DS (who just turned six) is mildly autistic and we plan to use the GAC card. I only hope that we don't run into anything like that but I'll try to remember to keep my cool and hold onto my DH who may not use, how can I put it, appropriate language.

[Figment1964]

Originally posted by s&k'smom
I'm so sorry daughterrus you had those things happen. When I hear stories like that all I can think of is "if only you walked in my shoes". My DS (who just turned six) is mildly autistic and we plan to use the GAC card. I only hope that we don't run into anything like that but I'll try to remember to keep my cool and hold onto my DH who may not use, how can I put it, appropriate language.

We're planning on using the GAC with our 9 yo son who has Asperger Syndrome and I am somewhat concerned about any comments that might come our way because he doesn't "look" disabled. I'm a very mild mannered person until it comes to someone messing with my kids! I'm planning on my comeback already, something similar to what mhopset said about trading places with them. Although I'll suggest that it be their child with autism and mine able-bodied and my being willing to stand in any length of line, etc.

[SueM in MN]

mhopset, you are responsible for me getting food on my desk because I was laughing so hard at the thought of that guy's face (and I was eating lunch at the time).:p

Anyway, some people are so clueless that we have heard people say that they think our DD is "cheating". She can't even stand up, has a custom manual wheelchair that was about $6,000, a custom power one that cost about $10,000 and a augmentative communication device that cost around $7,000. I'd like the ones who thought we were "cheating" to pay our co-pay for some of our equipment sometime.
By the way, the last person who we heard saying he thought she was cheating, said it because he saw her sitting on a bench, wiht her legs crossed, swinging one of her legs. Since she was sitting there and her wheelchair was next to her, he concluded that she was "cheating" . Never mind that she can't get onto the bench by herself, or even cross her legs by herself. But she does look pretty normal sitting there on the bench.

Soooo, don't worry about what other people may think. They just think, you know.

[crazyforgoofy]

How could anyone be that stupid? And the whole cheating thing amazes me. I'm perfectly ablebodied and had never even considered the idea that people would cheat by using wheelchairs until a trip we took to WDW 5 years ago with my sister and her family. We pushed 'Boo' in a wheelchair borrowed from their resort. He'd just finished 12 months of chemo for rhabdomyosarcoma and had NO energy at all. He was scrawny and bald, pale with huge dark circles under his little 5 1/2 year old eyes. He refused a stroller (he said he was too big). People made comments once or twice about HIM needing a wheelchair, they must have been blind AND stupid. But we did in fact keep running into a family with a w/c and each time there was someone else riding and racing. Even then I didn't judge, who knows their story? Sheesh!

[Disney Doll]

Well, I don't understand how someone who doesn't NEED a wheelchair would ever be able to rent one in good conscience. I guess some people are just lousy and no good. I also don't understand how ANYONE can be so rude as to make comments about people who need wheelchairs. How utterly rotten, nasty, and insensitive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1:mad:

[SueM in MN]

Maybe I should alter my phrase to : They just think that they think, but you know.

[s&k'smom]

Disneydoll good point. I can't even imagine going up the wheelchair line and renting one just to "cheat". If I did that my mother would smack me right upside the head.

Hey Sue only 17,000 worth of equipment! Sure you need the GAC?;)

[SueM in MN]

Hey Sue only 17,000 worth of equipment! Sure you need the GAC?
Well, I estimated low. Do you think I need to add the $17,000 worth of accessibility equipment on our van?;) ;)

[Poohnatic]

I'm very fortunate, while I've got numerous medical conditions, none are affecting my mobility . I did have a severe complication after having my son Neil and spent a month in a wheelchair. While I always felt I was understanding of the situation, I gained even more compassion for those who use wheelchairs long term....invisible is an understatement! :mad: Wheelchair ramps clogged with people using them as a gathering place...it has made me make the extra effort, hoping that I will make up for someone else's lack of consideration.

Neil has Asperger'. Thanks to this group, I learned of the GAC and we used it on our trip in June. I never had a bad CM experience, even had some go out of their way to accomodate. I really didn't care what other guests thought, but I was prepared for someone to make a comment. Fortunately, that hasn't happened yet! As Mr T would say "I pity the fool..."

Suzanne

[s&k'smom]

Sue, very funny;) Good thing we can laugh!

[DisneyAnna]

With regard to the responsess made when rude insensitice people fell it is their *RIGHT* to voice their opinion regarding a disability.....
There was a time a few years back that I thought I would take my mother (cancer patient) and 2 kids (autistic son/gifted daughter) to a local craft show to get out and enjoy the beautiful Fall weather.
All was fine, until my son spotted the play area, and decided that he had had enough of the arts and crafts and he wanted to play--
Now, I'm trying to help my mother walk slowly up the aisles, and keep an eye on the kids...(I admit, it was not one of my finer ideas!)
Anyhow, my DS had a meltdown right in the middle of the aisle, and while I ws trying to help him work through it, I overheard an older *lady* tell her companion "That kids needs a good SLAP!!"
Okay--deep breath--my mother tries to tell me to ignore it, but alas, I cannot!
I turned to the old bitty, and told her that "That child is Autistic, and if she knows better how to handle the situation, I'll listen ALL DAY, but until she knows what it's like in my shoes, she should keep her mouth shut and keep on stepping!"
Gotta tell ya, that felt SSOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!
Sorry this is so lengthy, but I just want you all to know that your kids are aware of more than we know--and if you don't stand up for them, who will?

.........again, i preach...............sorry!

[s&k'smom]

Good one Disneyanna!

[SueM in MN]

I agree.

[mhopset]

DisneyAnna, you are my kinda woman!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

[DaveH]

Guys being healthy I can not imagine the problems you guys have. If asked I try to always help because I have no idea how to help. As for the bus driver calling about another bus, as I understand it none of WDW busses have radios. Years ago they did but not now.

[SueM in MN]

I'm not positive about right now, but I am quite sure that the bus drivers are reach-able. A year ago, we were waiting for the bus at DD and the first bus to come had a malfunctioning lift. The dispatcher called to see how long the next bus would be. We could hear him talk to the driver, explaining our problem. When the bus arrived, it had no lift. So, the dispatcher called for another bus and we could hear him say, "Now you do have a working lift, don't you?"
I think they have something a little more sophisticated than the old "squacking" radios they used to have.

[DisneyAnna]

I humbly thank you for your praise.

Bottom line though is, that if your child has a sincere curiousity about a disability, LET THEM ASK.
And please don't be so quick to judge based upon appearances--sometimes the diability isn't obvious.
Someone whom I greatly respect, Barry Neil Kaufman, said something to the effect that 'If we weren't so quick to judge one another, we wouldn't have to ask for forgiveness later'. Kinda deep and profound, but it makes sense, dontcha think??
And mhopset, you made my day!!THANKS!!!

[adisneyfan2]

I gotta add my two cents (again!) I have a DS with Asperger's (or is it high-functioning autism??) :rolleyes: We have taken advantage of the GAC on our last two trips, and put up with plenty of rude stares & not-so-subtle remarks, (see posts under "rude stares" thread) but I have to say with just one single exception, the cast members were absolutely wonderful, even though the "problem" was no more visible to them than the ignoramus in line. I am also grateful that my DS is so happy to be at WDW that he is oblivious & doesn't let any moronic losers ruin his day!
:earsboy:

Everybody is equally entitled to enjoy Disney, whether from the vantage of a WC or through the unique eyes of an autistic child. If it takes a GAC to allow your loved one to enjoy Disney, then so be it. I am thrilled that Disney makes them available, because they allow my very special child to enjoy WDW as much as all the other kids do! :cool:

[DisneyAnna]

adisneyfan2:

WELL SAID, and BRAVO!!!!

I agree, EVERYONE should be allowed to enjoy the Disney experience, regardless of their vantage point. Perhaps I am biased, but since WDW is known to be the Happiest Place on Earth (ok, maybe its Disneyland) I think that people will disabilities are even MORE entitled, as it is such a magical place where you 'check your troubles at the door', and everything is happy and wonderful and amazing.......

I know when we go with our DS, life seems happier, and better and magical!
And all of our 'issues' seem to fade into the background....basically life is good!!

Btw, whereabout in Illinois are you? I'm waaaaaaayyy North of Chicago--could actually walk to the Wisconsin State line!! (that is, if it waasn't so hot, and I wasn't so lazy!?!?!?!)

[daughtersrus]

DisneyAnna,
I'm in IL also. Western suburbs off I-55.

[doombuggy]

I would not be so quiet if I was in any of your shoes either. I am taking my grandmother, who has Parkinson's to WDW next spring, and God help anyone who makes a comment in my hearing. Her Parkinson's isn't as bad as Ali's, or even Michael J. Fox, and it's not very noticable at this point. She has not had a vaca since the last time she went to WDW back in 1973, so I want her to have a really good time. Everyone on this board has given me lots of advice ont his - I'm sure I will be asking more in the comming months! Thanks, guys! You ROCK!!!!!

[DisneyAnna]

Doombuggy:

thanks for seeing our side of the issue--sometimes as a parent of a disabled child, I feel like I have to really evaluate a situation to be sure I'm not going to offend anyone (by pointing out to them that THEY offended ME!!)

I have learned to pick my battles very carefully.

In any event, I wanted to wish you a happy, memorable and awesome vacation with your Grandmother---may if be filled with the most Magical of Memories for you both!!

~~DisneyAnna

[SueM in MN]

Hope you have a great trip, doombuggy.
Glad the people on this board could help you out.

[Mskanga]

I am a perfectly abled body person and my children do not have any problems either, however last year waiting to go to MGM , we waited for the bus and there was a lady with an ECV, yes you guessed it...some people had the nerve to whine about taking too long to load her ECV on the bus. Although I did not know this woman , I did tell those people that they should be grateful THEY didn't need an ECV or a wheelchair to move around, let me tell you I had never seen so many faces look down ashamed!
I just cannot understand some people's behaviour....and yes a lot of disabilities cannot be "seen", so never judge people unless you know them!

[adisneyfan2]

Yahoo! Well said.

[DisneyAnna]

WOW!!!

I hereby nominate mskanga for President of the Compassion Police!!!
How truly brave of you to make a stand for that woman with the ECV!!!
I think you should be a guide for guests with Disabilities!!!

(you can tell i am impressed when i use so many exclamation points!!!)

[mamajoan]

GOD LOVE YA, MSKANGA!!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!
:bounce: :Pinkbounc :smooth: :bounce: :smooth: :Pinkbounc :smooth: :bounce: :smooth: :Pinkbounc :smooth: :bounce: :smooth: :Pinkbounc

[SueM in MN]

For our courageous mskanga, a friendship award for being a friend to strangers:
http://www.janetbuck.com/awards/caaward.gif

And for the people who whine and get cranky about wheelchairs and ecvs, we have 2 awards:
http://www.spacelinks.com/SpaceCareers/award.gif
The Black Stone Award, for people who have one of those where their heart should be and

the Cranky Monkey Award, for people who left their heart home when they came to WDW.
http://www.values.ch/cm-award.jpg

[Mskanga]

You guys made my day, Thanks!!! You know , my friend and I always used to complain about the kids making a mess and always cleaning up after them and one day her grandmother was tired of listening to us complain and she said to us:

You know you are both absolutely right , the kids always make a mess and get dirty , it would be much better and you would be happier if they were confined to a wheelchair right on that corner and they wouldn't be able to make a mess or get dirty, now THAT would be much better, wouldn't it??

She really shut us up real good, we haven't complained since because we always remember what she said.
Now I have to tell you that you guys have taught me a lot here too , dd and I saw a woman not too long ago in walmart , both her legs were amputated and she was in a wheelchair. DD ( age 4 back then ) asked what happened to the lady's legs and I told her that some people have car accidents and they loose their legs because they get very hurt and then they get special legs with wheels to help them move around and go to places just like the rest of the people, that sometimes they may need a little bit of help and that we should help them . Would you believe that the woman actually thanked me for giving her such a straight caring answer? She said usually people make the kids shut up and they walk away ignoring her.:(

[adisneyfan2]

You are the greatest! I wish there were more people like you in the world. We wouldn't need this thread if there were!
:cool:

[s&k'smom]

Bravo MsKanga. About 6 years ago my niece Keelin passed away. She had been in a pediatric nursing home since age 2. This was a wonderful, caring place that took good care of her. Her siblings (there are 3) went up often and she came home regularly. I went with them once and something stuck out in my mind. Upon arrival the kids ran right up and to there sister's room. Making a ton of noise of course. But nothing bothered them. Like my niece many of these beautiful children were total care. Nothing fazzed these kids. Later sitting out in the yard my sister the baby of the family was babbling away to Keelin in baby talk just looking at her like any other sister. After reading this thread it reminded me of this experience and what a lesson my niece taught her siblings. That is doesn't matter what or who you are. Tubes, wheelchairs, breathing machines. All that matters is that they loved her. It was a beautiful experience for me to see and to know that she taught them tolerance.

[daughtersrus]

I've heard many times that I'm so "lucky" because Emily can't get into trouble and make a mess. I'd much rather clean up a mess than take her to therapy three times a week!

My daughter's physical therapist has become a friend of the family. We've watched her family grow also. She's had two more children since we've been seeing her. Third child had some medical problems that required surgery shortly after she was born. She's prefectly healthy now. Her last child is what most people would refer to as a "handful". She's 4 years old now but she's still into EVERYTHING! If you can think of something naughty, she's done it. From taking the fish out of the fish tank to "play" with them to emptying the cabinets in the entire kitchen. We talk often about what she's been into lately. I can't believe how Emily's PT can laugh about it. She said that when things are really bad and she's at her limit, she has to take a few minutes and thank God that her daughter IS able to get into trouble. I'm sure that if she wasn't a pediatric PT, she would think differently but because she's seen so many children that will never walk or sit let alone empty a cabinet out.

Her daughter does have some speech problems caused from apraxia but we joke that at least she doesn't need OT. Anyone that can catch a fish with her bare hands has pretty good small motor skills!

As a parent of a disabled child, I don't mind one bit when children ask questions. I answer them as honestly as I can so that it's easy for them to understand. I usually will say something like "Emily's legs don't work like your's do". If they ask why, I will say something like "because that's the way the God made her". That usually is enough. If parents try to avoid the subject, their children will grow up to be afraid or uneasy around handicapped children. Although Emily has never spoken a word, she's taught so many children some very important lessons.

Sorry to ramble! Thanks to all of the caring strangers that we've met alone the way!

[plummer925]

I didn't even finish all of the posts and already had to reply! :D

Last September (almost a year ago!) I had my tonsils out (at 27 - imagine that!) and a needle removed from my foot (no idea how it got there - doctor assumes I stepped on it at some point and it just healed over it...long story lol). Anyway, the two doctors did the surgerys at the same time since I was already out....

I got out of the surgery and couldn't walk or talk (I was sure a sight!). After three or four days BORED at home, my DH took me to Walmart (a thrill...lol) - I couldn't walk and being about 250 pounds I had an extremely hard time with the crutches...so he went in and got me a wheelchair to use for the shopping trip...

The saying about not judging until you've walked a mile in anothers shoes (or in this case - "wheeled" a mile in anothers chair!) really fit. I was AMAZED at how rude people were! And I was shocked to find that I couldn't reach things on the shelves....it was very difficult, and that was only for about an hour!!

Before that incident I was polite to people in wheelchairs (I was sure to move out of their way, etc)...Now I am more so - I ask if I can help them manouver around or get something that they may not be able to reach, etc....

I, for one, would never judge anyone in a wheelchair...I think everyone should be REQUIRED to use one for a day - and REALLY use it - not get out of it for anything without help - that would make people be not so judgemental...

just my two cents.... :rolleyes:

Crystal

[SueM in MN]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Crystal.
I agree that the world would be a much better place if each person had to spend a day totally experiencing what it is like to live with a disability.

[Wheelsie]

ok I know I probably shouldn't fuel a fire here LOL

But on our last trip DH and I decided to take the bus from Swan to MK. We were the ONLY people at the wait. When the bus pulled up I smled and motioned to the driver (as I always do when taking a bus even at home) The driver has to pull up and back a few time to angle the lift at the ramp area for me. As the bus was pulling up a HUGE family was running telling the driver to stop. (with a few explitives) I said that the driver was angling for me to get on (as I was staring this man down) and was I ever shot the "look of death" LOL

Dillweeds like that just make me laugh in their faces rather than get mad. I may be angry in some ways but I only laugh toward the offending persons.

[Mskanga]

Crystal , you are so absolutely right ....10 years ago I had surgery on both of my feet, one at a time and I was bound to a wheelchair and crutches for six long months, I know to a very good extent what folks on wheelchairs go through, I was stared at as something from out of space and plenty of times ignored , not to mention the limitations I had but I have to tell you that I am glad I had that experience, I learned something that probably I wouldn't have learned if I didn't go through that.