Poor dh, I can really hold a grudge

[Serena]

I've been doing a lot of thinking this weekend and I realized that I have been holding a grudge for over 16 years. . It makes me sick to my stomach to realize that we've wasted 16 years of our lives being angry and acting out and the crap we've let happen.

We had a talk and he was so angry I didn't know whether he would agree to try and work this out or not. He's been told a lot of stuff that didn't help. Stuff like he shouldn't have to tell me how he feels, I should know it. Stuff like if I really cared I'd do this or that, or something else, like your teenager should never argue or disagree.

Anyway, he agreed to work it out. But, he's doubtful, not that I could blame him.

It's really interesting to me that how much I profess to dislike people feeling sorry for themselves, I've been doing it all along, for that matter, so has he.
All of our disagreements stem from that one disagreement almost 16 1/2 years ago. Well that and the manipulation of a certain person to end our marriage. It didn't work. It came really, really close, but we aren't willing to let this go yet.

So, things are finally looking up. I know our arguments won't be over. Our attitudes have been here for awhile, I'm sure it will take more than an instant to get to where we want to go. But, we are working on it together, instead of against each other.

Btw, don't make me mad. :mad: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :( :D

[Cindy B]

Wow, how great of you to realize it..

Isn't communication a good thing. Now you realized where it started, now try on keeping it going now.

I know I struggle with the same thing, I think of all the time I wasted as well.

Now, you can start fresh, and go on...

[Serena]

Cindy, I hope it goes well for you.

[snoopy]

Don't be too hard on yourself, Serena.

We've all been down this road before, or at least most people i know have. Lets face it, marriage IS difficult. There are going to be disagreements and resentments, and the key to staying together and weathering the storms is communication.

It looks like you and DH are doing just that. Keep the faith, sweetie, this is just a bump in the road.

[browneyes]

I'll try not to make you mad, Laurie.;)

First things first. Forgive yourself. {{hugs}}




~Shannon

[Pam]

Laurie,
Good for you and your DH!!:Pinkbounc

Now, if that remark about teenagers not talking back is from "Tart Woman" - well all I can say is that her day will come when her child becomes a teen and then we'll see how SHE handles those years!:mad:

She sure was manipulating your family, wasn't she? I'm so glad that you and your DH saw through her ploys and are putting your marriage back on track.

{{{hugs}}}
Pam

[Serena]

LOL, Shannon, I wouldn't recommend it. I don't know how to forgive myself. I'm just going to take it from here making sure I remember what damage I can do if I let myself.

Snoopy, this is a big scary bump. :(

Pam, thank you. And yeah, she was good at what she was doing. My dh said that she was more than obvious about her intentions as well. He said that although he enjoyed the attention, he had no intention on doing what she wanted. She was just an easy place to go when he was angry with me.
He isn't going to be seeing her nearly as much. We do have to return her carpet cleaner though. I borrowed it, and it went caput. He's got to look at it to see if we need to replace it or not.

Half of me wants to thank her for helping me to realize what we were doing to our marriage and lives, but the other half wants to tear her apart. I think I'll compromise and not do either. I'd hate to have to go to jail now, but try asking tomorrow. lol

[Rajah]

I'm very glad to hear things are looking up, and that you've identified the problem. You can't solve a problem until you've identified it, so you've taken the first step.

I'm like you, though... I can really hold a grudge (though I try not to) and you *don't* want to make me mad.

[cotye]

Continued good thoughts for you... Hope things work out.

[SuiteDisney]

Keep talking to each other and don't give up! (((hugs)))